Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Blake Moynes Talks Breakups, BIP & Being Bold in Bed

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

After three consecutive Bachelorette seasons (Clare Crawley, Tayshia Adams, and Katie Thurston), we were all a little surprised to see Blake Moynes back on our TV screens for Bachelor in Paradise. And he's back on the pod to unpack his experience with fellow Canadian, friend, and your favorite podcast host, Kaitlyn Bristowe. Everything from why he decided to head down to the beach to how he is feeling now to how he felt talking to Katie for the first time in two years. Plus, Kaitlyn asks him everyone's burning question – Did Katie really call him 'Daddy'? But she doesn't just care about the Bachelor stuff, so he shares more about his work with wildlife and why he would rather go on 'Naked and Afraid' than another reality dating show. To wrap it up, Blake provides a very embarrassing and gross confession that he hopes people can relate to. We sure love an honest King. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: PELOTON — For Peloton’s best offer of the season, head to OnePeloton.com/deals . All access membership separate. Terms apply. CUROLOGY — You can get up to 6 skincare products FREE when you go to Curology.com/VINE.  LIVING PROOF — Go to LivingProof.com/VINE and use the code VI NE to get 15% off your next purchase.  DRAFT KINGS — Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW and sign up with promo code VINE and play $5 to get $100 in casino credits.  Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.1800gambler.net. In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. 21+. Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. Eligibility and deposit restrictions apply. One per opted-in new customer. $5 wager required. Max. $100 in Casino Credit awarded which require 1x play-thru within 7 days. Terms at casino.draftkings.com/holidays on the house. Restrictions apply. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. and why it's therapy? Everybody, welcome to grape therapy, coming to you from Ireland, from Dublin, Dublin. Blake has a great confession on this podcast today. Blake Moynes talk about walls being too close and having to go to the bathroom. I just pretty much gave it away, but we talk about Jess. we talk about Katie we talk about what's going on in his life is he dating now what is he looking

for would he be the bachelor there's so many things just always a great chat with a fellow Canadian Blake Moynes how are you what's new I'm good uh lot I mean lots is new there's always new things on the docket but it's honestly just mostly wildlife related stuff so nothing nothing outside of that realm too much to be honest well tell me about in that realm I'm interested I don't only care about you for your bachelor shit I want to hear about what's going on in your real life well I leave in three days. I go to the Amazon for about a month. Then I'm like deep in the Amazon over Christmas. Originally, I'm supposed to be a project with this

wildlife rescue, etc. out there that takes in animals that have been exploited in the pet trade. So exotic animals, you can think of tigers, monkeys, anything. Essentially, they bring them in the sanctuary to then go through the rewilding process to then be able to re-release them into the wild and have

success with it. The issue is that now a fire is encroaching and wiping the Amazon in and around the sanctuary. So animals are all coming. in right now burnt needing to go through care. So essentially the project shifted and we're probably going to need to be focusing on the fire aspect and not so much the pet trade stuff. But yeah, that's the project. That's what we'd be doing over December and then. So what do you do when you go in there and like there's fires like what do you got to put on your firefighter outfit and

like go save some animals? To be honest, to be honest, I don't really know what we're what we're really getting into. I have three days to plan. This just happened and this just got noticed. So now it's like a whole shift in like what the the intent and the initiative is supposed to be. So I'll know more about that soon. What is the craziest thing you've ever done in that world? Like what are you what do you look back on and go, holy shit, I can't believe I did that? Honestly, in terms of like difficult scenario would be the wildlife ranger training I did to get certified as a wildlife ranger. I think just the combination of one, like the actual army training that goes into it and then two being exposed to those elements that are insane and then all the dangerous wildlife as well.

So you're both kind of coming into the same world, both people that want to kill you, essentially, and wildlife don't want to kill you. So going through that training for about five weeks was probably the most intense. It was five weeks. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah. I like to think I'm tough or I don't know. I feel like I like to think I could like rough it in the woods or like your girl likes camping.

I don't know. But when you talk about like those situations, I feel like I'd be such a baby, even though I will say, I think I talked to you about this on DMs that I swam with sharks in Hawaii. that was the craziest thing I've ever done because there was no like cage and I just trusted these random like Hawaiian local men which they were missing fingers and they were like yeah just jump in and don't act scared and I was like okay and I just like jumped in and on the inside was having a panic attack and was just face to face with all these sharks so I feel like you'd be proud of me for that I would I would depending on the species if there are no sharks like kind of eh because they're just not overly dangerous but you know what sharks still a shark? So you wouldn't know the difference. Well, maybe you're not. It was a killer shark that was going to eat meat. Right.

That's how you sell it right there. I actually don't know what kind of sharks there, but that's a good question. I didn't ask enough questions. I just kind of was like, well, if you're born to get shot, you won't get hung. So if I'm going to get eaten by a shark, that's how she goes. Yeah. You know what? Once you get more of those under your belt, then you get more comfortable with it.

But, yeah, to dive in the sharks right away is a bit of a jump. Can you believe? Can you believe that you're back on Off the Vine to talk to me about your experience on Bachelor in Paradise? Like, did you ever think you were going to do Bachelor in Paradise after being like, Claire, Tasha, Katie? You sound like Caitlin Bristow going through them all. I didn't. I didn't think I would. I think what you take enough of a break?

There's kind of like an itch to like, it can be, it can be fun. And then with everyone selling me that's been through both experiences, being like, you're not just going to do Bachelorette. Like the fun one is Paradise. like go at least go see what it's about i mean there was a lot of other convincing and other things that had to line up for it to happen but i don't regret it it was a lot of fun it was definitely a lot of fun and i could see why people have success there it's much easier i have success there than the other shows no question yeah it's way much more quality time and like you get to know somebody they're not always taking them away from you and making you feel like it's like this prize on a pedestal

you're like actually getting to know someone and you're like walls are down because you're like look, I'm shitting my pants from this food here and, like, sweating and, like, having issues, I feel like you just get real, like, right off the bat. Yeah, no, you know what? I was surprised at the amount of time you could spend. Yeah. And, like, you can, it's not, it's not always just serious conversations. You can joke around, like, it's, you could have all the surface level stuff.

It's not just jumping to the important things says you only have X amount of time. So it is more realistic call in a sense. And so I appreciated that, that aspect to it, for sure. Yeah, totally. And I think by now we have all seen on Paradise a couple of weeks ago when Katie walked down on the beach obviously have to talk about that. You too, that was the first time you both had said words to each other in two years. Now, looking back, because hindsight is always 2020, how were you feeling in that moment? Because like in shit storms like that, I black out.

And so I'm like, now that you can remove yourself and look back on it, what were you actually feeling in that moment? I define it as angst. I wasn't nervous. I was anxious because I didn't know what was going to come. out of her. When you've spent that much time apart, you really don't, like, you don't remember where necessarily it left off. You don't know what she's thinking or feeling after those two years. I remember she was very apologetic in the moment and to all the things that she had sent me where I didn't respond and everything, but I don't know what had changed in that time frame.

So I was just like waiting like, you start. What are you here to tell me type thing? So I was just anxious. And you can't, not knowing she was going to be there, like I didn't really prepare for what I was going to say. I just had to speak at a raw motion and what I felt in that moment. And so it was just very, yeah, it felt better as I talked to her because I could tell she wasn't there to like stir the pot, which, you know, as we know, Katie can do. And so she's great at that. Yeah.

So I was, I wasn't sure what she was, what ammo she was coming in with and what she wanted to talk about. But I'm glad that the way it did. Yeah, it was such a healthy, incredible conversation. I, like, found myself rooting for you guys. I was like, maybe you guys should get better together. or like mom and dad spoken like a true divorced child over here. I'm like, get mom and dad back together again.

There was a lot of that out there, actually, surprising. Well, I just think, you know, there was a lot of people rooting for us at the time when, you know, we did get engaged. And, you know, I think there's still those people there who are pushing and hoping for that. Was there a part of you that was rooting for that? Because when I watched Katie back in that interview, she got emotional saying when they asked if she still loved you. Obviously, you didn't see that because it was in one of her interviews. What did you think watching back? I mean, I felt for her in that moment, right?

Because I understand there's like there's always some type of feeling or like love that kind of lingers, I think. Regardless if there's an actual potential for reconnecting a romantic way, I think there's always going to be love for somebody there. Right. Like I do have a place for her still. Yeah. Is it enough to have something sparked? No, not for me. But yeah, of course.

Like you see that and it's like, you know, pulls in her heartstrings a little bit. Sure. Yeah. It just made it kind of reiterated that. it was all very much a real thing and you know it wasn't the default and all those things that played into that narrative on that season yeah that makes sense i guess that makes sometimes the best closure is just like giving it some space and then having a healthy conversation and then knowing that you did make the right decision i feel like i kind of

had that recently too where it was like there's the anger built up and the uh this on instagram this on Instagram and then actually just having a healthy, mature conversation and being like, hey, we're both just hurting and that's okay. And like, this is the right decision. So let's just like have respect moving forward. I feel like that just goes such a long way, even for your mental health. It does, right? It's so simple. I try to explain this. It is so simple in the easy route to hate, like to hate them. Find the reasons to get over your ex by hate them. They suck. They're this. They're this, this, this, this and this. And absolutely, I think there are scenarios in which when you break up with somebody, whether it's cheating, or they really stab you in their back or something

where it's like, I don't need you in my life anymore, move on. But if it's ended in an okay way and you can salvage those memories and have a good outlook on that person, there's very few people in life that you are able to connect with experience with love that you can hold close. So like, why throw those memories in that person out of the window when there's just, you know what I mean? Try to fight to create a healthy space for that person if you can. Now, if they, yeah, But, like, for the most case, you know what I mean? Like, there's, then, yes, I agree. It's not a blanket statement, but yes.

What made you want to go on Paradise in the first place? Is it because you just had heard that people were like, it's so much more chill and it's fun? And, like, you meet someone, there's no pressure at the end to get engaged. Is that kind of, like, where you were coming from? And did you hope to see Jess when you were there? It was, like, on your radar? It was a combination of things. Honestly, it was very similar to the first time I went on the Bachelorette in the first place.

I say yes to everything. Look at my way I live in my life right now. I say yes to anything crazy, adventure, new. Something's going to provide me something that can provide growth and something I can get uncomfortable with. Well, this is just another version of the Bachelorette where it's like crazy experience, never done this before. It probably be a cool to look back on could meet somebody.

Let's just dive in and see what happens here. So that's really the basis of it. And then just seeing that it does work. Like there's, it was, I hate like we always talk about, you know, it does work. we believe in it. But like it is a part to the decision making. You do see successful relationships out of it. So that's always a key piece to it too. Yeah. I think so too. It's like I always say there's so many situations in life where you could take 20 couples off the street and try and make it work. Like maybe one will. It's the same thing on TV. It's just people get so disappointed when those

relationships don't work. But I'm like maybe look inside yourself and why are you so upset about other people's relationships failing? Like what are what do you need to work on in your life? But I mean, I do it too. root for people on the show to find love. I always root for them after. I always want to be there for everybody after the show and like try and help because I didn't feel like I had enough help after coming off of the season. So I always liked to be there for others and root for them. But okay, so how did you feel watching the whole thing play back? Like where you're at now, watching it back, are you surprised by anything or are the things that they didn't show that you wish they did? How are you feeling watching it all play out? I mean, you know, I was very

much low-key this season. Like I wasn't really involved in a lot of the drama and the shit, you want to call it. I really just literally focus on myself in my relationship. I think I've been through enough that I kind of know how to navigate this in a way to my benefit where I can just try to focus on the relationship if I want to make this successful and not get dragged into the shit. When I change anything, I think maybe I wish I should have caught on to the fact that like, Jess wasn't sold on me.

And I think I maybe shouldn't have waited so long for her to, like, potentially come around because in that instance, I wasted time maybe with somebody that wasn't sure, and you don't want anyone that's not sure of you. And I think I waited too long for to figure that out, whereas I potentially could have, you know, tried other relationship stuff. But I also wasn't interested in anyone else romantically on that beach. So aside from when Jen came down, so I don't know. I think everything played out the way it should. Sure, you missed a lot of conversations, as we all know. But the storyline in the instance of events was all there. Well, I think the main thing I want to know is, did you really make Katie call you daddy?

Oh, shit. Am I supposed to respond to that shit? Listen, I'll say this. What's the truth? No, listen, I'll say this much. I'm definitely of a dominating nature in bed. Now, do those words come out? Maybe drinking a little bit.

It's hard to do that sober. I just don't let. I don't think it's the word I like. I think it's the theme that comes with it, the dominating theme, you know? the word just insinuates that that's so fair i love the honesty because i think a lot of people be like no i didn't do that but thank you for being honest that's oh i think it's relatable it's relatable right it is relatable everyone else sitting here being like oh like that's crazy it's like no no no you fucking damn well know you've been there especially after a few drinks so don't put this on me like

i'm a weirdo there's a bunch of you out there oh no i get freaky naughty in the sack after a few drinks don't even get me started there you go i will say what's her name kiley When Kylie was so upset that we're leaving the beach, I was like, was there a little something flirting going on there? Or were you guys just playing with friends? I think that I gravitate to a few of the girls on that beach in the sense that there were a few really close to Jess. And so, you know, when you can just be so close to and make girlfriends really quickly

when, like, you're with one of their best friends. And so you can gravitate and tell them anything and be super close with them. That's what basically developed with Kylie, even Mercedes there. and Kat, where I just felt like there were safe spaces where I could joke around and really just be myself with them. And so we were able to create really great relationships where it just felt natural. So I think, like, I don't, I can't speak on her. And I mean, she obviously threw me off in that conversation because I was like, where do you kind of say, like, what do you mean exactly? So I was confused. I was like, I just got to get out of here. But yeah, it was a really healthy

relationship built on the show that I don't know, could have made things look a certain way for sure. My God, I was like, what's going on? Are we missing a big friendship here, or is this flirting? Are you still close with all of them after the show? Yeah, I mean, I have, I think I'm the busiest I've ever been in my life. So we have a, you know, a group chat that banters back and forth here and there about some things. And there's a few of them I keep in touch with more than others. Some came to a gala in San Diego to support me being Braden Aaron, Sam, Katie was there.

Yeah, I saw that. Susie. So, yeah, so we, you know, stay in touch for sure. I would say not much more than that just because it's like it's a lot it's a lot to you know be on with everybody but certainly if this wasn't going to air and you had to answer honestly who is your favorite person out of everyone in bachelor nation who is your favorite human out of all of them every all that I know like everyone that I like yeah I mean I'd have to have personal relationship so anyone that I've ever met in bachelor nation I mean I would probably say probably

my closest friend would probably be Zach Clark. And then your least favorite. I don't... I'm not saying you have to hate them. Just your least favorite. No, it's really wrong me, Caitlin. That's really hard to say. That's really just because, like, if I...

I'm not gonna, you don't have to answer it. No one's pissed me off, really. I know who mine are. I know who my favorites are and my least favorites, and you couldn't pay me to tell you. I'd be very interested to know who that is, though. Okay, moving on before I get myself in trouble. Sure.

I wanted to talk about Queen Rachel because I love Rachel so much and she ended up leaving this episode too. So what are your thoughts on her experience? Like, I love a roast. I feel like people get mean and they go there. But I hated what Tanner said. But what did you think of her decision to leave? Do you think it was the right move for her?

100%. I mean, listen, we were so close to that whole season. I think we came in with kind of a bond. I'd met her outside of the show months before that, or year, actually a year before. we actually ended up going on but anyway so I knew she was but I hadn't really like didn't know her very very well but when we got down there I think there was a bond coming and be like we don't know anybody here we've been out of this for a little bit and so we were able to just bounce like if she if I needed like advice I would run to her like honest advice and the same thing the other way around

and so I would give her insight on what I thought about certain guys or like how she should manage things or whatever and yeah like well the whole time I just was like I don't think that's it Rachel and she's like really I just don't think and that continued to happen throughout and I'm I was just happy that she didn't stick around to try and figure there's no one else there and there's no one truly for her there I don't believe do I think that she could had some fun with Braden sure but I don't think it would have been serious it was would have been fun for her but I don't think she would have left in a serious relationship so I think it was time for her to pull the trigger yeah that's fair enough I just I freaking love her

obviously rumors swirl all the time on like people getting the bachelor the bachelorette edit how are you feeling that you're getting the bachelor edit would you ever be the bachelor and please say yes i like are you on dating apps right now are you dating anyone or are you like open to be the bachelor if they asked so i have recently been on a dating app to at least try conversation because i'm always like in the jungle and like i don't meet you i don't go to bars and stuff so like that's an avenue at least to see, aside from like some of DMs or whatever, just to see like who's interested in and around my city or wherever I'm traveling. In terms of like the whole Bachelor thing, I have learned through now being in this franchise for a little bit that I've talked to

to many leads engaged to one and saying how difficult that process is, how terrifying it is. That's a scary thing. It's really, I just don't think it's as easy as what people think. And so cool opportunity wise, you know, when you go back on everything that I just recently said in terms of like cool experience never done it before always say yes to crazy adventures i think that's one though that being on that pedestal you have a huge responsibility not only for yourself but for everybody else it's kind of there in some capacity too and so there's a lot of thought that we need to go into that and timing i'm like i'm in a new country doing a new project like every month and so like what would i be passing up to potentially do that and look like an idiot maybe like but what if

you met jungle jane who's like all about the wildlife and you met your like true partner in life all from going on this crazy ass show like it's never been talked about in any in any way and so you know you can float the ideas all the way around but i haven't put any thought until i have an expectation that you know that's even in the realm and right now it doesn't look like that's the case so speculate all you want but uh they still need to go through a whole season of the bachelor and then The Bachelorette and then see what kind of ding-dong we get out of that season. So we'll see what happens. But would you ever go on another reality dating show?

I really don't think. So I want to do like naked and afraid or like alone or something where it's like a challenge, you know? Like I want to get naked in the wilderness and prove to myself that, you know. I feel like you could do special forces. That would be a cool one. Yeah. I mean, I think I do okay with that.

Just again, going through what I've already been through with the Wilder Ranger training. stuff but yeah that's a whole element in terms of like severity so yeah i would do that one too for sure what is your favorite like foundation in the wildlife community to like for people to donate to this is a really difficult because i so i originally started off with these animals behind me for the most part rhinos that's my definitely my favorite and that's where it all started for me but i think now diving into so many different realms and different continents with different animals whether it's like marine life or terrestrial life like there's there's reasons to try to and support all of them. My biggest one would probably

Big Life Foundation. I spent three weeks without the Rangers living in the bush with them seeing what takes to protect Kenya and Tanzania and all the wildlife in that area, these big cusker elephants. And so that is an umbrella that protects lots of animals with that organization. So I probably go there, but there's a reason to donate

to so many more. I try and think of things this way. It wouldn't even just be necessarily like, oh, it's a really tough thing to do and you're going to be the bachelor and take time away. I'm like, imagine building a platform, finding your partner, and then having more awareness to these things just from having, you know, more people be aware of you as a human being in this world and the things that you're doing.

So I feel like that's a plus two. So you could have, you know, a bigger platform to share your message to more people. Yeah. Maybe you found a girl that is passionate about the same things. I'm like creating a narrative in my head. I'm like, now I'm like hashtag like the bats for, but what are the top three qualities you'd be looking for in a girl if for next or I don't know if you've met somebody or whatever, but what are your, like, top three qualities you look for in a girl?

So first, yes, I do agree that that would be the best case scenario. I would love for someone just to want to be out there doing that shit with me, to be a little shit. I do it every time I get the acrimur trip, I'm like, that was a crazy, that was incredible. Or the instances on those trips. I'm like, how am I supposed to tell the story for it to take the same? Like, I wish somebody was here to, like, experience it with me, right?

You want to build life with somebody and memories. That's the way to do it. And right now I'm doing it by myself. So that's annoying. But I would say, top three, shit. I probably have like seven to ten, but I would go with adventurous, easygoing. Yeah. Because if you take life too seriously, we're not going to work.

And probably honesty, because, like, you can navigate a lot of challenges and difficulties through telling the truth and, like, working through the truth. But if you start lying, they're harder to work through, harder to get through. And so honesty is key. We're all looking for that rock. Rocks don't lie. Rock tell the truth and you work through them. Right.

So I'd say maybe those things. That's like my number one thing is the honesty. Sometimes I'm so brutally honest, people don't even know what to do with me. They're like, oh, wow, oh, wow, you're very honest. Well, it can be a lot, right? It can be, it can be a lot for people, for sure. But it's like, it just makes things easy. Well, I mean, you get yourself into confrontation here and there.

But like, at least you never caught up any shit. You're like, I didn't lie. Yeah, exactly. At least it didn't lie. Like, let's deal with this. Yeah, it's so hard to lie. Yeah. Lying's difficult.

It's so hard to keep up with your lies. If you're going to hurt me, hurt me the truth. I like that. I'll take that any day over a lie. Yeah. Okay, I have a quick game to play with you. So most likely, too, Bachelor and Paradise Cast. So who's, I mean, this one's probably obvious, I feel like it's going to be Wells, but who is on that beach most likely to make you feel better?

Wells or Rachel? Who would you ask to pick your nose? Who would you feel that comfortable with that you would be like, pick my nose? Oh, shit. Probably Peter, honestly. Pilot Pete, to be honest. he was jokes he was jokes there we got along well who was most likely speaking of honesty who is most likely to lie to your face who was most likely to lie to my faith people didn't really

with me there or like i don't think they wanted to but i would say oh i don't want that's difficult um i i don't think anyone would i don't think anyone would i don't think anyone would me. Well, that's very sweet and craning of you. Everyone was so nice to me there. So, like, I can't see anyone, you know, maybe Sean if he wanted to get what he wanted with Jess, and he would, you know, maybe snake around there a little bit, but that would be it. But even then, I just... There we go. You found a loophole. Yeah. Who was the one that made you laugh the most on the beach? Kat. I thought she was... Really? hilarious. Yes, because, like, now I'm calm, watching everything unfold. And so I always

like being around her because she was always in the thick of it and her her like antics and her like emotion and she always wore everything on her sleeve so she was just so fun to be around because she was just entertaining so she made me laugh all the time that's why she was my favorite she's my favorite character on that beach no question okay and then what did you do for your glow up because so many people go on TV and I swear when they know they're going on another TV show like every time the Bachelorette gets chosen and then she goes to be the Bachelorette I'm like whoa the glow up as real. Did you go up to go on to the beach? What was going on there? Well, a combination of things. So you probably don't remember,

but when I did Claritia, like I was very in shape for that season, but people remember me most for Katie's. And for Katie's, it was through COVID where I was just starting my preparation to go on Paradise that season or that year. So I'd sign my papers ready to go to Paradise. When Katie was announced as Bachelorette, that's who I wanted to go meet in paradise I called them I said hey listen like what's the chances just like going to meet her that was a girl I wanted to meet see what happens if it doesn't work I'll just go to paradise another two months but when it all spiraled I had just started working out I put on like 20 pounds so I like blew up through COVID and then had no time to like prep to go on Katie season because

I just started my prep to go on paradise so I think people remember me as like my COVID like I took a little time off and like on Katie season but for the most part like I'm in pretty decent shape now Coming on to Paradise, though, I recently got in shape anyway just because I was out and, like, you know, single, just a typical thing to like, okay, I got to clean myself up here or whatever. So I just started getting into routine. And then when I had an idea that paradise, even a sliver of like 10% that it might happen, I'm like, I'm not going on looking at my worst. So I just ate clean and worked out, maybe too much. Okay, but tell me this. Did you still drink Spade and Spade and Sparrow's wine?

Yes. And so I have a, at my cottage, I went up there. I don't go up there or no. And I have a bottle that was hidden in my, in my closet underneath my thing. I was looking for alcohol because you get up there. You don't have options. Like if it's closed, like you know, have options. We're scrambling to find booze.

And I remember from like a year and a half ago, you had sent me some. And I had a stashed bottle underneath my closet. And so that got up to the night. I love it. I always try to tell people, like, even though, like, everyone's always like, don't drink alcohol. If you want to get in shape. I'm like, my wine is low sugar. You are fine.

drink the wine. Yes, moderation. Moderation for sure. Moderation. Exactly. We can't leave without a confession because I feel like that's my favorite part of the podcast. So tell me about your confession and how did you shit your pants. That's usually what people tell me. Well, actually it has to do something in that realm, but a little bit different. I was trying to find one that I could actually tell that wasn't like over the top. A lot of my stuff's like it would make me look like a freak. So this is I think is relatable. And let me try to get through this as quick. possible imagine this okay i'm like made 20 about 20 call it 25 years old i was in a relationship for two and a half years with somebody that i really really really like and we're going through

the process of meeting once she had a split family we're going through the process of meeting one her one side of the family being her dad's side and at the same time we were going to a dinner to meet grandparents for christmas so there was a table for about 15 people in this really tiny home that their grandparents had so not only am i just nervous in general to meet everybody and be in my best behavior and whatever the table in this very small home in the living room with 15 people was like the bathroom was like a meter away from like the head of the table okay like so like it's right there it's right there and you know I'm panicking a little bit trying to like hold it in and I'm not feeling so hot and like whatever it's middle of dinner and it's hot and they're already

there's too many people I'm sweating a little bit and I was like okay I need to excuse myself to go to the washroom I understood that there was a washing downstairs okay but If I opt to go to the basement washroom, then they know I need to take a number two. And I don't want them to know that. I'm not going to like go down there for them. They're like, oh, he needs to go. You know, I don't want that. I'm already nervous.

Yeah. So I go into the washroom that's literally a meter away from the head of the table. I step in there. I realize I can hear everything. They would be able to hear everything. I need to like, first off, be so quick to make it seem like I just took a piss. Okay? I need to like get this out as quick as possible.

In and out. Well, I do. okay i flush i try to flush right away make sure there's no smell no nothing and it's not none of it's going down none at all and i'm like panicking so like what the fuck do i do now like there's 15 people there's probability someone's going to come in right after me so i can't leave it in here and i'm not stepping out and be like hey you got to help me with this what did you do i panicked i'm starting to sweat i know that i'm on time crunch so i just start handbombing it out of the toilet into the garbage. I didn't know what else to do. It's the garbage. Yeah, because where else am I going to put it?

And so I'm... The tub or the sink so you can wash it down? No, no, no. These are, these are quality. That was not being broken down that way. So I'm putting into the garbage on him. I'm sweating. Like, I don't know what to do. And I've, remember, you're on a time crunch. You don't know what you're supposed to, like, what would, what would you do? This is relatable. I feel like this is something that happens to people. You're in that scenario. Yes. You're on. You're on. a time crunch you have nowhere else to put it you're not going to come out and announce to everybody right then and there what do you do i probably would announce it that's me personally i would rather announce it than put my hands in my own shit and scoop it out into a because then you've got to think

about the smell and the bag and walking by the 15 people and like oh no i didn't take it out i didn't take it out with me through the garbage i pretended like i i sunk it in the bottom that garbage i tied it packed it pretending like it never happened and I just made sure the garbage was full so they seized it had to be taken out right away and I sealed that shit literally I washed my hands I came back to the table sweating sweating buckets being like I hope it doesn't sound there I'd be a weirdo if they caught me throwing my shit in there I'd be even weirder than just telling them that what happened but like I panicked in the moment okay I get it I get it I do weird things when I panic and I'm going to forgive you for this but I also just you're the one that likes people

to be honest, just own it, walk out there and say, I fucking clog the toilet, lull. Yeah, not to dad, not to dad and the grandparents and everyone at Christmas dinner for the first time within an hour of being there. It's just not happening. It's not happening. Who went in next? Who went in next? And then had to drop a deuce and then they're fucked too. I don't know. I wasn't thinking about that. All I know is is that I've never been called on it. They've never said anything. So my plan clearly worked and was the right way to go because I got out of their scoffrey. Okay. I hope she is still around, and I hope he listens to Off the Vine podcast.

I saw her. I saw her, actually, if you would sew my agala. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, who knows? Maybe she does. The thing is, you know, I think the handbombing part with free people out, but you got to remember, like, I live in the woods and, like, you know, I'm shitting on leaves and, you know, wiping with leaves and stuff.

So, like, that whole thing to me, it's whatever. Like, I pick up my dog's shit. You know what I mean? Like, it's, it is what it is. That's true. Okay. It was just another Tuesday for you. You're just handbombing shit.

Like, you always do. listen it's a scenario i feel like someone else can relate to i felt like it was i i'm sure many off the vine listeners can say that they've done the same i've i've had a few confessions where people do some weird stuff when they clog a toilet so you're not alone thank you for coming on the podcast it's a blessing to see you on our tv screens i'm i'm going to miss you now and i felt like i got a little slice of canada each time you said a boat and blake for bachelor thank you for coming on off the vine Thank you for having me. That was really fun. Appreciate it. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending.

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