Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Growing Together with Shawn Johnson and Andrew East

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Kaitlyn’s favorite Nashville game night hosts, Shawn Johnson and Andrew East, are in the studio ready to open up and discuss everything in life, love and beyond. Marriage has its ups and downs, and these two are not afraid of riding that rollercoaster but it's not easy. With a baby on board, these two share how they navigate their different parenting styles, why Shawn will “clap back and delete” comments on social media, and how often they think married couples should have sex. These two have gone through some massive growth and change within the 10 years of their relationship…S the big question is: How do they do it? Shawn offers some unconventional advice to Kaitlyn about her love life so let's all stay tuned to see if she takes it! Through having a relationship-centered podcast, they've learned a lot about couples and share the one question you CAN NOT ask. At the end of the pod, a simple game of 'Yay or Nay' leads to the realization that Kaitlyn might need new friends and fewer psychics. Stay connected, Vinos! Watch on the Off The Vine YouTube channel  Follow on Instagram @offthevinepodcast  Join Our Off The Vine Facebook Group  Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: JUST THRIVE - You can save 20% off the dynamic duo bundle of Just Thrive probiotic and Just Calm when you go to JustThriveHealth.com and use code VINE at checkout. PELOTON - Try the Peloton App today FREE for 30 Days.  90 DAY: THE LAST RESORT SESSIONS - Listen to the 90 Day: The Last Resort Sessions podcast wherever you get your podcasts. WARBY PARKER - Try 5 pairs of glasses at home for free at WarbyParker.com/OTV.  HINGE - Download Hinge and share your Dating Intentions to find someone worth deleting the app for.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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wherever you get your podcasts. Warby Parker, try five pairs of glasses at home for free at Warbyparker.com slash OTV and Hinge. Download Hinge and share your dating intentions to find someone worth deleting the app for. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. Thank you, guys. for coming driving. Thank you for having us. It's so nice to have people in person and it's so nice that you guys live in Nashville and you can just drive over even though I live in freaking Kentucky. It feels like I'm so far out. But yeah, I'm like, I just want to be closer to people because it really makes me, like, I don't go do as much stuff because I'm like,

well, then I got to drive and that's like a 30 minute Uber and blah blah blah. Like, I just want to come to a game night so bad. I've only been to one and now I'm like, can single people come? Yes. You're the crowd favorite, dude. We need you there. Game nights are where I really shine, and I've missed so many. I'm always either out of town or there's something going on. But when it's the next one coming up, isn't it? It's supposed to be this month. We're behind. We need to put it on the books. We don't have a schedule, so we'll work with you after the show. Yes, please, because I really want to make one. We're trying to do beach volleyball this time. I'm out. Come on. Beach volleyball? Why not? I am coordinated. I can

dance. I'm good at games. Sports, not my thing. You think I could play beach volleyball? Well, you're an athlete. No. No. Yeah, but you have an excuse. You'd be like, oh, I couldn't get my hands in the way. It's such a weird, like, group of people. It'll be great. It'll be fun. Okay. I'm actually not bad at, what's that one? Volleying. The ball. I don't know. Nice, nice. Damn it. Okay. Volleyball, I'll just have a couple glasses of wine and we'll get going. But it's so funny, because I talk about your game nights, even though I've only attended. one or maybe two i talk about them on the podcast a lot yes i just love that you guys do that and you're so busy and you have so much going on but you make time for friends and it's just so fun

because you guys do like food trucks and drinks and games and you have the best crowd of people that comes over and everybody's got like the best energy and bringing them all together it's just so much fun thank you so it's almost the best we're missing you i mean we're all kind of just somber without your presence i picture like if i'm not there i picture you guys just all pouting right. I was here. Yes. Yes. That's what it is, right? Yes. Oh, gosh. Okay. Congratulations. Thanks. I know you podcast all the time and do social media all the time. So I'm trying to not ask you all

of the same questions all the time, but cats do. Yeah, we're like two days apart. Yeah. What is her two days? I think the 13th. Yeah. Ours is the 19th. But we're doing. Yeah. So you're doing a scheduled scheduled C-section. Because you've had a C-section before you can do that again. Is that what it is? Yeah, so we, I tried to, like, birth our daughter. Yeah. And went 24 hours, wasn't working. Oh.

Ended in a C-section just because she was stuck. Yeah. And they said it was more so because of, like, size. And then my son was bigger. So we scheduled. And they just said, like, just do that again. With this guy. Yeah.

That's just going to keep happening. Yeah. So we're scheduling. Okay. Yeah. You're scheduled. That's so exciting. It's so nice because it's like, this is your third.

You know what to. But I guess you don't. I guess you don't know what to expect. You never know what to expect in a delivery room? Never. It's terrifying. Do you know what? You're having a boy?

No, we don't know. Oh, you don't know? No. We're gonna, not going to find out. We did it with our first, not with our second. So we did one of each. Okay. And then now we have boy and girl.

I loved the surprise. It's really hard for me not to like be very type A and get everything ready. Of course. But do you have a feeling? Yeah. I think it's, if it turns out to be a boy, it'd be the biggest surprise ever. But we think it's like 90% a girl. Really?

Yeah. Just because. you compare it to how you felt the first time? Yeah. For whatever that's worth. People say it's not accurate, but it's hard not to It feels exactly like my daughter's pregnancy. And my son's pregnancy felt completely different. I tell you what, though, freaky things happen in the delivery room. It's like, you never know what to expect. The whole thing is a play-by-play, like game time decision, the doctor's doing so-and-so. We just had a friend give birth. You're like up there with a whiteboard?

All right. It's halftime, guys. Let's pivot. We just had a friend who gave birth. Apparently, their bladder got, like, jammed up or something like that. So it swolled up and held four times a normal amount of pee. Like, think about that. Because the bladder, her bladder was in the wrong place after delivery. Oh, my gosh. Which just happened. I mean, a woman's body is so crazy.

It's wild. I always think about this. And it's one of those things where you know when people get high and think about outer space. But I always feel high when I'm trying to think about how a woman's body can just create a brain. Like you just grew a brain in your stomach of a child. and you know to grow nails and like toenails and fingers and lungs and veins and what? Eye lashes. High lashes?

Eyebrows. It's crazy. I remember when I was freezing my eggs, it really took my focus away from like my body dysmorphia. Yeah. And it made me go, wait, our bodies are so cool. Yeah. And I focused more on that than, you know, the stupid shit. How many eggs did you freeze?

Is that a weird question? I don't know. No, it's not a weird question. Um, I was 32. They said for my age at 32, if I got over 10, that that was really good. And I think I got either 14 or 16. That's amazing. Oh, she's fertile. I'm fertile. Okay. Probably not anymore, but that's the point, right? So I froze the eggs. 14 to 16 babies? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're all good eggs. Yes. You know it. Just popping them out once I'm 40. They told you they're all good eggs. No. No. I don't think I'll know until I try and use them. Is that the scary part? Oh, dude.

Um, so if you're, the older you get, the less age, eggs are able to get. Yes. Andrew still says he doesn't understand how, um, babies are born or periods happen. And I was like, I mean, the whole thing is, yeah. It's a lot. I have a general concept, but the timing, I'm like, this, this doesn't add up in my life. Yeah. It's all just a lot.

But I don't even know how the frozen eggs and worked and I studied it and researched it and, like, talk to my girlfriend who's a fertility nurse. Yes. I think that sounds right. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, I'm hoping that I don't have to use them in one day Because I'm like, women are having babies so much later in life now And there's the frozen eggs

And I'm just like, I don't know If it's not in the cards, then I'm going to die It's in the cards I was trying to not be dramatic And I was like, no, I'm going to be dramatic You want to be a mom Yes I get so scared though because I'm just like 38

And I'm scared and I'm like watching the world burn down But I don't bring that up because you guys have kids And I'm not going to make you scared more scared than you already probably are but it's a scary world it is a scary world but you would be a phenomenal mother thank you for saying that i've seen you around your best friends kids i mean just everything i love babies so much even our daughter when she was just born yes yeah i love i love babies i love kids i really do believe i was like i'm supposed to be a mom it just scares the shit out of me but um would you ever just go ahead and do it yes do it i've thought about that did

you talk about how many kids you wanted was three in the cards yeah I always said I wanted two or three. Yeah. I'm an only child. And I gravitate towards like Andrew's family, like the sibling dynamic. My parents are my best friends. But I wish I had that like adult sibling relationship. So I've always said two or three.

You've always had a different number. We had one and I was like, this is it. I don't want any more. Enough for me. I work here. It's stressful and overwhelming. And then. Yeah.

And then she was like, I think I want to have two. I was like, great. Like, my game playing was five. Oh, shit. And then it's, uh, when we were dating, he always wanted five. Dude, but they're fun. Like, they're fun. They're a good time.

Yeah. I mean, yes. Yeah. It's one of those things where I feel like, you're like, how am I doing this? And it's so much, but you wouldn't change it for anything. Yes. Exactly. Yeah.

And I will say, I feel like we'll be done at three. Yeah. We still take our babies everywhere with us. Like, we just took them to Greece. We, we travel. Oh. with our kids. Yeah.

And I feel like traveling with three, how do you even do that? You'd have to do like one parent with the youngest and then one parent with the older two. My brain can't like process how hard that would be. I can't even handle myself traveling. And sometimes I bring my dog and that's a lot. Yeah. No, bringing a dog is way more everywhere. I will say it was when we traveled with our dog, it was a lot harder than traveling with a kid.

Okay. Because with kids, you can plan for what you know keeps them busy. How do you guys deal with parent shaming on the internet? Because I always joke that it depends on where I'm out in my cycle with how I deal with trolls. Because sometimes I'm like, that's hilarious. And other times I'm like, I'm like, Motherfucker.

But how do you guys deal with the parents shaming? Because if you're on social media and you have kids, you're getting parent shame. There's always going to be people saying, you know, do it this way or why are you doing this? How do you two deal with that as a couple? Does it phase you? First of all, maybe I put my blinders on and I'm like an ignorance is bliss kind of guy. But you were talking about I don't have kids because the world is burning. and it's like dark

I'm sorry by that the one minor which I don't know it might be true but also I'm like well I'm just going to focus on what I can control so I don't

like the parent shaming specifically very rarely do I get riled up Sean usually will have to have to some discussion she'll be I'm about to clap back at these people

I'm like take a breath yeah because like you know how it is you respond and then it only fosters more of that discussion. It either fosters more or they apologize. And I like that

chance. I would say after our first, like after having our first kid, it really bothered me because I didn't know what I was doing. Right. So when people are validating all your insecurities. So when everybody's like, you're doing this wrong, I was like, oh my God, am I actually doing this wrong? Am I doing something wrong to my child? Right. And then

come the second, you gain more confidence, you've now kind of gone through it. We had this circle around us that we trust, like pediatricians. and, like, everything. Yeah. To where I can laugh it off and be like, I don't care if you attack me. But the second, like, people start going after, like, our children.

Oh, I would lose it. I am done. I'm like, goodbye. There really is something to the mama bear name. Yeah. That something probably comes over your whole body. Oh, it just, it turns my soul into fire. Yeah.

Yeah. I would be the same way. Yeah. It's super interesting. I told my friends who are just now having kids, I'm like, yo, it's different being married to a mom. Like, it's a whole thing, like, they'll, like, there's this aggressiveness or, like, intensity that displays itself, which is amazing.

Right. But also, you're like, as a husband. Yeah. Because sometimes I'm on the receiving it. I'm like, okay. You, like, can't control it. It's literally, like, a switch that flip. It's stronger than you.

It is. And it's the whole, like, throw yourself in front of a moving train. I wouldn't think twice. Yeah. Like, it's absolutely not. But that's what makes you a great mom. Thanks. fierce little bad bitch

and you don't mess around but we're gone when you know that's good good keep them in line I will say if I ever like respond to you know that parent shamers mom shamers we share all of our social media for like work and stuff yeah I always have to like delete it really

quickly like the whole conversation like Andrew can't see that I responded clap back delete I feel like same about like Alicia my podcast producer I can stop saying my podcast producer now because everyone knows who Alicia is And Maggie, my assistant. Yeah.

Because they're probably like, what do you doing, Caitlin? I'm, like, having the most, like, deep conversations with a troll, being like, what is your inner child needing right now? Meanwhile, it's like some Russian bot that's not, like, it's like a computer. Yeah. Just being sensitive and, like, trying to get an apology out of them. Same. Okay, Hinge. Let's talk about it.

It's the dating app designed to be deleted, okay? And isn't that really the goal? You meet someone and then say bye bye to the app. So I know a lot of my friends love using Hinge specifically. One of my producers, Madison, actually met her girlfriend on Hinge and promptly deleted the app. Actually, I think it was her girlfriend's dog pick that did the trick. So, hey, hot tip. Include the pups, K, not a photo with a fish.

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I love the honesty. We love dating with no games and meeting people who are on the same page. So download Hinge and share your dating intentions to find someone worth deleting the app for. Okay, you guys know how I love talking about therapy on this podcast. And I love talking about all things relationships. I also love watching reality TV. So put it all together. you've got the new official 90-day. The Last Resort Sessions. It combines your favorite 90-day couples and

couples therapy. So that sounds interesting. On 90-day, the last resort sessions from TLC, well-known couples from the show, have reached their breaking points. They're all at a retreat in couples therapy, and at the end, they have to decide either to break up or stay together. So after each episode, the couples' therapists who are actually in the room with the 90-day couples, come onto the podcast to share what happened. So they give their takes. what the couples are each facing, what they're going through, and how to deal with issues of cheating, sex, and communication in your own relationships. So, I mean, everyone deserves a healthy relationship. So come for the drama and stay for the therapy, you know?

Hey, I'll take the therapy, whatever I can get it. So go listen to 90 Day, the last resort sessions, wherever you get your podcasts. You just took like a social media sabbatical, yeah? I did. I should have gone longer. I could have, but I'm now slowly but surely coming back. So I did two weeks because. I just knew there's

going to be, you know, when you end a relationship in a public eye, I've already done that before. And now you don't have control over your algorithm. All of a sudden, us weekly is popping up, and I'm like, I don't even follow you. So I knew it was going to be this. I knew I was going to be tempted to read the comments. I knew there are people, which there are

so many of them, because I saw a couple that are going to be like, Jason dodged a bullet. There's going to be a lot of noise. Obviously, a lot of support and love too, but it gets drowned out sometimes. So I was like, I'm just going to take two weeks. I'm not going to go, what we call here on the podcast shopping for pain. So I chose to not go on it. I honestly was like, why am I okay? I'm like, holy shit. It's because I'm just, I was surrounding myself with friends. I went

home and saw family. I stayed off social media. I was meditating. I was working out. I was doing all the things that, you know, make somebody feel at peace. So as soon as I like opened it back up, I immediately got anxiety. And I was like, why am I here? But, you know, the world keeps on spinning. And I had to get back on there. I love entertaining. I love. talking to nobody but thinking it's everybody. And so now I'm just like, I'm not going into DMs. I'm not scrolling what pops up immediately. I'll be like, oh, if it's a friend or like it,

and then I try and not scroll. And then I just do my thing. It's hard. It feels good. It does feel good. Have you guys ever done a social media break? I freaking, no, I love social media. I'm like, I'm into it.

I get that. I get that. I'm into, like, YouTube specifically. Yeah. We have a pretty good relationship with it where we went into the Instagram office is I don't know seven years ago like a year into when we first started putting a lot of time into this and the first thing they said to us was the best way to do social media is to create more than you consume and this was like from Instagram HQ and I was like yeah I like that take so we spend I love it from the like artistic video editing styles and even business side of it I feel like you would like yeah so I haven't felt the need to yet but I like the community aspect but I take breaks. That's great.

Like I need to. I'm a consumer, though. Yes. I think that's a good self-awareness moment. Yeah. Yeah. I am mindless and I consume too much and I go, I read the DMs. I read every comment.

I also have this, like, protective feeling over our followers. So I go through every comment because I don't want anybody reading something that isn't good. I get that. So, yeah. I get that. I self-inflict a lot of pain. Yeah. We all, well, except for Andrew.

You know, that's great, though, that one of you can love it like that. It is your careers also, and it's how you get to do what you're doing. And, you know, it's great. But that's good that you can take some breaks and that you can just be the champion. I think I always take a break after babies. Yeah, which is good. Big life transitions. Gosh, how do you guys deal with such significant changes and grow together?

That's the best part, dude. That's the best part, man. I mean, we... That's sweet. we've been together for 10 years yeah freaking dang dude that's a third of our lives at this point wow uh and it's not always been fun no of course not excuse me

how do you summarize it I'm curious what you give me a brief of the last 10 years I agree I agree with you I would say it was like the cliche dating experience of like you just become smitten and blind to everything yeah of course we got married and got thrown in the deep end where he went off to the NFL.

I went and worked basically remote for a year. It was so hard. We've gone through like massive up and downs within our relationship. But I think, I honestly think in the past year or two, probably ever since having our second kid, we've just had such an intention of like protecting us.

Wow. So like we work really hard on it. But I will say the massive transitions, especially a kid, are really hard on a relationship. Well, so when you said that about since your second kid, you guys have like intentionally protected yourselves. I think that's so cool because I will say I have so many friends that have had two babies and I know that's so hard on just like any relationship, no matter how healthy you are,

but it's that's a lot and it's hard to prioritize yourselves. And I just watched a clip on Instagram, huh? It came up. But it was so cool because again, I didn't follow this account and somehow it showed up first thing on my page. And it was a woman talking about lust versus love. and how lust is like this euphoric phase when you first meet and the smitten and the like nothing can you don't see anything wrong with each other and you get all cute and then love as she said love is a choice i'm trying to learn a lot about like codependency and like actually just what healthy love looks like

and she said the way you would choose your own needs and happiness you would want that for the other person but you can't choose yourself more because that's selfish but you can't choose the other more because that's codependent so you have to equally want the happiness that you want for yourself for your partner and i feel like you guys are figuring out how to do that that's interesting i like i think i think the biggest pivotal point in our relationship was now that you say that when we first started talking about what we want to do with our life and like so i think we've told you about like our goal setting system we take everyone yeah it's like a day that we just sit down and it's like hey what are your dreams and it's not really like a 10 year plan that's too overwhelming it's just

we did it the first time just for the next year yeah of like what our goals were yeah and then after that first year then we had kind of an idea or something to gauge against of like oh hey we wanted to see friends two times a week and we wanted to make however much money or we wanted to travel however many times this year and like you're able to like tweak it up or down like no five five travel trips is too much let's make it too and then then it like you can really dial in but it's a special process because I understand what her goals are and then she understands what my dreams are and then it's kind of cool to see the overlap and the overlap has increased I think more and more over the over the last couple years and and then beyond that

it's uh this has been rocking my world recently I heard I heard that the uh the Hebrew word for Eve so like Adam and Eve yeah from Genesis right is um it means benefit Adversary. Oh. And so like, didn't not see that coming. I know. I know.

But it's like interesting because there's a lot of friction between Sean and I. It's like way different skill sets, interests. Right. Parenting styles probably too. Right. And it was always like a black and white. It was like, oh, we have to do it Sean's way or we have to do it my way. But then like as I've been mulling over that concept, it's like, oh, no.

Like we both bring valuable, needed perspectives to this issue or whatever we're talking about. and like how can how can that refine the vision or our decision you know what I'm saying yeah that's really cool I am tracking because my brain is so like kindergarten I was like because I pictured two hula hoops but I do because I've just done so much freaking therapy where I'm such a visual person and like I think you guys might be the same where you write out those things and see them and you see how you can come together what would make each other happy what would make you happy as a couple and that's something that I've done in couples therapy where you both have your

hula hoops and then you merge them together and you know how it does that little middle circle and you see what you can do together while also doing individually what would make you happy and it does make you realize how different you are as individuals and what does fill up your cup versus his I did really want to ask the question about having different parenting styles because I know you guys are so open about all the stuff on your podcast which is cool first of all I don't know how you do it you parent together you work together you podcast together traveled together. You did everything together, and you're so cute.

But how do you deal with that? Like, is that the same kind of process with writing things out and coming together and having these conversations, whether it's goals or parenting? No, in parenting, we do that the least, to be honest. We're working on it. We're getting better. I would say, for me, the thing that, like, rocked my world the most when we started, like, really working on it.

Because, like you said, it's this constant rebalancing of the scale. Right. Of, like, are we spending too much time separate? Are we spending too much time together? Are we focusing too much on ourselves? Like, whatever it is. We're constantly analyzing that. But we did a couple's therapy session once.

And to summarize it, she basically asked why we fell in love with each other. Like, what were the, you know, qualities that we loved? And then later on, she was asking, like, why we were arguing so much. And it basically came down to we married opposites, which we all tried. Right. But then you get into this phase of life where you try, you get annoyed with those opposites. And you try to make the person the same as you. yeah yes instead of realizing that the reason why you love them is because they're different

and so you easily forget you can very easily yeah and so we constantly are trying to have these conversations of like what hobbies do you love andrew that you can go off and do with your buddies and get away from the house that like make you you and vice versa but as far as like figuring it out the parenting styles that's harder because you're so protective over your child and it's no longer like affecting you it's affecting a human being right your offspring yeah not just a human being your actual loins i don't like that yeah i don't like that you're loins i don't know that came over so like different parenting styles like attack the most personal part of you yeah because you're like this is affecting the rest of their life as a mom i'm only a dog mom

but but i feel like you would be like i have the maternal instincts like right We just got to be so hard. And my girlfriend, I don't know if this will help you at all, but her motto in life is Daddy does it different. Yeah. And she just has to accept that. Yes. And which I think we're getting better and better at.

Like we've both acknowledged more recently after the second kid that we're just like, we had different styles. But I will say to a certain extent within work, within marriage, within our relationship, we've kind of learned just like what lanes we own. Yeah. And we're just like, okay, you own this lane. you get the say or like we'll have a conversation but you get the same right and we're kind of figuring that out with him parenting too yeah it's fun i mean there's a massive amount of sacrifice

that goes into both so she does a great job and we've collectively figured out a system where it's like okay sean really likes uh to hang out with friends so like let's schedule she used to before kids be able to do that four nights a week right but now that's not reasonable so like we'll block off this period on the schedule for her to do that thing she loves it's like an hour or two hours right we have a rule like if it's before 7 a.m. or after 7 p.m. when the kids go down, I could pretty much do literally anything I want. It's kind of the rule. You can do anything, anything you want, Andrew.

And I'm like, anything. But it's like, you know, 6 a.m. So that limits a lot of the things. Exactly. It, uh, when you have kids, it brings out massive stylistic differences. It's like, I can't even imagine. Yeah. You thought you were picky about food before.

Right. And now you're like, oh my gosh. And it brings out all of your traumas. And it brings out your up your upbrows. upbringings and it brings up your scars and you it just it brings up so much that you can like avoid before you have kids yeah that you can no longer avoid and you have to like figure it out it just bubbles up to the surface and comes out and yeah that's I was thinking that I had that written down actually about how it probably brings up so many things from your own childhood

that you're probably so aware but I think that's so cool where we're at in life with like our generation is even just this conversation is people wouldn't have these conversations 30 years ago. And it's cool because that alone is going to help the next generation and being so self-aware and being like, well, this is where we struggle and this is where we thrive and this is where we try and work on us together. Even just saying that brings up trauma and childhood is like a huge awareness to even just have in the back of your mind. We had a pretty good laugh. Not too long ago, a few weeks ago over that exact thing. We're like, it seems like our parents' generation was like, nothing's wrong. I'm perfect. It's all good.

And we're like, we obviously can tell it's not. So here I am. These are my flaws. I see a therapist and nutritionist. I always call it setting the bar in hell. Just set the bar in hell. And then you can only go up from there. But that's, it is true.

My mom, like, always hair done, makeup on, outfit together. Everything's great. And you sit at your tea party. Like, I'm like, how did you survive? No. I need to be like, hey, I am a shit show. I'm a hot mess today. My mental health.

is in the toilet. Everybody, let's talk about it. It's crazy. And I'm just like, how did that happen? Because my mom and dad were the same way. I mean, my parents, for the most part, actually loved talking about their feelings, but overall, like, still needed to be put together. I'm like, how did this come out of that? Same. That's pretty crazy. All right, Baylands, do you make your eyes happy? I don't mean, looking at a gorgeous view or watching funny dog videos. I mean, do you have the right eyewear to take care of your eyes? When was the last time you had an eye exam? I actually just did a few months ago, okay? It's important. Well, now it's the time because Warby Parker offers everything you need for happier eyes. Eyeglasses, sunglasses, contact lenses, and eye

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And you can learn more about this groundbreaking company. I did a good gut health episode from December 21st, where I went into depth with Tina the co-founder. It was so informative. And right now you can save 20% off this dynamic duo bundle of Just Thrive probiotic and Just Calm when you go to Just Thrivehealth.com. Use code Vine at checkout. And while you're there, be sure to check out all their other research-based gut and immune health products. There's even a probiotic for your little for your babies. All with the bottom of the bottle, guarantee. What's your take on love, Caitlin? Oh, God. I want a partnership that has like the right amount of love to choose each other. And I saw a psychic the other day. Wow. And she tells me

you have really good luck in career, in finances, in friends, in life. And it, And she goes, but you are not so lucky in love. I said, yeah, no shit. Are you sure she doesn't just watch or read the tabloids? She is literally a witchy vibe on the side of the street in L.A. who has no idea who I am. And she nailed it. But I think from divorced parents, I had a really unhealthy first relationship that totally skewed my vision of what love should look like.

Because I thought, I love him and he loves me. So why is he treating me this way? It must be what it is. And nobody told me otherwise. And that was three years of, like, being treated like absolute garbage. And that was my first impression of love. And so I think I am very jaded. But over the last 10 years, I've really been focusing on myself, which could be a problem

to in relationships, because maybe I'm being a little selfish. But I do think I just have a lot of negative energy around love. And that's sad. But I'm working on it. I'm cleansing my energy. Well, you're a catch. Thank you. Yeah.

And I think that. I think I am. You are. You are. I don't know. As soon as I get into any relationship, it always feels like, like even in the last two, which of course everybody knows of, it's like we both just kept choosing ourselves over anything else and just not growing together.

That's why I'm like, when you say growing together is the best part, I'm like, what does it feel like? I was saying, both relationships, we just were doing this. Like, I'm really focusing on myself in my career, and I do think I'm getting to be a better person which will make me a better partner which would you rather have five million dollars or a husband i will say this yes 10 million dollars i would yes i'm not out of i'm like 10 million that could really get me out of a few jams i will say i know like you have to be compatible it has to be like your person everything geez oh my gosh 20 million i'm 20 okay okay I'll see this.

Just a little piece of advice because we've talked about this a lot with a lot of friends who... Advice. Yeah. We've literally done a podcast about this because I think there were times in and her and I's relationship married.

That had we not been married and still dating, we would have been really tested to go separate ways. And we think the hardest part of marriage is the fact that you're married at the end of the day, we've got to figure this out. right and it makes it really hard if you aren't married because you're dating yeah or engaged and you're like do I really want to do this right because you still have your out yeah you still have it out and then your brain goes to all of like worst case scenarios and and like so I say you just find someone get

just a lope first day like we're gonna do it get pregnant get married and be like stuff the life yeah great advice job I'm gonna take it A guy does, they're not going to know what hit him. He's going to be like, you, or he's like, who told you this? I'm like, I've moved you. But I do. I think that's honest. I think, I think marriage is hard, and I think I have to rid myself of the dark shadows

that I have encountered as what is love in my life. And I'm working on that, okay? I've healed my inner child, I've done the therapy, one more week of onsite, and I should be good to go. No more psychists, no more psychic, so. What? I'm obsessed. Why?

Why? Because I feel like they validate me. Like, I'll be thinking something and they'll say it and I'm like, ha! It's like good things. Your friends should be doing that for you, Kaylin. Sometimes my friends are yes, people. They just want to make me happy. Do you need different friends?

Actually, that's my one best friend will call my shit out all the time. Good. But, okay, no more psychics, huh? That's just my hot take. Whatever. That's fair. I've never ever been with anyone who understands my obsession with psychics. They're always like, you're crazy.

But is it like from an entertainment standpoint? Because what possible good scenario could come out of seeing this lady who says you struggle with love? It's like, all right. That speaks to your current insecurities, right? That's true. But she also told me, I've got really good finance stuff coming up. My wine business is going to just go national. She has other things.

Isn't that just, like, the manifesting process, though? You could technically do that on your own. Yeah, but that's what I mean. Psychics validate me along the way. Just humor me, okay? Let me have it. Okay, I'll get my psychic license. Okay.

I doubt there even is one. No, that's just in you. Yeah, I'll just, I'll give you your manifesting board for you. I am going to, not today, but, and I can't even tell you why, but I'm going to tell you guys in a month from now on a podcast, something I'm doing right now, and you're going to lose your shit. You're going to be like, you are the craziest person I've ever heard of in my whole life. And I can't wait to see your reaction. I'm going to do it.

I'm nervous. I just got super excited. You should be nervous. It's bad. Is there a nationally certified, like, psychic? Are you in the middle of it? Are you going somewhere to do this? No, I'm in the middle of it right now.

Doing it right from the own home. You're doing like the candles and circles every night? I'm not saying anything. But I am told to not talk about it. No more question I'll have you back on Just to tell you about this story We'll make it like a 30 minute podcast

You have to And I'll just tell you about my Woo-woo shit Oh God Be safe Okay This sounds like a scam Like an email

It might be It might be a scam And that is a risk I'm willing to take Okay It's all for the growth of my spirituality I know you guys I'm in a weird place I'm in a weird place

I'm, like, looking at you guys just with, like, a healthy, happy marriage, 10 years, three kids, and I'm like, what am I doing wrong? I'm doing something wrong over here. Okay, switching gears. No, this is not switching gears. We're still in the same year. But I always write down and say that, I can't remember I got this, some therapist, probably a psychic. Communication is lubrication. Yes.

So, but it can be difficult, obviously, for certain topics. But you guys share so much about your difference. on the podcast, which is what we've kind of been talking about. Do you think having a relationship-focused podcast has helped you in your relationship because you get to just be in the moment with each other, no matter where you're at in life, it's kind of like being in a therapist office. You don't show your worst sides. You just like come together and talk for an hour because you talk about relationship things.

So does it help you? Yes. That's nice. It causes a lot of arguments that you don't see that we just cut it out or quit podcasting that thing. Oh, man. How many, how many episodes do you think we've just burned? Like, 20? At least. Where we started, like, we're 20 minutes in, and then we look at each other.

We're like, not a day. We're not talking about this. It's really helped because it's our job to talk about relationships. It's our job to interview other relationships. And then we love, like, reflecting on things and, like, debriefing at all. So it brings up a lot of topics that maybe we haven't even talked about. Or hypothetical situations that we could have. find herself in based off of who we talked to.

So I think it's been really good. It is like therapy. Yeah, multiple times I think. I think the podcast has been one of the best things we've done. It's done three things, I think. Like it's almost a form of accountability.

Yeah. It's like, hey, we have a, not that we're not the couple's experts. That's what we try to be, the anti. You're just talking from personal experience.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And then we'll try to have like actual therapists on their license, right? To give meaningful advice. But since we have this show, it's like well we should probably be in a healthy spot and so thanks to Sean and she's just like super sharp with keeping us the priority Sean and Andrew and the marriage so it's like if we're not

in a good spot then like we're not going to do the episode right and we've gotten better and better at that so it's like accountability it's introduced us to a lot of fun friends I think totally yeah um which is a blast and then also I think we've gotten lucky to the extent that when Sean and I do dates we just talk about like philosophical conversations and like that's how we connect and so that's been uh i mean you know this is what the podcast is it's like talking about hypotheticals or like learning i love it's like it's been great but it has every once in a while we'll like dig up bones where it's like you know when you talk about and you're like freak we could just gloss over this and not have to but here we are doing a freaking podcast about it what's the hardest conversation you've

ever had on the podcast we did one on uh different different parenting styles Yeah. And then we burned that one. Yeah, we had to burn that one. Because, wait, oh, no,

no, no. No, it was our, it was, it was, it was, Andrew has learned firsthand. There's one question

you cannot ask couples, which is, what is the biggest fight you ever gotten? Mm. Because that's the one question you can't ask couples. No.

Because it's never resolved. Never, it's usually the biggest one is not, if you're still together, is just buried. We just walk past that. And so we

inflicted the same pain on ourselves. We were like, let's go down this rabbit hole of biggest arguments. Yeah. Podcast. And we dug up all the bones. Probably our five worst moments in our relationship. And it just, it just started fueling both of us.

Yeah, I guess that's true. And it was just like, I will never get over there. You're like, why are we talking about this? I was like, no, you were actually wrong. You were still wrong. I know exactly that kind of argument. Yeah. Here.

Wow. Oh, geez. throw those on. Okay. Are these beer goggles? Just let me be noted for the listeners. Here we are on the Off Devine podcast and drinking water instead of. Hey, I offered.

I'm sending you home. Okay, we're just going to keep it real for two seconds. You know, I'm Big Daddy when they put the glasses on and then you can say whatever you're thinking. I've never seen it. Oh, okay. Well, here we go. How often should married couples have sex? Married.

Sorry, I went straight to pregnant. Or pregnant. No, that's a different. you've got kids you've got work you're busy you know that you need to like schedule it in once a week married once a week is my answer yeah okay yeah well that was easy I don't that's it yeah I thought it was I like to put those on when people have to answer uncomfortable questions it just makes it easier I need some like pregnant I can't turn over like some people like twice a day I'm like what are we doing twice a day I need some recovery we've read we've talked about this before and so like

We've gone down Google rabbit holes where people are like, my husband's the best, whatever, every single day. I'm like, every day. They're lying. No way. That's, it's a lie. It's exhausting. Yeah. What's your nutrition plan to keep like, you got to.

I do know a couple that does, they make sure that they have sex every day. No. No. Yes, like they, even if they're fighting, even, they will make sure that they do that before they go to bed. Oh, man. It's like part of their nighttime routine. I'm sorry. That.

What's your case? Cadence, Caitlin. Oh, God. It depends. I'm on some antidepressants, so my sex, I'm a Sahara Desert over here. Oh, my. I didn't know that was a thing. I just, I just, I'm learning.

I'm learning. I'm learning. I'm learning, too. Oh, man. That's where I'm at, guys. Are you shocked? No. What?

No, you can't be shocked. No. That's a side effect of antidepressants? Yeah. Does that not worsen the problem? woman some ways. Yes, actually. Were you Irish there for a second?

But yeah, no, I'm on like, I went down to the lowest dosage because I was like, girls got to get her mojo back. Let's go. So I'll let you guys know. Yeah. Okay. No, I'm not doing that anytime soon. You don't need to let me know.

I'm still BRB. You don't need to let me know. You didn't tell me to put the glasses back on. My bad. That's your bad. I've got a game to play before I let you go And it's a couple things, yay or nay So sitting at the same side

Of the booth at a restaurant Yay Aw Yep That's cute Yeah Yeah It's not for everybody

But we do that I'm all about it I'm about like matching outfits No Oh yeah just kidding That's stupid No I just think that's so cute

Sharing food from each other's plate Yes Yeah 100%. We always order, like, our second options. Had your bets. Yeah. That's cute.

Okay. Over the top nicknames for each other. Oh, like over the top? What do you call each other? Bug and bro. Or boo-thang? Oh, boot-thag? Is that surprise you?

Yeah. Did you say bro? I've always called it. It's very weird. When we started dating, he was in the middle of Vanderbilt football. I we didn't like start dating and then be thrown into the friend group I was like thrown into the friend group yeah only girl and so I didn't want to be like the lovey-dovey you know with the boat so I was up bro and everybody called him bro so I called him bro that was my college nickname really was bro bro was your college nickname it's pretty sick I know I know do you not be jealous do you want to hear mine yeah everyone on the podcast knows this one Caitlin no Brestos oh no geez oh you guys I feel like you're going to leave here

Take mine We're worried about her Oh man It's okay I will gladly switch you any day You need new friends Caitlin What the heck

That was high school That was boys Probably trying to flirt with me And it was high school Not my friends They don't call me that What about sharing a toothbrush No

No Sean tries to share mine It's so annoying I do almost every day Guys are so weird about that and girls aren't Yeah, that's my experience. She has 90 million products on her freaking vanity.

I have one. It's my toothbrush and toothpaste. It's probably your toothpaste, your deodorant, your face cream, your shampoo, your condition, our dudes just need one, and we have serums for our elbows. Yep. Having a song, do you guys have a song? I think our first dance song.

What is it? That's Josh Geryl's the arrow. No, sorry, heaven's night. My bad, my bad. Wow. Something to discuss on the podcast. Oh, that's, well, that's all I got for you. Okay.

I do have one more thing, actually. Yes. This is for confessions. So, whoever the alligator, whoever he bites, that's who has to tell a confession. Okay. Oh, what do I do? I do.

Press the, press a two, pick a two, any two. Just one, just one. Oh, that's kind of. Oh. Well, I don't have a confession Oh gosh That was a long round I've never seen it go that long

That is That is thrilling It's not Just puts a little pep in your step Wait is this one we talked about Yeah Yeah So at one point

When I was When I was When I was when we were when we was at one point we lived in LA and we shared a condo it was like a two-bedroom apartment condo with another couple

yeah so it was like both of our like second homes while we were working but we shared a very small confined space together and we tried to like share a calendar for a long time to know like when people were coming home to leave the doors unlocked like all these things

we're married getting after it one night one night Twice a day. What I was going to say? Twice a day. I thought nobody was home, obviously. Let the door is wide open.

And someone was there the whole time. Oh. The whole time. Making coffee. And literally it's like the, it's a direct shot. It's a direct shot. They heard and saw everything. Did you guys talk about it?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we debriefs it. It was, it was blatant enough. In the middle of the night, we like, share our bedrooms share our bathroom shared a wall and I like heard their bathroom and I was like why why is he home oh no and then the next morning I was like oh my gosh and he's like yeah

yeah yeah yes nice he like high fives you he said he's like good work in there man oh my gosh that was so really this isn't even a confession this is just like oh you guys have sex when you're married and you're good at it. Great. Well, has anyone... No. That's cute, though. What confessions have you heard on here?

No, that was actually a really good one. Okay. That's a really good one. Okay. You name it. People plugging toilets and scooping poop out and throwing it out a window at their crush's house. Oh, my God. Okay. Tell everybody where they can watch your YouTube.

You guys share so many incredible things, and I just think your relationship is really relatable. and inspiring and tell everybody where they can find all of your stiff we do share so many things incredible as tbd yeah yeah beauty's in there sitting here sweater let's see you can find sean on all our platforms at sean johnson she's wonderful thanks and i would highly recommend and your podcast our podcast is called couple things couple things um also do you see derrickus post where he talked about an all um winters season yes wow but i could you imagine Did you read the article? No.

It mentioned nothing. Oh. And I was like, why did he post it? Exactly. I got so excited. Oh, my God, we. My daughter would die. Could you imagine?

That would be so fun. I'm also desperately trying to get Andrew on. Oh, you'd be great. Thank you for that. You would be great. I, thank you. You're fun. Yeah, you're fun.

And I feel like you'd be fun to watch. And do you have dance moves? No. Oh. You'd be better. You could learn them. What? You would learn them.

You're a great learner. Oh, my gosh. All winter season would be hype. Could you imagine? They need to for the show. How would they split up the pros, though? Because I feel like most winners are consolidated amongst like six pros. Good point.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, but I'm here for it. I'm here for it. I will ruin this body over and over again and break more ribs to go back on. Oh, my gosh. Oh, it was bad. Thank you guys for coming on. Thanks for driving out here to Kentucky.

Happy to. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating and review. This is Belowdex Captain Lee. Listen to my new podcast, Salty, with Captain Lee. Um, don't you mean our podcast? Uh, yeah, I guess I do. Anyhow, listen to Salty with Catherine Lee co-hosted by my assistant.

and Sam, and we will be talking about the latest pop culture news and all the gossip every week. So does this mean we have to talk by ourselves, about ourselves, or can at least have some guests on? I don't know I find myself pretty interesting, but yeah, we can have some guests on some of our reality TV friends and some stars. Works for me. Listen to Salty now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.