Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Jillian Harris

Episode Date: August 22, 2019

Kaitlyn sits down for a fun conversation with good friend and former bachelorette Jillian Harris. They’re talking love and answering questions like: Do all couples have the same arguments about cleaning dishes? Are men mostly the defensive ones in the relationship? Plus Jillian just hit one million followers on Instagram and shares her secrets on how to boost your following. Kaitlyn and Jillian talk about past Bachelor cast mates and Jillian dishes on a not so flattering story about Ed Swiderski. And what do you get when you take Jillian, her mom & Oprah on a cruise ship? The most amazing story ever! Pour a glass and listen to this podcast right now! Thanks to our sponsors: Quip= Go to GET QUIP.com/VINE right now, you can get your first refill pack for FREE. Raycon Earbuds= Go to BUYRAYCON.com/VINE to get 15-percent off your order. Honey= Get Honey for FREE at JOINHONEY.com/VINE Spa Finder= visit Spafinder.com/VINE to take 12% off $50+ OR use promo code Vine at checkout. Blue Apron= Get $60 off when you visit BLUEAPRON.com/OFFTHEVINE. TrueCar= A better way to sell or trade-in your car. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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First of all, I want to know why you smell like vinegar and poop. Well, and I did spray some perfume on me, so I might kind of smell like vinegar, perfume, and poop. Oh, great novel. But I was rushing around the house today before I came here because we have company coming again on Thursday. Yeah. And I realized that the mess that was left over from me,

It was birthday two weeks ago, and my grandma's funeral still hadn't really been cleaned up. Yeah, at a funeral and a birthday. Gosh, that's... Highs and lows. Oh, yeah, totally. Really, like, actually, highs. We can talk about that after. Okay.

Anyways, so then I went downstairs and Peaches had shit downstairs again. So then I went to go pick it up, or that I dropped it and then stepped on it. No. So then I was like, oh, shit. Like, I stepped on the shit again. I was like, rom-l-fucker. So then I went to go clean it up, and then now I'm trying to do this whole, like, healthier household thing. Yeah.

So all we have to clean the house with is, like, vinegar now. Yeah. So I cleaned up with vinegar. Okay. And then I was like, oh, I don't have time to shower before the podcast, but I'm like, I don't. So did you just splash some vinegar on your pit? No, I just have vinegar from cleaning it up and then I sprayed some perfume and put some lipstick on in here I am.

Yeah, but you look so cute still. So do you. Still smell me. Well, what's funny is we, you put, you went to help me with my wine and you gave me a handful of ice cubes and you're like, I don't know if that's the hand I picked out my dog shit with. Yeah. And I never washed my hands after.

The alcohol kills all of the back. And you're not a germophobia either. No, I'm not. I never understand that my mom gets so grossed out by me because I'll like, I'll like clean up ramen's poop and then bite my nails. Yeah. I'm not, yeah. And I haven't. You chewed your own toenails once. Yeah, I always chew my own toe. And people think that's so disgusting. I'm like, well, I can, well, it's, I don't know. It's a good. I'm a tab or not how it's called when you're like build up immunity builder. Yes. That's what I was about to say. I never. I've gotten a cold once in the last like 10 years. Yeah. knock on wood and I think it's from chewing my toes. No, it's not. You probably had like echinacea tea that week or something and it made you sick. Maybe. I am that kind of person. Once I start taking care of myself is when I actually get sick.

I know. But how do you even have time to take care of yourself, by the way? Well, I don't. That's why I just never get sick. I'm telling you, people, the key to a good health and a size 26 is left. I don't even eat chicken, but today I found a chicken finger in my back seat. And I was like, this is great. Okay, we were doing a sound check for the podcast.

And Jill goes, I was like, I'll just say what you had for breakfast for a sound check. And she goes, cold coffee and a chicken finger I found in the back seat. I was delicious. I haven't chicken so long. I was like, oh, God, I forgot how good. So chicken doesn't make you sick when you eat it if you don't eat it for a long time? No. And it makes me sick.

Because you don't eat meat really anymore? I don't eat meat in two years. What? Yeah. And I had one night, I was really hammered. And I was like, looking at Jason's hot wings. and I was like, I just want to bite a hot wings. I ended up having two wings.

Yeah. And I got so sick the next day. No, me. Yeah. I think that's good, though, because otherwise I think I can go back. Yeah, but that's my, that's the biggest thing is that I don't eat meat because of the, like, humanity part. But this makes me a huge hypocrite because I actually love me and miss meat. And if I do, like, Tori and Charles, our Charles is like a big, so whoever's listening,

Tori is my cousin and Charles is her husband and they live right down the street for me. And they make us dinner all the time. And they always make me a vegetarian. version but when I go there and they make the most delicious hamburgers if somebody doesn't eat their whole hamburger then I'll just finish it off for them yeah and it doesn't hurt my stomach and it's delicious and I miss meat a lot but I miss it too but you know what I made the decision I'm gonna try to stick with it I know do you follow surrender swan yes I do okay she just did something the other day where they were like taking a stance against um like slaughterhouses and all these

things and a group of them went and laid out at a green light on the ground like on the road and their point was if you know you're not just going to slaughter us laying here and we're beans and then it was outside of the slaughterhouse in Toronto I think did anybody get hurt no but the animals did yeah but it's so funny because like I have a few people on Facebook funny how we just ended up getting into like veganism whatnot but I have these like old fart friends on Facebook that are like my mom's friends from high school and stuff I doubt they're listening to it but maybe their wife is so Sandy and Rob King who are from like northern Alberta yeah um they're

used to own Northern Air, which was like the airline and peace server. And then my uncle Dennis and Andy Georgina, and he's like super like Irish old man like eats pork every day. And we always have like battles on Facebook about like animal agriculture and about like left wing, right wing stuff, which we don't need to get into. But they're always like, well, Uncle Rob, I'm like, it's because, you know, there's more emissions from animal agriculture than there are all the transportation like means combined. He's like, you don't really believe that. Do you? I'm like, well, I do believe that? I'm like, but what would it take for you to believe it? Like, who do you need to hear from? Right. That would make you go, oh, that's true. Do you just believe whatever you want to

believe? Or is there any time that, like, you may hear something that you don't like, and have to go, oh, man, that's true? Like, just some people just go, like, I don't want to hear that. So, I just think it's not true. That's what most people do. Because, like, people say, like, well, that's what cows are meant to do. They're meant to be killed. I'm like, well, they still don't want to be killed, though. That doesn't mean they don't want to be killed. That's like saying women are meant to have babies. Well, of course, but if they don't want to, they don't have to. Or women are meant to, like, clean house. Yeah. You should. I don't want to clean the damn house anymore. Well, that's why you have a house cleaner. That's true. That's true. That's, you know you've

made it when you have, like, a team and a house cleaner. Yeah, I feel pretty lucky. I still clean the house, but yeah, not as hard as she does. Well, you are just like a natural clean as you go type person, aren't you? That's true. Yeah. And as I was saying this morning, I clean up after Justin every morning. Can we get into some nitty gritty? Why can't he just put his freaking cereal box in the garbage it's right there do you think all couples have the exact same arguments i hope so because they do what the hell it sounded like i tooted but it was just my foot on the chair because you said it was just my and then you look down i was like did it come from another play kately just quelled and we're only five minutes into this podcast that would be great i've never done that before i always want i find

it so fascinating when girls could queep i'm like but it was a whole debate on my podcast with um Alexis water she was like bragging about how she can do it on command oh i know some people who can do that what but do you want to no i don't want to be able to no unless you make a little jingle out of it or something that can that be your confession you just make up a jingle i'll work on that for our next podcast okay anyways what were we talking about men men men oh my god okay i just feel like every relationship every couple has the dumbest arguments about like like if you said to Justin, hey, can you clean up your dishes? And then if he says, well, what, like,

why can't you clean up after yourself in the garage? I'm like, but like, if, Kit, why not just say, do my response? Why can't he just say, yeah, hon, I'll really work on that? And then, in a completely separate time when the garage stuff is bothering him, he can say, hey, JL, do you think he can work on your garage stuff? And I will say, yes. Like, when he criticizes something or, like, asks me for like a change, quote,

I did the quote thing. Yeah. Then I'm like, sometimes I'm annoyed in my head. I'm like, yeah, for sure, I can work on that. But like, holy crap, you don't know what I do. do for you but I don't see that I just say like okay yeah hon I'll work on that and then in my mind I got to talk to him on all these other damn things that he does that so I just find like I think about arguments but I feel like I'm the annoying one in the relationship like Jason is so good at

not being defensive oh that's good except for what I told you earlier he was standing in the hot tub with his shorts rolled up and his hair is all poofy from just getting out of bed he had his little glasses on and he made this like a gross like snorting sound from like sniffling and I like looked at him. I was like, oh, you're a real treat right now. And I had rolled out of bed and thought I looked pretty cute. And he goes, oh, look in the mirror. And I'm like, oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you could have just laughed that one off. But ouch. Oh, yeah. No, I think guys are mostly defensive. But Jason's not that defense is typically. No, he's really not. He's really not. I'm usually the defensive one that needs to work on it. I used to be defensive. But now I'm just like,

I know I'm always right. So I just don't argue about it. And you have other things to worry about. How long have you guys been together? We've been together for like. seven years. I think that we're in a really good place, but still, we still argue about the same stupid things. I mean, even if you're in a really good place, you still can have arguments about dishes. Oh, yeah. Totally. But how do you guys find that you work as a team, like as parents? How do you communicate with each other to be that solid team? And how do you be in a good place with so much going on? Okay. Well, that's one thing because I sadly grew up with parents that argued in front of me all the time. God bless my parents. They're the best parents on Earth. And they feel so bad for it.

But they did. I always saw them fighting. I was like, God. you guys pull your shit together so that is one thing and justin's parents never argued so that is one thing even when just and are having um like a really intense conversation that's positive like the other day he was trying to tell me something about like golf or his truck or something he's like and then this happened leo gets really stressed out and he'll be like you guys stop talking like really i'm like leo we're just having a conversation like we're not upset or whatever like he is very sensitive about it so we don't argue with each other in front of the kids really about anything so we really have to bite our tongue yeah so that's great because

Oh, that's probably taught you so much, like, patience. And then once you bite your tongue, you kind of get over it. Get over it. In a certain amount of time anyway. So then you don't, you're like, oh, I'm over it already. Anyways, we don't even have to revisit that. Totally. And that's another thing with kids, too, is you can't disagree with your partner in front of the kids, like, about, like, for example, I was like,

or Justin, can you grab Leo a sweater? And Justin was like, oh, it's really hot out. He doesn't need one. And then I kind of look at him, like, I said to grab a sweater, grab a sweater. So Justin's like, okay, I'll grab a sweater. So you don't, if somebody says something in front of the child, you don't disagree in front of, so that the other kid knows that both parents are respected. So the kid knows, yeah, so we're really trying really hard to do that. And it's hard because sometimes he'll be like, oh, watch it.

And he's going to fall off the bed. And I'm like, I'm right here. Like, don't worry. But you can't like snap back because then the kid can see how you guys treat each other. So maybe I just need to have a kid. It honestly has helped our relationship so much because you really do care about the child's future and their behavior. and what you're exposing to them almost more than the relationship. Right.

You really want to do your best to, like, give them the most positive experience you can. Right. So, like, where normally, you would be, like, fire back or, like, swear. Like, I can't really say the FBomb anymore. Like, we say, like, oh, feel sticks and shoot because. Fiddlesticks. Because Leo walked into the garage the other day and the dogs got into the garbage. And Leo, not me, said, and I quote, for fuck's sake, those fucking dogs.

And he 100% got that for me. So I was like, oh. Leo said that. Leo said that Leo said that Yeah For five I was like

Uh huh That 100% came from me So Justin I'm like okay no more Like we can't Like he don't He remembers everything That is

Yeah I mean And how do you not laugh Oh yeah No and then He'll say Like is fuck a bad word And I'm like yeah

It is bad work But he goes But fudge I'm like not a bad word Oh shoot Like that's a good work And then he goes But fuck

And he says it like that And I'm like Leo No But like the more You react to it The more they want to say it And he's says it in the right context but yeah we've had to like change how we communicate and talk and like

wow yeah it's crazy because people always say don't have a kid to save your relationship but you guys probably didn't need saving is the thing oh we did oh we did we are counselor yeah um sig in calgary in calgary yeah because it's a long story because it was justin's parents marriage counselor for years and they like love him so when just and i were going through that really rough time over that summer you and i were drinking hard oh my god that was so much fun of It was fun, though. We say, Caitlin and I both needed saving and she was going through such a hard time with Sean and the Bachelorette and everything. And I was going a hard time with Justin. We were really just a couple of hot messes together. It was amazing. Yeah, we never ate. We just drank. Yeah, we just drank. Yeah, it was. But anyhow, not, I'm saying that is not a good thing. Well, this was, this was many years ago. Pre babies. Pre babies. But you guys were in that rough spot, but then you got out of it. We got out of it. Even we got out of it because of this counselor. Yeah. And one of the things he found out was that I was that I was. I was. and on birth control and that I wanted to have babies because I was 36. Right.

And he said to me, he's like, I honestly think that you guys should not be having kids anytime soon. Like, I know you're stressed out about this, but your relationship cannot handle a baby right now. And in my head, I was like, I disagree. I think a baby would fix a lot of this. But anyways, we did end up getting pregnant like a few weeks or a few months after that. And I think for us, it really did help because we had a common, like, my career is so intense and it's so fast-paced and it's so, like, high-profile. and Justin was just re-figuring out his career

because he quit snowboarding and he was trying to figure out so we were both just like working so hard in our own departments we didn't really have this common passion and so as soon as we got pregnant all of a sudden that was one thing that we were both bonded by

that we knew we had to work our asses off together and it truly taught us how to work together as a team yeah I honestly think it did fix our relationships well I kind of like that then oh hey guys it's me you know Caitlin here to tell you that everyone needs a great of wireless earbuds. But before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon. These earbuds are honestly the best, an absolute game changer,

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It's Bucknakin. You were already at this event. I came in, and I was, like, getting ready at your place, and you had posters on the wall. Like, what are those, like? like those big three m pieces of poster that you like write notes on in school yeah like neon ones and you had them all over your room but I loved this and I always remember it because I'm a big believer in manifesting and writing things down and seeing it every day yeah but you had written on it like things that you want to work on for yourself things you want to work on the relationship yeah I still have those you do I rolled them up and I put them and everyone small just and I open them

and look and we see how far we've come but I'd like yeah eight of these things and like things that we don't want in a relationship and things we do want. Back then we really struggled with trust and communication. We drank too much alcohol and so that made us fight more. And so now we look at ourselves and it's like, yeah, we bicker about like dishes and whatnot. But we're like an old, married, wonderful couple that goes to bed at 9 o'clock and he mows the lawn and I do the dishes and it's all very, it's like we're in the 1950s, everybody.

It's just wonderful. With a very modern twist of social media businesses and everything you've got going on. Can we talk about everything you have going on? what about everything you have going on well i mean does everybody hears about me every time on this podcast but you have okay first what's the new thing um design line that you're doing oh god which one oh okay so let's figure you might you might be onto something but sometimes i forget oh so i um so i do this thing i've done it once and this the second time i've done with edcy yeah yeah so if people who are listening don't know what edcy is it's basically like a online place where all these

it's like a marketplace yeah so then you have like artists and artisans and small shops that make stuff and build stuff and whatnot and then they sell it online so they have like an Etsy Canada and they have Etsy States and they have like an Etsy Paris and whatever France or whatever so anyways I did this last Christmas and it worked out really well where I basically design what like my ideal like line of items would look like for like a capsule collection yeah and then they find the artists to help build it with me and then we sell it as like a Jillian Harris Etsy collection so for example this summer we had like a candle and a dress and an outdoor pillow and some really beautiful pottery, a scrunchy...

Oh, I don't want to say scrunchy because... No, I want to spread the scrunchy love and the scrunchy gang should be... I talk about Chelsea King's scrunchies. She inspired me. Yeah, she's awesome. So we did all that kind of stuff. And so that is just wrapping up now.

And then I work with Sage a lot, so we just finished doing a diffuser collection. But that's kind of wrapped up. So we're working on seeing if we're going to do something else together. And then just today, Joe Fresh announced that I have an exclusive, It's called the Jilly Jacket. What? Yeah.

And so I'm super excited because it's a down alternative, so it's vegan. Oh, amazing. But there's lots of vegan winter jackets out there, but they're not warm. Right. So this is like a lot of really high-end jackets. I can't name the names, but that, you know, we buy from like really mountainy kind of places, have Prima Loft in it. So it's like a down alternative, which is obviously better for the animals and the

environment, but it's still warm. So it's, that's the jacket and it's pink and it's like a puffer. Super, super cute. Can I have one? Yeah, you're getting one. Okay. Yeah, you're on the list. Okay.

You probably just haven't checked your emails or Cleo did. Oh, yeah. Extra small. It's on the way. So that just launched today. And then, oh my God, there's something else. So the presets, the photo presets. Oh, yeah.

Gosh. It did so good. Kate, well, because your Instagram is, it's always been to me just like, I love following your Instagram because it's always so pretty. We should create you your own custom preset. Okay. And then if people love it, then you can sell it. Okay.

Yeah. See, okay. And then you can just take me out for dinner if it does really well. Okay. We've talked about this before, but your Instagram is so aesthetically pleasing. It's so picture perfect, but your Instagram stories are so real life. And it's like the best combo for an Instagram. Yeah. I absolutely love it.

Oh, you just hit one million followers. Yes. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Okay. That's so exciting. Because that's, I mean, it's a big deal. And you've worked so hard, you know, because I think, you know, with every season of Bachelor, Bachelor,

Bachelor, Bachelorette, social media just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And these people are just blessed with all these followers. I was one of them. And it's just getting... I wasn't. Right. And got me into Instagram like six years after I was on The Bachelor. Which is so crazy because that's what I'm saying.

You've worked so hard to get to a million followers by like... You are a hustler. I couldn't just sleep my way to the top of the good old days. I actually had to make smoothies and take pictures of them and stuff like that. Right. Yeah. Right. Exactly.

And you and you just like... I don't know. I don't think anyone's just like, you told me that you had business cards when you were like 11 and you would like clean people's houses or something. Like you've always just been such a go-getter. And it's just like so cool that when you hit one million, I was like, good for her.

But now my question is, what if people unfollowed and you dropped? Okay. So did you have like a buffer? Yes. I was like, I need to get to like a million three thousand or two thousand before I would announce. But it was crazy because. I was like, okay, I want to do this like really momentous like pitcher.

Yeah, right? Which was incredible. Thank you. But I know. But I was like, okay, what can I do? Because I'm not really doing balloons anymore because they're bad for the environment. Then I thought about doing this thing because they just ended up in landfill. Even the biodegradable ones, wow.

Really? Biodegrade into tiny little pieces of plastic. So there's still plastic everywhere. Wait, that's so good to know. I didn't know that. And now I will be more aware. Yeah. So there's biodegradable balloons and non-biodegradable.

But even the biodegradable ones, everything that says biodegradable, actually. bio-degrades, but into microplastics. It has to actually be compostable for it to actually be cool. You're so knowledgeable. I'm just learning all this right now. But I freaking love balloons so that's been a really hard transition for me. It's a tough time. Oh my God. If anybody

Noah has followed, like for Leo's birthday. Oh, I remember. I was there. Oh, shit. Yeah. So many balloons. So many. So I couldn't do the balloon thing. And then I was like, oh, we'll do a big wall of flowers. It says like one million. But even then you have to buy like 500 flowers. It would have cost like a couple thousand dollars. And then it takes resources to grow the flowers and they all go in the garbage. I'm like, what can I do that's not wasteful. So then I had an idea to just do a Photoshop. Yeah. But so my grandma had

died that week. So everything got pushed back. Yeah. So by the time I got back to work and like help the lady design the thing, I was already at like 1 million 5,000 followers. So I knew unless something really bad happens and 5,000 people unfollow me. Wow. That's like I mean how do. What is your advice for people to grow their social media like that? I think you just have to be real. You know that. Yeah. Yeah. I think You're right. And it's really hard because it's very intimidating for people to put yourself, like, just forget, just like, how about just like a one-on-one friendship? It's hard to be open, let alone to a bunch of people you don't know.

That's true. And then you say, and then you try to be open. People say, like, be yourself and be open, but then you do, but then you say something off color or rude or you offend somebody and then people are bitching at you and yelling at you. So then that's hard on your self-esteem. Or like you open up and say, like, me and my husband had a fight or something. And then now everybody knows about it's just, it's like, where's the line of what to share

and what not to share because you want to be real but you don't want to overshare and you want to have a bit of privacy too and moments to yourself but then are you being real and I know it's something I struggle with all the time but not not not wanting I love sharing my life I don't struggle with that but I always struggle with how much

to share totally yeah I struggle with it after I've shared it and then I'm like shit should I have done that I have shared that I think Justin helps me now because there was a few things I shared back in the past that Justin was like that's not necessary please take that off that you don't have to you don't have to share everything right boring but it's kind of true I get it yeah yeah I get that

but I am lucky with my following and you too like I do think we're lucky in a way because we ended up in this career where you're kind of an entertainer but you're kind of a friend you friend to people and you're like creating this community and you're being open but at the same time you're building this business and I think you just have to juggle all of that yeah and I think same thing with like the people who follow us I'm obsessed with people who follow me like and the office the vine um the vinos yes they honestly are this community of women that i just like feel so proud to be a part of and i sometimes i forget that that stemmed from this podcast because i'll go on the facebook page and i'm like people are like and they're so open they'll talk about like hey do you guys

ever spice it up in the bedroom like what do you guys do and they get like they're so open and non-judgmental and like raw on there and i just can't believe that there's this community where I'm like, I get to be a part of this. Wait, it's started from me. This is, I feel it's the most proud thing I have is the binos. I wonder if, that's so cool, but you made me think about something because with podcasts, you actually have to invest in the time to sit and listen and care to listen. Where on social media, you're just a quick glance and it's really easy to be a troll.

So the support must be even better when you have like a podcast or something like that. Exactly. People care enough to sit and listen. Like, I mean, haters can be, have a lot of time on their hands sometimes, but you really have to sit and listen and, like, take the time out of your day. Right. So I feel like it would be a stronger community. It is.

I've said that before that I just think everybody wants to be there and wants to be a part of it and they care what I have to say and they care about the guests I bring on and everybody's just so supportive there because nobody tunes in for an hour if they don't want to listen to you and if they hate you and if they have negative things to say. Totally. Yeah. And if they do, then that's great. You're another download. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. So it's so interesting. I should get into this. No, you should.

I've said this, was it last year or the year before we did a podcast? I think we've done one twice. No. But I said, well, we did one last year after watching the finale of The Bachelorette. Right. Leo is there. Yes. Yeah.

And then we did one the year before. Yes. That was with Leo. It was just me and you and Leo. Yes. And Nacho. Oh, God. Nacho is being hilarious.

And now there's peaches and peaches is like, I need to meet peaches. I need to meet Annie. Oh, my God. God, Annie is so cute. How have I not met her? Oh my God. She's so cute and she's talked. She would be great on this podcast. She just talks away now. Does she really? But like, she doesn't say any words, but she's just like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Basically what you and I are doing now. Blah, blah, blah, blah. She fit right in. Really? Jason and I want to come over because Jason really wants to meet you and Justin. So you guys are here until the end of the month.

Yeah. Yeah. And he's, we're going to be in Seattle, but we're back on the 24th. So does Jason golf? Yes. He's really good. That's where he is right now. We should go. playing in the pro-am. Can we? Let's do it. But you're good at golf. That's fine. I'm okay.

I'm okay. I'm not good. I'll just drink. That's basically all I go for anyways. I usually play best ball where I just hit it and then wherever it's the best ball I play from there. You and I couldn't do that. Okay, great.

Perfect. Justin and Jason can take it very seriously. Don't care what they do. Don't care. I don't care. All right. Let's take a quick second to talk about something that we can all agree on, saving money. Saving money means paying the best price for the things that you want to

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Get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash vine. That's joinhoney.com slash vine. Honey. Online savings simplified. We'll be right back with more off the vine. Grape therapy. All right, you guys, get into full summer mode with Spawfinder. Spawfinder is the world's best-selling spa gift card with a network that includes

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You just type in what type of service that you're looking for and where, Or you can even put in your zip and see the best deals around you, which is probably my favorite part, since I love a good deal. I wasn't going to say this out loud, but Jason, since you're here while I'm recording this, I'm buying us a couple's massage to get our relaxation on, okay? We're going to try to go this month, but the amazing thing is it won't expire, so there's no rush. Actually, my sister got me one of these gift cards a long time ago, like years ago, and I used it a couple years later. It doesn't expire. For a limited time, Spawfinder is giving a special offer to Off the Vine listeners, visit W. www. Spafinder.com slash vine to take 12% off $50 or use promo code Vine at checkout.

Offer expires September 2nd. Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. I wanted to talk about something because we had just talked about scrunchies and you're like, oh, I shouldn't. I'm like, no, say it and do it. And women supporting women. Yeah, you're so cool like that. And I always say it because I wanted to talk to you about this.

And I didn't know how to address it. Oh, God. Oh, no, nothing. No, no, no, it's not about you. I'm like I did something. It's about my, no, no, no, I did something. No, no, it's about, um, I wanted to know. Did you get offered Dancing with the Stars when you came off, Bachelorette?

Uh, wait. Um, you know what? Actually, I think I did. Really? And you turned it down? I think I did because, shit, I wonder if I could find those old emails. Because you might, well, you were very, um. I did, but I was so scared of people thinking that I went on the show for fame.

right but really i was in it for ed oh my god guess what about ed what what okay so i can't believe i'm talking about this but since he wrote me such a shitty email i'm like i'm like you know what i'm gonna talk about this yeah okay so after i went on that bachelor we'll talk about dancing with stars we'll go back to that yeah we'll circle back um after i did that thing that we did that yeah the reunion yeah the bachelor i was like yeah okay after we did that on that show i didn't say a single bad thing about him. They asked me what happened with Ed and I was truthful. They said, did he have girlfriends back home? He did. I answered

those questions. I didn't say anything mean or bad. I could have sewered him. I was going to say you could have torched that guy. I could have told them the real raw, dirty, whatever, but I didn't. Anyways, after it airs, I get this email from him saying, thanks for that. I should actually read the email, but I shouldn't like, was that really worth it for 15 minutes of fame? I'm like, 15 minutes fame. I'm actually been on TV. You're like, I'm good, bro. Yeah, that wasn't 15 minutes. And he's like,

you just have to talk shit about me or whatever. You don't know how that affects my relationship and my family. I'm like, I didn't say anything about you. And if you're having problems with your relationship after all these years because of that, then you've got bigger issues. Like that is. And you treated me like absolute dirt. That is not my responsibility to tell the bachelor people that I'm not going to go in this amazing reunion to protect you. Don't get. No. And he has to realize that that was the truth. The truth of, you know, that happened, and that's the show it came from. Yeah. And he does all kinds of, like, reunions and whatnot.

Like, so maybe he gets to decide what to talk about or whatnot. But I'm not going to protect him. He did nothing to protect me. And that time, he hurt me. He, like, cheated on me. Yeah. He was rude to me. He made me feel like crap.

And I'm like, I didn't even say all the things I could have said. Right. It's not my responsibility to fix your relationship. Now, if you guys are having trust issues or she's mad at you or whatever. That's why he was triggered probably. So I wrote this, like, big response. And then I was like, you know what? No.

I'm not even responding. So I just deleted my response And I was like, I'm not responding to him. Good. Well, anyways, Townsend the Stars. I think we did because I think I was trying to protect the relationship. Right.

Which now I should have just gone dancing with the Stars. I should tell Ed, it's his fault. I don't have two million followers on Instagram. Maybe you can still go back. Oh, God. But it's been such a topic through my years because everybody knows that that Fleiss was the one who denied me of it. And he had said,

nobody from my franchise will go on that show. show again because I'm sick of people wanting fame after the show. And I said, well, like it or not, people are going to have some level of fame after the show. And he's not really a wise person to argue with regardless. Well, you know, you cannot argue with that guy. He, he just said, I tried to have the argument because he told me, Sean should be your only passion. And I said, dancing is a passion. You can't tell me I don't, I can't have more than one passions. You have a family and a TV show that's two right there. Like, you can't tell me. And it just, it really fired me up. And I got Very angry.

Remember you talked to me about it? I was like furious. Yeah. It's so mad. You and I did some stuff on Twitter. Yes. That's when Twitter was big. I was like sharing the stuff with you and I was so pissed.

And it's just so unfair. And I remember thinking and then he was sick of people in fame. Then Nick went on Dancing with the Stars right after. And it was like, oh, okay. It's because Flyce, it does, I don't think it has a good feelings towards women. No, that's exactly right. And now he's in hot water. Yeah.

And guess who gets to go on Dancing with the Stars? A woman. Oh, he's not Hannah B. This bachelor. Is she the first woman? Well, no, because Trista did it. Right.

But I will say that I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so happy she gets to do it. Because I'm not mad at all that she gets to do it. I'm always just mad at the situation from what happened. But I always said, I want a bachelorette to get to do it because that's what I fight for. I fight for like women to have the same opportunity as the bachelors. I want the fact that I brought it up and had an opinion about it and spoke my truth about it.

If you got asked to go on it now, would you do it? I don't even know because to me it's like, it was a huge thing. That ate you up inside for a long time. Because you got offered it, you were able to do it. And then somebody who literally doesn't know you and doesn't understand your passion. And for literally no reason just told you that you couldn't do it. And that was, like, something that, like, that's not why you went on the show, but to anybody having that opportunity, like, you were a dancer, you were an entertainer. To get paid to dance and do what I love.

I was like, God, that's just like, that would be a dream come true. And, like, imagine having the power to either make somebody's dreams come true or shatter their dreams and choosing to shatter them. How shitty of a person you must feel. Right. Right. And he did. He shattered my dreams. But I will.

I'm just like now. I'm so mad. I know. But looking back now, I'm actually. I think, well, my relationship was kind of destroyed it anyways, but I think that would have destroyed it earlier. Yeah. But regardless, I just wanted to be on the record and say like I, this is why I spoke up so that a future Bachelorette could have the opportunity. Totally. So people are tweeting me going, oh, you must be pissed. And I'm like, no. I'm not pissed at all. I'm like, yes, I am so glad because also she's single. Yeah.

She's had a rough go. I never watched. Oh, that's okay. What happened? So. So. she got she was down to four I can't believe she kept the villain there that long he left she's down to three I kept Wes was he here's the fourth oh yeah bad boy Wes bad boy Wes yes see it's not farting yeah and that sounded like a cliche

and here's the jingle so then she is Peter who I think is going to be the bachelor even though I think it should be Mike Peter Tyler C and Jed Tyler C is now dating

Gigi Hadid Shut up Yes he's a male model He's a tall drink of water And he is

Did she watch the show How does she mean? Yeah so I think she watched the show I was on the bachelor I never met anybody That was awesome Did I meet

You freaking You Hello You're sitting right in front of her What's his name The one's that dating Tyler C Oh my God

And so then Here's the craziest part So Hannah picked Jed It came out that Jed had a girlfriend This whole time who he loved And he was going on for his music career So then they broke up And

Is that what she broke up Because he went on it for his music career? Well, no, because he was honest about that Through the show Okay And then Because that's not a big deal No, I didn't think it was a big deal either

I was like, that's cool That he admitted that And you know, who doesn't go on the show For other opportunities And you don't actually think You're going to fall in love With somebody You don't

That's why I didn't give him shit for that but then it was like a plan you know like he went in with a girlfriend with a plan and i said well i kind of had a boyfriend before going on the show too yeah but i had ended things and said you know i'm good trevor i was he just got married he did pretty sure i thought he just got engaged or did he just get married i think he just got married look at me i'm on like i'm sleuthing on my phone this whole no this is amazing um but okay but he was like genuinely in love with this girl and she was really hurt because then he got engaged engaged and then so on the after show of bachelorette she Tyler came out her runner up who's now

with Gigi and he came out and they were like should we go on a date and he was like yeah I was in love with her and they had this then there's paparazzi shots of him coming out of her um place in LA so I was like whoa that's really like cute you know we everybody was rooting for him to win anyways he was such a good one when did she find out about the cheater after like after the while it was airing after the man told like on on the final rose she already knew and she had already broken up with him

so then Tyler comes out she was trying to ask him out for a date he said yes they've spent a night together and then Gigi slides in Mr. Stelio man and now they're seeing each other so I'm like just rooting for Hannah like I'm just

poor thing I know so I just feel like this can be such a good thing for her it's going to be so empowering to just get out there and dance and you know she'll continue to grow her followers which means business and it's i'm just i'm so genuinely happy for her but it only stings because of um a sexist asshole yeah you know that's the only reason i am upset but this is why i spoke up so that my mind is you know all over the place right now i know that was a lot i can't think about i'm like that was a lot so much the process right now get ready to

get motivated with the good life with stevie and sazon on podcast one the youtube and blogging power couple warm hearts, inspire minds, and captivate listeners through intimate stories and powerful conversations with people who are making an impact from major celebrities to everyday people. Download the Good Life with Stevie and Sazon every Wednesday on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts One. I'm so happy that I went on The Bachelor when I did because there's so many, like, everybody's like meeting all these like famous actors and actresses and stuff. I don't think I could have handled that.

Like when I went on, it was just like this dorky little Canadian that was like, hey guys, Look at, I have an outy. Now people are dating famous models and stuff. Oh, I know. Wells really broke the mold when he started dating Sarah Highland. Right. I'm like so glad I snatched up Jason because otherwise he'd probably be with Bella Hadid. Yeah.

Is that a person? That's Gigi's sister. Okay. Is that a person? Yeah, she's a model. Okay. But yeah, it's crazy because now the show, like, people don't stop watching that show, but now with social media, people talk about it.

And then you see all the celebrities that actually watch the Bachelor and Bachelorette. It's crazy. And I kind of like that. You know, she was dating a guy from One Direction. Who? Zane. Who was dating? Gigi.

Oh, because you know, One Direction asked him you out when they first started. All of them? All of them. We had an orgy. Every single other. Here's my confession. I did all the guys from One Direction. This is like my claim to fame after The Bachelor.

Okay. So Google. Yeah. Gillian Harris and Harry. Stop it. Google it and tell me what you see. Wait, I'm so excited. Just wait.

So I stand by everybody. Elevator music. I can creep, I can creep on command. My name is Jillian. And there's the soundplay we're using to get headlines. Okay, wait, Jillian Harris and who? Harry Styles.

Wait, Harry Styles? Yes. Okay. The Bachelor at Star, Julian Harris, turns down Harry Styles after he asked for her number. Yeah. I didn't know who he was. I thought he was a little boy. I was in... He asked you for your number? I was at the WNLA meeting with the Life and Style magazine editor. She was interviewing me. And he walked by and I was like one of those days like, you know when you're like are hung over and Sinky. I was wearing like a gross white tank top at my

armpit stunk and I was grossy, greasy grossy, greasy, grossy. And I was flying out the next morning and could not wait to get home. And he walked by and smiled at me. and she was like oh she kind of mentioned like oh there's one direction or something like that and I was like no idea what she's talking about and as I'm leaving he runs up and he's like excuse me um could I have your phone number that's the worst British accent ever that went from British to like super French anyways I was like he was legit like 16 or 17 at the time and I'm like oh um okay I guess I didn't know what to tell me he's like we we're gonna be playing in Vancouver maybe you like to come to my show and I was thinking

Hey, that would be fun. Like, I don't know what kind of music he plays, but somebody is a musician. Do you still have his number? I do, but it's... Can he call him? I don't think it goes to anything. So as he texted me that night.

When was this, by the way? This was... So he was a little boy. This was right before... So, okay, wait, I was... This is after I broke up with Ed, for sure. So I was probably 32, right before I met Justin. So 32, like, only like six or seven years ago?

Oh. Maybe, yeah. Well, when was that article? Oh, yeah. call. All right. All right. The date's right in front of me. Harry. Oh, yeah. Here. 2012. Yeah, so 30. Yeah, seven years ago. So anyways, he texted me that night and he's like, do you want to come to my show in Vancouver? I'm like, for sure. I'd love to you. Like, what do you sing? And he was like, do you think we could go on a date before you leave? And I said, like, I think I'm all enough to be your mother. And he's like, you'd be surprised. I actually like older women. And I was like, oh, I don't think so. Like, I don't think so. And then that was it. And then when I found out who he was, I tried messaging him to be like, hey, can I still come to your show? Because I didn't want to date him or anything like that. I just thought that'd be fun. He'd be friends with somebody cool like that and have a funny story about he. I asked me out, and I had so many girlfriends who were like, try to contact him.

But for whatever reason, that number is not valid or I've texted a few times. That's so funny. Who's the most famous person in your phone? You probably. No, stop it. No. I don't know.

I mean, Harry Stiles, but just an old number. I'm always so curious about that. Like, Oprah knew who you were. Can we talk about that? Yeah. Oh, probably nitty-gritty dirt band. I love them. Yeah, Oprah, that was so crazy.

She's not in my phone. Could you imagine if you had Oprah's number? Oh, my God. I would call her every morning. I know. She'd be the one to change her number too. Good morning. Give me some advice for my day.

Some sort of inspirational quote, please. It was so insane. That's crazy. Because my ex-agent, Bill, kind of does work for her sometimes. I don't really know the real story, but they sort of worked together. So I found out that she was doing this cruise. And I tried to get in as like an influencer. And they were like, It is sold out like too bad.

And I was like, okay, then fine. Just kidding. I want to pay full price. I don't care. My mom wants to do, like my mom will dive. She sees, I want to surprise her for a birthday. So they were able to squeeze me in, paid like through the nose to get my mom on the ship. But then I emailed Bill.

I'm like, I already got the tickets. I'm already going this, but can you? Is there any way you can get me like a meet and greet with the robot? So Bill was like, yeah, for sure. That was it. And I was like, okay, so can I get some more details? Like I just want to make sure this happens. Like, you know, and somebody's like for sure, I'll take care of you.

But you're like, I need to know. want to tell your mom like yeah yeah we might see her whatever so then the night before we were about to leave we get this like knock on the door and we get like a flower and it was champagne no we had seen her the night before on her birthday because she came into a restaurant and we sang all these people saying happy birthday and she came to our table and said hi and it was my mom's birthday too so she's happy birthday but it was really quick and i was filming it with my phone but the second she came over i put my phone down because i'm like this is stupid like when people meet me i really love just connecting with totally and I'm like what's the point of even like a selfie or anything because like I'd rather just have this connection a moment with Oprah so I just like put my phone down and I can't remember what I said because I was so nervous but then fast forward a few nights they invited us to this like champagne reception we only got like a hundred people who were on the ship and most of those people were like her hairstylist and their family and like the captain in the ship and whatnot but yeah yeah so we got to go and it was so awkward in this cocktail reception because everybody was like lot to die nobody would talk to me and my mom because everybody was very latty die

and I was like oh god mom we do not belong here my mom was like I don't know I don't feel very awkward and we tried making conversation with people but everybody was like a little bit too cool for school which I was very surprised by because I feel like Oprah is like the kind of person who would want that humble people yeah but they weren't I would did not feel comfortable there at all anyways luckily they're like okay everybody get in line so everybody goes to get in line and everybody's kind of pushing around me and my mom and I'm like oh we're at the back of the line and then somebody's like and Jillian Harris Jillian Harris I'm like yeah I'm right here and they're like please come to the front of the line and I was like oh mom come come come you that's for being a

little humble sweet so I'm like my mom are waddling and I'm like sorry oops sorry and I was like oh my god so get to the front and I'm sweating and this person goes to me when she says yay look in the camera and say yay and then move along no chitter chatter no nothing and I thought they were joking I was like are you joking like what about I had this whole conversation plan out in my head yeah I brought her like a romper I was like this is so stupid oh my god like of course she's not going to take my freaking romper. So then I go to go up to her and Oprah goes, who is this? Like, why is she so special? Why does she get to go first? And the girl was like, this is Jillian. She was like, oh, Jillian. And then I go, you know who I am? And she goes, well, of course. And I said,

oh my gosh, thank you. And then I was like, and then she goes, say yay. And I went, yay. And she goes, okay, run along. And I was like, oh, that's good. So then all of a sudden, I sense like some awkwardness. And then everybody's like, I look back and my mom's just standing there. My mom's not moving. And they're like, ma'am, move. And my mom was like, no, I would like a picture with just Oprah and I without my daughter. And I was like, you bitch. Mom, I brought you all the way

on this cruise, got your picture with Oprah. I wanted my own picture with Oprah. But now I'm not getting, I'm already pushed out of line. There's no way I'm coming back. Run along. Whatever. So Oprah wraps her arms around my mom, like a BFF. And they literally take the most beautiful, loving BFF picture and hugged and chatted for a little bit about who knows what. And then left. Oh, my gosh. But that was my mom's birthday present.

So I guess she got it. I mean, that's a present of a lifetime. Yeah. Yeah, but it was amazing, but she knew who I was, but then she didn't really care. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. She knew who you were.

That's freaking Oprah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. You're listening to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. This week's Grape Therapy is sponsored by Quip. Go to getquip.com slash Vine right now to get your first refill pack free and Raycon Earbuds. Go to buy Raycon.

com slash Vine to get 15% off your Raycon Earbuds order. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV?