Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Oh For Sure! With Haley Bristowe

Episode Date: May 31, 2018

Kaitlyn and her sister Haley break down the new season of the Bachelorette, reminisce about Kaitlyn's infamous limo entrance, and share some sisterly love. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question, drink to your confessions, and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Okay, Thursday, what's up? Welcome to Grape Therapy. Your session is now starting. I'm in L-Duke, Alberta, L-A-L-A, L-A, L-A, L-A, L-Ducke, Alberta. I'm with my sister.

It's her birthday. Happy birthday, you old fart. I am old. No, you're not. You're still in your 30s. 40s are the new 30s. God, I hate when people say that. I know, I do too.

And then they're like, you know, 50s. And mom's like 60s are the new 30s. mom's like six days are the new 20s so okay so I surprised you today y'all did you really y'all I meant to warn people this is going to be the most Canadian sounding podcast and I've had other Canadians on my sister is the most Canadian of all the Canadians

you've been pointing that out all day but it's so funny to me now because never obviously I was never living in the States but now I'm like you always go oh for sure oh I know hey like it's hilarious no it's it's just it's like I don't hate it

I love it it's just so funny that I'm so aware of it now yeah because people used to call me out for it all day every day now I'm so aware and I call you out

pick up you have you have picked up like a different accent a little bit too because I'm probably trying too hard to go the other way probably

oh I know eh oh yeah oh yeah for sure for sure Oh, for sure. Dad does it too. Actually, mom's not very Canadian sounding,

which I find strange. Yeah, that is strange. You think you. You and dad. Soup's Canadian. So I thought we would do a little Bachelorette breakdown. I've been finding it so hard to come up with content twice a week.

Now, thank God the Bachelorette's back on. What do you think about that? Should we do it? It's do her. I don't like doing the damn thing. I don't like that scene. But, I mean, I'm like, You can tell she's really aware of that.

Oh, yeah. She's very aware of it. She's so aware of it. So now she's like, let's, let's, uh, let's, uh, get the ball rolling. Let's, uh, let's, uh, get this party started. She's like any like, any other saying, but. Anything but. Let's do the damn thing.

Yeah. Which I really madly have respect for that she's catching herself. Yes. And that, yeah. Catching her on her catchphrase and just trying to like really like dance. around it. It's really funny. Okay. So obviously we have to start with the fact that I was on this episode. Yes, you were. Or was I? Was my mic off? Is this thing on? Is it? Check, mic check one, two. Audio, were you sleeping that day?

Because I'm pretty sure. They just edited you out. No, that's what I mean. I'm pretty sure I talked the entire time. Of course you did. Yeah. I'm not a quiet. I was like three mimosas deep. I ain't quiet. I was watching being like, okay, I must have a good, like, couple. Oh, you did. I guess I did. They took the best line you probably said. No. That's hilarious.

It was stupid, though. So? I'm like, no, I don't know why we're lighting a big doobie. But, okay, so I talked the whole time, gave her great advice, actually. We opened up this bachelor, Bachelorette Bible. We all wrote down advice. I told her, if Nick comes on your season, just say no. which she kind of did with a with a guy she did um but i had so i talked the whole time and then i was

like is this a little shade like is this a little petty or as was i i'm i don't know or am i you know i was third on the couch next year i won't be on the couch it'll be you're making your way off yeah exactly it'll be be be Becca rachel and jojo next time and i will be off the couch so maybe i should just appreciate my time while last you should absolutely and you you looked hot. Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks. Well, you did I? Yeah, you really did. Thanks. I tried really hard. Did you? I flew in on a red eye. Ew. Had 10 minutes to pick out an outfit and threw my hair together. And then I had Emma Willis do my makeup because she's awesome. Nice. Yeah, she really made me look alive. And Loe von Rumpf, who styles me, he really made me look alive too. Oh, he's so great. Uh, so yeah, my one line

of the whole show. I'm so proud. Well, because I'm like, okay, I didn't, I mean, I understood what saging does that like takes away the bad juju, but I'm like, why does it look like a ginormous doobie? And that's the one line they used. But that's one of the biggest sage dubies I've ever seen. Oh, it was? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, okay. Yeah, but anyways. I've never seen one that big before. Apparently, my mic was off. Cool, ABC. Well, you looked good. So, yeah, screw them.

Screw it. Okay. Haven't we all been a part of a relationship where you feel so strongly, at least at some point, thought it was going to go somewhere, but it didn't end up working out? I actually, I mean, we're there. I've talked about my relationship in Germany for a little while and moved to Germany, kind of had to follow his career. I ended up feeling like I was just living somebody else's life the whole time.

I started really losing myself and you guys know me, got a big personality. a lot to offer. So sitting in Germany not being able to speak the same language, work, have much of a social life, it was really tough. So it ended up not working for, I mean, obviously it wasn't the right guy either. But I felt so lost when I left Germany and had to start my life over and really had to kind of pick myself up off the ground. So I was like, you know what?

I'm independent. I've got this. I'm still young, I rely on friends, my family, I gained courage to go on The Bachelor, and you know what? It worked out. And it reminds me of this amazing new show that I just watched called American Women on the Paramount Network, and it's premiering June 7th. The show is set in the 1970s, Beverly Hills, during the Free Love Revolution.

It stars My Girl Alicia Silverstone as Bonnie Nolan, a mother and wife of prominent businessmen, who she soon finds out is cheating on her. I actually get so mad when I see cheating on TV, but that's how you know the show is good. The real crazy part for me is knowing that it's actually based on a true story. The show also stars Mina Savari and Jennifer Bartles as her two best friends. The show is super, super relatable, watching Bonnie have to pick herself up, divorce her husband,

and then setting off for bigger, better things. I mean, we weren't married or anything, but it reminded me of myself in so many ways. The feeling that you just have to start from scratch and then remembering that life is about growth and this only makes me stronger. So seriously, ladies, seeing Bonnie claim her independence had me yelling at the TV screen, Yass Quayne.

So, you know, I remember back when I went for it, I was working at a restaurant, I was teaching spin classes, I was dancing, and I decided to pursue the bachelor. It doesn't matter who tries to hold you back. You know, I actually almost missed going on the bachelor for a friend's wedding, but I had to believe in myself and just go for it.

So what about you guys? Have you had a story like this where you picked yourselves up? I really want to hear your experiences, so let me do this. I just posted the poster on my Off the Vine podcast Instagram page so you guys can leave me a comment about your story and tell me how you've overcome your obstacle and I might mention you on the upcoming pod. We women need to stick together and I'd love to see our stories inspire someone else

to take that step in bettering their life. So make sure to check out American Women's, and you can watch the pilot now on paramount network.com. The show premieres June 7th on the Paramount Network. Okay, so Becca, oh gosh, her dress. Oh, wow. You know what? They've been ranking the dresses of all seasons,

and I've been really going strong on number one, but I might have to give this one to Becca. Yeah, she looked amazing. It was a Carrie Fetman, shout out to you, he dresses all the leads. Amazing choice, amazing jewelry. Becca looked stunning. Shout out to, I'm just trying to give all these shoutals.

Shout out to Gina, who does the makeup. Everything, she just looked like a real vision, you know. She was a vision in white. Your beauty. Yeah. And I get what she was doing. Totally. I'm all innocent.

My white dress. We'll see about that, Becca, if that is your real name. Anyways. Yeah, loved her dress. She looked amazing. She did. Let's dive right into the men. Let's do it.

Because that's what we're here to talk about. We are here for the. for the right reasons gosh a gag every time i'm like i'm like beckon he said tone it down a little bit on the like fed lines yeah i think she already said her husband was in the room oh yeah she said journey she said um right right reasons wrong reasons but god got to forgive her because she's not saying do the damn thing okay so let's just start naming the guys let's get through it but we don't have to name the no the forgettable ones yeah no like Can we start with, well, because Garrett, I know, he's first on my list too.

He is number one for me. Yeah. Definite number one. Why? Because he's funny. And he's a fisherman. And you have a thing for fishermen. What?

I don't know. You gave me a look like and you're like, oh, he's a fisherman. Do we like fishermen? Yeah. They're sexy. They're like outdoorsy, rugged. Yeah. I like it.

I like his vibe, though. He did a Chris Farley impression. He's amazing. Yeah. His like little hometown, not hometown package, like opening package where they only select a few guys to show at the beginning. Yeah. He did a Chris Farley. He was hilarious.

Yeah. We lo-el'd. Oh, L-M-F-A-O. Oh, wow. If I may be so bold. Doon do do do do do do ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding to do that's what that reminds me of Yeah well we did because it well yeah it was funny it was good and he nailed the impression you did Okay no he wait I had a funny joke to me here oh okay he was great oh yeah that was bad and he did the minivan

That was cute yes he did yes he did yes he did you sure yes he did the minivan and he was like I just wanted to like show her yeah yeah yeah he was really cute I liked him and he got the first impression rose he did and he deserved it I think he really I was surprised is this the same guy yes Haley no you are you thinking about the guy that you have like the biggest crush on Colton yeah no no Garrett yeah okay okay uh he got the first impression yeah he yeah and we were so pumped because we thought Blake was going to get it and when Garrett did we're like oh yeah Yes, Becca, yes, yes, queen, Becca.

He's going to be top four for sure. Oh, for sure, top four, eh? Okay, who else? Let's talk about Jordan for a bit. Okay. Oh, God. Jordan, the male model, who's all about the fashion. I'm going to say it.

He's my favorite guy on the season so far. Stop it. No, I'm not kidding. Just because, why? because he's great TV. Yeah. He says Jordanisms is what I'm going to call it. Like nonstop.

I don't even know what the hell he's talking about. Me neither, but it's funny because he thinks he knows what he's talking about. He sounds like he's like in his mind, he thinks he's so intelligent. But what's coming out is I'm like, I don't, I'm not sure what you're referring to. No, it doesn't, it doesn't refer to the situation that he's in. Yeah, no, it's not in the right context. Not even at all. I'm not even sure what it's like.

He was, he was saying. it like it that's why it's jordanism like i do these things all the time i think i'm saying something like worst case ontario that's actually from trailer park boys but whatever like he thinks he's saying something that makes sense and it makes no sense at all and it's awesome to watch it is so like it makes me cringe at the same time like cringe cringe but turn it into a cringe laugh because i do think if you look at it the right way i'm sure everyone at home right now hates jordan and they're cringing but you got to watch him just for good TV because you got to think

there's no drunk people on this season because they got like a two drink limit on the show now which wow I'm so glad they didn't have that on yours thank God because that would have been a whole other season so true but it's just crazy because I'm like so he's the he's the entertainment

so Jordan to me if everyone could just take a step back and re-look at how you watch the show fair and watch Jordan and find him as the comedic relief okay

okay because it's good it's gold and I know the producers love it oh oh for sure okay I'll stop people call me out on the podcast for doing that too like my guess because I go oh all the time yeah okay

okay this Jean Blanc oh yeah he's like a big fragrance guy big fragrance guy this one smells like high school that's what he said is that what he said yeah he said that i kind of get that though hawaiian ginger exclamation yeah remember that i think that was more junior wow it's lightning out like hardcore really yeah oh you just scare me look behind me like you saw a ghost um yeah i kind of get that smells like high school because i there's an air freshener and a specific like CVS shoppers drug mart body spray

CVS is the American. Oh, okay. Okay. It's Canadian. Um, but anyways, needless to say, we don't talk about that on the show. No. Why are we talking about the fragrance? We don't care.

No. And then they put in, oh, he smells really good at the end of when he met her. For sure. For sure. But I guarantee she said that about somebody else and they're like, ooh, let's edit her to say. Good material. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, that flowed for sure. But I cancel him. I cancel Jean Blanc. You sound like a wine. You sound like a nice, fine French wine. A Jean-Cinn and Blanc. But I cancel him. You cancel him.

Yeah, send him. Send him. Except I think send it means you're going for it. I don't know the terms. Bye. Okay, what about Colton? Oh, what a beauty. Colton.

Colton. Colton, that's Haley. Not me. I'm a taken woman. Happily taken. he is fine he is fine like wow

yeah I don't I mean he's no shambi well there's no comparison there really is I mean this is my brother-in-law I'm talking about

that's weird back off Haley stop blurting with him but he I do feel like Colton is your type oh for sure I was gonna

I said I would stop but I'm not going to you're totally not going to stop and that's fine It's fine, it's fine. Yeah, he's awesome. And, like, what he does for cystic fibrosis. Yes.

Yeah. Adorable. I'm like, oh, okay, so he's the next bachelor. Well, he'd make good material. Yeah, because he's got, he's got, everybody thinks he's easy on the eyes. He's got, like, a good story. Yep. He does stuff for charity.

He's doing stuff for the community for charity. Yeah. Well, it was his cousin who has cystic fibrosis. Oh, and she's such a sweetie. So cute. Um, and he, he, oh, so he came out with the, um, the bang. Yes, he did. He had every opportunity to make a good bang joke missed opportunity.

And he didn't. Missed it. I was like, he was like, he was like, I know, because that's how my career got started, okay, with a good bang joke. So he came out with the cannon and he was like, you know, I thought this night would start with a bang and I'm like, uh, uh, uh, and finish. And finish the season with a couple more bangs, a lifetime of bangs. No? Nothing. Nothing.

He was just like all handsome and just set off his confetti. What did your client say a tall glass of water? What is it? It's a tall drink of water. Yeah. And she was like, oh, well, yeah, this guy came in one day. And he was like, wait, tell everybody what you do. Okay.

So I am a job coach. for adults with disabilities. So I work with adults with disabilities. They're the sweetest people. They are. They're amazing. We met them the other day. Oh,

they loved you. They still talk about it. Your picture is up in our office. That's so nice. So anyways, I just go around to their jobs with them and basically oversee and just be there to help and, you know. You're a Walmart grader sometimes. I did that this morning for my birthday.

Because, well, our mom worked with special needs. And so we've always both wanted to work with special needs. And so you'll send me pictures. You're just like being a Walmart greeter, hanging out with the best people ever, ever. So this day, we're at Dairy Queen. Amazing. Yeah. And we're just dipping our dilly bars.

Yeah, dipping the dills. Dipping the Dibbing the D bars. Oh, my God. I'm never going to look at a dilly bar this name. Okay. Okay. So, and then... Oh, yeah, dip that D bar.

Okay, I'll stop. Wow. Go. So, uh, anyways, this, uh, guy comes in. He's in like tank top. He's working outside construction or whatever. Tank top. Okay. A wife beater. Oh. Oh, yeah. Much better. Thank you. I mean, whatever. Is that still a term that people use for those tanks? I think so.

We live in Ladook. That's true. Okay. So anyways, he comes in and she looks at him and she kind of elbows me. She's like, Haley. And she's like nodding with her head. Like, look at that guy. And I'm like, oh, yeah, he's pretty cute.

I'm like, do you think he's cute? She's like, oh, he is a tall glass of water. That would be something Jordan would say. Oh, hands down, but it was way cooler. coming from this girl. Of course. Because it was, and she meant it. Oh, she meant it.

And then she's like, what did she say? A tall glass of water. A tall glass of water. Yeah. And it's a tall drink of water, right? But, and anyways, and then after, um, he's waiting for his food. Yeah. And, uh, she said, oh.

Or I said, no, I said, do you think he's single? And she's like, with arms like that, no way. Like it was just adorable. And then she went back to dip in the dillies. Diff in the Dibbon. Divorce. Oh, my gosh. That's so cute.

I wonder what you'd think of Colton walked in. Never mind what she'd think. That would be you. So funny. I knew you would like that guy. You also thought my guy was Ryan McDill, who was my drunk guy night one. You were like, oh, Ryan McDill. And he kind of looks like this guy. Yeah.

He seemed normal. Did he? Did he? Did you know him? Did you call him at home? Do you have a dark sipping? Okay, for anyone who doesn't get that, stop listening because you're not going to get the rest of the podcast. Okay, so Man Bun Mike with cardboard cut out of Airy.

I'm still going to call Mary. Yeah, that's fine. Why would anybody want Erie lingering around for the whole night, like just a reminder of what could have been? Right, and it's so awkward. It's awkward. But, I mean, was that really his idea? Probably not. Right.

I would have taken a pair of scissors and I would have cut his man bun off. Even that I was going to say cut up the cardboard. I totally did. But yeah, the hairstylist in me is like, I know, man. I feel like man buns are not 2018, but you know what? Good for you for being different. It says a lot about your confidence. Yeah, maybe he's just that company.

He's like, I'm going to rock this. Yeah. Whatever. Man do it. I'm into the confidence, I guess. I'm going to go ahead and say the guy with the handshake. not even going to remember his name because he's like, this is the handshake me and my buddies do back home.

I'm like, no, no. Well, in my notes, I was like, Jason, handshake, lame. Yeah, I'm like, why do you want to share your handshake you do with your buddies back home? This is a woman you're trying to impress, not your buddy. She's not one of the dudes, bro. Bro. Bro. Bro, broske.

Yeah, no. Prohemian Rhapsody. Bro, teen, shake. Oh, you're so good at this. Bro Montana I don't get that one Okay That's from

I love you man Brosifer Brody Brody Brody Bro I'm so terrible Yeah I did

I did good I already got like 10 down Okay So we We got through The handshake is terrible Yeah Okay

What about Chris Who's Chris? Chris. Oh, he had the choir. Yeah. I got a rose. I got rose. I rose. I don't know if that's how it went, but it was pretty much exactly. I wrote it. Good job.

Thanks. That was, that was, no, it was actually a cute idea. It was a cute idea. Yeah, I don't know if that's ever been done. Yeah, it was a little pitchy for me, Dawn. but it's a hard no for me but he was wait wasn't he the guy that like started saying

there's somebody here for the wrong reasons yeah he was yeah boo but then he got a rose he got a rose he got a rose I love how our heads are like shaking I know bobbing we were really into that but what were we saying

Chris oh he oh he oh Yeah, because he did the whole, I'm not here, somebody's not here for the right reasons. Like, that guy, he's like, he's trying to build his company and his ex said this. Yeah, okay, no ex is going to be like, like she's bitter. Of course. She's going to say something who's not there for the right reasons. Right. Also, yeah, he's trying to build a company.

Good for him. Great. Go on The Bachelor. Get those followers up there. Do it. It doesn't mean he can't fall in love. That's right. And, yeah, it was just awkward because I'm like, you know what?

that guy like the other guy really reigned on his parade okay he really did and then the guy didn't end up getting a rose yeah and the guy who reigned on the parade he got a rose oh god yeah that i didn't like that all right um let's talk about uh beca becaca funny story when i was on the bachelor and it was like me becca Whitney um jade i can't remember there's one more oh it was carly and there was like six people anyways we were all so close at that point like still such good friends and i remember any time that becca was talking to chris and they're like go interrupt i'd like do a call from the other room going becca and then she would know how it's coming so when david came out in the chicken suit i was like a i like it and b jordan mr fashion model is not

going to like your suit and i couldn't wait to hear what he said he's like dude you're dressed to the chicken suit. Don't don't even talk to me. I'd be like, I'd be like, hey, dude. I'd be like, hey, dude in the chicken suit. Yeah. Come on.

Get on over here. Let's talk. Absolutely. I am intrigued. Yeah. And he turned out to be super cute and super nice. Yeah, he seemed awesome. Like top three.

Whoa. That is bold. No, I'm not saying it. I just threw that out there to be funny, but I don't know. Right now I'm, so far of who we've talked about. Garrett. Mm-hmm. and do you know who I thought was going to get

I thought the grocery guy Joe from Chicago Hey Joe from Chicago I thought for sure he was going to get a rope Is that Chicago? Yeah it sounds like it sounds like kind of like New York I kind of sounded like Estelle from friends Totally did

Hey Joey But I was really kind of bummed that he didn't get one But yeah I kind of actually was I was really surprised on that one. Joe with the grocery store. No, I'm not going to say it. What?

Slide into your DMs? No. I was going to say something about melons and her melons weren't big enough. No? Oh, yeah, just kidding. That's stupid. That's what the joke you were going to make. I was going to say something about he can come and touch your melons.

Yeah. Something like that, you know? You should have just said it. Do you know what podcast? No, for that kind of. Lighten up, baby. Lighten up. Drink that Palm Bay over there.

Hey, this is pretty good. Yeah. Wait, don't say that I said Palm Bay. Pay me. Pay me Palm Bay if I'm going to talk about you. Anyways. Okay, who else? Chicken suit.

Chris, he got a rose. He got a rose. Blake. Blake, Blake came in on the ox, came in on the horse. I'm like, okay, you know what? Enough with the... We get it. You're overcompensating.

Okay? You brought in the horse. horse and an ox now an ox but i do kind of like them i like them together yeah they'll be top three okay yeah that's with these bold statements seriously because i gotta make yeah you got to make you know what i want to do a pool but you can't do that on night one you got to have at least one more episode but i'm saying blake top three blake garrett garrott colton and oh can we talk about lincoln he was the one he called him airy at the end did he yeah Oh, I didn't see that.

I think he might be top four. Which shocks me because I... He didn't landy with you? No, not even a little bit. But, I mean, who knows? Excuse me. Well, you're not Becca. You guys have different types.

True that. My type is Colton. Yeah. We know. We just going to make that real clear. Sometimes when I'm like doing my podcast, I think I need new material and new segments. And I'm like, am I keeping the crowd entertained? and am I, you know, but then I remember that The Bachelor has been super successful for 20 years

and they're still saying things like, here for the right reasons. What a journey. What a journey. Someone, they always keep the crazy guy who everyone can't believe they kept the crazy person. Right. They do it every season. Why are you guys still shocked? It's so true.

There's a few tools, a few keepers. So I just realized, you know what? Maybe the pod just needs to, I just need to keep it consistent. Absolutely. Oh, Leo with the hair. Wait, can we, should we confess if we're going to keep it? Oh, God. Do you have a confession?

No. You know what? That can be for off the vine. Okay, good, because I really, really don't. I can't really think of one either, so that's good. That works. Okay. Who are you saying?

Leo? Well, the hair guy. He's like a pantine pro v. Commercial. Pantin, Pious. He really, he really, is like he has way better hair than Beckard used that joke I should

She did she totally did Ooh he's got better hair than me Yeah I like his face Yeah The hair just doesn't do it for me And that's just that Yeah

Whatever It's great hair Absolutely But I can't be with a guy Who has got better hair than me Absolutely not I just can't Nope no

He was like So worried about the chicken guy too I'm like Oh I can't handle a sense of humor Dude Got a haircut make like a chicken and what else is I going to say

are we missing anybody well I mean there's a couple like Nick the blondey kind of guy he came in the race car outfit and then he's like who wears this he was okay he didn't like stand out

yeah um this John I don't even remember what he looks like but in my notes Van Dam. John Clock Van do the damn thing. Stupid. Stoops.

I have all the stoop's jokes tonight. You are, but that's okay. But anyways, right beside his name, I just have a big capital letters, no. Oh, okay. No. Nope, that's all we remember is a hard no. Hard no.

Okay. Not a soft one. Christian, the basketball player. Oh, he's okay. He was okay. And he did that. Actually, that was cool. I like him.

actually yeah or over top of her I'm a fan who what was his name again uh Christian I don't know I'm well because Christian

you would Janaya doubtfire dear oh yes wow you could deny a doubt fire dear or did I not tell you I don't work with the males because they used to be one.

I feel like I've quoted. I feel like I've quoted Mrs. Dover on like three podcasts. It's amazing. And it should be quoted constantly. Hello. Yeah. Okay. So, anyways, his name is spelled like Christian.

Did I not mention it to you? He's still on it. I'm still on it. Okay, what? His name is spelled with like, like Christian, except Christian. Christian. what makes it different him and jean blanc yeah they should make a wine um anyways i'm like this christian i really think it's just christian i don't think so oh christian i don't know

anyways he said it weird and i put next to oh he didn't even get a rose why are we talking about him by christian we'll never have to question your name again ever ever okay he's gone um to-d-l-l-l-loo it's light out how's that feel that's the worst that's the worst walk a shame ever it's the worst because it's actually like eight in the morning and yeah you have to one deal with one i'm really curious about the number of drinks i'm going to text one of the producers and ask about that um and because no there was no like i said to you there was no drunk guy it's true and there was no people crying when they leave on night one because usually that's just the alcohol drinks for sure there's a tear in my beer and i crying for you dear are my kids up all right i thought i heard someone coming down the stairs you were always on my

mind i think that's how i don't remember the rest i just remember tear in my beer uh yeah yeah worth feeling going out in the light well i remember going out in the light with a row and getting McDonald's delivered to us at the mansion. And I was like, what a life. What a league. What a league I'm in. Wow. Yeah.

Wow. It was awesome. Okay, let's take a quick minute to talk about food, shall we? Daily harvest. It makes healthy, eating easy with delicious plant-based foods that are ready in as little as 30 seconds, so you can do more of what you actually want to be doing. During the summer, the last thing you want to do is spend time cooking. I know I'd rather be outside doing things because that's what warm weather's for.

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If you like this show, check out shenanigans with Shea Shay every Wednesday on Podcast 1. Everyone's favorite from Vanderpump Rules Star as she shares juicy stories from behind the bar with amazing guests like Jasmine Good. Southern Charms, Shep Rose, and so many more. Check out shenanigans with Sheena Shea at Podcast One and Apple Podcasts. Also remember to rate and review.

You're listening to Off the Vine Race Therapy. Let's get to best and worst limo entrances of the night. All right. Best. Who stood out the most to you? Garrett. Cold. No, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. Like your favorite limo... I know. Actually, no, not Garrett. It was okay. It was okay. Who... Okay, worst for me was unfortunately.

It was so quick, too. He got like five seconds of his intro, and it was the handshake. What? That's the best? No, worst. Oh, I was like, pardon me. He's the worst one for me. Yeah.

Okay, yeah. Best. Probably. Well, we'll... Oh. I don't know, because right beside Colton's name, I'm like, cute limo entrance. Oh, of course. So I don't, I, I can't think of the best.

None really, I like the choir, actually. I'm not going to lie when the guy came up in like the morbid one. And he popped out. How did he pop out so quick like that? It was like he got a running start, but how? It was like he was the hair guy and it was a stuntman. The hair guy's a stem man I know

Oh Yeah That was not the best of the moment It's There wasn't any that truly Like was like Oh my Not like a

Blama failed kind of one Right Thank you There was none like like No Thank you for your honesty Nothing will ever compare It's like because we're blood

I'm so proud of you What did you think When you saw my limo exit Because I probably had told you That I said that Oh yeah But when you saw it actually saw it. Yeah. Were you like, oh, or did you laugh? I just, I put my hands over my

mouth and I'm like, oh, Katie. But were you surprised? No, absolutely not. Would you say watching me back, were you surprised by anything? Or were you like, classic Caitlin? Yeah. I, there is, there was not one thing that I was like, oh, wow. Except for when I like actually fell in love. Yeah, that's a little strange, but no. No, it was, it was, there was nothing like, You jumping off, like, on The Bachelor. Oh, and I took my pants on? Yeah. Like, no.

I know people were just mortified by me on the bachelor. You took your pants off when we were two years old at the cabin. It's my thing. It's my move. It is. It's my move. Power move. Yeah.

Great move. Yeah. Take your pants off. No, nothing really surprised me at all with you at all. How about when I told you I was going on the show? Did that surprise you? No. Yeah.

It didn't surprise me. I knew. I knew that. You were going to do something. Yeah. Big. Yeah. But I didn't know what.

I thought I'd be more along the lines of like dancing or singing or something. Yeah. But here we are. And what was your first impression of Sean B? Oh, like when I saw him come out of the limo? No, like when I met him in person. Because you met him in person and then you watched him come out of the limo. Yeah.

That's right. I just, it was so strange because I just knew. Yeah. like it was obvious yeah it was but I found him really well spoken and just really calm and cool like yeah you know but not like in a like nervous way or in like a show offy way you know what I mean just just the right amount of everything yeah yeah little nervous little shy little outgoing little confident matched that was cute oh they did match they were in the same outfit yeah oh dad I know Sean B I know it was adorable yeah but yeah no I just I

I just knew. Yeah. Like, I'm like, wow. Like, because you only got to meet the final two. Correct. And what, what, what, I mean, what I really noticed, too, was one person really followed around where the cameras were and one person really followed where I was in a room. Oh, totally. Yeah.

Totally. Just so many little things like that. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Starting to see through you. Anyways.

Anyways. Uh, okay. Top four guys in what order? Okay. Make your predictions here. holy I can't even remember half of them like what they look like and well just okay Blake okay here's my top four okay go in order who I think she's going to pick no I don't know yet I'm not going to say it I'm not going to say the order I'm just going to say top four

okay that's what we'll do Blake yeah Garrett yeah Colton yeah and um Lincoln okay but also those are really obvious they are really obvious and we were watching it on your little iPad and we could barely hear the sound and I feel like I really missed a lot of the music cues yes so I feel like I couldn't really hear like when the romantic music was kicking in yeah yeah yeah yeah okay give me your top four it's like the same okay that's fine like clay no Whoa. Nope. Who's clay?

The NFL football guy. Oh, the I'm not a typical athlete, and I say that as I take my shirt off? Correct. That guy. Cool. No, not that guy, though. But he pulled out the clay. And I was like, I appreciate a pun, but.

But that's lame. Not really romantic, okay? Not even in the slightest. I'm not like creola clay lined up, ready to make each other. Hashtag ad. Hashtag crayola pass. Yeah. Um, anyways, uh, okay, so I'll say Garrett.

Okay. Colton. Okay. Uh, duh. Um, doi. Doi? No doi. I'm going to say, did you say Blake too? Yeah. Dang.

Uh, Blake. And I'm going to go Wills. Who is Wills? How mad is Wells that there's a guy named Wills? Right. Oh, he's probably just like. That is not the baloney. He was, he said, I'm a big nerd and she's like, oh, I'm a big nerd too. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Was he the one that had Harry Potter? That's a really, is that the guy? Maybe. That's a good call though that he might be top four. Yeah. Wills. Yeah. You heard it here first, folks.

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Final thoughts? Oh, okay. What? I just have a question for you. Perfect. Okay, so as Becca was sending out, you know, like she gave her roses or whatever. Yeah. And then she had, you know, she had to say goodbye to however many, I don't even know.

Oh, I don't know. Usually like five. Yeah. Maybe. Something like that. Anyways. Like, did you feel when you were sending them out, you're like, I don't even know these guys. Am I making the right decision?

Yeah. I mean, my gut pretty much told me. because he really do sit down and you kind of feel like do I have any vibe with this person if there's zero by but there's one guy gosh Sean will remember his name Sean was like I can't believe you sent that guy home he was awesome and he was on night one and he had a volleyball outfit on he was like a volleyball player and he had um do you remember anyone I sent home night one McDill I didn't even send him home I would have kept that guy around forever Chris Harrison sent him on right no i do not remember him he had like a sweatband on his head and he was really nice and cool and cute blonde yeah okay maybe and sean was like i can't believe you sent that guy home he was awesome and i'm like wait yeah me too that was weird i actually yeah see that sweat you know maybe he's the one that got away just kidding totally joking yeah would it do you have any other questions for

me um i just feel like you know like if you have any Any connection. Oh, I thought you were talking about, like, I know, like, what you all went through. I don't really have any other questions, but, yeah. No, I don't know. I just could you do it? Oh, yeah. Bachelorette mom with major baggage and kids and.

Perfect. Great TV. It probably would be. Great TV. It probably would be. But, no, I couldn't do it. I, no. But I, uh, I don't know.

I just, I couldn't imagine not talking to my family and my friends. Yeah, that was a really, really tricky part of it all. Because, first of all, your family and friends are the only people that make you feel grounded. Yeah. They're the only people that know you the best and what you like and what makes you happy. So when you only have like producers in there. Yeah. I know.

Because if I got to talk to my family journey, I would have been smooth sailing. Right. But like, like the first time, like when they flew out to L.A., and we met you in that house. Yeah. It was it Malibu Beach? Whatever. Yeah.

And Amy Schumer just got married at the same mansion that. Shut. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's where she got married. Yeah. Well, it was beautiful. Yeah.

Stupid nice. Oh. But like, I remember like, we walked in and you were sitting on the coach and I just wanted to jump up and just like, wrap my arms around me and just be like, oh, my God, I miss you so much. Tell me everything. That also happened twice for us because I was on The Bachelor and, you know, made a pretty far. And I didn't.

see you guys till hometown so when i walked into the house in phoenix that was like such a new thing this time you guys were kind of like okay okay like tell us everything yeah but the first yeah it's the first time it was yeah it was really surreal yeah and i had like such bad strep throat you did oh and mom had just got surgery on her eye yeah oh my god you're just a mess dog show i was just a drain rack from the beginning yeah i'll never forget because you know your old body's just out of whack i remember when you met the final two yeah and i was in this blue dress and you were like i went to hug you and then my hair was like falling out i had like i was just a mess like my period was all out of swords and you hugged me and you're like katie

you smell no i didn't yes you did you said i smell like be oh yes you did well that's what sisters are for? You were like, you smell. And I was like, what? Yeah, my whole, I don't, sometimes like, like, I wear secret deodorant for the most part, but sometimes I don't even need to, but my body was so out of sorts that I was actually smelling. Like, oh, I don't remember. You don't remember seeing that? No, I'm really sorry. No, it was great. I was like, I know. Oh. Yeah, you tell me I smell. You bitch. I was like, cool. Thanks. I know. It's like the first thing come out of my love. No, that's it. Finally, the cameras were off and I got to like, hug you guys for two seconds. I know. And you told me I smelled bad.

Wow. Classic sister move. Remember when we were downed by the ocean? Just me and you? They didn't air it. They don't air a lot, as you saw tonight. Well, we recorded for like 12 hours. Try being me. You record for like 20 hours for 12 months and only get an hour every Monday. Go on. It was horrible. Well, anyways, we were down by the bay, or the watermelon grows. Back to my home. I dare not go. For if I do, my mother would say, did you ever see a whale wearing a tail? Down by the bay, down by the bay, down by the bay, where the watermelons grow, back to my home.

Wow. You like that? I kind of did. Landied. Landied. Oh, okay. Anyways. Anyways.

God. I'm looking at my computer right now. It's going to die. I'm looking at my podcast recorder. It's going to die. Okay. I'm looking at my phone. Oh, we got 69%.

Oh, 69. 69. Again, if you don't get that, we're not disgusting perverts. It's from a movie. Okay, kids, if you could open up your books to page 69. 69. That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience.

No, no, you don't. No, I don't. But the guy I knew and her got it on. Woo! No, they didn't. No, they didn't. Nope, they didn't. But you can imagine what it would be like if they did.

Oh, God. So have you ever seen Billy Madison? Let's go. Let's go. That's the best movie ever. Ever. Can we talk about down by the bay for just a minute, please? Where the watermelons go?

Back to my home. Okay, we got way off track there. Okay, remember when we were, we had one-on-one time, just me and you, and we're sitting on that log and it was so frigging uncomfortable? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like by the ocean or whatever. Yeah. And we were talking about some very inappropriate stuff.

What? We can't really. Really? Yeah. Oh. Too inappropriate for the pod? Yeah. Oh.

Yep. I'd say. But I'm a law. Does it start with a B? A B? Okay. No. Okay.

A P. Okay. Maybe a D. Maybe a couple T's. Okay. What? No, I don't remember. But anyways.

Anyways. And we got back to the up, like, so then we're walking up to, like, back to the mansion or whatever. And, and one of the producers comes up, they're like, guys, you're still miced. We can hear you. What were we saying? I told you. I can't tell you. Mouth it to me.

Oh. Yeah, too in a program. Yeah, right? Oh, that's funny. Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Surprise they didn't use it. Actually, yeah, me too, because we were like, really talking.

Anyways. Do you have any good jokes? Uh, I got like kid jokes. Okay, we'll take it. I don't even remember. It's like a mum brain. Cool. Okay.

Can't have, do you just have mum brain from the second you have kids to forever? Oh, cool. Mm-hmm. Can't wait. It's actually ridiculous. Oh. Yeah. It's not, uh, not fun.

It's not ideal. Seriously. Fine. I'll tell you a joke. Okay. I don't know when. You don't? No.

Come on. Jokes. I'm so mad at myself because I have a joke book somewhere. What's a joke book? Caitlin Bristow is a joke book. Caitlin Amazing Bristow. Oh yeah, right. Tonight I went to get a bottle of wine from the store and my sweet little niece, Sydney, came with me.

And bring her into a liquor store. And so I bought a bottle of wine and she's looking at my. ID and she goes, Andy, Katie, Caitlin, Dawn Bristow? I'm like, yeah. She goes, I didn't know that was your middle name. I'm like, you didn't? And she goes, I thought it was amazing.

I was like, pardon? Caitlin, amazing. You are sort of right. And then Brody, I was putting him to sleep and I cuddled him. And I said, I was playing with his hair. And I said, Brody, what was your favorite part of today? And he goes, right now. Ugh, that kid melts my heart.

He's good. He, he, like I said, he knows what to say. He's a smooth talker and he's... He's a little smooth talker. He is. It's actually kind of scary, but sweet at the same time, because he's six. Right? Yeah. That's, he's going to be a little...

Hotbreaker. Dreammaker. I don't know. Okay. Okay. I got a droke. Okay. Okay.

Okay. A grasshopper walks into a bar. Ouch. I think I've told this joke before. Because you know how there's a beer called grasshopper. Correct. I totally have told this joke before, but whatever, I love it. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, hey, we got a beer named after you.

And the grasshopper says, what? You got a beer name, Steve? Steve. I love it. You just picture of like grasshopper sitting in a bar name Steve, Dave. Hilarious. Steve-o. I really enjoyed our podcast today.

I loved it. It was so fun. Yeah. You even had a cocktail with me. Right? What is wrong with me? Like, you're not, you're not, uh, I'm not a bristow. I'm like, are, did the mailman like wine?

No. Hmm. Hmm. Answers a few more of my questions. I know. I can't believe you don't like wine. Is it because you barfed it all up that one time at our house? Correct.

Correct. Because me, you and mom, right before you moved to Vancouver, we, we pounded like six bottles of wine between the three of us. It was so bad. That's gross. And then I barfed it all over mom's white carpets. Yeah, I remember that. Oh, it was bad, bad.

Also very gross. And then you haven't really enjoyed wine since. Nope. But you're not a big drinker. No. Oh my God. Yeah. Like, only if like, we're just socially, won't just socially have one.

Yeah. See, and that's me. I love socially having one. I love having a glass of wine during the podcast. I love having a glass of wine with dinner. I love having just a glass of wine. Like, I don't like, I actually, believe it or not, people, I don't like to just go get drunk. I actually just enjoy a social beverage.

I'll do it like once a year where I'll go and actually tie one on. Just send it. You go send it? I don't know. I don't understand what that means. I was trying to be cool. But like, give me beer. I'm not a wine girl.

Give me beer. Give me some bud light. I am a redneck. I don't care. That's because you're from L.A. L-L-A. L-L-A. So they ask you, what the hell do.

wait i have to do this song which one she's my sister are you doing it yeah oh my god what are you gonna cry so this is my song fatty saddlebags um so this oh barney when did we start singing this oh like i saw it on tv like i was probably like seven no well you were like 15 no no no for real because we were laughing like we were like too old for it okay all right maybe we were laughing and why is my phone not connecting to oh because i turned the wifi off the two sisters on barney sang the sister song and then they not they're actresses haley and so and so we started singing this song oh please google this video they're they're back to back right now pouting oh they're turning around

always care She's my sister I love my sister Do yourself A favor and Google that Everybody just go Google that So I'm just going to end it With this

Yes She's my sister I love my sister Thanks for listening To Off the Vine Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday

exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV? Sponsors for this week's grape therapy are Daily Harvest, get three items free in your first box, daily-dash harvest.com with promo code Vine, LeCroy Sparkling Water, the 100% innocent beverage. Visit LaCroi Water.

and American Woman, premiering June 7th on the Paramount Network.