Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Holiday Newsflash & Vino Confessions with Robyn Schall

Episode Date: December 23, 2021

‘Tis the season to be… sitting down on the mic with your favorite anchor woman to hear some breaking news stories? That’s right! Kaitlyn and Robyn are reuniting to talk about the holiday season, their 2022 manifestations, and hear about all the “flash news” happening in our world. Between hitting on firemen and emulating Kim K, Robyn has been a busy woman lately, so she’s catching KB up on her life and sharing all of her goals for the new year ahead. Per usual, she’s also bringing us the latest news, including both disturbing and uplifting holiday stories and a report that reveals what a lot of us already knew: America hates sex. These two ladies have ideas for the best stocking stuffers (no pun intended) for you in case you’re doing some last minute shopping, and wrap up this therapy session by ranking your confessions on a scale from 1-10. As always, the vinos did not disappoint. Until next time!  HYUNDAI - Find out more at HyundaiUSA.com.  STRAIGHT TALK WIRELESS - No contract, no compromise. Available at Walmart and Walmart.com.  GEICO - Go to Geico.com, get a q uote, and see how much YOU could save. It’s GEICO-easy! OXICLEAN - Work your magic with Oxiclean White Revive! Visit myoxiclean.com for cleaning tips and tricks. CHINET - Chinet Brand makes premium disposable tableware for all of life’s gatherings. Visit mychinet.com to find out more. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. This week's grape therapy is sponsored by Hyundai. Find out more at HyundaiUSA.com. Straight talk wireless. No contract, no compromise. Available at Walmart and Walmart.com. Geico, go to geico.com, get a quote and see how much you could save.

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Straight Talk wireless has rolled out 5G coverage nationwide with plans starting at just $35 a month and no contract. Go check it out now, available at Walmart and Walmart.com. This week's episode of Great Therapy is brought to you by Hyundai. Hyundai is the widest range of electrified vehicles on the market, starting with the 22 Tucson and Santa Fe plug-in hybrid EVs. Learn more about these cars and everything Hyundai at HyundaiUSA.com. Podcast One Presents Off the Vine, Great Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question, drink to your confessions, and hear what

have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Great Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. There's one person who comes on this podcast pretty regularly and never fails to make me laugh. It's not low. It's Robin Shaw. You know her as a comedian, a content creator, and news anchor, someone who manifested all her 2021 dreams and I feel honored and privileged to have her sit down with me one more time this year to end 2021 on the brightest note possible. And we talk about our time together on stage during the Bright and Dirty Tour. We rate some of your confessions and then she breaks some really incredible news stories for me. Okay. Seriously, some really hot topics are being discussed over here.

I truly feel enlightened after our time together. I hope you enjoy. And hey, by the way, if you celebrate Merry freaking Christmas, guys. And happy holidays. Happy holiday. Merry Christmas. Ow. I clapped too hard. Hi.

Hey. I am so tardy to the party. Oh my gosh. Sorry. If I'm being honest, I had to finish watching the episode of the or the finale of the Bachelorette. And I was literally in tears fixing. my mascara before I came on here. So good to see you.

I have so. Wait. You have really elevated your background. Okay. I have a confession. Well, this is a terrible confession. All the other times I was at my brother's apartment so that we could have the flash news flash behind me, which was on the Oakton, not Oakton, whiteboard.

Yeah. This is like my actual home. Oh, it's beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. It's really beautiful. Now what were you going to say? I interrupted you.

I was going to say I had so much fun at your Bachelorette show farted. You are always on the same page as me. That was my first talking point. I was going to be like, how much fun did we have on stage live at my podcast? You are so fun to be around. That was so much fun. Now, I've been a lot of time on stage. I've done stand-up for the last 10 years of my life.

I have, Caitlin, that was so fun. Like, I got off of stage and I was like, all right, for my own shows, I need to up it. Because that was fun. Like, it wasn't just funny. It was fun. Like, we were singing, we were dancing. We were doing challenges. Like, people were coming up and telling stories.

I swear I'm not bashing these two girls. No, if you're listening, I love you. But they both came up and were like, I've short stories. And then they told 20-minute stories. And I thought that was so funny. Everyone was just like a free-for-all. And it was so fine. Are you done with the tour?

I am, sadly. It's so much work, but it's, the most rewarding work I could possibly do because, like, it sounds like it's, you know, the easiest work of all time because it's so much fun, but so much goes in. There's so many moving parts and them, you know, to be in different cities and be on. And it's truly the most rewarding thing that I do because I'm like every girl or guy that's in that crowd truly feels like I would hang out with them. I'm like, you are so someone I would hang out with. And for everyone to be in that room, the energy is so electric and hilarious. And then adding you on.

stage with your comedic timing and our friendship and just everything that went into it. It was so fun. It was so good. And the audience was so fun. Like it was like this guy and he had like a fancy shirt on him. And I was like, oh, stand up. And then he just starts strutting like walking like a runway. And then your DJ was like playing music. And then these other guys wanted to model. It was like insane. It was just so I have no other words except it was so fun. It really. Yeah. That was the best when you're like having your mom. to that guy in the like sequence shirt and all of a sudden the DJ just knew to play dancing queen and like shout out to Grant Mills for doing that and this guy just had his moment like he was strutting

owning that whole room and then like all of these straight men that came with their wives who never thought they wanted to be there were standing dancing with him they ended up on stage and it was just like such a feel good two hours yeah and then we somehow we got on topic of Chicago and Caitlin started singing and it was just it was just so i keep saying it was so fun i was like anytime you want air in new york and you're doing a show please have me back because i know you're you're you are always going to be a guest when i'm in new york and it's so funny because i wish we could film the whole thing like and like almost air it live or but then it takes away the magic of like that's why people come you know to these that's why comedians not that i am one but like you can't

record them because you want people to be so in the moment and you want to treat that audience like they're your audience and not everybody can get that from you. Yeah. People always ask why I don't live stream my comedy shows. I'm like, because there's a magic missing when you're not in the room. Because you can even like, because I listen back to that podcast, you know, and it's cut down and you know, there's something missing that was in that room, that energy that you can't duplicate. So anyway, if you could go see Caitlin Live, do it. I promise you. It's so fun. And it's fun because I'm about to go live on tour with Dancing with the stars and I also get to like host and involve the crowd so it'll be really fun how's that going oh my gosh

my body I forget how hard it is on the body I don't know how these pros do it they are they are freaks of nature and it's insane because they will move their bodies like contortionists and dance and do all these things and they'll do it from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. full out every time and then in between I just see them like oh like barely moving with their like massage their tools and taking Advil and And then they just get back out there. And they're such professionals and so insanely talented. And then I'm like, and I'm Judy. But it's been so much fun.

And I just can't wait to dance on stage in front of a crowd. Again, just feeling the energy of the crowd because I didn't get a crowd with dancing with the stars last season because of COVID. So I'm so excited to just connect with people again. How was your Hanukkah, by the way? I think that. Do you get a fire alarm? Yeah.

So I live, like, I live upstairs, well, like next to a firehouse. Oh, I know. And I like, I briefly told that to my Instagram followers and like, I'm not exaggerate. Well, you have very similar followers who are very involved, you know. I had over a thousand DMs being like, you live near a firehouse and you haven't told us that we have to go. We must hit on these men, you know. Because my followers are women between 25 and 75, you know. So you were all just like horny and ready.

So I was like, all right, let's do this. And not just, they just said, let's go bring them cookies. I was like, let's ask them out. Yeah. All of them. Yeah. Just like anyone who wants. So I went to the firehouse and I like, we wrote a note being like,

hi, like thank you for your bravery. If anyone's single and wants to go on a date, like I'm available. And you brought donuts. And I brought donuts. And the note was like taped to the box. So then, you know, I finally get the courage to ring the doorbell. This is all my Instagram. You can see it.

But then I give them boxes like, oh, this is for me, my followers. You know, there's a little note by and then he closes the door. And then he reopens it. And he goes, do you want to come inside? And I said yes, even though I was like, oh, my God, they're going to be reading the note while I'm here. Like, this is terrible. Luckily, I went in. I said hi.

And then I got out before they read the note. Now here's the thing. There's, I don't know how many men. literally not what messaged me not what with that said a lot of their mothers and sisters like I got all these messages from women be like oh my god my son works there thank you so much for the donuts oh my god this is so crazy my brother's my brother that's kidding not one are they all taken yes they're all taken that's what I'm going that's that's what it is otherwise they didn't message they were cute though too like you you you

about it, but until you actually see like a hot firefighter, like, oh, wait, that's real? Like you guys are? I dated a really hot firefighter in my early 20s. His name was Justin. Pretty sure he cheated on me. But back then, it was really, really odd. Do you own or rent your own home? I'm sure you do, and I bet it can be hard work.

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Oxyclean white revive. Visit Myoxyclean.com for cleaning tips and tricks. Grab a coffee and discover nonstop action with Budmgm casino. Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of one with multi-drop. Once even more options, play a wide variety of table games or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills only available at BetMGM. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531, 2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. So anyway, I don't know how we got on that topic. Oh, Hanukkah. Tell me about your Hanukkah. It was good. I don't know, it's not as like fun as Christmas. Do you know what I mean?

Do you celebrate both? I don't celebrate either, really. Oh, okay. Well, because you're serenating your brother every morning like a like a true Kardashian that you are, honorary Kardashian. You're serenating him every morning like Kim Kardashian does for her kids. That's insane, by the way. The last time I made a video like poking fun at her, she shared it and then we like spoke for a minute.

So I made this video and I personally sent it to her and I'm like, hey Kim, like, help this you find this money. And it says scene, like I know she watched it, but she didn't comment. So I'm like, oh, good enough. Good enough. If I saw my idea, I'd be like, great. She's a busy woman. The fact that she watches your videos is insane, but that's so funny because, like,

she has, like, Grammy-nominated pianist, like, playing for her kids to wake up every morning of December. No, I can't imagine. God. Imagine having, like, I just, like, the ability. Get the money to have this. Yeah. Just, like, the ability of just, like,

knowing the phone numbers of people. Right. And especially, like, someone's so talented. The power of the Kardashian is actually quite scary. Like, they can really do anything and get anything. And I just feel like, I wonder if they manifest as hard as I do or you do for things like this or if they're just like, here's my checkbook. I think, I bet you it's both. Chris Jenner, I didn't actually read her autobiography, but I listened to a podcast of someone who reviewed her autobiography.

And in it, she said, if you hear, no, you're just not speaking to the right people. So I do think it is part of manifesting. Because I think what manifesting is is putting out there what you want so that subconsciously you're taking the steps to get there. So I think with someone like Chris Jenner and the whole Kardashian group is I think they know what they want and they're constantly taking steps. And if they get no or they get canceled or they get this or that's that. They're like, nope, we're just going to keep going.

That's such a good point. And I feel like you're kind of like that. I'm kind of like that. You had a lot happened for you, obviously, in the last couple of years. So what are your manifestations or goals for 2022? Like, have you written them out? Have you? I haven't written them out, but I, I mean, I really want to have my own television show.

Like, I have two or three in the works that, like, with different producers that were hoping to take out in early 2022. Yes. It's just so hard to sell a show. It's so hard to get it ready to sell a show, like get the team together, like, get the right producer and show running. Then it's hard to sell the show. Then even if it gets sold, it's hard for them to...

Network to pick it up. Then it's hard to get the first episode. I think there's so many steps. So that's my go. That's what I want. Have you written it out yet? Have you put it on paper? I mean, hold on paper.

I want my own show. Yes, I didn't write it out. Now look at that every day. I was like the freak that looked at the full moon last night and had a full conversation with it about my show. goals for 2022 so you got about you what do you want okay i truly want a family i like truly want to get married and have a family and like i want to let go of i'm a very irritable human being and i have so much to be grateful for and i am every morning i wake up and i think to myself before i look at my phone

before i look at instagram before i do anything i always think about what i'm grateful for and there's so many things, but somehow I'm just like the most irritable person. I know it's my period, but like, I'm going to look into that more. I'm going to like try and let certain things go. I'm going to try and be more just like in the moment and be present because I want to go into like marriage and having a family as like the best version of myself. And that's like, okay, and I want a TV show. Well, first of you have a TV show. No, I don't want a TV show actually. I'm like perfectly happy. I like being a host because I'm not putting my like relationship on blast. I'm not like getting like.

No, but that is having a TV show is not necessarily being on a reality show. Is it my Instagram? No, like you're a host of a television show. That's having your own show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm a fraud there though.

But that's just your own insecurity. No one else is thinking that's true. I mean, sure, someone on Reddit things that, but that they don't matter. that's a good point but yeah i mean happens to my mind having your own television show is either hosting a show or acting in a show or i mean there's a million ways so i consider you having a show i have so many things written down on my goal is for 22 having a family is obviously like such a priority to me but like i also want my wine to be in targets i want my wine to be available everywhere i want it to be like that next step of success with wine i want like do to create more apparel

I want my podcast to just have better conversations than the last year. I always just want to be better than I was the last year in like the right ways. That's great. Okay, let's get back to having a family. All right. So we know we're getting married. Yeah. I'm in the wedding.

All right. We know we're getting married. We don't have a date though, right? We just know the month. We're waiting. So Jason and I want to look at venues together. I might have to be on FaceTime for it. But there's so many weddings that are happening in the month that we want next year

that we really want to make sure we lock in the right venue before we're tell everybody a date. Yeah. Okay. And now children. Yeah. What's the game plan? Well, I mean, I haven't been on birth control since, like, oh, three.

So, but I, I feel like I don't care if I get pregnant before the wedding, but I obviously have to do the tour with Dancing with the Stars before I get pregnant. But I think Jason wants to get married, but he's also like, like randomly, he'll be like, ah, screw it. Let's have kids now. out. But, you know, obviously there's so many people who can't get pregnant or I'm like just hoping that that's in the cards for me. And I also have my eggs frozen in case of like a backup plan, but that's not a guarantee. So I'm putting it out there that I want to have at least one,

hopefully too. But you can have two and by the end of the year though. Like we were just saying this, you're like you were saying your goals for 2022. We can't have two kids unless you pop one out next month. Unless I have twins. I could have twins. Oh, that's true. Okay. So would you want twins to just get it on? I would love twins. And then all the moms out there were twin moms right now are going, oh, brace yourself, Caitlin. Be careful what you wish for. But I just think twins would be incredible. Okay, Vianos, I hope this isn't how you're finding out. But you know what? Christmas is this week in a couple days, actually. Okay. So hopefully you're getting ready to spend some time with the people you care about, whether it's friends or family. And one thing that all celebrations have in common, at least once. that I want to go to is some good food and drinks.

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and then since the last year, I've been single. So it's six years that I've been alone, even though five of those I was texting in a relationship. But only for weeks I would see him, you know. Yeah. For me to get into relationship right now, the guy would have to be so. so amazing because I love living alone. I've built this whole lifestyle and life that I love. So for me now to change and live with someone, he would, I can't even imagine what he would be like for me to willing to give this up. But what a great feeling that you know you're good on your own and that you're happy on your own and you're empowered to do what you want and that you're

putting your career first and that you're like someone would actually have to be pretty perfect to be with me. Yeah. But does that mean I'm going to die alone? Yeah, but maybe, no. But maybe that'll be wonderful. But if you do, at least you would be happy and fulfilled in your life. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I definitely don't need someone to feel fulfilled.

No. You're like Kevin McAllister jumping up and down. I'm living alone. I'm living alone. That's you. Wait, that's one of our new stories today. Well, let's get into it. Now remember, for those who are, well, I'm sure you've all heard, my flash news stories, I only read headlines so you can't ask too many follow-up questions.

Okay. Because I didn't actually read the article. Okay. All right. We should start with that one. Okay. So the house of home alone is in Chicago. Yeah.

Okay. And the owner of the house is played by Buzz the brother in the movie owns the house. Shut up. Yeah. Anyway, he put it on. he put it on Airbnb from last week to New Year's you could rent it for one night only $25

and he'll like meet you there and do a meet and greet $25? Yeah, because I guess it's just for the experience he's not like trying to get rich on it, you know? Yeah. Well, anyway, like two days ago I don't know the exact details but then he got like arrested for assault

for strangling someone. Oh, was. He always seemed like kind of an angry human but so what so what happened what was the headline was arrested for joking someone in the McCallie much Colkin's house no wait what is their name McCallister oh my gosh yeah so at first I was like oh my god this is so cool but then I was like looking at the follow-up news story and it was like buzzed arrested for strangleization and I was like oh

not worth $25 no no not Wow. I mean, that that would be an experience to just get a little like, like, Buzz being mad at you in the, in the McAllister's house. You'd be like, this is so on brand. I mean, it is like really on brand. But I shouldn't say allegedly, because I didn't actually read the article. So maybe he was just accused. I don't know if he actually did it. Let's not get off the vine sued for false. False information. Okay. Allegedly. Flash news. Is it flash or flash news? Oh, I don't even remember. It gets news flash. Whatever it is. Okay.

All right. So they're now in the trials period for the Olympics. Is that what they're called trials? I don't know. Training. I don't know. And so you know how like on a rank or whatever they have ads up? Yeah.

So one of them was for a. a sex toy company and because it was a sex toy company, the U.S. banned the trials from being shown on U.S. airwaves. Why? And the company is called like easy toys. It's like something like that. And there's no, you don't see a penis or a vagina. It's just the title of the company.

And because it's on it, you can't watch it in America. America hates sex. Why? I don't know. I don't know. It makes no sense. that's really interesting you like think about it sometimes you're like we've come so far and like let's be comfortable with our sexuality but like now we can't talk about pleasuring ourselves

yeah and it's isn't almost like disappointing the only two countries that banned it was the US and Japan oh Canada would embrace that Canadians that's so interesting and really disappointing Yeah. So I thought that was an interesting news story. News flash. News flash. Get your shit together, America. People have sex. People have sex. I feel like I don't know the stats, but I feel like if you look at what's some a wholesome TV show on the air right now. A wholesome TV show on the air, like modern family. Okay. Let's say modern family. I'm pretty sure that's off the air.

But I don't know. I'm sure that ended three years ago. But, okay. Let's just take, like, the last episode of Modern Family or how many people log on to Pornhub a day, I'm sure Pornhub blows them out of the water. 1,000%. And I would like to know how many women don't have sex toys. I bet you under 5%. Yeah. I'm going to do it all. I bet you over the age of 22. Because I think the little younger, they're a little nervous to buy it. Yeah. You know, but I've been over the age of 22, I'm going to say under 5%.

What do you think? Can you put a poll? That seems I'm going to put up a pool on off the vine because everybody that follows off the vine is like 97% female and over the age of 20, I believe. It's like 25 to 35 is like where it's at. I'm curious how many guys have sex toys. Like for themselves or for girls? No, for themselves.

like either like you know what is it called then you anal beads it's not a hook oh a strap on no that would be for a girl um oh a we're learning so much about jason today i um no on the you put it on to shower walls so that you can have sex with it oh um what oh like a pocket Yeah. Yeah. This is like a flashlight or a flashlight. Oh. I don't know, but a new stocking stuff or idea. So, yeah, just give you some ideas to get family this Christmas. Yeah. So anyway, I don't know where we were going with this newslet. That America hates sex toys. Yes. And then Caitlin and Robin should not be doing ads for anal vets. Okay, ready for our last and final news story?

Yes. We really went through them. Oh, actually there's two. Okay, ready? Yep. Oldies magazine has named Queen Elizabeth Oldie of the Year. They, like, do Oldies of the Year awards every year in this magazine. Queen Elizabeth declined the award because although she's 95, she said she doesn't feel

qualified as age is just a number and it's about how you feel and she feels too young so she wrote the magazine saying thank you for the honor but i'm going to have to decline because i feel too young wasn't that cool to do i love the queen i that is such a boss like queen move like actually i feel 40 so i'm going to have to decline your like yeah acknowledgement or whatever she's like i'm just going to have to decline because although I'm 95, I feel 40. Yeah, and just like she's kind of busy and like she had the time to like acknowledge this magazine's award. Yeah, she could have just let it slide. I would have never heard about it. But she's like, actually, oh my gosh, that's so cute. Speaking of like, they should give it to Betty White. She's going to be 100 on like January 17th

and I'm going to throw the biggest party. I am, I love her so much, Betty White. Okay, do you want to have like a Zoom party and we all dress up as the Golden Girls and do a birthday party for 100 years for Betty White and we like make a Betty White cocktail that's like it's golden and it has like a hundred year old scotch in it or something. I was going to say like you did for a hundred seconds pour like the vodka in. I don't know. Yeah. Something like that. I love it. Let's do it. Okay. Done. I'll be on a tour bus, but that will be even more fun. Excellent. I can't believe we'll be living on a tour bus. Wait, does that mean there's going to be other people with you on the bus? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to live the tour.

or bus life. And apparently all the pros play pranks on people and I'm scared. And I don't know who else is going to be on my bus. But I am like, I'm not boozy, but they are making me feel busy because all the dancers get the bunts and I get the queen's suite in the back. Ooh. Wait. How many like so when I say celebrities, I know like there's dancers and celebrities. How many celebrities go on tour? Well, just me. And then I'm on is going to come on for like a couple stops. And then when I stop the tour because I can't do the last like nine shows, Amanda the clutes is going to come in and do it. But it's just me for the majority.

Oh, I thought there was like a bunch of you. Well, I mean, I'm on will be there for some of it. He's going to do a couple of his dances with Danielle, but not for the whole thing. Wait, who won this past year? I'm on. Oh, that's right. He's amazing. That guy is such a jam.

He's so funny and so nice. And he's just like this positive little ball of like humble, pie is just so great i okay i don't know if you could be honest but i can't me and the and the people want to know what how on the up and up is dancing with the stars with like the voting and who wins okay so i think i don't know the answer to this so this is just what i think or what i've heard i think back in the day it could really be up to like judges and like producers or whatever but they're very serious about the voting counting. Okay, they are.

Yeah. Yes. Because I wasn't sure if they were like, oh, let's say there's like seven people left. Oh, so-and-so has a show coming out soon. So no matter what, they have to leave in week six or week seven. It did seem like that a couple times. So again, I cannot confirm because I don't know the answer to that. But I've heard them speak like when they didn't know I was listening about how like,

like they really tally up the votes. And I think, I think it, like, of course, if somebody was, like, a terrible human and they had stuff that was going to come out on them and, like, I don't know, the producers were like, we can't let them win. I'm sure they would have the power to do that. Right. Because I'm getting still television, you know. Exactly. Exactly. Okay.

Thank you for your honest answer. Yes. You're welcome. Anything. All right. Newsflash. Our last and final story. In Budapest, they in 2020 had a kid.

cancel their naked Santa run, which was really sad. Oh, but this year it returned and 40 naked Santas got to run. Where is this? In Budapest. Oh, oh, I missed that first part. Wait, I remember seeing photos of this. Are they fully naked, like flapping in the wind or they have like little speedos on or something?

They have like little Santa speedos on. Yeah. Okay. So they get to run again, free the day. Santa's. Yeah. Well, it really was a Christmas miracle. Wow. Yeah. Okay. I feel good about that. Merry Christmas do all. I would not want to see men running naked. I'm no. I'm sadly... I want to see anyone run naked. Naked's not meant for running. It's really not. I was sadly just painting that picture in my head of naked Santa Claus is running and it was really gross in my mind. Yeah. So anyway, it was not really a Christmas miracle. Except they do raise

money for a good cause, the better childrenhood. So it is a little Christmas miracle. Okay, that's cute that they raise money. Okay. Well, those were really great news stories, Robin. Thank you. Yeah. I spent a whole seven minutes researching.

That was really amazing. And now I can't wait to look into the Buzz McAllister story. Yeah. Okay. I have a couple things for you before we go. Okay, great. You're going to rate confessions because it's fun. Okay, excellent.

these are confessions from from vinos and i purposely picked ones that weren't poop related because there's so many of those i actually they're just like some really cute funny ones so obviously you're familiar with my confession segment but okay i wanted the vinos to give you some confessions so i wanted you to rank them on a scale from one to ten one being meh whatever 10 being like dear god are you okay okay A part of me wants my son to find out about Santa so that I don't have to hide the elf on the shelf anymore. I don't think that's that bad. Like, if I was a mom, I think like the first time it would be cute,

but then to come up with all the different disasters and destroy your house. Yeah. Caitlin, yes, you are. I know. I'm so doing that. I already have, like, ideas written out in my baby name and, like, note section. That's my song. you're so oh my god i can only imagine the lengths you're going to go to to make this extravagant

and like i'm going to be so competitive i'm going to be like mine have to be the best compared to everyone at their school i'm going to be so competitive but i think the confession would be a 10 if you did ruin santa claus for your child to do that but it's a one because you're just thinking about it and i'm like man i would do yeah just wanting to do it it's different than like telling your kid there's you know yeah santa yeah no listen like no kids are listening oh my gosh santa santa's real my nephew is gonna call me and blame me for the rest of his life that i ruined christmas from okay i ate hot cheetos gave my boyfriend a blowjob accidentally threw up hot cheetos on his wean um it all worked out we're engaged

and we have a child together oh my goodness i want to give this wait what's bad 10 uh-huh okay i'm gonna give this a seven because although it's bad i did something pretty similar So I think, but there was no hot Cheetos. I was just really drunk. I mean, if you think about it, giving someone a blowjob when you're really drunk and just gagging yourself is going to probably result in some bomb. Exactly.

And I feel like it's more common than you think. So it's seven where it's like really embarrassing, but it's a seven because it's happened to a lot of people. So don't even worry about it. Okay, fair enough. And it worked out for them. They have a kid together. Obviously, that was not a blowjob time.

oh here we go i was when i was young and was scared of buying sexy toys i used to masturbate with my electric toothbrush that i also used to daily brush my chompers oh okay that took a turn well i mean what part of the toothbrush are you using like to masturbate right i'm okay i'm okay i'm gonna give this a knot wait she was young yeah she was young all right i'm I am hoping it's the other end of the toothbrush. Yeah. Yeah, because if it's not, that's a 10. If it is, that's still like a soft six.

Yeah, I mean, look, desperate times calls for desperate measures. Right. With that said, it just doesn't sit easy with me. Yeah. Yeah, I feel that. Okay, I agree. Well, wait, what rating are you giving it? All right, I'm going to give it a six.

Okay. Five. Five, strong five. That's fair. Okay. I slept with my boss for four years before meeting my now husband. I'm at the same job with the same boss. And he and my husband are now friends.

And my husband has no idea about the history between my boss and I. That is a juicy, juicy 10. Yeah, that's a 10. That's not even a confession. No, that's a confession. And don't tell your husband. Don't ever tell your husband. No, that's just a little secret.

Yeah, he doesn't need to know. Because if you tell him now, especially if you're not cheating and everything's all good, you telling him is just clearing your conscious. It's not going to help. It's going to make him feel like crap. So don't do it. Right. That's a good history. She slept with her boss for four years. That wasn't like a quick little wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you for playing along. Thank you for your headlines. Thank you for this just like 40 minutes of joy that you brought into my day because I always love talking to you. I love talking to you. Thank you for having me, Caitlin. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now. ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV? Hi, podcast listeners. This is Kelty from the Lady Gang podcast with over 150 million downloads and about 150,000. negative reviews on iTunes. You know that people either love us or they hate us, and that makes a great show. Lady Gang is a twice weekly podcast where we help you feel less alone in your life

with the help of our favorite reality stars and housewives, but mostly me and my two friends, Becca and Jack, talk about the ugly and ridiculous and crazy things that happen in our lady life. Come get inspired. Come get a virtual podcast hug from us every Tuesday and Thursday, wherever you get your podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever else you listen. See you there. You know.