Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Before “I Dew” with Clio

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

The one and only Clio de la Llave joins Kaitlyn today to brainstorm wedding ideas… because let’s be honest, neither of them have really accomplished much planning yet. Oh, and it just so happens to be Clio’s birthday week! What better way to celebrate your 36th birthday than to hop on the ol’ mic with your bestie and record a podcast? The two of them discuss their upcoming bachelorette parties, whether they will have summer or winter weddings, and how Kaitlyn would proceed if her ex showed up as a plus one. To top it off, they listen to some wedding-related Vino voicemails and potentially give one Vino’s fiancé a heart attack. Just kidding, he is fine, but he will definitely be checking to make sure the diamond he bought is in fact real. Get ready for a fun Grape Therapy sesh with two great gals who are not-so-great at wedding planning. BLOOM - Bloom Nutrition is offering my listeners 15% off your purchase of their Greens & Superfoods blend when you go to bloomnu.com/OFFTHEVINE. LIVING PROOF - Go to LivingProof.com/VINE and use code VINE to get 10% off your first purchase. PROGRESSIVE - Get a quote today at Progressive.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with eye gaming Ontario this week's grape therapy is sponsored by bloom bloom nutrition is offering my listeners 15% off your purchase of their greens and superfoods blend when you go to bloomnew.com slash off the vine living proof go to livingproof.com slash vine and use code vine to get 10% off your first purchase and progressive get a quote today at progressive.com Podcast One presents Off the Vine Grape Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions.

Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. So, okay, first of all, let's just set the stage here. I'm in Colorado and looking at snow. It's the first day I haven't woken up and taken. a shot a firewall and had a mimosa. So I feel like I might be off my A game today without it because it's the end of the trip. And we have to get the podcast in. And we don't have an editor

because times are tough apparently for OTV. What's going on? He's on vacation. He's like, I need a break from Gatlin. It's too much. We're going to do this one ourselves. And you know what? Maybe we won't need even one edit. We'll just keep in anything that we say stupid or not stupid. Let's do it. Let's just do it. I've got Cleo here with me, clearly. And I feel like people could just tell as soon as you say something.

You've got a very specific voice, Cleo. It's a little deeper and raspier because I had a little party weekend. And now I'm like, sound like man. Well, yeah, because happy birthday. It was your birthday yesterday. And did you have so much fun? Oh, I had such a good time. do you look a little older and wiser?

You don't look, you don't look older, but you do seem wiser. I know, I can feel it. No, but it was so fun. It was kind of like one of those like random birthdays. I would turn 36 and like, it is a little bit like, holy, we're getting close to 40, Caitlin, but. Oh, I know. That we're going to have to have like the best 40th birthday.

I'm going to rent a yacht in Italy for our 40th. Yes. Hot gossip of the week. Will Smith just smack the shit out of me. Do you think that was staged or real that he slapped Chris Rock? I think it's real. I don't know why Will Smith would agree to do that because he's getting so much backlash. And I feel it was against what he tries to put out there.

And I just think it's so sad because it could have been one of the best days of his life. And I would love to know what Will Smith is thinking. right now. Oh my gosh. Well, I just saw a video where he was like partying after the Oscars with his like Oscar in his hand, like just at the club party. And so I think he's okay. But that maybe he didn't like see the internet yet. But you know what? Did you hear that? I saw a headline yesterday. So I didn't, I don't know if it's real true or not, but that they're thinking of revoking his Oscar. Oh my gosh. I mean, God, why do I see two sides of every story? It's like a blessing and a curse. I hate it. I want to be so strong in like one opinion, but I'm like, gosh,

he was being so protective of his wife. But then at the same time, he like talked about other dudes banging his wife one time and it was fine. And then Chris Rock, who has, it's like very known for inappropriate humor, says something that I think was definitely not in good taste. Like, that is, that can be such a sensitive subject for women in their hair and for someone to like come out and talk about alopecia and shave their head. And, you know, like, she could have just like, hit it under a wig and not talked about it, but she, you know, put it out there for other people who struggle with that. And then he felt very protective, but obviously violence is not the answer, Will Smith. So the way he handled it was so poor. And like, it was like, you've never

seen that side of Will Smith before. He's always this super pleasant, humble, great guy on the internet. And then all of a sudden, he spazzed. Like, and I think I read somewhere that they have history too so i think it was like a combination of a couple things but like definitely not the appropriate reaction not reasonable at all shock was like so shocked he's like can you imagine what he was thinking is probably like okay just got to keep going and he did i mean i only saw a quick clip of it but i'm like that must have been really thrown him off his game oh my gosh like and will like i love how i call him will like he's my friend but he like won't wound up to smack him.

Like, it was a hard smack. Like, he really meant it. And I was just, I'm really, really curious to see if he, like, obviously he's going to make a statement. But I'm curious to see if he does any interviews. We should definitely get him off the vine. Yeah, let's do that for sure. Let's see what he has to say. First exclusive interview with Caitlin Bristow sounds like something Will would do.

Okay, can you imagine that you, because you chirp people on the tour, you know, like, You'll go on the crowd and imagine someone just comes up to you, what is your good old snack? It would really throw my whole night off. Like, I don't know how I would, obviously I'd be like, I'm security. But if that was televised on like national television, like, I don't know. I'm just like still shocked by it. No, I know it does. Yeah, it's definitely disappointing.

You're like, no, because you do feel like you know him. Jason thinks every single thing you see on television is. Like, he thinks that whole thing was just a complete setup for ratings. And I'm like, okay, the Oscars, yeah, the ratings are down. And it's like a dying breed almost that nobody really cares about anymore. So I get that they don't write ratings. But like you said, Will Smith wouldn't agree to that to make himself look like an idiot. I don't know.

We'll see what happens. But everyone's like, cancel them like, oh, God, no. I mean, he definitely needs a little slap on the wrist or something. like that was abuse yeah that was definitely abuse so anyways I'll just make sure that no one is

we'll have like Adam and Grant being DJ's security guard at your show on Monday I can't wait and I will be having a few shots and wine oh yeah I'm so excited the show the show on Monday is going to be so fun yep I get to

I get to celebrate you and your birth stay and hang out with you and we're going to have like wine and cuddles with the dogs and it's going to be just the oh i have a new movie you know how i always put on moana and pack and it's like my comforting movie i've got a new one it's incanta i think is what's going to see that i didn't knew i was like i just need to wait to watch it with kately oh my i'm obsessed i am glad i'm not going to lie that we've got a new movie i really know moana now yeah moana's still going to be on the rotation, but this new one, the sing-alongs are just unlike any other. Oh, we can't read.

Okay. Okay. I'm so excited. Also, we are both in the process of wedding planning and I really need to get motivated over here because I'm getting so many voicemails and DMs about my wedding and now I have some time to like start planning. And we already have started, but like I do need some motivation here. So I thought we could snowball some ideas off each other. And then we also have some bino voicemails related to wedding. So just a fun little, little wedding pod. I actually feel like this is the first time that we're both starting to like focus on the wedding and we're starting to get somewhere, which is like, okay, we got to keep the momentum going. I know. Why is it so hard? And how do people do that?

Like, I feel like as soon as people get engaged, they start wedding planning and I'm like, oh, shit, good for you. Like I'm like almost forget that there's a wedding to be had because there's so many other things going on in life. So I love. I don't know if we can spill a little secret, but I feel like we were talking about it. I'm going to do a little bit of a summer, like not summer, but you know, like hot wedding and then you a little maybe winter wedding? Yeah, I'm so down with that. I am so down with a winter wedding.

And I honestly do think that's what's going to happen, which I always was like, I'm going to get married on a beach or in hot weather or summer. And I'm like, honestly, can we just do it in Nashville in the winter? I don't care. It's the venue that I want is so beautiful. And I'm like, I'll take it whenever it's available. Yeah. Even if it's on a Monday. I was going to say, would you get married on a Wednesday?

I don't care. I just don't want to put other people in an uncomfortable position to be taking even more time off work when they like usually you, you know, because I'm already making everybody travel to Nashville. Yeah, but you know what? I feel like because you're traveling. You're not going to go to Nashville for just like Friday, Saturday. So it's like you're doing them a favor because then they have to extend their trip and actually get. because I know you'll want everyone to like get together and like the more days everyone spends together will be more fun so do it. I really I really need to not stress the

fuck out when I'm like have everybody in town because I always feel like such a responsibility that it's on me that they're in my city that I need to entertain and like I just always feel so much responsibility especially if it's like a group of people like yeah from out of town obviously like when you come it's different you're like you know we just chill on the couch but no i know but for sure like and that's a lot of people and then you're like wanting to make sure that everyone gets along and gets to know each other but no you know what we'll just program it really well and you you cannot worry about it all right news flash to nobody i'm not a morning person but recently i have noticed that my morning routine can really make or break a day and how the day

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you and me. Put signs to work and unlock your best hair with living proof. Go to livingproof.com slash vine and use code vine to get 10% off your first purchase. That's livingproof.com slash vine, codevine for 10% off your first purchase. Livingproof.com slash vine and use code vine. Now back to off the vine grape therapy. And also we need to plan bachelor at parties because I've really starting to think about that, especially if it's going to be a winter wedding. And I'm like, what would be your top Bachelorette destination? Okay. So, but again, because I'm doing destination wedding, I didn't want to do destination bachelorette, but my top would be a visa right now. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. I thought you were going to say like,

Napa. Yeah, dream big. That's a good one. That's definitely. a top destination. I mean, I was thinking more of a Tulum vibe. I don't know. To loom too would be sick. Yeah. I honestly want to do it in Canada. I honestly want to go to Vancouver and Okinaw again. Yeah. Oh my God. That's such a good idea in the summer. Yes. No. No. Oh yeah. It has to be summer. Shoot. We are past that. Wow. I really didn't think this one through. This summer. Because then you probably want to get it, what, do it around August if you're getting married. Oh my gosh. I don't even know what month it is. I just, in my brain right now, in my brain right now, because I'm, I'm looking out the window in Beaver Creek, Colorado, at just like snow falling. So I'm, like,

thinking we're in the winter season. That just goes to show how screwed up I am in the brain of, like, where I'm at, who, like, what time zone am I in? What is my name? I just finished a tour. I'm in Colorado. What is like, I can tell you. I can do it. No, we can still do a summer. Wow, what an idiot I am. I literally was like, well, that idea has passed. Nope, it's not. Okay, we're back on Canada.

I love this. So you're thinking like maybe a day of Vancouver, two days, or like a night in Vancouver and then go to Colonna and do like vineyards? Yes. Oh, I love it. And like boats and like boat and like just be on the lake. That just sounds magical to me. contact free. We need to start planning this ASAP because I mean, how almost April? It will

say, ooh, I should have, I should have tricked you somehow. Oh, son of. Oh, wait, this comes out April fools, but I, now you're going to think I'm lying when I'm telling you one of my confessions. Oh, I cannot wait to hear the confession. I got another tattoo. Stop. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, you got a tattoo. Would I guess what it is? You can try and I'm going to make you get it with me. Okay. I actually want to get a tattoo. But they did a really bad job.

Oh, no. Where is it? On my ankle. It's a scrunchy. You got a scrunchy tattoo? No. Oh, yes. But they did a really bad job. Oh, no.

Like how bad? Can I see it? No, I'm going to wait until you come to Nashville because I want to record your reaction. Okay, but so now you're telling me that I have to get a spreadsheet tattoo. Yeah, and I'm going to make you go to the same guy and get a bad one just so we're matching. I get this, like, beautiful scratchy tattoo. But I also love how I have zero tattoos. And then if someone asked me, do you have a tattoo?

Yeah. What is it? That's a grunchy. Can I get it around my nipple? Damn it, that's what I should have done. But speaking of a scrunchies, are you ready for the Bachelor photo shoot? Yes, I am ready. We all know I hate photoshoots, but I haven't had one in a minute.

So I'm going to really embrace the photo shoot and it's going to be fun and the pictures are going to be great. And it's, I'm really excited for the next edit of The Bachelor at Scrunchies. Oh my God. And we just pretty much spilled what the next edit's going to be, but this one's I, you went, you went two ways for this one and I'm excited. I'm excited for people to see it. I'm excited for people to see it too. God, you really got to get creative because you can all, you know, like, they're scrunchies. And I like, it's like a little bit of an obsession for me because I am like, well, how many more scrunchies do I need? But then I see like, we pick out all

the material and we get all the new ones and I'm like, ah, this is my new favorite edit for sure. Okay, I spilled the beans. It's a Bachelorette edit. But it makes sense. We're talking about bachelor's parties right now. Wait, I actually have two questions for you. Yes. Do you want your bachelor to be like a rager or a chill weekend or a combo of both? A combo of both. Yeah, me too. Yeah, right? Because that's why I love like Vancouver. We go all out and then like wine and actually maybe karaoke. Oh, absolutely. Okay. I'll bring, I'll bring my brandy song and you bring your Alanis and then it'll be great. Perfect.

Wait, should we get into the pink holes? Because I love, I'm obsessed with it. Okay, I'm loving this new format and the prankles. So it's so funny. It's amazing. It's so funny. Okay, let's get into it. Well, there was this one time. And so I guess my question is, I don't know if I want to share my name. have a really good succession for you. We were literally trying to remove my dog's pimples. I just called to say I love you. Okay. So Anna from St. Louis and wants you to prank her newly engaged.

So new fiancé and pretend to be someone from the ring insurance company. Oh, this is good. So his name is Jacob, but let's play the voicemail and see what she wants us to do. Hi, Caitlin. This is Anna from St. Louis. I just got engaged to last weekend and it's the world's most gorgeous ring

and I thought it would be funny if you would crank call my I was going to say boyfriend, my fiance and pretend to be somebody from the Ray insurance company that we just bought and say that my diamond stone fell out

and that we were going to need to start the process to replace it because I think he would have a brain aneurysm and I think it would be hilarious. Um, his name is Jacob and his phone number is. Thanks. Bye. I don't understand what she wants me to do.

Wouldn't he know if the diamond fell out? Wait, what about this? This would be hilarious. Be like, oh, yeah. So obviously in order to get the insurance, if we got the appraisal back and just wanted to let you know, like, we don't think that this, this isn't a real diamond. So there's not like you like, like it'd only be insured for like $800, like $800 value. Dirty Cleo

That is Probably just have a heart attack Oh my gosh What if one time I do cause somebody to have a heart attack I'm scared Okay here we go Jacob Well what's the ring insurance

Company Oh god Oh Hey is this Jacob? this is him yeah oh hi this is amanda calling from the ring insurance that we're just working on a claim for you right now uh we're just trying to appraise the ring but um i i'm not sure where you purchase this ring from um do you know if they sold you on a real diamond uh yeah the diamond i got it from a diamond shop have you read any of their yelp reviews uh yeah i think so

are their google reviews at least hmm okay yeah because we're appraising it and it looks like It's only a value of $900. Who do you work with? Off the fine podcast, bye. I panicked. I panicked. I panicked. You have to pull him back.

You have to call him back. I don't want to. I just want to leave him with that. Oh, my God. I'm like I'm used one. That is so. Oh, my God. Oh, that's amazing.

Oh, my God. Who do you work with? First question. That was really good. I'm always wondering why people aren't asking me the right questions in these prank calls. That was the right one, Jacob. That was the right one.

You got me. I literally was like thinking the whole time. I was literally thinking the whole time. time. I'm like, what if he asked me what insurance company I'm with? I have no idea. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Damn it. That one was, oh, my. Okay, I have to tell you this story really quickly. So one of our mutual friends, his sister ended up having, she lost the ring. So then they had to go to the insurance company, got a new ring. And then one night, she went out, doesn't know what happened at all, wakes up. There's no more diamonds in her ring. And so she was like, I cannot go back to the insurance

company and tell my husband he's going to kill me. So she ended up getting a ring that like a look-like ring on Amazon. And that is now what she wears as her as her case ring. Stop it. Stop it. So she's just wearing an Amazon ring and he hasn't noticed.

Oh. Holy shit. That is, that could create some problems as in a divorce if you ask me. Oh my God. Jason would notice for sure. He'd notice the second. Oh, yeah, 100%.

Oh, my God. He tells me to clean my ring every day. He's like, clean that. It is clean. Are you up for one more prank call? Yeah, let's do one more. This one is from Cambri, and she wants you to prank her fiancé,

so let me play you the voice now. I'm a big fan. I currently live in Austin, Texas, and I listen to your podcast every week. Um, I would love for you to prank call my fiance. His name is Chase. We're planning a wedding and the dance floor is not in the budget. And he knows that.

So we agreed that we would, we really want a dance floor. And so we were going to put in our own money towards it. It's about $1,500. And he knows that for you to pretend to be someone from center stage dance floors and tell him that I put down a deposit for a stand for of a large amount of money, any amount of money. His name is Chase and his number is six. Okay. I'm going to pretend I'm someone from there.

I'm going to say she put down a $20,000 budget. I don't want it to be like too crazy, or should I say 10? I say like $11,000. Okay, yeah, that's more realistic. Okay. Yeah. Okay, here we go. His name is Chase.

And she's camera. Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice. He read button me. What? I think you need to try it again. Okay, I'm going to try it one more time. Then I'll just leave a voicemail. Your call has been forwarded to an automatic.

He really doesn't want to answer a private number. It's not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. Hi, Chase. This is Amber Colleen from Center Stage Dance Floors. I was speaking to Cambry the other day. She put down a deposit for the dance floor. So she put down $11,000, but we're actually going to need another $1,000. It was supposed to be 12. So she's already put down 11. So just let me know which credit card you would like me to put that on. Just wanting to get, I couldn't get a hold of Cambry either. So my number is 8. four zero call me back again it's amber we're going to need another thousand dollars also that's so stupid of me to say an area code because he'll be like that's not the right area code oh well maybe it's one of those like you know when it's like one 800 or one eight eight eight

oh dang it i've been on a good streak here for people answering their phone so shoot i know now i'm looking up what is the austin area code and it's five one two or seven three not what you said. Okay. Oh yeah. Next time I tell someone to call me back, I'm just going to leave the hotline number. So then they can get that. This episode of Great Therapy is brought to you by Progressive. Progressive helps you get a great rate on car insurance, even if it's not with them. They have a nifty comparison tool that puts rates side by side. So you choose a rate and coverage that works for you. Let's say you are interested in lowering your rate on car insurance. You visit Progressive.com, get a quote with all the coverage as you want. And you'll see Progressive.

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Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, comparison rates not available in all states or situations, prices vary based on how you buy. What if you suspected your partner had a secret lover? Living in your own home. We only have sex in my bedroom when she's not in the house. And she's home and she's up in her bedroom. We have the basement. We have the family room. We have the living room.

I'm Jillian Hamilton. Join me every week on cheating when love lies to hear true, raw, real interviews from cheaters and portrayed partners on podcast one, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Austin Vine, grape therapy. Let's try and help out some fellow engaged ladies, Cleo, shall we? Yes. Okay, I would love that. Time for take it or leave it. Probably a little.

60% of the time, it works every time. So this one is from Lindsay from Scottsdale, Arizona. And this is advice on how to deal with wedding planning stress. Hi, Caitlin. My name is Lindsay. I live in Scottsdale, Arizona. Big fan of yours. I just want to say that.

I've been following you for years, a member of the Austin Vine Facebook group. But Caitlin, I need some help. I am a 2022 bride. I'm getting married to the love of my life, Matt. He is so wonderful, and I'm really excited to get married. But I have to say this one thing, that wedding planning is so overrated. I've never found anything more stressful in my entire life. So I want to know, considering that you're also a fellow bride, how are you staying sane?

I wish we could have eloped, but at the same time, we want to have our special moment. And, of course, there's financial stress and mental stress and physical stress. So, yeah, I want to know, how can I stay sane and not lose my mind during this crazy time? Okay, love your girl. And also, congrats to you and Jason. Okay, bye. Okay. I don't know if this applies for us.

We have a crazy plan. I know. I'm like, I haven't really found it stressful because I don't really do much. But I can't imagine taking on that much of a responsibility and role while you're trying to work and do other things. Like, if you're planning a wedding by yourself,

I can, I would not stay sane. I think the advice is to just let yourself go insane because I think that's normal for wedding planning. I know. And it is crazy when you start seeing like you put together like the budget. I almost feel like the more organized you are, the more stressful it probably becomes because you actually start to see everything add up.

I think a good piece of advice for anyone planning anything is like give up on the idea of it being perfect. That's just going to stress you out and probably just go on a couple dates with your husband and make it like a date out of it. Like, hey, let's go have a glass of wine. And while you're here, can you help me with this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and the other thing? You have your whole list. Bring out your laptop. Yeah. But I actually really like that.

that's such a good idea. I mean, it's something that I think, like, I don't know, it'll, like, bond you as well and get excited for your big day. I will say, too, it's like right now there are so many, like, wedding planning tools, even like Pinterest, just having, like, a board and having all of your stuff on Pinterest. Like, I know you're doing that and that's great. And you obviously got me on to joy, like having a platform where it consolidates everything and you can go on and just be like, okay, like, this is the invite section.

This is the registry section. Because if not, like, I don't even know how I would organize all the different components. It's so true. It's just, yeah, having everything on one little platform is money. Woo-hoo. Okay. Good, good one. Moving on to the next one.

So this one is Angie from Chicago, and she needs advice on artistic idea for an artist to do her. You know what? Let's just listen to the voice now and let her explain. Hi. Caitlin. My name is Angie, and I live in Chicago, and I am getting married this summer. My question is, do you have any advice of something like cool and artistic that I can do for my wedding? So I'm an art teacher, and I'm good at art, but I can't think of anything fun and creative and artistic or something I can draw. So if you have an idea, let me know. Thanks. Bye.

Oh, that's sweet. She's an art teacher, I love. Oh, I wonder what her aura color is. Okay, if she's an artist, gosh, like, what about your favorite picture of her and her fiancé? And it's the entrance of her ceremony. Like, if she were to draw him or I guess them together. And then she can gift it for him. I don't know.

I'm trying to think she's an art teacher. Okay. Or maybe instead of a guest book, you could get everyone to, like, draw a little something and make an art picture out of it. Oh, that's so cute. I like that. That's a good one. I really like that. Yeah.

And it is so cool. Like, I think anything that you can think of to make it DIY would make it feel special. So, like, you know what? I feel like, let's put it back on you. You tell us you're the artist. Yeah. That would be like, because I'm like, oh, now I want to think of like some creative. of ways what you can like what you can do even something too like I don't know why I just thought of

you know there's your name tag or like what do you call them like the name on the tables and it'd be kind of cute to like if you were to personally have like draw something on all them so it's something that you I don't know how many people you have at your wedding it's like a big job I know I know I think she needs to make other people do the art like it's like a board when you come in that you like not just sign your name, but draw like something that means something to you and your friendship or something. I don't know. Okay, with that, maybe that was a leave it answer, but whatever. Let's leave that. Yeah, we're leaving it. Let's leave that. Let's move on to a wedding confession. One of the Vino's called in with a wedding confession, and I am eager to hear it.

Yeah, I have it up here, and I haven't listened to it yet, but I love it because the title is wedding booty cheeks. So let's see what is all about it. Hi, Caitlin. This is Tara. I am from Pennsylvania, and I have a confession for you. About five years ago, I was at my cousin's wedding in Montana, and all of my other cousins and family members were there, and I was wearing a pretty form-sitting, silver dress, and we were all doing the limbo. Somebody took off their tie and started the limbo in the dance floor. I was feeling good. I was feeling in the moment. I went for it. I was, I think I was winning. In my memory, I was winning. And little did I know during this that something had happened. So my cousins and I go back to our seats to get a drink, and I sit down, and it was a metal chair that all of a sudden I felt cold metal on my booty cheeks. So I, like, rubbed my hands underneath my dress to, like, flatten it out because I thought it was pulled up. But here, my dress had split up the whole way up to, like, my tailroad, and I had a thong on, and my bare butt cheeks were sitting on the chair. So that was terrible. I looked over to my cousin and I kind of sat forward and I'm like, you see what I see

and she's like, oh my gosh. And I'm like, did anyone see that on the hamclay during the window? And she's like, I didn't even notice. Maybe it ripsed during it and no one noticed. So luckily my aunt went to the hotel at the wedding was at and they had it sewing here at the front and we went to the bathroom. I took off the dred. She sewed it back up.

I danced cautiously the rest of the night. Well, after the wedding, there was an after party in the hotel. El Lobby, and I was sitting there with all my cousins, my parents, some aunts and uncles, and the wedding had a live band. Well, the lead guitarist of this band, he was probably like 50, 60 years old, and I was like 20-something at this time, he came over to our group, and he looked at me and he said, hey, you put on quite a show during the wedding or during the reception, and he winked, and I just about died. So I know so far, at least he saw my bare beauty cheeks.

And all of my family spoke up about this to this day. Every time we go to a wedding, everyone makes sure I'm not wearing something that'll risk during the limbo. But I thought you to enjoy my stories. I love you. I can't wait to someday. Hopefully see you on tour. Thanks for spreading cheer.

I listen to you every week. Bye. Oh, my gosh. That's freaking hilarious. First of all, what kind of limbo you doing? Because that should, like, if anything that maybe like rip a back, Like what that sounds like more of a squatting problem if you rip a big hole in your And also where was your family and friends if the six-year-old band guy was noticing it saying you put on a show

Why weren't your friends and family like dude your ass cheeks are showing? Oh my gosh that's more of the question here I was hoping the story was going to go that they ended up together you know I thought too had the lead guitarist but then as soon as she said his age I was like oh no I guess they did it and I was like that would have been a good story my gosh. Hey, are you going to do one while you're winning? No, that is so, I hate like typical shit. I hate like if, oh my gosh, I know we're already going to have to play, because that shout is your typical wedding song, but it's also the like Buffalo Bill song. So I already know I have to deal with that. But I hate anything that's like throwing the bouquet or doing a garter toss or cutting the cake, like all that to me. I'm like, yeah. I want, like, I just want everyone, I'd be having fun. Do you know what your first dance song will be? Like, you know what?

We have an idea. Oh, okay. Okay. You don't have to feel secret yet. Yeah. Wait, now that got me thinking, have you ever had something embarrassing happened to you at a wedding? Because we all know I will RIP the dance floor, tear it up, murder it.

You probably have had some embarrassing things happen, but you just didn't even know. Yeah. I bet you had, like you've had your dress ripped. No one told you. You went to bed and I did go to the bathroom once with a long dress on at a wedding. It was tucked in my underwear when I walked out, but I immediately noticed. So that could have been bad. Could have been.

No, I can't think of anything. Okay. Well, you? I'm really trying to think. And I've been to my fair share of weddings, but no. My favorite thing at a wedding is when people, And this isn't embarrassing, but just thinking about it is when people jump in the pool at the end of the night. I love that.

Oh, that's, we did that at Mike and Chana's wedding. And it was everything. That wasn't embarrassing for me, but I remember it was Mike. So this is our friend Mike's dad. There ended up being like 20 of us in the haunt tub. And this one girl decided to just take off her shirt. It was just in her bra. And I was like, oh, my God.

Like the dad is in her bra. I'm not in front of kids. And he was having the time of his life. He's loving it. I wish I had something better than that, but I don't. Well, why don't we go into the wedding hypotheticals for us then? Okay. You know.

I love a house of it down for me. Yes. Galen, how do you proceed if your soon-to-be husband, aka Jason, calls you the name of his ex during your I dudes? Like Ross and Rachel. Yeah. I would say, wow, that name has not come up in the three and a half years. I've known you. Are you sure? Are you okay? Or are you just having a moment? I honestly would be like, wow, you just humiliated me in front of all my friends and family. There is only a way up from here. It can only get better. We're starting low. Yeah, the bar is now in hell. Let's go. good answer oh my god

Jason would be I could just imagine Jason's like his whole color of his face would just be drained oh my God he would he would freak out

and I would be like now you owe me I would hold it against a passive aggressive day one of being married it's better than leaving him yeah no it's 100% that's actually very nice of you

yeah you get a call that your mom isn't going to be able to make it because of like cancellation. What do you do? We cancel the wedding. Done.

We say, sorry, everybody. We'll have a small ceremony in our backyard tomorrow because I'm, my mom is not missing my wedding. No. Can you imagine? No, I would do the same. Like you just have to. I even made this up.

Did you, we're not putting that out into the universe. No, you know what? I'm taking a bag. It's okay. We set it up with it as being hypothetical. So, okay. Next one. Okay, so you're on your way to Vegas and you're made of honor gets in trouble

on a plane. and gets her she gets it so that everyone gets sent home kind of like a little bit like a bridesmaid but they actually turn the fight back yeah what movies are from first of all oh no just said it yes rides made i knew i know like how mad would you be so let's say brie gets absolutely annihilated and then everyone has to go home i would be super pissed and disappointed and i would say you better re-plan this whole thing and you have to take care of my whole work schedule, you have to get a dog sitter, you have to do all of the things that I would have to do to go on a trip again and you will re-plan everything and also you're not invited.

You have lost your maid of honor duties. Also, you're not coming anymore, okay? Stay home on the one of the one. You know, good thing is I don't think we will have to worry with that. But, Bree, please do not drink the night before. Even if she does, I love a drunk, free. Yeah, no, for sure. Okay, so, you know, your dream venue that you're looking at in Nashville, they got the date, it works. And then all of a sudden, they're like, no, you can't have, you can't have an open bar.

There's no liquor in this venue. How do you proceed? I would have edibles on hand for everybody. I would also just tell everyone, go out, buy a flask, fill it with your favorite alcohol, sneak it in, and don't tell anyone and I would do the same. That's brilliant. Of course. Okay, I like that. You're walking down the aisle and your dress rips up the back. Let's say we're reliving our Emmys. Yes. Emmy's day when you're just ripped. If my dress ripped, I would, I would just like, I think I would laugh. I don't think I'd care. I think I would just laugh and be like, ha, this is going to make for a great Instagram story.

And then I would feel terrible because whoever made my dress would feel terrible. Okay. So everyone gets a plus one for your wedding. And what happens if one of your friends comes and ends up bringing Sean? I would really die laughing if he decided to come. I would be like, you know what? Let's just party, man. Bring your dog

Bygones be bygones Yeah I'm not letting this ruin my day Bring a dog, let's go Okay well I'm so excited I get to see you in what Two days Two days

I'll be landing pretty much right now Okay She started packing Yeah well you get packing But you don't need a lot Because I have everything here That's true And I promise not to bring

It's hilarious I guess I started packing And I was like No wait Caitlin has this And I was like All over the Oh, no, Kewan has this.

I'm like, we always read the same thing. We have the same thing. And we have the same shoe size. So we always share those Dolche Vita shoes because they're both our favorites. I'll just wear yours. I don't have to bring mine. Because you, every time you pack, you bring the same shoes. And I'm like, I literally have those in my closet as in the same size.

You can just wear those. Like, shoes take up the most space ever. I love it. Okay, I'll wear your Dolceivitas and I'll use your Dyson. And then really, what else? Oh, wow. I'll just go with my backpack. I love visiting you. I love it. Okay. Caitlin's like, oh, God, you or she takes all my stuff. No, no, no, no. I love it. What's mine is yours. Let's just give everybody a little friendly reminder to keep on calling or texting. I am still listening. I love all your voicemails and text. It's amazing. I love praying calling. I love giving you advice. So 434-6-9-6-8-4-66 and share it with your friends, okay? I'll give anyone advice. It doesn't even matter.

if it's wow I think my edible just hit I just realized now because I was like ooh my postmates should be here right away and I was like I'm angry and I was like oh lost my train in the thought and I'm high it takes so long to hit

I took it like an hour ago what the hell I love it because Kaelan's supposed to be rapping at the podcast and just like where's my postmates going? Well I think now a great time to wrap it up. I mean, it would probably be a great time to make some more

prank calls, but we're going to end it there. And I'll see you there, or I will see you at another time. That's a Paul Rudd line from, I got to go. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday, and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV? Stream the biggest movies and TV shows for free on Pluto TV. Watch movies like Titanic and G.I. Joe, The Rise of Cobra, plus TV shows like CSI and Star Trek

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