Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: The Bachelor Bricap

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

Kaitlyn is joined this week by her good friend, Bri Cook and the two recap another week of The Bachelor. They teach us a valuable lesson on why you shouldn’t work where you also party. They talk about all the new drama between the girls, how they think that Peter is in love with Hannah and their predictions for the coming week! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. We're on with OTV. Podcast One Presents Off the Vine, Grace Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin.

I feel like we need a jingle for Bachelor Recaps. Bachelor Recaps. The Bachelor Recap. Is that it? Da da da da. Da da. Sonal sao. Son o's on.

My gosh. I watched The Simple Life on, I think it was on Netflix or something. What? Yeah, I can't remember where I saw it, but I watched The Simple Life Parison. Nicole and it just not like onions smell like onions I watched that one we wanted to be them so bad so badly until they broke up their friendship and then we're like that's not us yeah and now Nicole Reggie's thriving as a mom as a business owner a really big fan yeah Paris Hilton I saw something so funny on Instagram the other day she was like posting on Instagram and her mom was like Paris please call me we're trying to get a hold of you and then her next post her brother was like yeah her next post her brother was like seriously Paris something's happening we need to get a hold of you Oh my God, that's how they talk. I love how all her posts have, like, sparkles.

She puts a video instead of a picture, but it is just the picture and she adds a sparkle effect. Hey, guys. My question is, does it get likes or views? I don't know. Who knows, really? You would ask that. I have two margaritas sitting in front of me. You do.

You have a neutral. Yes. Because we're out of spade and sparrows wine. Well, we drank it all last night. We drank it all last night. not feeling so hot today i actually feel great today i really don't you have a brist over that's what jason's mom calls her hangover when she drinks my wine oh she's got i mean i feel great it's so crazy how your wine doesn't produce a hangover oh yeah i guess i should it's all

organic no hangovers i promise zero alcohol means no it's juice uh anyways yeah so we're in calgary i guess i haven't said who it's brie with me everybody should know that we it's the Breakap. Bachelor Breakap. And we're in Calgary and there's snow on the ground. It was minus 39 last week. But we're talking about the weather and we're better than that. It's not minus 39 anymore.

So are you into the season of The Bachelor? Yeah. Well, okay, I always get so excited. And then when I watch it, I wonder why I'm watching it, but I can't stop. Yeah. I think that's every season. Everyone's saying like, the season's boring. I'm like, guys, everyone says that every season.

Oh, there's Seb. Hi, Seb. Hi, Sue. Hi, cutie. you want to come in here and say hi come here for a time you having a yogurt drink yeah are you having a yogurt drink yeah um what do you recording a podcast can i ask you a couple questions yeah okay um right now what's your favorite movie um brave brave yeah and she's your favorite princess right

yeah how come um because i like her yeah because she's brave yeah yeah marida right yeah that's great do you love having auntie katie here yeah yeah i love being here with you mm-hmm how's your yogurt milk good that's good thumbs up and and tell auntie katie what you know about the bachelor oh yeah well people make new friends there yeah they do make new friends there and you made a jason your friend yeah that's how i met jason my friend you're right sweetie yeah yeah maybe one day you'll go on the bachelor make friends no yeah well maybe i one day maybe not yeah maybe not though right but why did the um like um dog sit on the cup why because it's bummer

stinging in the water wow good one you know what i usually tell jokes on the podcast and now i don't have to because you told the good one for me yeah And I'll tell you jokes every time. Okay, perfect. Maybe I should call you every time I do a podcast and you can tell me a joke at the end. Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, that sounds good.

Love you. Love you. Bye. I love hearing his little voice over the microphone. Anyways, what were we saying? Just how we sometimes think it's boring, but then we watch it. Everyone says that I remember thinking Ari's season was super boring at first. And I'm really sure we said that on your podcast.

And then, wow, what a turn of events that was. Mm-hmm. Same with Colton. I feel like it's all just kind of predictable. I mean, every season, it's so funny because the format stays the same. There's always like, you know, the drama between usually a pageant girl. Someone says she's fake. She's not showing her true colors to Peter.

There's always like some sort of physical fighting date. Oh, I can't stand that. No, I was really disappointed in the pillow fight and lingerie. first of all I'm big fan of lingery now I'm never calling it lingerie in my life again it's lingery thanks kiera gosh it's amazing but yeah it's I just was

I was a little disappointed and disgusted I'm like really pilafite in lingerie there's no way demi actually made that up right no no no no no they just pretended she did but yeah it was I don't know aren't we past this it's degrading I know but at the same time one guy's dating 20 girls so

right so but I would have been stoked to be the one who got the moo-moo I would have been like yes that's my boob won't pop out and I don't have to worry about my cellulite showing and I was totally and can I keep it and I've got me and you just rock your confidence in it yes because I was totally about the moomoo I think I tweeted that I was like I don't even think I would have participated in the pillow fight I just would have taken a pillow like laid down in my mu-moo and taken a loss I'd be like

you know what what did the winner even get she got a crown on her head that's She didn't get like more alone time with Peter. She just got a freaking crown. But I thought it was so weird that Sidney got so mad that Alleya won because I'm like, who cares? I wonder if Sidney smiles. She's always so serious. That's why she hates Alea. She's like, are you always this happy?

She should have been like, are you always this angry? Yeah, why are you mad at me? Why are you so obsessed with me? Why are you mad, bro? Do you even, like, work? That's so funny because that used to be, like, the main question I got after I came off the show. All the trolls on Instagram would be like, get a job. Do you even work?

And then Sidney was trolling. Are like, do you even work? And we're like, Sydney, you're not going to work in two months. Yeah, at least two months. You're good. Your work will be Instagram. And then we're going to leave comments. Do you even work?

Yeah. I'm going to troll her so hard. Do you work? You're like, also, do you want to come on my podcast? Yeah. That's work. That's work. No, I'm sure she's nice.

She just seems like she's always almost salient. Well, yeah. So do you own or rent your home? I'm sure you do. And I bet it can be hard work. You know what's easy is bundling policies with GEICO. Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renters insurance along with your auto policy. It's a good thing, too, because you already have so much to do around your home.

Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. it's geico easy visit guyco.com today that's guyco.com what else happened in the episode the um the champagne finasco oh yeah the champagne finasco i was like what is what the mispronounce damn it karma instant mispronounced words mispronunciation yeah it was it was a lot and it helps it was two but i always keep the subtitles on on my tv so it always makes me locked her because I was like, she definitely said finasco. Did they put finasco? Yeah. No way. Yeah. And they spelled lingery like dash why like she said lingerie. It was so funny. Yeah. But the lingery and the finasco. What was the finasco? What was the fanasco? What? And then, um,

Kelsey goes, it's not about the champagne. I don't even like champagne. I said, oh, what? That's what you got mad about. I started laughing so hard. And she's like, it's not about the champagne. I don't even like it. I was like, what? What is it about what? I think two people just decide they don't like each other. And they made it about something. Yeah. And neither one can just be like, wow, I acted a fool.

I'm so sorry. Let's get over this. Yeah. Why not? It's because they're quite young. They don't know how to communicate yet. Yeah. Yeah.

It'll happen later in life for them. Learn to say, I'm sorry. Yeah. I just thought it was so funny that she doesn't even like champagne. Like, why did you? She was like, it was special to me. It was on the counter for over a year. I want to know.

I want to know what the champagne box. because I'm probably like it's probably something sad and then we're all going to feel like assholes you know maybe she just was walking by one day and she's like oh that's on sale I'll get it yeah it was really special because she held on to it so I'm feeling like it's got to be like a very expensive like a dom or something because because why else would you get so mad at someone opening up your champagne I don't know tension and emotions are they run high in that mansion but that was a little aggressive well I you know what if I'm not quite done my wine and then somebody like takes it and washes the cup the glass I feel like I'm going to snap I'm like

that's my wine I totally get that like at a restaurant oh yeah when they take away and there's a sip of wine left I'm like whoa whoa whoa I'm not done like that is okay I get it Kelsey you know what Kelsey I want to Kelsey that totally makes sense I'd be that pissed too don't mess with the girls food or wine she will forever be famous for her champagne spousing her in the face which you tried to reenact last night, and it didn't work. I know, I really tried. You know what? I think somebody had to have shaken that shit up because...

Oh my God, that they just really set her up. They really did, but jokes kind of on the producers and everyone else because it landed with the world. And is she owning it? If I were her, I'd own it. I don't know. What is her name again? Kelsey?

Kelsey. Ooh, I have bad memories of a Kelsey on my season. Oh, right. Kelsey Pooh. But do we know, do we know... Poo. Kelsey Pooh. Do we know what Kelsey's last name is on the show?

Nope, Kelsey, no. Kelsey, we don't know your last name. I'm trying to look her up. It'll probably come up. Kelsey Taylor? No. But she too is an Instagram model. Yeah, shout out to that girl.

Do we know how it's spelled? Probably E. We're? Kelsey Wells. Oh, I think this is her. Kelsey. Yeah, this is her. Oh, I can't find her.

Oh, she follows me. I should follow her back. Oh. But will you? I don't know yet. Calling you out. Depends how far she goes on that. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. Okay, wait. Is this her? Because look, she's posing with a champagne glass here. It's got to be her. Oh, yeah. Note to future self.

Never drink cheap champagne straight from the bottle. Yep, she's owning it. Okay, I like that. She looks really good. Yeah, she looks great. Okay, Kelsey, I'll follow you. Done. We like you.

We do like you. Okay. So I actually, okay, we're, now we understand. I'm glad we talked through that. But they didn't get over it. it's like not resolved like i'm i'm hoping this is done because now they're definitely who's the other girl she was fighting with hana ann oh yeah hana ann hana ann she started crying too she was like i would never steal anybody's champagne once me if like our fights over 20 totally yeah makes sense yes

especially when you're like fighting to date the same guy yeah i get it's funny we're like i'm like after we're talking through this i kind of understand all their crazy emotions now like okay but now they're they quickly were like let's wrap this up and get on to but she said it was a laia a laia no no i always want to say alia but it's clueless a lea it's a lea okay oh speaking to clueless um alicia silverstone was at the same boy oh really yeah she was just sitting at the bar with us and i was like as if i should have said that or like whatever loser will will uh will feral was hosting the podcast awards and all I wanted to do is pass him and go hey you're right milk was a

bad choice but it chickened out he'd be like uh he'd be like wow that was the 18th time I heard that today yeah good one Caitlin he said to Randy Jackson what's up dog yeah I wonder if I were told that as a confession on my podcast he looked like at me like real original he made eye contact with me and my first immediate thought was to say sub dog he had no idea who I was I'm like in some little New York fashion week after after party and he's with like a crew too and it's just me sub dog I immediately regretted it right after I'm pretty sure you texted me right after and you're like he was not impressed I mean if that was me I would I would just laughed in face.

Don't laugh at my face. My own face. We'll be right back with more Ostavine. Grape Therapy. This is Austin Vine. Grape Therapy.

Okay. What was it? What was the next? Oh. Alaya. Alea. Greg. Alea.

Okay. First of all, Sidney totally pulled her hair. In the pillow fight? Isn't that what you're supposed to do in pillow fights? Um, I think on that show, like maybe you shouldn't. Does she have hair extension?

I don't know, but I just think pulling anyone's hair is Rudy. Yeah. Well, smacking people in the face with a pillow is also Rudy. Did you get any flash? I didn't know if you were going to bring it up. I got major flashbacks. Oh my gosh, we have to confess this. This is bad.

You know what? We also, I don't feel like we had a choice. Well, we were also 18 years old. Super stupid. didn't like have a grasp on life yet or like morals we just were like we need to make money we were just trying to make basically we and nothing against strippers weren't we we were not strippers we were not strippers but we were close um we worked at a bar called cowboys yep which doesn't exist in edmonton anymore it doesn't no it's still in calgary it's a very popular bar in in the prairies

no bird and uh it's known for if you work there long enough you the the owner will buy you a boob job we didn't work there long enough clearly did not work there long enough um you wear a little tiny crop top bras and jeans with a cowboy hat and when the song comes on by kid rock cowboy yeah you have to get up on the bar yeah the bar and shake your butt yep oh wow you know what it really shaped us though we got some weird shit out of our system and uh no we only wanted to work there because we'd always go party there and have to wait in line for like an hour so we decided to get jobs there so that when we wanted to party there we didn't have to wait in line and that's how I got fired because I partied there instead of when I was supposed to be working you're like I'm sick

and you showed up to the bar and they're like you're not sick What an idiot. Anyway, so the one time had a, a night that if you were on the schedule, you had to wear lingerie instead of your cowboy jeans and hat. But we were put on the schedule. So then you kind of don't have a choice. No, we went to. It's like quit or come in.

So we went and bought lingerie for like 150 bucks. Yeah, which is. I think I spent more on the lingerie than I made that night. Yeah. And then they were like, okay, they didn't tell us this part until we were there. they're like, hey, now all the server girls are going to do pillow fights. And you and I were pillow fighting and we were like, oh, my God, kill me. And there is a photo.

Which if anyone saw, they wouldn't even recognize us. No, we looked. We wore, like, you know if you were to grab a piece of chalk off of the chalkboard? That's what we used for lipstick. Yeah, the powder donut look. We had really aggressive tans, bleach blonde hair extensions. Oh, kind of like what I've known. Um, and, and I think I was like, I definitely still had baby fat.

Oh, like my face was, my face was baby fat anymore. Mine was just like Caitlin ain't dancing seven days a week anymore and eating McDonald's three meals a day. That was both of us. Yeah, sure, baby fat. Uh, but we were pillow fighting and there's a picture and that, it is a low point for us. I don't think it's going to get out because, um, I don't know. Before I moved here, I got Nick to shred a bunch of pictures that I was going through

boat albums. I'm like, why do I have pictures of this? And I was like, I don't need to see this. Yeah. And then he, he really was like, I was like, please don't look at half of those pictures. He's like, I did. And you're still together. Of course. He doesn't care. He's like, he's like, I laughed. I laughed at you. I would love to know what Jason would say because he'd probably be like, um, you know what if I heard stories from your college days. That was you know, 15 years more. It was 15 years ago. More than 15. It's 2000. No, that was 50. People don't forget. People don't forget you don't forget that was like it's great that's so funny because i'm like judging the pillow fighting contest i'm like damn and i was doing the same but we didn't do it on tv i mean they didn't have a

choice either because yeah they well that that one who said alia she was like i wanted to fight and show you how much you mean to me it's like you don't have to fight another you can just be fun and be like he he ha ha ha ha ha who won right a note right right no okay all right so whether you're already a fan of wellness and lifestyle site goop or just curious about wellness topics that push the boundaries you're going to want to watch the goop lab with gwyneth paltrow which launches on netflix january 24th so in episode one gwyneth says we're here one time one life how can we milk the shit out of this which hey i completely agree with gwyneth is curious about all types of wellness topics and will take you on the journey with her to find out more each episode is 30 minutes

and covers a different topic, whether it's mental, physical, spiritual, or sexual health. So if you're curious about topics like female pleasure, anti-aging, energy healing, and psychics, all of which, yes, yes, I definitely am, you're going to want to tune in with me. The Goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow launching on Netflix, January 24th. But wait, okay, she pulled her hair. Yeah, she definitely pulled her hair. And then it came down to between Sydney and Alea. And, well, because Sydney warned Peter that some of the girls are,

fake and then and then he she's so much going for her why is she doing this to herself i don't know he really likes her like you don't need to do that she's stunning sydney yeah yeah she is beautiful but yeah i kept being like don't ruin it be cool because it's like here's my thing with the bachelor anyone that goes snickering to the bachelor it's like it got a ballsy move it could go either way but you know that they're gonna yeah but unless it gets to the end and that person still there they're okay then have that conversation yes then have the conversation but this early like let him figure

it out he's going to see through it eventually yeah just let him figure it out i mean but then he throws her under the bus and he's like totally said someone's not fake who is it he says this it reminds me of brodie my nephew telling on my niece sidney mom send me home my hair gosh yeah she totally or peter totally threw under the bus and then she's like oh my god why did you do that And, yeah, and then she's like, it's a liar. Or Alea, it's Alea. And then they kind of worked it out. Yeah.

Alea and Peter. And then he went around the pool party asking everyone else, what do you think of Alea? And they were like, well, this is my chance to get a girl at the house. That's not me. Of course they're all going to be like, she, yeah, she's not real. What I found so funny was that he comes in. Peter has always bombed out this season.

He came in like, he's already so defeated. Sad air horn. He's literally. already defeated. Oh my gosh. Because I remember this. I remember like week three. You think everything's going to be fun and like everyone's going to be still cool, but that's when like shit starts. And so you're like drained. You're like, I don't want to deal with this. But you're like, and you lock and you're like, I want to have a pool party, but like I don't want to deal with this. But my favorite is that. He goes, yeah, I'm just too like not feeling it. I'm going to cancel the

the pool party. Yet stays and talks to every girl in her bikini. He's like nobody gets to swim. Yeah. Nobody swims. I'm just going to have one on ones with all the girls in their bikini one at a time and his cute little shorts they were they reminded me of the rocket pops yeah from the popsicles some a little what were they what were they called in the crescent dicky ds dicky ds dicky ds i loved when the dicky d came around does anyone know what a dicky d is i think so well canadians well it's a bike it's a bicycle and instead of the front of the bike it's a freezer full of popsicles it's the best the best they have ice cream trucks in america they have an ice cream truck here in calgary that place instead of playing like ice cream sounds yeah um it's still the ice cream like like sound but it but it plays

like pop music and it's always jalo on the floor it's like neer neer neer neer neer neer neer neer neer neer neer neer neer what but it's in that ice cream like jingly that's hilarious and then i'm like wait i know this song that's hilarious what else happened on this episode oh i was just going to say sydney got the group date rose but if not deserved if sydney or alea are not the final one or or one of them is not the bachelorette they're so going to be on bachelor in paradise oh yeah they're like 100 percent they think they just earned their spot yeah they did um see in paradise i was going to say victoria p had a one-on-one date also at a country bar also giving me flashbacks to cowboys take wait since when is pete a big cowboy he's like me and my boys come here every weekend

i'm like what it's literally like full of 80-year-old line dancing and this is your spot dope And I think they just got a two-for-one at that saloon. They're like, well, the first date will be there, and then the second date will be there with a pillow fight too. Oh, is that what I was? I don't know, but it seemed like the same place. God, come on, ABC. You got a bigger budget than that.

I didn't like that date. I thought it was so boring. I really, really like her. I like her, too. She's, especially because, like, she just seems so genuine. She's sweet. And you know, obviously, she opened up to us about having a really rough time and a ride, rough childhood.

Yeah. and she was just the fact that you can sit there that gorgeous and sweet and say that and be that vulnerable and admit your insecurities that you feel like you don't deserve someone like him like i just i feel like the whole world watching was probably like yes you do you do deserve it yeah and you're going to and then at that moment i was like new bachelorette new bachelorette she deserves it all or she could be the one yeah maybe she's the one okay but sometimes she looks so much like Demi, it freaks me out. Especially with her glasses on her, with her glasses.

But it's kind of in that cowboy hat, too. I was like, well, what? She totally looks like Demi. Who are you loving right now? I don't think I love anyone. Except for her. Yeah, she's like my front runner. Well, I thought the Madison was good, too.

People are all over her, including myself, for the fake account. I know, you're telling me that today. It's so funny, though. Like, it's not anything bad. That's not a real scandal. Yeah. It's not like she did something bad. It's hilarious and kind of like, no, she's just trying to build a brand.

I hope she owns it, too. just keep she did it she should she was like my girlfriend logged into my account she should just keep commenting on her own pictures totally that would be the best yeah that's funny Madison really liked your date again this week yeah you're so what you say she said genuine and beautiful or something yeah she should just keep doing it so funny that would be own your mistakes because that's funny yeah you can't try and cover that one up she's probably so humiliated, but that's not a real scandal. I think it's cute.

I heard the real scandal's coming up, but I won't say. Yeah, I heard about the scandal, too, with, what's her face? Victoria P? No, Victoria P is the one we just talked about. Oh, just kidding. Another Victoria? Yeah. Well, why do you think it's Victoria P?

Because she likes it. I don't know, but she's stuck with it now for all time. Everyone's going to call her, people still call Hannah B., Hannah B. Do you root for Hannah B and Peter to be together? What's your thoughts on that? um well obviously that would have been the shortest season ever yeah i think i wouldn't care i don't really care who he ends up with it's funny because i like i genuinely love peter jason and i are friends like instagram friends with him where we chat and like talk and he's just such a nice guy and but but through

this i'm like i don't feel like he's very present and he's kind of telling the girls all the same things because I think his heart is just so he doesn't want to hurt anyone it seems like he doesn't want to hurt anyone and he's just I think in the back of his mind Hannah's just in the back of his mind and I feel like it sucks because I don't know if we're going to watch a whole season where he just can't get to where he wants to get the way he felt with Hannah I also think he's really good at telling each girl something special and they all feel this connection really good connection with him and they all feel safe they're like wow like even alaya she's like thought she was so golden and then two seconds later he's like I need to talk to you

Yeah. I always lose my train of thought and it really concerns me. Peter. Do I have a brain tumor? No, you don't. That's what I start convincing myself because I'm. Okay. You're a hypochondriac. You just told me you think you need a knee replacement. I'm like, you probably need two days of physical therapy. Every time I go into airplane. You're not 80. You know what? I got to tell you something. Get some compression socks. I need a new hip. I need a new knee and a new hip. It's like, well, my grandpa got a new hip. I said to him, I mean, you were looking really good. Did you get a new hip? Oh, Katie Cat. All right. We all want to do the right thing to keep our bodies healthy in the long run. But even if we try really hard to eat the kale salads, drink the green smoothies, which,

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Visit ritual.com slash vine to start your ritual today. That's 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com slash vine. We'll be right back with more off the vine, grape therapy. Calling all Gleaks, you ask for it, and Showmance is delivering. Join former Glee stars and best friends Kevin McHale and Jenna Ushowitz as they take you behind the scenes with all the Glee tea and breakdown episodes from season one of Glee with former cast members, producers, and writers that brought the show to life. Be sure to subscribe to Showman's on Podcast 1, Apple Podcasts, and many other podcast apps

so you can get the new episodes every week. Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. What else happened? Oh, that's what I was saying. Peter just doesn't seem as into it and I kind of feel bad for him because he's such a, he's such a catch. I think he's just so. that really screwed him up when Sidney said that because

like he's obviously thinking about Jed and what happened with Hannah Hannah Byte and And you can never know what people are coming on this like Everyone nobody is there just to meet the guy Like remember when he comes sits down all flustered And he's like if anyone's here for the cameras or the show Then like leave and Evan

Evan made a tweet like all girls get up and leave Imagine shows over folks Like oh I mean, come back. It's great if we fall in love. But right now at this point in the journey, I'm here for the cameras. I have a question. So first of all, I also don't like the, I feel like I'm really coming down on Sydney here.

But I feel like I don't like the accusation that someone's fake or not real. Yeah. Because it's like. That could be them. You don't know what that person's like yet. Yeah. That's true. And there's cameras around.

So it's like, is anyone completely 100% themselves on camera at the beginning? Maybe by the end, you sort of forget they're there. But it's still pretty new to them and they're like, I'm telling you what, everybody turns it on when the cameras are around. I would sit up straighter, be like, you're so alert and aware and you want to be on your best behavior.

How it can't be used against her? It can't. It's dumb. We're not trolling Sydney. We're just like trying to understand her. Yeah. Maybe they're best friends now. Maybe they're like, love you girl.

Yeah. You never know. People all make up after. Let me just see if they're following each other. Okay. We don't know their last names. Oh, yeah. But I'm sure there's only one, Alleya.

I feel like they pop up first when you're... Because I'm sure so many people have been searching them. Alea. Oh, she's verified. Benevides. She's got a great hair. Who? Alea.

Oh, yeah, she does. They all do. It's hard to watch sometimes because everybody makes me feel ugly. Everyone makes me feel like I have short thin hair. Oh, wait, I do. Sydney Nicole. Is that her? I don't know.

Is that her? Let me see. I think so. Yes, that's her, right? Those are her lips. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. God, she's so pretty. Yeah, she really is. I just want to, like, I just want to tell a couple jokes and, like, fart, and I'd be like, yes.

Yeah, she's smiling there. She smiles around Peter. Oh. Do you know any spoilers? Yeah. Okay, don't tell me. No, a little bit. But it's like, you never know if the spoilers are real or not.

But also, what is, Peter says that this season, it can't be spoiled. What do you think that means? It means he hasn't picked anybody. well wouldn't that be still be spoiled if it was found out he didn't pick anyone like how can you not know the ending how can it not be figured out i should just ask him that question well his mom messaged you today i know sweet barb we've got a question for you we sent the webbers some spade and sparrows and oh my gosh you should have gotten them drunk so that they spill the d well barb invited me over to share some spade and sparrows so maybe i just need to get barb a little tipsy

and figure out what's happening. Which one's your favorite, Barb? Who do you not want him to let go? Oh, yeah. Bring her home. Bring her home. She's probably hating that. She's like quit showing that.

No, she's probably talking about Ashley, the cow from Night 1. I loved Ashley P. Ashley P. So good. Oh, that's amazing. Bring her home. Yeah, I feel like she's talking about Hannah. God, I don't know.

Bring her home. And then also, Chris Harris. And they keep showing that clip of Chris Harrison being like, Peter, before you do what you're about to do, there's something you should know. We just found out. Let's fill in the blank. I think we should fill in the blank and try and guess. Of what they just found out. Okay. Rapid fire round. Here we go.

Okay. Me first. Oh, Peter. There's something you should know. We just found out Ozark Season 3 has been canceled. answer. Oh, no. He lays down and cries.

That's why he's on the bed. He's got like ice on his head. Nobody knows how to deal with that. We've all been waiting for it. Except me. I don't like that show. Don't he me. I love it.

Peter, we just found out. You're Nick Vial and a mask. He riffs it off. Nick's like, I needed one more chance. Damn it. Yes. Okay. Peter.

We just found it. out, Hannabee is actually your second cousin. Yes. Remember that ancestry test you took? Peter, we just found out the woman you're about to propose to is a person who collapsed on the plane lands.

Oh, nope. Break up with her now. She claps when the plane lands or when a movie's over. You better break up with her. There's something you should know. We just found out. that it is actually pronounced lingery we asked to the french he's got to lay down and absorb that there's something peter there's something you should know we decided to go with mike

hashtag mike for bachelor it's over we saw the way you looked at annum we need a new bachelor that's why no one's going to figure out the ending because it didn't end yet just got convinced. I was like, oh, wait a minute. Has anyone stayed Mike lately? Yeah. We just found out the windmill has crabs. You might want to get yourself tested. It's crawling with crabs.

It's been infested with crabs. Get yourself checked out. Okay, Peter, we just found out. She doesn't even like champagne. Reconsider, please. Peter, we just found out you were not going on dancing with the stars this season. Oh, that would be a laydown.

Don't I know it? Yeah, you didn't cry about that. Nope. We just, Peter. Still not crying about it. That's that single tier doing. Peter, we just found out, the woman you're about to propose to crowds the boarding area.

She does not understand boarding zones. Oh. You get so mad with airplanes. So fired up, I'm like, you, I hate her. He would do as a pilot. Yeah, he gets it. Peter, we just found out Gigi Hadid wants to plow you. She follows you.

Slide those DMs to get out of you now. We just found out. Gigi Hadid started following you on Instagram. That's good. Okay. Peter, we just found out the cut you sustained on your head was actually fatal. None of this is real. you are dead

dark that one is morbid how do you follow that one up I don't that's how we finish it I've got two more though great Peter we just found out Jed had two girlfriends

this is going to get weird but two girlfriends okay last one Peter there's something you should know we just found out Alea is fake she is actually a robot she was created in a lab i'm so sorry she was created in a lab

that is not her real voice i'm so sorry my favorite was hannah's your second cousin really that's your favorite one well that would be a real twist yeah that would be that's why there's no um a spoiler because because no one wants anyone to know that oh you did it with your cousin four times yeah ABC involved the government at this point nobody can know anything you will be arrested, that's a crime. Actually, I think second cousin is not against the law.

That is your cousin. What's that from? Oh, me and girls. No, he's like my first cousin. You've got your cousins, then you've got your first cousins. No. No. That's not how it works, is it?

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and use my code vine that's v-E-R-I-S-H-O-P dot com with the code vine for 15% off your first purchase exclusions apply Bree and I were driving to where are we going oh we had to pick up a new Zoom recorder for this podcast because I forgot my at home like an idiot

and we were listening to old school hip-hop and Lil Wayne came on and he started his song by going macaroni and we're like why why did you shout out to macaroni and then you were like well i don't see why not yeah i was like i kind of kind of good it actually hot dogs cut up weeners and macaroni do you put ketchup on your macaroni that's a Canadian thing yeah um it's also not a French like a Quebec thing because Nick he's never been more disgusted with me than the first time he saw me put that or ketchup on my macaroni he was like

what are you doing and his dad is the same way like super italian too so french and italian and he's like he's so sebby do it five-year-old boy put ketchup on his macaroni and he was seb who taught you that and nick just throws me under the bus he's like it's all her i would never do that oh my god you're like tell on me to your dad like okay peter throw me under the bus okay so what do we see for next week next week's teaser is is um elia coming back it looks like she's crashing a group date because all the girls are like, what?

He really was full of regrets when he sent her home. So of course, either she's going to come back because the producers told her to or they were going to, like they were going to find a way. Well,

you never want to be convinced by someone else. You need to figure things out for yourself. She should come back if he needs to figure it out. But we don't know if he asks her to stay or not. And then Victoria F seems to get a one-on-one with Peter. And they show

this musician Chase Rice performing and then she goes oh my god that's my ex-boyfriend wait it's Alea's ex-boy no Victoria F has a one-on-one and then she's led into a crowd and it's like and here's the performer

Chase Rice and her face she drops and she's like that's my ex-boyfriend did she tell Peter that right away? I don't know I think it's like it just showed her saying that like in the preview I mean I'm not starting rumors but I think Chase Rice has a lot of ex-girlfriends in Nashville I don't even know who Chase

I met him one time at a bar And he said that he had a girlfriend of like eight years Maybe it was It can't be Victoria F No no no no no no no no I don't think so I think the girl that he was with broke up with him But anyway otherwise they're broken up now Yeah really curious to see what goes down with that

And That's fun again that's so funny Like producers did that It's not your fault If your ex-boyfriend is performing You didn't really not But is Chase Rice going to say anything Is he involved?

involved in this episode or does he just sing his jam and get off stage? I don't know. Why is it always a country singer? I never know who's performing. You got the cranberries. All right. Oh, my gosh. That was the best moment of my life.

I know. I wish it was with me and not Jared. Me too. I love you, I was still dancing. Seriously, that was the best moment. It is always country singers. What's that about?

I don't know. They're in L.A. Do you know the musicians have to pay to go on? No way. Yeah, because it ends up being worth it. It's exposure. And then the amount of downloads they get the next, like, it all makes sense. Yeah. I never even pay to it. I'm like, I'm going to fast forward through the music, so I don't care about watching two people slow dance. What if I end up singing on an epi? Then I will definitely fast forward. No, I'm just kidding.

FF and delete. Anyways. You should. You should. I'm not paying them to go sing on there. Yeah. They should be paying you. Yeah. No chance. Okay. Well, thanks for doing a recap with me. You're welcome any time. Really? Oh, even if I have to call you over the phone, you'll do a recap with me. Sure. Okay.

That's fun. Sure. Can you bring Seb and Vin on? Of course. Yeah, because Seb's intake on the Bachelor was fire. That was so cute. Well, there was a hot take. I'll just say the reason I said, what do you know about The Bachelor is because he heard

you and I talking about The Bachelor one time, but we weren't saying anything like risque. We were just like, what are you doing tonight? Oh, I'm going to watch The Bachelor, then like, go to bed or whatever. And then Seb said to me later, what's the Bachelor? And I was like, oh, it's a, it's a TV show. And he's like, is it a grown-up show? And I was like, yeah. And then he giggled.

He's like, I saw that guy on TV once. And he must have seen a commercial or something for it. And I was like, oh, you did? What do you know about that show? He's like, well, what's it about? And I was like, people go on the show to make friends, even though it's not here to make friends. And I was like, they go on the show to make friends. I said, find someone to love.

And he goes, oh, and like your friends, like making friends. And I said, yeah. And then I said, did you know Auntie Katie Katie went on that show? And he's like, oh, he was like confused. He was like, but we're her friends. Why does she need more friends? Yeah, she doesn't need friends from TV. You can always make more friends.

Yeah, I have made new friends. So that's why that was really cute. And that's how you know, Jason. Oh, a little sweetie angel. Yeah. Well, we're going to end this episode with, well, we're going to try and get venisoning, but we'll see you how he does. He might get stage fright.

He might. Or he'll try and eat the microphone. Yeah. But if anyone hasn't just watched my Instagram story, because he sings it all the time, and I record it. I need to make a way to, or find a way to exploit my child and make money off of that. You should. You should. Hit me up.

Hey, any child influencer, friends, hit me up. Send me some, I was going to say diapers, but my kids aren't in diapers. Yeah, they party dress. Send me some potties. What? Send me a potty seat. Send me up. What's those suit?

Send me a squatty potty. Okay, bye. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV?

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