Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Dealing with Hostelity featuring Clio De Llave

Episode Date: August 23, 2018

This week Kaitlyn along with her friend and manager Clio talk about dealing with online hostility, their coming trip to Italy, and what it means to be authentically yourself. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Whenever you guys are listening to this, it's Thursday. It's grape therapy time. Your session is now starting. I always try to think about what I could talk about for grape therapy episodes because I guess I usually do Bachelor recaps and all that. So I'm in Toronto with Cleo.

Again. Cleo, you probably hate me referring to you as the person that didn't know. there's two holes but that's just how I feel like the people remember you you know what fine I'll live up to it that's me okay two whole cleo two whole cleo no take it two cleholio no that's stupid i thought that was pretty good yeah I know you know what my favorite thing about hanging out with cleo is one because she runs my show but two because you think I'm hilarious and I'm like ready for it and I'm gonna try not to laugh too much into the mic but if I'm not laughing then because Because it's like, no one wants to hear me laughing the whole time.

You know what, Klee, that brings me to my next point of what this podcast is going to be all about. Okay. What is it? Being authentic and true to who you are. So if that means you have an ugly laugh right into the old microphone, you choke on that motherfucker and you laugh. All right. And I won't apologize for it beforehand. Why?

I'm just going to laugh. No, being authentic is being unapologetic. Exactly. And you're so good. I'm, you know what, I'm taking a page out of your book. Try. I mean, we all have it to work on. Nobody is, hmm, I'm trying, you know who I think.

Amy Schumer, I think, might be 100% authentically herself. But, you just hung out with her. No big deal. Yeah. Well, that's how I know, because she's my friend. Yeah. BFF. But in this time of.

Well, you should be. No, I'm sorry. No, you're not. Own it, girlfriend. Fine. I'll own it. Own it. Wait, I got to have a sip of my rosé.

Cheers. I actually meant to ask you. when we're having dinner. Do you not find that this rosé is amazing? Oh, yeah. What is it? I don't know, but it's a French rosé, so that's the go-to. If you go with a French rosé, it's usually drier and can't go wrong.

You can't go wrong with a dry rosé? Can you say in French for us that you can't go wrong with a French rosé? You can't do not make a mauvese. Oh, God. I always feel like such a shit-in-canadian when I can't speak French, but you're like not even French-Canadian. And you're like French, French. French, French, you know, you're French, French, all the same. But yeah, I thought we'd make this podcast about authenticity and being who you are,

because I'm not going to lie, as I shouldn't on a podcast about being authentic. Be truthful. Tell us the truth. If I'm being honest. I feel like in the time we live in with social media and people thinking they know you and what you should be doing and what your life is, I think it's more important now to rise up and stand strong into who you are more than ever more than ever like before yeah absolutely because I think I feel like I've always believed in that like remember when I did that TEDx talk yeah and it was

kind of on that same subject and I quoted Kurt Cobain of all people and and I said I said I would rather be hated for who I am than like for someone I'm not and I just I strive to live by that because I find it really hard to do that um especially being in I talked about this a little bit on the the last podcast with all the rumors going around that Sean and I had broken up. It's so hard to go through real life and be authentic and be appreciated for who you are all while being, like people are dissecting my relationship, what's going on, they think they know just based on social media. So it's so hard to be authentic without oversharing, without upsetting people, with keeping

my own level of privacy. It's very hard to be authentic, but I try as hard as I possibly can. Yeah. And I mean, knowing you and behind the scenes, like, I think you do an amazing job at that. Like, I think that that's something, even before the show, before all of this, like, I always have admired that and you. It's like you've always been very authentic. And I think we have a lot of similar values. I know that, like in terms of like the core, but we're also very different in a lot of ways and I've always been like it's just amazing how you've always been who you are and you don't apologize for it or you don't think of what the repercussions are because you just say well this is what I'm feeling this is what I want to say in the moment whereas I usually

have always tended to if I think it's going to cause a stir or if it's going to make people talk then I would I'll usually like hold that to myself well and on that note somebody had said to me on Twitter like this people talking about you guys um and and spreading these rumors someone said Sean seems to be handling it way better than you and having more confidence and just not responding to the haters and I'm like yeah but Sean and I are two very different people he is better about that and he does you know he he he is more like well I just won't respond where I'm like yeah but that's not me I'm going to respond and I'm going to stir shit up and I'm going to call you out and I'm going to be like, hey, look, not saying Sean's not real with that kind of stuff.

He's just more quiet and to himself where I'm more like, I'm going to call them out because you're pissing me off. Yeah. And you also, I think, have, you have this platform, your podcast. And it's been pretty amazing to see how you have this pretty interesting relationship with your fans, like in your audience. You really care. You have different groups, whether it be the scrunchy gang or you're off the vine gang.

gang and I think that there is a bit of that um realness with them which is why they connect on a different level and that's just who you are you have always kind of put your what's the saying you carry your heart on the sleep cleoism's right here cleo always thinks she knows the saying and then she just butchers it so bad it you wear your heart on your sleep yes exactly it's not you know what you always have to start with i'm cleo and english is my third language okay i speak french I speak Spanish. English is my third language.

So when you're like, is that how the saying goes? I'm like, you are forgiven. You know what? What blows me away is that I keep trying to say the sayings, but I just, I feel like I know them and I'm so close every time. You're so close every time. But yes, I do wear my heart on my side. I'm very, I'm very vulnerable.

Yes. And emotional. But I also am very self-aware. And it's crazy. I've never met anyone like that before. So you will do something and it will be 100% irrational. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, what is she thinking?

And then right after you're like, but I know this isn't, this isn't just stupid. This is stupid. And I shouldn't be acting this way, but this is how I feel. I'm like, wait, what? It's like, I truly sometimes when you're in those situations, I'm like, this is an oxymoron because you're acting one way that is maybe a bit irrational, but you know it. Yeah. And you'll own up to it.

So it's very interesting, but I freaking love that about you. I love it. I'm like, yes. Well, I do, I just, I mean, it's, there's ups and downs to being irrational, but I do find that I say how I'm feeling and everybody always knows how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. And the only problem is that the people that listen to Off the Vine and the people that really are invested and care and know more of the most, they probably get so annoyed that I'm responding to these little trolls that come out of

freaking nowhere and say stuff like and I'm like that's what I you know and even me like I'll be like why are you reading that like why are you reading the negative comments like it's not well because I'm in the middle of the positive ones and that yeah little bitch will come out of nowhere

and again because you care and you wear your heart on your sleeve but um we're going to Italy yes and people are mad and people are mad about it people are like why are you going with Sean but I'm like I have wanted to go to Italy with you forever yes you've been before and you know it's on my bucket list no you would love it and this is like maybe one of the

only chances I'll get in the next little while to go yeah and the thing is so speaking of authenticity I'll tell you right now I I had a little breakdown on the plane today I was flying from colonna British Columbia to Toronto and um people I was like so happy I was so so excited to be like, you guys, I'm going to Italy. It's a dream come true. It's on my bucket list. And I had people all of a sudden responding and saying, why would you go to Italy if you can go home to Sean? And why are you going to Italy when you've been away from Sean and Tucker? If you really blah, blah, my husband, I would do this. I would do this. And I'm like, guys, I'm not you. I'm me. And I'm sorry that I'm not sorry for being who I am. But if I get a chance

to go to Italy and cross something off my bucket list, I apologize that I have more balls than you and just be able to go do that because I'm like, why would I say no to that? If Sean was sitting at home going, please don't go, I'd wish you'd come home, then I probably would. But he's like, oh my gosh, you guys are going to have so much fun. For the biggest wine lover of all times. I'm the biggest wine lover of all times. And someone who's wanting to start their own wine company. It just makes sense. It's work, guys. I'm going to... A couple photoshoots are scheduled.

I will attest to that. It's a business trip. I'm going to test some wine. And that is me. I am Caitlin and I am supposed to be Italian. I think you might be and you just don't know it. Like when I went to do the ancestry test on like I like spit, spat, whatever you want to call in a tube. And I was like, I don't want to send this in because I don't want them to tell me I'm not Italian.

Because I think I'm supposed to be. Okay. Klee, one sec. Hold up. Some great news for you. Those genius men and women at Hyundai are modernizing the car buying experience with their new shopper assurance program. It's pretty much the future of car buying available right here in the present. Shopper assurance will save customers' time, lessen or eliminate, haggling, and speed up the whole process.

Hyundai is really the first manufacturer revolutionizing the way that you shop for and buy a car. The program is based on four awesome pillars. First, transparent pricing for convenience, knowing the price is always better than guessing the for sure second flexible test drives that come to you so you just get to find the Hyundai you love and they actually bring it to you to test drive i've actually heard this and i feel like that's brilliant it's brilliant third streamline purchase for efficiency so no more stacks of papers at the dealership and fourth a three-day worry-free exchange peace of mind after you buy a car and clea i just got to ask what more could you really ask for i can't think of anything else but i can't either it's not just

car buy made easier. It's a chance to feel confident, respected, in control, and at ease while making a great decision. It's all made possible with Hyundai Shopper Assurance. So visit HyundaiUSA.com slash shopper assurance for more information. That's HyundaiUSA.com slash shopper assurance. And that's why, you know, and a lot of people tell me, oh, ignore the haters, ignore the trolls. I'm like, but that ain't who I am. It's because you care and because you're invest, you're so invested. And there's nothing wrong with that. And I'm a very passionate person. And I'm a very passionate person. want people to know my truth and it's like hey did I ever say once hey smooth sailing like everything's so great and I can't wait to get back home I'm like you know what Sean just started a

business obviously I'm proud of him I go home every August to spend time with family guess what the guy doesn't like wine I do Cleo does like everything is just and I want to continue to always just be honest and open with people and be like hey guess what yeah I'm going to take this time and I'm going to do these things for myself just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're a slave to somebody and you can each do your own thing that you're very passionate about

and the other person can Sean was like oh my gosh you guys are gonna have so much fun is what he said yeah you know like well because he's supporting you and your endeavors and he's obviously doing his thing right now and it's probably better for him

that I'm not just sitting around at home being like when are you gonna come home from the gym where are you where are you well and I know because obviously when I saw right after we took separate flights and I could tell that that had really bothered you and I could tell that you were off and you were just like but because it's it's such a great area of oversharing

and being authentic comes along with like how authentic am I really going to get with people I don't know yes and I want to be authentic with people that are like genuinely listening to off the vine every Tuesday Thursday religiously and who are want to be in the scrunchy gang and all these things I want but the more is the gray area of like informing trolls I don't know where their heart is in like how they feel about me so I get very not offended but like I just get bothered when people who don't know me question who I am when I know who I am yeah and I think and that's like an interesting going on the topic of being authentic I think that now more than ever there's people can really express themselves which is such a beautiful thing like

people can really express who they are, how they're different, and people lived very different lives. Like, you know, my boyfriend and I, we are in a long distance relationship and it's something that would be very foreign, I think, to my parents. Like, we see each other maybe once a month. Yeah. And everyone's like, you know, there's like the traditional expectation, like, who's moving where. But right now we're doing what's good for us. And of course, like, I don't, we don't have a whole platform that's like trying to you know guess what's going to be happening but I think that for us that's true happiness is being authentic to what's working for us and there's still even though we've made a lot of progress I think of course having social media is something that

really does bring in a lot of inauthenticity in today's world because you know we're expecting we're looking at like oh we want to dress like a certain someone on TV or on Instagram or brands are trying to curate themselves as much as what you think that you want. So it's being able to decipher from like all the bullshit out there and versus like what do you really like or what do you really feel like speaks to you?

Yeah. And all these people have their opinions and feel entitled. But it's like, but we're different people. So I could also go on your Instagram, Susan 1, 286 and be like hey, I actually don't love your freckles oh they're real sorry like i would never do that but like it's just speaking of that so yeah so we were in mancouver and you're like i need to go now because i'm going to go get freckles put on i'm like that's a thing i didn't even know that you could do that and i'm like

you know you knew that you're probably people are probably going to give you a hard time for it but again it's going back to being who you are being true to yourself and you're like i think this is awesome i want to try it and i'm going to do it and well because people will call me out for, oh, you're supposed to be real and authentic, but you get Botox, or you get freckles tattooed on your face that's changing, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, do you color your hair if you, you know, like, I hope you've never put a streak of blonde in your hair. Otherwise, like, who are you to say what I can and can't do?

Being authentic doesn't mean that I can't do these things. And I kind of see it as like, it's almost like I'm like, it's an art to me. not oh yeah for sure definitely like i'm like well i want to experience i think freckles are so beautiful my sister i remember she had them all growing up and she wanted to cover them up and i was like why would you want to cover up your freckles they're so beautiful it's who you are blah blah blah and now i'm like whoa i have the opportunity to like you know people draw on their eyebrows i love it i'm doing the same thing with some freckles and i had to shut off the comments on my instagram because people were losing their mind that i was trying to change my appearance but i'm like i'm not

trying to change my appearance. I'm just, you're testing something out. And I think you're definitely your creative soul. That's the word I'm looking for. I just had maybe one too many rosés. Artsy. I'm like, I'm artsy. I like freckles. Yeah. And you hear me roar. And even though your tattoos are, like, there's such an expression of who you are. And I think they really represent that they have meaning. And I love that. And, you know, like to tell you the truth, I have never really been a huge tattoo fan, but for me, like, I couldn't even imagine you without them because you've actually become who you are. Yeah. It's fine. If it makes sense and if it's true and real and honest, then it's actually an addition. And I think a whole part of being authentic is not caring

what other people think because holy hell, I would not tattoo freckles on my face if I cared what people thought. Yeah. Because I would know that they were going to, people would come at me for it. So I think part of being who you are and staying true to to yourself is not worrying about what other people are going to say or think or feel. And as long as you're doing it for yourself, like, who cares? I think in terms of what you crave and what you want from people. And I'm not sure if it's just me, like maybe you too, but I notice I'm 32 now. So since I turned 30 in the last couple of years, if I can say the biggest change for me is really, which is really cool. is it coming into your own skin and being okay with that.

And then also, but also now I expect that from other people who I connect with. And the best moments are like the authentic ones. And when you know that someone is genuine. And I think that, but where is that line and how, how can you really feel authentic in today's world? Because I've caught myself too. I think a lot of it is energetically as well. And some people that if I don't feel comfortable with someone, All of a sudden, I'm talking, I'm like, what am I even talking about?

I'm like, stop talking. You're not even making sense. Or this isn't even you, but it's even stronger than you. Yeah. So I think it's like finding ways and tips of how to go back and be like, how do I stay true to myself? I think that's a great, great therapy lesson. Yeah. And something that we can really share with people is maybe some tips and tricks on how to stay authentic or be you.

Do you have some tips for us? I don't know, do I? I think you do. I'm trying I was thinking even of our conversation with some of our girlfriends like just doing the best that they can as being moms and they've got they're not even on social media platforms you know and they've got moms coming up at the store going actually in your baby Bjorn you're not supposed to carry it this way and then the next person five minutes later is like oh actually that person was wrong you're supposed to do this and then you involve the internet yeah you know like you're Googling what is and what isn't and I think that person was wrong you're supposed to do this and then you're googling what is and what isn't and I think I think for everyone listening here too, and I think just hearing, especially with moms, people coming up to them and making them feel bad for it, is just thinking twice before saying something and being like, am I judging this person right now and giving them like criticism or am I really trying to help them out? And where is that place coming from? Well, and I think that's when when people call me out on certain things and they're like, shouldn't you be going home to Sean? That's what I would do.

it's like great that is what you would do and guess what i wouldn't call you out for it like i i like to stand up for myself because i'm like what a boring world we would live in if we were all that same person like we're just not we're all so different and we're all going to have different decisions in life and just because you see one percent of my life on social media doesn't know you doesn't mean you know what's best for my relationship and again it's hard because i'm like there's so many people who are so supportive and are like like you go girl go enjoy italy and i'm like yes yeah they must be a vino like i just always know that they have my back and then those few people i'm like get the hell off my page yeah anyways

but you know what it's also um i love more than ever getting to know different perspectives i don't know if you do but i really try to now be like oh so why is it that you think that or where does that stem from it's very interesting no it really even And like to hear, if somebody said a comment to me and they weren't accusatory, if they were just like, hey, you know what? That's actually not a decision I would make. I'm more of this kind of person where I'm more of like structure and routine and I need to get home. Wow, you seem very spontaneous. That's cool that we're so different that way.

I wish I could take a little more of that. And I'd be like, well, I wish I could be a little more like structured and have that quality. But look at us. We're all so different. Like, imagine the world. if we were all just a little more open-minded like that and not just thinking that our way is the right way and that's what people should be doing

like every time somebody calls me out on something I just like I'm like man I could easily go and do this right back to you but I just want to know where you're coming from yeah because where does this stem from where does this stem from and why are you telling me that and are you like Sean's ex-girlfriend from high school who just made up a fake account and like a little better than I'm like I don't know Susan one two eight four

In one, two, eight four. I just made that up. But like, yeah, Susie. Susan, if that is your real name. Soes. Screw you, so's. But like, really, because it sucks because I don't know. And then that same person could come up to me in the airport be like, oh, can I take a picture with you?

I'm like, damn it. Are you Suze? Everyone. Every, every person that, can I take a picture? You f***ed Suez? As long as you're not Suez, you can. We'll be right back with more Austin Vine. Great Therapy.

Okay, everybody, if you like my show, then you are going to love the first degree with Jack Vanek, the host of Lady Gang. She teams up with her best friend slash true crime TV producer to explore stories of the craziest crimes, cults, and conspiracies imaginable with renowned crime journalist Billy Jensen and talk to the once ordinary people

who were one degree away from those stories. And who knows, you may even wind up being there next guest so check out the first degree every Wednesday only on podcast one now back to off the vibe great therapy okay let's get to it tips and tricks on how to be more authentic yes okay okay so tell me how can I be more authentic one thing I think and this is something that I've been starting to do my mom actually bought me a couple notepads amazing is writing stuff down so I think writing your feelings down and understanding I think you can go back and like get a lot out of it um and write down what you appreciate and love about yourself so that in like um Aaron

Trillor who I've had on the podcast who's our good girlfriend yeah um she will make me write down 100 things that I love about myself a hundred 100 which I did and how did it how did it it took me a while but a hundred things like do you remember what number you kind of started getting stuck out yeah like three no way no I'm just kidding it wasn't three but But it was like, like, a hundred's a lot. I think I started getting stuck at, like, 20. Like, yeah. Because I didn't know how shallow to go.

Like, well, I really love my skin tone. It's a little olivey, which glows in the sun. Like, yeah, like, I've got good genetics. It tastes great white. Um, got a great metabolism. Like, I didn't know. Like, is that okay? Yeah, I just, but it's like, no, just whatever you're feeling, like, think about

things and write them down that you look. love about yourself and don't feel guilty about it um Aaron always said like the best investment you can make is on yourself yeah and so I think um yeah also you know what I think that that's something that I'm only starting to realize now yeah I don't know in my 20s I was so focused on making sure that everyone else was okay and that I was being the best friend for everyone else but I still are that way no you are I told you I was going to cry on this podcast we're going to But you still are, but you are also having the balance of being able to have self-love. Exactly.

And just being like, what do I need? And keeping a journal is like maybe the best thing anyone could ever do for themselves. So right down- Journal in Italy. Yes. I'm not good at journaling. Oh, I got two. I have two journals.

You can have one. Okay. I'll take one. Write down moments when you truly feel yourself and even how you react in those situations. So like, hey, I'm feeling really good right now and I'm feeling really confident. what is it that I'm loving and like how am I feeling about that I think people just get so like oh god it's such an inconvenience to just like you know pull out a pad of paper and start talking

about myself but I just think it's so important yeah writing down your feelings I feel like we'll have a lot of good moments in Italy it's a good place to do we should probably turn it into a book can we yes um I think something that we've talked about before and something that I'm very passionate about is learning to feel comfortable in your own skin. So once you understand and accept your real self, you get comfortable with who you are and even love yourself for all of it, like allow self-critical thoughts to go away and don't compare yourself to others, which here's complete honesty. Like I find it hard because I'm not, I love working out. I love being healthy. I love eating healthy. I also love eating chocolate, eating chips,

drinking a shi a ton of wine yeah so i find it hard chocolate chips and wine on this right on the bed right with yeah all of it is right balance it's like it's all about balance brick are you just looking at the lamp and saying you love it that's like us right now i'm like i love chips i love chocolate um i love wine you're like are you just saying that because it's all in the bed right yes but but i think it's hard because i think sometimes like you feel inadequate with what you're surrounded by so sometimes I see Sean's level of fitness, and I'm like, oh, if I was only like a fitness model on Instagram or, and like those intrusive thoughts will come through my mind. And I'm at a point in my life where I can recognize that those are ridiculous thoughts.

And I can also stop them and say, Caitlin, you are you. You're so lucky for what you have. You work hard for what you have. And anyone would be lucky to have you. but that's a prime example of what I was talking about. There's like, oh my gosh, there's these like fitness models and they're so good looking, but I know this is a ridiculous thought. Yeah, yeah, I totally can do that.

How you can just see both sides of it? And do you know how many people say to me like, oh, Sean's Instagram is just constantly like working out with these girls and blah, blah, that must be so hard. And I'm like, yeah, it is. Absolutely. But never once has he given me reason to think that I shouldn't be comfortable with it. For sure. You know, never once have I been like, ooh, that was shady, you know, like never once.

So this is all. And it's like, you know what? You're basing that off social media. Yeah, for sure. You're basing it off social media and you're basing it off maybe what you would feel in certain situations. Don't put that on me. Don't make me second guess certain things. So there's.

But it's a little bit hard because I think when people do mention it, it's hard for you not to like maybe even go there for a second. Yeah, you do. And I think that's where people have to remember when they say something like that, it's, it maybe opens up a door that didn't need to be open. Yeah. And then people think like, oh, you shouldn't be more confident than that. Well, I'm just being honest. You know? Yeah.

That's what this podcast is about. Honesty. I love it. On that note is also letting those things go. Like, that's what I'm learning to do is not. see red. I don't want to see red with everything. Yeah.

Tip number three, let go. Yeah. Lego. Let go. Let go. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Boom. Boom. Yeah. Don't dwell on things, which I'm learning to do. Don't. You, yeah,

you really are good at. You're good at brushing things up. Well, but I think I'm lucky because that's just natural for me. Yeah. And I, you know, what I always say is,

you got to go with the flow. Got to go with the old flow skis. If you're just, I don't know, if you're resisting things, and I feel like that's when things don't feel natural. And you have to also, obviously, you know, try to fill your potential. But it's also, do I really want to be pushing shit up a hill when you know that's not going anywhere? Yeah. And so you just got to let go and be honest with yourself.

If you're going a direction where it's just not right, deep down, you know, so you have to be able to be honest with yourself. And if it's not just let it. it go and that's the hard that and which is very hard to do like i'm listening to that book called light is the new black oh yeah you told me we're going to listen to that yes on the plane ride yeah um no it's not a podcast it's a book it's an audio book audio book what's an ebook same thing yeah i think it's the same thing but it's this it's saying the same thing like um like you kind of got to trust the universe and it and your gut like if you feel like something's wrong or you don't feel like you just got to let certain things go yeah for your own sanity and your own heart

and actually say to yourself out loud like let it go and like Whitney said on one of my earlier podcasts that people really it resonated with a lot of people was just saying out loud so what so what so what's the worst happened and what's the worst that could happen no and then so what you move on yeah hey guys one sec let me tell you about diff iwear and what really sold me on diff to be honest it's the commitment to three things the quality charity and style charitable eyewear is a disruptive designer eyewear brand focus on doing good. Diff's founder saw a lack of affordable high quality eyewear. They set out to change that. So Diff offers the same quality eyewear as overpriced luxury brands, but a fraction of the cost, which we all love. But the

biggest thing that I love about Diff is that their main focus is doing good in the world. So for every pair of sunglasses sold, Diff is donating a pair of reading glasses to someone in need around the world through various charity partners, including restoring vision. So, Diff also helps empower local artisans and improve education in Arrua, Uganda, through their program, the Sabo Project. The Sabo Project employs local women as tailors to hand-make pouches for the sunglasses and all profits made from the pouch program goes right back to the Little Angels School in Arrua, Uganda.

How sweet is that? There are styles for everyone ranging from cat eyes to aviators, everything in between, So go to diffiware.com and use codevine for $25 off your order and help Diff do good in the world. That's Diffiware.com codevine. Love it. One thing you talked about earlier was listening and paying attention to everyone. Like in terms of being authentic, you were saying there's such power in genuinely listening to somebody and focusing your mind on what they're saying. I think that for me, I'm like, okay, not trolls, but like people who I trust.

Yeah. Is that what you meant? Yeah. I think it's just, I think in terms of like being authentic, you have to be genuine. And that means genuinely caring about people. And I think that that's where you get a lot of added benefits to because you're learning, you're learning different perspectives, their experiences and their knowledge. But the reason I mentioned that to you is because for me, it's been something that's been

very difficult. And I think going back to social media and today's world and, you know, with my work, right now it's always multitasking and I've noticed that my mind has just gotten busier and busier and just there's so much going on up there that it's actually carried through when I'm having conversations I'll notice like the first few seconds like you know I'm tuned in but I can so easily get like then start getting back to my own thoughts yeah and I noticed that and I was like I need to stop that and that's why I started meditating yeah because I'm like I need to slow down my mind so that I can be present.

And I think that people really can appreciate you and connect with you better when you're present. Being present is to me, like one of the most important things in the world because one of my favorite things is when I come home and like we'll have like a girl's dinner. And like we have such a good group of girlfriends. And I'm so lucky for like the few best friends that I have in my life

because I feel like we can sit there and like talk like right like we are right now. This is just like normal conversation that we would be having anyways we just happened to get to podcast about and share it with the world but just took a mic yeah we're just holding mic and drinking our wine and sharing it's kind of like our dinner conversation tonight yeah it really was like it just it just to me like being present in a moment or a conversation and not thinking about okay what's happened in the past that I can stress about not thinking about like even you know how I roll like you are my manager you help me with everything you know that I'm always like you don't I don't want to talk about

about that right now that that's happening tomorrow i'll deal with it tomorrow yeah i'm very much like i want to be in the moment that i'm in right now and when that time comes it's my mom will be like have you done this for tomorrow if you see and other people be like oh have you seen this email and have you or people will try book something with me for a month down the road i'm like you kidding me like i can't book something i i don't know yeah talk to cleo because right now i'm in today and i can't think about a month from now absolutely not and i think that that's a quality that I actually really like it. It's one of my 100 things I could write down about myself that I love is that I do feel

like I'm present in the moment. Yeah, you do. You live every day for that day. Yeah. And, you know, we can take on the whole like scheduling and matching. But I think the reason we work all together is because I'm truly naturally that way. Yes. So I know that not to bring that on because I'm the same like I get overwhelmed and people

try to plan too much or there's so much happening and that's going to be down the road and it's like you know what let's enjoy today like we're going to Italy on Friday which I mean tonight's it's Wednesday tonight tomorrow when this comes out it'll be Thursday we leave tomorrow and we're like should we stay at this hotel that these are problems and I know that's I want to start doing a segment called first world problems oh I know you should and we can be like you know what we don't have our hotels booked for Italy and days first world problems but you know what i also love that because we booked this so last minute and honestly it was last night i was like we're going to say saturday night but it's you also i think there's

such a beautiful thing about going with the flow and figuring it out and if we have to go stay at a hostel then guess what kately oh i don't know about that we're going to go say to hostel i don't know about if we need to we will that's i mean that is being quite in the moment yeah but that's also called i wouldn't do that too yeah i don't know i'm like i'm 33 i'm not 20 anymore. Can I tell you a funny story about a hostel? It was only two years ago for work where we were trying to experience like the millennial lifestyle of when you're 20, 21, what it's like to travel in that mindset. So we went to Austin City Limits.

So it's a big music festival in Austin. And it would be so fun if we stayed in a hostel. So, you know, Ariel, she booked us a hostel and I was so excited. Let me tell you, not so fun. Yeah. I've heard nightmares. I was 31. Yeah,

with all these, like, that ain't cool. That ain't cool. No, so I promise not to do that to you. Um, my last tip.

Is this a powerful one? Yes. Okay. This is what people should take away. Okay. You have to align your heart and your path. I love it. By being authentic,

I feel like you're giving yourself the biggest gift of all. And if you follow your passions and your heart and you know what fills your soul, you'll be living your best. and most fulfilled life like sometimes like I had that um phone call with that energy healer Julie yeah oh I love her and she was like are you fulfilled with what you're doing and I actually thought about it and I said yes and she goes amazing she's like not many people can say that I said I genuinely am fulfilled with being able to have a voice with a podcast and being real with people and even the other day like I donated to a friend's charity and like just everything that I'm doing I'm just like it fulfills me it really does because I think you've gotten to the point where you can honestly and truly just say yes to what you want yeah and that's Spencer Pratt was on the podcast the other day and by the way congrats Spidey on becoming famous again so excited you know what I became the biggest Spencer Pratt fan because of you and yeah I just adore them they're hilarious and he was like Katie

and like why aren't you taking meetings and getting phone calls and like getting your own TV show and I'm like it's not like those opportunities haven't presented themselves I genuinely just like to live a somewhat low key life where I mean this to most people's not low key but like I love doing the podcast and I love having certain opportunities and I but I also love to have such a balance in my life where I can completely just focus on myself and I can have balance and sleep in and not open my world to, like, more TV and people, like, you know, being so into my private life. Like, I love having some level of privacy. And he was laughing because he's just, like, so the opposite.

Like, he's like, he's like, what? No, I just, like, let's get super famous. And, like, but to me, I'm like, no, that's not me. And he said the same thing about Sean, like, he was like, I tried to tell Sean, like, you have this platform. in this, like, presence on social media. You can just run with it and document everything and have your own reality show just through your, but it's just not in Sean either. Like, it's just, we are, we are two pretty normal people.

But that's why I've, I've loved working with you and, you know, I've gotten the chance to work with Sean as well. But I think it's, that's why it's been such a natural fit is because I'm such a believer of doing what feels right. And there's been so many opportunities that have presented. presented themselves and we've talked about it and you're like, no, that's not what I want right now. I'm like, okay, sounds good. And why do something that doesn't feel right to you? Because then that's not on your right path. And that's not what's going to be successful. I'm such,

it's funny. Like, I'm such a believer of authenticity and organic. Yeah, because I think it just leads you on the right path if you follow your heart and if you are just who you are. Yeah. And it is crazy. Happiness is number one. It is. It's, I mean, it really is. Like being happy and doing what fills your soul, even if that means you're not making all of the money. If even that, if you're doing it does not lead to happiness. I have seen it over and over again. Happiness will lead lead to money. Money will not lead to happiness.

And I just feel like that's, I've always lived my life that way. Oh, really? I've ever heard that one before. Yeah, I'm pretty much a philosophical genius. You need to start writing quotes. The Atticus poetry. You know what? I actually have a quote about authenticity that I love and it says, when you're authentic, you create a certain energy and people want to be around you because you are unique.

Yeah. And I was like, yeah, that's so true. And, you know, I know that you met with Julie, who's an energy healer. Yeah. And as I get older, I do, you know, I really feel that energy between people is a real thing. And you just have to gravitate towards people that energetically. feel right and if it doesn't there's no point in forcing it yeah i totally agree i totally agree you get wiser with age it's true what they say yeah can't can't wait until i'm 40

can't wait at all two more years um i would i'm just joking oh i didn't yeah i was like i was like yeah whatever anyways i tweeted oh yeah what did people write back so i did you have something else to add to the no okay so i tweeted um about uh recording this grape therapy and And I asked people what the word authenticity meant to them. And oh my gosh, I have, let's see how many responses, 75 responses. And everybody's so different. Like, like Bianca Anderson says, not apologizing for who you are, which I totally agree with unless you're like murder, but like, like, you owe probably a few people an apology.

But like being authentic is so much of being like, you know what? I am freaking emotional And I do get this way But I totally realize that it's ridiculous And I'm going to go Tattoo freckles on my face Because I don't go chat Let's see what else

Oh The louder crowders Authenticity is the daily practice Of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be And embracing who we are That is one of my favorite quotes Oh shit Sorry I mean I didn't mean

to swear I wasn't paying attention I was reading my email I saw that hey you know what thank you for owning that thank you for owning that I'm closing my laptop what did you say she authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are I fully agree it's so important it's so important and it's so hard to do if you have a the world watching but it's so hard to do not even if you have five people in your circle like that's why there's like that much more respect for you I really wish people could see you right now keep talking

cleo's headphones just got tangled around her glasses hot that was really cute that's amazing um okay Ashley sir being who you truly are around everyone and anyone and not giving a fudge what others think slash say could be wrong i don't know i'll say you're right i would say you right um oh it's just why is it so hard to not care what people think it is hard

because because you want them to really know who you are and when people are judging you and they don't and it's not accurate it's offensive so if like somebody is accusing me of being awful. I'm like, no, that hurts my feelings because I'm, I'm not this way and you're assuming I am and you get to just put your opinion on the internet and you don't get to like, it's, it hurts. But think about it. Okay, so take away people that don't know you. Like, think about people that do know you. And I think maybe even more of a reason to be truly who you are, because if you're truly being who you are and people will judge you for that, then in that case, those people shouldn't be in your life but it's it's easier so than done like why i've opened up my world to all these

people who are entitled to this opinion but i think i think also what people need to know is i don't lose sleep over it like i'm not like you know what susy i'm not like i'm not like thinking of susy when i go to sleep and what she said about like my freckles like i'm not i'm just like i'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking like, well, today was a really great day. I got to spend the day with my girlfriends and do this. And I like try to focus on all of the good to fall sleep because that is what helps me fall asleep. So it's, I think it's just taking things also with a grain of salt and being like, okay. But that's the thing is knowing who you are, knowing what they're saying is not true. It's just frustrating when it's a lie. I get it.

Yeah. Julie Schreier, it means that you are 100% you were, Regardless of the situation you're in or the people around you, everyone knows the same side to you. I think that's a good point. Like, I wish everybody knew the same side to me. I wish people Joe Blow from down the street felt. Do you feel like you have this exact same side with everyone, all of your friends? No. Because that's something that I have found very interesting as I've gotten older, as I've realized that different people bring out a different side of me, but they're still authentic.

yes but which is weird because you're multi-dimensional yeah and i love that and then it's like okay like that's why you can never expect your partner or one person to bring out to give you everything because different people will bring out different sides of you yeah but doesn't mean you're not authentic no that's a good point clearly just no that was a good point i was a good point i was I thought that came. No, because I have, I mean, I have so many different close girlfriends. And you're just different with all of them. Different with all of them, yeah.

Let me see. Jessica Rose, believing in and staying true to who you are, accepting what you're, oh, what? Accepting where you are moment to moment and trusting your journey. I really like that one because that's accepting moment to moment is big. Like, yeah. This is part of your journey and the path that you're on and whatever. moment you're in means something like people tend to give up or get frustrated or

care too much about but it's like this moment that you're in right now what are you feeling why write it down and then come back to it the next day and then you can probably have a more clarity on what you were feeling in that moment totally and and just understanding that there's different steps in life like when I was 24 and I started my business I was like not expecting to be ballin yeah out of control do you know what I mean I think it's understanding that, okay, you have, in this moment, I need to learn. This is my educational portion of, like, my professional life and being okay with that. Yeah.

I like that. I like that too. I'll read a couple more. Okay. Oh my gosh, I love this. Molly Flynn said, some days you're dancing in the kitchen, some days you're giving yourself mere high fives, and some days you're overwhelmed with the stresses of life, some days you're laughing until you can't breathe, some days your anxiety is crippling,

Authenticity is existing boldly in all days. Whoa. I love that. That's my favorite one. Can you repeat it? Yes. Repeat that again. That was amazing.

Some days you're dancing in the kitchen. Some days you're giving yourself a mere high fives. Other days you're overwhelmed with stresses of life. Some days you're laughing until you can't breathe and some days your anxiety is crippling. Authenticity is existing boldly in all days. That's so good. It's like showing up to whatever you're feeling. in that moment, in that day, just

knowing that this is who you are and not holding it against yourself. And if you're not feeling your best, it's fine, but you're just going to get through that day. Yeah. Do you ever give yourself high-fives in the mirror? What, Cleo? Do you listen to my podcast? It's like my thing. I mean, yes. We're being true right now. I'm just joking. You're like,

no, that sounds stupid. No, mirror high-fives are like how I try to start my days every day. But yeah. You just got to do it. trust yourself i'm going to stop on that just because that one was so good that i'm like wow that was a good one to end it on i think it's just trusting in who you are and yourself and how you're feeling and and knowing that if you're shy you're shy and own it you don't have to put it on and if you're an introvert admit it just don't try and be an extrovert you know like just be like hey this is who i am

and i think it's just like being honest with yourself and being able to be honest with others about who you are. Yeah, because I think, you know, if you're an introvert, you could say like, oh, you can always, like, work on being an extrovert. That's absolutely true. Yeah. But I think I heard this from someone and be like, if you're an introvert, what truly makes you happy is either, you know, being at home or just having close friends.

So if you're an introvert, trying to have 200 friends is not what's going to make you happy. And it's understanding that. Yeah. I don't know. I hope people take away something from this because. I think I was kind of all over the map, but that's who I am. Like, so what are we podcasting about today?

Authenticity. I'm like, sweet. Sweet. Sweet. Sweet. Dude, what does mine say? Sweet. Dude, what does mine say?

Sweet. No, it said, dude. Oh, yeah. Dude. No, no, no, but what is mine say? Sweet. Oh, my gosh. Well, Cleo, thank you because to me, you're a very authentic.

Oh, it's a big truck outside of our hotel in Toronto here. But to me, you are a very authentic person, and I'm very excited to explore Italy with you. I cannot wait, and let's be very authentic and make sure that we drink all of the wine because that's what we like to do. We have to just emerge ourselves. Immerse. Emerse. Whoops, emerge. I'll teach you a little bit of Italian before we go.

Oh, I'm sorry. As Italian, your fourth language. bongiorno I'm much no honestly like I don't remember I went to Italy to learn Italian

but I don't remember it so it'll be interesting to yeah it'll come back you I know I know for a fact we're gonna go there and you're gonna be like

Bibbidi booby booby that's exactly what I'm gonna do that's on family guy I am I feel like I am a romantic soul at heart and I'm so excited to take you to Italy and show you all of

all of the wine I feel like you're going to just like wine dine and not 69 maybe absolutely oh i just not 69 do you see that no i just hit my tooth with the microphone careful careful um okay well no and on that note um thank you as well for being so authentic and i think that that's truly legitimately one of the things that drew me to you like years ago and it was something that was very curious because i think it's still you know it's still my early 20s trying to figure things out but seeing how sure you were of who you were and just showing everyone who you were and I think that was unbelievable thank you for saying that and I do

think that's why maybe sometimes I react to people questioning who I am because I'm like no no no no no no I've always shown you make true colors yeah at all no and oh is that or like the closing song boy you know I've always wanted to come in here and now that I got a mustache the timing feels right Wow, all this stuff looks pretty good. Can we get some salami and... Brian, Brian, let me handle this. Ah, scozy, babida-boopy? What are you doing?

Speaking Italian. Peter, you can't speak Italian just because you have a mustache. Boba di Bapa. Bupa Bupa Bapa Bapa Bapa Biba Bada. To say em patzo, babi to bea de quay. So I'm stancho-a-a-a-d-a-d-d-d-d-a-d-d-d-d-d-a- And that's right. So I guess I need to grow a mustache. Okay.

I'm Kaylyn Bristow. I'm starting to meet you. I'm sorry. Damn it. I plucked today. I found my tweezers. Yes. I'm Kaylon Bristso, and your session is now ending.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV? Sponsor review for this Thursday's grape therapy. Diff, Iware. Go to Diffiware.com and use code Vine for $25 off your order and Hyundai. Go to Hyundai.com slash shopper assurance for more information.