Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Jason and Lo

Episode Date: September 10, 2020

Jason and Lo join Kaitlyn’s for this week’s Grape Therapy and three of them talk about the slumber party they had and how Kaitlyn received a call from a very special celebrity! They also talk about duck boners, Lo’s frequent cemetary walks and Morgan Freeman. Later, they discuss the new cast of DWTS, their favorite Backstreet Boy and each of their spirit animals! GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance EXPRESS – Text VINE to 397-737 to receive $25 off your purchase RITUAL – Visit Ritual.com/VINE to get 10% off during your first three months HOME DEPOT – You can save even more on the styles you love when you use code OFFTHEVINE10 at checkoutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Great Therapy. Caitlin Bristow is going to answer your questions, drink to your confessions, and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. All right, welcome to Great Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, with my two favorite co-host, Lo and Jason, and we just did a doozy of a podcast.

I mean, I don't know where to start to tease this. We talk about everything from like a major celeb who just gave me a casual ring on the phone and how I didn't believe them. From a random number. From a random number. We talk about Lowe's casual Sundays at a cemetery and tune in to find out why I'm actually wanting to go tomorrow. Wednesday, like the Adams family over here. Yeah. We're going to channel our inner Wednesday tomorrow on Sunday.

Yep. Jason talks about how he'd want to be a penguin and slide on his tummy. But you'll have to. No, we talked about all our different spirit animals. Yes, all our different spirit animals. So it was the most random but most fun podcast I've done in a while. We talked about ducks boners. Now you know what?

Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman and duck boners. So we hope you enjoy this podcast because we sure did. We were sober, a little hungover, and on coughing. Coffing? Caffeine. On caffeine. Loveassa.

Enjoy. Ready. Okay. I say bur It's cold in here There must be some toros in the atmosphere I said Ohio, weo, we yo

Ice ice Here we go Jason's doing Okay He's on it Now you're getting the dogs fired up Okay Jason, it's not fair You didn't drink as much wine as

Myself and Lowe last night So you feel great this morning I feel like A sack of assholes you look beautiful though is my mic working yeah sounds good just check check check okay um i actually don't have headphones on so i can't hear you but i'm assuming you sound lovely because the sound of your voice is so that's a soothing little good morning oh not when you do that this is a great start i am not okay this is not a great start this is not a great start i feel like

crap this morning. Jason feels like a million bucks. I feel incredible. You do? I slept like a baby. I took edibles and I also had a few delicious glasses of this new wine company, Spade and Spade and Sparrow. Yeah, you liked it and you're not a big red wine guy. I had a glass of Pino Noir. Yeah. Super dark, dark grape juice. But it was how you would use to romance that to somebody. How's Caitlin's wine? It's a dark grape juice. More on the Welch's side. No, I don't know how to describe wine.

I'm the worst without. Did you have this earring in that says, last night, too? I did. Oh, I'm just noticing it. It's my favorite earring. You should have put in you on the other side. That's amazing.

It's in gold diamonds. It sucks that his full. It's such a cute little, word. It is, yeah. Earring. Delicate. You can see it better in the light now. But it gets the point across, but it's like acute.

Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. Playful. Okay. So we finally had our ideal sleepover that we've been talking about for so long. We're like, we had a slumber party last night. We played games.

We played, um, what was it? Catch phrase. Catchphrase is the best. Oh, by the way, if anybody doesn't know, I'm podcasting with Jason and Lowe. I think people figure that out by now. Oh, good morning, everybody. Good morning. This is really weird.

It's good to be here. It's really weird to podcast in the morning. Like usually I'm drinking. Oh, yes. There it is. Okay. Give me the word. Give me the work.

Oh, the word. Okay. Okay. It's a movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Titanic. Nope. Oh. Great Gatsby.

Yes. Bam. There it is. Hmm. It reminds me last night. I know. Oh, this is something that you hear when you go into a building and you, uh, it's like usually instrumental. There's not much to it.

Elevator music. Yeah. Wow, that was good. Uh, this is a type of email that you can have. There's like Gmail. There's... Al-L. Yahoo. Wow.

Yeah. This is a presentation you give. Powerpoint. Yeah. Okay. Wow. This is something you put on an envelope to send something. A step.

All right. We're going. This is the Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny Depp. All right. Great job. She's super old. I can't believe she's still alive.

And I think she's on gold. Betty White. Yes. This is a famous detective. Oh. Sure. Sherlock Holmes. All right.

Just a quick round. Okay. Wow. That was the game we played last night. And what else? Oh, yeah. Okay, so we have to start off with this story. Was that before after we ordered sushi?

Did we order we were eating it or was it before? It was before. We were waiting on the sushi. Jason made a great table of snacks. He sure did. Spanish peanuts. Nice bowl of salsa. Some crispy chips.

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But at least there's never been. been a better time to switch to Geico. Save an extra 15% when you switch by October 7th. Visit guyco.com to learn more. So we're waiting for sushi. Okay, I have a story. I'm just, I never like, you know what? That's not fair for me to say.

I always say, I never fan girl. I never nerd out, but I do. And I did last night. Last time you nerded out was that people's choice awards for Le Kardashians. Yes. And Kanye West coming out of. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. But this one was like very personal.

like I was like oh like we're friends okay really hits home it really yeah I just like I don't know where to go from here right okay so last night we're waiting on sushi at our little slumber party and this number calls me that I don't recognize and Jason's like do not pick that up why would you pick that up yeah so right it's a Saturday night we're having a great time in this random number from Montreal calls like why would you pick that up I just had a gut feeling yeah I'm just like I'm just like, I'm not paying, I'm not touching that. Because I'm like, okay, who the heck could we call? And I just, I can't believe I answer.

And then on top of it, when you get a call from a random number, I don't know what you guys do, but I won't be like, hello, this is Jason Tartick. I'll just be like, hello, because I don't know who it is. Caitlin's like, Caitlin. I'm like, oh, no. You're live with Caitlin Bristow. I did? We were a little surprised.

Well, no, I mean, you did answer and they're like, is this Caitlin? You're like, this is Caitlin Bristow? Like, yeah. Oh, I'm not a skeptic. I just, like, tell whoever is on the other line who I am and all my dirty secrets. That's the sweet, trusting Canadian side of you. Also, set the stage, you had no expectation for a call. Like, it's not like someone said, hey, you might be getting a call from.

No idea. No idea. I just picked it up. And she goes, do you have it? Oh. Wait, she goes, hey, Caitlin, it's Tyra. Oh, it's the America's next top. Oh, yes.

Hey, hey. That's it. Oh, yeah, it is. You want to be on top? You want to be on top? Do you remember Tyra Banks' song? No. Oh, my God.

She had a song? It was so freaking good. What was it? I'll remember. Okay, here, I'm going to play it for you. Oh, great. That's how I know it was her. Because I could hear Life Size, you know, the movie Life Size.

Yeah. I remember when it was her voice, I'm like, oh, my God, that's Be a Star. No, she had one. It was like shake, shake your body, body, move your body, buddy, buddy, oh, yeah. You know, it's something like that. But it was the hottest video. Did it slap?

Is that what the kids say? It freaking slap. Oh, wait, here it is. Oh, yeah. Do you remember there? Yes. Oh. Five.

Okay, oh my gosh, she was like a modern-day Beyonce. Yeah. This is not like 07? Oh, there goes her wig. Get it, Tyra. Yeah. Yeah, that's... Hot video.

So Tyra Banks called me. Oh, yeah. I just can't. It was so... Tira male. Casual. She was like, hey, Katelyn, it's Tyra. And I was like...

okay and then i was like oh my gosh and skeptic jason over here is like no it's not it's someone trying to get info from you yeah well the first question like right out of tyra banks his mouth was so you excited for your first song like she was kind of like like ask what was the question she said what dancer are you working yeah what dancer yeah no it's a trap and i'm like no it's tyra and he was like i thought it i actually thought it was a prank show from like a canadian radio show was pranking you or something like that which would have been really funny Yeah. That's actually funny.

Okay, so we were all like... I was a little skeptical at first, too. And I'm sitting there being like, oh, my God, I'm doing this dance. And this is my partner and telling her everything. And then Jason's like, no, it's... And then I went, wait a second. I'm like, I have two people with me who don't believe that this is you.

I have two random people. No, I didn't say that. I didn't say random. I have two complete strangers. No. I didn't. Your best friend and your... It's like my fact check.

He's just being nice. I didn't say two random people. I promise you on everything. I said I'm with two. You know, I'm pretty sure it was just two people. Yeah. It was. Anyways.

Sisterhood of the traveling pants over here. Yeah. My little trust tree. Loyal lab today. Thank you. But anyways. And anyways, I was like, I have two people with me and they don't believe this is you. and she was like, okay, um, coming up next on America's top model.

And Lo was like, it's her. She did that to prove it. Yeah. I was like, that's Tyra. That's freaking Tyra. I messaged my girlfriend Bailey this morning and I go, Bailey, Tyra Banks randomly called me just to say hi last night. And I didn't believe it was her.

I thought it was somebody trying to get something out of me. And I made her, and she had to do her voice from America's next top model to prove to me. And she goes, reread what you just sent me. Because I'm like, what the heck? But anyway, she was so sweet. And we had a nice little combo. So sweet. Yeah.

And she talked about her boyfriend and her partner, fiancee in Montreal. Yeah. She was just so sweet. Yeah, she was really good. There's really a moment. A thoughtful queen. Yeah. I bet she didn't call anyone else on the cast.

There's no way. I don't think she was like, I need to get Carol bass now. Oh, I wonder if she called Carol. And Carol was like, who this? Yeah. never heard of you that's isn't that crazy that carol baskin is on this season of dancing with the stars like jason was making a funny point that like if you put together a list of all of the quote unquote celebs that are on this season the one that america would know the most is probably

carol baskin yeah yeah i think it's like how crazy is that if you took yeah every person's name and brought that survey to any american and said circle the first name you actually recognize oh that i think Carol Bat lady that she killed her husband that's how crazy it is that's insane imagine I get beaten out by a Carol Baskin okay do you think well you're not going to in my opinion never say never do you think Carol Baskin's guilty no does a bear shit in the woods does a duck's bone or drag in the weeds oh does it oh yeah that's gross they do how do you know this I googled it actually I'm going to Google it right now Yeah, they definitely get boners.

Do ducks get boners? And I do think that Carol Baskin for sure is guilty. Fed her husband to a tiger. A thousand. Okay, ew, sick. I just don't look, Jason, for a second. I just Google, do ducks get boners? And it

says fact. I'm going to try and not puke when I say this. Ducks have explosive erections. After a male duck mounts the female the erect duck penis explodes into the female reproductive tract spiraling out like a missile this all occurs in less than half a second during which the penis can reach

velocities is that up to 1.6 what's m slash s miles per second i can't ducks have explosive erections. That's foul. How do Ducks have sex with their corkscrew-shaped penis? What a f***? We've got to turn Google off. Okay. No, because I have a game pulled up that I'm going to play.

I feel like... I've never related more to an article. Do you have explosive erections? Same. Relatable. With my corkscrew micro-pidious. T's and peas. Thoughts and press.

We'll be right back with more off the vine, grape therapy. This is off the vine, grape therapy. Okay, you guys are like on this hypothetical train. Last night you were doing all this like, okay, what, like, give me an example of what you did last night. Kaylin was in REM cycle, by the way. Yeah, Caitlin was in REMC cycles. Cycles deep. That's what Spade and Sparles will do, Dia.

But so Lova and I went down this like crazy train of hypotheticals. talked about. What TV show would you watch? What movie would you watch? If it's a random Sunday, what would you do on your Sunday? Which we need to talk about. If you're on death row, I named, how many guys that I dropped? I've named at least 100 guys to low, would you? Yeah. And I said yes to most of them. Okay. Let's think. So you said no to Michael Strahan. Not into it. Here's the thing. Michael Strayhan, I like his build. He's the guy from Good Morning America, right? Easy. I'm joking. I was waiting for your reaction.

Good morning, America. Yeah. But I have a tough time with the little of the gapy gap in the tooth. Oh, see, I find that endearing. I like it on Madonna, but I don't. What about Kate Moss? Sure. Yeah.

It's like, ooh, modally, fun, exotic vibes. But, like, not for a guy I'm going to sleep with. Regis. Yeah. Rest in freaking peace. Yeah. Too soon, Jason. Too soon.

Not even cold yet. Oh, gosh. I love Regis. Oh. Who else was? Wait, Morgan Freeman was another one. In Freeman. Into it, sure.

March of the Penguins. Imagine him talking. To you. Yeah, it's like having sex with God. Yeah. The voice of God. Bruce Almighty. Yeah.

Jim Carrey was another one. Too animated for me in the sack. George Clooney in his response. Remember your response? I actually. George Clooney smells. Oh, did I say that? I feel like he would smell like a musky cologne and like a nice scotch.

I said musk, too. I picture like a really strong, like Italian cheese. Oh, like a stinky cheese. Yeah, I don't know. George Clooney, I think he's attractive. He's just not my, not my jam. And the rock. Okay.

Oh, Jason Mamoa, though. And the rock. That was his jaw drops. He's like right now. Into it. Right now. All right. Let's take a minute and talk about one of my favorite things, clothes, and more specifically, Express. Express is all new and all about you with a fresh assortment of casual, versatile, and super comfortable styles. Yes to comfy. They provide a curated edit of high quality pieces for day, night, and everything in between. Express has expanded beyond occasion ready dresses and suits to include more casual looks for your everyday, which are a mix of the classics we all love and trending pieces to incorporate into your life. look. Their clothes are super, super cute and really wearable for all different body types and

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and organizations that share Express's mission of empowering people to go for their dreams. Be sure to check out Express's website and follow them on Instagram at Express to get some style inspiration. And now you can text Vine 397-737 to receive $25 off your purchase. Who would Jason? Oh, Haley Bailey. He loved, Hally Berry. He definitely was in Hally Berry. Yeah. Also, Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, yeah, you love Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Anniston. And who was, oh, Kiki Palmer. Who's that? She's Michael Strayhands. Really?

Yeah. Love some Kiki Palmer's. I mean, she's adorable. That's so funny. What a, that's, it's like, Lucy Lou. He had all colors of the rainbow. Cameron Diaz.

Cameron, oh, yeah. Oh, you really like the, the, um, Charlie's Angels. So, yeah. Drew Barrymore. Um, so he asked me pick someone who maybe like, you don't think has this. Oh, Jessica Beale.

Top. Oh, so then your, your conclusion was I like girl next door, right? He loves a girl next door. Doesn't like a vixen. and he wants a girl just as sweet. Mandy Moore in a walk to remember, minus the cancer at the end. It's really sad.

You hate tattoos. I don't hate tattoos. I just don't have any tattoos. And you don't. I'm getting another one. What are you going to get? You are a girl next door. Just it's a different type of neighborhood.

It's just a rough part of town. It's the streets. Yeah. Yeah, the streets of Alberta. That's funny, Lowe. Wait, so what's, okay, so my point of this was Jason goes, okay, let's, hypothetically speaking, it's a Sunday, you have the whole day off, what are you doing? And Lowe, yeah, but he literally goes, you know, I'd wake up and have coffee, I'd have a little chia pudding. That's my favorite.

And then I would go to the cemetery. Oh, you did say that. Okay, so first Farmers Market. I want to get a croissant. I can't wait to take you guys to the L.A. Farmer's Market. I've been. I did B-roll there for The Bachelorette. Oh, fine.

Like, Caitlin just waltzing through the farmer's market. Picking up some fresh beets out of the garden. But you do love a beat. I get like sunflowers and a nice coffee. But anyway, I like to go to the cemetery and I'm going to take you guys. So messed up. That's my thing. All right.

Do you feel spirits? Um, yes. Okay. What do you? So I get to everything. Chia pudding, farmer's market.

Oh, you get that part. Relaxing. And then you take a detour to the, to the cemetery. Why? Okay. I love going to cemeteries for several reasons.

Okay. Because I know. Several. Yeah. It's like where I go probably three times a week. What? What? Are you being serious?

I believe. I swear. I'm like, I'm not. follow you. Yeah. Like secretly. On my close friends, you guys are on that list.

I am not on that list. Yes, you are. Both of you are. I've never seen you go to the cemetery. Oh, I put, yeah. Well, you're not watching that story that maybe you're just, you're just hitting too fast. There's a lot of little gems in there.

You're one where I don't skip through. Oh, that's very sweet. Yeah. The greatest stories. At style LVR. Style LVR. Oh, okay. So here's a thing.

The cemeteries in Los Angeles, where I, live. They are freaking iconic and beautiful. So with the whole, I've always loved going to cemeteries ever since I was a kid anyway. And when I travel to certain places, I always look for like a really cool cemetery just because I'm like, I like the old graves. And it's kind of like you get to see, I don't know, like a little part of history. Like you'll see like, oh, there's a ton of like veterans or there's a lot of, I don't know, like I'll notice like I went to Hawaii and I was like, wow, look at all these Japanese graves. Like that's really cool. Um, but. But here in L.A., it's completely different because the graves here are another level.

Like, I went and had my croissant with Judy freaking Garland. I went and had a little coffee with, I don't know, like, there's, I mean, everyone, like, some, there's so many iconic stars. So, and the cemeteries here specifically, they're big tourist attractions. What's the Beatles? Are they buried here? They're not, unfortunately. But there's, who's the one, like, Carrie Fisher from Star Wars? There's, like, a ton of people.

Like, I can't even think of all the names. When you sit down. How are you doing, Naya? Like, rest in peace. She just passed. She's at Forest Lawn. Like, I got to see her, you know, but. Do you, like, when you sit with Judy, do you talk to her?

Sure. Sometimes they'll tell her about my, no. Don't you try and make me out to be a crackpot. Does she talk back to you love? Does she give you love? No, Jason. Some people go to the beach in L.A., you know, Some people go to a park, and some people go to a cemetery.

I actually didn't even want to admit this on the air because I feel like it's like my little secret spot. This is, oh, okay. It's a secret only because with the COVID thing happening right now in L.A., all the hiking trails are, like people are unemployed and like, you know, life is a little bit slower. So hiking trails like Runyon Canyon and some of these really popular ones are packed with people. So you have to hike, wear a mask the whole time. Oh, sick. I don't mind wearing the mask. I'm not one of those anti-maskers.

If you are listening to this and you are, shame on you. I am a mask like. Yeah, but when you're hiking and it's 100 degrees in L.A., it's tough to have that mask on sometimes. I do like the cemetery, though, because it's just me and my spirits, you know? I'm into this. And the cemeteries in L.A., they're super, like, busy, expensive, like, classy. So you still get, like, nature, but it's, like, really clean. There's not, like, anything to worry about.

I feel safe when I go to a cemetery. There's surveillance and security. I've done hikes with my friends because they're like massive cemeteries. But the one, yeah, I'll take you. I went to Forest Lawn. That's like a really popular one. Michael Jackson is buried there. Stop it.

Yeah. Have a little brunch with Michael. It's awesome. Yeah. And by the way, Michael Jackson still has so many fans. He's died over a decade ago. But he still has so many people that come and visit. And he always has constant like flowers at his spot.

My gosh. But I like. So how long do you say? stay at the cemetery. Well, I get my cardio in. Like, I literally work out. Like, I'm doing, like, lunges and squats and burpees and. Yeah. Which is that? I full, I on, yeah. No, like, no. Like, on Sundays, it's like, I'll do, like, a casual stroll. Like, I'll get my steps in. It's more for, like, to clear my head, listen to a good podcast. Yeah. And walk around. But, um, like, during the week, why I go two to three times a week, I go early in the morning. Again, no one's there. And I get my

workout in and oh and i always see like nature like well like deer and eagles i think it's like kind of intriguing to read a lot of tunes like the stories and stuff or do you not do that no i mean a big reader not burpy guy speaking of Bambi that's a question oh i was trying to do a cool transition well i was going to do a hypothetical about dying another hypothetical uh-huh would you rather be buried or would you rather be cremated this is dark oh i love this uh yeah let's go into this conversation um so i have so not speaking of bambi yeah yeah okay okay um i'd say cremated and i want to be so here's the thing i'd like to be cremated and then i kind of want like i want you guys to get a little of the ash maybe and

maybe use it like katelyn maybe make like a good like chili or something and throw a little of my ashes Because then I'm going to be part of you always. Because I eat it? But then I would just poop you out. Well, take the nutrients out of me. Get rid of the rest. Okay. Okay.

If you're not going to put me in a chili, sprinkle me in the ocean. Okay. That's fine. Oh, actually, I did hear about this new thing you can do where they put you in, when you die, they take your body and they put it in like a pod, if you will, almost like the shape of an almond seed. And then they take that pod and they put... Freeze it.

No, they put that in the ground. And they put, you can pick, the family can pick whatever type of tree. And there's these new like tree cemeteries where... You're in the tree? Your body is giving the nutrients in the soil that feed the tree to grow. Whoa. Kind of... I love that.

Kind of beautiful. I think it's beautiful. So you're, yeah. Decomposes, but you're feeding a walnut tree or I'd pick an avocado tree. Obvi. Caliente. A little Spanish moment. But, yeah, you could feed a tree.

I want to know what tree you guys would pick. Okay. I would probably pick a Douglas fir. Oh, Merry freaking Christmas. Yeah, because it feels like home. Yeah. And it was really the first tree name that came to mind. Douglas fir.

Yeah, I was going to say an evergreen. or palm tree. Because everything's like Christmas and like winter and snow, like buffalo or maybe like a lemon tree. Why? I don't know. Oh, delicious. Yeah, Meyer lemons. But think about like the idea of, if you take away just religion, the idea of like decomposing in a box six feet underground is like, ugh, or the idea of like being cremated ever since I saw Ozark and I usually actually like can see how they cremate people.

I'm like, oh, that messes me up. Either one. I don't know what. I mean. I want to be a tree. Same. Yeah. What tree would you be?

I definitely am going to go either avocado or I'd like to be like a plumaria, plumria tree. What's that? Oh, they're all over Hawaii. They smell incredible. Oh, it's that smell. When you land in Hawaii and you smell it. Yeah, they make lays out of the flowers. Oh, I love that.

And they're pretty, like the stems kind of look like they're like thick like cigars anyway. But you can take like a little clip of a plumaria tree, like a little piece of it, and grow a tree like that they grow pretty easily all right let's take a quick break staying healthy and doing the right things for ourselves is always important especially these days but we deserve to know what we're putting in our bodies and it shouldn't be a mystery additive and shady extras that's why rituals founder cat is on a mission to reinvent the vitamin industry now not only have they obsessively researched each nutrient in their visionary women's multivitamin carefully choosing forms that are absorbable by the body but they have also tested

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today. That's 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com slash fine. We'll be right back with more off the vine. Grape therapy. Hey, you guys. It's Sophia and Sistine Stallone. And we are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast unwax. And I go, Sophia, look who I matched with. And she goes, are you fucking kidding me. I just went on a date with him. I was like, do I block him? So join us each week as we discuss adulting. What's that? Single life. Tragic. And of course, give you our unsolicited advice while bringing on exciting guests to join the chaos. You need to do what you need to do to get through the breakup. So whatever is the evening. We're sending you a Snapchat message.

So be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Podcasts One.com and join us every Tuesday to listen to the best content the internet has to offer you're listening to off the vine race therapy anyways wow i learned something new today is that wow and carol baskin's guilty those are uh-huh and we're going to a cemetery no no i said no she's innocent i don't know i don't want to say it on the podcast because because what if we become friends yeah well then she can prove her innocence to you let's get around the podcast oh okay I'm not asking her if she killed her husband. I will.

Okay. No, no, no, I will, I'll slightly. She's not going to tell you. No, no, no, we're going to have a really deep conversation. This is like one of my things I want from this whole day. You think that she's just going to open up to you and tell you about murdering her husband. No, I think we can back into it, really ask you like, how does it feel that people, like, love you?

Use you of that. Like, how do you prove your innocence? What do you see? say you know there's things we could do I love how we got quiet wow so intense I don't think she's going to be down for that no I don't think she will have no way

we'll try we'll try see what happens what else do we feel about the cast this season it's a freaking good one yeah it's a great cast great cast all over the place Johnny freaking weir is going to be so good oh Johnny weir's on it Johnny weir's on oh he's awesome he's so awesome

he's totally going to do well AJ from the backstreet boys I've seen those hips he's going to do well I've gone to like three backstreet boys concerts she looked up with him yeah that's for a confession when you're not around just kidding I just kidding I would love to see which backstreet boy if you had to choose in their prime who was your guy oh wait was Brian the one with the blonde hair that was Nick Brian was like he was the silent thunder he was the underdog he was like that nobody really thought he was going to be the popular one and then he like

was so sexy yeah what who'd yours be AJ oh the but you like the bad boy I do yeah who'd yours be Jason yeah what backstreet boy would you love to

he doesn't know who the backstreet boys are I know what the backstreet boys I just forgot who to hang on I'm gonna look him up and then oh actually and I'm not into blonde guys but Nick Carter yeah he was everything I mean he was the Justin Timberlake

yeah he was yeah what about this I like this guy Who are you taken? Kevin. Oh, yeah. He picked Kevin. He's be gentle in the sack with you.

You know what? Kevin has turned out to be quite handsome these days. He is handsome. Let me see what. You would pick Kevin. Yeah. What do you mean? You don't think that guy's handsome?

Because you kind of look like him. What? You kind of look like Kevin from BSB. I can't. What the shit? Oh, he's very handsome. He's by fun. Do you want to know something funny?

I won a radio. contest with Brie and we went for lunch with Howie from the backstreet boys. Which way is that Howie? Where did you guys go to lunch? We're a sleeper. Oh, great guy. We went to the Four Seasons restaurant. So funny.

Anyways, what about this one? Yeah. If you woke up every day to a bathtub filled with any object, what object would you choose? I would probably choose Golden Retrievers. Oh, okay. Wait, a bathtub filled with any objects? Yes. For like,

Like noodles? No, yeah, like noodles or cherries. Shit, noodles or cherries? Wow. Like, imagine a bathtub full of cherries. Like.

What kind of cherries? Like Maraschino? Yeah, like Maraschino, a little juice, you know? That's weird, man. Golden Retrievers. No, no, no. Think like an object that's comfortable. Oh, pillows.

Pillows. Pillows. No. That's what you're going to get, You're going to get the point. You're going to get your baths if you can put anything in it, anything you want in it. Wine. Okay, wine.

Wine, you can't drink it. Why not? That's true. She thought you on the checkmate. You're washing your body with it. You want wine you wash your body with it? You want cherries? A stain.

It's like a little massager. That's f***ing. Mine would be maple syrup. Oh, sticky. Ew. into it or a chia pudding. Oh, chia pudding.

Or, oh, you know what? I'd want... Jello! Boba. I'd want a bathtub filled with Boba. What's that?

What's Boba? What the hell? You guys have never had freaking boba? What's Boba? Okay, so it's like a type of little tapioca ball, if you will,

and they're in the bottom of a cup. And it's, like, big in a lot of, like, Asian... Like, okay, you say... drinks have, like Asian tea houses. Oh, yeah, bubble tea. Okay, that's exactly what I'm. And you put the thick straw and you suck them up and just get a load of boba in your mouth. Okay, that's a good one.

But they feel really good. Okay. Texture-wise, it'd be kind of nice to lay in a bath of boba. Okay. If you could have any one skill with a snap of the finger, what skill would you want? I wonder if it could be like a magical thing. I'd love to predict the future. Oh, wow.

I would not. That would give me so much. Oh, anxiety city. Think about how the impact you could have. Like, imagine who would believe you, though? Yeah, no one would believe you. After your history, you build credibility by showing you're all about leaving a legacy. Yeah, we get it.

You're leaving a stamp on this world. I know, but it, okay, that's your, you know what? We can't fault him for his opinion. I'm not going to shit on that. That is a great idea. And, okay. Predicting this forever. Yeah, what is your legacy?

I don't know. I don't know. We'll find that. You don't know what your legacy is? If I died right now, I would know my legacy. Yeah, I don't know. We'll talk about this on the next. Okay.

Too deep? Too deep for this one? A little too heavy for a hungover Saturday. I think we talked about it. If you wanted to be cremated or buried. Is this your first podcast? You can't eat on a podcast. I feel like we're just hanging out.

Okay. I don't know that you're chewing stuff right now. What would your? My skill would probably be that I could be the best host of any podcast. Like, I would be the best host. Mission accomplished. No. You're a great host.

I would want to win the mirror ball. Okay, skill set. I would want to be able to snap my fingers and know how to make millions of dollars. Okay. I would like to be just the best

I don't know skill set I want to be the best seller of wine the best I would want to cure cancer there it is that's a good one that's the skill set I would define the cure for cancer

okay I would want in something okay I would want to cure cancer that's what I would want to be a leading plastic surgeon And then can you be my best friend? Yes. And, and fix my weird pinky toe? Mm-hmm.

I'll fix it. Mold it right into place. Do you even know me? Okay, what would your skill set be? Plastic surgery. Oh, yeah, you just said that. Wow. I think I would, I've been to take my back.

I think to be a professional, like the best golfer in the world would be the coolest thing ever. Oh, that's awesome. That's the way to change the world and live your legacy. No, that's true. Well, I think a fun one and a real one. What about, like, think about being a surgeon. Think about you go to bed every night knowing if I didn't go to work, people could potentially not be living right now.

I just saved 10 people's lives today. Oh, I was thinking more on like the cosmetic surgery side. So I'd be getting like, yeah. If I wasn't going to live tomorrow, like that person wouldn't get their facelift or a breast augmentation or. Rhinoplasty I love that show botched They help people They do help a lot of people

So that's oh my god That show is so intense Someone comes in And they have like the craziest things down to them I know Sometimes it's so sad too Okay last one If you could be reborn as any animal

What animal are you being 100% Pino Orca An orca whale I wouldn't want to be anything else Oh the deep dark waters scare me

God, I have to think of reasons why I wouldn't at this point because there's so many reasons why I'm obsessed with being. Okay, first of all, they're the number one predator in the ocean. So, like, I could top of the food chain. I could eat a shark if I wanted to. Fair. Very intelligent creatures. They live long lives if they're not at sea world. And I just think that they're like, besides intelligent, majestic and dominating the ocean, it'd be the coolest thing to be a freaking orca with my paw.

they're loyal to their family. Same Zies. I relate to Orcas. I love them. I'm here with my little pod right now. Swimming around in L.A. So I'd just like to continue doing that in whale form. Okay.

I'm just obsessed with whales in general. But Orca's just really do it for me. I got, okay, well, when I went to SeaWorld. Oh, shame. I know. Shame on me. Shame on you. As a kid, that was my one of my dream jobs was to, I really wanted to be a whale trainer.

at SeaWorld. Gosh, how good is the movie? Free Willy. Free Willy. Oh, makes me cry every time. And Michael Jackson's amazing hit song. Oh, yeah. The Free Willy soundtrack is... But they told me. I'm made to be faithful. How? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Get him out. Wow. That was really good. Oh, thank you. Should you moonwalk? No, that's not podcast material because they can't see me. I can't moonwalk. So I've said

it before. There's more to explore at the Home Depot, from furniture and home decor to bedding and more. Home Depot.com has endless options for every space. And in fact, they are sponsoring a really fun segment on Off the Vine where I personally get to share some of my decorating expertise. So let's dive in. Let's start by talking about tools for a second. Now, I'm not talking about the guys who ghost you on dating apps. Those are a different kind of tool. I'm talking about those things you use around your house to fix things. I used to be pretty intimidated, to be honest, when it came to using those, but now I feel like I'm kind of gaining some serious new skills thanks to the Home Depot and their website, which has

showed me what tools I need for each project and how to get those projects done. They even have hardware and tool guides, almost a hundred different guides, that show you how to use tools properly and the best ones to get the job done. And I know I talked about this before in their DIY category, but they even tell you the difficulty level of using those tools and doing these projects so that you can know what you're getting yourself into before you bite off more than you can chew. Like there's a project guide on how to use a table saw. Difficulty beginner. How badass do you feel.

And time is under two hours. Sounds like something that this guy right here can manage. On the other hand, I see that cutting granite tile is intermediate. And you know what? I think that's something I'm going to have to call the experts in for. But not only does their website have the stuff that is just classic at Home Depot, like tools, hardware, appliances, but you know I've been checking out their home decor section, and that's something at the top of my mind for me at the moment.

Spooky season, guys, that's right. As weird as it seems, this year has gone by extremely quickly, and it's almost time for fall and Halloween. And of course, they have some of that amazing decor. I know you're going to want to check out like a 12-foot skeleton, a creepy jack in the box, and some graveyard decorations, but something so cute I've discovered. is their Halloween ideas and project section, which is something so fun to do with your kids,

your nieces, nephews, whatever, or just on your own if you love Halloween as much as I do and do it by yourself. They have tutorials on how to make Halloween candy holders, some haunted house ideas, the best spooky table, centerpieces, and how to carve a pumpkin and make a scarecrow. All right there for you,

conveniently on the Home Depot site. Love it. I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but they also have these types of project ideas and guides for Thanksgiving and Christmas so you know I'm going to have to revisit the site when holiday seasons roll around. With the Home Depot, decorating your home is now easier than ever before. Start by heading to Home Depot.com where you can shop everything for every room, browse thousands of furniture pieces and decorative accents to fit any style. Explore bedding

and bath linens, kitchenware, and small appliances all at the right prices. Whether you're going for a brand new look, little seasonal refresh, or simply a few finishing touches, the Home Depot has all the pieces you need. And the best part is, you shop today and you'll get free and flexible delivery with easy returns. Plus, for a limited time, you can save even more on the styles you love when you use code off the vine 10 at checkout. Find exactly what you're looking for and more at home depot.com slash decor. Valid on select items online only, free delivery on select items, $45 or more. Visit home depot.com for more information.

You know what, Animal I would be? a rescue dog because you like go through your humble beginnings and you like and then you just feel so much love do you feel like a rescue dog no

who rescued me I rescued myself yeah because you had a crazy story I don't know no no that's just life that's like what animal would you be

I think I've always said I'd be a lion but I think I'm going to change it up and I think I'd be basic dolphin dolphins are the only other mammal on the planet that have sex for pleasure oh I didn't know that that's cool they're psychos they're a little undercover psychos don't trust them is coming from not trust them the internet what do you mean

they're psychos they seem like the happiest nicest little creatures let me see dolphin um okay look let's look at dolphin spirit animal what does it mean about you? We're going to find out what that means about you that you want to be a dolphin. Oh, just giving a little reference for the listeners. Oh, my God. While you look that up. When the beat kicks in.

Oh. Oh, my gosh, you are a dolphin. Don't read it yet. Okay. The dolphin is a complex animal that has so many different meanings attached to it through history, including peace and harmony, protection, playfulness, and joy, resurrection, inner strength, cooperation. See?

I'm looking at a dolphin right now. I have all those characters. Spirit animal. It symbolizes family, romance, longevity, harmony, travel, community, and protection. And protection of the members of their pod. I love that. Okay. I'm going to put...

Nailed it. Dog spirit animal. Okay. Instability. Guidance. Instability. A lot of emotions. Range of emotions.

Guidance, protection, loyalty, fidelity, faithfulness, alertness, and love. Domesticated. Aw. Often painted sitting. and on a lady's lap. Interesting. Sounds about right.

Wait, can you put, can you put penguin? Do you love penguins? I do love penguins too. Aren't the male penguins, the ones who carry the egg for March of the penguins? He goes forever. Forever they do.

Look at you, Daddy. For at the. Okay. This is what it says about, there's a lot. Adaptability. Confidence. Discival. discipline, dreams, emotions, etiquette, endurance, fatherhood.

See, I would be a penguin. And then you just get to scoot on your stomach. Purpose? You get to scoot on his stomach. That's what he wants. You know what? Then you get to scoot on your stomach. Would that be fun though?

Just be on the ice. While Morgan Freeman narrates your life. A little happy feet over here. Wow. Okay. Well, you know what? Look at the last one is. Yin and Yang.

That's us. like drink beer too. Okay, you know what? The podcast is getting weird now. You know what? Nothing else we've talked about got weird until you said penguins slipping on their tummies and that they drink beer. That just made my freaking cremation chili.

Yeah. Look like nothing. Oh, I can never eat chili again. Okay, well, I feel like that's, I mean, Jason just maybe want to stop a podcast. He's eating freaking grapes over. here talking about penguins drinking beer like low here present present it's for anything else you wanted to talk about before we wrap this you know i just want to say that i love that you guys are here in l.A and getting to hang out with you guys last night have a little edible have a little sush

it was the cutest night and it was a cute night i loved it i loved every moment of it so especially right now during these like really crazy weird times it's nice to have a a little sense of like normalcy again. Yeah. I'm just going to... Slumber party. Yeah. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to like put you on the spot. Like what, Lo, do you have anything to say about how great of a time you've had? Jason, anything you want to wrap up with?

You know what, Lo? It has been, I can't believe it's been almost a year since we saw you. And every time we're with you, we're always smiling ear to year. Wow. It's a beautiful thing. You're a great friend. We are a little pod. I have... Oh, my single tear. Oh, my God. They are a little pot. Jason sometimes just has any, if you could be here right now, listeners,

because he has these soulful eyes. Yeah, he does. And he just, his little kind eyes. Kind eyes is what Jason has. You could be the biggest predator, and I would trust you with those eyes. You're not, though. He's not a predator at all. He's a really sweet man.

He has his moments. This week, what? Predatory moments. You just spit out coffee. All right. You're done. You are excused from the table. Love Jason.

You're excused from the table and the pod. Hey, look, we're like a little orca of the pod on a pod. This is cute. You know what? All right. I'm good with that. I'm good leaving it there. I love you both.

Very much. I love you guys too. And your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine. Rape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com,

the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?