Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Jason & Kaitlyn Talk Highs, Lows, and Everything in Between

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

It’s been a minute since we had the duo that is KB and JT on the pod, and today they’re sharing with the Vinos their highs, lows, and Buffalos (don’t worry, we’ll explain) from 2022 and their hopes for the year ahead. As usual, they’re not holding back as they talk about everything from misophonia support groups (IYKYK) and their latest content recommendations to struggles from 2022 and Kaitlyn’s upcoming application to be Megan Fox’s girlfriend/doppelganger. Plus, they’re both sharing the therapy techniques they’ve tried or are looking forward to exploring in order to continue to grow through 2023, from storyboarding to journaling to Kaitlyn’s upcoming retreat. This year may be off to a pretty weird start, but it’s only up from here.   Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: PELOTON - Explore Peloton Row and their financing options at onepeloton.com/row.  TALKSPACE - To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com, and use the code VINE to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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to get $100 off your first month and show support for the show. It's time for Off the Vine Grape Therapy. Welcome to your weekly session. Caitlin and friends are here to share unfiltered advice, lots of laughs, and some major breakthroughs. So put your feet up, pop a cork, and get ready for some grape therapy. I hit record right when you took a sip of... Oh, are we recording? I started recording, though, right?

When you took a sip of your bubbly water, it was like... It's usually not bubbly water. You know what? One of my friends today... went to her therapy appointment. Yeah. And they spent a full hour talking about misophonia and how it like destroys relationships sometimes because it's so. Really?

There's some. Now, I need to go back and listen to it because she was talking about how there's some pathway where, I'm not going to explain this right, but something to do with your emotions, how sounds can trigger your emotions. And it's like such a real thing for people. But the people who don't have it always think the other person's just crazy. Yeah. Do you think I'm crazy? So I've developed it a little bit since I've... Don't blame me for that.

No, I never know. Since I've like, you've made me more cognizant of it. Like if I'm with like Evan and like before I wouldn't have been aware of like, I don't know, maybe it's chewing and I'll be like, dude, like stop. So I think I'm more aware of it now. No, bless Evan, but he chews quite loudly. He's working on it. But I'll also say, I also think it's interesting how like so I know like this the snoring.

I think there's something deeper. just the noise because like the snoring and the noises from me like would trigger you but the snoring and the noises from pina wouldn't oh well that's because he's an innocent little dog a baby too a baby snoring would not bother me it's not you if if my dad who is my hero was snoring it would bug me it's not just you so you think in the in like for you it's not a deeper it's not like a resentment thing with you it's not deeper like that it's deeper maybe in the sense that it's like an emotional so you think two humans that have, like, the exact, that are making the exact same noise are going to irritate you

at the same level? No. I don't know if that's the case. No, it won't irritate me at the same level. Like, for example, when we were younger, my sister chewing cereal at the breakfast table would send me over the edge. But if my friend was over having cereal, I would be aware of the noises that it made, but it wouldn't send me over the edge.

And why is that? I don't know. That's what's interesting. Yeah. But that's everybody who has misophonia. But I didn't know about it until I met you. And yeah, it's definitely a real thing. Brie has it too, right?

Yeah. Yeah. That's who I was talking about. Oh, really? I don't think she'd care of that. I say she goes therapy. She's a big advocate for therapy. So how common is that?

Is it like a very common thing? Hey, Siri. How common is misophonia? Okay. I found this on the web for how common is misophonia. Check it out. Check it out. I will.

Don, no, no. Misophonia. Okay, let's see. Oh, my gosh. People who experienced misophonia have formed online support groups. I should join one. Wait, there's a documentary about the condition called Quiet Please. Oh, I know what I'm watching tonight. Where can you stream it? Anyone out there, go watch Blackbird immediately.

Oh, my God. Yeah, but only you have to, you have to preface it by saying it's really dark and twisted and like maybe watch. watch a trailer first or I don't know, I feel like it should definitely come with a trigger warning. Yeah, that's fair. But it is a dark drama. It's a dark, but it's a really well done show.

The acting is just incredible in it. Right. And there's also a material, insane, disgusting villain and an unbelievable hero. Like almost like good nurse vibes. Good, what's good nurse? You've never seen good nurse?

Nah. Do you know the story? No. So there's this. guy who is essentially a serial killer. Yeah. But he's a nurse. Yeah.

And he goes hospital to hospital, intentionally killing people based on what he puts insulin into the IV bags. And then what happens, this is what the craziest part is, the institutions, they'll know he's doing it. But the hospitals will find another reason to fire him so there's not liability and so it doesn't get out. So like in the movie, the hospitals know he's doing it? Yes.

But they're covering up the liability because the lawsuit. that would be in place. So they'll do things like, oh, on your application, you lied about the year that you attended this school. So we unfortunately have to fire you. And then he'd get let go. But he would go to hospital, hospital, and keep doing it until the good nurse came in and ended that. And it's crazy.

It's absolutely nausea. Less the good nurse. Yeah. Yeah, I have heard of that. But it's a series? It's, yeah. It's like a, there's like more than one episode. Can we talk about the fact that you have not watched White Lotus?

White Lotus or Yellowstone. Have you heard? Have you heard of the ending of White Lotus or the anything? Like, have you seen spoilers anywhere? No. You need to watch it. It's so, you would love it. All right, I'll get into that.

Yeah. Now that I'm done with Blackbird, I'll get into it. I still have to watch the ending of Blackbird. But so it's January 3rd. When this comes out, I believe it'll be January 1st. What? I believe it'll be January 5th. Oh, boy. There she is.

Have you noticed that I've been wildly low and weird the last few days? What is January haunts me. I've talked to a lot of people that have had a tough start to January. I'll say that much. I feel like it's been a really tough start for a lot of people. Last night, too, watching that, I'm still, still distraught from that. And we still don't know. This is now, we're almost approaching the 24-hour mark from where the Buffalo Bills player.

DeMar Hamlin. Demar Hamlin, yeah. It was number three for the Buffalo Bills was hit in such a, it was just a weird scenario. and he had like cardiac arrest on the field. I hate that we like I hate that it would you had to see it like you watched him collapse and it just was it oh my gosh I've just felt sick to my stomach I still feel sick to my stomach and it's like obviously you know when bad things happen it's always like perspective but still that does not that is not helping with the depression and heaviness

I feel like people are feeling in this first week of January. That was just like another where you're like, my gosh, like how many times? You said this earlier. How many times do we have to be reminded that life is fragile? Yeah, that's all I've been thinking about today. It's just like, just like this. Like all I'm doing is counting down the hours to watch this game for entertainment. And here's this guy, is a sixth round draft pick.

He was drafted in 2021. His mom is at the game. This is the biggest game of his NFL career that he's playing at. There's video of him saying hi to his mom before. and his family are there. And he seems like just like what they were saying is he's more than an athlete, what he does for his community and giving back and for kids. Like he goes out of his way to do more than just play football.

Yeah. And so it was just like so what happened is if you're watching it, he gets up and he's up and he's pulling his mouth guard out. And then he instantly passes out. And he's out. He's like, and I've never seen it before ever, where of course players are concerned and they need,

but within minutes, all the players were. bawling their eyes out because he was out and they know that they've in all their career and they know football they're like no he's not responding he's essentially dead on the you know he's he's not breathing and his heart's not beating and so i talked to my buddy who is a um a paul sapia he's a heart surgeon in new york city and he said just based on the mechanical treatment that he saw the mechanism of injury is that it's likely commodio cordis. So what that is is it's when you have severe impact or trauma to your heart. It's most common in like lacrosse or baseball or hockey, right? Small object

flying at a high speed and it hits your heart. But here's what's so crazy about it. It has to hit your heart with a force at the exact split second. It's in recovery. So if it hits your heart at that moment in your heart's not in recovery it won't happen but because it's in recovery what do you mean in recovery like when it's when it's you know how your heart beats done now it's like at the bottom of it and then it goes done done so then it's in recovery at that moment that impact triggers um cardiac arrest i am surprised this has not happened more often or is that why because it's just so well the thing i think what's unusual is like again in baseball and in the cross and in some of these other sports you have to wear these heart guards because you have

such a small object with such like moving at such significant speed that I don't know I don't think it happens I don't know if it's ever happened in football I just don't know the background of it I have no idea but it's it's terrifying and all we it's still 24 hours later and all we know is that he is um we know that he's in ICU and that's it right we know that he is a pulse but we don't know the severity of like what happened to his organs during that process like what's going on you don't want to speculate you just want to pray and hope and it's what's been amazing is when you see the support and the humanity of of everyone other than like one asshole reporter on ESPN stop yeah he was like pissed that the game didn't go on are you kidding but other than that the humanity of the fans

that were so respectful like you think about like what could happen in scenario like that especially a drunk fan every this the fans of cincinnati the community of cincinnati the whole country is like really pulled together to support his family and everyone going through this and it's it's hard-wrenching it's it really is heart-wrenching it's and buffalo's been through so much this year you were saying that earlier they just yeah just the terrible snowstorm 30 plus people died just stranded like they had this shooting this summer from uh disgusting terrorists i mean it's just been It's been a lot. It's sad.

My mom called me crying last night about it. I know. It is just, well, I mean, it's just something you don't ever want to see. It's terrifying. But then it's like, like, that's, you realize in that moment when they even thought about going on with the game, you're like, oh, my God, it's just a fucking game. I was yelling at the TV. I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? What are we doing?

You were sleeping at the time. But I'm just like, this is a joke. Because they were taking about, they were saying they're going to take a five minute break and go. play. I'm like, you just saw one of the guys die potentially. Yeah. Like he's out. You're giving full CPR because he's not breathing and you're going to go play full. Come on. God. I took him. It took him an hour to cancel the game. That's crazy.

What are we waiting for? There's a guy you don't know if he's alive. It's a game. It's a game and this is somebody's life. Yeah, well, I just did a whole podcast about breathing. If you'd like me to teach you some exercises. I would love that actually. I mean, you can do it another time, but I'm here for that. Imagine I just take this podcast into 45 minutes of breathwork. Hey, it might be beneficial.

There we go. Well, hopefully by the time this podcast comes out, we have some better news. There we go. Fingers crossed. Yeah. Prayers and thoughts sent. Yeah. Also, have you heard of, it's called, have you heard of high, low, buffalo?

No. So apparently it's for kids, but you know what? Age is just a number. Okay. Basically, you share your high of the day, your low of the day, and your buffalo, which is just a random thing that happened. So something that made you laugh, something that you want to share, et cetera. So I thought we would start off with a little high-low buffalo from 2022. In general, maybe the holidays, the past couple weeks, whatever.

2020. No, I know. I'm saying the high and low from 2022. Oh, I thought we were doing our day today. We can't do the highs and lows and the buffaloes of 2023. We're only in day three. Oh, I thought you'd do it for the day, though. Like, you go around to your high low of today.

Today would be so boring. Oh, okay. Gotcha. My high of today would be getting my ass off the couch for once because I'm, for some reason, January. But I did see this, there's this guy on Instagram that I'm obsessed with following, and he does monthly horoscopes. And he does your horro, and he did one for Gemini.

And he was even saying, like, this week. week or this month is going to be like really like heavy and getting in touch with your emotions and then February is going to come and you're just going to be so empowered and I was like this is so spot on because I already feel so heavy I already feel so like there's a big shift coming in my life and then I'm doing this workshop where I'm gone for a week and no phone no TV no computer no work it's just inner child work and like really focusing on mental health and I'm going to come out of it and do empowered woman. I love that

I know I'm really I'm telling you 2023 is I'm just going to be this maybe I'll even go into like a spiritual guide workshop where I can help other people

wow I think you could lead that I don't I didn't say I don't I meant I know but I also was going to say I'm going to and then it all jumbled like gruel have you seen mean girls all I could why for some reason I can't get that's out of my head I imagine if low here he'd be like yeah like cult leader bristow takes over

I'm going to start a healthy cult Where it's just about like getting to know yourself and feeling empowered Because I feel like I've always been like that I've always just wanted to like make people feel empowered to be themselves Or like really just be their authentic self true to who they are Would you ever want to be a therapist? I feel like I would take on everybody's emotions and I wouldn't sleep at night I am obsessed with wanting to know the behind the scenes of the therapist

Like what are they thinking what are they saying like what is what I just did that I'm good like tell me what that means like I'm dying to know all that stuff I think it's so fascinating yeah so any like high that stands out for you from this year from 2022 like a high that you're like wow that was the highlight of my 22 the first thing that comes to my brain is just like experiences like I think I got really exciting experiences with with you what's the highest experience just It's a high. I want to rattle off like 10, except, but you go first.

You go first. Well, mine, I'm just thinking, like, I got to go on tour with dancing with the stars. Like, that to me was such a high because that's something that I dreamt of my whole life was, like, being a touring dancer. And at 37 years old, being able to do that was wild. And it was definitely a high for me. A lot of other highs, but that, like, stands out to me. Yeah, I mean, a high for me, I remember, like, going to watch you was awesome. that was so much fun um i'm looking i got to go do an event a big charity event back in rochester we got to do

i remember another high was like it's these experience something about like when we would went skiing together for the first time yeah skiing was definitely a high we did i was a bunch of traveling i was in york a lot i could think of a lot of highs of people i got to meet in interviews i got to do some cool stuff with my my parents and i spent a lot of like family time just like these when i'm thinking i could just rattle off these like the yankees game with my dad on father's day like all these like experiences that were just such a high. The I heart with my mom in Vegas. Like when we got,

we did the Mets with your family. Like when we were in New York City. New York was definitely a high. Yeah. So it's funny because you said, one of these highs and I couldn't control my brain because it was just these flashbacks of these memories. I know when I was doing the end with that,

the 22, 2020 season comes to an end. And I'm thinking because obviously people aren't going to do their low reel of like the lows. It's everybody's highlights. It's all your highs. Bill's game and we're off. That was, it's all the pretty stuff.

That's all the experiences. Yeah, which I liked seeing. Usually the highlight reels, I'm like, okay, but those were like, no, people, I want people to be showing their high highs from the last couple years because everyone's gone through some shit, man. Yeah. Like my caption was, besides the world falling apart and everything being scary, 2020 was still great. So I feel like you're right. The highs were like the experiences and a lot of like family time and the skiing really was a high going. The skiing was such high.

It's also interesting, I was journaling about this as I was looking at 2023. The highs that you would think would be the accomplishments, like possibly, like, I think about, like, the book and, you know, maybe some, like, business success. Those are never the highs, which is interesting. Like, when you look at your, when you look at your end of a year, the highs are always, like, family and friend time. I don't think those are the highs. Sometimes they are for me. Like, an accomplishment can be a high for me. like a touring Dancer with the Stars is an accomplishment.

And that was definitely a high for me, but it was also a childhood dream. I think that's more of an experience. But didn't we just say that experiences were the high? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't think it's the accomplishment of being selected to be on it. But I would say that winning the mirror ball was definitely a high of 2020. Oh, that's true.

And that was definitely accomplishment. That's for sure. That's for sure. Okay. That's a good point. Okay. The highs and lows of technology. One thing I love about technology is that,

when it comes to therapy and psychiatry, getting the help that you need has never been more accessible and affordable. You can get mental health care with or without insurance with Talkspace. So when you're able to access your provider from the comfort of your device, it means mental health care can be on your schedule. And skipping, you know, those wait times to get an appointment or the travel time to an office can really free up some time for the rest of your life. And something I love about it, it's so flexible and it really helps me completely feel supported around the clock. Talkspace lets you send messages to your dedicated therapist in the Talk Space platform, which allows you to update them on whatever you're facing in real time. So you don't

have to, you know, like wait for your next session. It's just so convenient. And with Talk Space, you can set goals with your therapist. They'll hold you accountable. Make sure you're really progressing. Therapy can help you shift your perspective and find tools to cope in difficult times. It's secure, private, so convenient when you need it the most. And as a listener of this podcast, we're going to give you $100 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code Vine. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com, use code Vine to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's Vine and Talkspace.com. What about lows from this year?

My low was when Grandpa Lenny died. Yeah. Well, it was when, it was really when the last time I put, he went to hospice before that when I saw him for the last time at his house. Yeah. That was, I walked in. I didn't, I knew it wasn't good. But then, like, when my grandmother was just like, it's probably the last time you're going to talk to him. Oh, gosh, that just kicks you right in the stomach and the heart.

And he was, I mean, I only knew him for a short period of time and he was a legend. The best. Yeah, you really was. That's, yeah. I don't know why I want to bring up lows, but I feel like it's just something to talk about, highs and lows and getting through the lows make... What else? What other lows?

What happened to me? I feel like I remember being crippled with depression in bed at some point this year. You know what I will say, actually, about this year, which I don't like. I've been really struggling with my body again. And I wonder where that stems from. I feel like I go into controlling, like, my appearance and my life. looks and my body when I'm like not feeling my best self like mentally so that you think there's something else that's happening and then that's just like a place you go yeah I feel like I'm starting

to do like the brain spotting with therapy and doing this inner child work retreat like I really want to get to the bottom of like I don't know why sometimes my like I struggle with body image or and I feel so guilty talking about it because everyone's like Caitlin you're so tiny are you of this but I still struggle with body image issues and I feel like this year has been bad for me, which usually I pride myself on like, I'm always getting better and I'm always getting stronger and I'm always talking to myself positively and I've worked so hard on this. Or I feel like I've went a bit backwards with body image stuff. Do you see that in me? I think I've heard probably, I would say more over the last like three months you making comments to yourself and I'm like, don't say, you know, I've said,

I'm like, don't ever, don't say that. And you're like beautiful. And I think you've been a little harsh on yourself the last three months, which I mean, that's, and the other thing, too, is I don't know what you're seeing. I don't know where it's coming from. Because you'll say, you know, stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But you'll say as it's like, I just don't see what. But that's the dysmorphia. Of course you don't because it's not. Yeah. It's me. It's my mind playing tricks on me and being hard on myself. I nitpick myself. And I think it's when, you know, maybe I'm like, what is 2023? Like, what more could I do? I've already, there's like deeper things that are, like it's something else that's, that's, that's, that's magnifying something else. And I want to get to the bottom of why I'm being so hard on myself.

Interesting. Yeah. And if you had to pinpoint it on one thing, what would you say is the reason why? I think it's like for the last seven years, I've been go, go, go with opportunity after opportunity. And now I'm like, I've wanted and wished for things to slow down just for me to like for my mental health. And then things slow down and I start telling myself, am I a failure? people not like me anymore. Am I not successful? But I know that's not true. I don't know that's not true. What you've done is amazing. No, I know. You've done like it's unbelievable. You can never work

another day and you've accomplished more than most would dream. But I want to accomplish more important things in life. I love that. So maybe that's the realignment that you need. That is. That's what I'm this and that's what I want 2023 to be about is me feeling aligned with that and not feeling so much pressure to do everything at the top win this do this do this but is that pressure that pressure is all internally yeah yeah so there you go my low is me being hard on myself there you go and i'm working on that i was going to say that's the beauty too is i'm working hard on that i mean i am do you see i brought back out my five minute journal i'm doing gratitude journals every morning i'm trying to like just meditate more get back well i actually meditate a lot uh five minute journal

really booking myself all the therapy doing this retreat like I'm going to Hawaii for three days by myself I'm just like really trying to like get on a path where I'm like what is my purpose and I feel like a big part of my purpose is but do you think you don't know your purpose I feel like most people you know your purpose more than anybody okay I think I because yeah I do know my purpose it's more that I'm like fighting it almost and thinking. All right. Finish this sentence. The one week away of therapy that you're doing plus the Hawaii trip would be perfect in your mind if you come back with clarity of what?

I mean, I know who I am, but I want to know even deeper who I am. And I want to know why I am the way I am. And I want to know, like, I want to be able to share my knowledge of inner child work or awakenings or aha moments. Like, I want to be able to use my voice to help so many people be, like, inspired to get to know themselves. You do that, though. You've done that for seven years.

Okay. What are the top three things? The top three things that you think you want to work on. going into that, that like you want to talk openly about these are the three things I need to work on. Why I'm so critical of myself and the people closest to me, I would like to know why I do that. Even though doing all of this paperwork to go on this retreat, or retreat therapy retreat, I guess it is retreat. I've started to kind of understand a little bit of why I do that. I would like to find my inner light work that I'm supposed to share with others on a deeper level.

because I, yes, I do that, but I want to do it on a deeper level. And I want to. I think there are, there's this, this Caitlin right here. And this Caitlin is beautiful and awesome and laughing and funny. But there are certain things. You said, but. Oh, no, you are all those things. However, or whatever the transition word is, I don't know.

There are certain things. Our therapist taught us to say, and. Oh, and, you're right, you're right. And, good point. that will trigger an immediate outline. There's certain things in people and places that trigger this instant, high emotion, outline Caitlin Bristol.

And I think understanding like those deeper would be really interesting and help. Do you agree with that or no? Yeah, I'm easily triggered by certain people and their behavior. Well, it's people, places, and even things. Isn't that everyone? Yeah, but I would say that the reaction that it causes you is pretty intense.

And that would be, it'd be interesting to just learn more about that, I think. What do you mean my response is intense? Like, I feel like that's called boundaries for me. I think I could work on maybe my delivery of certain things sometimes. But I think I'm definitely very clear on, like, things I don't want to do, things I don't want to be around. say no to things and do you think sometimes in some people in some instances without getting into like specific details that would take over like in examples do you think sometimes that creates a trigger of emotion for you where you get angry and upset and you and you like it and sometimes

it'll be like I don't even know why this is annoying me this much like give me an example well do you do you see that that you do that sometimes with random people with things with with certain people certain instances do you not see that yeah like okay well I'm just saying Angelic, if you're self-reflecting, do you see that you do that sometimes? Yeah. Okay. And I think trying to understand why in those scenarios. Yeah. I think, and I think that's probably something trapped in my brain that I can't even access without the help of professionals, that there's some

reason, and I would love to figure that out. Yeah. I'm sure somebody hurt me at some point in my life that I don't even realize and that it's my way of protecting myself. Yeah. Okay, may I give you one? Absolutely. Do you think maybe you could work on not caring so much about what people think? Yeah, that's one thing that I'm working on. That's one thing I am working on. I love that for us.

Yeah, I'm a people pleaser. Yeah, I get that. But when you people please, like, there's a lot of self-sacrifice that comes with. There's a lot of doing things for others instead of yourself. There's a lot that comes with that that could like really create a lot of, there could create a lot of, it creates vulnerability issues. Like it creates trust issues. So I'm in the weed. I'm working on it.

So those are the two things I'm doing right now is I've been challenged by my therapist to write three pages a day, which is a fucking lot. When I said three pages, I was like, are you kidding? I joked around with her. I'm like,

I get like a little mini book. She's like, no. But three pages. But one of the things I've noticed about for anyone that doesn't journal is that I used to study by rewriting my notes. So I'm much more connected to my thoughts. to my thoughts because it's the it's the same practice I used to study with so I'm thinking deeper

about the things that are making me feel and when I write them down I'm remembering more for good bad and self-work et cetera and then the second thing is I'm doing storyboarding you're in storyboarding I have where you write like you do like a little box of things from your childhood and you draw them out as like even stick figures or like scenarios yeah yeah so I'm such a terrible drawer I'm like writing little like reminders of what they were but those are two things yeah do you find the storyboarding helping actually yeah you know what i actually find it doing now that i'm doing it more it's bringing that it's it's going to be even more helpful like on the next therapy appointment but it's bringing back memories that i locked away well yeah that's the main point of it i think right

and it's like yeah well like i'm like i'm like think i'm 10 boxes in so and she said get 10 to 20 or something like that so but now that i'm 10 in and i'll be thinking about it i i I'm like remembering these things that I totally forgot about. And they're not like, some of them are just like, they're not very substantial, but they're like, oh, wow, that is starting to explain this. You know, this explains why X, Y, and Z and et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, that's, I remember doing storyboarding a few years ago and I took up most of my therapy, like day, I did one of those intensive days and I took.

up most of my therapy day by doing my storywarning. So I was like, and then this happened. And then this happened. But it's not even like all trauma things. Like it's things that just like stand out in my memory of like something that could have shaped who I am. Yeah. Totally. I have a lot of memories though. I don't lock them away. I've got a lot that I like remember vividly. Do you lock any away? No. Well, maybe like two, but they're not locked away. They're more like. It's all protection work. It's all like you're, it's all a protection strategy. If you lock them away, it's trying to protect myself, you know. Yeah.

But no, you don't, you unlock them all. I unlock a lot. I do. I really do. That's part of my healing work. And it's worked. That's what they give you, apparently at this institute that I'm going to, they give you a bat and a pillow.

Let's fucking go. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. It's hours and hours and hours of day, a day of therapy for a week without your phone. I think you should, because I obviously gave you one, and the second one you struggled a little, like thinking about it. I think you should think about like 10 things.

Oh, that's why I was trying to log into my paperwork because I do have like 10 things right now. And no one knows but you. Like, you'll know better than anybody. And I'm sure a lot of those things wouldn't even want to say out here. So that's great. I'm going to have a lot to say on the podcast at when I come back from it. Yeah. Okay, when you've got a lot going on, it can be really hard to find time or motivation for a workout.

I know I've been there a million times before. Peloton has really motivated me to get it in however and whenever I can. You guys already know how I feel about Peloton. It's my fave. So I've had their bike for a while now, take classes on the app. But the Peloton Row brand new to me. I went to their showroom in Nashville. I need to get this row or immediately.

I should have asked for it for Christmas. Maybe I'll just get it myself. Merry Christmas, Caitlin. You guys, I'm serious when I say I actually had fun working out and feel like I got in a brand new type of workout for me, just full body. Peloton is bringing motivation and energy to rowing like never before with a variety of rowing workouts on and off the row and all new world class instructors who will help you get in a great workout while having fun no matter what your experience level is. And rowing is no joke. You can work on 86% of your muscles in only 15 minutes and get all your cardio and strength in one

shot. The technology was really cool when I tried it in the showroom. It helped me get into it the right way and they have this form assist while working out. So it's like a breakdown of what you're doing right and wrong and it'll help give you the proper form and the breakdown is at the end so you can go even harder next time right now is the perfect time to get rowing with peloton row and we can promise you've never rode like this before peloton row offers a variety of classes for all levels and game changing features that will help you get rowing or advance what you already can do explore peloton row and financing options at one peloton.com slash row.

So we did high lows, but now we didn't need to do buff loads. What's the most random thing that happened to this past year? The most random thing when we were in Green Bay. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was so random. It was just a meeting of the year. Today, last year. We had no idea what to expect.

That's true. I met the guy one time at Rider Cup for 15 minutes. Name is Chris. Caitlin backdoor DMed him. I was like, hey, we're going to. going to come he's like yeah i'll take care of we got a hotel room he ends up saying stay with us we have the best time we have no idea what we're getting into drank the best wine it was it was it was green bay was one of the best experience i ever had and it was like by far the most random but it was

unbelievable it really was that was actually ran a buffalo and a high high yeah oh such a packers game in minus 16 oh my god it was so cool but it was so rare everything about it was so random but it's so beautiful. It was amazing. Random, I just saw this in my notes. Did you ever see, do you follow Megan Fox on Instagram? No. She posted a pick on Instagram with the caption, currently seeking a girlfriend, please submit applications in the DMs.

Would you be mad if I applied? Go for it. Okay, good, because I did. I'm just kidding. Did you imagine I send in a full application to be her little side? When she posts that, what is she? I don't know. Is she like, is it like, they were.

want a threesome? Is that what they're saying? Probably. I don't know what she means by that. It's Megan Fox. I feel like she's, and it could mean anything. You look like Megan Fox. She'd be like, wow, you look like me. I don't think she would. She'd be like, oh, why do people keep saying that? Stop it. Okay, I have a quick fill in the blanks for us to play, okay? Okay. One thing I want to try for the first time this year is taekwondo. Can you do that when you were little? I did karate. Oh, okay. Interesting.

Yeah. Okay. What is, I don't know, it was the first thing I came in my mind. That's good. I like that. How about you? I like that. One thing I would like to try for the first time this year is, oh, I told you this,

joining some sort of sports like team or like doing some sort of sports. Like maybe, what sport? Like pickleball. Like joining a team? Yeah. Cool. Okay. I probably shouldn't have blank in 2022.

I probably shouldn't have done mushrooms after Cleo wedding after drinking and eating all day at the end of the night. I would like to do that under like supervision with a clear mind. I probably shouldn't have traveled as much as I did in 2022. A lot of miles I put on that. Yeah, yeah. I really want to blank with you this year. Go to Europe.

Oh, really? Where in Europe? Well, remember, I almost took you to Germany to the Christmas markets. Like last minute. It was like December 18th. I was like, you want to go tomorrow? I really want to go. I really want you to experience the Christmas markets in Germany.

But I really want to go to Europe with you this here. I can't believe we haven't done this. I want to go to a Buffalo Bills game with you. Oh, wow. That is crazy. In Buffalo. I would definitely go. We've never done that.

That is wild, but we haven't done that. My biggest professional goal for 2023 is I want to expand my podcast into like, I love my community so much. I want to like be closer with them than I already am and obviously want spade and sparrows to be available everywhere. But you know, it's really exciting. I looked back. I did in 2020, I did a TikTok that said, all I want for Christmas. And then it was me saying my wine to be in Target. And now I'm like, oh, I did it. So now I wanted to be in Target everywhere and I wanted to be available to everyone. What was that question? Professional goal, 2022. Professional goal, 2022.

23. It would just be, well, one is I know I got to do it, but it's like actually get it done the way you'd want to do it is finish the manuscript for book two. That's going to be done. And then continue to build the agency is like I want to scale it. And we have, I have a goal for what I want it to be like at the end of the year. And then it's like take the pay transparency, money management, career navigation to that like next level. Nice. Okay. The weirdest moment of 2022 probably was. I think the weirdest thing was for you to be gone for three months. That was wild. That was weird. That was a weird thing for me. Like for three months, you're gone. It was crazy. Yeah.

And you almost had to like relearn how to live back together after that. It was a long time. Because yeah, I guess for Dance with the Stars, we still live together. The actual show, not the traveling. Yeah. So it was three months of being apart, yeah. Yeah, that was weird. That's probably a good one for both of us.

Yeah. Okay. Like for you, I'm sure it was weird. weird to live on a bus for three months. Away from the dogs and everything. Oh, that was horrible. One thing I don't want to change in 2023 is. My desire to like wanting to keep growing as a person.

That's what I was thinking of the same thing. My willingness to like just keep learning and growing. Yeah, to grow to the point to be like, someone's like, oh, man, remember the 20s to be like, no, I don't want to be back there because I'm like, I've grown so much since that person. Yeah. I haven't wanted to be in my 20s since I was 30. you know something like oh the year yeah whatever it is like oh last year this year be like 30s i would say this i almost want to be like no like i've i remember like i've grown so much since then it's taken a lot of work

and effort and time and yeah i agree with that and the last is i hope 2023 is filled with blank road trips of my new bronco just kidding well bad but i hope my i was to say off the chart like off the chart happiness yeah i feel like happiness scales kind of went all over the place in 2022 like highs and lows and lefts and rights and just like just my word just keeps for happiness yeah yeah my word just keeps being clarity i just want to feel like clear on everything i'm doing with my days with my time with my life i just want to feel so clear with every intention i have i like it okay well 2023 let's go you excited you're not excited for 2020 are you kidding me i'm saying like the first three days you've been like oh not here for this year

No, I'm not, it's not that I'm not here for this year. I'm just, like, giving myself permission to, like, not be like, New Year, new me, let's go. Like, balls to the ball. You said, like, a lot of your friends feel the same way. Yeah. And when I put it on Instagram, everyone felt the same way. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm less alone. Yeah.

Didn't you say when you put a poll out there, like, everyone felt depressed? And I think that's so true coming off the highs of New Year's Eve and holidays and family and friends. And then, like, you got to, it's also tough to, like, yeah, it happens. Like Saturday night is New Year's Eve. The highest I have in so much fun. Boom, it pivots to Sunday. And then boom, it's like, okay, go have fun. Knock it out of the park.

And like take, I don't even want to take down the Christmas trees. How long you think we'll keep them up? Until I go to therapy. So January 21st. 20 if you leave. There you go. Okay. Well, thanks for potting with me.

Thank you for having me on. I was also scrolling looking for photos. and I just don't want a macaroni and cheese. Now I want some. There you go. Let's go make some mac and cheese. Extra ketchup. I'm Caitlin Bristow.

Your session is now ending. Thanks for joining us for this week's great therapy. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform. And tune in Thursday for your next session.