Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: People's Choice Awards Recap With Lo Pt 1!

Episode Date: November 14, 2019

Kaitlyn hangs out with Lo VonRumpf her stylist and friend to look back on an exciting night at the People's Choice Awards. Kaitlyn tells an embarrassing story about the Kardashians and the two gush over Gwen Stefani. Then, Lo remembers Kaitlyn's old red carpet moments and they talk about her major glow-up. Stay tuned for a hilarious story about pre-red carpet jitters! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions, drink to your confessions, and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Okay. So let's do a little grape therapy moment. Okay. Let's start the session. Yeah.

What's going on in your world? Are we a little... I'm about to have a meltdown. I feel like a little bit high stress too, but I'm also on my period. Oh, yeah. So that's just... Natural. Can I just tell you?

It's so hard. I'm just going to complain about it. being a woman for a second. No, please do. Every single month for six days of the month, I have to be, I mean really actually depressed. Yeah. Like.

And bloated. You don't look bloated, but you know. Well, that's why I'm wearing coveralls, overalls. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Hiding it. Hiding the bloat.

I'm bloated. I feel like anxious and depressed. The other day on the airplane, I actually started overheating with anxiety and had to like jump up out of my seat and grab um as an ex well it was a larazepam but same shit and like jason was like are you okay and i'm like no i'm not and don't i just need the air blowing on me and i need silence and i was like not okay and i'm like this happens to me once a month to a t around my period and i'm so sick of it and i'm like do i just have to suffer this the rest of my life or i'm like asking you like you're a doctor or like is there a cure yeah what if you wanted to transition there are ways

and hormone therapies. See, I need hormone therapy. Okay, maybe. Grape therapy. I need hormonal therapy. Is what baby needs. Yeah. I mean, it sucks.

And not to mention killer cramps that feel like someone's sticking a knife in you at some point. Yeah, I get them bad. I've just from my close friends, they've told me like, oh, my God, these are like I can't even get out of bed some days. Oh, I'm going to talk to Ariel about this because I know she suffers from them as well. But I. Chronic cramps.

It's bad. And we as women just have to. You know, well, we just deal with this once a month And I'm just over it right now I mean, I'm in the thick of it So I'm just really over it right now Anyways, I know you can't relate But I just need it to vent

Well, I mean, now I can't relate to that part of it I'm like I peed blood before Kidney Stone You know what? I've heard that's comparable To birth thing a child Oh But I feel like my cramps are so bad that it feels like I'm birthing a child.

And all the moms out there are like, shut the hell up, Caitlin. You're not even close. Excuse me. But see, when I hear what women go through, warriors, first of all. We are. Secondly, though, it makes me think, okay, I'm not going to complain about my life today. Well, you can.

I'm not going to. No, you can. We can all complain. It's, that's what grape therapy is for. You can complain. I'm here for you. If you have any stresses, you want to get off your chest is. It's just a, it was a weird day.

So I will say this. Yeah. I was going to get a lift. Yeah. And I was a driver and I couldn't find this car. There was a, it's a Hyundai Sonata and there's another Hyundai Sonata in front of my studio. So I thought, and both of them had Lyft and Uber stickers. Both of them had their hazards on.

Yeah. And they both were like similar in color. Yeah. Black and gray or something, whatever. Anyway, so the guy calls, I'm here. I said, okay, cool. He was already irritated. Uh-oh.

Like, I'm here. I said, okay. I'm coming right down. Yeah. And so I was out within a minute. Yeah. And, and I said, and I guess I walked to the wrong car. And he yells from his car.

I'm fucking right here. No. Yeah. He was pissed. He's having a day too. Yeah, sure. So he was pissed that I walked to the wrong car. You're like, motherfucker I pissed too.

Yeah. But it was just like right behind him. Yeah. It wasn't much of a journey. I just looked and said, oh, okay. So then I go, are you okay? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, just get in.

And I go, I don't know, man. You seem like you're going through it today. I think I'm going to cancel this ride. So I shut the door and I hit cancel ride. He went ballistic. I think Farsi, who knows what he was speaking. But it was not a, he wasn't saying sweet somethings to me. Oh, no, no, no.

He was wishing death upon you. Mixed within like, you mother fucker. Oh, my. How dare you cancel the ride? Like, are you blind? Like just ripping it. into me. So that's happening. And I'm just like, okay, this is a lot for a Tuesday. My God. Your ratings probably went down so hard. What's great, I already reported into customer service.

But while I'm doing that, the lady next to me, there's an African American lady and there's a white lady. And they're screaming at each other. And they're both filming each other on each, on the phone, cell phones. What a 2019 moment you had today. I know. And I'm like, wait, I have this like, like, I don't know, Lebanese, I have no idea what his background was cursing me out. And then this African-American lady and this white Irish-type lady. And you weren't filming all of this either? I was so overwhelmed. I'm like, and they're yelling at each other like, how dare you?

You know, you harassed me. And the lady's yelling back at her. Like, I'm not giving you a right. How dare you? I'm filming. I'm putting this on Facebook. I know. It was just.

It's going on my IGTV. Yeah, I'm going live with this on the crane. Oh, my gosh. It just must be something in the air this week. Yeah. Anyway, so then I just got here and now, I'm here with you now. Are you okay? So then I get here and then I have some dresses in my car that go to a showroom.

Yeah. A designer showroom. They go back to the showroom. By the way, if you guys don't know already, I'm podcasting with Lowe. Oh, hey, guys. Yeah. Hey, everyone. We just came in hot.

Menstru cycles and how I'm about to have a fucking meltdown. And so anyway, I call the lift and he goes to drop off the dresses. And all of a sudden, the designer is like, hey, the dresses aren't here. I said, oh, he should be there. He ended the ride. Ended the ride. So he stole your dresses. He stole the couture dresses.

May I just ask what you were thinking putting couture dresses in a lift to send down the street? They do that a lot. Yeah. They do that a lot. And actually, lift drivers have been pretty awesome. They love it because you don't have to ride with someone. Totally. You know, I always tip and all that.

And I'm like, here, just basically drop, drop this off. They don't have to get out of the car. Someone runs out to them. Right. Makes it easy. But this time it didn't go easy. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

And aren't you, like, scared for the rest of your day when it goes like this? You're like, what else? Yeah. Okay, I know we're like being super dramatic, by the way, because really, like, we've got it pretty good in life. But we're allowed to. We're fucking killing it. But we're allowed to just vent about a bad day. Yeah.

Just a weird off day. Oh. Oh, and then just in the nick of time, Jeff comes in with spade and sparrows, white wine. It's my favorite. Hero, I can be your hero, baby. I can pour away the pain. Oh, yeah. That's my favorite part, too.

Me too. That's amazing. Jennifer Love Hewett. Thank you. In her glory days. Do you remember that video? Well, that was Jennifer Love Hewed in that video, eh? Oh, yes.

I just said A. Hey. Oh, cute. Thank you, Jeff, for pouring that wine. That's all, you know what, Lo? This is where our day turns around. All right. A little day changer is what I like to call spade and sparrows.

Mm, drink it in. Mm-hmm. Perfect. I'm already in a better mood. You know what? Same. This is nice. Okay, so even though I'm pretty much constantly on the road, I always make time for my TV shows.

Jason was always like, I'm not a big TV show guy. And I was like, hmm, have been my whole life. Get on board. I'll watch them on the planes in the hotel rooms. Sometimes I'll wait until I'm back in Nashville just so I can binge all of them at once from bed. Don't act like you don't do it. And one of my absolute favorite things about fall

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and maybe a few tears. If you feel the way I do about TV, you can go to Hulu.com and start your free trial and get your binge on. Go ahead, girl, get your binge on. Let's, um, because I'm like, oh my gosh, I had such a day, but I also was like in the same room as the Kardashians and, um, and, um, Jennifer Aniston. Oh my God, we got to talk about people's choice awards. Yes, we have to talk about people's choice awards. There's a lot that happened. Okay, where do we even start?

Let's start with our, you landing in Los Angeles. Uh, yes. At L-A-X. And the turnaround time that you and the team did. for my outfit. I'm so glad. Well, I'm glad that one,

we're very close. So the texting and, I mean, we talk all the time. Yeah. With other clients, it's like, hold on,

let me like email the manager. Right. Oh, yeah. No, I just go straight to the source, baby. Yeah,

which is great. But on two, I've dressed you so many times that I know, right? Yes. Like this is, I know there's at least

four winners on this rack in my brain, but you do. You know, one my sizes, two, my style, three, my vibe,

and four, you throw a few like Mabies in the mix Because you know that sometimes I'm feeling spicy Yeah Yeah And you were

Baby felt some spice Shalula Extra hot coming in I really did Like a bat out of hell Yeah Well and you put the wrong Speaking of Uber and Lyft drama

You put in the wrong address Yeah So you went and then It's just my Everything's just been a shit show But it all has worked out Yeah Like so I'm obviously in the middle

of this podcast tour I fly to L.A., land at whatever time, like 9 a.m., full-blown anxiety on the plane. So I'm, like, high on Larazepam coming to your house. I'm usually, like, in this, like, bubbly mood. And I'm like, what the f*** got from me, Lowe? I better be good. And Lowe's like, ah, it's the day of you, bitch. Like, give me a break here.

And she texts me, I'm bloated. Nothing's probably going to fit. Nothing's going to fit. Probably won't even be able to zip me up. Yeah. Probably won't even make it to the awards. Yeah. No, you thought that, though, but everything actually fit.

You are so little. You're a little human. I'm a little human with a little belly. But that's okay right now. I did put you in one thing that was not the most flattering. Which one? Oh. There was a jumpsuit.

Yeah. And it just hugged the bell bell ever so gently, you know, just look like you had a nice Chipotle burrito. I probably did. Yeah. Yeah. It was the airplane food. No, I can't make excuses.

It's just I've been eating and drinking like shit. Okay. Well, but you ended up looking incredible. I love what you put me in. And so we ended up finding the winner pretty quick. Yeah. And where do we go from there?

Oh, I went home. You had a seamstress like on hand. Oh, yeah. My seamstress there to pin and alter everything in the moment. In the moment, on the fly. Yeah. And then went to the hotel room, got my makeup done. You came over with the outfit.

And we just made it work. Yeah. Got her dress. Yeah. jewelry, bag, shoes. We'll be right back with more Ostavine, Grape Therapy. This is Austin Vine.

Grape Therapy. Hey, tell us what the dress was. Everybody wants to know. Yeah. It was custom made. Oh. I wish. How cool would that be if I just had a spool of fabric

and I'm like, I'll see you tonight. A true fairy godmother. I do think of you is. That's so sweet. I love that. I want to wear cloaks. and stuff and kind of like own that title. It'd be fun.

You should in your little loafers? Yeah. Wizarding world. But no, the designer is Bao Tronchy. Okay. B-A-O and then T-R-A-N-C-H-I. Anyway, she's a Vietnamese designer. She's incredible.

I actually met her years ago randomly at a photo shoot and we were shooting and next door was this really cool studio with all these body suits and it was like super sexy and leather and fur and it was faux. And it was, yeah, sure, vegan leather. And it was really cool. And I ended up meeting her. This was ages ago. We stayed connected.

Her brand was, I feel like a little bit newer then. Yeah. But then J-Lo fell in love with it. She started making custom cool pieces for all these big singers and her brand blew up. Wow. And she's killing it now. And her fit is amazing. Yeah.

And it's like a very sexy, strong type vibe that she does. Yeah, it was like a blazer mini skirt dress. Yeah. Yeah, in metallic silver. And what a look. And I call, anytime I wear a blazer, I call it the Mrs. Tardick, because Jason's a big blazer guy. Oh. And so I had a very, very Mrs. Tardick chic look going on.

He was turned on. Oh. He loves the, and it looked like it was falling off of you. Yeah. Your boob was almost out, but not. Just a little hint. It was like, if I had big nips, that would have been a problem. Oh, my God.

Thank God. You have the perfect nipple. Hershey kiss. Which everyone has seen on Instagram from my nips. slip at one point in life yeah okay but so I describe it so graphically but everyone knows she's got great nips yeah at least it was if I was if that other side was there it would have been bad because I would have had you had a little peekaboo of the piercing yeah yeah yeah so that's right I forget about the piercing yeah yeah yeah but I love it was open neck yeah short it was easy to wear I'm really into my

clavicle bone oh yeah so it was like really showed off my greatest asset yeah your clavicle bone yeah is your moment that you love. I shimmered it. I made a little highlight so it was really having its own moment on the carpet and I got to actually go on the carpet which was really exciting because remember when I went to the Emmys and I was like having this moment I got there and they're like yeah you're just going to walk behind the carpet and I was like oh yeah okay so I just made it look like people's choice they love you they were nominated which I didn't win but not mad not mad at all a little disappointed but not mad because I know that the Vinoes worked so hard, you know, the devil works hard, but the vinos work harder.

I agree. And they were really putting in their votes. I voted my aunt and my uncle. Everyone was voted every Tuesday. Yeah. We did Taco Tuesday. Get on your laptops. I'm treating for tacos.

You dumb asses need a vote. That's what I told them. And we're all voting. I'm getting different emails, register. So, you know, you didn't win, but, well, I'm just going to. Well, I'm happy for scrubbing in because those two are those. I'm not. I'm not.

And I can say it. You shouldn't say that. Politically, it's not a good luck. Women's supporting women. Yeah. I'm not supporting shit today. I was in a mood. I wanted you to win.

But Tanya's great. Becca, I don't know very well, but she's fun too. Yeah. They're very, very sweet girls. And I liked sitting at a table with a bunch of women being like, yeah, so happy for each other. And it was such a funny moment, too, because, you know, their, um, Hannah B is just Queen Bee right now in the Bachelorette world. So she gets to have her moment on stage. And Jennifer Annans up.

Aniston's up there on stage and then people are presenting Sarah Highlands up there on stage and the Kardashians are up there on stage and then for the podcast award it was like a commercial break and these people just ran up to the table and were like okay scrub it in you want here you go and handed them their award and then they're like all right okay uh everybody take your seats and it was like oh wait they didn't go on stage no it was during commercial break they were like they didn't care about the podcast awards it was so disappointing they literally just ran up during commercial break handed them the I've been like, congrats you won, and then ran away. Wow. And they were like, no, give these backsies. Give them back. You can Venmo us. Yeah.

Yeah. So, man. Well. Yeah. Well, it's all right. Yeah. Well, one cool thing is all, it was you, Becca and Tanya and then Jana, and who was the other one?

I was going to say it's all female podcasts, which is great. At that table, yes. Oh, okay. Yes. Otherwise. There was other podcast nominated. Yeah, yeah. But they weren't there.

I don't know if they got the invite. Got it. Jonathan Van S. I'm sure he did. He's on tour, though. But so is I, but I made it work. All right. I'm not going to lie to you.

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Oh, I saw it on your story It's not that embarrassing But it's I'm a little mortified So you know when you see people on TV And you think you're friends with them All the time Okay

And so I think that happens to some people with me Because they watch my social media all the time And they're like hey And then they're like, oh, it's you. I did that to them, but I didn't stop there. I just walked right up to the Kardashians. Which one specifically? All of them.

Okay. There was Kim, Courtney, Chloe, and Chris. Oh. And I walked right up and I was like, hey! And they looked at me and went, hey! And I don't know if they're just being nice or if they watched a show. I don't know. Apparently they watched the show, so I'm going to pretend that they know who I am.

And, well, I said, I fall asleep to you guys. night it's so comforting and Courtney was like thanks and they all just like looked at me like she cray yeah like what random fans snuck backstage but I know I know they all watched the show so I was just praying that they knew who I was and Courtney really I Courtney really looked at me like she knew she was like it's good to see you yeah so I'm like yeah and then I started bowing down to them oh my God yeah I did not play it cool I didn't I totally them I fell asleep to them and they were comforting to me and then I bowed down. I literally

started bowing to them and then Jason was like, let's go find our seats and I was like, oh god, bye Sue never we're not worthy we're not worthy we're not worthy we're stuck

that is I mean you know what I'm sure they've seen it before yeah they've had that moment yeah sure and how's that's actually kind of sweet that you did that is it sure they loved sure i'm gonna bowed down to you right now i mean sweet didn't that feel good no okay it's a little weird i mean i'm sure it wasn't the first time somebody's bowed down to them or told them they watched

their show but like they're so there's such a presence like them Gwen stephanie was oh my god did you see her i did i love i love her and she's from orange county i am too so i have a special spot in my heart for her and she seems very down to earth yes she her and blake are just so cute and it was so funny because jason i showed up a little late to the red carpet which i think you should do because nobody likes to be the eager beaver that goes to the red carpet and everyone's like oh look at them they really want this moment they're still setting up cameras yeah that happened to be once at the cma's but i got my best picture a moment out of that with you yeah that dress we'll never forget that sometimes if you go late there's so many people there that they're just kind of rush you

through and you don't get your moment. I kind of had that because it was like, we walked in and it was Gwen Stefani and then Pink and then us. Oh, and Hannah B in there. And so I was like, oh, people are going to boo by the time I get there. It would be like, oh. Yeah. Oh, it's like the stragglers at the end, like the little like, you know, they were excited.

I saw the footage. They were excited. It was, it was special. But it was so funny because I'm like about to walk the carpet and just. Jason's so cute because he's like, this is your moment and, like, wanted to, like, you know, film me going because I was nominated. He's so cute like that. Like he was like, let me walk with you. He was like, let me get the footage behind the scenes.

Really cute. But they kept- Do you want him to walk with you, though? Well, yeah, of course. Well, I don't know. Oh. Well, I would say no. Well, because you all have your moment to walk through this one part of the carpet where you get your photo together and separate.

So we both got our moment, you know? I feel like that moment that you had was very Julia Roberts, Notting Hill. He's Hugh Grant working in a bookshop. in the cutest way. You know what I mean? That's low, sweet. I do know what you mean. Respect for him.

Obviously, he's killing it in his world. Exactly. That was your, like he said, your mom in. Yeah. And he knew that it was real. Let the press love on you and let him just be admired, you know, for being with you. Yeah. And he was just so sweet about it.

But also people are like, but Jason, hey, get in there. You know, it was great. It was a great balance. but the funny part was when I'm like walking they're like all right go ahead no just wait and then they pushed me off to the side because Gwen came through and then I'm like I'm about to go again and they're like ah just hold on hold on push me aside again because pink's coming through which very like of course I will take a knee to those too you do on the carpet just I just took one knee out yeah yeah yeah I just

waited until it was my turn patiently but it was really really cool to be in the same like room as these people and on the carpet with them and just being like like I wanted to be like I'm not I'm nominated too but if you think about it like all these people like Gwen Stefani's just a girl probably worked to urban outfitters singing in her garage pink has short hair and sings she she gives pink a lot more credit than that she's on a freaking trapeze oh no she's the most talented person you should have heard her speech it was the most meaningful thing she was like saying like I don't care about your politics I care about your children I don't care about like it was

I was like in tears standing up like yeah Jason like loves her so he was just so impressed by her and she she's just a powerful empowering woman and she was there with her kids it was really cute and sweet but her and daughter really cute together they're so cute um but pink said one time like I was listening to her in an interview on TV one time and she said like she can't believe her just being herself got her to where she is because she said her and her dad both thought it would get her in jail And now here she is just like an icon. Do you remember when pink was kind of like more like street and like more like usher vibes?

Like she was more like. Is she usher vibes? I mean, sure. Or I'm trying to pussycat doll. Like she was a little bit like, remember that song. There you go. Look at pit to foe. Like she kind of rapped a little bit.

She was definitely more like R&B club like first pink song. I remember thinking. I did a hip hop dance. Hip hop. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I forgot about that. Pink.

Yeah. So, I mean, so then she kind of came into her own and had this power vocal. There you go. Oh, what is that song? There you go. There you go. I don't need to bring it up. Yeah, I'm going to bring it up.

It's so good, though. But, yeah, she transformed and found more of her voice and like she can. She's so talented. There you go. Oh, my gosh. I did a hip-hop dance to this. Oh, and look at her too. Uh-huh.

Sounds like Destiny's Child. No. Oh, it sounds like TLC, Destiny's Child. No scrubs Look at her little skateboard Yeah Oh yeah Classic pink

I love a good transformation story She found herself as an artist You transformed too Have I? I remember Yeah you were wearing urban outfitters On the carpet My God

You know I really was Doing your own makeup Putting on some freaking Lipsmackers Before you hit the carpet A little bit of freaking banana boat on your arms.

There's Struggle City, USA for you. And then you had your swan moment. Got your hair done, lashes. Oh, my God. And she looks incredible now. What a glow-up story. Can we take a moment, listeners, out there, and appreciate a good glow-up of a woman. It's like, talk about a transformational story.

It's really, it's very, it gives everyone hope. Gives us all a little bit of hope. You act like. I was just the worst. A potato with some hair. And she's now a freaking swan getting looks, showing her clavicle. But she didn't even have a clavicle bone when I met her. She didn't.

It was covered. And God knows what. It was just skin. Just, yeah, lots of layers of skin. And she had it removed. You have got to just all this surgery. I just maybe I'm going to cough That was so cute

I really did have a moment I just didn't understand the world And why would I? It was so cute I was so innocent I was like oh I get to go to the red carpet I better pull out my best maxi dress The one from Mexico you know the one Yeah I mean it was cute though not going to lie I loved it

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Oh, yes, she's all that. I had a she's all that moment. I was just a scrubby little nerd coming into the big league. Actually, I would say you're more of a she's all that because I was going to compare you to Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kiss. Josie Grosie? No, Josie Grosie. But I can't do it because.

Rachel is it what's the actor Rachel Lee Cook yeah but if you remember her as a nerd was just like hot it was like her like glasses yeah she's still like smoking hot everyone was like ooh like she was actually like what a fucking troll and it's like she has glasses on and like a top knot and she had like remember she was like an artist she's gorgeous yeah like that's her is it what a hideous beast look at her we're looking her up obviously right now but she is literally like that's me on a good day right there but in the movie she was a troll that was considered a troll back then they were like how are we going to fix

that they're looking around they showed the worst kind of girls and they're like her just like a cute girl with glasses on like literally it was and I remember the sister like with Freddie Prince Jr. sisters she's like I have my work cut out for me

like I don't know I'm going to turn this trash and all she did is like pluck three hairs put some freaking lip gloss and threw a skank dress on her and I did that too and that's what you did to me at the end of the day at the end of the day I'm just Rachel Lee Cook with smaller tits because she's got some serious boobs they're great yeah yeah yeah that's me that's the story of Caitlin Bristol there no but I wanted to play this when you walk down the steps yeah to show Jason what you're wearing and you're no longer

beastly and you're incredible and I don't trip like she does though because I'm past that yes you are this is what I hear in my head oh I got chills oh my gosh I got chills oh I can't we'll be right back with more off the line great therapy if you like my show then you're going to love the good life with Stevie and Cizan think about when You're sitting around the living room talking with your best friends. That's what you'll get on The Good Life. Stevie and Cizan chat about life, love, and everything in between. You're guaranteed to laugh, cry, and have something inspiring to take away at the end.

Download new episodes of The Good Life with Stevie and Sazan every Wednesday on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts and Podcasts 1. Now back to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. I think I'm really, I'm fighting a cold here. But when I laugh that hard, I just start like horking and it's really not. I've never heard that word. That's because I made it up. Oh. I have to start hacking.

I love horking though. You can feel free to use that. Horking up a lung over here. Oh, God, with your freaking Trump language. My God. I really needed this laugh today. Me too. Really delirious.

Yeah, I feel a little delirious. Like, we just went on an hour. ran to Rachel Lee Cook and how I was like a troll into a swan from my red carpet moments. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. You were a little bit leading up to the event. It was a little nerve wrecking, little nerve wrecking getting to the finish line. Can I say, can I say what happened a little bit?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, so we're getting ready, right? Caitlin's in this beautiful hotel in Beverly Hills, the same place where Whitney Houston has died. Yeah. It's an iconic hotel.

Yeah, it's a big one. A lot of red carpet stars get ready there. Anyway, the makeup artist is there, but we were pressed for time. Yeah. So she did a great job with the makeup. Yeah. I'm sorry. She actually did kill it.

She killed it, but there was a moment. And she has, she'll know to. She knows. But when I said, oh, we might want to bronze up the chest a little bit. Oh, yeah. Because you were so, it's such a wide neckline open and the clavicles were showing. Yeah. So you had to really shine, like show that.

Put some glimmer, some shimmer, bronzer, and contour. But I think she went in with a makeup and it was, okay, so Caitlin Bristow's skin tone, I'd say is like, I don't know, who could I compare it to? Julia Roberts, Carmen Electric, a white person. Yeah. I think the color that she chose to use was more of like a Whoopi Goldberg or a Lupi to Nyango. No, because it was literally so dark. And she puts it on your chest. And I was like in a rush.

And I looked at it and oh. So the Gaila goes, I think it's a little dark for my skin tone. And I go, yeah. And it was like kind of like weird lighting. So then she steps out. and it's literal like it's it's like dark chocolate on her skin um so then it looked like it looked like full on dirt yeah a little mud moment so then of course you start getting nervous because cleo uh katelyn's manager is texting and she's like two minutes like if you're not

if you don't leave in two minutes you're not you shouldn't come yeah just look a flight back to Canada. Quit your podcast. Quit everything. Give up. You dumb bitch. I know. So back to being nerdy racially. Put your hair back in a top knot and put those glasses back on.

I know. So you're feeling that pressure. Me too. So then I felt bad. But then you started getting the chest irritation. When baby gets flustered, she gets the redness on the chest. So then we don't know what her real. skin color is at that point to match because it was just red red and black red and black yeah

oh good and then wait i still had a spray tan that i hadn't showered off yet so then she goes to wipe it off yeah we wanted to wipe it off and which was going to wipe off my spray tan i started having to panic attack she's like wait because katelyn still thinks i just spent on a spray tan so i don't she's like hold don't take a white like i think the fudge on your skin though is going to ruin it regardless, but we figured it out. But it ended up pulling off and looking great. I honestly don't know how that happened, but you get a wet towel and we blotted you down. Yeah.

And she threw some magical stuff on you. I don't know. She went and reached deep into her kit, deep into the archives. Yeah. And then splashed it on you. And it looked, you looked like sunkissed J-Lo. Yeah. And it matched your skin.

Yeah. I was like, oh my God. It's a Cinderella story. That is a Cinderella story. That was, yeah, getting to that finish line, though. Oh, I'm actually sweating. And then she had put, I'll say this too. She had put, Caitlin, it put the dress.

I think you put it on between like your chest being inflamed red and with a little bit of mud. And then you had put the dress on. And I think you put on so quick. And you're like, lo, it doesn't fit. And I'm like, what? What do you mean? It doesn't fit. And I walked in, Caitlin's left breast is completely out.

And the other side is normal. normally like covered and everything but the dress for some reason was just it was like cinched in the wrong area or something but it was like I don't know my whole left boob was out like she was about to breastfeed yeah and it looked like and it was like kind of surrounded by fabric like it was like a harness for her tit yeah it looked like you know that little little Kim moment where she put like a yeah like it looked like I just needed a nipple cover for like the little Kim purple star moment like holy shit low everything Well, that's what you get from, I'm like, I trust you, see you in the morning.

Have my dress ready for me. But you know what? I went to, you know, it worked out great and it looked incredible. You looked incredible, Caitlin. Well, thank you. Getting to the finish line, though, people don't know, like what goes on and stuff and there's hair flying and mud being thrown. Yeah. I'm sure.

I would love to hear, like, celebrities' worst red carpet moments or like, like, what's this? Jeff, my producer, decides to pull up this picture where it's a hot mess from a far. It looks like freaking nacho cheese mixed with like silly stream and throw up. But up close, it's a work of art. A woman sitting next to a pond in a calendar. Yeah, you're right. That is the picture we were painting of what that's going to be how I promote this podcast. I'm just going to post that photo on social media and be like, this is a description of the podcast.

If you look close enough, though, something pretty amazing. Something good will come out of it. Do you have any red carpet, can you not moments? Red carpet. Like when you see people on the carpet with their gowns and they do something, you're like, oh, can you not? You know, yeah, I do see it. But the thing is, I have a hard time, like, judging fashion. Like, as a stylist, I'm like, there's someone who thought that ugly dress is beautiful.

Yeah. And it might work. There's some, like, sometimes I see a dress. I'm like, wow, that is like not flattering. Right. What a weird thing to wear. Yeah. But I think, and I'm like, okay, there's a stylist or someone behind that.

Someone behind that. And then you just slip them your card. Idius. Yeah. DM them. Let me, I'll be with you. But no, I have to say, I mean, for the most part, the only thing I don't love is if someone looks like they just don't care.

I don't think that's cool anymore. Yeah. You should care. Yeah. It's cool to care. Like, if you're going to an event, like, try. Yeah, because it's like an honor to be there. I think, yeah.

Yeah. So unless you're like, I don't know, if Leo DiCaprio showed up in a freaking Rolling Stones tea and some gap jeans, I'd be like, chic fashion, GQ called. He's the cover. He's iconic. If I did it. Yeah, homeless. You'd be like, classic Caitlin. Classic Caitlin, going back to the roots.

Going back to her Ladoo, Alperda, wait. No offense to anyone. Oh, gosh. Oh, shh. Oh, shh. No, I mean, you should have seen my style when I lived back in Alberta. We're talking 2000 or 1998, like that time. Yeah, totally.

Yeah. Gosh. Oh, me too. I was wearing puka shells and. Oh, the puka shells. But then I was like, I'm edgy because I went to Hot Topic like once. Oh. And I was like, I'm super edgy now.

Hot topic wasn't a thing in Canada. No. We had something similar to that. Spencer's. San Francisco, it was called. Or I think there's one called Cherry Bomb. Same thing, though. Yeah.

Lo, I just, we need to wrap up this grape therapy, but we're going to continue this into tomorrow's episode of Drunkdow because there's so much more to talk about with the People's Choice Award. And I just have to stay in this room talking to you. We're on a roll right now. Coming in hot. We are fire right now. So we got to keep this going. But thank you for joining me for grape therapy.

I'm honored to be here always. I love it. I love your listeners to you. When you guys DM me, I really appreciate it. Yeah, people love you, Lo. Like, I get the most requests for you. No. No, I'm not joking.

Oh. Well, because this is why I, like, don't breathe laughing and you just spit straight fire. Dragon. Okay, so we'll see you tomorrow on Drunk Dial. Perfect. I'm back. Your session is now ending. Thank God.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on Podcast 1,000. com the podcast one app and subscribe on apple podcasts who's done with o tv this week's grape therapy is sponsored by lecroy lecroy sparkling water is available nationwide for a full list of retailers visit www www.lacroi water.com quip if you go to get quip.com slash off the vine right now you'll get your first refill free

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