Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: The Kaitlyn & Bri After-Party

Episode Date: May 26, 2022

You are cordially invited to the after-party of the Oopsie Poopsie Awards! Trust us, you’re going to want to attend this one. KB and Bri (no last name) are talking about their dream after-parties to attend (anywhere with Paul Rudd), recapping their recent experience on Broadway (featuring a Britney Spears moment), and having themselves a little manifesting minute (what they do best). Of course, Kaitlyn (AKA Amanda) and Bri (AKA Shirley Viney) have to call some Vinos… and some NOT Vinos (you’ll see what we mean). Then, they get into the competitive spirit with a quiz to test their friendship. Do these K-BriFFs know each other as well as they think? Plus, we also hear some of Bri’s fave cocktail recipes as brought to you by @bittersandbread and test some incredible pick up lines that you’re going to want to use IRL.   HYUNDAI - Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com.  PRIMAL KITCHEN - Find Primal Kitchen in your local grocery store or visit Primalkitchen.com/offthevine to get 20% off your order!  APARTMENTS.COM - The place to find a place.  TALKSPACE - Match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com and use promo code vine during sign-up to get $100 off your first month. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Primal Kitchen. Find Primal Kitchen and all of their amazing sauces, dressings, and oils in your local grocery store or visit Primalcitchen.com slash Off The Vine to get 20% off your order. Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grace Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin.

Welcome to Grave Therapy. I'm your host Caitlin Bristow. And you are? Bree. No last name. What are you, Beyonce? Seal? I'm just I am Seal. Never tell you about when I ran into Seal outside at an airport? I was like, hey. Didn't he sing to you on The Bachelor or something?

He sang at Jade and Tanner's wedding. Oh, right. And that was my common ground to find with him. I was like, are you seal? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, hey, you're saying at my friend's wedding. He's like, I've sang in a few weddings, which one? I was like, Bachelor in Paradise, Jade and Tanner.

And he was like, and then you got fully invested in asking me all the behind the scenes of The Bachelor. Oh, he's a Bachelor fan. He was very intrigued by it. And I said, What songs were we singing yesterday? We were just really on a roll. Wait, I have it. What was that song?

We were, what weren't we singing yesterday? You know what? Oh, we were singing, um, jumper from third-eyed line. Oh, yeah. Oh, bye-bye, Bertie. By-bye, birdie. Oh, my God. The video we took.

Oh, Chicago, Chicago. Yeah. I'll send this out to the vinyl's on the off of mine page because it's really not coming through over the microphone right now. It's really not, I'm not selling it. But anyways. So we're rolling right off oopsie poopsie awards. So we're all lubed up.

We've got wine in our system. Ready to go. You haven't been listening to my podcast lately have you. You really threw me with the lubed up thing. That's what I try and have wine with people. And I say it gets them all lubed up to tell me confessions. I just thought about that slippery naked guy. Oh, the grease up for family guy?

I'm so proud of you. I really just try and remember the three things I know from Family Guy to make you proud. Yeah. It's so funny that I still, after all these years, referenced family guy this much. But anyways, okay, this is the after party. The after party of the awards ceremony, because this is a big deal. Okay, it's like the Oscars. Yeah. It's a national holiday. It should be. There's no work today, guys. My anniversary. Take it off. Take the day off. You get paid double if you show up to work. Treat yourself. That got me thinking, what if you were invited to an Oscars after party? I always think of how I would like behave in those situations. I am I an a list actor who got invited or I just ran like accidentally got an invitation from Elton John in the mail you wrong address yeah wrong address no you want a contest yeah you want a contest but this was like me in the suite of the F1 yeah I did texting me the whole time I was just freaking out he was beside me Michelle Obama but okay if you were at an Oscar after party who is the one celebrity that you would sneak a pick with Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Fair.

I love her. I do too. I don't feel like I'd have to sneak it though. I think she's so kind that she would take the picture with me. I would probably be crying like such a loser. I just love her. Well, remember when she tweeted me from Dancing with a Starz? I do now.

I was like, well, you won already. It was the first week and I'm like, you already won. I would, this is a hypothetical game so I can make this up. But if Britney Spears was there. Oh my God. Yeah, Brittany. Brittany for sure. Okay.

Who would you try and take a. like drink with or a shot with. Well, I don't know if this celebrity drinks, but Kiana Reeves. Go on. What? Because everybody loves him. He's like the most pure, genuine soul on the planet Earth. Really?

You don't know that everyone loves Kiana. No, I didn't know that. Nothing bad will ever come out about him because he's never done a thing wrong in his whole life. What? Yeah. Keanu Reeves is Jesus. He is. When I pray tonight, I'm going to pray to Kiana Reeves.

always pray to Keanu Reeves. Okay. His energy is like so amazing. You know how those headlines always come out and they're like, multiple actresses accused so-and-so of, like, misconduct. Yeah. They always make up fake ones about Keanu that says multiple actresses come out and say that Keanu Reeves is just as amazing or not better than you already knew.

Like, he's the best. Oh my gosh. Okay, good to know. Just look up. If you ever feel sad, look up. Keanu Reeves feel good and you'll, there's nothing. Nothing bad. Just pure heart.

Wow. Yep. Maybe he's my new celebrity crush. Oh, he should be. He should be in the top five. Him and Travis Barker. His pure heart. Gosh.

Bree and I can't stop watching the Kardashians right now. And we're so in love with their love. Oh, my God. We're just... Imagine being that obsessed with somebody? Courtney and Travis. Travis. I'm very here for truth.

I am very invested. I am very vested. Hollywood couple right now. They're so good. What do you think about Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox? I don't think about them. Okay. I do actually think about them, but I love Megan Fox.

Same. Love her so much. Don't know too much about M. G. G. I'm like the machine gun, Kelly. Um,

I need to know more, but I feel like you've ever seen when they're like, people are like, everything I learn about Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly is against my will. Like you didn't want to see that headline. Yeah. Every time I see it, I'm like, I think they're just having fun.

And hopefully, like, they're not that serious. But what does she mean when they say they're drinking each other's blood for ritual purposes only? What does that mean? Well, it's, first of all, I do want to be a witch. So I would like to learn what that means. I don't think we're there yet. Okay. What do you mean?

What else do we have to do in life to get there? I wouldn't even drink my husband's blood. Well, no, I wouldn't do that. I would drink yours. I would definitely drink your blood over Jason. We could do like, like the little prick and put our pinkies together. Blood sisters? Yeah.

Well, we're both on our periods right now. I just tap the tampons together. I'm sick. Removed from the body. Oh, okay. Well, that's much better. You're like, wait, no, the other way. Did you try my breast milk?

I tried my sister's breast milk. I don't know if I tried yours. I did squirt my booby milk at you. Yeah, I didn't stick my tongue out for it, though. You didn't catch it in your mouth. That would have been impressive. Would you drink my breast milk? Yeah, I guess.

I mean, it's not that big of a deal. It's really not. It's like breast milk is, I mean, I drink my own. We drink milk from cows. Yeah. It's sweet. It tastes good. Oh, cute.

I mean, like, I only had, like, a drop to, like, make sure it was the right temperature. But, yeah. I'll definitely try my own. Wait, you never said who you wanted to have a drink with. Okay, who would I have a drink with from the Oscars? Paul Red. Oh, yeah, duh. That's who I'd sneak a picture with and take a shot with and go out of my way for anything with Paul Red.

Does he go to the Oscars, though? Probably. But isn't it for musicians? Katie. Oh, there. The Grammys are for musicians. The Oscars are from A-list movie stars. I see, and then you said Lady Gaga on that threw me because she can do both.

Yeah, she has an Oscar. Okay, fine. Yeah, Paul Rudd for everything, always. By the way, Madison, how's the Paul Rudd journey coming along? Any updates? I wish I had better news for you. I think I've kind of embarrassed myself in this town. In this town, you're not from around here, are you?

I got to get out of here. oh my gosh okay well you know what you did you took one for the team there i'm still trying but i'm probably not going to keep showing up to his candy store because i don't think they like me there anymore he's a candy she's a candy store in what's the town called again where you are rindbeck rindbeck new york he's scared of you now well i will not stop trying that's why you got a sneak a pick persistence you know harassment some say harassment some say persistence you decide but yeah it would be paul red for me um okay We went on Broadway on Tuesday night.

No, Wednesday day. When did I get here? Yeah, so we went Wednesday during the day. We went Wednesday during the day to Broadway. I haven't been to Broadway in years because it scares me. There's just like a lot of really, really drunk tourists. And I always read like headlines from the Nashville scoop about how there's like arrests. Somebody threw a chair off Luke Bryan's roof and hit a woman.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. So I get a little scared. We're pretty safe on a Wednesday afternoon. A little Wednesday afternoon Broadway tour. was really fun. It was. It was every,

we were just walking by different places and it was just good live music. So much talent. So much talent. And that could be our confession. We tried to pay. Yeah. Oh, God.

Yeah, that's my confession. So we bopped around a couple places. And all we wanted was they were playing this like incredible like country music and everybody's voice was insane. And we kept being like, can you play Britney Spears? Because we just such big Britney fans. Like, obviously. And so.

From before it was cool. Yeah, truly. We've been fans since. We were on the CBC News at 6. Yeah. Being Brittany fans. Yep. So I've got pictures to prove it. I've got the video. We're definitely posting that. Oh yeah. So we go into these bars and we went to the stage and Well, to be fair, they asked us. Would you like a request? And we said Britney Spears and then he said, I can definitely do baby one more time for a price. Yeah. And then you're like, get your money out of your purse. And so I was like, what do I, what do I pay? And what do you think?

And you're like, five should do it. And I was like, I don't have a five, but I've got five ones. So then you're like, yeah, yeah. I thought that was just like a reasonable tip. Now that I think about it, no. And I walked over and I showed him the very thin wad of cash in my hands. And then I realized it looked like $1. So I was like, I better spread it out.

And in front of him, I like spread it out. And then I did like dangly fingers to let it go. to the huge tip bucket. And then he's like, literally goes on the mic. He's like, yeah, for $20, I will play anything you want. Anything you want for $20. You're like, so I just wasted a five. I was like, what's your Benmo?

Because then I felt stupid because I'm like, he really does. The band deserves more than $5. I don't know why that sounded reasonable to me. But when he said that out loud, I was like, well, of course. Then we give him $35. Yeah. And I contributed five. You contributed $30.

Yeah. You put the five ones in and I was like, I'll bet him. I embarrassed myself. So you had to bat with a rest. But we really enjoyed that song. It was so good. Yeah. It was like all 20.

He's like, Oh, bamban. Yeah. He did like slow. A true stick. It was so good. It was really good. The drummer who kept making eye contact with me.

I think the drummer had a crush on me. And I kept awkwardly making eye contact and then I would look at him. And he would have the biggest smile on his face. And I was like, do you know. And then I like look down and then it would happen again. And I was like, no, I just like the drums. I just want to watch you play the drums, not I. Yeah.

No, he wasn't like, Travis Barker, he was like, 70. Travis Barker's dad. Yeah. He's like 70 years old with a mustache. I wasn't failing it. And the drummer and the other guitarist, when the other guy was like, we're playing Britney, they were like, no, we're not.

And they just like, they took a break. And everyone in the bar was like, what? And then the other old guy comes out and he goes, did you guys request? Did you guys request for Britney? We were like, yeah. Free Britney forever. And they were like, you've ruined our vacation. Yeah.

We wanted Chattahoochee. Chattahoochee. Yeah, remember? Mano, now, we're on to chaturuchin. But I learned how to swim and I learned who I was. You know the word than I was. I used to work wedding banquets and that played every single wedding that I worked from 2002 to 2003. Oh, in Niskew.

Yep. Yeah, I remember that. What other bars did we go to? We went to the stage. We went to Tutsis. We went to Miranda Lamberts. Miranda. Casa Rosa. Rosa. It was so cute. That is our number one recommendation for Broadway right now. Yeah, it was so nice. And I'm wearing, I bought a sweater. I had to buy the merch. Yeah, looks good on you. I love Miranda Lambert. She's just such a badass. Come on. Women supporting women. Have you heard of it? And also the food and drinks were amazing. Yeah, it was really good. Nashville chicken tacos. Oh my god, the hot chicken. Very average compared to. Because it's not hot chicken. Yeah. It's true. Do we run into any batch? Oh, you know what we ran into is a lot of bleeper.

Okay, so Justin Bieber was in the same city as me. Yeah. He was literally down the street from us. We were on the hunt for the bebes, but I didn't find him. I mean, we weren't really on the hunt. We just kind of threw it out there. I didn't look around a bit. I'd get my eyes open.

My head was on a swivel. Like he'd be on Broadway. And these cute little, like, 14th birthday. Yeah. And her and her friends are at the Miranda Lambert restaurant. And then they came up to us and they were so sweet. And they all had pink matching Belieber shirts. And they're like, hi, ma'am.

Can we take a picture with you? Yeah, they were so sweet. They were so cute. And you were like, oh, you're going to the Beaver concert. And they were like, yes, ma'am. I know. And it was their 14th birthday. That was really cute.

They were the best. But yeah, so a lot of, but a lot of Bachelorette parties. Right? Yeah, a lot of Bachelorette. Oh, my gosh. Not a lot of bachelor parties, but we did get hit on. We did. We still got it.

Actually, the funniest was that we, well, drop my headphones. We said that your ear holes are too small. My ear holes, yeah, these kind of headphones never work. Oh, the other one fell out. I think actually big gaping holes and then it's not like my hearing's awesome. Yeah, it should be. From those big satellite dishes. Big gaping ear holes.

Sick. Why is that gross? That was my nickname. I was just kidding. G. G. B. G.

Age. G. G. Gabe and we sat down and we were like, man, I said, remember when we used to sit down places and guys would just come up to our table like immediately and we never had to pay for a drink? And I was like, that's not happening anymore. I'm like, we're getting old. But then it happened.

But then it happened. And we were like, I'll get good. We're like, yes. Then they tried to sit down. We're like, no. We're like, you can't stay and talk. Yeah. We just needed to feel validated and in our worth.

It's like we still got it. So we did. But I said maybe it's because I wear a wedding. and you wear an engagement ring. And I was like, well, maybe that's why they're not coming up to us. But then when we put our little hands under the table, it worked. Oh, gosh.

That was so funny. I was like, okay. We can go home now. Still got it. Okay, quick pause to talk about one of my new favorite sponsors. So this episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Primal Kitchen. Not sure if you heard me talking recently about the amazing sauces I had sent to my house. But, oh my gosh, I'm like a sauce queen.

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Also, I just thought of this. Someone in the Vino Face group. Face group. On that face. The book, that is the Facebook. Someone posted their Tinder pickup line, and I cackled because it was so bad that it's good. Okay. Hit me with me.

Okay. Hit me with it one more time. Hey, are you my appendix? No. I'm not completely sure how you work, but I have this weird feeling in my gut. It makes me want to take you out. That's so stupid. Hey, are you my appendix? No. What if somebody, what if you were a single and a really cute guy came up to you and said that? Oh, I absolutely love pickup lines. Like when they happen to me, I'm like, good for you for shooting your shot. Okay, tell me if these ones land for you. you ready? I'm going to set the scene like I just did. You're single. Nick, it's a hypothetical. He's not listening. You're hot. Yeah. Duh. So somebody says to you, I think I saw you on Spotify. You were listed as the hottest single. I would barf. And then drink it. No, I want to hear, I want to hear like a good pun is actually gets my vagina dancing more than actually like calling me hot. Okay. Yeah. Is your Bluetooth enabled? Because I feel like we could pay. I like that Bluetooth Okay What if What if they said Why do bartenders

Use blenders To break the ice Like me right now I like that Okay Do you have Instagram Because my mom Always told me

To follow my dreams That's really cute That is cute I like it I like that Where did the boy Go to college? I don't know

You up? That's just more of a joke That's not really a Pick a line. A joke in my opinion is a pickup line. You've got me a good joke. I'm yours forever.

Yeah, forever. I don't want to flood your inbox, but damn. Oh, I like it. Yeah. You look good. And you go D-A-M. Yeah. Do you like bagels?

Oh, I hate how I say that. You like bagels? Because you're bagels. Wait, do you get it? Wait, did you? Because your bagels. Your bagels? Like bay.

Oh, that girl's bay. Oh, that's dumb. I mean, you got to see that in writing. Yeah, which, again, wouldn't land if you said it then. Especially if you said bagel like me. Out of all the pickup lines, that's the one you're going with. Bagels. I don't like bagels because they're bagels.

Oh, God. Oh, Bay goals? Yeah. Your eyes just lit up. You just got it now. I thought it was still like Bay Goals. I'm like that stupid. Bay Goals.

I like it now. I saw the wheels spinning and I saw when the wheels spinning and I saw when the the moment hit when you're like, oh, you're like this. I left my body first. And you were like this. Oh, bagels. Oh, God. Okay.

So let's catch the vinos up on your life a bit because last time you're on the pod was January 2020. And then nothing significant happened after that. Pre-pandemi levato. Yeah. Pre-pandembre. Dembri. Dembred.

I really, I wish I had a lot to share. But like, I feel like. We were kind of the people that were really staying careful with our little, little kids. And I didn't really have much of a life for two years. What the good thing is for you is being home with someone like Nick is you get the most incredible cocktails and food. I definitely. And you have your entertainment because your kids are amazing. Because my husband decided, Kate, you know how everyone decided they were going to learn how to make bread?

yes yeah and then people did it for like two weeks Nick still makes bread like he never stopped he learned how to make bread and then he perfected it yeah and then on top of that he was like well the liquor store delivers now so we just started making a bunch of fun cocktails all the time and so which people are not following at bitters and bread

yeah so we created a page because he okay he's not going to be mad at me saying this but he is horrible at Instagram like he was trying to share it's so hot. Yeah, you know, he does suck like at Instagram. And it's a great thing. Like you don't want him to be too good at it. Yeah. No. No. He's definitely not an influencer in any means. But he was trying to share his bread and we and then we got a pizza oven. So making pizza all the time and all the yummy cocktails just for his like 200 friends. And but he would, you know the filters like when you swipe and then no one uses the ones that like look grainy and brown? Yeah. he would use that for, like, food. You're making your food look gross. And then he would put, like, tuna sandy. Like, that's all he would put.

He wouldn't say, like, how to make it or anything. I was like, you're so bad at this. So then I said, first of all, we should just make a public account because it's not like this is like a private information. Like, I'm not posting pictures of our kids and stuff. So I was like, let's just make a public account. And like, you just tell me how you made it. I'll take the picture of it.

Like, stop, please stop taking pictures. You suck at pictures. He can't even take a good picture of me after 13 years It's like he always tries to go The down angle And like, stop Anyway

I do all the pictures And I posted them And then you mentioned it once And then we got like 18,000 followers That's awesome though That's so because you First of all You are so good at the photography

And the captions Because you make it Entertaining and informative Yes And I'll tell you how to make it And I also want to make you laugh Yeah Do I?

And who does it? doesn't like to see food and cocktails. Exactly. Everyone. Um, what's your favorite bitters and bread drink that we've ever made? It was, okay, hold on. I'm going to find it. But it has to be the one we did for your big wine guys. Oh yeah. The sangria spritz. We, we did, what did we call it? Oh, no, we didn't give it a special name. Um, no, I guess we just call it sangria spritz. Um, this is what we said is the perfect summary cocktail. So again, that's coming up again. Yeah. For sipping alongside friends. And then I made a Bachelorette joke because I was like, oh, it's the Bachelorette

premiere tonight. Co-hosted by my bestie, Caitlin. And then I said, I'm not here to make friends, cross-out friends, and I wrote basic cocktails. So this one, I mean, this one has quite a lot of ingredients. So it's definitely a special occasion thing. It's not something you're just going to whip up, like, for

any old occasion, but and it also takes prep. Like, you got to make a hibiscus tea and then you got to let it cool. And I was so nervous because you asked us to do this for your big wine guys live Zoom or whatever. And I was like, Nick, I think I think we made up something that's going to be like, people aren't going to want to make this. They're going to be like, okay, that's a lot because it has rosé vodka, apparel, Americano Rosa, which is like kind of like a vermouth. Yeah.

And then it has soda water and hibiscus tea, lemon juice, and then slices of orange grapefruit and strawberries. It tastes amazing. And it's meant to be like in a big jug or like a punch bowl or something. Anyway, I was, I felt so proud because, I mean, again, your fans are just the best. And we could see all the people on the Zoom like they had their sangria glass and they had their jugs and they were like showing what they did. And I felt like and they all loved it. Unless they were lying. They all loved it.

No, it was the best cocktail ever. But I thought that was so cute too because I was looking at everyone had all of the ingredients. I know. They went out because because you had to send an email out like a week before. so they could prep it and they all they all committed yeah it's it was actually so fun because first of all I feel like when you make a cocktail that you're gonna like really enjoy a lot of people don't go out of their way like that to make themselves a cocktail yeah this is a special occasion one of a gin and soda so I feel like they were so excited to like make a fancy cocktail

in their own home especially during the pandemic wait I'll tell you an easy one okay this one because remember when the friends reunion was on HBO yeah I was so excited for it so I said Nick you got to make like a friend's themed cocktail he's like what does that even mean a friend's theme cocktail. So I was thinking about things from the show. Yeah. And so this is what I wrote. Did you put beef in the trifle?

It's got a hunk of beef in it. No, I'm just kidding. So this is what I wrote. The one where we made a cocktail. Yeah. For the Friends reunion. Inspired by Rachel's English trifle. Spot the raspberries.

It also includes jam. So what's not to like? Before I ramble on for 18 pages front and back. Find the recipe in our reels And that one has Yum, I'm already intrigued I know, I should be making you one Yeah, you should

I know how to make them all once Nick It makes it up Oh Okay, hold on It doesn't need to play How do I pause it? Oh my God, the reel is hilarious I forgot how funny the reel is

Oh, let's post it on Span Sparrows At the beginning I made Nick do this with his hands But he's showing the ingredients And then I was like, is that Joey's hand twin? Okay. This hand is your hand. This hand is my hand.

Oh, wait, that's your hand. No, wait, that's my hand. So this one has gin, lemon juice, a teaspoon of raspberry jam. And then you shake it with ice. Then you pour it in a glass with ice. And then I wrote, I'm in charge of cups and ice. Top with soda, garnished with raspberries or whatever your favorite English trifle ingredient may be.

So you could top it with beef. Lady fingers will just get a little soggy. Yeah. Anyway, that's a really easy one and it's delish. That sounds amazing. That's such a unique way to sweeten a drink too because a lot of people just use simple syrup. Jam it up.

Yeah. Jamming cocktails, I'm telling you. Jam it up. Okay. We're going to do a little manifesting minute. Are you ready? Yes. Wait. I'm going to hold the crystal.

Yeah. This one's speaking to me. It kind of matches my sweater. Yeah, that is a good one. Wait, I want to hold one too. Yeah, you should. The ball. Go for the ball.

Yes. Okay. I got the ball. Okay. So me and Brie, Re and I wanted to do what we're calling a manifesting minute, which is a segment brought to you by Hyundai. So everybody knows that I've been working with Hyundai for a while. Now they've been a sponsor on the podcast for a long time. And I'm loving their new cars, especially their 2022, Tucson and Santa Fe plug-in hybrid EVs. I know you love a hybrid. No, you love the electronic. But anything to do with electricity. I love. Yeah. Well, some might say I'm manifesting one of these right now. It could be my future whip. I think so. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have been so invested in it, but I kept reading about it from the being a sponsor and I was like, wait, dang, I want one. I'm actually looking to upgrade my SCV and we were looking at those exact ones because of the hybrid. Well, let's manifest it. Okay. Let's share some manifesting secrets because when I think about it, it really has been quite the journey the last few years, as everyone knows. But I feel like I've just been shocked when I look back at what I've actually manifested. You are the queen of manifesting. It's bizarre. I don't know how you do it. I really,

I think it's because I'm such a dreamer. Like I'm, I'm, I have very vivid thoughts to the point where I can like, like, feel what it would feel like. You also have psychic abilities. I do have psychic abilities. You are, I think you manifest things that you know you can do and you have a lot of confidence in yourself and that's how you get it done. Yeah. Yeah. I agree.

When I think about things I want to do, I'm like, I can't do that. And I don't believe in myself the way you do. Oh, C and I feel like I could do anything. I know you, you really. Except for my winged eyeliner. I can't do that. Anything except for wing eye. liner on you.

Yeah. Oh, gosh. Okay, let's share some manifesting secrets and maybe everyone listening, they can manifest some things too. Okay. What do you, if you think about manifesting for the second half of 2022, which by the way is right now, second half? No.

Well, June 1st. What? Is the half? Does it start? No, wouldn't it start July 1st? Oh, maybe. Math. Math is hard.

Another thing, I can do it, but not well. Manifest yourself in. grade 12 math. I was in like the class where like, we don't have to do grade 12 math where you just get the 11 in your say that's good enough. That's why I did too. But what do you want to manifest for the second half of 2022?

I want to manifest. Okay. I need to start doing more things for myself, which I actually have started doing. But I need to manifest like a workout routine. And like the, to be able to enjoy that and want to do that for myself. Mm-hmm. That's a good one. I feel like that's doable too. Yeah. I feel like actually, I've already started, but...

Oh, why is my alarm going off at 6 p.m.? It's time to wake up. Because yesterday we took a little quick nap. Oh, that's for sure what it was. I accidentally said it for probably like every day. Yeah. Whoops. My bad. But what a life. I'm setting an alarm for 6 p.m. I feel like that what I've been manifesting is my wine being in Target and just like blowing up in the retail space. feel like I've been writing it down. I did a little staycation in Nashville and I wrote down a few things that I've been manifesting because you got to write it down. That's my first secret.

Okay. Is write it down because you need to physically see it. With a pen and paper, not in your phone. Not on your phone notes. It has to be a pen and paper. You have to say it out loud. And for me, the most important thing is feeling it. So I like take five or more minutes to actually think about what I want and what it would

feel like to have it. Like I will genuinely put myself because I can go so deep into a thought where I I'm like, whoa, did that happen or no? I don't know. But that's what my dreams are too. Like, when I wake up, I'm like, did that happen? Sometimes I don't know if my dream happened. Yeah.

I feel like that's part of it. And then they say energy flows where intentions go. So you have to put your intentions out there and the universe will have your back. Remember we listened to light is the new dark? Yeah. I loved her voice. I know. She's like, work your light.

Some of us are light workers. No, that was okay. That sounded a little Scottish. at the end. Light workers. Mr. Downey, you're a light worker. Okay, wait. Because I used to be one.

Love Mrs. Delfare. Was she Scottish, though? Well, she changed all the time. But in that one, she said... No, no, but that was when Robin Williams, when Mr. Hillard was... He changed the number And then he's pranking

Miranda Because I used to be one There are any boys in the family Oh then I can't take it Because I used to be one Oh god Which is funny because then he dressed up like an old lady It used to be one

Because he used to be one I want to watch that It's actually a really sad movie It will now No but even before he died true. It was sad. I thought it was so funny as a kid and then as an adult that has has children. I'm like, wait, this is so sad. Yeah. But we're manifesting. We're not thinking about dark thoughts. I'm trying to think of any other manifesting tips. I feel like those are like the main

ones. And then just like, even if you see like 11-11 on your clock or whatever time stands out to you. Fully into that right now. Stop in that moment. And sometimes I'll set an alarm for 11-11. I want to naturally look at it, but sometimes I'll set an alarm just so I can manifest in that time. But yeah, look for little signs. Like I... I sometimes feel silly when I think everything's a sign, but if it's like, if that helps you achieve your goals, and I even bought the Mystic Michaela's book, Angel numbers. And then when you see a number, you'll like text me. I'm like, hold on. I'll look it up. Yeah. Look at my book. I love that. And I love Mystic Michaela so much. Well, this little manifesting minute is brought to you by Hyundai to help us all on our life's journey. It's nice. That made me feel good. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot. Let's take a really quick break to talk about mental health because May is actually Mental Health Awareness Month. And if you listen to my pod, which you are, you know how passionate I am about taking care of yourself and your mental health. And even though every month should really be focused on your mental health, May is the perfect reason to prioritize your mental well-being and write yourself a permission slip to get out there and take care of you.

A licensed talk space therapist can help you identify what the permission looks like, whether it's setting stronger boundaries, letting something go or gaining the courage to try something different. therapy has truly helped me in all areas of my life, my relationships, my confidence, my ability to set boundaries and work, everything. And I know firsthand that working on your mental health can be really tough, but Talkspace really does make connecting to a licensed therapist so easy and that you can stop setting it aside and putting it on the back burner because with Talkspace, you can talk to a therapist 24-7 without needing an appointment, and they have therapists across dozens of specialties so that you can find what you're looking for. So consider

this your permission slip to put your mental health first match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com and use promo code vine during sign up to get $100 off your first month that's huge that's $100 off at talkspace.com promo code vine this is off the vine grape therapy so I don't know if you've been listening to the pod lately if you didn't get my lubed up joke sorry I listened to the one with your sister it was the last one I listened to it was funny it was good it was so I was dying when you were coming up with your family band names and you're like every other Christmas Every other Sunday is actually a really great band name. Oh, I thought you're going to say that is a band. I'm like, never heard of them. No, no, it's a good. Taking Back Sunday is a band name. I was thinking of taking back Sunday. Yeah, every other Sunday. But I've been prank calling people and I've been going back and forth on if I should keep doing it or not because sometimes I like, it makes me really nervous or I feel mean or I think what you need to start doing and this is coming from my radio days. Yeah, tell me.

What you need to do when you prank somebody is you need to confess, hey, it's actually Caitlin from off the vine. Yeah, okay, fair. Because then it's not me. When you, like, hung up, when you made that teacher a thing that she had a parent was against her, I was like, oh, my God. But the thing is, her friend was there recording it and then after telling them. So I always just like left it up to the friends to tell them in that moment. I think you should tell them because then it'll make their life.

I did get some feedback from the vine. I was being like, it feels really mean. That one did feel mean. I was like, oh my gosh, she's going to think she's in trouble. I actually do agree with that. I'm like, okay, I'll tell them. You should definitely tell them. So what I really want to do with you is I thought it would be fun to switch it up a bit

and make it more exhilarating, more maybe competitive, because that's just who I am. Especially with me for some reason. It's with people that I love the most. I'm like the most competitive way. Like my sister and I in Wordle, like if we beat each other, we're like, it'll ruin our days. I'm not like that with you with Wordle. I like encourage you.

Is the microphone doing that weird thing? Oh, no, it's good. Oh, sorry, I just kicked you. Because you're trying to bring me down a notch. Nancy Kerrigan. You mean Tanya Harding, your leg right now just to throw you off. Actually, it was Tanya Harding's husband's friend. Yeah, did watch the movie.

But, okay, I love a good game. Naturally, I made a game out of this. Have you heard of the No Laughing Game? Well, I think I can figure out how it goes. It's where you can't laugh. So we'll go back and forth. Okay. Oh, my God.

You always make me laugh. Oh, what? I'm already trying not to laugh. Just looking at my dumb face. Looking at your gap into your holes. Looking at my shitty eyeliner that you did. Looking at the booger in your nose. I did have a boogie in my nose.

It's gone. No, it's okay. Happens to everyone. Happens to the best of us. Okay. So we have to, we have 20 seconds to get all of our laughs out. Okay. I've been laughing this whole time.

I know, but. La. Okay. Psych out. Marty. Okay. I can't. Be serious.

Ready? Whoever last first has to do the prank call. You didn't even let me finish the funny moment. Your wind up was funny. No. Oh, my God. Like, no matter how old I am in life, a fart sound will always be funny

and it comes from an armpit. What's that called when you do that? Armip fart. Just called an armpit first. Oh, my gosh. God, I was literally going to lay down and do it. Sounds like a dog toy. Katie, I was going to lay down and do it.

My dogs just come running through. Armipet? I'll see your armpit and I'll raise your knees. I'll raise your knee part. Well, you lost. So you have to do the first prank call. Okay, fine. Okay, so Kate, let's pick which one.

Okay. Oh, I'm nervous. Let's see. Do you, let me, oh, shake. My God, is it my cousin? I have a cousin, Shayla. Is her dad's name Rick? No.

Uncle Gord. Well, Shayla from Alberta wants us to prank call her dad, Rick. And ask if he owns a house on Lakeland Drive. Let's play the voicemail and then go from there. Okay. Okay. Hi, Caitlin. So I have a prank call idea for you.

And I think that this is just like hilarious. So I just moved in. to a new house with one of my best friends, and we love teasing my dad and saying, like, oh, you can't stop buying an ounce because there's always men here, and we have, like, this huge joke that it's like, we have different men here all the time. So I think it would be so funny if you called him and asked him if he owns a house on Lakeland Drive, and he co-send on my mortgage, so his name is on the house, and tell him that you, like, live in the neighborhood, and that you're really concerned about the amount of

men coming in and out of the house and you're concerned that it might be some kind of like brothel slash pimp situation um i think that would be so freaking funny so my name is jela and my dad's name is rick his phone number is so yeah alberta canada okay love you so much bye oh yeah wait what should my name be um shirley shirley's good um well oh i was gonna do a second They're an accent, but in Alberta, we don't have those. We could save that for the next one. Okay.

But I thought I'm doing this one. Yeah, you are. I'm nervous. My heart's pounding. I know. This is what happens? Oh, my God, is it rain? I'm scared.

Oh, I said, is it raining? I was like, I don't know. What's... Okay, ready? Oh, my God. On Rick. Answer the phone, Rick. Hello?

Hi. Is Rick there? Uh, no, you have the wrong number. Is this Shayla? Nope. Oh, okay, never mind. Sorry. Wait, wait, wait, question.

Are you still there? Yeah. Do you know who Caitlin Bristow is? Sorry, who's sorry? Caitlin Bristow? No. Keep her humble. Never mind.

Shit. Okay, love you, bye. Did I dial the wrong number? That was funny though No, sorry That's hilarious Wait, I think the joke might be on us Did she just want to humble the fuck to me?

He also kind of sounded like Shayla Yeah I was like, wait, Shayla, it's We're trying out of the prank Shayla Yeah, I think the joke was on us there Oh my God, you got out of it No, I'll do the next one

I really want to practice my Tennessee accent Okay, fine Then we'll call Lindsay from Tulsa All right Pranker Wait, I went back into Australia All right maybe I'll be British prank her husband selling her house and willing to buy $400

over asking price 400,000 sorry I'll give you 400 I will give you 400 dollars over asking price that's even funnier but 400,000 dollars over asking price oh my god oh that's so sad what if you got a deal of a deal and you're like just getting let's say 400 dollars yeah say 400 that's even funnier okay let's listen to the voicemail hi kately this is lindsay again from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I forgot to leave my husband's number, but I was hoping you would prank call him. We just got married last October. Our house is currently under contract, almost completely sold, and we're getting asking price. But I think it would be so funny if you called him and acted like someone that's willing to pay like $400,000 over asking price with the way that

the market is right now. He would completely shit his pants. So I would just love if you did that. His number is... Thanks, love you, bye. Everyone says, love you, bye. Love you, bye. That's what I do. There you go. And if he doesn't answer, still leave a whole voicemail and do the 400,000 and then say at the end. Oh, my God, I'm shaking.

I know, I know. I can't even hit dial. I get like this every time. Okay. Your call has been forward. Okay. The voicemail is. there this is shirley viny i am a friend of lindsay's and she was mentioning that y'all had your

house up for sale and i went online and i saw everything about it and i just i really got to say i'm hoping that the house hasn't been sold and if so please this is urgent get back to me because i i'm willing to go you know between 400 and 400 thousand dollars over asking because I have that house I just I don't know what to tell you So once again That's Shirley Vining Once again that's Ruth Langmore

Shirley Vining You can look me up on Facebook At Off the Vine At Off the Vine And you were supposed to pick up the phone Lindsay's husband We didn't get your name Lindsay's husband But you're being prank called on Off the Vine podcast

Always always answer numbers that you don't know who they are. Yeah, unless it says most likely scam, answer it because you never know who it could be. You could just hang up on us. But you know what? He's got pranked. We got pranked, but my favorite is Brie goes,

I'm willing to pay 400 to 400,000 to 400,000. Shirley, I looked around the room, off the vine, Shirley, behind him. It's like on family guy. When Peter, okay, we're still leaving the voice now. Yeah. When Peter Griffin is like trying to come with a fake. name. They're like, who did this? What's your name, sir? And he goes, uh, uh, and he like,

sees a pee on, like, somebody's eating peas. Like, oh, yeah. And he goes, uh, uh, pee. And then there was like a rip at a piece of paper. He's like, tear. And then a bird goes by. He's like, Griffin. Oh, my gosh. Oh, that was the voicemail. Oh, you hung up. Yeah, I did. He was probably like, if he has visual voicemail. What's a visual voicemail? What's a visual voicemail? Oh. Oh. It's just a transcript. Oh, my God. I hope so.

I have to call an Uber for us. Okay. I'm just going to quickly call an Uber. Oh my gosh. I didn't tip that last guy. You still can, can't you? Give him five stars. He gave you his card.

Oh, yes. Three guys in a bowtie. I threw it out today because I didn't know what it was. I'll go in the garbage to get it. They were like, what the hell is this? We had the most Liddy City Uber last night. Our Uber was the best. He was dancing with us, and we were like genuinely dancing.

He was in an amazing vehicle. I felt like I was a princess. Well, that's, I'm a bougie traveler and I will only get black SDVs. Got it. Yeah. But we really had a time. It was probably the best part of the night, the way home. Why did we love that so much?

Because we love music. We listen to music loud in the car together. Yeah, we're listening Jack Harlow. Oh, yeah. And then I said put on church Hill Downs and we were just viving. Yeah, we were vivying. Yeah, we were vying. Okay.

I think Shirley Vinyy. be a recurring character. Shirley Viney's good. I always say Amanda. I'm like, it's Amanda. Huggy kiss. Amanda. Yes.

Oh, God, that's amazing. Okay. How do we rate my accent? Like, was that legit? Or was it like... You sounded like Ruth Langmore, which is my favorite southern accent. Who's Ruth Langmore?

What the, darling? Ozark. Yeah. Oh, well, that's a compliment. Her, she's amazing at action. She's so good. But my favorite is when she's like, the problem here is you're playing chess

while I'm playing... No, I'm playing chess while you're playing... Candyland. Oh, Candyland. Yeah, it's good. I don't watch Ozark. That's good. What? I didn't like it. Oh, no, no. Well, then that really ruins the next segment of this podcast because it's

Ozark trivia. It's called the K-Bri-F-F quiz, and I don't know who you are anymore. You're like, you're definitely not my best friend. Yeah. I'm going to have to ask you to retry that one, okay? I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Politely. Okay, I'm going to read off a question, and then we both answer on a sheet of paper. flip it at the same time.

Oh, we're not prepared. Just a good old competition. Okay, let's just say it at the same time, actually. So I'm going to read off a question, and then we'll both answer on the count of three and see who knows each other better. Oh, my God. Okay.

Breeze questions. Breeze coffee shop order. Ready? One, two, three. Grande Americano with a splash of meat. I feel like you were waiting for me to say it. This is how well I know myself? Why did I say it too?

Oh, yeah. It's like you were doing that thing on us and now we were like, A Grand Day of Americano. But we did say the same with me. Okay, your default binge TV show on Netflix when you can't decide what you want to watch. Okay, you know the answer to this, but I'm going to guess, and it's Netflix only, okay, not Not Hulu, not anything else. Okay, but you may not have the same Netflix stuff as me.

Well, it's Grey's Anatomy. That's not my default. It's not? No. I've watched all of it. What is it? Full House. Damn.

Really? It's my comfort show. I get that. I get that. Okay. What store has the biggest charge on your credit card? Wait, I have to think. Where do I spend all my money?

Oh. Okay. Botox. Yeah. I was like, wait. The one that I have. to be like, I have to warn my husband before I go get it. Yeah.

Okay. What song would you sing for karaoke night? Britney, I have. Okay. I actually, which one? Because it's not baby one more time. Like, which one do I do? Lucky.

No, but I should do lucky. That's a good one. Um, wait. Early morning. Shane wakes up. Wait, which one do I do? Um, do you drive me crazy. No, I do, oops, I did it again.

I do it again. Yeah. I like to do the, I thought the old lady dropped it into. the ocean in the end. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You shouldn't have. What is Bree's number one love language? Oh. Acts of service. Just kidding. Quality time. Just kidding. Words of affirmation. Yeah. Wow. I actually did know that. I don't know why. You know my word, gal. I know. And but I do think you like acts of service too. Well, here's the thing. My husband loves acts of service. And he gives me all the acts of service. And then he goes, why don't you appreciate that I made all

this food and drinks for you? I'm like, I'm like, because I need you to tell me that you love the meat with your words. That is so fair. And then because I know his are acts of service, like, I'll do, I'll be like, I'll make him breakfast and stuff, even though I, like, really don't want to. You are good at breakfast sandwiches. I am. Well, that's how I got good, loving my husband.

What's the name of Bree's first boyfriend? We always talk about him on the freaking podcast. Wait, are we talking about like when I was in grade five? Your first boyfriend ever. Brody. Oh, my God. I did have a two-week relationship with roadsters, but, no, okay, grade five boyfriend. Think of my grade five boyfriend.

We were friends and then we, the people surround us and I wish. Oh, yeah. People surrounded us and they were like, you have to date. And then I do remember. And then I was like, okay, I guess we're dating. And then we didn't talk for six months while we were dating. And then they would surround, they would surround us and be like, kiss. kids. Okay, who was it? And then my friend married him. Who was it? Steve B. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Okay. My questions. Ready?

Okay. What's my coffee shop order? Well, it was the same as me today. Okay, Grande Americano with a splash of oat milk or you just did pistachio syrup or? Yeah, one pump of pistachio. Yeah. Okay, what's my default binge TV show on Netflix? Friends. Yes. It's not on Netflix. anymore, but it was. Oh, it is in Canada. Come on. Is it really? Yeah. Or I think we have it on Crave. Um, one of the two. I think we have it on both. Okay. What is my go-to karaoke song? Oh, um, there's two. You definitely know one. Is it like an alt 90s rock? No. I thought you were like for sure like Nirvana. Well, I mean, I would sing all the songs, but come on, you know this. Well, let me bring it back to the song.

God, I feel like an idiot. You performed this at my wedding. Shoop. Yeah. Unannounced. Or my humps. Oh, my God. Okay, I feel dumb.

Yeah, you knew that. What is my biggest charge on my credit card? The talks. No. Oh, oh, dog food. No. Don't you know I get all this stuff for free? I know.

It's so annoying. It's Erytia? It's skincare. Okay. I thought you got that for free, too. I do. I'm just trying to not be such a dark right now. I don't have a credit card bill. I don't have any bills.

Mine's like flight. Like Delta probably has the most money. What is my number one love language? Quality time. Yes. It changed. It used to be words of affirmation. You are 100% quality time. Yes, I am. What was the name of my first boyfriend? You just said, Dave. No, he was my first one.

Dale. I think all these Ladoque shoutouts. We had the same ones like my... Yeah, and then he was my boyfriend. Yeah. I let you have them. We literally always find a way. Like, we never talk about him.

And then on the podcast. I know. And then, like, one time he sent me a message. He was like, he just wrote, ha. Because he, like, heard that I talked about. I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And then he, like, blogging.

No. No, I don't know. But then I didn't see him again. Well, let's, we have to go to dinner. So we need to wrap this puppy up. Okay. And tie it with a little bow and a note that says, thank you to the vinos. Oh, yeah, right.

For everything. Yeah. It's the anniversary. Also, I love that we're. podcasting in my office in the freaking off the vine headquarters, finally. Finally in Nashville. And let's go eat some delicious Nashville food. Deal. Keep on rocking in the free world and do do do do do do do. I feel like he's got that copy written. Maybe we shouldn't say that. Well, shout out to Nard wall. Nard wall. Is it Nardwall? Nard wall. Yeah. Okay. Love him. Love you. Love you.

Okay, bye. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

Who's not with OTV? I'm Jamie Beebe. And I'm Jake Deptula. We're the host of the Strictly. stalking podcast. Strictly stalking is a true crime podcast that explores stalking stories told by the survivors in their own words. Join us every Tuesday as we interview survivors, advocates, and experts to give you a deep dive into the workings of a stalking case. Would you know where to turn if you or someone you know is being stalked? We'll also give you

the resources to fight back, know your rights, and get justice. Find Strictly stalking wherever you listen to podcasts from Podcasts from Podcasts. All this month, stream the funniest films for free on Pluto TV. Watch comedy classics like Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy, and mean girls, or drop in for a Tyler Perry marathon with a Medea family funeral and Medea's witness protection. Pluto TV also has hundreds of channels and thousands of movies and TV shows like Get Shorty, Be Cool, Key and Peel, Comedy and Color, and more. And no contracts, no subscriptions, no fees, no joke. So download the Pluto TV app on your favorite streaming device and start laughing today. Pluto TV, drop in, watch free.