Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Mediocre Advice, Foot Pics, & Operation Find Paul Rudd

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

Gorgeous, gorgeous girls… give mediocre advice? Today on the pod, Kaitlyn is joined by her team to go through the OTV Hotline and listen to the questions, confessions, and even prank call suggestions from the Vinos. Vinos, you did NOT let us down. Kaitlyn gives advice on everything from wedding planning to friendships to being yourself in these weird times, because you can be anyone in this world so why not be yourself… or Beyoncé? A couple Vinos came through with incredible confessions, and we even got a special surprise caller for KB. Then, it’s prank call time as “Karen” gives Hannah a quick call to discuss a new job opportunity. The three wrap up by talking about Operation #DollyPaulie. Be sure to call in with your questions for KB, your confessions, and even prank call ideas because we’re having TOO much fun on the OTV Hotline.  CYRANO - Don’t miss CYRANO, only in movie theaters February 25th. Learn more at cyrano.movie.  Merrell - Merrell’s pink products are the perfect thematic gifts for Valentine’s Day. Head to Merrell.com to check it all out! QuickVue: Pick up a QuickVue® At-Home OTC COVID-nineteen Test over-the-counter from your local retailer or visit QuickVueathome.com.  Vizzy: Step up your seltzer game with Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/VINE.     See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads Sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy, and with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. This week's grape therapy is sponsored by Serrano. Don't miss Serrano only in movie theaters February 25th. Learn more at Serrano. Meryl's pink products are the perfect thematic gifts for Valentine's Day. Head to merrill.com to check it all out. Quickview.

Pick up a quick view. at home. OTC COVID-19 test over the counter from your local retailer or visit quickview at home.com. And Vizzy. Step up your Seltzer game with Vizzi to find out where you can purchase Vizzie. Go to Vizziehardseltzer.com slash vine. We're on with OTV. Podcast One presents Off the Vine, great therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor.

Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. All right, welcome to great therapy, everyone. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. I always think about the Vinos when I think that bitches come and go, bro. But Vino's stay forever. That's our theme song.

Anyways, okay, I'm currently recording from good old Omaha, Nebraska. Why do I always want to say Nebraska like this? Nebraska. I feel like that was on Anchorman. Anyways, we are just making our way through the Midwest here on the old tour bus. And again, if we're coming to a city near you, it's such a great show. Actually, Jason was so blown away by it.

It's so entertaining. It's so fun. It's such a feel-good show. I can't say enough good things about the show. So look it up at www.s.tstor.com. We've been having so much fun on the road, making TikToks, playing cards on the bus, dancing. It's actually so fun. But anyways, we are doing our own.

OTV hotline. And I had so much fun in today's episode with my producers. I don't know if everybody really knows this, but Cleo actually works as a producer on my podcast sometimes, but usually it's Madison. And I have them both on the podcast today. And we make a hilarious prank call. I give advice. And I just have loving this new structure of grape therapy. It's just so good. It's such a fun little 45 minutes. And I hope everybody just walks away from this podcast, feeling. happy as shit. Ooh, there's a shit confession in here, too. It's a good one.

Okay, I announced the OTV hotline a couple weeks ago, and so many of you left voicemails for me with, like, the kindest words, and you really pumped my tires. So thank you for that. I appreciate all the love, but we can only share a few per episodes. So my producers went through them and grabbed some good ones for me to listen to so I can be surprised on the pod today. And then I can listen to the rest on my own.

So I'm really excited. This is seriously the highlight of my week is being able to hear from the Vinoes. Okay, so my producers, Madison and Cleo. Madison is usually on the calls and Cleo, everybody knows. But Madison, what do you got for me? Okay, so we went through all the voicemails that people left. So many people wanted advice from you

because you're obviously the Barbara Walters of our generation. So I was thinking that we could just make it into a segment each week where you give the Vito's advice and give them what they want. Okay, I love that, but maybe just a quick little reminder, disclaimer, if you will, that I am no expert, but I have thoughts and I'm not afraid to share them. So I guess I'll give the best advice I can. But like, if I tell you to jump off a bridge, please don't do it. I can't wait for these nuggets of gold from Caitlin.

I wonder what we should name it. We should do, like, advice from KB. That doesn't really have a nice ring to it. but Kate's take or WWKBD, like what would Caitlin Bristow do? I don't know. Maybe the Vinoes could tell me. We could put up like a poll or questionnaire on the Off the Vine podcast page and then they could tell me what the segment should be called.

They're always coming up with like the most clever ideas. Sometimes I think they're more clever than I am and they should be doing what I do. Like I'm like, you guys are good. Yeah, you'll be fine as long as you just don't tell people to jump off bridges. I think that's. My mom always said that growing up. would be like, well, my friends are doing it. And my mom would always say, well, if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?

And I'd be like, no. So now I'm like, if I give you advice and it backfires, please don't come after me. We'll get our legal team on it. Don't worry. Perfect. Okay. So our first voicemail today is Taylor from Houston, Texas. I'm going to play the voicemail for you.

Okay. Hey, Caitlin. It is Taylor. I am from Houston, Texas. I just wanted to say that I'm also getting married. my wedding is in April so if you have any wedding advice that maybe I haven't thought of yet or I guess by first up let me know I hope you have a great day and uh love you um cute Taylor from Houston but I have all for you for wedding advice

this is going so well so far perfect wow what a great segment um it sucks because I'm like the worst planner of anything that's why I I have like my off the vine team and the Spade and Spade and Sparrow's team. Like I can I can give you some creative ideas if I knew more about her. But like for me to give wedding advice, I'm like, I don't know, have someone else do it for you. Like definitely get a wedding planner. That's my advice. Get a wedding planner and have someone else do it for you.

Unless you're the planning type and you like to do that, then kudos to you. But Taylor, I don't know much about you. But if you'd like to follow up on this, tell me like five things that I would need to know about you. write to us five things that we need to know about you and I'm going to tell you some creative ideas that you can do for your wedding that would make it very unique and special to yourself. There you go.

Also, congrats to you, our April coming up. Yes, congrats. April is, oh, wow, that's really coming up. Yeah, okay, well, hopefully you're already on it because it's coming up soon. Kieland, do you think you'll have your wedding in 2022? Yes, 2022. Yes, I do. Yes, okay, still on track for 2020.

It's still on track, but I'm like, oh, it's already February, so I better get on it. Well, I mean, we're doing what we can. We're doing what we can right now. Yes. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. Okay.

Should we play the next one? Yeah. Okay. Hi there. My name's Kelly. I'm 24, almost 25. I live in D.C., yeah, Canada. Anyways, I've got a great job, and my life is okay, but I'm just really safe.

struggling right now almost turning 25 with a job but like single and kind of lonely and not exactly happy with where I am in life um so I just love some advice what to do like should I think what I'm doing take a break like I just don't know um but lots of advice my favorite my favorite wine gal from Canada um yeah thanks bye Oh, that was so cute because at first she started all nervous and giggly and then I was like, oh, she means that she really does want advice on that. So I'm not going to be funny because I feel like I could feel her pain. But I always wish that I could like fast forward their life. Like they could look into the future and be like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I was worried about this at 25. But Kelly, you know if you listen to this podcast that I say 27 is a pivotal year for women. So I would say you're already on the right track by thinking at 24 years old. you want to be doing like are you supposed to be sticking to what you're doing right now are you supposed to dream bigger i would say youtube the buried life ben nempton speaking event and how he talks about like what you want to do before you die um i find that very inspiring and i would say at your

age don't put so much pressure on yourself because you have so much time 27 is a pivotal year for women so you still have like two years to figure out who you are but you're going to just figure it out so much more at the age of 27. Okay, I'm trying to sound like somewhat smart, not like an idiot, and it's not working for me right now. But I feel like, you're doing great. 25 is just so young. Like, when I was 25, I had no money. I had none. Like, I was excited if I could buy a coffee and I was serving at a restaurant and I didn't know what the heck I wanted to do and I didn't know who I was. And I was like, oh, whatever. Like, I'll figure it out. I feel like you have to have this attitude of like every day you're going to you're going to get to know yourself

a little bit better date yourself take yourself on dates write journals like try and learn who you are because if you're already wanting to know that by 25 when you hit 27 and then 28 if you're already working on that you're going to be so ahead of the game like I would like you to set a calendar invite for three years from now on this exact day and write me or like leave me a voicemail get somehow get in touch with me three years from now on this exact day of where you're at in your life but i want you to watch a ben nempton video i want you to write down in your journal like once a week things that you want to learn about yourself what your passions are who you are and i want you to like really work on being okay on your own and loving yourself because being lonely doesn't

have to be a bad thing it can actually be a really great thing and that's my advice really can i add one thing yeah okay this really helps you me is like having one year like if you're you're having the cycles of saying yes to everything do all the things live all the experiences like that your 20s are the time to really get to like just do it all and then you learn so much about yourself and what you like to do what you don't so that's like I feel like an easy one just say yes to everything so easy yes man unless someone tells you to do drugs exactly very good point but maybe okay let's do that let's set her a goal for like on this day, February 3rd, every year, you have to have something like written out or what you've done to work on yourself and look back on it and see how far you've come every year.

And in three years when you're 28 and you've gone through 27, which I always think is pivotal, I really want like an essay on where you're at and what you've done and who you are compared to three years ago. Yes. I like that. That's good. Yeah. You're giving action items. Action items. Okay.

amazing. Should we, should we do the next one? Hey, Caitlin. My name's Chloe. I'm 29 and I'm from New Jersey. I have a question for you. I'm wondering how you try to balance friendships that are unequal in efforts, you know, sometimes relationships that you put more effort in or the other person puts more effort in. But how do you kind of balance that for yourself? Thanks so much. Love you. Bye. Aw. Love you too. Wait, that's a really great question because I feel like the only reason I've kept the friends in my life that I have is because there is such a good balance.

So if there's not, you've got to really reevaluate that friendship. I feel like people are so different. Like the way Cleo would show me love and a friendship is going to be different from the way I'd show her love. But there has to be a balance of like give and take in the friendship. So it depends how shitty this friend is or if they're actually really great and they just don't have balance in their life. But I would say you've got to reevaluate the friendship and have it open honest conversation with them because the worst that could happen is that you avoid it and then you keep feeling like your tank is empty in the friendship. So if you just like sit down and have a conversation, take them for a glass of wine or a coffee or whatever you like to do and be like, I just want to understand you better as a friend. Is there something that I'm not doing?

Like what's the give and take here? I think obviously I'm going to always say that honesty is the best policy. but also again re-evaluating that friendship and I think sometimes friendships like the relationship ebbs and flows kind of like a relationship with your significant other it goes through ups and downs and lefts and rights and I think you just have to maybe dig a little deeper into that friend too maybe they're going through something is this like them is this consistent in their life that they don't give and take like they should or is it like something that you should be concerned about maybe they're going through something.

So I would just have like a really nice, vulnerable, open conversation with them and figure out how you can get on the same page. That was gorgeous. That was gorgeous. Gorgeous girls give gorgeous advice. Gorgeous girls give very mediocre advice. That's good advice.

So I'm not one to shy away from the fact that definitely have had some feelings of insecurity and self-doubt before, especially when it comes to love. I was on The Bachelor and Bachelorette after all. Well, the upcoming movie, musical Serrano centers on a heartbreaking love triangle plagued by insecurity, something many of us can relate to, and I cannot wait to see it in theaters February 25th. So Serrano is adapted

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a musical with a completely original score by Bryce and Aaron Dessner, members of the band The National. Serrano has been receiving rave reviews, and people are saying Peter Dinkage gives a career-defining performance. So I cannot wait to see it in theaters. Don't miss Serrano, only in movie theaters, February 25th, learn more at Serrano.movie. This Valentine's and Galentine's Day season, we're so happy that our friends at Merrill are helping us spend it outside with our gal pals. We'll be hiking in our bravadas and mobs, from Merrill, and I can't think of a better way to soak up some sunshine and fresh air to take care of ourselves and our gals. I mean, who doesn't love a hot girl walk with our friends in

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with Eye Gaming Ontario. Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. Okay, this next one's pretty long. It's a one-minute voicemail. but I think this is a really good question. Okay. Caitlin, I'm shaking right now because you might hear this, and I'm literally shaking because I'm like your biggest fan.

So we actually have the same birthday, June 19th, Gemini babies. I'm just so excited because you literally are my idol and you've helped me through so much in my life. Anyways, I just have two questions. The first one is, what helps you not care what other people think? I love your personality. A lot of people say we're very similar. People are like, yeah, you are like Caitlin Bristow, and it's the best condiment ever.

So I want more advice on how to not care what other people think, because I do tend to do that. And then also, what's the best advice you can give someone who's single like me on how to find myself a Jason? You guys are the cutest couple. You inspire me in always. I'm pursuing my dreams because of you, and I just love you. Okay, bye. what a freaking cutie oh that's really sweet okay first of all i do care what people think but only the right people and i think that's important to think about you have to care about the right people and what

they think of you because that means like i obviously care what jason thinks of me because i want him to love me and trust me and have faith in me and respect me but like if it was a stranger who I don't even know and who I don't care about and if they have their opinions of me but really they only know me from social media then I really don't give a shit what they think about me because they don't know me.

So I would say, I mean, if people are telling you that you are like Caitlin Bristow, one, you probably are doing a good job at not caring what people think. And two, I feel like what other people think of you is none of your business. I just feel like if you know you're being true to yourself, And obviously, I live by that quote of Kurt Cobain.

I say all the time, love Kurt Cobain, 90s grunge baby over here. But you'd rather be hated for who you are than love for somebody that you're not. So if you're just being yourself, then it doesn't matter what other people think about you. As long as you're just being a good human, you're being authentic to yourself. And you know what? Those who don't care about you actually do. They care a lot. So you know what?

As long as the people who you have in your corner, love you, I think that's all that matters. There is a philosopher, and I really can't remember his name. I think it was Marcus something. But he said, we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own, which is so true, but so sad. And so I think you just can't let other people influence who you are.

And I think that starts to happen. If you care what other people think, it's going to change who you are and influence who you are. And you can be anyone in this world, so why wouldn't you be yourself or be? Beyonce. And you know, she had a part two of her question, too. How does she find herself a Jason? First of all, I would like to say that you don't need to find a Jason. You don't need to find anyone that everybody is going to be okay on their own if they don't find a person. But I will say,

also remember that on social media and podcasting and everything that we put out there, it's always our best life. So I think you have to go into a relationship, being okay with having healthy arguments, disagreeing on things. not putting out the perfect picture of like what a relationship looks like and not comparing it to what you see on social media. I think Jason and I have a pretty healthy relationship, but we go through ups and downs too. We just don't put them all out there. So if you want to find a healthy relationship, I would say obviously you have to, one, do therapy, two, fall in love with yourself. And three, just like you know in your gut if you meet somebody who is going to

respect you. I think you can tell by the way they treat other people, by the way they treat their friends, by who their friends are, how they are with their family. Like, you can really figure out a lot about a person in like a week. And as long as you feel like this person's going to respect you and that you respect yourself more than anything, then you're going to find yourself adjacent. I like it. Okay, so Vino's. If you hear some of these questions in your little ear holes and it sparks a thought from the depths of your brain, then please call 434-696. 8466 and share it. I'll try and give my best advice.

Sometimes it might be funny. Sometimes it might be serious. Sometimes it might be stupid. Sometimes it might be life-altering, okay? No, and I think you actually did a really good job giving advice. So really? Yes. Yes.

Oh, okay. That's cool. Sometimes I feel like I'm not that deep, but I can be. Oh, you can be for sure. I think all your years of therapy are going to be just very helpful for the segment of your podcast. Yeah, for real. And then we actually had a couple people leave voicemail sharing confessions, which I also think people need to do because these are so fun to listen to. So this person wants to stay anonymous.

So we're going to bleep out their name, but here is the next voicemail. Oh, it should be good. Hey, Caitlin. My name is B. But I have a really good confession for you that I think you'll get a kick out of. So it's kind of ironic because I'm driving right now to Michigan. but one time I was driving to Michigan to visit my family, and I all of a sudden started getting an upset tummy.

So I was looking for the nearest rest stop to go to the bathroom, and it kind of sucks because I had my daughter with me, and also my dog, Anna, who's an Australian Shepherd, and I really needed poop. And every single exit was an exit to, like, get on a different highway. It wasn't to anywhere that would take me to a gas station to relieve myself. And so I had this great idea at some point because I had to go and I had to go now. I had my daughter's toilet, her potty training toilet, in the trunk of my car. And so I was like, well, if I pull that out, I can put it in the front seat.

Like, I'll sit on it and I'll poop, like, and then I'll just, like, have to wipe it off on the side of the road. So I'm on the highway. I pull off on the side. I grab it. I barely make it. And I realized that I did not position it correctly. And I poop everywhere. It was all up my back, all down my legs, all on the feet, everything. So here I am covered in poop. And I have to get out, obviously, on the driver's side to, like, clean myself up. So I get out, I grab the basin of that toilet, whatever. and I'm on the, I go around to the other side to the passenger side, and I'm trying to clean up. I'm naked from my waist down on the side of the highway, like wiping my ass, changing my clothes, and my dog jumps into the driver's side seat, get pooped all over her, all over the rest of the car, and, I mean, yeah, it was really freaking funny. Well, I think it was funny at the time, but it was really pretty funny afterwards that I shit my pants while sitting on a toilet and then had to proceed to stand naked on the side of the highway and white poop off of myself and then finish my drive, which I still had like two hours left up. I hope you do. It's a lot of that. Bye.

Oh, wow, that's really shitty. It just kept going. And it's like, oh, I love that she can laugh about it, but I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm, like, freaking out for her because you just think of the aftermath of that. Like, how did you clean it up? Did you have to take it to the car wash and, like, do it yourself or did you, like, oh, boy. And the smell for two hours, I would just vomit the rest of the way back. I feel like moms just, like, are not phased by anything. Once they have a kid, they're just like, well, I shit my pants. all at my back and my legs and the dogs covered in it. So, you know, that's what it is.

That's super unfortunate. I'm really sorry that you had to go through that anonymous person. Okay, we have one more confession. I don't know if this can follow that up, but we'll see. Hey, Caitlin, I have a story that will hopefully make you smile. So years ago, my sister and I had a dog named Teddy and it was a black dog and he came in from being outside and was itching his belly really bad. So we went and looked and it looked like he had ticks all over his body, like little brown spots on his body. So we held him down and got the tweezers and tried to remove the ticks, but he was just too agitated. So we decided to take him to the vet to have them do it. So we take him into the vet and the vet examines him and says, you see how there's three dots on this side and

three dots on that side. Those are not ticks. Those are teets. We were literally trying to remove my dog's nipples with tweezers. It felt terrible. Anyway, you are killing it, girls. Love you. Have a good day. Bye-bye. Not what you want to hear on dog. Oh, my gosh. Wait, that kills me that she was like, so anyways, we were trying to remove my dog's nipples with tweezers. Hope you have a great day. traumatized over here. I'm like, I'm like, I need two to three business days to process what you just told me and you're telling me to have a great day. Like, I'm fucking. He moves on very quickly.

Yeah. I'm like, um, okay. Is your dog okay? Uh, did you do serious damage? Like, of course you seem to agitated. Oh, the poor dog. Oh, my gosh. well that's that's what i've never heard a great day that's what i've never heard and i will not have a great day after that thank you jesus oh my goodness oh my god clio i love how you're like not on golden retriever day everybody know that today is national golden retriever day so i know my dogs are listening shout out to be so sorry they had to hear that last story gosh on today of all days Shout out to Bino and Roman. My dogs. Oh my gosh.

I get to see them in one week because I'll be performing in Nashville. I only get to see them for like two hours. But I think like I don't think I could ever leave them again after this. This is one and done no more. Yeah. I'm like I think because I did two back-to-back Bachelorette seasons and then this and I'm like, okay, what am I doing? They are my children. And your tour.

Yeah. And my tour. Oh, my tour. Oh, my God. So it really was from one to the other to the next. So now you just need a few months at home. Well, shout out to Jason for being a great golden retriever dad because he's always taken the best of them. COVID-19, look, it's not going away anytime soon. And unfortunately, it's almost everywhere you look right now.

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Okay, so there's just one more voicemail for you. This one took me by surprise. I think you'll like this one. Okay. Hello, Caitlin. This is your dad calling. Everything's going just fine. I just called to say I love you.

We'll talk soon. Bye. Oh, my God. Did he just call into the hotline? Yeah. He has your number, but he decided that he wanted to use the off the line hotline. Oh. I love him so much.

Angel dad. Wait, what a sweetie. It always scares me that he's going to listen to some of these podcasts. Well, I mean, they haven't been as Raji. I'll never forget Alexis Finley talking about how she was like queffing and like making her vagina fart. And I was like, dad, please don't listen to my podcast. But now I'm like, okay, it's fine. So now he'll just hear that story right after he professes left to you on this podcast. Gosh. Oh, what a sweet angel man. I honestly, so it was my dad's. AA birthday last night. And so I was on the Zoom with him and obviously I can't say too much because it's people's privacy. But it was just, it's always, I always try and join his AA birthdays and it's just so nice to hear the way people speak so highly of my dad because I know I think that highly of him. And he's just like, I always think like, how lucky am I to have had a dad like that my whole

life growing up? Like I just feel so lucky. And he always says like, well, it's because of this meeting. like I wouldn't be where I am or who I am and he's been sober for 32 years. So it's really all I've known of him is to be this incredible human who's like just learned so many life lessons and like had the support of AA and it's just he's just the best person I've ever met. And every single person on that Zoom last night was like, he is the best person I've ever met.

And I'm like, that's my dad. Oh, that's amazing. Well, he cheers to Mike 32 years. Cheers with our green juice and coffee. Oh, yes. Isn't it so? 27 years and AA and then 32 years sober. That's incredible.

No, he is the sweetest. Like, he is incredible. Oh, bye. The fact that he just called and said, oh my gosh. And you know he's doing it because he's seeing it on your social and wants to support in every single way and everything you do. So he's like, this is like his way of just always showing up. Dude, I did an Instagram saying, Jason, I love your personality. but that dick is a nice bonus.

And my dad liked the photo. That's support. That's... I remember seeing that post and I was like, double take. I did it for shock value. I was like, look, I know Jason's parents follow me and my parents, but like,

I saw it on a mug or something and I was like, that is so something I would say and I'm just going to put it out there. It was so funny. Right away, I was like, Dale, this is all I could think. She commented on it. She put like an emotion.

where she was like covering her ears and I'm like blame the mug Dale I saw it on a mug she's come a long way she has come a long way oh bless her that's incredible oh what a little angel are you ready to do some prank calling oh let's prank call it up yeah it was so fun I don't know if anyone missed it Caitlin ended up prank calling this one of the Vino's husband literally making him buy spade and sparrows for but he was a great He had already bought the wine for his wife. So I have one for you. Morgan called and wants you to call her friend Hannah about being a foot model.

There must be some kind of inside story here. Are you ready to call Hannah? Yes. Oh, my gosh. If she says yes, I feel like we then need to three-way Andrew. Wait, so I have a voicemail from Morgan. Oh, okay, perfect. Okay, let's get some background info here.

hi katelyn so this is super random but i listened to your live show with andrew spencer and then i heard your prank phone call thing on the last podcast and i thought it would just be so funny to prank my friend hannah uh so she used to make fun of my feet in college and i just thought it would be too funny if you called her to get back at her saying that she was submitted to be a foot model and how you love the pictures that you saw that were sent to you, and you're wondering if she would be interested in foot modeling as a career. So she's currently a nurse in New York, and, like, literally the best person I've ever met. She's also one of your fans, so I think it'd be super fun for her to get a prank phone call from you.

My name's Morgan, and her name is Hannah, and her number is... Okay, thanks so much, Kieran. Okay, I'm going to call. Yes. Okay, star six, seven. She might be busy like saving lives because she's a nurse, but at the very least, you need a, we need a voicemail. Okay. Hello?

Oh, I'm looking for Hannah. Hi, this is Hannah. Hannah, hi. It's Karen from the foot agent. agency in New York. We're actually calling because somebody has submitted pictures of your feet to be a foot model, and we loved what we saw. I'm wondering if you had time for a Zoom call in the next four days. Oh, I'm sorry, pictures. What? Of your feet to be a foot model? I don't know about that. Are you sure you have the right number?

this is Hannah you're a nurse yes no I have the right number I'm not so sure about that you have not do you have pictures of your feet out there not that I'm aware of

you know I'm obviously like on social media but I hope no one would like take my pictures or something and submit them to your facility. Oh, okay. I apologize because somebody has done that. And it's actually really great money if you're interested. But if this is...

How are you able to know that they're my feet? Well, because we see you in the photo as well. Oh, it's a full body. I can't do this to you anymore. It's Caitlin Bristow and Morgan told me to prank call you. Oh, my God. I was just freaking out. oh my god i was starting to feel so bad i was like oh god she's like feels violated and it's just me i'm so sorry

that was you're just busy saving lives and i'm prank calling you about being a foot model oh my i'm so sorry but that that was i was i could have kept going all day there oh no i'm being exploited for my feet oh my gosh well if you feel the need to send me a picture of your foot. I'd love to post it on social media. Just kidding. Oh, okay. Amazing. Send it into your friend Morgan. By the way, she says you're one of the best people she's ever met. So thank you for playing along. Oh, thank you. Of course. Okay, send us a picture of your feet. Okay, bye. Okay. Bye. What would you have done if she had been like very interested in the opportunity? I didn't think that one through. If she did, I would have been like, I love you and I'm going to pay you for a

picture of your feet just I would have paid her I would have paid her for her feet if she was my favorite part of that whole call it pays really good money no my favorite is that I said Karen from the foot agency that's Karen from the very creative oh my gosh and I like stuttered too I was like from the foot industry that's like brick from Anchorman was like where did you get those pants, the toilet store, that was me. The foot industry? Oh my God. I think people need to call in and ask you to prank their friends because that's my favorite

thing that you've ever done. Oh, my gosh. My stomach hurts. The poor thing, she was like, how did you get pictures of my feet? I'm like, no, she's like, how do you know it's me? Well, we saw your face. Oh, my gosh. She really was so sweet.

That was really good. I'm very happy about that prank call. I really could have gone even longer, but like the poor thing you could tell she was at work and she was just like, I think a little bothered by it. And I'm like, I can't do it any longer. I would be bothered too. I'd be like, I'd be like Googling the foot agency. Like nothing comes up. Darren?

Wait, I'm Googling this. Yeah, I was just going to say, yeah, what comes up. And is there a Karen that works there? Well, look at that. There is a foot agency. Oh, my gosh. That is funny. Barefoot model and talent agency, full service down.

Oh, my God. It reminds me of when Joey on Friends, he wants to be a hand model. And he finds his hand twin. And then he's like, this hand is my hand. No, wait, it's your hand. No, wait, it's my hands. Oh, my God. Joey.

You should submit Andrew's feet to win these agencies. Oh, my. They'd be like, don't call us. We'll call you never. Why don't murder you. Did you see last night on Instagram he was wearing a big wine guy's sweater? And it was like a crop top on him. He was like, he was like, everybody's asking me for a link for the sweater.

I was like, yes. Croped off. Yeah. He's the best. Yeah. So funny. Oh, my gosh. That was fun.

Oh, that was really fun. Hannah, good sport. Can't wait to see her feet. Everyone can rate them on social media. Rate your feet one to ten. She is going to send them. No, I really believe she will. Yeah, me too.

We don't have to know who she is. I won't tag her. I won't show her face. Just show her feet. No, not like the picture she submitted. with her face in them, with her feet. She's like, I guess I have social media. Oh my God, the poor thing.

Is that what she said? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, that's really cute. I guess it's possible. I guess it's possible. I do have social media. You could have social media and somebody could be scrolling and like zoom into your foot and send a new new fear unlocked, I think.

Yeah, seriously. Oh, that's hilarious. Well, my feet are on the internet, so there you go. Okay, well, I'm glad that you're like in these prank calls, so we'll make sure to keep adding some of these. Madison and I also had another idea. We'll pitch it to you here on the podcast, but you can say, yay or nay, or even get the Vinoes to chime in here.

But wait, Madison, do you want to explain what we were thinking? I feel like you'll be better at explaining it. Okay, so I live in San Diego right now, but my husband and I, are temporarily moving to this small town in upstate New York because that's where some of our friends and family are. So we're driving across the country. We leave in a couple weeks. And the town that we're going to be in is actually where Paul Rudd lives. So really small town. So we were thinking that, you know, obviously like we were planning on going just for like

personal reasons to be by family. But I think like the goal has kind of shifted. And now our goal is to try to find Paul for you. Yes. He, you know, he has a candy store in this town. So I'm going to drive across the country and I'm going to go to this candy store every few days to try to find him and get him on the podcast. Oh, my gosh. Operation Paul Rudd on OTV starts now.

And I feel like we could, you know, candy store is one. But like we could use anybody's help. If anyone's connected, Caitlin's. And then, like, I don't know, I feel like you can, like, we can randomly call some people that we think could lead us one step closer. I just think it would be so incredible if we can get him on your podcast. You would just be fabulous. That is my new goal, except I would be so nervous because he is my crush. And oh my gosh, okay, this is going to happen.

This is my new thing I'm manifesting. You're obviously driving across the country to make this happen. You know, how like Ellen took it took her forever to get George Clefell. Looney's attention. Do you remember when she used to do that? And she finally got him. That's like me. It's my I mean, it's between Justin Bieber and Paul Rudd, but I'm going to go Paul Rudd on this one.

And that's, it's going to happen. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited. It is. It's going to happen and I feel like you have to manifest it for 2020. Okay. Done. Happening this year, Paul Red on Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Oh my gosh. Even if it's just for a 15 minute segment

where we prank call somebody. That's a great one. It doesn't have to be a full hour. We're calling at Operation PD, OTV. Wait, PD, PR. Oh, what is wrong with me? This is right with OTV, so it sounded nice. Okay, Operation.

Let's just do that. Operation Polly on OTV. I don't know. Because her name's Dolley, her name's Doll. Dolly is going to go find Polly. Her name's Dolly Parton. That's what I named her. For real?

Yeah. Dolly's going to find Polly. Yeah. And we are going to. Oh, yeah. Dolly's going to find Polly. Yes. Okay. I'm really good about this, you guys.

Operation. We're going to go get him. Operation Dolly Polly. Dally Polly. Kay, I love it. Oh my gosh. I love this idea. I feel like this is a perfect way to just wrap this show.

Like, what else is there? talk about. Nothing, actually. After that, I'm like, I got to go. I got to go put this out into the universe. Bye. You got to work on your manifestation. It doesn't just happen.

I'm putting this out on paper. I'm going to write this one down. I'm going to print out a picture of Paul. And he's going to have headphones on with a microphone. And I'm going to look at it every day, like the creep that I am. Yeah, I'm going to go pack up the van and get ready. Are you actually doing that? Yeah.

Oh, wow. It wasn't like originally four. Paul, but yes. But now it is. Yes, now we have a new mission. Our priorities have shifted and now it is for Paul. Right. Okay, well, everybody, you heard it here.

Put out the Paul Rudd vibes, message him in any way you can. You write it down. You print out creepy pictures of him. Let's make this happen. And you know what, Madison? That is, that is, I'm going to give you a raise for your producer role for this one. That's commitment. Commitment to the brand. I respect it.

Yeah. All right. We're going to see you next week. Doodles. I'm Kate Emberstow. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

Who's done with OTV? Hey, Kitty Gang. I'm Kail Lowry. And I'm Lindsay Crissly. Come join us for coffee combos every Thursday. It's spirit of discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. We share our real life experiences trying to balance it all and the issues that we face daily. We don't always agree with how we each handle it. And we definitely rant about the frustrations.

But we always have a great convo and hopefully learn something by the end of it. So listen to and follow coffee combos now at Apple Podcasts, Spotify. podcast one or wherever you get your podcasts.