Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Erin Treloar

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

Today, Erin Treloar comes on the podcast to talk to Kaitlyn about anxiety in these uncertain times. Erin is a health coach and founder of Raw Beauty Co., a company dedicated to helping girls and women learn to live from a place of confidence and self-love! She gives tips on food cravings in quarantine, self-care, and how to effectively communicate with your partner. GEICO – Go to geico.com, and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance CALIPER – Get 20% off your first order when you use promo code VINE at trycaliper.com/VINE HUMANN – Get your Super Grape Soft Chews at Supergrapes.com/VINE and get a free 30 day supply with your first purchase LA CROIX – Enjoy La Croix sparkling water, a healthier alternative for you and your lifestyle. SPAFINDER – Go to spafinder.com/VINE or promo code VINE to save 15% on a gift ABC's THE BACHELOR PRESENTS, LISTEN TO YOUR HEART - Mondays at 8pm PTSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Great Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Grape Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. I could not think of a better time to have this next guest on my podcast. She is the founder of Raw Beauty, a wife, a mama, a host of her own inspiring podcast, Raw Beauty Talks. She is first and foremost a health and wellness coach, but she takes us beyond the highlight reel of influencers and wellness gurus and shows us what health and wellness really means. And today we're going to experience that behind the scenes, realness up close, Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the beautiful and empowering Erin Treloor. Oh, thank you, Caitlin. That was such a nice introduction. I'm so excited to be here today.

Yes, very excited to have you. You've been on the podcast a few times now, and you will continue to be on a few times more. For people who have missed previous episodes, can you just give us a brief background of kind of who you are and how you've become one of the most inspirational gals out there, in my opinion? Oh, my gosh. Wow. Thank you. So my name, I am Erin Toulor. I am a mama, first and foremost, of a four-year-old and a two-year-old. We are all currently in self-isolation, and we're hiding out in. Pardon me. Are you in Vancouver? We're in Whistler right now. So we're, yeah, we decided to come up here just because there's a little bit more space for the kids to run around. Obviously, we don't have, you know, child care or anything like that right now. And so we're, yeah, we're navigating that. I'm a health coach. is my profession and the founder of Raw Beauty Co. And with Raw, I started it about seven, eight years ago now, which is crazy. And my whole goal with it is to really inspire and empower women with the tools to feel amazing in their body from a health perspective, from a mental

perspective, helping them find confidence in who they are. And so through that, I've had an opportunity to work with some incredible brands and so many amazing women, yourself including. did. Yeah, I think a lot of times when people think of following someone on social media and they think health and wellness, they think they have a picture in their head of what they're going to see on that Instagram page, whether it's, you know, models in swimsuits or whatever, like these healthy bodies look a certain way to some people in their mind. And I think that intimidates people. So tell us about what they're going to see when they go to your page. You are going to see all different kinds of women, what health looks like in all different ways.

I think that woman that you were describing, the woman with the six-pack who was, you know, six feet tall and the model in the 90s, that was for a long time what I believed health was. And because of that, I really ended up struggling with my own body image, with my relationship with food. And in high school, I developed a pretty severe eating disorder and I ended up hospitalized for about three months, which was incredibly hard. at the time, obviously, but at the same time now, I'm so grateful that I went through it because it really was a springboard into learning so much about myself and into this conversation that we're now having about what does health and wellness really look like? Because we've been sold an idea of what it looks like from... We're still being sold. The idea. We're constantly, like receiving thousands of messages about what health and wellness looks.

like. And when you peel back the layers, health and wellness is really something that is so much more broad than just the weight on the scale and your physical appearance. So, you know, when I started raw beauty talks, it began as an interview series where we asked women to take off their makeup, to stand before a camera and have their photo taken without Photoshop or filters. And we had a conversation about what it means to be a woman and what their health routine looked like and what their mental health struggles were. And one of the things they found is that often the people who had the most quote unquote perfect bodies weren't necessarily the most healthy all around. And so on the page, we showcase all different types of body. We celebrate

things like cellulite and tummy rolls. And then we also celebrate those women who are running triathlons and super fit and the mamas and all of the different stages of what a woman's body looks like. And we're really, you know, at this stage in the game, my goal is for women to really redefine what healthy looks like for themselves and for their body. Yeah, absolutely. And I know you've been really open and as you said earlier about your relationship with food through the years and how you've grown and how food can actually affect your mental health. So obviously a lot of people are, you know, having their memes and joking at home about being stuck inside and snacking all day and all the weight gain and talking

about that. But it's true that our relationship with food is going to look different when our life has drastically changed. So how do we maintain a healthy relationship with food during all of these crazy times we're going through right now? I mean, I find myself, as I'm sure everyone does, the board eating or the like not listening to your body and just doing. something because you're like, well, I'm feeling depressed today and you turn to food. How do we

maintain the healthy relationship during this? It's such a good question. And so many people are trying to navigate this right now because we are in a scenario where we're being triggered to eat from so many different things, whether it's boredom, um, insecurity, a changing landscape, uh, increased feelings of anxiety. We're at home, which can be a triggering place for people at times. And so a lot of people are finding themselves in the kitchen often or reaching for food more than they would and also craving things like those simple carbohydrates and sugar. And what can happen is we start off joking about this and making fun of it, which is totally fine. Like it's good in some ways to laugh about somewhat serious situations. But what I find with

women is because our relationship with food is so complicated that while this may last for a couple of days of more eating, that often on the other side of it are a lot of feelings of shame, discomfort, feeling like you're going to become out of control. And then because of that, we cycle into a mindset of restricting. So then we're like, okay, starting on Monday, I am not having any of this food in my house. I'm only eating, you know, veggies and steamed chicken or whatever it is. And And then we restrict. And then we know whenever we're in a place of restricting, it's like having a slingshot and pulling back the band of the slingshot.

We're restricting, restricting, restricting. And almost always we're going to go flying off in the other direction and end up, you know, eating all the things. So we end up in this really uncomfortable cycle that's not only impacting our physical health, but it's really impacting our mental health, our confidence in ourselves. We start, you know, questioning our ability and our habits. The comparison game strikes up. So what starts as something really simple, I find for a lot of women can become a really

toxic relationship with food. And we're in this scenario right now where we're all at home, we're all a little bit stressed and it's very natural and normal in that situation to reach for foods that are going to give us that adrenaline rush that are going to feel good, that are going to taste yummy. When you think about what's happening from a chemical reaction in your body, when you're stressed, your sympathetic nervous system is turning on. Cortisol is coming through your body. And oftentimes in that space, our mind is no longer also really logically thinking. We're not consciously making choices about what we're putting in our body or how we're moving

our body or what we're doing to fight stress. Instead, we're in this fight or flight mode. And when we're in fight or flight mode, we're thinking, or we're not really thinking, we're reacting and we're trying to do something in that moment that's going to help us balance out our body, that's going to help balance out those stress hormones that are, you know, flowing through our body. And one of the fastest sort of most eloquent ways that we can do this is by grabbing some sugary, yummy foods. Because that's going to, to release some of the more calming hormones. It's going to give us a little boost, a little bit of those feel-good hormones in our body, balancing out the stress. So it's actually a really

functional strategy. It's just a short-term strategy. And in the long-term, we're actually not going to feel as good. And we're also not actually addressing the underlying problem, which is the stress or the anxiety or the discomfort or the boredom that we're feeling. I totally agree. It's like, and how do we change that as the question? Like, I don't, I don't, I find myself doing insane. I mean, I do it with wine. I do it with food. I go the opposite way where I'm not eating because I'm stressed. Like it's, there's so many different ways to look at it. And it's everything you said is so right. And it's like, okay, well, now what? Totally. It's like, the most annoying thing is when you can logically understand what you're doing. You're like, I know I'm not hungry right now, but I'm still eating the whole bag of chips. Why am I doing this? It's so frustrating. It is frustrating. So one of the first things that we can do is simply ask ourselves, am I hungry? Am I hungry? So if you're writing this down, write that one sentence, but one question down right now, am I hungry? And what you can do is start to identify whether or not you're actually physically

hungry or whether you're emotionally hungry. True hunger is always going to feel physical. It's always going to be a physical symptom like tummy growling or your head might be getting achy. You might find that you are getting hangary, that you start to feel dizzy or lightheaded or fatigued, but it's a physical sign from your body. Emotional hunger is kind of what shows up when it's not any of those physical signs. So say you're walking into the kitchen and you ask yourself, am I hungry and you notice yeah I haven't eaten for a few hours and my stomach is like getting a little growly or I'm starting to feel a little bit irritable then go nourish yourself give yourself some food that is going to fuel your body if you find that you are not hungry and you're like I just

finished dinner why am I back here right now why am I going to grab the wine why am I do to do whatever it is ask yourself what am i hungry for that can't be solved in the fridge what am i hungry for that can't be solved in the fridge this is going to help you identify that root emotion that's driving you to eat so that you can find alternative ways to address what it is that is driving you to eat so if you come to terms of the fact that you are stressed. You can create a list of things that will help combat that stress other than eating. So maybe you could phone a friend, go take a shower, get outside for some fresh air, talk to somebody that you trust that you know has the ability to help

you feel more calm if you find that you're bored and you're going to grab food or wine. Is there something that you can do other than eating that will help. fight that boredom again calling a friend learning something new turning on and watching a funny show oftentimes we get into these patterns or habits right like every night after dinner we have that same dessert or every day around three or four o'clock we find ourselves in the kitchen so consider yourself almost like a record playing and when we have a habit it becomes really easy to just stay on that same track for the pattern to repeat, repeat, repeat. And so if we want to start breaking our habits, we have to put a scratch in the record so that the needle can no longer

continuously play. And one of the easiest ways for us to make a scratch in the record is to do something other than that action, even if it's just for 30 seconds, even if it's just for one minute and then you find yourself back in the kitchen. The more you take a different opposing action, the more scratches you're going to make in the record until one day you find that you're actually no longer trying to address that underlying symptom of stress or boredom or frustration or anger or resentment or whatever is bubbling up for you. Sometimes it's even excitement. And you're actually, you know, really addressing that emotion with a tool that will help solve it rather than just cover it up. That's a good idea. Even you're talking about that record,

could be even the routine you get in is it could be a good one like I got a peloton bike and I've been getting on that every day and now I crave doing that because I did it a few times and that can help too you know like doing good things you can get in patterns of that too and I know you believe in like you know treating yourself and we're not saying that like you know like don't eat that's a bad thing we're saying listening to your body and nourishing obviously we're saying that let's take a quick break if you ever find yourself scrolling through social media or watching TV commercials. I'm sure like me, you have seen the countless health and wellness products that promise to help you in so many different ways. There's so much out there, but why is it this

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If you don't love it, they'll give you a full refund. So that's trycaliper.com slash vine. And don't forget promo code vine with 20% off your first order. So what do you think the balance between treating yourself and being conscious of what you're eating? Like, do you find it different now than the normal? Like, what is that balance? Because I do think that we all need to treat ourselves a little bit during this time as well. And how do you do that balance?

Oh, this is such an important conversation not only in regards to food, but in regards to all aspects of our life. right now, right? It's coming at things from a place of giving ourselves grace and having compassion for ourselves in a time when a lot of things are changing, when things are feeling really uncomfortable. And I feel like there's so much on social media right now about being more productive and writing your book and getting in the best shape of your life and really using this time and maximizing this time. But I've also read a lot of really compelling articles, speaking about the fact that we are going through a trauma right now. And in a time of trauma, especially in the first couple of weeks, all you need to be focused on is trying to get

some sleep, which is a struggle for a lot of people right now, eating, maybe moving your body a little bit. And that's it. It is going back to the basics. Yeah. My thought around the whole conversation about, you know, treating yourself with food versus nourishing and fueling yourself. I'm somebody who has what would be considered junk food of some sort every day, right? Like, I love having my handful of chips while I make dinner or a little bit of ice cream after dinner. I make chocolate chip cookies with my kids and we all have one. So I'm absolutely not about depriving yourself, but what I help my clients do is really learn to listen to their body and to tune in to you, what your body really needs in a moment. What you find as you learn to listen to your body

is that it's actually not craving junk food all the time. And that when we start to notice what happens when we're eating junk food or what I call low energy foods is that we feel tired or our skin breaks out or for some of us, we start to have more anxious thoughts. And so as you start to notice when I eat this, the result is this and the result isn't great, you're less inclined to go overboard in eating those things. Another thing that's really helpful is to practice mindful eating, which is something we have moved so far away from as we like eat in front of the TV and are on our phone scrolling as we eat a meal. So one of the things that everyone can practice a little bit during this time is really as you're eating food rather than inhaling it. We've all done

that right. When you like eat three cookies and you're like crap, I don't even know what those tasted like to notice what are the flavors of the food that I'm eating. What's the texture of it? To actually put it down in between bites. We practice something not every day by any means but called a 20-minute meal. So you set your timer and you actually try and make your meal last for 20 minutes. Which sounds like, oh, yeah, you sit down for dinner 20 minutes, but we inhale. Like, I was just having lunch with Jason. And I always remember this because of our conversations.

But same thing. He was eating this sandwich and he just inhales it. And he's like, gosh, I don't want it to be done. I'm like, I enjoyed it so much. I don't. And I'm like, you don't enjoy it. You literally. You took it down as fast as you possibly could.

You were scrolling while you were doing it. And I was like, I'm having this conversation with Aaron in like an hour because I always remember our conversations about mindful eating because it's made such a difference in my life. Just like saying what you say. But 20 minutes is a long time. It's a really long time. The first time I did this, I didn't tell my husband. I was just curious to know. It's not something to judge yourself about.

It's more just like becoming aware of how. fast you eat and I made dinner. He had two helpings, completely cleared his plate in three minutes. And some of you are thinking, no way, there's no way. I kid you not. And I bet a lot of you if you sat down, I know that there's some slow eaters listening to this right now who are like, uh-uh, absolutely not. I can guarantee that you could finish a meal in three minutes while you were scrolling your phone and have no idea, you know, what it is that you just ate. And here's the challenge with the way that we're eating right now in order there's a difference between feeling full and feeling satisfied so there's a difference between feeling full and feeling satisfied have you ever eaten

a meal and being like i'm still not satisfied i still like i'm still craving something more or i feel like i need something else um and so the way in which we feel satisfied about a meal that we're having is a by addressing any cravings that we're having. So if you are cravings something salty or sweet or crunchy or veggies or whatever it is, we incorporate some of that into what it is that we're eating, and then to eat mindfully, to use all of our senses. And when we do that, it sends a signal to our body and our brain that we've eaten and we've had a chance to enjoy our food and that we are satisfied by our meal. If we're sitting there eating dinner, scrolling our phone, your body, there's no way you're

going to feel as satisfied, which is going to lead to you eating even more than your body needs because, yeah, you're not satisfied. Right. It's such a wild concept that just by your mind being other places, you're not being mindful while you eat and you cannot be satisfied. just from doing other things. Like, it's just wild what the brain is capable of when it comes to these sort of little things that you would never think about unless we have these conversations, you know?

People would never think about that. We'll be right back with more off the vine, grape therapy. You're listening to Off the Vine Grace Therapy. I know not everyone has a troubling relationship with food, but you never know if the people around you might be struggling roommates during this time or. you know, you just never know. And so what advice do you have for those who maybe, maybe they're not struggling themselves, but they could potentially know others who do. Yeah. I think that, I mean, with anything right now, whether it's your relationship with food or anxiety, or maybe you have

a family member or a friend who struggled with depression in the past, it's always just opening up and asking somebody, how are you doing? How are you feeling in this time? Depending on your relationship with them and how much you know about their history, you can go into more detail or not. But I think that at the end of the day, communication and connecting with one another is one of the most supportive things that we can do. This is obviously such a challenging conversation for people to have with people that they love because it requires vulnerability and it can be uncomfortable, but it's also one of the most important conversations that we can have. Yeah, because you also don't want to bring up feelings for them of insecurities or make them

feel like their shame around what they're, you know, doing. So it's hard to have that language or know the right language to use with somebody that needs, that might need a little help. Yeah. You know, one thing that is helpful in any type of conversation that we're having with somebody is taking a bottom up approach versus a top down approach. So think about, you know, if you were to go to Jason and ask him to do something for you. And you are like, I don't feel like you've been folding the laundry enough and carrying your weight around the house.

And I need you to start doing X, Y, and Z and da, da, da, da, da, da, da, Jason has shut off. His defense mechanisms have gone up. He's no longer listening to you. He's not receptive to the idea. that's a top down approach to communication a bottom up approach would be you going to him and saying hey i've noticed my anxiety has been like really heightened during this time and i'm i you know went back to the drawing board and was like what do i need in order to support myself during this time so i'm going to like commit to doing a bit more meditation and i've booked in a therapy session

I'm also finding when there's a ton of clutter that that's like super distracting for me. So I'm working hard on doing that. Would it be possible for us to set up a schedule where like you do the laundry twice a week and maybe manage the bathrooms? You're essentially going to them asking for help. Wow, that's huge. When you go to somebody and ask them for help, they're going to be so much more receptive to what you are saying.

So if you're approaching somebody that you think might be struggling with food or your roommate, a family member, and you're saying, it's making me super uncomfortable, you know, that seems like you aren't eating anymore, you're not coming out with us or you're never like open to having birthday cake at a party, they're going to immediately shut down, you know, feel ashamed, feel closed off. Whereas if you go to them and say, I've been worried about you. You're one of my best friends and I care about you so deeply. I want to check in and just, you know, see how you're doing. And if there's anything that I can do to support you, I've noticed that you're not having cake as much at a birthday. And it just makes me, it makes me worried that you're doing okay. Something like that

is going to be a lot more reciprocated. Yeah. I mean, that's a good way to look at it where how you approach every kind of relationship, you know, because I think we all do that especially under stress right now where if we're feeling stressed or anxious and who isn't during this time your approach is so different with every kind of relationship and that's something i think jason and i both have been working on and conscious of because i when i'm when i'm anxious i'm irritable and i've been you know certain if i drink too much wine my hangovers are anxiety and i have to like really watch that because in this time you're like well i might as well open a bottle of wine and you're like oh it's five and then by the time dinner rolls are on your own bottle number two and then so then the next day

you know you're irritable you're anxious and you don't even realize sometimes how you're talking to your partner or yourself even or friends and and you do have to to watch your approach to certain people when when anxiety times are high all right everyone if you know me you know i'm super into self-care whether that's trying to stay active by riding my peloton taking my dogs on the walk or just going about my day. That's why I'm really excited about this next sponsor because they help me stay on top of my game. Super grapes soft chews from human. Super grape soft chews are a delicious way to give you an energizing boost, which is probably my favorite part about incorporating them into my lifestyle. I find it really hard sometimes to get motivated for a workout or just being

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slash vine. I wanted to talk about in this time the stress and anxiety and how people can try and prevent their minds from going nonstop during this weird time we're all living in and what tools that you personally are using that you see success with in this time. Yeah, I'm so glad we're talking about this, I cannot tell you how many people, I mean, obviously this is within the nature of the conversation that I have every day, but how many people have reached out to me to say my anxiety is at an all-time high or I never understood what anxiety was until now I feel like, you know, it's hard to catch my breath or my thoughts or cycling. We can all experience anxiety in a number of different ways. So it feels different for everybody. But this,

current unprecedented as we keep hearing that scenario that we are in right now is causing so much anxiety and it makes sense when you look i'm going to take you back to biology 11 or 12 right now for a second so that you can understand a little bit more about how your autonomic nervous system works so that when i shared these tools that i've got for you today um you understand how they're working. I think when it comes to our body, the more knowledge that we have, the more empowered that we are to feel our best. So your autonomic nervous system is broken down into your sympathetic system and your parasympathetic system. The sympathetic nervous system is incredibly important for normal functioning of our body. And it's what's known as our

fight or flight response. It is vital that we have this system. So I don't want you to stressed about feeling stressed. When the sympathetic nervous system turns on, we're going to see an increase in cortisol running through the body. Glucose is going to move to the muscles of our body, our heart rate increases. And we turn into that sort of fight or flight response where we're going to have survival-based thinking, might be breathing a little bit faster. And really, this is a survival mechanism. It is created to be turned on in short bursts of time. We can go back to that analogy that's always used about, you know, a lion being right in front of us. In that situation, your sympathetic nervous system would turn on. All of those functions that I just mentioned would

happen and you would book it out of the area to try and survive from this lion. The problem is, is that the sympathetic nervous system isn't meant to be turned on for long periods of time. And sometimes it can turn on not because there's immediate danger in front of us, but because there's a perception of danger in front of us. And so what we're seeing right now with all the media that we're getting and all the stories about death, from around the world, we have way more news and way more fear-based stories and information coming at us than any other time in history is that our sympathetic nervous system has turned on and we are in

fight or flight response, which means we're not necessarily thinking logically at the moment. So all those people who are writing their book and putting their course out and doing all the things, it's like we're actually not in that calm space where we are rationally thinking about things when we would ideally be producing that kind of work. our parasympathetic nervous system, which is our rest and digest response, when our heart rate has decreased, our organs are functioning optimally, our digestion is working well, that's the space that we want to operate in most of the time. So both systems are absolutely necessary for optimal health. We need both of them for us to function. But right now, for so many people, our sympathetic

nervous system is on full drive. And when it's on for an extended period of time, we can start to notice things like an increase in anxiety, a decrease in sleep, cravings for food that we wouldn't normally crave, irritability, a weakening of our immune system, and so many other things. So I wanted to share with you sort of eight key tools to help you turn off that sympathetic nervous system and turn on your parasympathetic rest and digest response and all of these are evidence-based practices that we know work and there are things that you can do from home that you can start doing right now they don't cost a million dollars um so yeah i think like in this in this time i feel like people are also making excuses um and i have found myself doing the same thing like

well i can't go to this and i can't do this so i'm not going to do it where there's so many online tools and resources and like we're going to talk about in this podcast that you can do from home for free like so many things that we're that I'm excited that you're going to share some insight for that for us yeah it's really a kind of cool time to obviously not for those who are on the front line working so hard right now and shout out to all those individuals thank you thank you thank you but if you are at home and you're working from home and you've cut down the commute time that you normally have and social time that you normally have, then it is an opportunity for us to practice using these tools,

which ultimately will support you throughout your entire life. So I'm going to make sure that Caitlin has a PDF download of all these tools, but if you want to write them down as we're going along, you're welcome to do that as well. So you have a PDF that I can share. I do. Okay. Amazing. Okay. So the first tool that we can use that is 100% free, and it is always with you is connecting to your breath. So as I mentioned, when our fight or flight response is on, that stress response is on, we start breathing more shallow and sometimes we're holding our breath, sometimes we're breathing more quickly.

What we can do to turn our parasympathetic nervous system on is to mimic the breath of an individual who is calm. I do that with the dogs. Pardon? I do it with my dogs. You do it with your dogs. Do you remember this type of breath? I taught this to you.

I'm sure. I'm sure. I remember what is there a specific? It's called the 5-5-7 breath. Yes. Yes, because remember I talked about how when growing up I had anxiety and I had OCD about certain things and I got so upset that my breath in was shorter than my breath out.

And I was like, if you, if someone could have just told me that was normal, it would have saved me a lot of pain growing up because that was something OCD in me that like really bothered me. So yes, I remember this technique. Oh, yeah. It's so easy to do. And it's something you don't need to be sitting down and close your eyes for 30 minutes to do it. You can be doing it while you're eating, while you're watching a show, while you're having an argument with your partner. You just take a few moments. And all you're going to do is breathe in for five, hold for five, and exhale for seven. Breathe in for five, hold for five, and exhale, for seven. So the trick here is to elongate that exhale. And do we have time for me to show

people? Yeah, please. Oh, I love that. Yeah. As you're listening right now, just close your eyes and take an exhale. And then breathe in for five, four, three, two, one. Hold for five, four, three, two, one. Hold for five, four, three, two, one. Exhale for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Breathe in for five, four, three, two, one. And exhale for five, four, three, two, one. And ideally you would repeat this, you know, up to 10 times, but sometimes even just doing a couple of those breaths. That did wonders for me right now. I've been like short, a little short of breath all day. And I think that's from a bit of anxiety. And that just helped me so much right there. Good. Good. And if you find that you're a little bit anxious and your breath feels a bit tight, you can change this to a four, four, six. So you can do a breathe in for four, hold for four, and breathe out for six. Just as long as that. that exhale is elongated. And this is something that you can do at any time. It's crazy how it's something that we do every day, all day without even realizing it

and how much it can actually help our bodies. I remember going to this girl. Her name's Dr. Melissa in Nashville, a Nashville brain and body. And I had like a rib that was sore and my back was sore and she does adjustments. And she just made me breathe into that one area of pain and just breathing help to me. And I was like, what the hell? it's crazy our breath is magic yeah so just tuning into your breath in that little way i don't yeah i completely believe what you just said because i've seen really amazing things from it um so if there's

anything that you take from this podcast i would say carry the 557 breath with you because you can do it anytime anywhere that's a good tattoo 557 oh my god i have been trying to figure out what my first tattoo should be forever. There it is. Maybe that's what it needs to be. That is perfect for you. You have to do that. Oh, my gosh.

That's perfect. Oh, you just nailed it. Okay, great. We can pause this show. Actually, no tattoo artists are available right now. Yeah, I don't think so. That will be post-corona. Post-corona goals, yeah.

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Okay, so the second tool is practicing mindfulness. So again, this is something that you can do any time. One of the most anxiety-provoking things that we do is obsess about what is going to happen in the future. We spend so much time in future thinking, trying to problem solve about what's happening in the future. And obviously, we need to do this sometimes. But the majority of our thinking is in the future. We're never living in the present moment. And really, the present moment is all that we have because we cannot determine with certainty

what is going to happen even five minutes from now. So to practice mindfulness, all you need to do in any given moment is to connect to your five senses. What do you see right now? Look around as we're doing this right now, wherever you are. What do you see right now? What do you smell? What can you taste in your mouth?

What can you hear around you? And what can you feel? Can you feel your bum in the chair? Can you feel your feet walking on the pavement? Are your shoes tight right now? Are your pants tight right now? Are you feeling a little bit tired? Do you see the light in the room?

I love doing mindfulness exercises during my bedtime routine, especially when I'm washing my face and brushing my teeth. two of the most mundane tasks you could ever do, I can guarantee most people do that and they're thinking either about what happened during the day or they're thinking about what they're doing tomorrow or how quickly they can get into bed. But I would encourage you when you're getting ready for bed tonight to really be in the present moment. I want you to feel the temperature of the water. Get a face cloth and let the water run over the facecloth and feel the steam coming up over your face. Notice what your face wash feels like against your skin.

Notice the smell of it. Is it smooth? Is it foamy? Is it bubbly? Feel the warm facecloth on your face and let it soothe you. Do some 5-5-7 breathing. Maybe put on a diffuser or like some calming music and tune in to. that, forget everything that happened during the day and everything you've read and everything

that could possibly happen and just come back to the present moment and be really mindful. I think people forget just how simple that can, I know it's hard, but, you know, like how the simple steps, because everyone wants to know, how do I do that? And it's as simple as the, you know, paying attention to your senses and things that are happening in that moment and people always want to know, okay, well, how do I do it? Like, that's literally how. It's so easy, but so hard because we are so used to living in our minds and living somewhere completely different than where we are. You can use this when you're eating, when you're driving in the car, when you are having sex, when you are making your

bed in the morning. There's so many everyday tasks that we do that we aren't even doing. We're not even there mentally. And so one of the ways that we can calm our nervous system is by truly being in the present moment wherever we are. We'll be right back with more off the line. Grape Therapy. This is House of Kim with Kim Zolsiak Beerman. You guys, I'm so excited So thanks you guys so much for tuning in this episode of House of Kim We are number one right now Just keep going and going and going and going

I poured my glass of wine at this point, you guys I don't know if that gave me a really bad headache But it's all good, it's okay Be sure to subscribe to House of Kim on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts So you don't miss an episode Don't be tardy for the party That's so funny ha ha ha ha ha whatever grape therapy. You're not going to like tip number three, but I've got about it. Okay. I'm not going to

like it. What is it? Don't drink wine. Well, we already, we already talked about it a little bit. So being conscious when you're feeling more anxiety about alcohol and coffee. Oh, yeah, two of my favorite things. But you're so right. Alcohol's a known depressant. It is a known depressive. And I find when I drink, I get what I call the fear and I always just thought this was normal like drink and then everybody the next day gets the fear where you're like the world is falling apart how am I going to get through this next week there's so many things that I need to be doing I shouldn't be hung over right now why do I feel this way it's like my mind just starts spinning and really that is a sign that in a way it's poisoning your body that's a terrible word but I hear you I like

And then my brain goes to, well, what about tequila? That's an upper. Can I drink that? Then go for the tequila. What I'm, as with anything, right, whether it's food or, you know, anything that we do in life. It's all about moderation. I am not telling you that you need to put away your wine. I still enjoy wine. But I'm just mindful when I'm like feeling on the verge of a panic attack or when I notice anxiety's high or when we're going through a really stressful state, I no longer turn to alcohol. to support me through that because I know that it's actually not going to help. Right. So alcohol no longer becomes the solution. It is a short-term solution. I was going to say that's another one of those short-term solutions. Yeah.

It is. Yeah, it is. It is short-term pleasure that can, for some people, not everyone, result in a longer-term pain. And so sometimes we have to get used to choosing short-term pain, saying no to that thing, in order to have a longer term pleasure. Those are the two peas. You might need a whole other podcast episode on the two peas. The two peas drive all of our habit loops.

So pain and pleasure. So then the thing with coffee, and again, this is very, it depends on your individual body. There's no one size fits all solution here. Some people drink coffee and they feel jittery. They feel more anxiety. And so if in this time and space,

you're already feeling anxious and coffee is elevating that, really try and just reduce your caffeine. So I have Earl Grey tea in the morning on those days so that I'm still getting a little bit of caffeine, but not nearly as much. And I still get that like that, like, what I like the most about coffee anyways. Like, if somebody gave me decaf, I'm not sure if I'd even know the difference. I just like having that warm cup of something in the morning. Yes. Yeah. And there's so many options out there to replace both of these drinks, even if it's just for a short period of time, whether that's like ginger beer or pink lemonade or sparkling water with tons of lime or a virgin cocktail of any kind. Or if you're looking at

caffeine, a low caffeine tea, peppermint tea, a four-sigmatic drink. I mean, like the possibilities are endless once you start looking for them and once you're open to that. Number four is being mindful of media consumption. So I don't know about you, but I turned into a media fiend when this all started happening. I was like, couldn't keep my eyes off of my phone. I was checking every five seconds to see if more people were sick. Like, was it across the border yet? What was going on?

I was obsessed. Like my fight or flight system was on. I was not rationally thinking. I was like, tell me where the danger is. Yeah. And it just obviously stirs up so much more anxiety. So really in this stage, of the game, maybe checking and reading the news once or twice a day, for some people

less. I know some people, it's required in your job. And there's most like a lot of health care workers who are listening to this right now, who are like, I have to know what's going on. And so, of course, this is speaking more to the individuals who have the ability to choose what they're consuming. And that goes across the board. That's news. That's social media. it is a time when you need to become more careful than ever before about what is coming into your phone and what you're choosing to read. Yes, absolutely. That's, I was going to say, even for, you know, the healthcare workers who do need to, or people who do need to stay informed on everything going on in the media right now, it's watching what you're consuming

on social media. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And recognizing that our devices are designed to be addictive. And so in some cases, that really requires us to set up systems in place so that we can't be checking it all the time, whether that's like putting it outside in your car for an hour or plugging it in at night in the bathroom so that you're not scrolling until 1 a.m. And then immediately checking your phone first thing when you wake up. Instagram also has this cool new feature where you can set a reminder. So it will let you know when you've spent 30 minutes on the app or four hours on the app

you decide what your limit is and it will just let you know sort of where you're at in regards to your social consumption yeah i do that mine's on 30 minutes which i need to change because it just makes me feel like like like i'm like a true addict like it's not even noon and it's like telling me and i'm like okay well like 30 minutes is a long time phone and like i forget that i just set that myself so i need to change that but yeah it is a good reminder though absolutely all right So you love The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and of course, Bachelor in Paradise. Monday, the next Bachelor chapter continues, The Bachelor presents, listen to your heart. 20 single musicians will step inside the Bachelor Mansion to embark on an incredible journey

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Number five is to balance your blood sugar levels. So when we think about our blood sugar levels, again, it's a chemical reaction that's happening in our body. And when our blood sugar levels increase and then decrease suddenly and increase and decrease suddenly, we're riding on this roller coaster of chemical reactions happening in our body. So it can really help not only our physical well-being, but our mental well-being to balance those out. little bit and some simple ways to do that is to drink water eat consistently every couple of hours to add protein to meals and then the one that's hard in this moment and that I want to say again acknowledging that I know women already feel so guilty about this is reducing high sugar

simple carb foods so like all the five cent candies and all the like cake and crackers and stuff like that. It's not about not having them, but it's about balancing them out with foods that are going to take our body longer to digest. And it's recognizing that when we eat those foods, it's not about our weight. It's not about like just not gaining weight. It's about how you feel in your body and your mental capacity to handle stress. And so for me, like again, I said, I eat those types of things a little bit every day. Otherwise, I feel deprived and it feels restrictive. So it's not about not having them, but it's about recognizing that if we have tons of them, it's really doing yourself a disservice in so many more ways than just the weight

of your body. Yes. Okay. So that's balancing your blood sugar levels. Connecting with those that you love. So we're seeing quite a lot right now, social distancing, being changed to physical distancing. So still connecting with people over Zoom, making time for phone calls, going for a walk with somebody and just maintaining that distance from them. But this is a big one in regards to having support for those of you who are struggling with anxiety or depression or any of that stuff. Number seven is moving your body. When we exercise or move our body, we're going to release more of those good hormones that help balance stress. But what I want to you to consider in this moment is whether you need high intensity workouts or whether you need

something that is going to be calming and soothing for your body like yoga or the class or Melissa Wood I'm loving her stuff right now it's more Pilates based is this what is her name Melissa Wood okay and she has online programs and a lot of it is just using your body so you don't need to have a ton of equipment. And it's really all of those things that I just mentioned, yoga, the class by Tarantumi and Melissa Woods workouts don't require a lot of equipment, as I said, and connect you back to your breath as well. So when we're already feeling a lot of stress, for some people, a really hard workout will feel good. It will help you feel stronger. It will help you feel more balanced. Whereas for other people, you might feel more depleted. So again,

going back to your own body and recognizing what works for you yeah because it can change every like for me it changes daily sometimes i'll get on my bike and i'll be in the middle of such a hard class and i'm like this me not being able to catch my breath on top of already feeling short of breath is not what i need right now and that's i i swear peloton should be paying me so much money because i can't stop talking about them but like they have different they have different classes and different things where you can do yoga from the peloton like they have the screen they have yoga they have yoga they have meditations on there and it's just like it that it can change every day you don't need those high crazy workouts every day to feel good or stronger like sometimes you need a mental workout like a meditation yeah yes exactly and we've got it in our minds that a workout has to be 60 minutes and you better be sweating and like you better be sore the next day I'd really like to encourage people to change their thoughts about that movement and exercise is about elevating your heart rate. And you can do that going for a walk. You can start moving your body 10 minutes a day, 20 minutes a day. It's better than nothing. And it will really support you in

boosting your mood and reducing anxiety. The last one that I want to talk about isn't probably traditionally included on this type of list. But I think it's really important right now more so than ever before. If you start to notice that you are having problem sleeping, that your anxiety is high and you cannot get it to turn off. Your thoughts are maybe irrational. You have a change in appetite and it's extended more than a couple of days. I'm going to really encourage you to talk to a doctor at this time and to have that medical support because we're in a period of time that is different than any other. And I think that one area in health and wellness where we sometimes do ourselves a bit of a disservice is that we assume that by doing the tools, but some professional tells us,

like the ones I just suggested to you, that we should be able to get ourselves out of a place of anxiety or we should be able to move ourselves beyond depression. And I have personally found that in moments of my life, I was doing all of these things. And I could not on my own get myself out of my space of panic attacks or depression or anxiety or when I had an eating disorder. It was the same thing. I needed medical intervention. I needed Western medicine in addition to all of these Eastern-based tools. And when I say I needed Western medicine, I mean, I needed medication. So I am absolutely not by any means prescribing this to anybody right now, saying that it's the answer, medication for anxiety or depression, you know, is something that needs to be

thought about thoughtfully. It's something to consider with your doctor only. But I want to talk about it because there's still such a stigma around taking medication. And I think that in moments like this, we're much more vulnerable to mental health. issues, disorders, suicide, all of those types of things. And it is not worth being the tough girl, like avoiding the medication, not going that route, like forcing yourself to meditate and do the gratitudes and all of this stuff when it gets past a certain point. Yeah. I mean, I can relate to that. And I think, I think everyone knows because I've talked about it openly

about being on medication for that is sometimes, and that was me, it was I could not. control my anxiety. It was stronger than me. And I think, you know, I tried the meditation and the yoga. And it was just at the end of the day, sometimes it's science. And it's that you're, there's an imbalance there. And it has changed my life being on medication. And again, like you said, like we're not saying, oh, if you're struggling right now, like go get on some pills. Like it's obviously not like that. We're just like you said, trying to have the conversation around that, like, it's it's okay if that's the route you need to take yeah you know what two years ago i had my my daughter brooklyn i went right back to work because i love my work so much and was busy doing

that we had you know james was two and a half at the time life was really wild i was loving it i felt like unstoppable um but i started to have some symptoms of anxiety i started to notice weakened immune system. I got shingles. I kept getting like the flu. Then I started to notice my memory was not working in the same way, but I had released this course and I was like, I just want to get this amazing group of girls through this program. But I crashed. I burned out in a major way. I ended up, you know, being diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and panic disorder. I, I I started having the most severe panic attacks. I was be dry heaving. My whole body would be shaking. I was having thoughts that I needed to leave my family. And it happened over the course of,

you know, like I was getting the flu and colds and the shingles and all that stuff over the course of maybe six weeks. But it went from feeling somewhat manageable to like overnight being something that was so extreme. And even when I started having panic attacks, I refused the medication for at least three weeks because I wanted to try using my tools. I wanted to move my body and prove to myself that I could do it without the medication because like so many people, I had this idea in my head that if I took it, I would be weak. And what I learned in that process is that really medication is just one more tool on this list of tools that I've given you. There isn't an Eastern versus Western approach when it comes to your healthcare. It's about using whatever tools

you need in order to show up as your best self. And really, when we can really thrive is when both Eastern and Western practices are used in conjunction with one another. Because I waited to take the medication, it really truly took me over a year and a half to get even back to the foundation of where I was before. It was months of being stuck in bed with a toddler and a two-year and a newborn at home. I just don't want that scenario for anybody. And so I'm sharing this story now to say, I went on the medication. I'm still on it now. And, And the medication really allowed me to access all of these tools again that I'm talking about. It has made me such a strong coach.

It has allowed me to see both ends of the spectrum. And I really want people to understand that it doesn't make you weak. It is not a, it doesn't define your character or who you are. It doesn't mean you have to be on it forever. And it's really about everyone just feeling. that they can access whatever tools and whatever is right for them in this moment. That's what I want people to leave with today. That is perfect.

That's a perfect thing for people to take away. I feel like you gave us so much in this podcast that I'm just so grateful for. And I know so many people will be because all those tools, like I can't wait to go look at the PDF and practice them because sometimes you just need little reminders of things you already know, you know? Like, and that's what rocket science. It's really not. And just hearing you say those things, I'm like, you're so right. I'm practicing some of them and I forgot some of them. And I'm going to really put those to use during this time because, like I said,

I do need to remind myself of certain things, especially with the, you know, wine is such a big part of my podcast or certain things that I do. And I need to watch like, okay, how many podcasts do you have going on tonight, Caitlin? You can't just use that as an excuse because I really do. My anxiety does come on strong after. a night of drinking wine. Yeah. And it's not about never having it again or not enjoying it, but it is just about knowing in this moment what works best for your body and then being, being bold enough and courageous enough to actually do what you need. Yes, exactly. I mean,

yeah, you're doing it for yourself and that should be your, you know, that should be your number one priority. Okay, we all could use a little time to relax right now, given everything that's going on. Even in our normal day-to-day life, it's important to take time to relax. And what is a better gift than the gift of relaxation? So give the gift with Spawfinder, the world's best-selling spa gift card, and the perfect gift for Mother's Day. Moms everywhere need something to look forward to, don't we all? With a Spawfinder e-gift card, you can almost instantly send a relaxing spa treatment straight to her inbox without ever leaving the house. Perfect for right now. The Spawfinder Network includes thousands of spas, salons, and fitness studios all over the U.S.

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gift cards of $75 or more, or enter the promo code Vine at checkout. That's spotfinder.com slash vine or promo code Vine to save 15% off a gift your mom will love. Well, thank you so, so much for taking the time. I mean, you've got all these things going on and you're a mom and in this time. So thank you. It's such an important message and I love having you on all the time. Always welcome. And next time we'll talk about the two peas.

Thank you so much for having me on. I just want to say for anybody who feels like they need additional support, especially in regards to the emotional eating, if you feel like you're stuck in that cycle of restricting or binge eating or constantly thinking about food, please come on over, follow us at Rob Beauty Talks on Instagram. I also have a podcast called Raw Beauty Talks. You can find it anywhere the podcasts are and I'm going to give Caitlin another free guide with five steps to help you overcome emotional eating and to end that battle with food in your body so we'll make sure that you have lots of tools leaving this episode to support you moving forward that's incredible

you are just you're just a true gem I absolutely adore you and everything that you do and you're just all everything you have to say is always so um important without being over like it's not I don't get overwhelmed listening to you talk about like everything people need to do during you know some hard times it's like all simple things that we can do and and you give us all the right tools and it's just comforting listening to talk about it so thank you so much and everybody I always preach about raw beauty so if you're not I hope everyone that's listening is already following but if you're not go now and thank you so much Aaron I miss your face and it was so nice seeing you too my love even if it's over Skype okay

Okay, bye. I love you. Bye. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday,

exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?