Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: The Bachelorette Blues

Episode Date: June 13, 2019

Today, Jason Tartick joins Kaitlyn in giving their impressions of Hannah B's season of The Bachelorette so far. Having the beginning of game 7 coinciding with the recording, Jason and Kaitlyn make their allegiances known. And of course, we are all blessed with dulcet tones when Mama B GRACES us with her presence. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Grab a coffee and discover non-stop action with Bud MGM Casino.

Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of one with Multi-Drop. Once even more options, play our wide variety of table games. Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills only available at BetMGM. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario we're talking with o tv podcast one presents off the vine grace therapy kately bristow's going to answer your questions drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything bachelor let's shake it up some more here's katelyn have you guys ever thought about the fact that where you choose to live directly impacts the you that you become Apartments.com has the most listings, which means you have the most apartments, townhomes, condos, and houses to choose from to unlock your full potential and become the best version of yourself. You're in control of your rental future, not to mention they have custom search tools.

So if you're looking for something specific like pet friendly, commute friendly, sit on my couch and watch reruns because I have the place all to myself friendly, you'll find it. And there's more with Apartments.com. What you see is what you rent. They comb through their listings to make sure all the information is verified and up to date. That way, you're not wasting your sweet, sweet, precious time. They're making the hunting for a new place process of breeze. So send subpar rental search sites packing and visit Apartments.com to find your perfect place. Apartments.com, change your apartment, change your world. We'll be right back with more Off the Vine, Grape Therapy.

Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. everybody what's that from hello everybody hi everybody hi everybody hi dr nick i'm so bad at what's that from or who is that actor actually i'm so bad at you like a glass of peanut wine i would love one we're not drinking spade and sparrows yet because even i haven't got the pre-sales but but i did hear rumors today we'll be drinking it next week yes next week we will be drinking it so and and we earned this too today. Yeah, we did earn this today. We worked our tails off.

We were running a ton of errands. You can say tits on this podcast. And we, yeah, I mean, you can say anything. You call a guy in the bachelette Luke penis head. So apparently anything goes, I can't get over that. What? Doesn't that just flow, though? No.

Just rolls right off the tongue. We also played, so we finished a nice day of work and then running errands. And then we went for a nice run, played some tennis. today. Yeah. I had a blast. Wait, I never even said, welcome to grape therapy. Your session is now starting.

But you poured wine. I know, but I was going to throw off the whole podcast. All right. Do it. Do it again. Go. Ah, welcome to grape therapy. Your session is now starting.

Oh, it feels right. Wait. Wait, you forgot. What? I'm your host, Caitlin Brewster. No, that's on off the vine. Oh, see. Why?

You're talking quiet today. Am I? Yeah. Oh, okay. Quiet. Let's get a little louder. Oh. Too loud.

Too loud. Turn it down. Uh, anyway, so yeah, we played, we played, oh, tennis. Okay, I've lived here for two years, never played tennis on that court in my life. And it's on my property. Well, not my property, but the, the neighborhood. Weird. I've only taken dogs to play there and never played tennis.

It was so much fun, though. It was really fun. It was a blast. We're doing it again. I almost beat you. Almost. You were like chirping me a little bit for not being good. Yeah.

And then I almost beat you. You're very good at a lot of things. And you started off. It's pretty poor. but you turn it around I'm like was she sandbagging me well that's just what I do I don't mean to it's like any time like even when I start to go golfing the first swing I'm like oh god and I need to warm up yeah yeah most people do so that was that's what happened with with tennis for me is I just needed to warm up the old tennis elbow there you go isn't that a disease oh geez oh it's that disease

or um like a not a disease sorry arthritic thing yeah yeah I was trying to use tennis terms. Anyways, what else? Oh, right now I'm kind of freaking out. It's going to be a tough episode. It's going to be a really tough episode because I'm going to keep looking at the clock and I'm going to keep looking at NHL scores because the Stanley Cup playoffs is on and I realized it's Wednesday and I need a podcast to come out Thursday. Anytime Bachelor, Bachelor, I have Bachelor in Paradise is on. I do recaps on Thursdays. So just through this, I'm going to be checking the scores. And there's not many priorities that take precedence over hockey in our household. Right. I mean, we are.

are huge hockey guys do we have a money on this game um we are going for the blues big underdogs two to one underdogs okay it's hey how come it hasn't started yet the other the other thing is when we didn't live together we used to face time each other and sit on face time and watch hockey as well it's pathetic it's kind of funny though oh oh hey it's an aggressive cheers I have a question for you they don't drink into the microphone you're like sure sure you're about that guys i have a question for you what's it like living with me it is fantastic living with you it is fantastic living with you what are the what are some some roses and thorns of living with me some roses are being under the same roof being able to wake up next to one another and we have this thing

called power hour we wake up we grab a cup of coffee we'll sit in the office and just go to work on ideas things we have to tackle things we have to get done the time period in which we have to do So, love that. Love starting my day with coffee with you and ending it with wine. Roses, what's the thorns? Yeah, tell me the thorns. The thorns would probably be, are, we have totally like different styles. You can't tell me this house isn't gangster A.F.

You're very, very clean, but you have, like, you're big with, like, trinkets. You have, like, trinkets everywhere. Where I like, my style is, like, an apple store. I want, like, nothing and clean in white space. It's so modern and, like, Bachelor. Yeah, so sterile. But it's not comfy. Yeah.

It's not cozy. I think a blend of the two is good. Well, you're not going to get clean. Like, clean with no trinkets. I mean, we'll find a happy medium. I mean, we probably won't because. No, we will. I'm just kidding.

The kitchen, when we're going to reno this kitchen, we can make that nice crisp and clean. But otherwise, it makes it cozy to have a home with trinkets and photos and wallpaper. and curtains. Photos are good, but still just... Layering carpets and throw pillows. Like, I know you don't need 12 throw pillows on a bed, but I do. I'm okay with throw pillows on a bed. That's fine.

How many or too many? I don't know. With yours, I had to take a picture so that I could look at the picture so I knew how to make the bed because it's like a puzzle. All right. Let's hold up for a second. Let's talk about my favorite razor. It's finally swimming season, and being in the water really makes everything else melt away.

But even though body hair is totally normal, sometimes getting into a bathing suit requires a lot of legwork beforehand. See what I did there? This time of year, women rely pretty heavily on razors and if being totally hairless is going to help them get in the water and enjoy that amazing floaty feeling, so be it. That's where Flamingo comes in. If you haven't heard of Flamingo, they were started by a group of women at Harries, a men's shaving brand, who realized they were only using men's razors because there wasn't an option that felt right for them. Flamingo makes body care for women with hair. There's a great razor, shave gel, body lotion, the works.

I'm not kidding. It is actually the best body lotion, too. You should be out there having fun this summer. Hair removal can be a chore, and that's okay. But the Flamingo Shave set makes Shavey more enjoyable than ever. It's a $22 value, but for my listeners, it's $16 and chips free. Super easy. The Flamingo Shave set is your whole routine in one reusable pouch, including the parts you skimp on,

like shave gel and exfoliating lotion. I didn't really know how much I was missing that until I tried it. They even include a shower holder. The Flamingo Shave Set is the talk of the town these days. I don't know if you've heard people talking on the street, but they're talking about Flamingo. It's been in vogue, glamour, you name it. Try the Flamingo set this summer. It's a $22 value for just $16.

Free shipping today when you visit shopflamingo.com slash vine. One more time, that's S-H-O-M-I-N-G-O.com slash vine. What else is it going on? Should we do a little recap? What's a little recap? So, Mondays, we were with Hannah in Miami, because we had a, what was it, like a, I don't know, a red carpet event for this new show called The Grand, which I talk about. Grand Hotel. Sorry, it's not even the, wow, get it together, Caitlin, you promote this on your podcast, Grand Hotel, which looks like it's going to be a very good.

Looks like it's going to be a badass show. Yeah. Like drama, left, right, up, down, center. Oh, crazy. All of the regions. I still can't walk a red carpet. You? Yeah, let's not get to the recap yet.

Let's just back up the bus here and talk about you on a red carpet. So funny, but I hype you up. I'm like, get it, girl. Work it. Work those angles. I, like, the red carpets I go on are nothing big. It's not like we're at the, you know, Billboard Awards. I'm old news for that.

We're at the, actually, Ifalongoria, we shared the red carpet with her, and that was pretty cool. But I walk out there, and I'm like, I really fake it until I make it out there, and I will pose so hard and do all these different poses and like do over the shoulder and show teeth, not show teeth, cross my legs, uncross my legs, move along, move along. But I really, I don't really know what I'm doing either. Jason gets out there and he turns around and he goes, babe, what do I do? Well, and I've, we listen, I've done like a bunch of these red carpets off the show, but I still then didn't know what to do. I still now don't know what to do. It is the most uncomfortable thing in the world. You just walk on a carpet. You have 18,000 cameras,

screaming your name, how to like pose and look. It's just not my. There was three cameras. I have, I actually have a video of it, and there was 20 plus. Yeah, but that's because you. And then when we did the IHart Radio, there was literally a hundred plus. Okay, enough. So the point is, it's like the most, no, no, it's not bragging. It's putting in perspective for everyone out.

I am, your basic average guy next door, that is who I am. Walking a red carpet to me is still the most, like, ludicrous thing in the world. But you did, like, he put one hand on the hip and put out the other leg. like he almost you almost copied one of my moves i was like looking at you you kind of like told me leg out i'm like i don't know now with interviews i love interviews and i get them right they want to hear your perspective and talk to you fine but like standing there while there's 8000 flashes i'm seeing those like little black dots in my eyes what's so funny about you with the with the interviews though is you don't know how to wrap it up like you're such a talker and you're so well spoken

but you'll like go i disagree i disagree with that i think i i i get to the point and i and i say what I want to say. It takes you well to get there, though. Is it that you just don't like me out of the backseat if I'm talking? Don't, I don't like you in the back seat. No, I do like you in the back seat. No, I actually enjoy you being on the, doing any interviews with me because of how well spoken you are. I like what Garrett said. Garrett goes, I'm going to walk with Jason and just let him talk. Yeah. Oh, yeah, so let's paint the picture. We'd get right there, back of there. Kendall was there. We missed Joe. Ashley and J.P. Ashley J.P. And then Hannah. And then your girl crush, who you had. were freaking out about Eva Longoria.

That's another thing that I can't walk ride carpets and I still fan girl, fanboy. You really do? Like, I was almost like, reel it in. He goes, wait, we're going to hear a few bleeps here because this is what he said. Holy shit, it's her. I was like, oh, my God. I mean, who out there hasn't watched Desperate Housewives? Really?

I've never in my life watched an episode of Desperate. Oh, that was my thing with my mom. I had a crush with evil on Evangoria back in the day. And I still do. I get it. She's gorgeous, gorgeous. Oh, yeah. But I'm just laughing at, okay, so you watch Desperate Housewives as your mom.

That's adorable. That was the thing I did with my mom. Oh, I love that. And like, I used to just always tell my mom, Eve Longoria. So when I told my mom, Eva Longoria is there, she's like, oh, did you freak out? I was like, yes. She's standing there getting all her photos taken. And Jason's standing awkwardly next her on the red carpet and goes, do you think I

could take a picture with her? I'm like, no. We did that too at the Tiger Woods golf outing. I mean, there are some pretty big names there that we were sharing the course and just like walking with them, but like Mark Wahlberg and Chris Pratt and all these people, and I'm literally freaking out. Caitlin is like the most composed human in the world.

She's like, they're just stepping by ring. Let's go. I'm like, oh my God, I want a picture. And that makes you real. That's fine.

I just like treating them like their normal human beings because they are with just a lot more talent than me. Should have more talent than all of us. Anyways, we're with Hannah. Got to talk to her a little bit off the record. Obviously not going to say anything. She didn't tell me any spoilers because even she's not allowed to do that.

But she seems really happy and she was fun and she was spunky and she was a little spicy. She was everything she's on this show. She was the exact same in person. Yeah. The exact same. Yep. The exact same. And she even enjoyed the ride.

So she even chirped me a little bit. She's like, oh, you're on Sarah and Shrayan and she was giving me shit for saying that I had said something that wasn't aligned with supporting her. And then I said to her that there's just no way, A, I would have done that and be that I did do that. So I asked her to refer to that. And off the top of her head, she couldn't recall. But I did watch the whole clip over again. And I did not say anything. That was even questionable.

So when she was like, she was like, Jason. How do I do her accent? How does she say your name? Jason. No. I, damn it, I'm usually so good at a southern accent. I got a bone to pick with you. I was like, she goes, why don't you sit right here?

Just like she does that show. I was like, okay. And then she walked you out. Can I walk you out? Can I walk you out? Yeah. So I watched the whole clip start to finish. I didn't say even one thing edgy and I wouldn't.

I think she's doing a great job. You know what? I think in this time is really when people start coming down on you. And she might be a little bit sensitive to people not being overly supportive. But she has to understand that every interview that ever goes on, they're going to question the Luke penis heads. They're going to question the people there for the music careers. They're going to. So you're just answering the questions that these interviews are giving you, right?

And I think, I honestly think, because she didn't refer in anything specifically. I think that she, someone may have said that I set up, but I didn't. Like, if you just go to that clip, I didn't say anything. So, but anyway, she made, she made one, like, little funny, spicy joke about it. And it was great the rest of the night. We were hanging out, having a great time. But we also got to see a clip of what the rest of the season is going to look like. I don't know if people have seen it yet, that clip.

Oh, is that? We got a sneak peek at this event. that we were at. I was a killer, killer. I was real the F in. I was like, I was okay, you got me this,

like it looked, I'm worried about her. It was fence jump-esque. Like, when you saw the fence jump, you're like, you got to see it. When we saw this one,

we're like, got to see what is coming up. You know what? ABC is not stupid. And they see what trends on Twitter and what blows up. They get us. So they're like,

what can we do this time? Yeah. They're finally getting the, the world of social media and really going with it. Yeah. But we, in summary, fully behind Hannah, it was a pleasure being with her. She's really fun. Yeah. And she's, I think she's doing a great job.

I think she's doing such a great job. And people, you know, will come down on her from the way she talks. She said that. And for anything, they'll find anything. But I think overall, she is just being so real and authentic. And I really, really respect that about her. And I think that's how she's going to find the love of her life. Cheers to that.

Cheers. do that here's our family toast health wealth love happiness and all the time in the world do enjoy it cheers how many you said that on this podcast before I don't know if I have if I have I apologize I like hearing it

again apologies for repeating myself do you know what we do my family for sure talking again idiot at the dinner table we sing God is great God is good

let us Thank you for our food. We're going to thank God morning, noon, and night. We're going to thank God because he's out of sight. Okay, no you don't. No, you don't know? You think I just made that up? I have sat at your family table, and no one did that.

I'm shocked. That is our thing. That is. Really? Yeah. Oh, I'm really surprised we didn't do it. It's usually when Sidney Burney are there. I feel like you're messing with me.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm not. Really? Yeah. No. God is great. Let's call my sister and see if she'll. I won't even say anything to her. We haven't even gotten to the Bachelor Recap here.

Well, you know what? We've got a little bit of time, and there's not a lot to recap, to be honest with you. It really isn't. Let's see if my sister knows. It was the Luke show. Hi, it's Haley. You're first. Okay.

Run her up. Mom will never miss my call. She hates when I put her on the spot, though. And I do it all the time. Oh, this isn't FaceTime? No, because I know you hate when I do this, but you're on the podcast. Okay, Jason doesn't believe me of a song that we sing before dinner. He's like, are you messing with me?

So are you ready? Is it the grace one? Yeah. Oh, you can't give it away. Well, yeah, we sing a few songs. Yep, one, two. Everybody clap. God is great.

Great. God is good slay. Thank him for a good. We're going to thank him morning, noon and night. We're going to thank you, Lord, because you're out of sight. Amen. Amen. Yeah.

Thank you for proving my point, and we will call you after the St. Louis wins the cup. Yeah, go St. Louis. There's Alberta Boys on that team. Yeah, woo, Alberta Boys. Woo! Okay. Love you. I'm a boy, Blue.

Love you, boy. Love you, boy. Think about this. Is there something that interferes with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals? If so, BetterHelp online counseling is there for you. Specialized in issues such as depression, stress, anxiety, relationships, sleeping, trauma, anger, family conflicts, LGBT matters, grief, self-esteem, and more.

BetterHelp can connect you with your professional counselor in a safe private online environment, anything you share is still confidential and it's super convenient. You can get help on your own time and at your own pace. You can schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist.

If you're not happy with your counselor, you can request a new one at any time with no additional charge. Best of all, it's a truly affordable option and off the Vine listeners, you get 10% off your first month with discount code Vine. So why not get started today?

Go to betterhelp.com slash vine. Simply fill out a questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor that you'll love. One more time, that's betterhelp.com slash vine, betterhelp.com slash vine. So we always have good banter, but for the record, you completely set her up. You said, remember that one song? And you pointed the song out. Oh, you think she'd be like, oh, that one song, I'll make it up from the top of my head. And you guys still do that? What was the last time you went to church? Fair question. Well, my mom prays and she, you know, she says grace at dinner.

And this is why we love each other because we can sit here with two mics a glass of wine and just get in the weeds about God knows what. About God knows what? You know what I won't get into the weeds about with you? Politics. Yeah. Not a big, well, I mean, I like to be in the, I like to know I like to be. you know, updated and aware of things going on.

But I don't like to talk about it on platforms because I just see where that gets. Politics and religion, business, platforms. I'll talk about political, well, whatever. You think it should take, yeah, for the, yeah. No. Anyway, okay, so let's go. I'm going to lead the Bachelor recap here going. Thank you.

So we start off with Luke S and Luke P. And this whole entire show, it's the Luke show. And candidly, I'm really getting sick of it. And I'm getting sick of it because I've seen every side of Luke P. No one likes them. he can't defend himself he can't articulate why he's feeling the way he's feeling i don't know if his confidence is based on insecurity or he's just arrogant i'm just sick of it though like when he says like everyone loves me but then the luke stone thing it was the weirdest thing ever because she said

she wanted to talk to both about who by the way is so tall in person do you see the picture of him on the good morning show he was like oh no stray hands height yeah i will say the average height of a guy that like goes on the bachelor i'm telling you it's like six three i know they always looks short on TV and then you see them in real life you're like oh oh that's what yeah everyone thinks i'm so small but that's because i'm staying next to the blake who's like six four five colton oh don't get on that he's six two on tilts no he's like uh blake's like uh blake's like yeah and colton's like six three six four anyway the one thing that the one thing six foot the one thing that irritated me about but that's like straight up you put a ruler it's six foot

there's no like give me take program six one six two i was like oh okay so five eleven no you are tall i actually thought you're taller than six feet well i thought you're taller than six feet Well, everyone says they're taller in there, but... Interesting. Okay, anyway, so the whole thing about Luke Stone that irritated me is they didn't really see or show him saying goodbye. He just made a statement, which was fair, and then he walked out. And I wasn't ready to see him go.

I was like, wait, what? No. I have a buddy from Buffalo who was watching, he watches and he'll, like, text me. And he goes, you know, so Luke Stone just like go and take a shit and he's coming back, or did he leave? Did he have to take a piss? Like, what's going on? I wonder if you explained that on the Michael Strayhan show this morning.

Oh, maybe he did. Because I'm so, I was the same way. I'm like, no, no, I'm not ready for you to go yet. I kind of like, want her tequila brand to succeed and like, want you to go a little farther. So you had the Luke, the Luke show issue, the Luke S, Luke P. Then you get into Mike Johnson. But wait, can I ask you a question? It started off with the Battle of the Luke's and they were, you know, what I loved was that she's like, okay, let's get the two of you in here to talk about it.

Because usually it's like, I'm usually watching going. why can't you just bring the two of them together and they can hash it out in front of you? Why are you just going back and forth like they like Colton did with Hannah? Correct. And Kaelin. It was like, oh my gosh, why don't we all just talk through it together? Why are we just going? He says she said.

Correct. And so I liked that they put it. But then she was like not having it and walked out. I love. Yeah. I love the action by her putting them together. Me too. What I don't love is there was no drill down.

No, it was like they were just like they were going back. But she didn't get. I think she had her mind made up. I think she honestly knew that Luke Stone, that chapter was closed. And I think with Luke P, it might be closing, but it's not fully closed. And that's why she walked away. You think so? Yeah.

Plus, you know, I mean, this is a stressful process. Like, how many times do you just want to walk away, right? Probably the whole time. Yeah. There's so many times I'm like, oh, my gosh, guys, drama is worse than I lived. I did both sides. Okay. Guys are worse.

So we go through the Luke show. And then the Luke show ends and we go to the Mike Johnson one-on-one. What are you thinking? I am a really big fan of Mike. Huge fan of Mike. He seems like such a genuine down-to-earth sweetheart who is genuinely there to get to know Hannah and like just seems like a happy, go lucky, maybe a little shy with his emotions, but like is really into her. I think she's really into him. And I think we've talked about this, that he would be a really, really great bachelor.

because I still want to see a little bit of his, like, sense of humor personality because he's, you know, I think he's a little shy. But I hope that, I hope that we get to know him a little better through the show. Yeah. And what I like about him, articulate, wears his heart on his sleeve. He is, it seems like he's got really good, good-looking dude. It seems like he has such great character in regards that. If someone is being a bully, like Luke, he'll stick up for them.

Totally. And then I think what else... Do you think Luke is being a bully, though? He was earlier in the Luke S situation when he was like, apparently slammed him, kicked him in the knee. Whether it happened or not, when he said to Luke P, a few episodes before he goes, you want to pick on someone, like, come at me. Right. You know? So that's what I like about him.

The one thing else I like about him is that I feel like we haven't got much, and correct me if I'm wrong out there. But I feel like we have not got much depth out of these guys. That's every season. we haven't that's not i don't think it is because with with mike we've gotten depth he talked about his past relationship he talked about like intense hardships i don't i don't want to bring up right now and he talked about where he is why he's there what brought him there today and then he's opening up about the fact listen like i'm going to be honest i'm nervous right now so i think we're seeing a lot of sides of mike that we haven't seen of any of the guys so far that's a great point

he does he he even said to her you make me nervous and she's like why but it's is it's just a nerve-wracking situation super nerve-wracking and yeah you're just I mean you're just trying to impress somebody but I feel like he's genuinely trying to impress her like he's not you know how you can tell people like that freaking cam yeah it's like sat her down for the pity like oh this happened too much I need to tell her something and but I'm not taking away from what he went through but sure like Mike says it in a way where it's appropriate timing and it's something he wants to open up about but then he like also is

holy Toledo is there a huge spiderline and cheese no we skipped the most incritical and important part of this episode what

John Paul Jones got kicked off sad I was that guy was awesome He was just such hilarious TV. Not a lot going on. He didn't get much time, but when he did, oh, every time was a home run.

It reminds me a grocery store Joe who I saw it today. Every time grocery store Joe touched the TV, home run. John Paul Jones, home run. Like, I want to sit down and get to know that guy. Oh, yeah. Damn it. I really wanted to have him on the podcast today. Yeah, we'll have to figure that out.

I feel like literally, first of all, good guy, honest. And I think he was like on. I didn't know. All we heard him say was shocker, bro. But I think he was, like, honest with himself. And I think he's like, I think he was on, dude, where's my car? I'm convinced he had a roll. Dude, what's mine say?

Sweet. What's mine say? Dude. Yeah, I bet there's so much more to him that we didn't get to see. But what we did see, I'm like, yes. Really disappointed that we don't get to be blessed with him on our TV screens. He'll be back. I'm telling you, he'll be back.

Oh, he is paradise. He's going to be on paradise. And I need a huge showing out of him. Yeah, like he's going to get. He's going to get the girl and he's going to be, you know, he's going to be Mr. Steele, yo girl. Mr. Thiel, your girl. And he's going to steal a girl from Blake. Oh.

Because he can be on this season, right, if he's gone now? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I wonder if he is. Oh, man. You said his future was bright and I said the sun is bright in paradise. So.

Okay. Then we would go to the group date in Scotland. And notice how I'm talking fast because the Stanley Cup game sevens on and we are leading into it. Do we have a score? No, it's zero, zero. All right. So the Scotland date, they get, they're wearing the kiltz. Yeah.

I don't think there's undies going on under those kiltz. The junk's flowing. Junk's flying. How do you not wear boxer briefs under that you have to? Well, I don't know because any, well, you know, I should never believe the black box, but any time they like cross their legs or something was happening or they're putting on their kilt, they gave the black boxes and you could see their hammer, but I don't. I don't think you could.

All right. So I'm skipping right now to the night day because it's purr of this conversation. But Tyler was wearing his kilt through the night. Then he was, you know, having a little how do you do on the bed? A little how do you do a big how do you do. There was a few how do you do with the kilt. A lot of black boxes in that scene. Well, the kilt became a tent.

We'll be right back with more off the vine, Grape Therapy. Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. All right, attention true crime fans. Check out 22 hours, an American nightmare on Podcast 1. It was a case nightmares are made of. A family is held hostage for nearly 24 hours and murdered inside their own home. WTOP examines the complicated trail.

of evidence that police say led to finding their killer and why they say he committed such a brutal crime. Download new episodes of 22 hours, an American nightmare on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts 1. You're listening to Off the Vine Race Therapy.

Okay, back to the day date. Hannah was the only one that nailed the axe on the wood. She nailed the axe. I would expect nothing less. Crushed it. And then Oh, is that you were? That was ramen. Ramen. Yeah, ramen just let one go. Oh, that's bad.

He's got toots for days, man. And we feed them, like, really good stuff. Hey, question out there, grain-free or not grain-free? No, you can't. I ask this, and then people are like, ask your vet. Don't ask your vet. Well, we asked our vet, and we've asked three vets. Each vet gives us different answers.

Our vet said that this grain-free trend is better for smaller dogs. It's better for certain dogs. For certain dogs. My brother, who's a border than genius, is convinced you go grain-free. With his type. With his type. He has a King Charles Cavalier. And he said, but all dogs are different.

So I'm really thrown off, but I, you know, I want to speak to a few different vets and see what they say. Yeah. Anyways, toots smell really bad. Toots smell. Now, we all know we trust the Home Depot for studs, sheet rock, electrical, everything to build your house. But now you can make the house your home by shopping thousands of decor pieces that suit your

taste. From sofas to area rugs to that faux floral you've been admiring, the home Depot has all the pieces you need to create your dream space from start to finish. And the best part, free and flexible delivery and no hassle returns on everyday essentials and more. Find exactly what you're looking for at homedepo.com slash decor. Your perfect home is waiting for you and it's just a click away. Plus, for a limited time, you can save even more on the styles that you love when you

use code Vine Home Depot at checkout. Now there's more kinds of doing at the Home Depot, valid on select items only, free delivery on select items $45 or more visit Home Depot.com for more information. And then Jed really Jed went in. You know, he literally I think he had a playbook ready to go and he executed that flawlessly. He really did.

Very Tom Brady-esque. Like, I'm going to win this. Then I'm going to pull her aside. We're going to do the little wrestling thing. I'm going to pin her down kiss her. And you notice this. Never did this happen on my season. He kissed her twice in front of the group. Now, that doesn't seem like a big deal. But when you're one of the guys, she kissed him.

When you're one of the guys that, like, totally... You're like, wait, are they there? Rattles you, right? You're just like, what the hell? Like, what? And then those things get in your head and they stay with you. Because it's all you have to think about. Yeah.

And any little, I've said this on so many podcasts, any little gesture sticks with you, whether it's good or bad. No doubt. Because people don't realize when you're watching the show, you see all that stuff that happens. But nobody, unless you're Luke P., I guess, talks about it when it happens.

Like everyone comes back, how was it good good good like it's almost a mutual respect respect excuse me respect respect oh are you singing yeah r-es-m-e-tete respect oh my god don't get me started anyways that was a mrs dalfire debate we had last night okay hello hello or two-to-l-l-l-oo I thought it was two-to-do but okay anyway circle back so circle back good for jed He executed that. Because Jed doesn't really like, I don't want to say manned up because she also like womaned up and hit the axe. Like I don't want to, you know, throw genders on it.

But he, I haven't really seen him be like. He stepped up. Oh, yeah. And he stepped up. And he was like, I don't know. I was like, yeah, Jed, get it. And then he did get it later. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And then the one dude saw, what's his name? I don't even know. He just didn't kiss her. Oh, yeah. Who was that? He, like, walked up and he's like, you know those things that you like can't look away? That was him. That was pretty funny. I feel like I like I like that guy. That's a common theme with this group. I feel like I watch this. I've said this 15 times. I'm saying it again. I watch it. I'd have a beer with that guy. I'd have a beer with that guy. I want a beer with that guy. He seems like good. It just seems like a good group of guys. You know what? I thought the good guys was a dying breed on The Bachelorette because I was always biased and thought I had the best guys because they were all super nice. And every season, and this obviously is no offense to you because I think you're amazing, but every season I was like, oh, the group, the overall group average is so low.

Not just based on looks. I mean on personality. I mean on character. I mean on how they speak about their feelings, what they're going after. I was like, oh, is this, you know, Instagram influencing people to just go on and get a following. Are they just trying to be a character? But this group, I'm like, and I love that everyone judged the book by the

cover and everyone was like oh look at these guys oh they're so like they're what are they called but you're what pictures you know like biopicture yeah your bio pictures everyone was just absolutely ridiculing everybody on there because of what they look like and I was like this is so mean like nobody's even got to know these guys yet and they're just attacking them based on their biopicture which by the way everyone looks like garbage in I got crushed on my biopicture see clobbered really oh yeah I think you look so cute in your house but I didn't want I saw it I'm just kidding I'm just I'm just joking I actually

think you look so good in it um but yeah we you know people are just obviously shallow anyway so as these you know dates go on and you start to get to know these guys they're all they all just seem like good dudes they do even Luke P can we get into this oh god all right so let's add so Luke P so Jed gets the group day rose it was the Jed show he crushed that he showed up

He stepped up, good for him, grand slam. Now, we go to Luke P. And this, to me, is where I was fully disconnected with the episode. I just, I was like, I'm done. I got to do work. Yeah, they lost me. It was, there wasn't a roller coaster. There wasn't a discussion that was like, whoa.

There wasn't highs. There wasn't lows. To me, it was just a very consistent, nothing. It went nowhere. It was like a headache. And he was, yeah, and I loved when she was like, do you want to know how I'm feeling? And he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, how are you feeling? That's what I give her credit, because I think she, what I give Hannah credit for in this situation is where I would have lost it.

I would have. Blues are up one-nothing. Oh, wait, you know what? For all the Boston people out there, we have been to Boston. You guys are badass people. But you win everything. But you win everything. And we are rooting right now for the St. Louis Blues.

Home of Anne Heiserbush, Budwild. Boston has won so many things. They're so lucky when it comes to sports. And all I want to see is a good little, like, you know, good heartfelt story about a team that hasn't been in the playoffs since 1970. Freaking 9. Is that what it is?

I got a fact for you. A baby born in Boston in the fall of 1984 had one title, Celtics, 1986, before he or she turned 18. A baby born in Boston in the fall of 2001. has a chance Wednesday, as in today, to see the 12th title by his or home, by his or her hometown before their 18th, freaking damn birthday. I have nothing against Boston. 12th.

I like Boston. I had one bad experience there the first time I ever went there. And I was like, I don't know if I could do Boston. I had terrible things happening. Then I went back and I was like, I actually love Boston. It's the best. It's beautiful. I love the people.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Everything's great. It's great. It's gorgeous. And, but you know what?

Your teams win everything. So just let somebody else have it. Buffalo Bills hadn't been to the playoffs since 1999. Don't get me started. I'm an oil friend. And then we just beat the playoffs. We're talking just a game. Sabers haven't made the playoffs since 2011.

Yeah. Okay. You okay? Yeah. Anyways. Luke B. Luke B. No.

Take her one. It's my thing now. I call you honey. Yeah, you do. You don't call me honey. It's so cute. What were we saying? I don't even remember.

We were just talking about Luke P and how it just... Oh, how I'm just over it. It just went nowhere. Okay, I know you can't really say this because you're still under contract. But my question is, is there really no one else to put as the villain? So they put the one guy who's a little bit cocky as the villain. Because he's not, you know, he's not picking fights with the guys. He's not.

He kind of shuts up when they give it to him. And he is, from what I've seen. And he just kind of says, okay, when it, when they, you know, drag him. He's just not good at expressing his feelings. When they drag him. He's not good at expressing his feelings. Your troops are great.

He's not good. You know, he's just, he doesn't get it yet. And he's not dealing with the situation, right? So is it because the producers are like, Hannah, just like, dig deep here and keep him because he's the villain? Because I know that happens. So is that the situation here? And she's like, come on.

Give me something because you were hot at the beginning and I liked you and now you're really ruining it and you have to stick around like give me something here's the here are facts right there's a lot of gray area in life but here are facts he told her week two week two he was falling in love with her how would you feel about that so that's a fact well you fell in love with me probably in like two days so i get it we'll save that for another podcast go on all right so he said that Um, what are some other facts about Luke Pete? He literally threw Luke Stone under the bus, goes back to Luke Stone, says, I'm going to redeem myself and tell her X, Y, and Z and totally twist the situation.

He has said countless times in front of her people love me. He's made a lot of arrogant comments. And I'm not trying to be shallow, but the gold chain cross, while you talk about CrossFit, I can't do it. I just can't do it. You're going to have to back that up. Nope, I can't. You have to back that up.

You can just call me a shallow douche canoe. Oh, douche canoe. Someone used that word. Yeah, I know. I was like, wait, what? And you took ownership of that. Well, I still actually should Google this. I'm going to Google it right now where douche canoe came from because.

But we, and we said this before that she is so decisive. Every move she makes, she's like, no, I don't like you. You're gone. But don't do this to me. Don't play these games. And she's saying to him, like, I can be a devilish bitch. And I can, you know, be on my knees crying at church. She's got, you know, two sides.

I wonder if she's a Gemini. But she's so decisive with everything she does and she's so indecisive with Luke P that you're like, how come you can't just be like, no, this is, you know, because she keeps saying, I want a husband who can do this, I need this. Why is he not giving me this? And she's not saying anything about Because I think it started off so fire. I mean, everyone out there's had a relationship that it's just like instantly, boom. It's like a volcano. It's not even a fire. And then it just dies. And I think she wants, she's like, before I just like, forget about it, I need to know that there's chapters closed. So I give her credit for that. The big question mark I have. She ends the episode by saying,

I can't give you this rose. But we see the, we see what the, oh my God, why can't think of the word for the next episode? The trailer. We see the trailer for the next episode. And we see this whole like him praying at church, like whatever that was. So clearly is he still on? Well, yeah. He was in a different outfit? Was he in a different outfit? He was in a different outfit. Ooh, detective. So literally, I mean, you have that.

Yeah, I don't think she's, here's what I'll say. If this is how her heart truly feels and she needs to fully experience it and to close the chapter, then do it. Everybody can stop judging. We can have our opinions, of course, on Lou P and like be questioning it. But at the end of the day, we're not her and we're not dating him. And we're not having these. feelings. So she's going to do what she's got to do. Does she end up with him in the end? Probably not. If she does, well, that's really stupid.

I don't know if you guys are like me, but I'm looking for new ways to get in cardio between my busy schedules. The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way that you look at cycling classes. It's an immersive, empowering, heart-pounding cardio experience that you have to try to believe you get to work up a sweat with world-class instructors riding right by your side you'll get real-time motivation and coaching from a roster of unique styles and personalities that way you can find the one that works best for you plus it will keep your workout fresh peloton lets you change up your cardio with rides that span a variety of lengths difficulty levels themes and music genres there are up to 12 live classes daily and thousands more are waiting on demand so i actually used to teach cycling

classes back in Vancouver. I think everybody knows that. And I will say that this is a serious workout. Every time I get on and start one of the classes, I feel like I'm right back in the studio, ready to feel the burn. Peloton really, really helps you stay motivated by competing with yourself, which that's something I really enjoy about it, and everyone else on the live class leaderboard with real-time performance metrics. Track your calories, resistance, output, and heart rate so you can get the most out of every ride. Right now for my listeners, Peloton is offering a limited time offer, get $100 off accessories when you purchase the Peloton bike

and get a great cardio workout at home. Go to OnePelaton.com and use promo code Vine to get started. A douche can use. It's a lightweight craft used by douches to move around on the figurative conversational currents to spread their message of duchness

to new individuals who are blissfully unaware of their existence. Origin, please. It also has cup holders, which is the only redeeming quality of the douche canoe. Listen, I'm not buying a douche canoe. I'm not interested in the size specs in retail costs. I want to know the origin. Would you like me to hear it? Or would you like to hear it in a sentence? No, I want the origin. Wow. Did you hear what Jim had to say at the party last night? Yeah. He came from nowhere on his

douche canoe and made everyone feel uncomfortable. Oh, I like it better using it as a noun. I feel like you're trying to sell me a douche canoe and I literally want nothing. to do with one. I don't want to buy one. I'm not interested. I just want to know where it came from. Second definition. Someone who exceeds the limits of being a normal douche or a douche bag. Oh my gosh. Okay, I'm not just kidding. I'm not joking. The definition or the in a sentence says, Luke, you are such a douche canoe. And that was made in 2007. Whoa. Holy Toledo. Oh my God. That's like breaking people's ears. Look. Luke, you are such a douche canoe, February 18th, 2007.

Wow. A lot of Luke doches out there. I feel like you're not listening to me, though. Oh, sorry, origin. What is the origin? Third definition. A person that is so douchey said doucheiness travels across bodies of water. Check out that douche canoe, I bet they see his Ed Hardy shorts from Hawaii.

Oh, when a person is so douchey, they are equal to about 50 douchebags, therefore a canoe would be needed. That's my favorite definition. That's pretty good. Now, how do I find the origin? I feel like our phones listen to us now. I went to Google and I said, where is douche? And it literally went to where is douche canoe from origin? Like they listened to us. Yes, it did. Our phones listen to us. Everyone out there, watch what you're saying. Caitlin and I talk about one thing. And then instantly within 20 minutes, we go on Instagram. And that exact thing is being marketed to us. Caitlin really wants a nice diamond ring.

Double halo? No. Actually, I don't care. Okay, so where is it from? I'm working on it. Anyways, I will say... Can we make this like a thing that people need to help us find the origin of douche canoe? Okay, perfect.

Tweet us. Please help us. Okay, but... Because you're taking credit for it, which is pretty bold. No, you know what I don't. I must have heard it somewhere. because that was 2007 and I feel like I started saying it and like I mean I've been saying it for a while but I must have heard it somewhere

and I think it might have you know what I think I think it's from Canada I think it is anyways Luke P I just I feel sad for him I want to hug him I just think he's misunderstood I think he doesn't understand his own emotions and I think he was the only option for a villain and now he's calling him yeah do you want to take that back like around the neck really tight, like strangle, like strangle. I can think of something like, feel, and I don't care. Like, I'm the kind of guy if you're like, yeah, give him a hug, I don't care.

I'm not catching my joke. I'm not catching it. I said a really tight one around the neck, like strangling. Yeah, yeah, because I'm all about like, shoo, you're really getting that whining. Sharing support. I think I'm nervous about this game tonight. Oh, okay. Let's do nothing blue! Let's go! Are you serious? That's insane. Anyways, I can't believe, I can't believe. I can't believe you.

Luke P probably stays And this episode I was kind of like Okay can we just Get this over with You know It was a tough Tough Sode

I think as per usual Look at the history When there's a tough sode That we're going on in Well I mean It's a foundation I think it sets it up For like a huge episode

Like everything Game of Thrones Boring episode Boom crazy episode So I think it's going to be A good way Desperate Housewives Evil Angoria

Boring episode Crazy episode Oh, okay. That's a theory. Hey, Stanley Cup. Last game. Super boring. What was going on?

Oh, Boston won. Right, because they wanted one more day of TV and they had bad ref calls and boom, St. Louis is going to win the cup. So this is actually a really funny theory out there. Daniel Negragno, if you're listening. Poker player, his girlfriend actually tweet his wife, his wife or girlfriend? I don't know. Wife, girlfriend, whatever.

We're going to go hang out with them in Vegas sooner than later. but Caitlin had a theory on bedding. She thinks that game six in all these sports, and she's been right. She's like, the money and the ratings are too great for the opposing team not to win. And then you think about how much more money is being made because of game seven. How much more money is being made because Golden State won that game. Yeah. That's crazy.

That's my theory. You're a genius. I'm sticking to it. Crazy. Oh, ramen. Just absolutely blew it up again. Such a savage. Holy.

Look at him. He just doesn't even, he's just, oh, wow. There is, if there's, I don't have any complaints about this dog, but. Oh, I do. Boners and toots. On that note. Your session is now in. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy.

Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check. Check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? This week's grape therapy is sponsored by Peloton. Go to OnePelaton.com and use promo code Vine. Get $100 off your accessories when you purchase. Apartments.com. Visit Apartments.com to find your perfect place.

Flamingo. Go to shopflamingo.com slash vine to get your shave kit for only. $16 in free shipping. Home Depot, use promo code Vine Home Depot at checkout to save up to 10% now and BetterHelp. Go to BetterHelp.com slash Vine and use code Vine for 10% off your first month.