Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Best of Jaitlyn

Episode Date: October 24, 2019

Today, Kaitlyn wishes the happiest of Birthdays to her boyfriend Jason Tartick! In celebration of him and their time together here are some of the many fun moments they've shared on the podcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario he's on with o tv podcast one presents off the vine grape therapy kately bristow's going to answer your questions drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything bachelor let's shake it up some more here's katelyn welcome to grape therapy i'm your host katelym bristow your session is about to start but we're going to make the this a special grape therapy episode because it is Jason Michael Tardick's 31st birthday and we met

a year ago and one day and I thought we would do some throwbacks and my favorite podcast moments of Jason Tardick. Happy birthday. When I did a podcast with him, I left and I went, whoever dates that guy is so lucky. So let's introduce my fucking boyfriend. Let's go, let's go, just for Jason's heart right now. Can we all go, eh, eh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's go Buffalo. Let's go Buffalo. What is the rest? The bills make me want to shout.

Woo! It is good to be back in New York. Wow. God. I miss the East Coast. Wow. You are New York. Oh, my God.

It is good to be back. Hey, when I first met you, I was like, that guy's way too New York for me. When I just landed, I took the taxi in. I'm like, God damn, it's good to be back in New York. I see some hair gel in these guys. People are drinking. Life is good again. Because it's not like that in the West Coast.

He feels so comfortable in a blazer here. I always make fun of it. I'm like so West Coast because I lived in Vancouver for so long that I'm like, why aren't you in just Lulu's and like a backwards hat and like a little sweater? And you're like, no, blazers and gel. Because he's Buffalo. Is that a thing? Well, the thing is so I had a job in New York and then I moved to Seattle and I show up, you know,

suit, corporate banker, red tie. in like casual athletic yeah and they're like what the hell is this thing yeah like go change go to this guy get a load of this guy must be for buffalo 2.0 let's go well you i mean seattle's right by vancouver it's like the biggest at leisure area of the world like everyone's just so comfortable is that where uh lulu lemon's headquarter in Vancouver I thought it was like an upper east side thing in new york doesn't matter because we like Reebok anyway Everyone's like, what are you talking about? First of all, cheers, everybody.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers to you, my lovely little man. What a beauty you are. I'm so glad to have you as my guest. How lucky am I? How lucky am I, guys? Are you kidding me?

Talking about a guy who out kicked his coverage. Holy hell. And now here's where we will hear the louder woo's. How lucky am I? Oh my God, who's luckier? We're so hashtag blessed. Puk. No, you guys like it.

Oh, you say burf, but I say puke. Burf. I know you don't have a type, but like what qualities do you look for in a girl? So I like someone that's like sassy, independent, strong-willed, funny, can like hold their own and just be like really strong. They're not dependent on anybody. Yeah. And then just someone that's, like, self-motivated. I don't care what it is.

I don't care if it's a direction, a passion, a job, a mission, whatever. But someone that, like, wakes up every day and, like, I'm going to crush this day because of this. Yeah. So, and then someone that, like, I'm, like, I'm, like, a kind of a strong world person. And I'm, I always, like, if I'm, if I'm waiting in a line at a restaurant or I'm doing so, I always want to, like, take control. I'm, like, loud and I'm in charge. And, like, someone that could challenge me and just be like, shut the fuck up. And I think, again, my dad and I are very similar.

and when I look at my mother and I see the way their relationship is like that's how it works it's a 50-50 relationship that's what I'm looking for so that's what I'm attracted to too yeah that makes sense

like if you have the beautiful girl head to toe a beautiful model and there's no thank you take it gone bye I don't take it for like two weeks I won't actually

some people will I won't he won't do it to me that's like I mean I just feel like that's a younger 20 guy kind of thing you know like that's fun to have the hot girl but at the end of the day

like, come on, there's more to life than love. Hey, so do you guys ever buy something online and then find out you could have gotten it for less? It's worse than when the waiter tells you to enjoy your food and you're like, yeah, you too. Awkward. Not to mention that once it happens, you feel like you could be overpaying every time you shop. And luckily, I have Honey, the free browser extension that saves you time and money when shopping online. Honey scans the internet for coupon codes and other discounts. Then like magic, it automatically applies the one with the biggest savings to your car to check.

it knows just about every coupon code sale discount code knows it all just shop like normal and honey finds you savings and believe me it does feel amazing like when you actually see your food coming over to you at a restaurant that is an amazing feeling i was buying a pair of sweats the other day because you know i got to get my lounge on and i was at checkout honey swooped in save me 17 bucks even though i know it was honey that saved me the money i still felt pretty darn proud of myself there's really no reason at all to not use honey it's free to use installs on your computer with just two clicks get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash vine that's joinhoney dot com slash vine I will say out there you know one thing can I take a quick time out

with a like when we so now living together we have we have a lot more conversations if you will but then than normal because we when we have issues no what I mean by that is when we have issues we just put it all on the table so you know obviously living together you have to learn like how you're accustomed to things but I think a cool thing we learn is when we open Pandora's box, we have these discussions. We usually have like one word we take away where we'll say the word. And it brings back the memory to the conversation.

We're like, oh, okay, you're right. Yeah. Got to work on that. And it reminded me because he said, I have no idea how we're coming full circle here. But you said, what do you call that again? And I said, holy. Toledo's false. What is that?

It reminds me of our like saying. Weird lingo or weird. We have like a dictionary between the Jatlin Dictionary. Holy Toledo and cheeseballs. And also what else do we say? What did I say to you today? I'll think of it. I'll think of it.

Okay, another true or false. The national dog of America was declared to be a brown Labrador. True. False. I'm really on fire here. The average American consumes two hours of reality television per day. Per day?

The average American? If this is true, I'm disgusted. It's not. False. Just Mondays. Americans eat about 100 acres of pizza each day.

A hundred acres? A hundred acres. A pizza per day? Oh, stop yelling at me, man. Oh, oh, oh, oh, in total. You're saying like, chill up, bro. Just because your 4th of July is a little off, sleeping in a stranger things. I'm going to say in total.

So I think you're saying like, as a. a country so let's say true yes true the highest consumption of any beverage in america is milk did i say it right milk it's spelled m i l k milk say pasta no okay just answer the question true false is it h2 o remember the time when we first met and i did buffalo or bluffalo game that was so good that was good um was that was that true false um the last question false do you know what the answer is soda no way really no i don't know i don't know i don't know but it's water i actually don't you know what i probably should have found out the actual answers for these yeah so that i could back it up with something okay keep going the people

out there listen and want to play along i know okay well that's it that was my true or false game That was it. Well, you go to three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine questions. I mean, nine true or false. How do you think Drew Carey became the host of Price's Right? That's what you're thinking about right now. Well, I'm thinking what game was better? Price is Right or this.

In Price's, our Price's Right game was cooler than the true or false game. And I'm like, wow, Bob Barker's the freaking man. And I'm like, how the fuck did Drew Carey get that job? I agree. I mean. Like, what the hell? You know, it's because nobody could have replaced Bob Barker. Nobody.

So, Drew Carey is an odd choice. I think when Chris Harrison's like 80 years old. Oh, he doesn't age. He should take that over. That's a great call. We'll put in an application tomorrow. But it's got to be contingent on the fact Chris is 75. That's actually really funny because he would be a great host for that.

Drew Carey is an odd choice, but that was the funniest part of all of that is that that's what was on your brain there. I saw you stare off into the distance and I was like, what's he thinking about? And you said, how the f***ed it, Drew Carey? I'm in a weird mental state right now. Okay. What else you think about? I don't know. Come on.

I don't know. Why does my face get red when I drink red wine? Oh, you're allergic. This is a problem. I'm not quitting. Yeah, I don't think I could date you if you were. Just kidding. I'm just kidding.

But that's the problem Well, I'm not going to lie At the last podcast I did crowd surf And I think I blacked out Oh boy This is what happens I work I go the morning

I work out I go back to work I see videos of her Crowdsurfing part I'm like Jesus Christ I got my MBA I'm getting my ass kicked And she's living the dream

First of all I think it's so hot That you work I think it's so hot that you crowd surf like Freddie Mercury. Hey, what song did I crowd surf to? It's a party in the USA. Yeah.

It was pretty epic. Honestly, Brandy playing party in the USA. I just literally, I didn't even think twice. I just went like this. And then I fell backwards. And I was like, let the vinos take me where I need to go. Which, by the way, was only the VIP Vinoes. So it was like 20 of this.

And it was like I really trusted them because I don't know how I did it like I just kind of lean back and then I realized after I'm like oh wait That's not everybody in the crowd. There's like a small group and I could have easily died so it helps that you weigh 98 pounds I got that going for you now. Oh my god I took with a doctor I mean you the thing is is you say that but I've seen you eat you eat oh holy hell it's actually it's amazing and And I poop, too. Let me tell you that. She toots, she poops, she eats, and we all know she drinks, so. The other day, Jason walked in on me like this.

I did this at the last podcast, but I don't care. I'll repeat my content, because it's true. He walked it on me like this. What are you doing down there? Okay, which is what you said, and I said tooting. If anyone needs to know of a good way to get rid of bloating, you just sit like that and let the air come out, okay? And she wonders why I can't come up with confessions. I see her bending over and she's two of them.

I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck else would I say? This is a confession in his self. Jason took David, how long? Three hours today to try and think of a confession. I'm like, oh, you just can't think of anything you did wrong. Like nothing. He's like, I don't know.

No detentions in high school, no suspension, or nothing. I mean, I don't know what to say. Not even lunch detention. And then I even went there and I was like, what about with girls? Like, tell me something about what happened with girls. And then he told me one thing. And I was like, no, tell me that. I don't want to hear it.

it god we'll be right back with more austavine grape therapy this is austa vine grape therapy Peyton richie asked is Jason do anything that drives you crazy like any pet peeves and I don't want to just sit here and like complain about certain things about him because I'm really like grasping at straws to find things that really bother me about him and they're all just small things so I called him and asked what bothers me about him so that it could be even so what I came up with was him in photo shoots because I've been doing photo shoots for so long he's like I'm so new to this photo shoot world like what am I doing he he'll tell me what to do in photo shoots he's like okay fake laugh now look at me no look at me babe look over here okay don't and I'm like

are you really directing me in a photo shoot again these are all really silly small things But another thing is that he only sings two songs, okay? Every single day, day in, day out, I would say at least eight or ten or twenty times a day. He will sing either I'm dreaming of a white Christmas or fly me to the moon by Frank Sinatra. Now, two great songs. I'll give him that. But every single day for the last like seven months that I've been with him. It's like, I'm like, do you have?

any other songs that come into your head it's in the shower it's when he gets out of the shower it's when he's shaving it's when he's cooking it's when he's working out it's when we're watching tv it's when we're going to bed it's when we're brushing our teeth he'll just be like um boom boom dreaming of a white or fly me to the moon and sometimes he doesn't know actually 98% of times he doesn't know lyrics to songs and i'm like if you're gonna sing the same two songs every day all day just figure out the lyrics okay again i'm being nip picky uh i think also we're we're working out uh different things and how we live differently and i take a lot of pride in this house and i paid for this house and i've put a lot of work into it and he makes lists

everywhere now i love a good list i love crossing things off the list but there's lists everywhere all over the house and it's all things that it's like i wish there is list that said like wow you did such a great job on this part of the house and wow it's so great that you like have this house but it's list as like i mean anything from the air filter changing it to tightening screws on the freaking i don't even know what it's called banister coming up the stairs to the house and so i'm like okay yeah so many lists okay so here's what jason said about me he says the biggest pet peeve with me is i'm a backseat driver which i will say i am but only in my own car so when he's driving my jeep and he's

like speeding or slamming on the brakes or really like revving the engine and you know stuff like i'm like hey oh don't do that oh don't do i yeah i am a backseat driver with him in my jeep so i will work on that but I'm curious to see how it is when he gets his own vehicle because right now we're just sharing mine and we don't live like in a place where things are walkable so he's always needing my car and when we do drive if he does I am a little bit I don't know I guess I'm a little bit controlling over my Jeep but I will say I shouldn't be defensive yes I am a backseat driver he also says me with micromanaging the house but he agreed that we both do in our own ways and I said well babe you know it is my house and I I'm happy to share it with you

but I'm trying to think of certain little things like he really doesn't like pet hair on the bed where I'm like I don't care I want ramen just all up in my grill at all times anyhow next question I feel like I spent a little too much time on that one you had a little toot at the golf course and it was hilarious It was so funny. Oh, man. So we were golfing and we were just at the driving range. And I actually thought it was so funny because your reaction was funny.

Big drive. And I did, you put the ball down. I put the ball down. And I was set up and I was ready to swing away. And then all of a sudden a duck came by. You know when you think it's going to be like a silencer P-P-7 and it's just like, you know, James Bond 2000 for Nintendo 64 of course and then it just it just came you know just flew out of there I just like looked up because there's other people in the

driving range and driving ranges are quite quiet what you do in situations like that let me tell you tell us Jason Fartick own it you just you own it you want you get up you walk away you say the people next to you apologies apology maybe say it like Canadian because people are so nice in Canada. Apologies. Apologies. Didn't see that coming. And then they laugh.

You laugh. You share a moment. You bond and you move on. It was funny because the guy next was had headphones on. So you were lucky there. But you just walked away like. I just started dying laughing. That's pretty funny.

It was hilarious. Yeah. Okay, wait. We're calling. You're a big silencer, P.7. My toots are never loud. I always, whenever, you know when you do an interview or you do something and you just know that's going to be the headline?

Yeah. Um, so my team puts together my video clips for... Very relatable. I've been out there's like, yeah, I know every time I talk. I was saying that to you, but now... I learned that the hard way. Cleo and the team who puts together these, these clips for the, for Instagram. I'm like, oh, great, that's going to be the one they use.

Yeah, my toots are silent. Uh, okay, wait. Bum, bum, bum, I'm bum, bum, dreaming bum, bubble one. Bum, bum, bum, Christmas, just like the one I used to know. Bum, bum, bum. How can we always get into Christmas music? What's your favorite Fourth of July song?

Pottie in the U.S. Miley. Oh, let's talk about that after. Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message. When will people learn? Hi, Kate. It's Kate Lynn Bristow. And Jason.

And Jason fartic. Oh, God, I'm not going to go. Anyways, we were calling you. You're a sick bastard. We were calling you to hear your story about fireworks and pee, but... Well, we respect the fact you didn't pick up on 4th of July. Because if you picked up on 4th of July, you're not a true vinyl because I think Vino should be partying their ass off on 4th of July. Okay, that's fair. That's fair.

Maybe we'll try you again at the end just in case you get to hear this message and then you're like, damn it, I should have picked up. Okay, love you, bye. Okay, wait, that's what I wanted to do is talk this 4th of July I'm actually going to remember. What do you mean? Oh, last you didn't. Can we take a TV time off for a little wine? You're going to get a little wine? Okay. You know what?

I'm going to tell them a story while you're gone. Tell them. Sing them a song. you're the piano man sing tell us a karaoke tonight okay is there a karaoke in Nashville yeah there's one down the street where nobody goes to and just fire it up okay um okay so this is one of my favorite things about jason today we were we just had all the right intentions to like get some whatever workout in and i was like okay well we just do a podcast with me quick because i love our our banter i love any podcasts with me

We just do one really quick and then you can go for a run or we can go for a run around the block or whatever. And then he's like, okay, I'll have a LeCroix and you have a glass wine. I was like, okay. And then I pull out a bottle of spade and sparrows, red wine. And he goes, you really expect me to go do a podcast with you when you whip out my favorite red wine and go work out after. I was like, that's why I did this.

I lured you in with the spade and sparrows. And so here we are drinking red wine. I sucked him in. That's my favorite thing about you is that you just, you know, you're just always down for a good time. But I'm not, I am not going on the road tomorrow until I get a workout in. Yeah, I know. Okay. Well, we should podcast from the road and see, uh, do a road trip podcast.

Oh, a little road trip body, yeah. Okay, so I wanted to, this, this one I'm going to remember this, this 4th of July. Last 4th of July, I was in a very different place, okay? A lot has happened in a year. I, uh, went to, everybody knows this because I did a podcast about it, but I went to Miley Cyrus's fourth, fourth of July party. um we all know that she knows how to have a good time and i you know was drinking jello shots i was drinking through the day pool party and then at night little party favors of a little weed

never heard anybody until it hurt me when i didn't over when i overdid my front flip into the water and and i was just like on fire that night i was on fire and i recovered for at least five days after it was really a doozy so now i'm just you know this is a very very tame nice glass of wine like I'm going to remember this one there's so many times in a day Caitlin tells a story or does something I'm just I only have one response what's my response savage all right we have a very special segment to share today with our listeners one of our awesome sponsors thinks wanted to take some time to talk further about their product and brands So I'm very excited to be chatting with Alice Warren, who is director of customer experience at Thinks,

and Hillary Fisher-Grobin, who is brand director at Things. And thank you both for taking the time to talk to me. Thank you so much for having us. Thank you so much for you, this is great. Of course. So I have a few questions I wanted to talk with you about, and I've also got a few questions from fans. So let's jump right into it. How has Things overcome the stigma that often goes along with discussing periods?

And how can women help to overcome the stigma when talking about their periods? Thank you so much. That is a great question. There have been no innovations in periods since 1937, but half the world gets a period. So at Things, we really started thinking, why is this topic that affects so many people so shrouded in secrecy and shame? So when we launched Thinks in 2015, we really set out on a mission to empower everybody through innovation and social change. We really feel that the best way to do this is to talk about it, to start conversations.

We think that this stigma will lift when we're ready for it. And when we're ready for a change, we have a company motto that it's about time, that it's really about time for a change and for better solutions and for people to get comfortable. So we really feel that opening the door for people to be comfortable with their own bodies with themselves first, and then hopefully that will inform society and hopefully bring better solutions to the market and to those of us who just want a more comfortable option. Yeah, I love that. I talk about it on my podcast often, actually, about how there's such a stigma around talking about it, and I don't understand.

So I love that you guys are doing this. And we have a question from Erica in California. She's wondering, how does things underwear work? Like, what's the actual science behind it? Yes, so, you know, we're period-proof underwear. Our goal is to provide underwear that women can wear at any time in their cycle. So the science behind it is really in the technology of the guts. As Hillary touched on, we really want to provide innovative solutions for our customers.

So we really, our product team does an amazing job kind of innovating the look and the feel of, you know, our underwear. And then also kind of innovating in the function of our underwear as well. So in the Gusset, we have a three-layer technology that includes an odor blocking layer and an absorbing layer and a more streaking layer that keeps you feeling dry throughout your, start wearing the product. And what we love about the underwear is that it also, it looks and feels like everyday underwear. It's super cute. we have a ton of styles, we have different absorbancies, so whatever you're into and whatever your flow is, whether it's light or heavy, we have an option for you. Yeah, that's great.

They are super cute. I have a pair. And then that kind of plays into our next fan question from Rachel, who asks, how do you know when to change your things to underwear? Like how much is four tampons worth of time? Yeah, this is a great question. And when I saw this question, I thought about all of our customers. who, you know, have the same question and wonder about the same thing.

I really, we really recommended that our customers try our know-your-flow tool. It's something that we've made available now in our website. And it's really simple. You put in your email address. You put in your usual period routine, how many tampons you use. And from it, it does a couple of calculations, which I'm sure our devs can talk about. But afterwards, it throws out, you know, styles and that might work for you from our line. So that if you have a heavy flow, we might recommend our superfluing.

absorbency. If you have a lighter flow, you could use some of our lighter observancy products like the song or the cheeky. So that's a good place for women to start just to get an idea of how much, you know, they menstruate during their cycle and then, you know, what product would work best for them. And now I wanted to kind of pivot more towards the design aspect of things, because like I said, they are really cute. And how do you balance function and fashion when you're designing that product? That's a great question. Like Hillary mentioned, we really want everyone to be excited about the underwear, not only the function of it, but also the look. You know, we wanted to blend in with your other beautiful underwear in your drawer.

We want it to almost be the only underwear you would need because it fits the purpose of looking great. And but then it also, you can wear it on your period or outside your period. So our product team does an amazing job making the underwear comfortable so that you can wear it even outside, you know, your period. But they also do a great job in listening to our customers, you know, figuring out what styles they like, figuring out what patterns they would. what colors are they interested in? And so our merch team and our product team is constantly thinking about those things and making sure that the underwear we're putting out there in the market is fun for the customer to wear as well. Awesome.

And what are some of your most popular products? Any new products or designs that people can look forward to? Yes. Sure. So I would say some of the most popular products, if you're looking for one to start with, we usually recommend the hip-hugger. We have it in a moderate absorbency and a super absorbency, so you can try either two tampons worth or four tampons worth. It's full coverage.

It gives you that security if you're a little unsure. And then from there, there's so much fun to be had. I think I will say in our office with our team, the high waist is a fan favorite. It's really, it has more of a sexy energy. It has mesh panels on the side. gives you a little hug. That's really one that I personally love. People have so many different preferences.

A lot of folks love our cotton line. If you're more of a cotton underwear person, that's great for that usage and comes in a breathe, comes in a thong. And for upcoming styles and products, I can't spill too much, but we have so much fun coming up. We have, even in 2019, a few really exciting products coming out, and 2020 is just full of colors and styles. So the best thing to do is sign up for our emails and follow us on social. We'll post lots of teasers and exciting announcements coming up.

Okay, I can't wait for that. And our last question is from Jackie in Nebraska, and she's wondering if Stinks is available in any retail stores or any plans for that. We are in retail stores. We are in boutiques near you, and we are in some department stores. The best thing to do is check out on our website. We have a store locator so you can find where you can buy things to you. And if it's not there, go in and request it at your local lingerie store, for sure.

I will also say in New York, if you're in New York City, we have a pop-up launching at the end of October on the 28th. So please come stop by. say hi and touch and feel, look at the product. Oh, that's amazing. Well, thank you both so much for all this information. I know our listeners are going to enjoy learning more about things. And don't forget that things is offering our listeners an awesome discount. So be sure to visit periodbetter.com and use our special code vines to get $10 off your first pair.

We'll be right back with more off the vine, great therapy. All right. As always, a big thank you for listening to the show. show my vinos, we'd like to ask a small but very important favor of you. It'll only take a few minutes and you're one of the first people to do it, really. Podcast One will make it worth your time. Literally, we need you to complete a short survey because the information you give us can help make things better for the show and for you as a listener. So go to podcast.1.com slash survey and everything will be right there for you. It's podcast.1.com slash survey. The first 250 people

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I'm sick of this. He's going to keep deflecting. I don't, no, no, I'll confess something. That's a funny story. I mean, I got a lot of confessions. I was debating when you told me about a confession. I'm like, oh, I got some good ones. I'll leave that.

I got a really, really good one. Okay. It's going to entice you to come. I need to go on again. Okay. Come on again. Okay. This one's still pretty good.

Okay. So I'm not going to say where I was, but I was with a bunch of guys. and I had a buddy of mine who had just gone through a tough breakup. And we talked a lot about friends family. You were in Vegas with Blake who just went through the old. Okay. Go on. Actually, no, but let's pretend that. So we go through a breakup.

And again, family, friends, everything, I don't care who you are where you've been. If you are tight to me, you are tight to me, go through a tough breakup. You got a guy crying on your shoulder. You will do anything for him. And I'm like, we're going to do something for him. We rally the troops and we're like, we're going to show this guy a great freaking time. So we go to a basketball game, and I'm not going to say if it's pro or college. I might give away the city, but it was not in my hometown. It was not my hometown.

And we got there early. We got a ride up. We got drinks. We're feeling good. The boys are doing well. So we have time to get there. So we have a little time early. I'm like, well, I googled a couple things, you know, trying to put a smile in his face. And there's a strip club, not too far away. And I will put this on the record. I am not a strip club guy. And especially after this, but I've never been a strip club guy. I don't like him. I don't believe in it. I really don't. But when I got, I'm anti-strip club. I've gone on so many podcasts saying that and I'll do it again.

But anyway, I'm like, this dude broke up. He needs the, like, we need to get him going. So we get to the strip club. Well, I didn't know. It's this strip that's like this famous. Everyone's there. It's a place to be. There's a laundry. And I don't know if it's because of the basketball game. There's a laundry list of dudes in line. I'm like, and that's my biggest pet.

I don't do lines. lines. I'll do anything to get out. I will tell someone anything. I'm Jason. Artique. I will tell him. I am Andrew Keegan. Let me hear in this park. I've done that. I've done that. I've done that. You name it. I've done it. Actually, I asked. Someone has asked if I'm

Andrew Keegan one time I told them once. Anyway, moving on. Moving on. I was in college. Yeah. Anyway, so this is like young 20, so I'm like, all right, I'm not doing this line. We walk right up. And you're going to appreciate this. Okay. because I played hockey

and got the Canadian accent I'm not going to say what side of this city you're on. You're in Montreal. And I was, I'm not going to say, no, I was in America. Okay. And then the guys I'm with, they're pretty big built dudes. Okay.

Hey, bud, you know, not really used to like waiting in line for this. He's like, well, what are you talking about? I'm like, actually, my boys and I were strippers back home. Oh, stop. Oh, yeah. I did not see that one coming.

I was like, yeah. They're going to say hockey players. I know. They're a strippers back home in Canada. We were just trying to come in because we're going to the basketball game. And, you know, I thought he's out of a rough goal, you know, just giving it. You sound so good a. Give it a shot.

But I'm not going to, you know, we can just leave. We're not going to wait in this line. So I'm like, I'm like, boys just follow me. So we start turning away. I was like, no, no, come back. Come back. I'm going to what's up? It's like, we'll take care of you.

We appreciate that. You know, we only have like 45 minutes or so. But thanks again, you know, appreciate it. My boys are. They're like, what is going on? I'm like, just shut the fucking full of me. So we go, and I think, okay, great. We skip the line.

We're going to get some drinks. We'll have a shot or two. My boy will get to see everything he needs with a smile at his face. We've got a basketball game. We'll put some bets on and have some beers. Goes home, sleep, smiles. Great. Well, he's like, well, no, no, no.

We didn't have to pay. They made you up. Go up on stage. They put us in this area. They put us in this area. Oh, the private area where they dance are naked. No, no. They're like, hey, we want you to have some shit.

champagne and here's some drinks. You guys are good. Now I'm like, oh, shit. This is not good. Like, it's great. We skip the landing and pay cover. Now we're getting drinks. This is not good.

Because the guy's still at this point don't know what happened. So I fill them in. I'm like, all right, boys. As you know, through the Canadian accident, no, I wasn't a hockey player. Yes, we are strippers. Yeah.

They're literally dying. They're like, no way, no way, no way. So I'm like, just like pony up. We still have 30 minutes before the game. I don't know what's going to. to happen if we have more than happy to pay for these bottles i don't know what's going to happen but we have champagne and some drinks the guy comes over and gives us the old uh we're like a little bit behind would you guys mind you know you know warming up the crowd i'm like what do you mean

warming up the crowd there's it's a it's a strip club there's met oh there's a couple bachelorette parties here oh my please tell me you did this was like magic mic part so naturally i have we had to a smile on my buddy's face moreover and I'm the I'm like give me the mic I'm a mic guy right so I'll be like ladies and gentlemen get a cool coming in six for one with a huge piece from Buffalo New York anyway so I took the mic and two of my buddies we just down a couple drinks the boys get out they start dancing shirts are coming off I will say not everything came off we did well it's all flying you know I know these guys guys are going to listen. We have like

so not told so many of these and these guys are going to listen. They're going to die laughing. But long story short, we brought the heat. We got the energy going. We kept majority of our clothes out. We had a great time doing it. It sounds fun. But what does majority mean? Like how like, because usually stripper

meals, strippers, boxers. One of the guys. Brief, whatever you choose, I'm a brief guy. I'm a brief guy. One of the guys. Is anybody a boxers guy? Is anybody a boxer's guy anymore? Sleeping in boxers. This guy, this guy had tidy white he's in yeah that's amazing

he just went down to the I didn't go down but it was a good story and there's no photos because you can't take photos zero photos that's the genius part about it that's good

that's the genius part about it oh no I got if you want to do it I'll bring the three guys on we can justify this although more than half might not be single

so I don't know that they'd be down that's funny that's a good one it was a good one This is what's funny about Jason and myself is that you're very like, like I'm obviously a weirdo, open book, talk about anything. Plus, I'm like, I have my vinoes, so I'm like, you guys are like, you get me? Where if this was a room of dudes who didn't get me, I'd be Jason.

I would, I'd be like, oh, no, no, you have your vinos who are like, yeah, go rage. I have my mother who's like, what the fuck? were you doing last night. Get a load of this bad bitch energy on this guy's wrist. Like, just... Let's go. Rocking a bright pink scrunchy.

I love you. I think... Elbaum... Can you stop being so public with our relationship? That's disgusting. How dare you date a guy and put it on social media? That's gross.

Really this quick? Oh, my God. Are you the devil? How dare you find happiness in this world? You need to be negative. Ugh. Gross. I just looked at the mic.

Disgusting. Kailin and I, I'm like, you know, things are moving in the right direction. We're going to work on citizenship, shit like that, but we'll figure that out down the road. Do you know where New York is? Okay, babe, here we go. I love New Jersey.

I look like I should be on Jersey Shore. love New Jersey. Home of Frank Sinatra. Hey, just, hey, take a back seat for a second. Here's the map of Canada. Point out Alberta. Okay, first of all, Alberta is not a providence, a province. West Coast, west coast, next to BC to the right. That's because I f***ing prepped you on that.

Well, thank you. Point to me, point to me where Manitoba is. Well, yeah, Manitoba, not far to the right, not far to the left, right down the middle. it's good how about Ontario you want to go there too do you want to know why he knows this is because he made so much fun

of me for not knowing where states were that he studied the Canadian map just so I couldn't call him out on this and and I might say did you guys ever learn in school where things were in Canada well we did about America

and I forgot well you know what and I've been studying and I got 90 86% on my test and I now know where New York is on the map. That's awesome. Let's go. That's awesome. That was such a weak cheer because you guys are like, that's embarrassing.

You suck. But you are a West coaster that has a New York attitude. Like, you're just like, oh. Do I do I have a New York? Is that the New York attitude? Just like, oh, I think I was like, I think I'm an honorary New Yorker.

You are. I think you are. It's not easy. to be a New Yorker or the West Coast. It's also not easy to be a Canadian saying that you're a New Yorker because we're like the most polite people in the world. Yeah. You're like, oh, sorry, sorry. You, but sorry

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