Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Back to the Main Landy feat. Shawn Booth V

Episode Date: April 21, 2018

Kaitlyn and her Fiance Shawn B. reminisce about their recent trip to Jamaica, clear up some of the many rumors surrounding the trip (are they married?), and make a big announcement! Buy Tickets San Francisco: https://livemu.sc/2vxjfKv  Irvine: https://bit.ly/2HlcE7e See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We're on with OTV. Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grace Therapy. Katelyn Bristow's going to answer your questions. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Wake up. Do you know what I was doing there? Full house. Danny Tanner and Auntie Becky. You know what was funny the other night?

Wake up San Francisco. What? This is the song. That doesn't end. Remember I posted it and I asked people to name that. song and like everybody nailed it well yeah except for a few people which is even funnier because do you remember this show what it's Canadian well then yes underneath the umbrella tree under the umbrella tree oh my gosh so good name the character is Iggy the Blue Jay and somebody else it's all I know that's because you just were reminded by it anyways this is a song

that doesn't end Yes, it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing and I know what it was. Hey. And they'll continue singing if I want to the weekend. What? Welcome to the weekend. Welcome to grape therapy.

Your daily forecast is looking pretty good. Looking like it's full of wine, only on my part. Full of espresso. We're good to go. I would like to send out an apology that this grape therapy episode is late, but we're going to make it worth it. Yes, we are. We're going to address some rumors and facts and truths and lies. How many rumors are there?

Eight. Okay. Let's start with number one. Number one is that I... We're doing the rumors right now. I am not a big reasoning guy. That's a rumor, because right now I'm drinking. People want to know what kind of wine I drink during the wine.

week? Yeah. So I'm going to start telling them. Right now I'm sipping on Arrington Vineyards from Nashville, straight on Nashville. Great place. You should go if you're in town. It's amazing. Arrington Vineyards definitely go. It's a Riesling and it's a vintage, you know, 2016. Now is it Riesling or Rysling? I hope you're joking. It's a Riesling. Okay. And Rieslings are usually sweet, but this one is more you know, more of a honeysuckle. Okay, so it's like you. A little grape fruit.

I actually said, I told my girlfriend Cleo the other day I was going to start calling you Honeysuckle is my new nickname for you and I forgot until this moment right now. Just call me H suck. What? Short for Honeysuckle.

Why would I ever call you H suck? The least sexiest nickname. Tuck and Huck. Of all time. Speaking of which, I don't know if you heard the news but. tuck and doodle just kidding is getting a cousin on Friday less than a week my sister Megan she bought a golden retriever puppy straight from the womb straight out of the womb first out of the

womb first out of the womb and it's a golden retriever and he's going to be your Friday and she named him huck so the adventures of huck and tuck commence so and we did this on purpose because now when we call huck or tuck they're both going to think we're calling, and then we'll have two golden retriever charging at us, and it'll just be like dreams and goals. That's going to be tough. I'm going to call Huck, Huck, B. I'm going to call him.

Yes, mooby, pretty, be, B, B, B. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Tucker's coming over here because I said that. Doodle. Oh, did you hear me talking? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, just in his head.

That was his head. So sad. Hi, bubs. And also, the same dog who gave birth to Megan's dog has a spare. A spare dog. She's got nine spares. But she had a miracle 10th baby, and we're going to look at her tomorrow, and I'm trying to convince Sean to let me have her.

Oh, man. Yeah. So long story short, this breeder that my sister found, she was the last one on the list. So she was number 10 on the wait list. And they ended up going to get to ultrasound, and they told my sister, it looks like there's only going to be nine puppies. So, come time for the day of the birth, she had her nine pups. And then like, escape from the womb. I think it was like 45 minutes later or something.

They noticed that she was starting to do something. She was like a miracle baby. Yeah. And so another one popped out. So my sister got one. And now we just found out that one of the girls. that was already sold to somebody. They can't take her anymore.

Pink puppy is up for grabs, and I want to take her and run. But that's going to be a little tough. Yeah. Or will it be everything Tucker ever wanted to have a little sister? She's going to have a little cousin. He'll be perfect for him. Anyways, we're going to look at the puppy tomorrow.

So wish me luck, everybody. When you're listening to this, we might be looking at the little golden retriever puppy. Right, Tucky. That's so funny that I did my dog voice and he came over. You love it, tuck. You love it. So one of the rumors we're going to be addressing has to do with Jamaica.

But speaking of Jamaica, I posted a boomerang the other day of my bathing suit cover up, which I never post bathing suit photos. But a couple of my girlfriends were like, whoa, abs. And I was like, okay, well, I mean, I hope so, because I'm going into week five of doing Shambi's workouts and meal plans and nutrition and I am seeing a difference like I really am. Yeah, you're killing it. You're doing awesome. I'm proud of you. I've been, I have a little

calendar. I mark off every day that I do something. I've been eating healthy. I've been limiting my wine, which is very sad and tragic, but I'm doing it. Doing good, babe. Super proud of you. You're going the distance. Going the distance.

Inside joke. But yeah, so you've got the new app coming out. Welcome to Boothcamp. How do you like that name? Well, I know you love it. I came up with on my own. Well, you know I like a good pun. Yes.

Boothcamp, get it, guys? Boothcamp app coming in May. I'm so excited. You've probably seen me post about it a couple times now. That's your kneecap. Son of a kneecap. We're getting... Oh, man.

Oh, that landed with you. Landy. Landy. Landed. Landed. Where were we? Oh, BoothCamp app. Yes.

It's coming next month. So get ready for it. If you want to sign up now, early access, 50% out the first month. Oh, wow. Boothcamp app.com. He's got daily workouts. It's got all types of nutrition meals, healthy recipes, including plant-based. Hello.

It's got a community for all of us. It's got a community for everybody to support one another, post pictures. It's kind of like... Confess. Instagram. but not on Instagram, but kind of like that, but it's a community. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like people can share their pictures and support one another and comment.

Yeah, and I'll go in there. No haters, okay? I can communicate with people and help, you know, encourage others. Yeah. There's modifications. Modifications for every exercise. Basically, you listened to what the people want and they want at home workouts. All I did was listen to the people for the past year.

I've been doing polls on Instagram. Teach me your tricks. Feedback. How can I get them to listen to me? These are exercises and workouts you can do anywhere, anytime. So you can do them from home. I know you guys are busy, especially all your moms out there. You got little ones running around, working all day.

These workouts are like 30 to 45 minutes for the most parts. And let me tell you, you feel the burn. And all you need is your body. And if you want a little more resistance, just use some resistance bands or booty bands. All you need is resistance bands. your body weight and a little bit of hope. Yes, a little bit of hope. A little bit of hope.

I can teach you everything. I'll show you all the exercises, instructional videos, but I can't teach you the motivation. And I can't teach you the willpower. I know that you can't because you know what? You make me resent it. Actually, I did really good in Jamaica. I was doing your workouts.

I did four. four workouts out of the five days that we were there and that you killed it is impressive absolutely abs absolutely absolutely glute absolutely that didn't work that didn't work basically what i'm saying is this is going to be one of the best if not the best i'm a little biased but this app is probably the most comprehensive fitness and nutrition app out there i've seen them all oh i'm bold statement i'm bold because i'm passionate about it i've been working on this for a while I'm all the way up. I want to give the people what they want.

We were. Withcampopopop.com. We swipe up now to give 50% off. We were so weird. We go, we get weird when we go on vacation. And we were. Just when we go on vacation? No, we're always weird. But while we were in Jamaica, we kept having this inside joke. When we make each other laugh, we like to say that it landed. So if I make Sean laugh really hard, I'm like, oh, that landed. And then. And then usually our sayings turn into like inside jokes or weird things that we do. So it turned into, ooh, landy. And we kind of go into Rick, actually. And we go, ooh, landy, that landy. And then if Sean doesn't like when I tell the story because he thinks he had to be there, but I think it's so funny.

So if I said something, what did I say this week? That was so funny. Oh, man. There was a lot of laughs this week. Because I'm so funny. And anyways, I said something and obviously it landed. So I said, ooh, Landy. And then Sean laughed again.

And I said, oh, double Landy. That was me. Oh, okay. And then he laughed three times. And I said, I got you to Landy eight times in a row. Yes, that is impressive. That was the one. Because you made me run around bases twice because we said, if you get to third base,

that's like that really landed. Triple Landy. And then if you make it all the way home, really went the distance. Oh my God. Anyways. I laughed my ass off eight times in a row, so I got eight Landis. And then you built it back up with Boothcamp app.com.

See what I did there? No. Not Landy. Landy, right there. Landy Dorfman. Landy Jackson. Landy Moore. Ooh.

Landy Kofax. Um, Landy. Nope Landy cane Candy cane Landy cane All right

Yeah I'm done We're done here What else do we have to talk about Check and see how my boys are doing The white socks Big white socks guy How are they doing? They're getting smoked

In like the fourth inning I don't care I didn't even listen What you just said Do you want some wine They're getting killed Do you want some wine? Of course. No thanks.

Oh. The funniest is we were in Jamaica and we went for a nice romantic date dinner that Sean set up and they brought a bottle of wine. And I was like, they're like, do you want a glass or a bottle? And I was like, um, bottle please, knowing that Sean does not enjoy wine. So they brought two glasses and I was like, babe, just let them pour you so I can look like we're having a bottle together and I'll just drink it. So the whole dinner we had wine, I just kept sipping from two different glasses to make it look like you were drinking your wine. The dinner gone wrong. I had a nice romantic setup for my girl here, but the weather had other plans. Mother nature is a bitch sometimes. You know, it's tough being engaged to a lady who had the most romantic dates ever imaginable. Overrated.

Overrated. It's all good. But I had a bachelor-esque date night set up. In Jamaica. Not that I was trying to do a bachelor-esque date. It was just... No, you're just romantic. You could totally see that being on one of the episodes.

Oh, yeah. It was like this long walk, this sidewalk, this sidewalk, into a patio in the middle of the ocean. Oh, Tucker. And we were in private and lit up. Except we would have ate the food and talked about things other than marriage. Right. I guess we could address the marriage rumors. What marriage rumors?

about why we were in Jamaica this week. Are we going to tell them? Oh, way to the end marketing. I'm a businesswoman. I will make all of you listen to the end of this podcast, or they'll just fast forward to listen. Yeah, probably. Okay, so that's why we should just talk about it.

No, we'll make them way. Actually, you know what? You want to do a little mid-show break with me? Sure, let's do it. Do you ever get scared of going bald? I don't love the thought of going bald. Because you know how you think, like, oh, my tattoos and, like, all this are my identity? Yes.

I think your hair is your identity. Really? Your hair and your muscles. Oh, thanks. Yeah, and did you know that... Both that are going to possibly go... Well, that's what my next point was 66% of men lose their hair by the age of 35. That's a few years today.

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You're into baseball, are you into tattoos? Great segue. Thanks. Love your tattoos. Do you? I've never been a tattoo. You know what? I go back and forth so much that that's the reason why I shouldn't have tattoos

because I change my mind so much when it comes to that stuff. Oh, yeah, I noticed. So I... I'm big this guy. No, I'm big this guy. No, I'm big this guy. Oh, this one. week i'm going to be this guy imagine you were a big tattoo guy and then a week later and then a week

later you're like no i'm not i remember i was like an idiot like in high school and i like found this cool design on my computer as like a tribal like red and black and i was like gonna put it on my back my dad's like you're idiot no and i'm like no i want to do it and then like a week later and i didn't want to do it anymore but that's what i'm saying you know my mind changes with that I'm very fortunate because all my tattoos have been spur of the moment and I still like them all. Yeah, they're great. Do you really like mine? I love them.

But you know what I like is that you told me. Do you know what? Go, I'll tell you my strafter. You said, well, you said that I'm kind of a rare breed now because I don't have any tattoos and nowadays most people have tattoos. So it's kind of cool to be an original and not have tattoos. You're like a nice little clean slate. Clean AC Slater. Oh, boy.

Remember what I just said to you now? I said, do you really love my tattoos? And you're like, yeah, I love them. You know what that reminded me of? What? This is random. But did you ever see old school with Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn? Yes.

Okay. When Will Ferrell, like, is going through a hard time because he's getting divorced and he, like, takes a wedding gift that he got and brings it back, and he's, like, giving it to her. And he's like, she's like, is like a crock pot? Yeah. She's like, is that the one? And he goes, yeah, same line.

She goes, no, I think that's the same model. We got that for you for your wedding. And he goes, oh, I love it. And he, like, hugs it and takes it back. That was that terrible. It is good. Okay. Anyways, what was my other thing?

I was going to say tattoos. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I wanted to talk about, was there's two rumors we need to address, and one is that you have the same bird tattoos that I do. Yeah. Yeah, that's an old one. That kind of reignited this past week.

Well, because I was bored, and I was like, that's a cute photo of us. And so I posted it saying, if you're a bird, I'm bird, and then everybody thought that you got the bird tattoos that I have. Whoa! But you're very squirmy right now. I'm always squirm it. But that was from three years ago at the Big E, when you got matching tattoos.

When we were in the honeymoon phase, because God knows you wouldn't do it now. Romance is dead No, it's not dead I want to take a poll though Okay On Instagram Okay Would you

Get a tattoo Of something In relation to your significant other Would you do it? Yes or no? How committed are you to me? No, I'm saying This is for everybody

If you're an engaged couple If you're a married couple If you're madly in love With your boyfriend or girlfriend Are you madly in love with me? Yes, babe Of course I am. Are we...

But I want to get a tattoo because I feel like the tattoo is kind of like a curse. It worked out for... Angelina Jolie. Oh, my God. Bob Thornton. Are we married? Yup.

So, are we? That is the question. I need another spoon more. Oh, I guess it's time. It's time to reveal. We are. We went. We went.

to Jamaica Mon for a wedding photo photo shoot why are you

finishing that one are you okay where are we I'm worried about you I'm worried about you that took a lot on me yeah work on that cardio getting better shape hey

anyways we went to Jamaica for a photo shoot are we married yeah did we go to Jamaica to get married no did we end up getting married did we get married?

Also no but is it a possibility that we were in the courthouse before then? and we're married before we went to Jamaica? Also, no. But is it a possibility that we could go back to Jamaica and get married there? Probably not, because Tucker couldn't travel there. Yeah.

Is Tucker going to be your best man? He'll be the best everything at the wedding. So, best man, made of honor, made of honor, ring bear, prize made. Flower girl. Flower girl. Yeah, he'll be all the ball. He will marry us, actually.

Yeah, he could. so yes the rumors are false false but no because then I had my pandora jewelry on and my fingers were all swollen and so the only finger that all these look at that I'm wearing see right now I'm wearing them on the right hand yeah but all of them were so swollen my right hands bigger than my left so I moved all the bands to my left hand not even thinking and on my Instagram story

it looked like I had wedding bands on beside my um engagement ring. So you're wearing jewelry and you put it on the engagement hand to make the people think that you weren't married by putting engagement jewelry on your wedding finger hand. Just trying to get people to tune into the old podcast, you know? So I've gotten a good amount of messages and phone calls from friends this past week. Yeah. And don't worry, you'll be invited to the big day.

Um What are you doing over there? I'm laughing so hard So I thought for You're not paying attention No I wasn't What were you saying? Nothing I was saying how it was a funny

Interesting week Because we were getting messages And Oh yeah Calls and Your family thought we were Well I had to send out a group message To my family and said

Hey guys just letting you know That today we are doing a Photo shoot For a Canadian So if you see any people picture of us that are in our wedding attire, just please know we did not get married. You would have been there. You would have been there.

Yeah, would have been there. No, I'm laughing because I was like, I wanted to read to you a couple pages out of my diary from when I was the Bachelorette. Nice. So last night was night one. What a roller coaster. Woo-wee! All I can say is, wow.

What an incredible group of men. The best. They chose me as the Bachelorette. I am overwhelmed with happiness. Oh, my gosh. So much joy. Let me have this. Okay.

I really... I really enjoyed a couple of the guys. Sean is a babe soda. Boom. I can't even explain how attracted to him I am. His smell, his accent, and his vibe. I gave him my first impression rose. He didn't even do anything that really stood out.

He was just himself, charming, and he stayed on my mind. How's the plan? Cupcake Chris went in for a kiss. Sure did. That's son of a bee. Ballsy move. Okay, let's... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's just skip the next 17 pages of you talking about all the other guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's skip to a sumo wrestling date. You were there. I was. I wrote up on my bike to the mansion for... Wait, I wrote up on my bike and we all learned the art of sumo wrestling. It was so funny to watch the guys try.

I saw Joe Bailey's balls numerous times. Not sex. Sean somehow looked sexy as hell in a man diaper. Oh, wow. I don't think I've ever described a man as sexy as hell in my life. I don't think you've described to me like that ever since. Nope. I saw, oh, then I start chirping guys a little bit.

Let's see if I say anything else. Do, do, do, do complaining about dudes. Oh, Sean continued. to prove how great he is always wanting time in using it as best he can there's no one else i'd rather give the group date rose to and spend more time with that was a good night they didn't even air that but we had some alone time yeah because we asked them not to air it no we didn't um yeah Sean and I went for a hot tub and the cameras let us have 10 minutes along ooh 10 minutes I like Sean a lot he's kind of an introvert but he's funny and he has a personality he seems smart and not to mention

super eff and sexy oh wow i still i'm down girl i still feel bad though rushing all the guys home producers were not happy with me that's funny well i was so there you go that's cute very cute there's a few more diarrhea a trip down old memory lane skis what else were we going to talk about i don't know your podcast i'm just here enjoying enjoying uh spending the evening with you are you yeah don't you think it is great though to podcast because you like you're not checking social media you're kind of just in the moment having conversation yeah podcasting's fun what did you think about my podcast about sex with emily oh i gotta i listen to like the first half of it i've got to catch up all right

i'm getting there it's very informative yes that's what i've heard okay um I think all I have left to say is to talk about an exciting thing coming up. What is that? I'm... Oh, oh, yeah. We should take a photo tonight of this what we're sitting at so that people can see this cute little thing we made. Okay, so, big announcement, everybody. Off the vine is...

Off the Vine is doing a West Coast live tour. Wow. Yeah. Starting on the West Coast. Starting on the West Coast. Where are you headed, Sally? It's going to be during my birthday celebration week. So my birthday is June 19th.

We're going to do it the week before because you know how girls do. We like our birthday weeks. We like our birthday months. I wish people could see you dancing right now. Excuse me. So June 12th. going to be in San Francisco at Cobbs Comedy Club. So, I mean, I know all my Off the Vine girls and guys, my Off the Vine family can do like a road trip if you're nearby.

Start planning your trip now. June 12th, San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club. And June 14th at the Irvine Improv in Irvine, California. Nice. Tickets are on sale now, even some VIP tickets for post show meet and greet. So we can hang out. We can talk about life. Love anything.

I mean, we all know I'll talk about anything. You'll go there. I'll go there. But just click the link in the show description of this podcast for tickets. And last live podcast I had in New York sold out very quickly. So much fun. It was such a blast. We just sat up there and it felt like it was just a two-hour hangout with friends, drinking wine,

saying all of our can you nots, confessions, everything. Yeah, I got to redeem myself. Yeah. Will you be my guest? Yeah, let me speak with my agents, my manager, my publicist. Give a appearance fee. I can send you an email where you can talk with them. I can afford it.

Oh, wow. Well, off the vine can afford it. Okay. Podcast one can afford it is what I'm getting at. Podcast one, your people contact my people. Yeah, I'm not 100% on the guests. Michael Jordan. I don't think that would landies with my listeners.

But if you guys want to give suggestions Who's your dream podcast guests besides Ellen? It used to be Ellen, but I don't think it is anymore. I've heard you're not supposed to meet your heroes. Yeah. So I'm not, she's not my dream guest anymore. All right. Who's your second dream guest?

Um, Kristen Bell. That's a good one. Her husband's got a super successful podcast. Yeah, he tweeted me. Oh, wow. Dax. Hi, Tucker. Look how cute is.

We should go on a double date. With Kirsten Bell and Dax Shepherd. Yeah. We're totally way cooler than them They're like a couple goals Anyways How do you feel about John Sina and Bella

Bella? Bella twin, one of the bella's Yeah, their breakup We were there for their engagement At WrestleMania We were I feel like I was really part of their journey And we really lived through them

Through their journey Um Yeah Another one bites the dust Dang eh Dang hey Didn't see that one coming No

He's celebrity breakup Coming in hot Tis the season They should have waited until after Mercury RetroGade Well yeah what is up with this retrogate thing You're still using that as an excuse I just like to blame things Okay guys go buy tickets for the live podcast

Because I know from experience They sell out quick and I want to hang out with all of you After the West Coast which coast he going to This is one other one Yeah Ice Cube baby That's the West Coast All the time, baby, oh.

All the time, baby. Okay, you guys. Thanks for hanging out with us and try to think of a clever way. Do you have a joke? I do. Okay. Did I use my joke? No.

What did the zero? Oh, boy. Say to the eight. Am I allowed to say it because I know the answer? No. I can say it. Okay, what is it? The number zero?

Yeah. The number eight. Yeah. What did number zero say number eight? Nice. Cool belt, man. Cool belt, man. Oh.

Landy. Landis. Lefty hanging. A-o. All right, guys. Have a good night. Have a good weekend. Sorry, this podcast came out late.

Love you, long time. Have a good weekend. Bye. Talk with you soon. Bye. Love you. Love you, bye. Love you, bye.

See you. Bye. See you. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV? Quick sponsor review for you.

Buffalo Wild Wings, Wings, Beers Sports, Hymns, get a trial month of Hymns for just $5, for hymns.com slash vine and Amazon. Keep the podcast free while you shop. Amazon.com slash shop slash Caitlin Bristow.