Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: “God Bless America… It’s Fine.” with Stacy Snyder

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

From the hottest Netflix dating show, Love is Blind, Stacy Snyder is on the pod to discuss her rollercoaster of an experience. From getting engaged to Izzy unseen to navigating the real world to going their separate ways and then being brought back together as friends a year later. Although the narrative around Stacy and Izzy's demise was the financial issues, there was much more that led her to say "no" at the altar.  When watching a reality TV show, it's often forgotten that this is a real engagement and a real marriage at the end of it... This is an important decision. By only seeing a fraction of the conversations, people can jump to conclusions and easily misunderstand a person. Today's conversation with Stacy clears up her story, from her voice. What was she looking for going into the experience? What conversations were had prior to the altar? What happened after the wedding? Plus, we find out where she is at now, why the haters fueled her merch, and if Kaitlyn ever gets canceled, be on the lookout for t-shirts. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: PELOTON — Visit OnePeloton.com/home-trial for a 30-day worry-free home trial of Peloton Bikes. L'OREAL PARIS — Bright Reveal Dark Spot Serum and Broad-Spectrum SPF 50 Daily Lotion. Visit Target online and in-store to buy yours today. HONEYLOVE — Save 20% Off at HoneyLove.com/VINE. LUME — Get $5 off your Starter Pack with promo code VINE at LumePodcast.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy. And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. okay i'll admit it i'll do it i've been pretty much behind uh on reality tv lately but i spent the weekend binge watching love is blind just so i could bring on stacey to the podcast and boy am i glad i did it was great to hear her side of everything and what the experience was like for her so much happens off screen on those types of shows so i'll rip that curtain down any chance i get enjoy my conversation with stacey why did i just go so southern there okay well let's just dive into it

because I have so many questions. Let's do it. I literally binge watched it in like two days, which is what Netflix is all about anyways. I don't know if I should say congratulations or I'm sorry. All of it. It's just so funny because I'm like every season, you know, it's like The Bachelor, the Bachelorette.

Like dating shows are going to be messy because dating is messy, especially when you're like trying to speed date into finding out of somebody's like going to be your life partner. Like how, of course it's going to get messy. Of course shit is going to come up. all the like most important conversations and then you're in the honeymoon phase and then it gets real and it's you know that's messy that's messy messy with a cherry on top with a big fat cherry on top so okay you sign up for the show and you know like at this point because you've seen this is season five which is crazy I can't believe there's already five seasons of love is blind but you sign up for the show and at this point know the concept like you know that the goal is to getting engaged at the end right I hadn't seen the show and someone reached out to me on instant and at that point only season one was out what yeah and I feel like season one is very different from I think every season is different from the next yeah so I had only watched like the first few episodes

they're like get the gist of this I'm like wait is this real like these aren't paid actors they're actually doing this and so then I was fascinated by it binge watched it I'm like dating sucks this really couldn't be any worse so sure that's true that's actually a good point because one of my girlfriends lives in New York and she's like, it is impossible to date here. I was like, you should go out love is blind. And she was like, honestly, like at that point, you are having more serious conversations with somebody who's clearly looking for the same thing as you. So you can like not play the games. You can, you know, not do the whole texting back and forth. Like, should I text and should I not? Like, you're just jumping into all the important conversations. And so I get it.

I get that. That's, you know. It could not get worse. So I think that's how a lot of the people on the show really felt though so that's why a lot of people were like ready for it i mean it couldn't be worse than how it is out in the real world so i get it i mean nowadays it just feels like you know you don't really meet somebody out at a coffee shop anymore it's like apps and online dating and tv shows and in 20 years we're going to be dating robots and i i i get i get it what were you looking for in a partner like walking in there what were you looking for on the other side of that wall i mean definitely someone like-minded that's looking for a committed relationship. You kind of assume that's what everyone wants, but you can easily hear people that are in there just like joking around or the questions that

they're asking. It's like the one that was like Mary F. Kill, pancakes, waffles, and French toast. I'm like, I don't care. I don't care. I don't want any of that right now. Right. But the number one thing for me has always been someone that's driven. Whatever that is, whether it's with your family and personal life your career like I need someone where their brain is constantly like going and thinking of how to be creative how to do something better how to start a business that's big for me being family oriented is huge I'm super close with my family so either them being close with their family or being able to jive with mine really easily some of the sense of humor someone that's thoughtful romantic those were like my top view those are really good ones I feel I'm like nodding my head

being like, yeah, that sounds like something I would be interested in too. That sounds great. Good answer. So how did Izzy match up to that and how did he not? Well, what's interesting is Izzy and I didn't really click at first. Like you go on a date with everybody and then you kind of rank them and then they give you less dates with the people that you rank highest with. And we were both in the middle of the pack with each other where we're like, I guess we could see each other again, but we wouldn't care if we didn't. It took us a lot longer to get to the meat and potatoes. I think the stuff that drew me to him are all the things that I didn't just list to you. It's more of like the things that I wasn't thinking about that I've never looked for like emotional vulnerability

being able to communicate in that way. That all threw me for a loop and I think that's what I needed. And then a lot of the other stuff, I'm like, maybe I don't need this. Maybe I don't need this. So that's, it was the opposite of how I usually date. I find that that probably happens a lot in those pods like where you think you have an idea of what you want but it it changes everything so much to just have like this deep intimate conversations instead of you know what you would like of course if you meet somebody in person you want them to be like I'm like driven and making you laugh and all these things but behind a wall it's like you're not as like putting your best foot forward you're like more vulnerable and able to speak about things like not being face-to-face so maybe

you realize in those moments like oh this actually is an important conversation i probably wouldn't have had this and i am liking how i'm feeling i feel more connected to this person through this conversation that's i mean it really is an experiment that you know you guys always say that word but it really is and it's interesting yeah no for sure because it doesn't matter like when you're in there and you're trying to connect with someone it's not necessarily like how well did you do with work this year did you get an achievement award it's more like what did your past relationships been like why did they end like do you want kids what does your ideal family look like like that's not stuff you usually talk about on a first date

and and you're diving into like what was your childhood like and the traumas around that like it's it's really you know you get to the important stuff right off the bat and then you kind of deal with those things later which obviously you guys did and I know that this is a TV show and I know that also this was filmed like a year and a half ago so it must be so weird to dive into all of this now and have everybody watching for the first time like after you're you've already done it and processed it. But obviously they made the storyline very much about personal finances and that was a big concern. So do you think it would have been possible for you to say yes had the financial credit issues not have been an issue? Would that have helped you say yes? Yeah. I think that's a huge

issue. It's the number one reason people get divorced. I don't know how many times I have to say it. I mean, it's just a fact. I was in therapy that was brought up where it's like you need to address this. It was addressed. I just never got the answers until so close. to the wedding. And I think another thing, it's not just like what each other has or spends or has hidden. It's, it's like, the way that we looked at it. Like, I'm like, this is a huge deal. And he's like, this isn't a big deal. That was hard for me to be like, how? Like, how do you connect on that? Because I think this is alarming. And he's like, why? So, right. I think if we were closer to the same page or in the same chapter, it may have had a different outcome, maybe. There's a lot of

variables to that too. Yeah, that's fair. Was it the financial instability or the fact that he waited so long or both maybe the combination of things that kind of bothered you? It was both and that wasn't the only thing that led to me saying no, but there were several instances that I asked about it and his answer was not the truth. And I only knew that until I found out the truth. So when I found out the truth, the truth itself was like, oh gosh, that's a lot. Can I deal with that? And then you start thinking back like, wait, why didn't you bring that up this time or that time or that time to where I'm like, honesty and like trust is huge for foundation? And I'm like, is there anything else you're hiding that has nothing to do with finances or that you just don't think

is a big enough deal to tell me? Right. I was talking about this with my girlfriend because, like, we feel like you're getting this like unnecessary feedback from people watching the show, you know, like the internet's such a nasty place. And there's so many bullies on there. And like, it's so sad that something that actually is important to you that wasn't addressed properly that ended up being an issue for such a life-altering decision that people have to hate on you for it. So, like, how has that been dealing with the negative internet trolls with something that's just important to you? That honestly hasn't phased me at all. There's other things that people have said that I'm just like, where do they get that from? And I'm like, where did they get that

from, but this I stand so firmly by. It wasn't just my upbringing with my family. It's like I had a therapist. I had an attorney that's walking me through all these things where it's like you need to ask these questions. I have my friends that have been happily married for 10 plus years that are like, we absolutely did that. And I don't think that people really look at it as this is the rest of their life. This is marriage. What I have this conversation with someone after dating for a month? No, it's not necessary. But if I'm tying myself to you and let's say I don't know about a gambling problem or a spending problem, that's going to become my problem because we are getting married. So I really don't care what anyone else has to say about it. That's my truth. It doesn't

have to be anyone else's truth. It's my life. So all the trolls can have a heyday. I love that. I love that that doesn't phase you. That's so good because sometimes I let it ship phase me too much and sometimes I can laugh at it too. But it's just people are, you know. Yeah. And it does with certain topics but that one I've also gotten a lot of messages that are like that made me feel more comfortable talking about one of those taboo topics so I mean it is you have to align on things that matter to you if that was like a conversation about religion you know like politics these are things that you again before choosing someone forever and like these are this isn't just a silly TV show where it's not a real marriage you actually are like having you would

have to have a real divorce like yeah this is these are things that like you said you're talking to people in your life that you look up to you're talking to professionals and you're asking the right questions and and that is such a big part money religion politics like you want to be aligned on the same things otherwise it can be a huge problem later you said that there was other reasons that made you want to say no leading up to that? What were those? What other things? Like, are there things that we don't know that we didn't see? Because it feels like that was very much the storyline. Yeah. Well, it very much was a storyline and I'm surprised because there were lots of other things. Yeah. Our dogs, when I say

don't get along, he's got two huskies. I have a doodle. Whenever they were together in our living space, like our shared apartment, when I say dog fight, like, I'm there by myself hearing my dog like scream for his life and I'm having to like get the jaws off of his neck and it happened twice to where we had to move his dogs out of the apartment. And so then in that point, when I'm like, if we get married and you're moving into my home, I don't feel comfortable leaving the house with the dogs alone. So how does that work out? You're not going to get rid of yours.

I can't get rid of mine. Are we going to not live together and be married? So that was like, what do I do with that? I also had someone living with me that had moved in while I was filming where I'm like, what do I do with that? We just, there were a lot of things. After seeing his apartment, it wasn't the stuff he had or didn't have. have. It was more of like what was a priority and what he didn't care about. So for me, I'm thinking,

okay, like if I care about hosting people at my home and having certain things, I'm going to be in charge of buying all of that because he just doesn't care. Like if the TV breaks, if the couch is old and we need a new one, like if he doesn't care about that, that's on me. Those things were just slowly evolving where my mind, it wasn't deal breakers, but I'm like, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh. And then the finance thing was just kind of final straw and it was a fundamental thing that makes sense i mean i just think people need to remember that you were everybody that's going on that show you really have to think about like that this is a marriage and i don't know why people think it's just like a dating show when it's actually marriage like it's not just i think they just

yeah i think they get invested in their rooting for people so it's like if it doesn't work out it's like boo throw a tomato with their head but oh i know i mean i wanted it to work for all of the reasons I want to get married. I want to settle down, but I'm like when these cameras go away, what am I going to be left with? Am I going to be okay with that? I heard that you told Izzy it wasn't going to work. Like you were probably going to say no at the altar like a couple days before. But at what point did you know that it wasn't going to work? Probably when I told him that it was right after that conversation. It was after the airplane date that we had and the dinner. He was like, is there anything that you need to know before wedding? Because the next day or the next

two days, we weren't going to see each other. Right. And I was like, we still don't have that talk. And then when we did, it was just more than just the credit. It was a lot of things where I was asking questions and staying calm during it. But at the end of it, it's just, there were 50,000 questions going through my head. And I can't imagine not seeing you for two days going to the altar and being like, we'll deal with it later. Right. Yeah. So we had talked about it on the phone both nights before the wedding and it wasn't great. I mean, we were both really upset, crying like, oh my God, this whole thing that we've worked so hard for is really crumbling. Right.

But he knew. And I was trying to be there for him and be like, I want to make it work. I don't want you to be humiliated or feel humiliated. I'm trying to prepare you the best that I can. So he knew. So I don't really know why on some interviews he said that he didn't know. Yeah. That's so interesting.

So he knew. And then I asked this more of a production of a TV show kind of question. Like, did they make you go through with the wedding just to be able to say no at the altar? because that is part of the format, or did you have the option? Like, if you knew you're going to say, no, did you have the option to just not do the wedding? At that point, I don't think so, but it's, it's just, there was two, you just kind of feel like there's no way out. Like, it's not just production.

You've got your entire family and friends, a club coming out of town. It's just like all this stuff where it's like you feel like the wedding is almost the point to address to everyone how you feel. And in past seasons, a lot of times it changes every moment. minute as far as who's a yes who's a no. And since it is an experiment, I think we both felt the need to like finish it all the way through, see it all the way through. There's no way the mindset that we were in when I'm like, I don't think I can do this that we could have been like, hey, no one come. Like it was just too much. I actually didn't even think about that. Yeah, you have people

traveling in from out of town. So that makes sense that, you know, in this experiment, you do want to see it through to the end to give it that fair chance to show the audience just kind of that full story otherwise we'd have even more questions yeah absolutely so a sense of closure but also just like the answer to each other everyone that's been involved because your family and friends go through the roller coaster with you right what so before the wedding you guys can't see each other for two days are you breaking like contract rules by reaching out and seeing each other and talking to each other I don't think so I think it's more like a preference like this is how we do this I I don't think it's a contract thing, but I mean, for what we were dealing with, it was like, we've got to talk

because it's just, it's in everyone's best interest that we are talking right now to just be there for each other. It was just the emotional ups and downs. I don't know if it was similar for you, but for us, it was like emotional hiccups. All the time. It was, it's the wildest. Because you, like, you get caught up in the fact that it's a TV show, but then you have to take yourself out of it and go, okay, Zoom out, you're actually a real human being. You're not a character on a show. You like have these real emotions. And it is a lot. It's a lot. So at the reunion, Izzy had a really difficult time answering the question of what happened after the wedding. And you ended up having to answer for him. Why did he have such a hard time answering that? I honestly don't know.

I don't know. It's very clear. And he's talked about it and other outlets. Right. I know Izzy really well. And I think when he gets overwhelmed and anxious, it's harder for him to get the words from his brain out of his mouth. But we both know what happened. We don't have different stories. I just kind of felt the need to step in as his partner still, like, not in the same way, but just to kind of like lead to where he could get his thoughts together and communicate it properly. It's so hard because I'm the same, like, what I'm feeling and thinking is so much that I have such a hard time articulating how I'm feeling sometimes. And then what it's like, was the reunion live? No, no, it was not live. They did it last year live and I think it was sort of a disaster.

so they were like it was a disaster never again never again yeah I was one of the people like waiting on the edge of my seat with my popcorn like in the live reunion I was like come on come on yeah I was with you I feel like you guys also felt like like at the reunion it felt like you guys had like a genuine friendship ish where like wasn't it wasn't like volatile or wasn't like you guys were like no speaking ill of each other but so what happened like after filming and everything like in the past year what has gone on for you guys I mean after the wedding, we were just emotionally a disaster. So there was no way we could even connect because it's like, everything's mush. So we decided to take a week apart to just process, take some time

to reflect and then reconvened to just figure out what we're doing. And in that time, like, I know for him, he said he was like missing me and sad and wanted to talk. But for me, that was the time where I'm processing the information I just got right before the wedding. Right. It's not just do I want to be with you or not. I'm still trying to figure that out. And then it's like looking back to the whole experiment and things that I didn't feel were conveyed when they should have been. A lot of things we were in different pages as far as how do we live together. What does that look like? Who does what?

So when we met up, I was very much in a place of if we want to make this work, I think it's healthiest to start over. Obviously, we know each other. But like start from the beginning. We don't have trust and foundation that starts from the beginning. And he was almost out of his lease like, no, I want to move in. and I want this to be the thing. Like, I don't want to not be engaged. I want to be actually working towards a wedding.

And for me, I'm like, I don't know how that would work. And I've heard him say that he thinks it's because I wasn't in love with him or he asked me that. He knew something was wrong. I was in love with him. I had feelings for him for sure. I just wasn't in a place to love anyone at that point in that way because I was so broken down from the show.

Like the trauma of just the ups and downs. You fall in love. You find things out. you fight it's just like a year's relationship but on fast forward and you're trying to deal with it as if it's not on fast forward which humans shouldn't be doing right yeah it's not your like brain and heart can't keep up with that anyways yeah i think he took it is that i wanted space and i think he took it as i don't want you and so we never spoke again after that and we did not see each other again after that we ran into each other at a bar this last may and our wedding was the may before that

so a year after and I didn't even see him my mom and my sister saw him because I was out with them and they approached him yeah and I don't think if they weren't there that that would have happened I think it would have been a oh gosh avoid or run away yeah but since they were there I think it just kind of like out of that padding of like it's okay and he was so warm and welcoming I thought he would be like I I hate you yeah oh that's so nice though and he was just yeah and I think in that moment it was that feeling again of like we went through so much together we have that on like we're a safe space to each other and just a really weird way yeah that makes sense so when did the show start airing on netflix like i obviously binge watched it but when did it come out i think it was end of

september like 22nd maybe oh so like very recently okay so then was that before the episodes had started airing like now that the episodes have aired have you talked since that yeah so after that meet up where we ran into each other we talked every day called every day we went out. We hung out, not on dates, but like hung out a lot because then after we've had a year of that long to process, then you also start like making things up in your head as far as why you're not talking. Like, oh, he must hate me. And we're never going to see each other again. Reunion is going to be awful. And then it's the opposite. So then you're, you have all these unanswered questions. So you don't hate me. Why don't you hate me? Are we going to be

friends? Is that healthy? Would that be good for future relationships? How do we navigate this? So that's what we've been dealing with from May up until the show aired. And we really just agreed like we're about to go through another whirlwind yeah let's just be there for each other the best that we can in the way that we do know each other which is we have so much love for each other and so we've really been there more as friends and even still like when all of this comes out and he's doing these interviews and is it still like okay between the two of you now it is I think on the first batch of episodes that came out it was more of like that all like rekindling you see each other fall in love where it's really happy and cute and fun it's like oh my

I remember why I fell in love with him. And then as it gets more serious, you're like, now I know why things went the way they did. And then there's more controversy about it. But I think we both just know to give each other the benefit of the doubt and grace because it's what we're fearing on our own from everybody else. We don't need to be doing that to each other. So, yeah, we've just kind of been a team through the thick and thin.

There's obviously things we don't like that the other one says at certain points. Of course. That's, I just feels like really healthy and mature, which is so crazy. It's so crazy for reality TV. Like, why didn't they show other couples? Like the girl, what is her name? Who's the girl that they didn't show getting, get married? All of the, yeah, Renee, why didn't they show some of these couples?

Is it because they had too much to work? Like, I'm like, why didn't they show that instead of Aaliyah who doesn't show up for her wedding and? I honestly don't know. I feel like that's the million dollar question. I don't know. I don't know. That information came out. pretty close to when the show was airing as far as like Renee's like were they in Mexico when you guys like

were all there in Mexico they were there and everything and they just didn't know screen time wow yeah I'm not sure I know there's I have a theory I have a theory reason but okay what's your theory my theory is that some people are going to now go on this show knowing that it's a big show and that if you get married you're going to have more screen time maybe they could tell who is they're like authentically defined love and and they show those people and maybe they're like this person just wants TV time so bad like screw me. I don't know. I kind of think the opposite because they didn't show people. Well, they didn't show people that went far or that got engaged. So it's like you never know. I think before maybe people were like, we're like, I think, okay, so to be real,

when you're in the lounge and dating and in pod land, it does create that animalistic vibe of like, you've got to get to a certain point with someone or you're never going to meet. them. It's not necessarily like for TV time, but you form these connections and other people are dating the same people. So it's this inherent, like, I've got to get to this certain point to survive feeling, even though that's not reality. So I think it's just different. When you're watching it, it's different than when you're actually there and going through it. That makes sense. I always just try and relate things back. I don't want people to think I'm just like trying to make this about me. I try and relate my stories back to like. I do the same.

thing. Okay, so you get it. I'm trying to think of like watching my season back. I'm like, I wish they showed so much more of my love story than like the drama, but obviously that's part of TV. So I feel like for Renee, it would have been nice for them to like watch their love story back and because they're still together, right? Renée and Carter? Yeah, they're not. Well, see, I would know this. I'm so glad I'm here to help you. Why did I think they were still together? I think it might be because there was like stuff about her with someone else, like about being married or something.

But it's not Carter and I don't know the deeds on that either. But she is not with her. Oh, okay. I get so confused. So I also don't really know what was happening on behind closed doors with that. I'm not sure why they didn't show it. See, I probably would know that if they showed it. Do you still have a relationship?

with like is he now like friends yes oh that's so nice okay he ran into one of my girlfriends last night at a bar that was at our wedding and they facetined me together from her uh-uh i can't know it was from his phone but when he when he answered it was him with one of my closest girlfriends like that's so random it's all chill it's all good i think that's is houston the houston is where you live right yes is it like a small like is it small where you run into people all the time so i left Nashville to kind of get away from that because I grew up there. And back then, being in Brentwood, it's like, you go out to a bar and it's like, oh, I don't know you, but my brother, did be your sister's best friend. She's like, oh, my God, I don't care. So I left to come here and I was like fresh meat for the first two years.

But then it's like, once you make girlfriends, you show someone from a dating app, they're like, ew, I went out with him. He's awful. Totally. Yeah. So it is that way. And I'm sure from this season, you can tell it's very small. But for how big Houston is, it's pretty shocking that it's that small. Wow, that's crazy. I didn't know you were living, or you grew up in Brentwood. I grew up in Brentwood, yeah. That's why you were wearing a smash hat. That's what's up. I'm a big friends fan. Oh, my God. Really?

Yes. We had season tickets when I was in high school, my best friends there, so I was just there for my birthday a few weeks ago. Fun. Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. Okay, well, next time you come back, let me know. Yeah, we'll got some be no. Yes, we absolutely will. I feel like there's confusion around this. What do you do for your job? Okay, so full time. I work for my dad's.

company. He is an oil broker and I run operations for his business. So that is my full-time thing. I started teaching Pilates part-time like seven years ago because I was a college cheerleader. I've always been active. I wanted to get more involved in the community and meet people. So I got my cert and have been teaching part-time and you see that on the show. But of course, I'm not a Pilates instructor full-time. So I don't talk about that. And then I have my own business as a stylist and professional closet organizer. I used to work for Nordstrom and Green Hills. as a stylist did you really yeah like so long ago but that's where that whole thing is from oh that's cool okay oh my gosh can you come do my closet is my next question absolutely absolutely send me pictures

first before i sign up for this it's it's not that bad it's my problem is that my for the size of my house like not to my own horn but my house is a decent size and the closet is so small and shitty i don't understand so maybe maybe i need help just organizing we'll get to the bottom of that i wanted to ask if you would do it again like knowing everything all the behind the scenes like would you do that show again i would i got a lot of things out of it that have nothing to do with my relationship like me and my dad weren't that close growing up that's kind of why i moved to houston my parents got divorced we didn't have that strong of a relationship which is part of the reason i also came to work for his company yeah and i feel like when you don't have that close of a relationship with

your dad, you struggle to open up emotionally to a man or talk to them in that way or even be affectionate in that way. And through the whole process, I thought my dad would be like, what the F are you doing? This is insane. I don't approve. That's what I fully expected. And he leaned into it in the complete opposite way that I, I mean, I want to cry just thinking about it. But like, things in my interviews that you don't really see where they talk about that. I'm like, I don't know. he's not very verbal. I've never heard him say he's proud of me or anything like that. And then walking down the aisle that day is like, I'm proud of you. That was the first time I've never heard to say that. Wow. Oh my God. But like I just that for me like seeing him show up guns ablazing for me

no matter what my decision was going to be. Like I can't put a price on that. I'll never be able to replace that. And if anything, I'm so grateful for the show and Izzy because I wouldn't have had that if it didn't happen the way that it did. Yeah. That's really nice. That's like a really beautiful takeaway because I feel like it's always like a thing where dads are like protective of their daughters and like the whole concept of marriage is so weird to me anyways because you're like the man gives is giving you away to another man and it's like I don't know that whole oh my god I've never thought about that thought process oh I hate it I hate that concept now I can't unsee it but at the same time it's like so nice for the and it's a tradition and it's like nice for the dad and it's like a

moment for them to like walk you down the aisle so I try and just like remove that from it but like it probably was such a thought that he had had not had to think about and then you know to actually be in that moment and walking you down the aisle and I feel like that gets anybody's emotions going so I'm so glad you got that too like that's that's a thing yeah that's that's something you know you probably took away a lot from the show but I feel like talking every day in a pod talking to producers talking about your feelings talking about what's important to you talking about your family having your family there during like such a crazy time like it really does make you just evolve as a human absolutely and like build that unit like my family's always been close but they were like

concerned like what do you need we're here for you do you need a get away car do you want a bridal shower like whatever you want here that's awesome so that was amazing so i wouldn't do anything different i wouldn't change it it was not what i expected but it was something yeah of course it's not what you expect like it would never be what you expect like going on a tv show like that is so crazy I want to know like so many behind the scenes questions of like production, but I feel like that would be boring. Like my like my brain wants to know things about like the in the, do they come over like speakers in the pods and like say like you guys can't talk about that like you should talk about this. No. So they kind of let you do free brain, but they do encourage like certain topics per day. They're like you don't have to talk about this. But if we're talking about getting married to a stranger right now, I would focus on this. So it was like values, finances, religion. So certain days where they would kind of give you cues as far as like, hey, just a reminder

this is what you're here for. You should talk about this. Yeah. You could say whatever you wanted in there. They also said, like, we strongly don't encourage you saying what you look like, but if you do, we're not going to, like, kick you out. I was going to ask that, too. Yeah.

Yeah. So I didn't want to. I mean, I feel like that's the whole point. You don't want people to know what you look like. You want to connect for some other reason, like being emotional and vulnerable. Do we connect with communication? Right. But it is weird.

So it's all through microphones. So there's times where, like, someone's mic isn't. working and they're silent and you don't know because you can't see them. So you're like, are they like, are they processing what I'm saying? And you're like, oh, no, I'm here. Or sometimes they don't. And it's like, oh, it's a mic issue. So yeah, that's weird because you can't see anyone's facial expressions. That's so funny because I thought you guys could hear each other just through. I thought it was like a plastic little wall. No. It's like sound. It's soundproof because you can't hear what's going on in the other pods and you're right next to each other. You are right next to each other. So those things are

sound proof. So if you don't hear anything, you're like, hello. Oh. Then there's times where people have walked out of pods for whatever reason. Some people have fallen asleep. So you never know. But it is funny because they time the date so that everyone has equal time with their dates. And it's not unfair, but there is like this really weird voice that comes in where it's like 20 minutes remaining, 20 minutes remaining in your date. Like that sort of thing. Weird. Well, yeah. So you know because then people are like, oh, shoot, we haven't covered these topics like hurry up and like talk about it because you don't know if you're going to get another date with them. That's so true. So okay, now my brain's really going. So yeah, I would

definitely fall asleep if I was in there. Like how long are you in there for? Oh my gosh. Sometimes it's up to like four hours. And what's the like what's something that's so did anything embarrassing happen or like something crazy that we didn't see where you're like, oh, thank God they didn't air that. Yeah. And I thought for sure they would. I mixed people up all the time because the guys all thought their voice was really unique. And it wasn't. There were a few that had unique voices, but some sounded really similar. So they'd come in and recognize my voice and just start talking. So then you feel rude to when they're all like, oh, I'm so excited to see you, to be like, who is this? So most I'm like, I'm good. I'm good. And there was this one time I was

on a date, I don't know, I guess an hour. I'm like, that was great. See you later. Bye. And then I go into my next date. And it sounds like the same person, which you don't do that. You don't have multiple dates back to back with the same person. So I was like, oh my God, we're in the wrong pods. And he's like, no or not. Is this Stacy? I'm like, yeah, I was just on a date with you. He's like, no, I was just on a date with. So I was like, who was I on a date with? And he's like, I have no idea. I still don't know who it was. There were three guys had similar voices. So I know it had been one of them, but I'm so glad they didn't show that some other seasons. They've shown mixups of people's names. And I did it all in time. I mean, that's hilarious. You like have a four

hour date with somebody and then you're like, I don't even know who that was. Thank God, it wasn't that long because at the point where they're longer dates, there was not as many people in the mix. So this is when it's like you're dating a lot of people and they just didn't feel the need to say their name. Okay. Oh, God, that is hilarious. So now what does dating look like for you like in the present time? Like, because that must be a crazy conversation or like, are you dating someone? I'm just going to go with no comment for right now. But in the last year and a half, that was stranger because you can't say that you were on a show, but I was engaged. I almost got married. So when I've gone on dates or dated people and they want to know your relationship history

or your last relationship, what do you say? Because you can't talk about that, but it was recent and I almost got married. So that's tricky. So like you were going on dates, but like that's in your contract. You can't talk about the show obviously because. Yeah. And I didn't. There were certain people that like knew that I was on a show. They didn't know which one. And then some thought, it was cool and like stuck around for it and then some were like i want nothing to do with that and had a problem with it and got really insecure so it was all bad which was what i was used to so we were fine well now i can't wait to see the no comment become something because if it's no comment that means there's something going on there i'm i'm getting right i'm gonna i'm gonna do some snooping or

i'll just like text you later and you can tell me okay okay wait i also wanted to talk about the warehouse that all the pods and living quarters are in like what are your sleeping arrangements we are not sleeping there we sleep in a hotel so that's just a set so the set is where we are at the entire day so not everyone has dates at the same time obviously so if you're not on a date you get to stay in a living room and you can sleep eat chat with the girls play pool there was a little workout area or you might be in an interview and then they had break times where all the girls were in there is there a producer in there like monitoring you guys i mean there were cameras and producers weren't But really in there.

But I'm trying to remember. No, I mean, there were no producers in the pods. It was kind of like free reign. The producers were back doing interviews where you see us like in a little, you were always wearing the same thing. And it's like a diary cam almost. You would go in there sometimes to just talk about connections you're having or your upbringing or whatever.

So they weren't really doing anything in there. Okay. That's crazy. I thought, I thought for sure we just didn't see the bedrooms, but I thought. no for sure like that's where you guys lived it was like 20 minutes away if I can remember but that's just got to be so crazy because you're not isolated the same way they are in like a bachelor mansion where like like you could go to a hotel and watch TV and like no no I mean it was a true experiment we didn't have phones or TV or computer so when you were back at the hotel you're sleeping reading doing a

puzzle taking a shower like we didn't have any devices so it was very true where you don't have an outside life and everything. Okay, got it. And that's another reason why the experiment works the way it does, because even in your spare time, like, you're thinking about those people. You're thinking about what do I really want, like, who are the people that I'm feeling that way with? Because you don't have anything else to distract you. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, my gosh. That's just so. And then how long is the overall filming? I know I've asked other love is wine people who have gone on, but I forget the answer to this. How long is filming? We flew out, I think it was the day after Easter, so mid-April, and then our wedding was Memorial Day of 2022, so I'd say, what, a couple months?

Yeah. But then for some people, like, if they don't go to Mexico, then I would say it's probably, I'd say a couple weeks, maybe. That, well, that adds up. When you walk into Izzy's house and he's got, like, his, they're like, what is it called, lost and found, that whole thing, I'm like, wait, he knew he was potentially bringing a girl back to this apartment. He went there the night before. and said he saw it and was like, I want you to know everything about me. And I'm like, I don't need to know that part. That's so strange. I would have, like, I would have got rid of any evidence if I had like anything. Yeah. And I know him. I know him well enough that when he was saying it, he was sincere and was like

basically like, I did it for you. I don't want to hide anything from you. And I'm like, it's really okay. If you hide anything in this category, burn it, hide it. Give it to your neighbor. I don't care. I don't need to know about that. Unless it's Cartier, get rid of it. And I don't think there was any Cartier in that box. I don't think so either. Oh my gosh. I just can't wait to see what you do next.

Like, what do you think is like the next few months look like for you? Honestly, it's kind of, I want to say unwinding, but it's the opposite. I thought it would be unwinding. But I am just like a go girl. Like, go, go, go, go, go. So business is picked up for my side venture that I do. I started a merch line. Cool.

Oh, I love it. Sometimes love wants to fly first class. I'm going to send you some. I'm going to send you some. I'm going to send you some. I'm obsessed that you made merch out of this. That is so genius. Absolutely.

Well, honestly, I wasn't thinking about it. But when they showed that clip of my dad, that's such a Dale thing to say and that it was on the Netflix profile, I'm like, I'd be a dodo to not make a T-Ey. shirt, even if I sell four, we're doing it. So I've actually had a lot of sales. I'll send you the link, but it's super cute, like easy sweatshirts, hoodies, hats, beanie is very simple. I love it. That is amazing. Where can people buy the merch? Where can people find your closet business? Where can people find you? So on my Instagram, I've got my link tree that's got the website for the closet audit and it has the link for the Shopify account that has the merch. I've tried to

post about the merch. We launched, I think, a week ago, a week and a half ago. But all that That's in the bio of my Instagram. Okay, perfect. That's amazing. Yeah, so get your little holiday fix. All of my friends are getting stocking stuffers of your merch. That's amazing. Amazing.

I've got a Botox one. And I can't, what are your thoughts on this if I did another Kroenik that was like, I'm expensive and so is my Christmas list? Perfect. Would that work? Or is that stupid? No, it's amazing. Well, first of all, I'm all for a woman having their moment and being like,

I'm going to make hay while the sun shines. and, like, take what is, like, people are laughing at and make money off of it and roll with it. I'm obsessed. That's how I sleep at night where I'm like, I'm just going to laugh my way to the bank with my check. Yeah. People hate so many things about me, but people are buying it. So, God bless America, it's fine. That's what I'm calling this episode.

So God bless America, it's fine. That's amazing. Roll with the punches, baby. I can't wait to rock your merch. I love it. Thank you so much for being a guest. Is there anything that we didn't talk about that you wanted to, like, clear the air on or did we touch on everything? I honestly think, like, one of the things that my sisters was talking about, my friends are like, you are so misunderstood.

And like, you have so many people that get you and the people that follow you love you. And I've had people like, stop me and message me to be like, thank you for saying this or being bold. And then there's the other part of the coin, the other face of the coin, where it's the opposite. And people thinking that I'm definitely from a privileged family, but the way that I was raised was very much like, you know the value of a dollar. If you want something, you get a job and you work for it. They didn't hand me things. I had a nice home, but I wasn't handed things in the way that people think that because

of the character that I look like where my dad sitting on a nice car. Was that his idea? No. I knew it. No. Sitting on the car. I was like, this is so funny.

Oh, my dad was so like, ew. Like, ew. I just, that whole thing. Like the tour through my closet, like, I don't care. But it was like, oh, let's look in here. I just think that and like being a mean girl or being a bully. I'm so misunderstood because there's so much context that's left out. I am not confrontational.

I am more so the person that I'll take a beating if someone bashes me. but if you're insulting my sisters or my family are like my friends, I'm probably going to say something. So what people see on the show, they just think that I'm entitled and rude and think that I'm better than anyone and can say whatever I want. And that could not be further from the truth. Like, if I'm going to say anything, it's for someone else. It's just people forget it to show.

There's got to be a good guy at times and a bad guy. I don't regret anything that I said. I just think people really need to keep in mind there's so much that you don't see. or like so much i always tell people that too like like the amount of hours they're filming and then you see like an hour and a half of it once a week like what it's you know what i mean like they're they're filming like at all times and then you're just getting a little snippet of and they need a storyline and it's a tv show and yeah and then it's like you need a place to gather let's do a barbecue like if i was hosting a barbecue i would invite certain people that

i want my fiancee to me i wouldn't go with all the people that i don't have the best feelings towards that say things about me and then let's just drink and see what happens like no yeah that's true that's not normal i can think of like a handful of people i would not want to be drinking in a room with and have cameras around no it was that it was that no no no ma'am that makes sense well i understand you and i know all of your intentions are good and you're i love what you're doing i think it's just amazing that you're you're just rolling with it and making merch i love it if if something ever happens to me where god forbid i get canceled i'm just going to make merch out of whatever made me canceled you should start now you doesn't

have to happen for you to make merch i'll help you okay yeah you're right okay good because i'm busy i need help thank you oh i love it to the shop of five yeah there you go this is my side that's you can take a percentage thank you love that look at what we did here there's a couple of business women absolutely well thank you so much Thank you for having me. And thank you for going and buying my wine. That's so nice. I'm going to send you more.

And, yeah, I will definitely send you more. So text me your address. Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Seriously, it was a blast. It was a nice little end to the drama. And I hope you have fun with your little IV after I'm one.

Oh, God. I can't wait. I need, this bitch needs to get hydrated. Hydrate yourself. Thank you so much. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday.