Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Paranormal Activity & Dildo Organization
Episode Date: February 17, 2022The frequent technology issues cause the Off The Vine team to question if there is paranormal activity happening around Kaitlyn. She’s totally okay with it, just stop messing with the podca...st… okay, Tommy? The paranormal activity doesn't stop there; Kaitlyn delivers some unfortunate (fake) news to a Vino’s boyfriend that his home is currently haunted. But like, also no worries because he could not be more chill about it. Turning the beat around, we celebrate Random Acts of Kindness Day on today’s episode by leaving kind voicemails to some random Vinos, including Morgan who is now Kaitlyn’s emergency contact. And to wrap it up, we finally found someone to organize Kaitlyn’s bin of dildos. Oh, and Eminem is hot. CYRANO - Don’t miss CYRANO, only in movie theaters February 25th. Learn more at cyrano.movie. BLOOM - Bloom Nutrition is offering my listeners 15% off your purchase of their Greens & Superfoods blend when you go to bloomnu.com/OFFTHEVINE . LIVING PROOF - Go to LivingProof.com/VINE and use code VINE to get 10% off your first purchase. Vizzy: To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/VINE. Sakara: Sakara is offering my listeners 20% off their first order when they go to Sakara.com/VINE or enter code VINE at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Okay, I'm not one to hide that I've definitely gone through some periods of insecurity
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Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Great Therapy.
Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question.
Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor.
Let's shake it up some more.
Here's Caitlin.
Wee. Okay, we're back. My producer, Madison, and I are back on the mic, just catching up about my time at home, shooting shit, spreading some kindness. And we finally found someone to organize my dang dildo collection. Yeah, you heard me right. It's my favorite time of the week. It's time for some grape therapy. Your session is now starting.
Do you think that there's a possibility that there's a ghost on the bus?
Maybe. Why?
I just feel like technology isn't working, and that's something to do with ghosts.
I don't know if I've ever heard of a traveling ghost, like, on a bus.
I feel like that has to be a thing.
Like, I feel like they attach to you rather than the place, because you can't just, like, if you're in paranormal activity, you can't just, like, leave your house and then the ghost is gone forever.
So you think I have a ghost attached to me that doesn't.
like technology. That's why we keep having internet problems. I mean, I don't want to offend
you, but it's a possibility. What a, what a stupid ghost? What did, what did the internet do
to this ghost? Because I feel like you've had paranormal encounters before. I have. I've had
quite a few, actually. And now that you say that, I do feel like there's a, there's a spirit in here.
Should we name them? Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? His name is like,
Tommy the traveling ghost.
Tommy, the traveling ghost.
Yeah.
No, that sounds legitimate.
Because Tommy also is not a frightening name.
Like, that makes me feel a little bit comforted to know that his name is Tommy and not like, Tom.
Yeah, because Tom is terrifying.
But Tommy is terrifying.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think ghosts have to be evil.
Like, this one just wants to, like, make you laugh and mess with your technology.
Yeah, but Tommy, that doesn't make me laugh because this has caused me some serious podcasting trouble.
and remember in the hotel, it didn't work for me at all.
And that's really making me have some inconveniences around here.
Maybe I should just use this podcast opportunity as a way to tell him to kindly stop, sir.
Make jokes in other ways.
I would love a good laugh right now, but the internet breaking down ain't one of them.
Yeah.
How has your week been other than The Haunting?
The week was good except for the first.
fact that I don't know how comfortable you feel about saying this, but I don't enjoy period sex. And so it
was Valentine's Day. And I was heavily on my period. So it didn't feel very romantic. Because you can't,
like, you can't skip it because you're not on birth control or anything. Exactly. Exactly. And I'm,
I'm not like, I don't want to yuck somebody else's yum if people enjoy period sex because that's
totally cool. I just don't, for one, enjoy it. And yeah, Jason had a travel day from hell,
with Delta and then came home to period, Caitlin with Karen personality.
Oh, no. I mean...
Happy Valentine's Day!
It sucks that. It was like your one time to see each other.
Yeah. Okay, it's more so about that, less so about Valentine's Day.
Yeah.
Because he was in Vegas, so I got to be home for two days, and he missed the whole one day
that I was there, so I hung out with my godson, and we watched the Super Bowl, and then
Valentine's Day I got to hang out with Jason, but he was so late because of
his travel nightmare.
Yeah.
And then he came home to me being like so crampy.
Like my cramps were so bad.
Yeah.
Which is never fun.
But how long were you together in all?
Like after he got home?
12 hours.
Yeah.
Oof.
And then when are you going to see him next?
I think he's coming to my show in Atlanta.
So I don't know when that is.
I don't even know what city I'm in tomorrow.
But I'm sure it's in the next couple weeks.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
And what did you think of the Super Bowl?
I would have cared a lot more of like the Buffalo Bills were in the Super Bowl, but I was like, oh, Rams and Bengals, like I really don't care.
But I did care, however, about the halftime show and all the celebrity spottings there.
But the halftime show, like, obviously I was a 90s West Coast for Life baby.
And I loved like 90s rap is where it's at and 2000s.
And so that was literally magic on my television screen.
I just loved every second of it.
Oh, my gosh, I was so wildly attracted to M&M.
Oh, interesting.
I feel that way about 50 cents.
Oh, my gosh.
No.
How long do you think he was just hanging upside down for before they, like, showed him on the screen?
And also like...
Yeah, that's true.
G-unit.
Was he in that?
He is G-unit.
Okay.
Just making sure.
I saw the most hilarious meme that was like, Dr. Dre plays piano, Snoop Dog, drives a car, 50 cent.
And then look, he's just hanging upside down.
He's just upside down.
Wait, did you see the memes with Mary J. Blige just like, like, flying flat?
Starfishing at the end of her performance.
I was like, give it up for Mary J. Blige, because how old is she?
And she crushed that in, like, the sexiest outfit.
yeah no that was like they're all kind of old they're I mean because we're old but she that was like
you on your period like I feel like that yeah meme needs to become that was me on valentine's day
was Mary Jai obliged at the end of her performance yeah oh my god I can't believe you're not
attracted to Eminem though I can't I mean I can't just brush past that you didn't like look at him on
that and be like he's hot I never thought he was hot did neither no no I never did no but now
a sudden? Just saw Super Bowl halftime show with his hood up and his little facial hair and he was like, I don't know, he looked like a little badass. Yeah, he's caught. Yes. And how was your God Sutton? Like, you hadn't seen him in a really long time. He's a growing boy. He's so much bigger than last time. Like when he was born, he was a teeny tiny little six pound peanut. And now he's just like a little milk guzzler and he's just got the cutest cheeks. And I'm obsessed with him.
And he was, I'm not even joking.
I was like bumping him to the, to the halftime show.
And his arm was doing this.
Wait, I saw that on your story.
He was like legitimately like bouncing his arm to the beat.
Yeah, it was really.
He has rhythm.
You know, it's so funny, sleeping in my own bed has become such a treasure to me now because
I was actually laying in bed and I was like, oh my gosh, my room is so big.
And I was like, and it doesn't move.
It doesn't move. I'm going to just sit here and lay here and sleep in like a big room that doesn't move. And that's when I realized that I have been on the bus for way too long.
Wait, tell me how your little road trip to Paul Rudd is going. Yeah. So we're in Austin, Texas right now.
Amazing. I love Austin. Yeah. I love it here. And we just stopped for a few days to like work for a little bit. And then going to Asheville, North Carolina. That's our next big stop, which is we, I take.
like my favorite places to go, obviously. Oh, I love Asheville. Have you been? Yes, I'm obsessed
with it. Oh, I'm obsessed with it too. Like, I even thought about getting married there.
What, where are you staying? We just do Airbnbs that have like big yards for the dogs because I've
my two dogs with me. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. How were your, how were your puppies? Like,
how did that feel to actually see them after that amount of time? It made me feel like an asshole of a dog
mom like i was like i i was like looking them in the eyes being like i promise i like love you and i'm
not trying to abandon you like the south korean people did to you and like i got all like i i felt
like i was just like um feeding into their insecurities of abandonment ship and that i like
they were probably so happy to see you they didn't see you and were like i see you out they were so
happy ramen actually did ice me out um when i was back
just a few days ago. And then this time, he was like, could not, like, he wouldn't leave my
side. And even if he went to go to the bathroom outside, I couldn't leave the door or he would come
running and, like, cry. So that's why I feel like an asshole because I'm like, oh, my gosh,
I'm leaving them again. Like, thank God Jason's home with them or I would be like, I wouldn't
even go on tour because, like, I'm, I just want them to feel like cozy and at home and loved.
And now I feel like I'm a bad dog mom. Okay. But the thing is, I don't think that they have a sense
of time.
Like, I, I think they have absolutely no idea how long you've been gone for.
I mean, they don't, time is manmade, but do you think they are like, this has been, like,
I usually see her more?
Yes.
I think they're, like, extra excited.
Because I think after you, you don't see your dogs for, like, a long period of time,
you can tell that there's a difference.
It's not like you just came home from going to a store.
Yeah.
But I don't think they're like, she abandoned us.
Okay, as long as you don't think so.
Maybe we should get, didn't you talk to a dog psychic?
Yeah, I need to do that again.
I feel like they need to actually just have a conversation and see what's going on, because we're just speculating.
Yeah, but what if she's like, actually the rumors, all the rumors are true?
All the rumors are true.
Well, then you can, at least you would know that and you could readjust.
You could just quit to her.
And then my career is going to go down the toilet because I'll say,
know to everything and said a yes to everything and then I won't have a job to provide them with
farmer's dog.
Hey, you.
Yeah, you.
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I also wanted to ask you because I know you're into Wordle, which I am too.
It's gotten harder.
Do you think so?
Well, there's been a couple duzies in the past, but the last three in a row have really thrown me for a loop.
And do you think it's because the New York Times bought them?
It is not lost on me that three in a row were hard and that the New York Times just bought them.
And then I think we're going to start seeing them show advertising because the New York Times bought them.
So there has to be some sort of or we're going to have to pay to play.
And I don't like that.
No, I don't like that either.
Like they bought them for millions of dollars.
So there has to be something.
Yeah, there has to be.
It's going to be ads or something, which is annoying, but fine.
I will never not play Wordle.
I've got Jason into it.
I, like, I've got, even though the word was so hard today, I got it in three tries.
Do you care about the number of tries?
Because I just care about getting.
Yes.
Oh.
Well, okay.
No, I care that I just get it because I don't want to ruin my streak.
Right.
But it's like bragging rights to get it and, like,
three or less. I got it on the second try once. Okay, that's really impressive. But that was that was before
the transition. Yeah. When they had like actual words that we knew. Alicia, you wanted to explain
the history of Wordle. It's so cute. So this like IT guy, the way Wordle started was his girlfriend
really liked word puzzles. And so he like programmed her this website. No one's ever done anything
like that for me. I know. Jason bought, Jason bought me this sweatsuit. That's like almost there. Yeah.
It's really cute. Is that Aviator Nation? And now they made millions of dollars off of it.
I'm really happy for them, actually. That's a sweet little, sweet, thoughtful gesture that turned
them into millionaires and I'm here for it. No, I'm very happy for them. I just wish that someone would
do something like that for me one day. Maybe Jason could buy me a dog sanctuary at full of rescue
Golden Retrievers.
That's a dream that I think is worth pursuing.
That seems like a lot of work that I would want to put in.
Oh, wait.
I'm also looking at the news and I saw that there's a Tennessee dog shelter that let locals
take dogs on a date for Valentine's Day.
Only Valentine's Day?
I missed it.
Oh, that's a real, maybe they'll make an exception, but that's a really cute idea.
Oh my gosh. My dad and my stepmom are part of this program where they can dog sit, like dogs that are being trained for therapy dogs for special needs. And sometimes they need to be like looked after for a few hours. And my dad and my stepmom are on the list and they get to like just look after these dogs once and while. And it's so cute. I want to do that.
Speaking of your dad, you, you didn't say anything about the.
the hotline jingle featuring your dad.
Did you hate it?
Wait, what?
Did you hear the jingle?
No.
Oh, I sent it in a text, and you didn't respond,
so I took that as you hated it, and you still might.
So, actually, Alicia, can you play the jingle?
Well, there was this one time.
And so I guess my question is,
I don't know if I want to share my name,
have a really good succession for you.
We were literally trying to remove my dog's temples, let's tweet.
I just called to say I love you.
Oh, it's a...
Wait, that's adorable.
Isn't it cute?
Yeah, I wouldn't call that a jingle.
What would you call it?
Like, it's just like a...
It's more of like an intro into a segment, if you will.
Yeah, a jingle.
Like a mashup?
Yeah, a little medley, a hotline medley.
mashed up? Yeah. Okay. I'm into it. Okay, good. Good to know because we worked really,
really hard on that for like a whole afternoon. I'm so sorry. I didn't even see it. I was like,
what jingle are we talking about? No. Okay. Well, speaking of the hotline, we have some things to get
into here because first of all, I was looking up the national holidays again. And first one I found
was National Cabbage Day. Oh, of course. So I was like, not like that much to talk
out there but it's also random acts of kindness day on the day that this is released which i thought
was sweet cute yeah so i have i have a couple of voicemails from the finals that i wanted to play
in honor of this day so let's let's get to the first voicemail acts of kindness day okay
hi kately i am so obsessed with you you are seriously an icon of our
generation. My best friend and I came to your show in Nashville. We're from Georgia. So we drove up for
my birthday weekend, and it was an amazing show. So my best friend that I came with, her birthday,
she's a leaf year baby. So she only has a birthday every four years. So this year, she doesn't
get a birthday. So I thought, what better gift been for you to give her a call? She bought me my first
follow us, baby Sarah, so she's the best friend ever. She is so sweet and thoughtful, and so
what better gift then to hear from KV. Her number is and her name is Michaela, and she would be
over the moon if she heard your voice. So that would be amazing. But if not, that's totally fine.
We love you, KV. Wish you the best.
I love a little Georgia accent, a little Georgia peach. A little Georgia accent. I know, it's so
cute. I wish I had that accent. It's like
not Ruth
from Arkansas. It's like sweet Georgia peach.
You shot his dick off, darling.
Do you watch that show?
Is that Ozark?
Yeah.
I'm not caught up, but I got that.
Oh, good. That means I had a good accent. Okay, I'm calling her.
She red buttoned me.
She's not available.
At the tone, please record your message.
When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.
Michaela, my little leap year baby.
I can't believe you just hit the ignore button on your good friend, KB.
What the hell, brough?
I might have to call you back because maybe you'll listen to this and you'd be like,
oh my gosh, I shouldn't have hit the ignore button.
it because I'm calling you from a private number, and I would probably do the same.
I got two calls from Japan today.
Could have been someone important, but I hit the block button, too, so I get it.
But you know what?
I'll try you later.
Okay.
Two calls from Japan.
I know.
It's so weird.
I keep getting, like, all these scam calls.
Like, I had one from Hawaii, two from Japan.
So many from California.
It's so weird.
That's annoying.
I know.
Okay.
Well, we're super annoying.
We have a couple more that I have.
I thought we could do for random acts of kindness.
But hopefully, hopefully they'll answer.
Let's play this next one.
Okay.
Hey, Caitlin.
My name's Brittany.
I'm from Wisconsin.
So I want you to call my husband.
His name is Jason.
And he's a high school math teacher.
He's also really in the Gulf.
And he's just having a really tough year.
He's new at the school.
And everyone loves him.
So his classes are full.
But if you could just call him, his number is.
Give him a little pep talk.
Tell him he's great at golf.
Tell me he's a great teacher.
He's killing it.
But yeah, I married my Jason.
I can't wait for you to marry yours.
And we got married on your birthday, June 19th.
So I have a great day, Caitlin.
Love you.
Bye.
Go, Pac.
Go. I'm calling Jason.
It's so sad that people don't answer private numbers because I have a feeling this is going to happen to me a lot.
Call has been forward to an automated voice messaging system.
ignored oh wait wait wait wait what Japan no I just I just called the same number as last
time oh no and she still ignored you she ignored me on the third ring this time not the
second so she clearly has not got my voicemail okay wow that one hurt but let's actually
try Jason this time okay please leave your message for okay
Oh, hi, Jason.
I just wanted to call and tell you that you're doing amazing, sweetie, okay?
You are a great math teacher.
Your students love you.
You golf like Mr. Woods himself.
You are like the happy Gilmore of our generation.
And I just want to say that your wife is amazing and you're amazing.
And this is Caitlin Bristow.
And I don't know if you know who I am, but your wife probably does because she told me to call you.
but I just wanted to give you a little
encouragement say that
keep on keeping on
okay keep that little chin up of yours
great name by the way
okay
that was a good one there okay
well we have one more but if they don't answer
I mean
okay you're still doing a good deed
whether they answer or not yeah
that's true I'm leaving them in a nice little voicemail
yeah that's such a random
act of kindness yeah
Really embracing the day.
Hey, Caitlin, this is Carly.
I was wondering if you'd be able to give my friend Morgan a call.
She's a certified vet tech and has been working around the clock doing a variety of things,
from dental care to new puppy exams, different trainings, and even being there when, you know,
there's difficult things going on with some of our pets.
So I know how much you love and adore ramen and pinot.
And I just think Morgan would love to hear from you.
She's a big fan, and we really need her, especially taking care of our furry family members.
So if you could do that, that would be fantastic.
Thank you.
Bye.
Calling her now.
Come on, Morgan, pick up.
I mean, nobody wants to pick up a private call.
Hi, it's Morgan.
Leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Thanks.
Oh, hello, Morgan.
It's your friend, Caitlin Bristow, calling.
Carly gave me your number.
I hope that's okay.
I will only use it in case of emergencies.
You might now be my emergency contact.
We're friends now.
But I heard you...
I heard you've been working your ass off,
taking care of fur babies.
And I just wanted to send a bunch of positive vibes your way,
because you're a real here.
hero you know that a real hero morgan and not all heroes wear capes as they say you wear scrubs so
thank you for doing what you do that was that was a good one i feel like you should just start
texting her random questions when like your dog throws up now i'm 1,000% going to be like actually
ramen dry heaved again yesterday i don't know what the heck's going on so i'm going to ask her
I texted Morgan later tonight.
Thanks, Carly.
Thanks for doing that.
Okay.
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Sakara.com slash Vine.
This is Off the Vine, Grape Therapy.
Guys, tell your friends to pick up because you never know a blocked call.
It could be a scam, taking all your money, or it could be Caitlin.
Yeah.
Oh, Emmanuel Acho, I had him on and he said he answered a private call once and it was Oprah.
And I think, you know, even though it's random acts of kindness day and you just did some really good deeds, we still have to do at least one prank call, maybe two.
Okay.
We have to give the people what they want.
Okay, I love a prank call.
Let's play this first voicemail.
Hey, Caitlin.
My name is Kyra, and I'm calling because I have a really great, great call idea for my boyfriend.
So we recently bought a house together, and I talk to him all the time about believing in spirits,
and it really creeps him out thinking that our loved ones might be hanging around our new house.
I would love for you to call him and pretend like you're the previous owner of our new house
and create some sort of story about someone dying in our house tragically,
from a medical accident.
Pretend to feel really guilty
knowing that you might have sold someone
a haunted house because I know he's
going to fall for this.
The previous owner's name was Cyra.
So you already have a secret identity set up.
My boyfriend's name is Tyler
and his phone number is
and yes, that's 780 as in
Northern Alberta area code.
From one small town Alberta girl to another.
Just wanted to say, keep doing what you're doing,
Caitlin. I love you so much
there's such an inspiration to women everywhere.
I have some of the best girlfriends that I've met
through the Off the Vine group,
and I just love having you being a part of my life.
So love you.
Have a great night.
Oh, what an angel.
That's so sweet.
That really, I didn't see that ending coming of that nice voicemail.
I was, she's just a little sweetie pie.
Okay, let's call and be Sarah.
Hi, I'm looking for Tyler.
Hi, this is Tyler.
Oh, hi, Tyler. It's Cyra calling.
Okay.
I was the previous owner of your house.
I just have been receiving some messages from friends that said that I should be telling you this because it's been weighing on me.
But we did have a medical accident in that house, and I was wondering if you have been experiencing any paranormal activity.
no oh you haven't no okay um just if you do could you give me a call because um i would just like to call
someone to get rid of the spirits okay all right thank you yeah no problem
I'm stuck
Wait, that guy was so chill
He did not care
He was like, yes, it doesn't matter
He didn't even know
He doesn't even know my number
He wasn't like, could I get your number
And like, he literally was just like, yep, okay, thanks
How did you like, how do you not laugh
during that. That was really tricky. I just had to put my hand over my mouth and like really
concentrate because that was hilarious. And he's probably freaking out right now, but was just
playing it cool on the phone because he's like, what is happening? And now he's like,
holy shit. Like if his, is his girlfriend has been saying that she thinks that their house is haunted
and then you get that phone call? Like, oh, terrifying. I cannot. Okay, I always need follow-ups from these
people like I need to know how he really reacted yeah like I need to hear follow-ups yeah oh my gosh
that my heart is racing I like get sick to my stomach doing this because I'm like oh god they answer
the amount of silence that went by when I said yeah I was like oh he hung up but then 10 years later
he was like oh no worries holy crap that was so funny oh okay we have one more I think we
have to do this one because that last one went so well that we're just on a roll let's let's play this
next one okay oh hi katelyn um my name is alex and i have another frank call proposition for you um
my sister amanda owns her own personal organizing business called arranged by amanda and i'm thinking
it might be funny for you to call her and ask her to organize her to organize
something really weird um like perhaps like maybe your brain or your brain i don't know i'm
confident you'll you know think of something suitable um her number is again her name is amanda
she's a big fan i'm a big fan we both love you so much and i hope you give her a call thanks
This one I'm going to, I keep, don't laugh, Kaelan.
Hello, this is Amanda.
Oh, hi, Amanda.
This is so random, but my name is also Amanda, and I got your info from Google, actually.
You have a business that does organizing?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Do you have, like, a wait list or anything?
Because I have a large bin of dildos I need organized.
Um, I can't say I've ever done that before, but...
Oh, well, first time for everything.
Um, no wait list here.
Okay. Um, like, could you come tomorrow?
Happy to help.
Okay, great. Um, so my name's Amanda, and by Amanda, I mean Caitlin Bristow, and I'm prank calling you on my podcast.
I was like, this voice sounds so familiar.
Oh, my gosh.
I was like, how am I going to keep a straight face on this one?
And when I said it, I totally said it in like a Caitlin voice where I was like,
eh, I need you to help me organize dildos.
And then I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm just like, if she listens to my podcast or she knows
who I am, then she's going to know it's me.
I was like, I was actually waiting for another call.
And I was like, oh, maybe this is.
This is the call.
Wait, did you know I was going to prank you?
No, I was waiting for another call.
Oh, oh, you thought that was.
Oh, I see.
That was amazing.
You handled it like a champ.
Oh, I've never done that before.
Wait, how do I respond to this?
Oh, my gosh.
That is incredible.
I wanted to keep going, but I was like,
she's just blushing so hard on the other end.
I got to just tell her who it is.
And I do these, like, prank calls so quickly, too, that I was like, oh, shit, I didn't even think of a name.
So when you said Amanda, I was like, I do, I'm Amanda.
Oh, my God, this made my day.
Oh, good.
It made mine, too.
I love prank calling people.
So I'm glad I got you.
And thank you for answering because when I call for private numbers, a lot of people don't answer.
So thank you for picking up and trusting the process.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you.
I hope for having fun on your tour right now.
I am.
I'm having so much fun.
And now we can give you a little arranged by Amanda's shout out on the pod.
So there you go.
Yay.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
Where are you located out of?
I'm in Southern California.
Southern California.
Okay, perfect.
Anyone in Southern California looking for some organizing, then get Amanda's number.
I'll give it to you.
Yay.
Thank you so much.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks for the call.
Of course.
Anytime.
Thanks for picking up.
Yep.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
I was so hard to say a bin full of dildos.
A bin.
Like you need professional help.
Well, I was going to say a drawer.
And then I was like, I want this to be like a little over the top.
So I said a bin.
Yeah.
And everyone, just a friendly reminder to keep calling.
Middle of the day, middle of the night, whenever your little heart desires,
434-696-8-4-66.
Share it.
You can actually text it too, but I like the voicemail is better.
because then I can play it, and then I feel like we're actually talking to each other.
So keep calling, keep dialing, knowing you can always count on me for show.
That's what vinos are for in good times, in bad times, I'll be by you.
Okay, I'll stop.
Do you feel good going into your show tonight after two successful prank calls?
Yeah, I feel really good about that.
I kind of wish I would have stayed committed to the dildo role and, like, hung up and made her think she was actually doing this.
and I regret that but you know learning lessons on the pod and next time I'm going to commit better
yeah you committed fully on the other call you never even told him oh I've fully committed I hope
I hope he is shit in his pants right now I'm sure he is I'm sure he is the old pantaloons yeah
I feel really good ready for my show now because I mean I'm always in a good mood when I go on
stage but before I get a little tired sometimes and this was just the energy I needed
Okay, great. And what shows do you have coming up next? When are you going to be home next?
Oh my gosh. Well, I won't be home until end of March. But I've got, I'm in Jacksonville, Florida right now. Then we have like so many stops in Florida, like Orlando, Fort Myers, Clearwater. And then we go back to Tennessee. So Knoxville, which is exciting because I think Jason will be able to come to that one. Maybe he can bring the dogs. And then Jason and his whole family are coming to the Atlanta show. Yeah. And then we start heading over to California. I'm like, how am I in Florida?
Florida right now, and I have to find our way to California on a bus that seems like a lot of long
trips. You're doing like the opposite trip that I am. We're just like two two bands passing in the
night. Oh my gosh. Imagine we did pass. That would be wild. We probably, we might have.
Weird. If you see a green tour bus, it me. Okay. If you see a white van, it's probably not me.
So don't do anything. I don't look out the windows anyways. I just sit here in the
dark and cry because I can't sleep. I have 26 shows left. That's a lot. That feels like a lot.
How many? Do you know how many you've done? Thirty-three, I think. Oh, okay. So you're over the
old hump. I love how I had the exact number. Like, 33, I think. That's very specific.
Yeah. Okay. Well, you're, how do you feel that you're halfway done?
I'm definitely going to miss this. Like, so I was talking to the dancers about it and they're
like, you get depression when you're done the tour because you're ready for it to be done,
but then you realize how much you miss it and like how exciting it was. And they get to do
these tours like every year. I'm like, oh, this is it for me. Like I probably won't dance again
unless I like take a class myself. But like on this level of professionalism with these kinds
of dancers, this is probably it for me. So I'm trying to really soak in every show and every
moment. No, I imagine that like once you're done with however many shows that is, that must feel
insane. But at least you'll get to
go home, be a present dog mom.
Yes. Live your best life.
And live my best life. Okay, well, thanks for podcasting
with me today. Yeah, good luck tonight. I'm sure it'll be a great
show and have fun.
Thanks. It's going to be great. That's what we keep saying. Every
tour, like, at the beginning, it was like
a couple of shows were not sold out and we're like, okay, it's
going to be great. It's, uh, it's going to be great.
And then it always is.
I'm Caitlin Bristow.
Your session is now ending.
Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy.
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