Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Mallory Ervin

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

Today, Youtube personality, Former Miss Kentucky, 4th runner up for Miss America, 3-time contestant on The Amazing Race, and mom Mallory Ervin joins Kaitlyn in studio. You won’t want to miss out as Mallory explains how loving her time as Miss Kentucky lead to feeling somewhat relieved when she was the runner up in the Miss America pageant. Mallory also talks about how her string of losses, including The Amazing Race, only helped lead her towards her ultimate path, and Kaitlyn gets to find out all about Mallory’s Live Fully brand and the inspirations behind it. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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All right, welcome to grape therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. My guest today is a YouTube personality, but you might also know her as the full. former Miss Kentucky, the fourth runner up on Miss America. That's amazing. And someone who competed in not one, not to two, but three seasons of the amazing race. Not too long ago, she has also added one more title to her roster. Mom. Mom. Please welcome to the podcast, Mallory Irvin. Thank you so much for being here. You, I mean, just from the second you walked in your, I am obsessed with your energy. Oh, you are just, I'm all about energy too. I love your energy from afar. and it's so awesome when someone's energy matches what you like, what the vibe that you feel from them.

Your vibe is like real good in real life. I feel the same way about you. I love your. Just like you walked in. I'm like, yep, I like this girl. Oh, you're sweet. That's so, okay, I love your accent. Thank you.

Are you from Kentucky? So I'm from Kentucky originally. Okay. I grew up on a farm with like 23 first cousins. I'm the oldest. Holy. I know. People call it compound, but compound has a sketchy connotation.

So we just call it a farm. A farm of cousins. A farm of cousins. So it's out in the middle of like nowhere. It's kind of like where Indiana, Illinois and Kentucky all meet. But I grew up like a country life. I was a total tomboy like riding four-wheelers and catching snakes and frogs. Oh my gosh.

Just the leader of the clan because I was like the oldest of the whole group. So, yeah, Kentucky has a special accent. I love it. One of my best friends, Whitney, I don't know if you watch, you watch Bachelor. Yeah. Okay. She was on Chris Sol's season. She's from Kentucky. And I just live for her accent. She's from Lexington, right? Yes. Yeah. She's precious. She is so precious. I'm going to see her in June very excited. She has a baby, right? She just had a baby. Yeah. Oh, he's so cute, little hazy boy.

And I have to ask, coming from the Bachelor World, do you know the current Bachelor at Hannaby from the Pager Rule? So, you know, I don't. Because so there's a, there's the Miss USA Circuit and then there's the Miss America Circuit. Yeah. So I feel like Miss USA, you can have a little bit longer legs. And Miss America, you have to have, like, a talent. 35% of the score is talent. Oh, I don't know that. Yeah.

So she did both systems, I think. Okay. And I like her a lot from afar. I think she's great. Yeah. But she did Miss USA. Okay. And I think she's younger than me, too.

I don't know. I don't even. Well, that's how I feel. In the Bachelor world, I'm like, I just keep getting older and then everyone else stays the same age. It makes you feel so. I get older. They stay the same age. It's like, wait until like the anniversary start coming around.

They're like, your teen year anniversary is coming up. And you're like, oh, 10 years. I know. All the girls on the last season are like 11 years younger than me. And I'm like, oh, dear Lord. How old were you when you went on it? I was 29. Oh, the right age.

Yeah, 29. To be really taken that on. It's so true. I don't know how I would have survived any other way. But yeah, it was a good. I turned 30 on. on The Bachelorette. Yeah.

That's a good way to celebrate your birthday. Yeah. And vying for you and do the rest of your life. I know. It was really great. It was a tough job, but I had to do it. Do you, are you watching this season of the Bachelorette? So, Hannah's season?

Yeah. So I've watched the first episode. I should have caught up on last night's episode. I started to watch I fell asleep. But what's telling me what's going on? Who's your favorite? What are you thinking? Well, I always, you know, we were just talking about this before we started the podcast.

Yes. The whole dang bachelor community is from Nashville now. So you always root for your hometown people. I've been in Nashville for like 13 years now. Oh, wow. And yeah, the guy from Nashville. Who's the guy from Nashville? What's his name? Is it Jeb or Jed? Oh, he's the guy from Nashville. Okay. I think he is. They always have like your token Nashvilleian. Totally. Every time. Yeah. I think that's who it is. Gosh, I should have watched it last night before I came on this. But so. I'm like getting my information from you. I'm like, tell me what's happening. Great. Great, Caitlin. I'm a great source. But you know what is funny is like you can see who kind of makes it, I feel like, far by the previews. So like he was like in the previews, I feel like. So I feel like he's going to make it far. I mean, you can tell the back of the head. I can tell the back of the head, especially with the girls. I always think that when they show previews for the whole season, I'm like, well, now we know who makes it far. I know.

I know. Yeah, it's crazy that they do that. But yes, I like her. I think she's great. I was surprised that I thought, I don't know. I just had all kinds of ideas in my head about who they were going to pick. I thought there were a lot of great characters. She was a great one too, but I was surprised when they picked her.

I always like somebody, though, that comes in and, like, represents the pageant world in a real way. Absolutely. You know, who knows how much longer pageants will even be around. I was going to say, do you think that's a dying breed with the, like, you know, like 2019 and people are like, oh, because the Victoria Secret show, for example, I feel like people are bored with seeing the same body. type with the same girls and it's like okay it's this fashion you know I I just think it's this whole world where it's supposed to be this fantasy and the guy that started at one of these girls to be like fantasy girl and I feel like everybody's kind of over it at this point but I do want to give credit to them because they're very beautiful and talented and like it they probably

worked so hard exactly that's that body doesn't usually come like that out the womb you know what I think they they're just a different breed I think it might I mean I'd kill for your skinny little arms and legs have that naturally. I remember watching you show him being like, I would kill for those little arms. Just with a little bird. But isn't that so funny that you always want when you don't have? I want bigger arms. I feel like it's an insecurity of mine that my arms are so tiny.

Oh, my gosh. They're like, they're perfect and, like, beautiful. And it's like a dainty, cute little thing. Well, thank you. But not dainty, not in your ways, but I feel like, you know. Physically, but not. You know, you are present But, you know, I don't know

You never know I mean, you know, they took the swimsuit competition Out of the Miss Married pageant And how do you feel about that? You know, I didn't like it I worked harder probably than I've ever worked For anything in my life to get in shape for that pageant And I never felt like subjected to anything

Or like anyone was looking at me in a different way When I was on the stage I felt like, by God, I have spent so much time And like the job, when I won Miss Kentucky, when certain states in the Miss America pageant, it's a huge deal. So I was employed by the Department of Agriculture and I traveled all over the state. I spoke to like five schools a day by myself in my car. I slept like three hours every night. It was an amazing role.

I mean, it was really cool. And amidst that, I had to find time to like eat healthy and work out really hard. And it was a really, you know, that was a challenge for me and a struggle. and one that I once swimsuit, I achieved it. And I just, I hated to see that go because that's something that always doesn't come easy. I'm a singer. Singing came easy to me. You can learn how to walk and you can buy whatever dress you want to buy, you know, and look hair and makeup.

But, like, that's a really tough thing to achieve. And I hated to see that part go. But, you know, I always see both sides of it. Right. I mean, obviously, like, I don't think that women, if they do feel like they are having to show their body in a certain way, I don't feel like they should have to to be able to participate, but I don't know. I never felt like that. Yeah, I wonder if, I mean, you would know better than I would if other women felt that way.

Like, they didn't feel subjected or they didn't. I mean, they had to have. I don't know, unless they were just riding the wave of everything that's kind of going on in the culture. But, you know, they're always trying to modernize everything. And it is an old establishment. I mean, I don't even know how many years missed. I was going to have. It's probably like 100.

I mean, a long time, a lot longer than like the other pageants and stuff. And you have to evolve with the times, and this is the times. At what age did you start competing? I'm not a pageant girl. So this was like something that I decided to do, like in the backseat of my car. One day, my dad was like, I think you should be Miss Kentucky. I was like, well, okay. Let me try this out.

Like, I mean, I was a singer always and I was always on stage performing, but I mean, the pageant world was new to me. My sister had done like county fair pageants. We have like the corn festival and all those types of things. where I live in Kentucky. God, I just, I, I love it. It's, uh, it's a vibe. Yeah, it is a vibe. I love it.

It's, um, so I'd seen her do them and it's, uh, it's, like I said, it was that job is what I wanted. I wanted, um, I wanted to be that you're like truly a figurehead in your state. Yeah. I mean, I got to, I flew places with Coach Calipari. Like on, I got to speak at the Senate and the House of Representatives and I helped get bills passed. Autism was my platform, like, and just really cool things that people don't think of because sometimes it's not like that.

Right. People don't see the other side of the, yeah, that's, but tell me more about the bills you Well, it was, you know, insurance reform for autism. I had three cousins that were diagnosed with autism. Whenever I was younger and growing up in Western Kentucky, there were no therapies or clinics or anything. So my aunt had to start this home-based clinic. So I kind of grew, and it was amazing, the things that they.

did with my cousins. And now they're like functioning and amazing. And, you know, it's really hard. If you don't have the means, my family did have the means to do that. But some of them don't. And insurance is just, you know, I mean, insurance in general is just so hard for so many people. But especially, you know, if you have a child with a disability. Of course. It's just tough. So, yeah, it was a bill that they were fighting for like insurance reform in Kentucky. So it was great. Yeah. You worked really hard. It did a lot of stuff. The pageant part was. Just like a little, like.

It was a little, it was fun. Great time. Yeah, so you're doing all this hard work, and then it's just like one show. Is that how? So you win Miss Kentucky. Yeah. You have to win a prelim and then you go to your state. And then you work for like the year.

And then you do Miss America. Okay. So I was runner up in Miss America. Wow. You know, at the end, I don't even know if I wanted to win it. I loved what I was doing in Kentucky. Wait, you were runner up? Uh-huh.

I was. Wow. I was like runner up of everything. Runner up of Miss America and all the amazing races. Every time I lose, a door opens. There you go. So after I lost Miss America by the skin of my teeth, I got to do The Amazing Race with my dad, which was like the time of my life. That's so cool.

Yeah. Lost that, got to do it again. Lost that got to do it again. So, you know, if I hadn't lost all those things, I really... Wait, how did you get to do it three times? So they had All-Star seasons. So, I mean, how'd you get to do The Bachelor two times? Because they liked you. That's true. The America liked you. Touche. That's a great point

So you got to do it once And then you got to go on the All-Stars And then people like you because you have great energy And you probably are a little hard work And hustling boss We had a fun time We almost won We lost about like a minute and a half

I know you just did a podcast with Caroline So I was on one of her seasons But we lost by like In the first All-Star season Like a minute and a half No who won We made it all the way around the world The two girls from Kentucky

Jen and Keisha They're my friends today. And two Harlem Globetrotters flight time and Big Easy who are still like my friends today. So you make it all the way around the world. And then we got in a taxi because we're so nice and so like polite Kentucky people that we were about to get a taxi. And this lady was like, I've been waiting for that taxi. So we're like, go ahead. She gets in the taxi. We get in the next one. Like I can't speak English like any and got us lost for an hour and a half. I mean, we would have won. Oh, that's so frustrating. Because at that point in my life, I don't know what having a million. dollars would have done to me. Wait, what does runner up get? Like, it's like a million.

Then it goes down to like 25. Oh, yeah. I remember Caroline saying that. Yeah. It's like nothing. But it was all in the plan for me because I just, I honestly don't even know if I'd be alive today if I'd had that kind of cash in my disposal. Wait, why?

What would you have done? Well, I just like, okay, so I was telling your, so the people that were doing your podcast said, like, what's your favorite drink? I was like, well, I stopped drinking five years ago and I'm pregnant. So I was like, I'm going to bring a drink to Caitlin. I was like, she can drink. Yeah, I love that. But that was back in the day, like, where I was just running a total rat race with my life.

Yeah. And I wasn't sleeping at night. So I started taking sleeping pills. Yeah. Got super hooked on sleeping pills. I was like drinking. And I just, it was a totally different life. I feel like that I'm living now.

Yeah. And Lord have mercy, if they'd handed me, you know, you're splitting it, of course, with your partner. But my dad probably would have been like, here, you can have it. You know, but once taxes are taken out, it's still like a lot of kids. cash for a young person. And I was maybe 24 or so. And I just don't know. I did not have. I've lived so many lives. And I've had like my head on my shoulders. I've had my head not on my shoulders. And now like it's very, it's very much on my shoulders because of like things up and downs of life. Yeah. Good for you. Life. Life. But yeah. I just want your accent. When you say life, I'm like,

yeah, laugh. You've got a great one, too, though. Do you think I sound Canadian? I don't think that Canadians sound a certain way. Do they typically? Yes. But it sounds like, to me, a Canadian accent, the people that I've met that are Canadian, are, it's like just a normal American accent, like a normal one, not southern, not northern. But then they say like certain words different.

Like instead of process, we say process. Yeah, yeah, like that. We say pasta, not pasta. There are certain words, yeah, that's... But, no, I don't think that... Maybe I just have met very neutral Canadians. I don't know. West Coast Canadians.

Yeah. I don't know. So I don't feel like I really have one, but then my dad who's here visiting me right now, he's... I listen to him talking, I'm like, you're the cutest human. He just like, he goes like, okay, Kate. Oh, okay, Kate. Yeah. So is it almost like British a little bit or no?

Well, yeah. I mean my whole family is I did my DNA test very British oh yeah so I have sort of a mini little half confession it's it's okay it's it's an okay confession I guess I need to share with my vinoes really quick I've been on a bit of a smoothie kick lately I'm always actually a pretty big smoothie guy but lately I've just been craving them all the time and it is possibly because dole has been a sponsor on the podcast so I have all these amazing dull crafted smooth blends just sitting in my freezer or maybe I should say I had a bunch of them sitting in my freezer. They have all these unique tasty blends that are perfectly portion pre-washed and

pre-cut that makes it super easy on me. So anyways, I was going to make the tropical fruit blend with dragon fruit. I was on the phone with Jason. I figured it would be a simple task. All I had to do is pour the bag in the blender, add some coconut water, hit the old blend button and apparently that was too easy for me. I forgot one step. I did not put the lid on and I said, and I said hey jay hold on one second i just got to blend this up and then boom everywhere anxiety attack it was all over the place it was in my nose the same thing that happened to me with hot sauce happened to me with the smoothie i had to get off the phone just uh stare slack jawed at the mess i was laughing but also like really annoyed because i'm always in a rush going somewhere and

it was literally everywhere not only at my nose it was on the floor it was on the ceiling i can't even know how am i supposed to get up there and clean the ceiling so you might be be thinking by now that turning my life into a slapsic comedy bit is the confession. Nope, that smoothie was supposed to be my breakfast, and I wasn't about to have to clean all that up on an empty stomach. There are five of the pre-portion eight-ounce servings inside the 40-ounce bag, so I went ahead and made myself a new fresh smoothie to enjoy while I cleaned. I'm not getting to really hit the spot. There was a moment when I was enjoying it and thought, you know what, totally worth it. Totally worth it. Plus, in my defense, they are incredibly quick and easy to

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So was it having a family and that are getting married or what got you out of the last? Huh. Like what was the pivotal moment in your life that made you who you are today? I've been married for two years. Like I said, whenever I walked in, I've been pregnant, like two of the two years I've been married. Yeah. That's not funny. So, you know, I stopped all of that, like, five years ago.

And, you know, it's just kind of the thing that, like, my whole brand is today, you know, people say you're a blogger or you're a YouTuber or whatever, but it's different for me and what, like, I want to promote. I, my brand is called, like, live fully. And I'm talking about, like, you've got one life and you really just have to live it. It sounds very cliche, but, like, I lived both of the lives. Right. And something that I feel like is so common in our world today, and especially, like, people are age, I think everybody numbs everything out. And I was numbing everything out. Because when you numb out the bad stuff, you numb out the good stuff, too.

And it's like I didn't feel anything anymore. And I couldn't connect to people like I do. And I'm such a people person. I couldn't. It's like I didn't even feel anything anymore. And then, like, I literally almost died because, like, of the ups and downs of everything. Like, I mean, my heart, like, couldn't take it anymore. Not like my heart and soap, but, like, my actual beating cardiac.

That's so scary. But, I mean, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah. I wouldn't change what I went through because I think it's part of, like, the message that I talk about now because, and you don't have to be like me and, like, have issues with all of it. Right. You can just be a person that, like, comes home. You brush everything that, like, is an issue with you and your husband or you and your boyfriend, you're and your parents under the rug. You drink a bottle of wine.

You go to a job. you hate you work all day you live for the weekends and you watch netflix all weekend and then it's like what is my life yeah i just feel like a lot of people live like that i used to live like that and i i had every opportunity and every so all this success at such a young age and uh you know it just if you're if you're numbing it all out and if you're not like really looking at your life and brushing every single bad feeling under the rug or numbing it out i just feel like it's a totally different world you're going to live in and and tell me about your you're YouTube and what you do on that.

So, you know how people like to be all up in your grill. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Like, they like the real stuff. Uh-huh. So I started out doing it. You know, after I did Miss America and The Amazing Race and all that stuff, I was like, you know, I had sang.

Then I'd done motivational speaking and then I'd kind of like lost my mind and come back from that. And then, you know, all these kind of things that I'd done in my life. And I had to take a seat and be like, what am I going to do next? like I don't want I filmed like hosted travel shows and all these random things but there's always job to job and looking for another gig and so I just thought to myself you know how can I make all of these things that I love to do into a career and like something that's a like that I love to do that's also lucrative and that is something that can last and everybody was doing blogs so that was an easy way to start like three and a half years ago or four maybe yeah started a blog and I was like talking more about fashion and beauty and then now everyone was loves vlogs. You know, you know what a vlog is, like a video on YouTube. All we really do is like turn a camera on ourselves and we show ourselves like living our every day. We talk about obviously like the stuff that we're cooking and the stuff we're doing with my son and you know, all of these things. But people love that kind of stuff. They do. Yeah. I'm so thankful

that that's a thing that people love to watch. Well, they love it if you have the right personality for it and do the right thing. So good for you for doing that. Yeah. And what is your YouTube channel called? It's just my name. So Mallory Irvin and I'm doing a podcast too because I just think it's great to have some people don't like video, some people don't like listening, some people don't like to read a blog so I think in this

world I mean you've seen what the changes that are about to happen with Instagram and all these different things you've just got to have your your arms and all the fire. Well they say they're doing a beta test of something where they're taking away all of the views and likes they're taking away seems like the power of the influencer. Right. I mean

I'm assuming Instagram ain't making that cast and those influence are making a lot of cash. That's exactly what's happening. So how is that? That's going to change everything. It's going to change everything. Oh, God, I'm out of a job. You're Mimo.

What are we going to do? Renovate your house and we'll film it and put it on you too. That's exactly what we're going to do. You know, who knows? I'm 50-50 on it. I hate it, obviously, as an influencer. You know, you probably are the same way. Like, I don't run my business, like, looking at likes and followers and stuff.

But that's, like, how a brand evaluates you. and I don't do a billion brand deals, but I turn down about 80% of the brand deals I get offered, but the ones that I do, they have to look at something. So is there any way Instagram can do, or is that the whole,

are they upset about the influencers? Like, can they just give it to anyone, you know, with a little blue checkmark or something? I mean, amen, you know me? We'd be fine. Yeah. But I don't know.

You know, they're talking about creator accounts and they're talking about other things. But, you know, part of it I do like. because I have a child that's going to grow up, too, when this one's born, you know, and I don't want. People base a lot of self-worth on, like. They do. I didn't grow up. I mean, you didn't either.

We both are around the same age. So I can't imagine, because there have been times, like, on Instagram where you're looking at the numbers. And I can't imagine as a child having that. So I do like it for my children. But I do think that they should, you should be able to turn it on, I think, if you're an influencer and if it's your job. But, yeah, I can't imagine. That makes me sad to think that kids, I guess kids, like, bully each other with it. They do.

They team up and say, don't like this person's picture and stuff. I mean, yeah, and I remember there was a girl I had on my podcast from the Kind campaign, Lauren, and she was talking about how they go around to different schools. Oh, well, they're on the Today Show? Probably. I don't think they were. Really? I don't know. If it's who I'm thinking of.

But sorry. Lauren Paul, she's Aaron Paul is her husband. and he was on Breaking Bad. Okay. Sweet little couple. Yeah. And so, yeah, they started this kind campaign and they go around to different schools to promote kindness and how being kind is being cool. And they see a lot of.

It's awesome. Yeah, it's amazing. And they see a lot of her other business partner, Molly. They see a lot of situations where girls will actually say you can't hang out with us unless you get this many likes on your photos. Oh, my gosh. So I do agree with you for the, you know, generation coming up with social media, I think it's, I would love if I had kids who, you know, didn't look to social media for likes for self-worth. And I think it's important to make those

changes. But I do also think that's a business for some people and that it should be looked at as a business. It's tough. It's a tough, like, balance. Because, I mean, look at how hard you've, we were just talking about this before the show started, like how, you know, some people that are on a reality show, whether it be the ones I was on, the ones you were on, you know, they take the quick buck and they do all the deals and they, you know, and that's fine. But you and I, we wanted to make it into something longer term. So we had to leave a lot of cash on the table. We had to really build our audience with something of value. And, you know, because that eventually will all burn out. Yeah, exactly. And it was hard kind of to build, you know, it was easier for us. We had a

leg out. It was a lot easier for you. Of course, you had a national audience. But then you got have something to back it up. Yeah, exactly. That's, and I always say this that I didn't even know what's the power of social media when I came off that show, because it wasn't a, it was like my season that it started becoming something you could make money off of. What year did you do it? What year was it actually? Oh, boy, 2015. Oh, so it really was. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever do anything like a blog or a YouTube channel? I still have. I have a blog. I mean, it's more just, you can go on my website for like my scrunchies that I have or my wine label that's coming out. And I'll do, if I go on trips, I'll do like where you should go. But it's not something that I'm not a blogger

by any means, but or YouTube. That's, I feel like my thing's podcasting. Yeah. And you're so good at it. Well, thanks. How does it feel, though, to be in the world where like you were the first one kind of, I feel like you were one of the pioneers of like this space, especially in the reality space, like coming into the space. And now every single. person has a podcast. I got in really like I'm getting in late but well yeah it I just feel like I am so grateful for my loyal listeners that I feel like I've just built such a community and family with them that I I just I don't know I see their loyalty yeah that other people come into the space of podcasting and I'm like I'm like that's great for them and and it's I don't feel like it's

a competition. Same. Yeah. I just feel like I have such a great audience and I'm just so thankful for it that I don't. I never look at numbers. I never look at my downloads. I never look at where I'm out on the charts. Yeah, you just said that.

I can't believe that. I'm just so happy with what I'm doing and I love everybody that listens. I'm just so I don't, that stuff. It matters, I guess, for income and but I don't want it to, again, it's like the likes on Instagram. I don't want it to affect me. me and that's awesome though I know and I always said I'd be happy with constructive criticism and feedback because I want obviously people to feel happy with what I'm giving them in a podcast and

that's it's so hard when I get people saying well you're repeating yourself or you're talking too much about Jason I'm like oh but that's what I love but you know and you know what's great well that's great because they're loyal listener and they're listening all your content right but it's great when your message is consistent because there's a lot of people that don't repeat themselves it's just because they're listening to somebody else's podcast and, like, regurgitating that information, you must be speaking from where you really feel if you keep saying the same thing. Thank you for that. I say it in a positive like, Caitlin.

I like that. Thank you. I think it's great to have a consistent message. You know, you find a different spin, of course, but you're doing that. Oh, thank you. All right, ABC's sexy summer drama, Grand Hotel is about to be your new Guilty Pleasure. A five-star hotel with five-star secrets set along the gorgeous backdrop. of Miami Beach.

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Each week, Heather sits down to share with you the techniques and strategies to create your confidence, pursue your dreams, and leapfrog the villains you'll meet along the way. And she's going to be talking to people about their inspiring stories and answer your questions to create your confidence. Download new episodes of Creating Competence with Heather Maugh-on-Hand, only on Apple Podcasts and Podcast 1. This is Austin Vine, Grape Therapy. Let's talk about your podcast. going to be about. So it's just kind of like what I talked about a while ago. It's going to be like it's called Living Fully

with Mallory Irvin. I'll have part shows just me. I'll have part shows guests and it'll just be everything just about living your life to the fullest. And I just hope that you know there's there are so many right now like we keep saying and but there is so much room.

Yeah. And I feel like people in this generation they want to consume everything fast and passively. Yeah. So it's like I don't even know how much longer people are going to be sitting there watching a 20 minute YouTube video. People like to listen to things in their cars now. Yes. No, you're so right. And even on Instagram, I find if I see a one-minute video, I'm like, oh, hell no. I got a minute. I got 60 seconds. I got 40. I got 60. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I like

the quick 10-second clips on Instagram stories. But that's good. Yeah. People do love listening to things in their cars. And I do think podcasting can have such a powerful message if you use it correctly. And that's, I could see you doing that because living fully. How do you? live fully? I mean, a lot of different ways. Like I said, I don't brush everything that comes at me where a lot of people are like, I don't want to deal. Yeah. Yeah. I at one point in my life, when I was like changing my life all those years ago, I had to deal with everything. And I was like, I had no, like, actual trauma as a child or anything like that. So I was like, I have a perfect family. I have nothing wrong. I just like went off the rail somewhere. But no, like even when

you feel like it's all together and like you don't have something that stands. hands out in your mind that happened to you and then everything. There's a lot of underlying things that as human beings, we just, we collect as we like go through life. And it's, I look at everything. And, you know, I have the man that I'm married to now, his name's Kyle, he works with me now. Okay.

And he is, like I was just telling you about your boyfriend. Yeah. The only word I can describe him is precious. They're precious. Like, you have a precious person. Yes. And Kyle is the same way. But everything, I mean, I think relationships, the person that you end up with and the person that you marry is, that's like the most important decision.

Absolutely. I feel like, and making sure you're ready to be married. I mean, thank the Lord. I got married at 30 or 31. I can't remember. But that's one of the things I'm really grateful for. I'm glad nobody asked me before then because I probably would have said yes. Like, you know, you don't know not to.

You think this is, okay, I think this is right, right? Oh, yeah, probably would have said yes to all my exes. Yeah. Yeah. I know. But didn't know why ask. Well, I said yes once, but you did. You thought it was right. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's just like the time in your life and the person that you're with. Of course, that's why you're with them. You think it's right. Of course. But we, anything like that's like an issue or if we're feeling off, we're so open and we communicate and we've been through. It's the best. And I'm really grateful to have that. And if anyone has that in their relationship, like I feel like you're just a thousand steps ahead. it's everything that's that is one thing I will say about this relationship even though people tell me I talk too much about Jason I'm going to again

I'm making you talk about it to me I have learned so much just in the short amount of time that we have dated about communication because he is so good at it and I always thought I was good at it and I'm learning that I love it and I love communicating but I wasn't the best at it and I'm getting better and better and it's just so important and it does wonders for yourself and for your relationship and it's the most important thing in a relationship yeah it really is and people think like if they can talk you can talk you can talk to these padded walls in here. Absolutely. I could too, but just talking is not communicating, communicating, is listening, is picking up on signals and vibes and being like, things that you don't want to talk about, like just bringing them up and being like here. Yeah. I mean, I just, and I'm grateful that I feel like, you know, like I said, we are a culture and we are a generation of people that are numbing things, but we're also a generation of people that are being vulnerable and communicating and talking about things. So true. I say that all the time that it's one of the most important. things you can do about something that's bothering you or something bigger in life. Having conversation is the best thing you can do and being vulnerable about it. And I do find that we are generation that we have more conversation around tough topics. Right. And that's causing like a really big shift in the world. Yeah. But it's in the best way possible. And it's kind of a mess

right now, but it's going in the right direction. Right. Because I think, I think like I said, communicating, you've got to hear the other person too. And I think, unfortunately, sometimes in today's day and age people are just talking at each other yes they don't people spend so much time trying to change other people's minds and yes and i don't i don't think that that's where it lies i think it's show your passion for the thing that you care about and and shine it like to the world you know how how attractive is like someone's energy when someone has a good energy and a good vibe you're going to listen to what they say and that will change my mind if i'm listening to someone that I'm like, oh my gosh, I love Oprah.

I love Oprah. Some of the things that Oprah says, like I disagree with, but I still, I love Oprah. So I'm going to listen to her talk about those things that she cares about that maybe I didn't even think about. But if somebody's talking at you and somebody's just saying, you should and you need to believe this, I feel like it's just, it's not a powerful thing. And I think everybody's doing that right now. That's a really great point. Everyone's talking at each other and nobody's really listening. Yeah.

That's so true. I feel like that's, like, you know, you see on Twitter all the time or certain things, like, everyone is just using these social media platforms as like a outlet to be mean and to have, like, this is what I think and nobody else can be right. And then they can fights and it's whether it's politics or, you know, religion or anything, even just like reality TV shows, everybody's got an opinion. But nobody really seems open to other people's opinions. I know. Yeah. And like it doesn't, it doesn't make you believe your thing that you're so attacking. you any less to listen to another human being. I mean, I feel like that's what our world was built on. Like, thank God for all these different human beings with their different opinions. What would our world be? But yeah, I do wish that people could just calm it down a little bit and like listen. Yeah. And I think it's a powerful thing. It is. I agree with that.

Yeah. Let's talk about your family. Okay. I've got a big one. A farm full of them. I've got a farm of family. What did your life look like after you finished filming the third season and what was next in terms of career? So after I, you know, I always in my career and my goals, I will ride a wave. I think a lot of people, especially a lot of young people, I know there's people in college. I'm sure that are listening to your podcast and high school and like after college, like those formative years. And they feel like if they don't have it all figured out, like they're failing already. and they're just so not.

I know. You really just have to ride the waves of life. And like if you do have it figured out at 21. Like what? I mean, what? You don't. Like maybe you want to be a doctor. I feel like they have a passion for that.

They got to go to school for 50 years. Like they have figured out. Right. But I wrote a lot of waves. I always thought I wanted to sing country music. And then when I won Miss Kentucky and I had my world open to speaking and all these different things, I changed my mind and I turned down a really big opportunity

in the music space and I'm so glad that I did and then after I did Miss America and I got offered first they tried to they kind of like reach out to some of the people that they like and then you have to go through the process

so it's not like they just were like go on the show it's like here do you want to be invited to the interviews? Yes of course and they invited me first for Survivor and I was like I've been starving for this past I feel like I'm starved so I can't know and then they you know offered the race and and and we went through a very rigorous casting process my dad and I because my dad is not like me

where he talks and talks and very open and describes what he's feeling like on the inside all the time on the outside he doesn't really say much at all yeah so you know the characters tell the story on these reality shows you don't have a narrator on The Bachelorette you don't have a narrator on Amazing Race so you have to talk about what you're feeling and what those people said to you and where you're going and why you feel you know like that's not going to work right so um so yeah then i rode that wave then i got cast again and rode that road that wave and then after travel shows per se it was a reality show but i got cast to host some travel shows so i lived in malta for a while and i filmed this pilot for the show called mallory meets locals i literally lived with local families

and went all over the country and did all these things that the people do yeah and it was like so much fun. Well, you probably learned so much. You learn so much and you just see that, A, everyone in the world is kind of the same. Totally. The things that matter to people are like the same. And yes, the way that we live in our houses and like those things look different. But it was awesome to see. Like everyone loves their family for the most part around the world. I feel like everyone is drawn to wanting to like love their job and work hard and like they're so proud of what they do. I feel like sometimes in our culture we lose. that a little bit but in you know that was awesome to see around the world and um yeah everyone just wants to be loved yeah everyone everyone wants to be loved yeah yeah and not the truth it's that's um that's a good point yeah so ride the wave so ride those waves yeah so yeah so yeah and then like when people were starting blogs i was like well let me ride this wave i don't ever get caught up on well this is what i said i was going to do and i got to conquer this mountain because if it's not the right mountain

anymore get down because you got another one climb i love that I mean, it's just people get in their own heads too much. And if you get in your own head about your life and you're going to stall or you're going to end up marrying the wrong person or in the wrong job and you climb the wrong ladder and then you're at the top and you're like, well, shoot. That's the same. I always try and preach for people to live authentically because if you do, the right people come into your life, the right life lessons happen, the right jobs happen. Yeah. If you're just living true to yourself and going after things that you actually love and being okay with saying. know or leaving something that you're not happy and it's always so hard to do but it's so rewarding

at the end of the day when you do that for yourself and you always learn and feel empowered and it always opens the door for something that you're supposed to be doing if you if you follow that you know intuition and you're hard of what you love to do every car comes with its share of stories that ding in your bumper when you nervously picked up a first date the luxury package you got after a big promotion or the mileage you saved by riding your bike all summer while you can't put a price tag on your stories now with true car you could at least find out what your car's worth when it's time to sell or trade it in just go to true car simply enter your license plate number and watch how your car's details pop up then answer a few questions navigation

and moonroof watches they bump up your value high mileage well you already knew that was going to cost you but now you know how much it dings your wallet so you can plan ahead and once you're finished you will get a true cash offer sent in minutes which you can take to a local certified dealer to cash out or trade in. So when you're ready to experience a better way to sell or trade in your car, check out true car today. True cash offer not available in all areas. On Twitter, I think somebody said, you know, I'm 23 and I feel so lost and blah, blah,

and I feel like I'm supposed to have it together. I'm like, at 23, I had $5 to my name. I lived in a 400 square foot apartment where my bed was in my kitchen. I was suffering from a heartbreak, which I thought was the end of the world. Yeah. I had no I worked at a restaurant I had no education

I was like and I just kept I was like you know what I just got to keep going and exactly the same as you ride the wave and you don't know what's going to happen but it's not the end of the world

and you figure it out and she was like oh okay I feel right because I'm like you know like now I'm 33 wait 33 I'm about to be 34 and it just feels like okay now I finally feel like

I'm on the right path but it takes time Like 23, you're just a baby. I know. Isn't that the truth? And they see you now. So they see you as this enormous success. You've almost got two million followers on Instagram and, you know, people measure their success in life by Instagram followers.

It is a business. And I mean, you've got, look at all the success and you've got love and you, you know, and people always forget, which is why I, it's awesome that you remind people of that. And I always try to, too. I always want to be like, I almost like literally almost died. Yeah. after having, even after having success. Yeah, right. Because I was just off because you're in your own head.

You can ruin everything. Yeah. Yeah, but that's awesome. And isn't it crazy? Like what life is so wild. It really is. Like you think it's over and then something a week later can happen where it just opens up your whole future and happiness.

If you're open. Like I had those breakups too. Oh my God. I would cry in the line at the fifth third bank. I would cry like in the grocery store. You literally think it's like worse than death. It's like, oh my gosh, that is the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. And that's just such a youthful thing to think because if another human being is defining you and your happiness, you are, everybody always already knows where that's going to go.

Yeah, exactly. So it's a. You can never look for fulfillment or happiness from the outside ever. You can't. And it's hard because I feel like. In our society, everyone kind of does. Yeah. Because it'll temporarily fulfill you in that moment if you're on the nice trip or you've got the nice things, but long term.

Yeah. Isn't it wild that like now it's a business, apparently, I saw it on, I don't know, a morning show, that you can now pay money to go on like, you can pose pictures of a vacation. So you can pose on like a private jet. You can pose like, it's a thing. I know. Isn't that? And that is a shame. Oh, that makes me want to just.

That is a shame. No. Because, like, people will literally, they want the picture more than they do the experience. And when the world gets to that, it's like, well, shoot. Now what? That's why virtual reality is good. You don't even need to go on the trip anymore. You're going to just get the virtual reality.

That's scary to me a little bit. Well, there's no experience there. There's no growth. I know. Part of traveling is I grew so much as a person just from traveling and seeing the world. And that was later in my life, too. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I was so sheltered. Yeah.

Well, I wasn't. But, like, that's what I felt because I didn't see other things. Like, I remember my sister was telling me, you know, we grew up in this really small town. And she's in this small town and has two kids. And she was like, yeah, we went to Vancouver for Sydney's cheer competitions. And, you know, the kids were scared and they saw homeless people. And they, you know, and it was just too, they got overwhelmed. And I'm like, great.

That's perfect. And they need to see that. And that will, you know, that's, if Sydney wants to, this is my niece, she's, she's got just so much potential. She's so smart and sweet and entertaining and just talented. And I just feel like she's going places and, and I'm like, she has to see, like, Vancouver is just, you know, it's a nice city. Yeah. There are homeless people. You don't have to be scared of them.

Like, you can help them and you can grow. And you're going to see more of that if you travel and that's going to get you to where you want to go and have the life experience. and people just, you know, some people just get afraid of things of the unknown and things that they don't know. They do. Or that I just don't want to face it. Like, you know, you feel a certain thing. You feel the homeless community in particular, like, oh, I just have such a soft spot in my heart. I know people are like, get a job.

And I'm like, you know what? What if you were sleeping on the streets every night? How would you, would you seem a little unstable? Heck yeah. I'm unstable. Like, after, when I have a new baby in a house, like when I don't sleep a whole night? I mean, and I haven't had a shower, I'm thinking wacko things, and I'm doing wacko things. Absolutely.

Like, I just, you know, because every human being is a human being. There's no reason why you or I were born into the situation that we were in and not into whatever they were born into. Well, that's the thing. I work with the Covenant House and with homeless youth. And I always learn new lessons every year from doing this because you don't, I used to be naive. I used to be that person that walked through the streets of Vancouver. and said, why don't they get a job? And then I started learning that you don't even know how this started.

They could have felt safer on the streets than they did in their own home due to abuse or alcohol or whatever it is. And then, you know, once you get on the, if you don't get the help that you need to, you do, you know, you start turning to drugs and things just to survive. You go into survival mode and sometimes those people just need a little help or, you know, food. I try and, if I see someone that's homeless, I try and not give money, I'll try and bring them food. But, you know, if they don't want food, I will give them a little money. I mean, whatever. If they're buying cigarettes, okay, yeah, of course I don't want them to smoke cigarettes. Right.

But, like, you just, I just help in some way. And it's, I mean, when you don't have a driver's license, how's somebody going to hire you? And, like, you know, you and I have a heart for them, but are you going to hire them to be behind your booth? No, there's a more qualified person. And I just, I feel for them because a lot of times, like, they have this whole backstory and this whole life. And, you know, when you and I were going through this time in our lives, who knew if we took, like, if we took, like 10 more bad turns. And if you didn't have a family that would pull you off the streets, I mean, I see how people

can end up there. I know. I agree. Well, or Miss America, to homelessness, to podcast, to live in your life fully. Precious men. This is what off the vine grape therapy. That's what it's all about. It's just random conversation.

I love this. And now I'm going to bounce back to your family. Tell me how you and your husband met. Okay. So, do you know Hillsborough Village? Yes. Yeah. Okay. So that's in Nashville for people that are listening that don't know. There's a coffee shop called Fido. Do you know that coffee shop? No. So it's just this random coffee shop. I used to actually live on the street that we're recording on right now. Yeah. And it's really close just around the corner. And literally, Kyle and I both went at like 7.30 in the morning and by ourselves and sat by each other like randomly and started talking. That seems like such an old school way to meet. Isn't it? I'm like, so it's not on Tinder?

No, I never had to do any of those. That's amazing. Yeah, it was the most organic, like random. I did not know him from Adam. I never met him or seen him. I didn't know any of his friends or anything. And it was just, yeah. Where is he from? He's from, well, he was born in Nashville.

Then they moved, like, right outside of Nashville, like 20 minutes. And then he went to school at Tennessee, played rugby at Tennessee. And then he was here for like 12 or 15 years, however long. Yeah. So here. Oh, that's great. Yeah. And you just laid up when you talk about them too.

Well, it's so funny, too. Like, I always, some days I'll be like, gosh, man, it stresses me out to think, what if I had gone to a different coffee shop like that morning, you know? You just, it's just funny how the world works. I say it all the time. Like, certain things, I am a big believer in the universe and things happening. Oh, and I will read books on it and listen to things about. You and me. Well, we haven't talked about our biggest thing in common.

What? No, that, like manifesting things to the universe. Oh, I am the biggest believer in manifesting and paying attention to signs. It's like. Same. Oh, my gosh. Oh, well, that's, yeah, I can't believe we haven't talked about that. I almost brought you a citrine, which is like a manifesting crystal, but I can't get too wacky.

Please get that wacky always. I like Jesus, too, but I think crystals are great to have in your house. Also, like, I mean, I like them all. I am so into that stuff. Yeah. I like literally at the beginning of the year, I can write. to the penny and like crazy numbers the exact amount of money that I want in my personal account in my savings account and I can to the penny at the end of the year end up at that like I can

visualize so strongly I've been doing it for like four years like the secret and you know all the books and stuff but I believe it oh me too I believe it I have been manifesting so I remember being 23 I've talked about this people probably get annoyed because I've talked about it so many times But I wrote down all my goals and wanting a radio show and wanting to go on TV and wanting to build my own brand of business. I didn't know the word brand at the time, but like build my own little empire. And I forgot I even did that because I just, I believe. Oh, and then someone took a picture of it. Yeah.

I just saw that this morning. I was looking on your Instagram. Yeah. It was crazy. And it just sometimes I don't even realize how much I'm manifesting and things that I want. But I just, I always want people to believe. in the power of, like, positive thinking and what it can do for you. Yeah.

And it doesn't have to be some crazy way to think of it. It's not like crystals and psychics and voodoo and stuff, all that stuff is fine. But, like, it's in the Bible. It's like it's all the greatest spiritual teachers teach it. Like, it's everywhere. Yeah, yeah. It is so powerful. It is very powerful.

Yeah. It always blows my mind. Okay. We're going to do some rapid fire questions. Okay. And it's just a fun way for people to get to know you. Okay. Okay, dream person to compete with on the Amazing Race.

As my partner? Yeah. Oh, my dad. Oh, amazing, and you've got to do that. Yeah, incredible. 100%. Okay. Most embarrassing moment competing in pageants.

Oh, shoot. So I've competed in the Miss Kentucky pageant, and for some reason I chose Rocky Top Tennessee as my talent song the first year. I don't know why I did that or why I didn't think that was weird, but that is embarrassing. Looking back, I also wore a velvet cat suit with sturt pants at the bottom. man, shoulder pads in my, and it was not the 80s. It was like 2010. Yeah, because shoulder pads are coming back now. Yeah, but they weren't in 2010.

It looks like Reba McIntyre mixed with like Millie Vanilly. I don't know. God knows. Can I YouTube this somewhere? Yes, I'll send it to you. Yes, please. Thank you. Last item you crossed off your bucket list.

Oh, gosh. I don't even have that much left on my bucket list. That sounds morbid to say, but I've gotten to do so much. That's amazing. Probably becoming a mom. Yeah. that and like starting a another like a podcast and my brand that's those two things you're going to do so great with podcasting that means a lot coming from you you are I can appreciate yes I can just tell

you you have the right energy personality skill sets talking everything yeah thank you you're going that means a lot coming from and and you have a lot of life experiences to talk about and I think it's really important to to send the message of living your life fully and what that looks like I think it's yeah you're going to do great and you have to have me on as a guest. And I want to. I was going to ask you that rapid fire at the end. One question.

Yeah. Favorite part about being pregnant? I'm one of those people that really loves to be pregnant. You do? I can kind of tell. I can kind of tell. It's like my vibe. I can let my stomach out.

I can wear body cond dresses and, like, not have to exercise. It's good for me. Yeah. The end gets sketchy. Yes. Yeah. I like dressing pregnant, too. Yeah.

Like, it's easier, I feel like, to wear fitted clothes pregnant sometimes because it's... I love a pregnant body. Yeah. I just think it's so beautiful. You'll be cute. If you, I don't know if you want kids or not. Oh, absolutely. I could see you with a lot of kids and I could see you being like literally the cutest.

Yeah. Oh, I like feel like I was put on this planet to be a mom at some point. Dog mom first, then real mom. Favorite way to unwind after a hard day. You know, I love, like, whenever you have a child and your child goes to bed at 730, like we're about to have two and we keep looking at each other and be like, how in God's name? Are we going to do this? Just sitting on my couch and like watching a show.

We don't watch a lot of TV. But sitting there with my husband, we have an outdoor space where we have a TV out there. And it's the best and like grilling with him and just, you know, being like one-on-one with my husband after we've had a hard day of work together and like raising a child. That I love to unwind like that. Yeah. I agree. I mean, I love a spa too. Oh.

I love for a good spa day. I love it. Best part about living in Nashville. I love Nashville because it's a big city with amazing opportunity but the people still feel like they're from a small town I agree

I grew up in a small town where it's human beings talk to human beings and everyone knew everyone and I feel like that about Nashville yeah that's so true I say that too

it feels like because I grew up in a very small town and I always said it's a big city that feels like a small town yeah yeah biggest guilty pleasure

I do like to buy a designer things oh do you yeah is that a guilty pleasure yeah Absolutely, that is. We kind of like Gucci.

Yeah, my guilty pleasure is that, like, I thrive in, like, pay less shoes. I wish that was mine. Lord, I could have bought a house a lot sooner. I should say my guilty pleasure is probably expensive wine and spa days. Yeah. Okay. So we're both. The cash is flowing.

Yeah. That's a good guilty pleasure, whatever makes you happy. Yeah. Well, it's not the stem of my happiness, but I do. No, no. I mean, I like it. Yeah. It's a guilty pleasure.

It doesn't have to be the stem of your happiness. Guilty about it. Biggest pregnancy craving. I eat whatever I want pretty much all the time in my life. I just don't get too stressed about it. That's amazing. So same with pregnancy. Except for I got gestational diabetes last time.

Oh my gosh. Really? Yeah, you can get diabetes when you're pregnant. Oh, that's so scary. Yeah, you've got to watch up for that. Okay. So that was not fun because I had restrictions. But like right now, I mean, I always love Mexican.

Okay. So I eat a lot of Mexican. God, I love Mexican. I was just in Mexico for a week and I was in a place. Oh, like the real Mexican. Real Mexican with margaritas and real Mexican food. Yeah, virgin margaritas are like my craving because I love salty and sour. Yes.

Oh, yeah. My mouth actually just watered for you. For you. YouTube or Instagram? Oh, that's hard. I do love Instagram. I do love the space of Instagram. I love Instagram stories, the best of Instagram.

I get a lot of views on Instagram stories because it's. It's almost like doing a vlog. Right. And so I like Instagram story about Instagram, but I love video components always. I do love YouTube. Yeah. But it takes a lot more effort to do YouTube. Yeah.

So it is. I can't imagine. I don't answer the question. Sorry. No, that's okay. You don't have to. You don't have to. That's what I always wanted to start a YouTube channel, but I just felt I'm like, I've

got too much. I feel like it's a very big commitment. Yeah. You would be fantastic on YouTube. But what would I do? Get somebody else to film you. Oh, you can do anything. You just sit and have random conversation like we're having right now to the camera.

Okay. Yeah, and sit in to the back phone. And it doesn't have to be fancy, right? Like, you don't have to have a production team. No, I'm never, I'm not like not wearing makeup on it. It's very casual. Yeah, that's how I would be. It's very cash.

I love cash. Yeah. Cash is my vibe. It is my vibe. Okay, so tell me where everybody can find you. So your podcast will be out when? So it will be out in about four weeks, hopefully, like a month. on like some a new website and stuff for it to live on.

So some of that's just kind of dragging. But yeah, within the next month. Okay. But you can just watch. My Instagram's just Mallory Irvin, M-A-L-L-O-R-Y-E-R-N. Okay. And same with YouTube. It's just YouTube.com back slash Mallory Irvin.

I'm pretty sure. Okay. Just Google my name. Yeah. Okay. Well, I just really enjoyed talking to you. This was the best. Yeah.

You have a real gift for this space. Thank you. I feel like you're going to as well. Well, thanks. it was really an honor to be on yours. Oh, you're the sweetest. I feel like I'm going to force a little friendship on you. Yeah, I'm down with that.

I'll come out to the boonies where you live. I'm not going to tell him because I don't know if you've released where you live in Nashville. It is the booties. When Jason first came to my house, he was like, oh, you are out there. I'm like, I love it. I love it. My neighbor, Rosemary, she comes over and brings me gravy. Like, it's the best.

That is awesome. I absolutely love it. Well, thank you so much for being here. And anytime you need me to come on your podcast, I am so gay. It's happening. Your session is now, I need. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday.

And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? This week's grape therapy is, Sponsored by ABC's Grand Hotel. Check it out Monday, June 17th, 10.9 Central on ABC after The Bachelorette. TrueCar, visit TrueCar for a more confident car buying experience. BetterHelp. Go to BetterHelp.com slash Vine. And use code Vine for 10% off of your first month. And Dole Crafted Smoothie blends. Find them now in your frozen aisle.