Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Jamie Weintraub

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Listen to Your Heart star, Jamie Weintraub, joins Kaitlyn this week for GT and the two recap the latest from the show and what she has to say about Trevor! Jamie tells Kaitlyn about her time on the show, how she got into singing and they bond over their shared love of storytelling in country music. They also have a conversation about mental health and Jamie explains how she began her journey into loving herself. HIDRATE – Go t o hidratespark.com/VINE for 20% off your first order TALKSPACE – As a l istener of this podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on Talkspace by going to Talkspace.com and use code V INE GEICO – Go t o geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insuranceSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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therapist, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code Vine. And Geico, go to Geico.com and in 15 minutes, you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance. Extra money in your pocket, it just may be the most rewarding to do you do today. Thank you, Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions, drink to your confessions, and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. All right, everybody, welcome to grape therapy today. I am recapping the final episode of Listen to Your Heart with a girl who is in the finale herself, and I was there too.

She started out the season, both a little nervous on stage and a little nervous to share her feelings, but we got to see her become confident in both her music and her relationship. And even though she may not have taken the title last night, she's still a winner in our books because we are nice like that. Please welcome to the podcast, Jamie, from Listen to Your Heart. Hi, girl. Hello. Okay. Have you ever watched the show, um, dead to me with Christina Applegate? Yes.

Okay. Remember the girl from the office and they always go, hey girl. Oh, girl. I know, girl. That's how I just felt when I said that to you. Hey, girl. Um, how are you? I'm doing good. You know, it's, it's been interesting watching it and it feels weird that it's over, but also I'm excited for the new chapter of my life and Nashville and waiting for this corona to be over. So we can get back to normal. But it's so hard because it's like you just come off this show. Your career is supposed to be like, you know, booming right now. And you should.

be outperforming and here you are in quarantine having to deal with the COVID so um terrible timing for that but we all loved to watch you on this season I feel like you were their little golden child this season like we saw so much of you and your performances and your growth and um you you were really what the show needed so it was really fun to watch you and I mean going through something so wild like that at the age of 21. It's to me, like I always say, if I was on that show when I was 21, my life would look a lot different. But how did you feel like, you know, going into this show, you didn't, I know they didn't tell you too much about what was happening. But, you know, you seemed like you weren't the most confident in your voice and certain things where all of us

sitting at home are going, what? Why? So how did you feel about going on national television with those kinds of nerves? Well, for me, I used to perform a lot when I was younger. And then it was just like a confidence thing. As I got into my teenage years, I just struggled a lot with self-confidence and loving myself. And I just kind of fell into writing a lot because it was very therapeutic for me. And that kind of, I fell into a hole there. And then I lost my voice last summer and I hadn't been performing. So literally it had been months since I had performed. And my first performance was in front of Kesha, Jason Maraz, and Jojo and Jordan. And I was freaking out my little moves beforehand. Those were amazing moves, by the way. But honestly, yeah, you know,

it was hard to watch back and see myself be so nervous and cry and be emotional. But that's part who I am and I kind of, you know, right in the moment, I get super overwhelmed, but that's just kind of part of my process. And then I was able to kind of build that confidence. And I realized that a lot of it was my own mind getting in the way. And as soon as I just shifted and said it before the performance being like, I can't do this. What if I messed up? I switched it to being, I got this. I'm going to do it. He didn't really believe it at first. But then eventually I did. And I was like, I just wouldn't let the nerves, you know, and that voice in my head take over before I got on. So it was like a big shift for me. That's incredible. It took me 30 years to figure that one out.

So good for you because that it's such a powerful shift when you can have that conversation with yourself. And even if you know you're like maybe I don't believe it, but you eventually will. I preach that all the time. So good for you for realizing that. Do you perform better when you're nervous um no okay because because like i think about myself as like in my dance career or anything that i've done i always perform so much better when i'm nervous and i didn't know if that was maybe the same for you i do feel like though if you're not nervous it's weird because being nervous means that you care and you're passionate about it and i mean there could be a difference i mean i was nervous for a lot of reasons and i feel like it's good to have like a normal

a lot of nerves, but I deal with a lot of anxiety anyway. So it was just, you know, overwhelming and also having like a partner. So it wasn't just me. I felt like, well, okay, if I go up there and I mess up and I go home, okay. But, you know, I felt responsible. And then once, you know, we were able to have open discussions and I realized, oh, he's nervous too. I felt, I felt better because he was trying to, you know, protect me because he knew I was open because I'm very open with my emotions and I expressed myself a lot. And as soon as he told me that, oh, I was feeling that way too. I just didn't want you to feel worse. I was like, no, you, you telling me that you also feel nervous makes me feel better because, not because he is nervous, but because we can share

in that and support each other. And I didn't feel like the weight of our performances was on my shoulders. Yeah. And you're not questioning, like, why am I so nervous and he's not? Like, it's, if you can just be honest with each other and go out there. And obviously, I have to ask, because American Idol and The Bachelor are the same network. Listen to your heart feels like such a combination of the two. Did you know who Trevor was before? No. Oh, not at all.

I don't remember him from American Idol. I found out like around the first or second day only because other people were talking about it. And then I asked him like, oh, what season was he on? I found out that he was on the same season as one of my best friend's boyfriend. friend. So that was kind of a funny thing. But I still didn't know about like the whole Katie Perry thing or any of that. I just was like, oh, he was on American Idol. And then I didn't until after. I was like, oh, okay. You know, thing and everything. So that was funny. When was that the finale that filmed, like where I was there? When was that in Nashville? I can't remember.

It was like, it was February, like mid, right before Valentine's Day. Okay. So February. And now I don't even actually know the question to this. Are you and Trevor still together? Yeah. So, you know, we had such a, we have such a great experience on the show and we're working on things and we still talk and, you know, we have some really exciting things coming up. And I'm really excited to, you know, share that with everyone. Oh, that's awesome. I mean, you definitely didn't answer my question, but I totally understand how this works.

But we saw like, I mean, we saw, I remember asking that. question on the show and obviously they can't show everything we were there for so long and they only have to show you know an hour and a half of of stuff so I remember asking if you guys were in love while I was judging but I don't remember the answer and so then I always am curious because I'm like okay you go through this process on the show with someone very easy to fall in love because you're just like with them all the time you're being so vulnerable with each other you're I don't want to say force but kind of like that you're there to talk about progressing a relationship. Um, so then I always wonder how challenging that would be going now after the show.

You're in different cities, doing different things. It's quarantine. How do you even keep up a relationship like that? Yeah. I mean, you know, for us, um, we, we just, I feel like because we share in so much of the same passions and we from the beginning understand each other so much. It's funny because we are so similar. Like, we are almost the exact. We are almost the exact same person except for a very small thing that then makes us very different because he's very calm chill on the surface collected and I'm very like out there with it but when we talk like we have the same opinions about everything like we think all the same things are funny like we have so much in common and you know through quarantine and all this craziness um you know he's been just as supportive

as he was for me on the show and you know I think if you would ask him he would say the same for me Um, and, you know, we started off as like best friends. Um, he used to get offended, but I didn't mean. And he thought at first, because the first time I said, I was, I think I said like, you know, like, you're such a great, you know, friend. Like, honestly, whatever. And then he told me later, they thought I was friends on him. I was like, no, like, that was such a big compliment. Because for me, I fall very fast. I get into, um, relationships or I tend to date people and I get those feelings, you know, they just come out. And I just come out. me and I don't really start with building that foundation of a friendship and having that friendship with him, you know, meant so much to me. Like he was my best friend on the show. That's, I mean, that's what you want out of a relationship, especially in that kind of situation when you're having to like lean on each other and be there for each other and have that presence on stage too. What does it mean when he says he can see your soul? What does that mean? I think that, you know, we have so many, you know, deep conversations and I think he can

see past, you know, sometimes I can be a little dramatic and a little, a little out there and, you know, ridiculous. But I think, you know, he sees me for everything. Like, he sees that funny side, that goofy side. But he also knows that I am mature and emotionally mature and I am able to have those deep meaningful conversations and I'm interested in knowing who he is and why he is the way he is. And I felt very seen by him. And I told him that, you know, from the beginning. And I felt like I could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge me. And that's been a fear for a long time for me because I just, I thought so many things about myself would be too much for somebody. And I felt so scared for so long to be open about those things because I thought it would

scare people away, but that was never his attitude. And that was, you know, such a big, big thing for me. That's, yeah, that's, I mean, that's all you can ever ask for out of a partner is to be able to 100% fully be who you are, the good, bad and the ugly and have them still love you being like, well, yeah, you're a human being. Like, that's just, that's the goal. So I like that he was like that for you. So we're all staying close to home these days, trying to change up our activities. I know I'm trying to keep somewhat of a regular schedule for myself, so it feels more like everyday life, my morning coffee, afternoon chats with friends, work, of course, making the podcast for you guys. But sometimes it's hard to remember the essentials.

And one of those things for me is staying hydrated. However, I recently started using a hydrate spark water bottle. And you guys, this thing is so handy and awesome and coming in clutch right now. It reminds me when I need to drink more water, which I always need a reminder. So I never forget. And let's be real, when I don't have hydrate spark, I always forget. Always. Now that I've been keeping up with my water intake, I have been feeling more energized and just better in general. People always told me about that, but I was like, eh, water.

Now that I have this and it reminds me and it's fun, I'm like, oh, wait, I do feel better. Staying hydrated is a great way to help keep a healthy immune system, which is obviously super important right now. But it's easy to get distracted throughout the day. substitute water for coffee or let's face it wine shout out to spade and sparrows but that's where hydrate spark comes in i just synced my hydrate spark smart water bottle to their free mobile app and a sensor in the bottle makes it glow when it's time for me to drink water i love it plus if you miss the glow reminder the synced hydrate spark mobile app will also send you text to make sure you're drinking that h2 o welcome to the freak in future people it's like it's like a little assistant telling you when to drink water try the hydrate spark

smart water bottle today and get $10 off your first order by going to hydrateSpark.com slash vine now. Hydrate is spelled with an I. So that's h-I-D-R-A-T-E spark.com slash fine. That's hydrate spark.com slash fine for $10 off your first order. Did it bother you? I'm sure you got this. I try not to pay attention to like when other people get trolls on social media because

otherwise I will go after them like for you on your behalf. Was it frustrating for people to say things? like that they thought you were too immature because they're probably just basing it on your age when really, and I've said this since the beginning, I always thought you were like really mature with your emotions and how you how vulnerable you can be. So how frustrating is that and do you respond to trolls? Okay. It was very frustrating at first. I took it to heart because because I am such a bubbly person, especially when I was younger, people associate that with me being ditsy. Yeah.

And I, um, for a long time, you know, I've been in a lot of situations where I've been the youngest. And going into the show, I had a feeling I would be on the younger side. Um, and it was funny, though, because in the house, like a lot of my best friends, they, they would come to me and they would tell me that I was their older sister. It was funny because Trevor and I were like those people in the house, like people would come to us for advice and, you know, seeing people, um, I think what bothered me the most is because I was crying or got nervous before the performances, the hate that I was receiving from people were like, well, what kind of singer,

if you know you want to be a singer and go on the show, like, why do you get nervous before? And like, I guess what French would be, it's like, well, I don't know if you're a singer or an artist or of any, you know, I mean, just because you get nervous, you get upset doesn't discount the fact that you're passionate about what you do. I think it's the opposite. I'm so passionate about it. I don't really respond to trolls. I won't, you know, lie at first, I think for the first two weeks, it hit me really hard because I've never, I've never dealt with that before on that scale.

And I'm sensitive and I take things to heart. But then I kind of came around and just started deleting it because it, I was getting messages from a lot of women saying, you know, you being so open. your emotions and admitting that you were nervous, like gives me hope that I can overcome my anxieties. And that is all I've ever wanted because I look up to people like you and Demi Lovato and like so many people that are so open about how they feel and those and being open about mental health issues. I think that is so important. And that's what I've always wanted to do. Like through my music and if I was ever given a type of platform, like that was

always something really important to me. So, um, yeah, I feel like for the most part, I'm just deleting and trying to focus on the good ones. And I feel like I came to a place where it's like, you know, people are going to hate and those haters, you know, you could spend all day trying to convince them to like you. But instead, you can just be yourself and the people that will love and support you. Those are your warriors and your fighters. And that's what I'm going to, you know, focus on it. Absolutely. And your haters are probably still going to download your music because unfortunately people want to not like what you put out that's what haters do they want to find things wrong but then it's like there's you're still getting them downloads so you win streams yeah it's sometimes i do reply but only in a funny way yeah i'm this i'm the same way sometimes i use my humor and like someone will lose their mind on me and i'll be like you seem chill you seem really chill yeah it's fun so i think it's funny i i feel bad i think it's funny i i feel like some people feel think you don't see it, but I do see it. And I, there were so many situations where people

would hate on me a lot. And then I would see them, uh, come at me and say something nice. You're like, oh, will you come on do an interview with me? I'm like, oh, now you like, I know. I felt the same way. I'll remember, I remember going through like, um, like really big podcast after the show wanting me to come on like after being the bachelor. And I'm like, dude, I listen to your podcast. You absolutely like dragged me and called me awful names. Like, no, I will not come on your podcast. People are just, yeah, you're right. They think you don't see it because you've got so many other comments coming through and things to do. We'll be right back with more off the vine, grape therapy. This is off the vine, grape therapy. Let's talk about your music

for a second because you have an insanely beautiful voice and you sing mostly country, right? Yeah. do pop country um i'm all about that storytelling so yes that i that's why i love country music i've been the biggest fan of country since i was little and it's the same thing it's always just such a beautiful story and i feel like i mean don't get me wrong i love a good hip-hop jam and everything else but country music has just always been my favorite for that reason um but have you been i don't remember if you said this on the show i'm sure you did just like totally involved in music since you were a little oh yeah I've been singing since I was, like, out the womb, I feel like.

My grandma was, like, a big influence on me. We used to sing together all the time. And I used to do a lot of, like, little shows. And, you know, in high school, I did, like, musicals and, like, musical theater and stuff. But it just didn't feel right for me. I think what it was is, like, I didn't have the confidence to do my own music yet, but I always did creative writing. And I was always really interested in, I wrote a lot of poetry.

And then in my earlier years of high school, I taught myself piano. And I feel like as I gained more confidence, I was like, oh, I'm going to put my lyrics. These are lyrics, you know, and I'm going to put it to music. And I didn't understand chords or how it worked or music theory. And I was just kind of fumbling around. But that was like such a big change for me. And I was like, this is what I want to do, you know? And I just, I had such, like you, I've had such a strong connection to country music and just,

feeling like, you know, I mean, no one writes a hook like those writers and tells a story and those turnarounds at the end of the chorus like, it kills me. I was like, this is exactly what I wouldn't do. And that's why I knew Nashville was like the right place for me. Yeah. Nashville has the most incredible songwriters. It blows my mind. Like I've done a few songwriting sessions. And sometimes I'm like, oh shit, I should probably contribute something. Because I'm just like mind blown watching them. Like I'll just sit back and be like, like how do you just come up with that or then put it to like musicians and songwriters to me always are just they blow my mind with how the the talent that just oozes out of them in a songwriting

session. I'm like that's when I was so insecure going into my first songwriting session because I was like, well, who am I to go to Nashville and like go right with these insanely talented people? And I just remember like shaking, walking into my first songwriting session and being like, I'm going to suck. And then doing that same. thing that you did turning around and being like, no, you have something to say. You love storytelling. Like just go in there and say whatever. You never know what's going to sound dumb or what's going to be incredible and work. Yeah. The best advice that I got was dare to suck. And I live by that. And I'll go into a writing session and I will just come up with like eight

different lines. And some of them are bad. And some might be good. But I just throw them out. And I've learned I try to just like not be embarrassed because some ideas aren't that great. But if you just go and flow and do it and like loosen up, because I used to be so uptight, like I wouldn't want to say anything until I thought it was like the perfect line. But that's, you know, when you're being more collaborative and you could just be open and feel safe and also because I am such an overshare and open person, I love being a songwriter because it's always a therapy session. Everybody is so open and you're like in your feelings and you get to just talk about

things and work it out. And through songwriting, I feel like you're able to discover things about yourself. and sometimes things just come out and I was like oh my go where did that come from totally no it's true it is such a cool experience because nobody's judging nobody even thinks like even if it is a bad idea in your opinion like that might spark something in their brain to come up with something like you just have to go and lay it lay it all out there and and not be um scared i love that dare to suck i love that i always always no i just saw this quote like five days ago and now i live by it but it's said, if you can't beat fear, do it scared. So I love thinking of like, okay, you can do it.

You can do it scared. It doesn't matter if you, you know, suck or if you was amazing, like, just do it anyways because you're going to be afraid of, you know, your biggest dreams. And if you just don't do it because you're scared, like what a waste. I know. And I feel like it's just about doing it over and over again. Like when I was on the show, I struggled with that because I was like, I don't know what, it came a point. I was like, I don't know what to do. because, you know, I know that I can sing. I know that I can write.

I'm confident in that. And, you know, when I was singing in the house and we would jam, like, you know, I felt so confident, but it was just like the stage of knowing that I was being judged, which is my greatest fear. And I didn't know that that was going to happen, you know, that we were going to be judged in front of everyone. And I was like, oh, God. That's like my biggest fear.

Like, so it, you know, it really challenged me. But, I mean, through all of that, I just feel like a. a much stronger person because I didn't know that I could push myself that hard. And I feel like now coming back to Nashville, I'm like in total like, let's go mode. Absolutely. Yeah. You're going from like being nervous about performing to going on the biggest stage of national television and then performing in front of people like Kesha.

And like that's so wild. And it must be like you've already lived so many life experiences as a musician now from going through that at such a young age. It's so incredible and it's obviously only going to, you know, boost your career, which I think is so funny because there are some musicians that go on The Bachelor and The Bacheloret to try and, like, promote themselves as musicians. And ABC was like, I'm going to get ahead of this and I'm just going to make a show about it because they can quit using me for their music career.

I'll help them and make money off it too. It's amazing. But did you ever think about going on The Bachelor rather than listening? into art because you did watch that show, right? Oh, yes. I'm a, so I am a huge fan of The Bachelor, Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise, all that. The funny thing is, is that, okay, so, you know, when you go to the movies and you see a cartoon, and it's like from the, from the producers or directors from Dispickable Me, and it's like, I'm in Nemo, and you're like, oh, cool. So I thought that, you know, I thought, oh, I had no idea that it was like, I did not know Chris. hair someone was going to be there. And when I saw him, I was like, what? Like, I didn't know, it was going to be like, you know, rose ceremonies and doing all that. So, um, there were a lot of funny moments because Chris would be like, well, Jamie knows what show this is. And I was like, everyone, this is how it works. That's so funny that no one else really knew. Yeah. Um, but it was,

yeah, it was, it was so surreal to have that part of it. Um, but I, I never considered going on the bachelor. I, I loved it. I love it. I love it. But, I am way too jealous of a person, and I felt so much stress just even being there and having it, you know, at first, it's kind of more Bachelor and Paradise kind of type style. That was so stressful for me. I think it's so funny because I thought, you know, you would be more nervous when, like, the guys would give out the roses. But I felt the most anxiety, like having the rose because it felt like so much pressure. Yes. I mean, I feel that.

It's, I've everyone always asked, like, what's, yeah. everyone's like what's your favorite experience like bachelor or being the bachelor and I'm like I loved being on the bachelor and like being a contestant I had so much fun and and then being the one with the power to hand out the roses I was always like oh great I'm going to disappoint so many people I'm going to hurt somebody's feelings I'm going to like make somebody think they have a chance when really they're just great TV like it was just always going to go to you know bother somebody but I totally understand what you mean by that let's take a second we all know it's easy to get trapped in scrolling on your phone all day, the Instagram suck hole is real, especially when you're stuck at home. Keeping tabs on the news may be helpful for some, but constant, real-time updates can also be a recipe for anxiety. If you're feeling overwhelmed during these uncertain times, I'm right there with you guys. This crisis has reminded us all that we are all vulnerable, it's okay to reach out for support, and this Mental Health Awareness Month, with Talk

Space, you can connect with a licensed therapist to talk it out all from the safety of your own home. By taking care of your own well-being, you're helping raise awareness about the importance of mental health. This product has helped me and so many of my friends. It's extremely convenient. If you've been nervous to go and talk to a therapist, this is the perfect service. Like I said, you don't even have to leave the comfort of your home or for me, my dogs. Honestly, I'm such a huge supporter of therapy and counseling, which I think you guys all know by now. And talk space is making it easier for people to get the help that they need.

That's just incredible, if you ask me. The bottom line, you deserve support and don't have to struggle on your own. Your Talkspace therapist can be your dedicated support system there to help you feel healthier and more empowered, even in these uncertain circumstances. As a listener of this podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on Talkspace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code Vine to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. that's vine and talkspace.com and then oh wait what was oh yeah i wanted to talk to you about how you were open about having trust issues and having been cheated on in the past relationships and you even said

in your show bio that your least favorite thing is getting ghosted which is totally understandable um so what like is you said four relationships they've all had they've all cheated on you yep everyone what in the hell like what is what i mean you're so young but to, they don't, they aren't all like that. That's good to know. I think, you know, for me, you know, they say you accept the love you think you deserve. And I just didn't love myself. And I did not pick the right people.

And the thing is, I am very self-aware. And I knew a lot of times. Like, I saw the red flags. And sometimes I have this joke with my friends. I call them pink flags. And I'm like, well, maybe. Yeah. You're not completely seeing red.

You're like, yeah, I don't want to see red, so I'm going to see pink. Yeah. But, yeah, I just, I did make a lot of mistakes. And I got myself in a lot of bad situations. And I do have such a big heart. And I have so much, like, love that I want to give to a person. And I get attached. And I look past a lot of things.

And I just feel like that led me, you know, just to make a lot of, wrong decisions but i don't regret anything because it brought me to where i am today um so i definitely i definitely believe in that that you um attract the love you think you deserve and i mean everybody has to learn the hard way through relationships like how many times do you ever hear somebody say like nope first boyfriend right guy treats me like a princess we've been together since high school like that's very rare um so it is it does take you know, those, those hardships and tough relationships to find yourself worth. And I just think like probably so many young girls that watch the show or listen to this podcast, I've obviously

probably been through the same thing and would want to know what do you do to work on yourself to know your self worth to get to that place. Yeah. I think for me, something I do, okay, I do this positive affirmations and you think three things of yourself. Go to the mirror and you say them like you can say them quiet at first and then you do it three times like in a row and it's just stuff like that or leaving notes on your mirror or I think for me talking it out with my friends or someone I'm dating and just being open about it because when you keep that to yourself sometimes you don't even realize that you're behaving in that way and that you're not treating yourself with the respect that you deserve and I just I just think it's about trying you know different things

I've, you know, I've tried, you know, doing therapy and I've, I've tried doing the positive affirmations and just kind of pushing myself or faking it until you make it, you know, I think, you know, for me about like the age thing and being so young, I mean, I went to boarding school when I was 15. So basically from the age of 15, I would, felt like I was parenting myself. And I was very independent. And I went through a lot on my own, which made me stronger. And I feel like through that, I've come to know, you know, when I'm getting myself in the situation of okay I'm in a place right now where I'm not loving myself why is that and kind of digging into that or journaling or finding something that you can put

that in and something that you can feel proud of because I feel like when you lack self-love you know there might be reasons for that you might think you know you need external gratification or could be this and that but like deep down it could be like a core issue that you're not realizing so I think it's just about learning more about yourself learning why maybe you don't love yourself and that can kind of help because once you know why, that's like the big first step. That's so true. That's a great point. I feel like there's always a core issue that sometimes people are just too afraid to look that deep into who they are because it's scary to look at your shadows or like any, you know, dark times. But that is, it's always your root feelings of what really

triggers you and then working on that and learning about yourself, which is so hard to do. Like, I mean, I really feel like I didn't start to even try to learn about myself till like 26, 27. I was just like going through life, like, whatever, I'm sweep things under the rug. I'll just keep going and doing whatever. And then it was really after a hard time that I was like, okay, let's let's get into this. Let's get messy with it and figure things out. And it's a game changer, a life changer. Yeah.

Sometimes it takes it going really bad to realize, okay, something's wrong here. I need to step up and, you know, figure it out. And I feel like, sorry, I totally interrupted because I got excited because I'm like, I can't wait to see what you're going to be like as a 30 year old woman because you're already on such a good track and such a good path in life that I'm like, oh my gosh, you in like nine years from now is going to be chef kiss. Sorry, I interrupted you. What were you saying?

No, I was just saying like even like kind of back to the point of like the hate thing. Like even in your song, I think you said something about like the world. words that you say to yourself are like the ones that hit you the hardest and I think that was probably the most difficult part of the show when people literally got right to the point and said like the deepest thing that I'm insecure about and like those are the ones that that you know really get to me but I feel like I'm like okay fine I accept that now you know it's like okay these are my fears I don't want you to know and now that it's all pointed out I'm like I have nothing to lose and that's when they stop hating too is when they're like oh shit she can make fun of herself or she can like acknowledge these things um well then what am i doing i'm not going to point that out if she already is like beat me to it exactly i love that i love that flip um okay and then i want i mean we let me just push a little what what is your relationship status are you single is it complicated or are you in a relationship um you know well i think you guys will continue to kind of

figuring that out in the coming Yes, media training for the win That's amazing So let's talk about what's next for you Because even though you obviously Like runner up is still an incredible thing for the first season

of listen to your heart You still have amazing things to come You just released your debut single Is that right? Well, so actually I'm pushing it to Friday I wanted to make sure that everything was perfect So I released a little snippet of it um on monday um just like the end of the chorus um but the full song will be available on

friday and i'm so excited because um i'm such a perfectionist and i've i have so many songs under my films oh that's amazing i'm just been afraid to i don't know release it because i was like no it's not perfect it's not perfect it's not perfect do it scared dare to suck exactly so i'm really I, well, I hope this doesn't suck. It doesn't suck. No, it doesn't. I'm excited, you know, to release it and have that out there and some other projects that might be happening soon.

So I'm just excited to have my best because I feel like that's where I gain a lot of my confidence from. You know, I'm confident in my songwriting and in my music. And I feel like that's when I'm able to be vulnerable with people and share, like, who I, you know, really am like you know when you're on on the show you know people are watching you having this perception and i'm not going to go and fight everyone to be like no i'm not really like this i'm like this and listen but instead i can just you know share my songs and that was that was really awesome even through the while the show was airing you know just playing songs that i'd written at different

times of my life and i think that um that shows your soul and i think you know kind of back to your point before that's what trevor saw like in our music that was that i've never really seriously dated a musician before so that's like for me being able to connect with him on that um because i feel like you are so vulnerable in a writing session and you know when we wrote together on the show we wrote a song and that was kind of like a big you know turning point for us because we're like oh yeah it's a very intimate experience yeah that's yeah that's amazing we'll be right back with more off the line great therapy Hey, I'm Autumn Calabrese, and I have a question for you.

How do you do life? I might be a superstar trainer, but I'm also a boy, mom, sister, daughter, friend, and entrepreneur. You might think my life is all working out and cooking healthy, delicious recipes. But trust me, there is so much more to it, and this is it. This is all of those real moments you talk about with your family and friends. Ever wonder what else life has to offer? Bring your curious appetite and let's do life together. Subscribe now at Apple Podcast, Spotify, and podcast, $1.

com now back to off the vine grape therapy um i mean i always do a segment about confessions and i'm thinking because i remember you saying like oh god my dad watches this show and i mean i know you it's so weird to watch yourself like make out on television you're like oh my gosh the weirdest thing ever but do you have any good confessions like from while the show was airing of anything that happened or or during filming that we wouldn't see as viewers, like anything in the house that happened? Yeah, okay, I think, okay, one of the biggest things is that I am the clumsiest human on Earth.

I thought they were going to be like a compilation at the end of how many times I tripped. Like, every time I would walk anywhere, like, Trevor would walk in front of me, be like, are you okay? Do you know, I literally tripped like 30 times. I think in one performance you couldn't really tell because they just showed the top half of me, but I fell a little bit down the stairs.

Oh my God. I would take my shoes off, my heels off, as soon as the performance was over, and I was just like, no, I remember the performance in Vegas, I had to pee like eight times. And so I, like, kept taking my shoes off, and I was, like, running through the hotel, like holding my shoes and my dress up, whatever.

But, yeah, I'm very, I'm very clumsy. And the dad thing, it was really funny. I spoke to my dad before the episode, because he told me before the show, he was like, the only thing, no boom, boom room. And I was like, okay. And then I got that amazing. And I, you know, I took the, we had the fantasy suite card. And I told my dad right after I was like, yeah, I did go to the fantasy suite.

And when I spoke to him yesterday before the finale, I was like, yeah, dad, tonight is the fantasy suite. He's like, wait, what? It didn't already happen? And I was like, no. He's like, I saw him carry you into something. I'm like, no, that wasn't it. He's like, he closes his eyes every time. Some of it is kind of cringy to watch.

I'm like, oh, my God. So I'm thinking, oh, my grandpa's watching this, my cousins. And I'm like, okay. It was in the moment when I felt it, you know, I am who I am and I wasn't going to, like, hide any, you know, anything. No, you know, your father's love with someone. That's, yes. And kissing is allowed.

It's just weird to watch yourself do it. No, I know. The sounds. Oh, the sounds. I swear they like turn up the mic at those parts. I know. I know. I feel that.

Okay. So what's, so your confession is your clumsy. Oh, yeah. My confession is I'm clumsy. And I feel like also too, they didn't really show a lot of like the friendships, you know, in the house. And I made such, such amazing friends there. And it was so amazing because I was really, I was nervous that people wouldn't be genuine.

And I was, and, you know, mostly everyone was so genuine and so themselves. I think it's a big musician thing. Yeah. And it was cute how you guys were all rooting for each other. All together. Yeah. I remember one week someone when they didn't get a rose, we all actually gave them a piece of our rose.

And it was just so beautiful to see how much. everyone was so supportive of each other especially even when it switched into a competition like I think it was funny because some people I saw like a meme of me being like did Jamie think she won the show because I was so happy and I was like I didn't I didn't care either way because I felt like I knew before I was walking away winning I mean I made it farther than I ever thought and um it was such a dream to perform on that stage I mean it it was crazy. And I, you know, I love Chris and Bree. They're such genuine people. And I, I I just knew either way, I was, I was going to be happy if they want. I was to be happy of

Rudy and Matt one. Like, I just, I don't know, I love these people. And everyone was really deserving. We all went through it together. And I didn't expect everyone to be so supportive. Like, you know, when it switched to competition, I thought, oh, maybe people wouldn't like talk anymore. Well, plus you're on a show that's like the bachelor stuff. So you're like, you know it's about drama and you know that's part of the show and it was seriously like I was like part of me wanted a little more drama because I was like like come on I want to see some crazy stuff happening but if I think about it I'm like no that's actually so beautiful that you guys all connected in such a like unique way that you're going through this unique thing together and then rooted

for each other and there's so you could just see all the support even Matt and Rudy's breakup I'm like this is the cutest breakup ever yeah I know and I was so so sad to to see Rudy go. That was like, that was my way. Oh, yeah. You were like, no. No, no. I was too. I think I had the same reaction as you because I was like, no, she, her voice is insane. Oh, my God. She's incredibly talented and a beautiful person. And she's so genuine. And I remember the first, the first night, I guess this might be another confession. I guess the first night. So my favorite alcohol is tequila. And the first night. And the first night. She was one of the first girls that I met, I think the second girl.

And I walked up to her and she goes, she was like, hey girl, like, do you want to get some drinks? And I was like, oh, yeah. And she was like tequila. And I was like, okay, you're my best friend for life. And we were just clicked right from there. And it was just funny because, like, you know, her energy, she's very genuine, very herself. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. So at first I was, I felt a little uptight.

And I was like, oh, I don't know if you know, all these people are watching me. This is awkward. But then talking to Rudy and then talking to Trevor that night were like the first two people that I really felt like, oh, my God, they're so genuine. And then as the show continued, and I got to know other people, I built other strong friendships as well. And that was just incredible, you know, support through the show and also after. So yeah, because even like you would think it would be awkward to live with Ryan after. when you guys like had a thing at first but then you guys kind of had that date as friends and i feel like that kind of as a viewer was like oh okay this can work as friends and they can move forward so was it was

weird at all or not after that uh it was a little it was a little i felt i felt really bad i did i did not want to hurt anyone's feelings um you know i i knew that i wanted uh you know that Trevor was the stronger connection, and then I felt that way. And I just, I felt, you know, sad because Ryan is a beautiful human being, you know. He's so kind and he's so, you know, so chill and relaxed and he's talented. And I, you know, it was hard. And Trevor and Ryan were actually bunkmates. It was a little awkward, I guess, because especially when him and Natasha were paired up right after all that drama.

I felt weird because, you know, You know, I didn't know. I wanted to give respect and space. But then when Ryan and I had that other date when we did the sound healing, that was so great. And I feel like after that, it was not awkward at all anymore. And we were able to kind of get it out. And he's just like, I always just, you know, want the best for you.

And I felt the same way. And I feel like that just shows, you know, his character, you know. Yeah. And just even though it didn't work out, you know, he's just still wanted the best for me and he seems like such a sweetie oh he is he's he's so nice that's what uh matt matt was on the podcast he said the same thing like just the nicest guy so i love hearing that all right though we are a part these days we're sharing more and geico would like to say thanks thanks for sharing your savage dance moves thanks for sharing your DIY haircut fails

thanks for sharing your inner lip sync star now it's guy co's turn to share too with the guyco give back a 15% credit on car and motorcycle policies for current and new customers. And because GEICO's committed for the long haul, the 15% credit lasts your full policy term. Visit GEICO.com slash give back for info and eligibility. Learn more about GEICO's 15% credit on car and motorcycle policies at GEICO.com slash give back. Okay, we're going to play a quick game before I let you go. It's the game of hypotheticals. So if you could perform with any one artist, who would you choose? Casey Musgraves.

Oh, I'm obsessed with Casey Musgraves. She's my favorite. That's any time I go into a songwriting session, I'm like, Casey Musgraves, Musgraves vibes. Yes, I would, I remember I saw her at Bridge Stone for her final performance of Owoodo World, the 2.0 tour. And I was there with one of my friends. That's also a musician.

And we were literally in the last row. Like, there was nobody behind us. And we're like, someday. there up on that stage with her i think her not would buy really well too um totally oh that's so i love it her and maran morris for me i love because they like is the same thing for you yeah i was okay yeah i i i said kacy muskames right away but marin morris is my other one i love her i wrote her a letter once and i don't think i signed it because i didn't i was like i don't want it to be about the fact that like i'm like oh follow me on instagram or whatever

Like, I just, she truly inspired me. I think, you know, Casey Musgraves and Marin Morris are such great artists because their writing is so great. And I mean, in country music for women, it can be really hard to navigate, especially what you can and can't say. And, you know, even with Follow Your Air with Casey Musgraves, it was totally against the grain. They didn't want her to release it. And she did it anyway. And that's inspiring for me because I'm a little edgy, you know, I ain't, I'm no like. Miss America kind of thing, but I want that kind of thing. I agree. They totally inspire me

for the exact same reasons. Like, I always thought, oh, if you sing country music, you have to sing about, like, you know, just like going to church and all these things. And, and, you know, Jesus, which is great, because look at Carrie Underwood. But Marin Morris, like, talks about smoking weed in one of her country songs. And I'm just like, yes, that can still be country music and she's breaking barriers for women in country and i just friggin love it yeah that's awesome okay so you can choose to both of them you'd like to perform with and who knows maybe you might it's a tie it's a tie um if you could have uh if you could have unlimited free concert tickets to any show whether that's broadway concert anything what would you want tickets to tickets to i mean oh god

that's hard okay well i guess i would probably pick a music festival because then you get all the artists and I could go every year. What a loophole. You found a loophole. That's genius. I've never been to a music festival before. I haven't either. Wait, really? I haven't either. Like, I don't know. I think like the crowds of people gives me a little bit of anxiety, but I always wanted to go, what's the country one? I can't believe I'm blanking on it. Stage coach. I always wanted to go to stagecoach because country music. Yeah. I, I've bought tape. tickets for some multiple times but then it just ended up never working out and i'm like okay but i definitely want to go this year this year that's that is one thing on my bucket list which is so

sad i i should go well you can make things on your bucket list can be very achievable that can be one of them um if you had to be quarantined with one person from the listen to your heart cast who would you choose oh that's hard i mean i probably say Trevor or Rudy yeah yeah Trevor Or Dicla and romance. Okay, which already released song do you wish you could have written and sang yourself? Oh, wow. I think about the all the time. I actually do this thing in my bedroom sometimes.

It's kind of embarrassing. But I talk to myself and I'm like, so this is the song I wrote, Colin, I can't make you love me. I honestly think that is one of the best songs ever written. Because that is just so true. I mean, you can, oh, God, I think that would be my pick. That's a good one. It's my favorite writer, so that's also hard. I don't know.

But I just think that song has always stuck with me because I think sometimes I try too hard to be overly complicated and just that statement like, I can't make you love me if you don't, you know, it's just, that's, and that's been such a struggle for me in my life because I've loved a lot of people that didn't love me back. it's such a simple sentence but is so powerful yes and i think in that is there's such a beauty in that and i think that's all about what country music is and i don't know that's a song i've heard since i was little and um yeah so i guess i i wish i wrote that one that's a good one that's a good answer uh okay last one if you could have any career other than being a musician what career would

you choose oh my god oh that's hard i don't i honestly cannot picture myself doing anything else which is why you're going to succeed as an artist yeah i always refuse to have a backup plan because i feel like that means that i think that i don't succeed but okay let's say okay hypothetically if i lost my voice and it was not possible whatsoever i think um i've always wanted to be a marine biologist who or a crime scene investigator oh i'm into that i'm into that that's good crime scene investigator would be that's jason my boyfriend says he will do that oh of course you know who that is we met you um we'll do that he says he wants to do that after everything that he's going to do in life he's like that's what i'm going to do next i'm like if it really likes c s i'm going

off of yeah i know i'm like i could totally be penelope from criminal minds yeah right she's so intelligent but i love penelope's so much um j during like all this the recaps that i've been doing for the show or like podcasting with other people it was always so hard for me because i had to remember that i've already met you and trevor and brey and chris and i was like trying to word things so that it didn't seem like uh like i could tell who was at the finale because everyone knew i was going to be on the finale but uh it was just so it was so great meeting you guys and you were so sweet and i just i have very good a very good intuitive feeling that you're going to do so many amazing things with your platform and and your voice like both your voice singing voice and

and just having a voice on social media because I just I like your vulnerability and I like how open you are with everything. And that's what people like in this world and especially in this time. So thanks for being you. Thank you. That means a lot coming from you. Of course. And also tell everybody where they can find your music and your Instagram and everything. Well, okay, so go to your head. It's coming out this Friday. So yeah, hit me up on Instagram, Jamie Gabrielle music. You can pre-save it. It'll be available on iTunes, Spotify, everywhere, YouTube. So I'm excited for everyone to hear it.

I hope everybody feels the love that I feel and when I sing it. Tell me what it's called again. It's called Go to Your Head. Can you give us like a little tease of what it's about or are you saving it? Sure. I think, you know, for me, I think a lot of times in relationships I've been afraid to like, I feel like it's a it's kind of a societal thing too where it's like you know they tell you not to like put yourself out there too much or like to over compliment someone because you're supposed to be like playing and cool but then I have this idea I was like so I always make jokes like oh don't let it go to your head though and I was like you know what like what you know when you get to that place in relationship where you're like no I want to go to your head I want you to feel like you should feel loved you know so that's where the inspiration is for the song kind of came from and you know there's some play on words there you have to see and so

I just you know I hope people can connect to that and you know feel happy when they hear it and kind of just really vibe and just I feel like it's kind of a good a good like you're kind of blasting that in your car and you're feeling it you're like yeah oh great I love that kind of song well I can't wait to listen to it and just congratulations on everything and can't wait to see what what's next for you. Thank you. Yeah, of course. And you can come on the pod anytime. We'll have to do it in person when quarantine's all. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we'll have tequila and podcast again. Yes. And write music. And we'll write. Yes, please. That's right. Amazing. I love it. Well, thank you so much for being on and I will talk to you soon. Okay. Thanks for having me.

I'm Caitlin Briscoe. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine. Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV?