Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: The Lo down
Episode Date: June 14, 2018Kaitlyn is joined by friend and stylist Lo to recap the Bachelorette, struggle with sound effects, and endings that leave you wanting more See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and... California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen.
We're on with OTV.
Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grace Therapy.
Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions.
Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor.
Let's shake it up some more.
Here's Caitlin.
Welcome to Grave Therapy.
We're on.
Oh.
We're on.
But we were just talking.
Lowe was just filled in of my misophonia that I've talked about on many podcasts, which
just kind of shows what kind of listener you are, Lowe.
Well, here's the thing.
I tuned that part out because I thought it was an alternative fact.
I thought you were just kidding.
But I realized it is.
Misophonia is no joke.
Misophonia.
It's no joke.
Because you were talking about that video with that woman.
The woman that eats pickles.
Why does she do this?
I love her.
I think it's hilarious.
And a lot of people, a lot of YouTubers have done something similar.
What's it called?
There's a specific name for it.
Chewing?
No, no.
Like crunching, smacking.
No, no.
Recording yourself where it's only that low sound.
It's called like I as, I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
Anyway, I actually, it's kind of soothing.
You are a weird, weird guy.
I love the sound of crunching and.
Do you really?
I wonder if there's a name for that, that you enjoy that sound.
Wait, have I even introduced you yet?
Oh, no, sorry.
Everybody, low is my co-host today.
You may remember him from such podcasts as me, Jess, Graff, and Cody.
Who else?
Also.
Oh, Tyler, Henry, the Medium.
Yep.
You remember that.
I'm back, everyone.
He back for a good old fashion Thursday.
Grape therapy.
Yay.
Why did I just do a southern accent?
A little southern.
fire pay what's up what's it how's your thursday going you know what it's i've had better i'll put it
well good thing you're on grape therapy because i need it you know your session is now starting
and um we're here to make you feel better about whatever happened in your day so please is this a safe
place this is the place with the tree and the trust in the nest and uh we're here for you perfect
tell us your problems so here's the thing oh god no okay i'm not trying to be
but it was a pretty traumatic experience you're not being dramatic i saw the pictures okay so i
ordered a sandwich and if you're eating right now you might want to press pause yeah just
on this drop your sandy go on low so uh i was with a friend and we ordered uh sandwich and a little
pasta from the local corner bakery corner bakery is well known oh very it's like a panera owned by
the same people i don't actually i don't think it's
I looked it up.
It's not owned by the same person.
Corner Bakery owns, the owner has another restaurant.
I think it's called Ilfer Nio.
It's an Italian spot.
Is it a chain?
This bakery?
Yeah, Corner Bakery.
It's on every corner.
Oh, that makes sense.
Is it just in L.A.?
Actually, no, because their headquarters is in Dallas.
I know they have several locations.
I grew up eating.
I've been going to Corner Bakery for well over 15 years.
Which means you were due for a bad experience.
Yep.
And today was that day.
It was a double whammy.
so order this meal we get the uh the sandwich in this delicious little pasta dish yeah and i i decided to go in and take a bite of my pinini yeah as you would as you would yeah and uh i bit into well i bit and i knew right away that there was a hair in it because i could what texture was the hair was it right off the head or was it like a little wiry definitely there was a little bit of root oh and as i pulled out
As I pulled out the sandwich, you know, pulled the sandwich away from my mouth, the hair went with it.
Like, it was stuck in the sandwich.
The other part was in my mouth.
Like, have you ever had a hair in your butt crack and you pull it out and you're like, oh, no, and it keeps going?
No.
Oh, yeah.
Just kidding me either.
I've had that happen with my dog, like a dingleberry.
Oh, yeah.
I've never experienced that.
Oh, yeah, me either.
Go on.
So I do that.
And I'm like, oh, that's disgusting.
You know, but it happens, hair happens in food.
It's inevitable in the industry.
Yeah.
But you put, you were done with the sandwich.
I was like, I'm done.
See, I would have just pulled the hair and then I would have been like, you know what I'm real hungry.
I would have.
Bold.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I was done with that.
So I tossed a sandwich and then my friends like, well, you can have some pasta.
We'll share the pasta.
I said, okay, let's do that.
So I put some on my plate.
I'm eating it.
I take a bite and there's, no, it's a pasta dish.
There's, it's like a little, I don't even know the name.
the noodle doesn't really matter but it doesn't it's all it's a soft noodle it's not a
penny but it's also not like a spaghetti it's more of a rigatoni it's more of a
rigatoni so i it's called pesto cavatopi is the dish then i think it's a cavatopi yeah it's
delicious so we ordered that um i had a bite of it i take my first bite find something very
crunchy up in there i bit into it it actually scraped the top of my mouth i'm actually
getting a little bit sick so i was like oh so i pull or i spit out
the food from my mouth and I don't see anything there because it's all covered in
sauce it's all been chewed up and then I did a little dissecting if you will and I
discovered a bloody nail and okay I'll let everybody gag for a second not just a bloody
nail like a full blown fake nail like like the full nail it was the entire nail bed yeah
the entire nail bed full like very very fresh manicured too because it was full sparkle
Yeah, it was silver, sparkled.
Yeah, very sparkly.
And the back was fully bloody.
Yeah.
And, uh, and yeah.
So I saw the photo.
I'm, I'm like, I wish you never showed me that, but I'm glad you did because I don't think I would have really known.
I know.
The level of blood.
Right.
So I called corner.
I was like, oh, this is just.
I did get, oh, right away, gagging.
I'm so disgusted.
And, uh, so I called corner bakery.
And I was like, hey, this is what happened.
They said, uh, we.
are very doubtful that happened on our watch because all of our people in the kitchen wear gloves.
I said, well, I have a buddy.
She probably put on a glove and it snapped her nail off and then ended up in your rigatoni.
Yeah.
And in my mouth.
And in your mouth.
Yeah.
So they were like, no.
And, you know, we have them wear hairnets as well.
So, you know, can you please send us pictures?
I hate what people are defensive like that.
I'm like, I'm not made.
Like, I don't want to call it.
I don't want to call Corner Bakery corporate on a Saturday or whatever on a Wednesday.
Yeah.
Um, anyway. So they basically said, we'll send us pictures and we will try to get you a reimbursement. Sorry that happened. We'll get you a reimbursement. That's it. Thank you. Here's your $12 back, sir. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Not even a complimentary cookie. Oh. I know. My gosh. At corner bakery. Yeah. At corner bakery. We see you. Yeah. And we're never going to see you again. I actually won't be going back because that's disgusting. No. And I, uh, I won't be going ever. Never have. Never will. You know.
I don't think they're in Canada.
No.
There's no corner bakeries in Canada.
There's Tim Hortons.
Oh, good old Tim Snortons.
I love those little Tim Bits.
Those little donut.
They're so good.
Love Tim Bits.
Anyway.
I might actually be converting.
I think I'm a big Dunkin' Donuts guy.
Duncan Donuts.
Yeah.
You know what?
So I was at Dallas Airport.
Yeah.
Got myself a delicious glaze.
Yeah.
What are the little donuts called?
Donut holes?
Donut holes.
That's such an American.
thing by the way they're well you have 10 bits oh what's the blueberry one um blueberry glaze
yeah oh it's amazing everything yeah i don't even mind if it's a little bit old up in that airport
i'll still eat it me too yeah that's great me too i actually like their sandwiches breakfast
sandwiches oh i was you're just gonna say that i love an everything bagel sandwich yeah and uh all about
it and a nice little coffee treat to go along with it hazelnut hazelnuts the best uh okay so i thought
we would do a little bachelorette recap after we got over your disgusting story we just need
to forget about it move on to better things on to bigger better things jordan oh my god my favorite
the best is when he tried to throw out the chirp like like he's just making scrambled eggs every day
it's like oh it sounds terrible i'm like that sounds really nice his one-liners they're everything
yeah his make-believe words i love it yeah i'm like sometimes i question my i'm like am i
the dummy and then i'll google the word i'm like no that's definitely not a word my
professionality was that when he said yeah wait that's when i'm googling that's when i'm pretty sure
he made up what was it professionality pro
professionality i think he said something along the lines up like he lives his life with
professionality look at i i googled professionality i said is professionality a word
uh this picture comes right up it says professionality oh it is word
Jokes on us
Oh, sorry Jordan
Jokes on us
We're the dummies
Yeah, really
He does have a high IQ
I'll give him that
I will give
Oh
Oh Becca just text me
Huh
What are the chances
We're talking about you right now
Okay so I have zero clue
What's going on still
With the Colton Tia Becca situation
Because we have got zero explanation
About the Colton Tia thing
Like they're like
Oh I'd hung out with Tia for a weekend
And then it's like
Well does she still have feelings for you
Did you sleep with her?
Did you, no, he did.
She said on the episode, they just kissed.
Got it.
I was fast-forwarding through that part with you.
And he also apparently is a virgin.
Don't believe it.
Yeah.
I mean, good for him if he is.
Right.
It's a beautiful thing.
Yeah.
All the power to you.
I think that's what my nickname was on the show, too, the virgin.
Uh, uh.
The virgin steeler.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thief.
The virgin thief.
But I just feel like.
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Sip in their cocktails.
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I just feel like we don't have answers.
I'm like, Tia, do you still have feelings for him?
How did he not?
How was it just like, oh, well, I'm going to go on the show now.
And then was she maybe filming Paradise?
so she didn't have her phone, so she didn't know.
Could be.
But I don't know because she said it was airing.
It was before her season aired.
So no.
It wouldn't.
I don't know.
I don't get the timeline.
I'm confused.
Tia,
please text me.
I have questions.
And then I need to completely throw you under the bus and talk about it on my podcast.
But anyways,
I just don't understand.
I want to know if she sells feelings for him because obviously it didn't, it wasn't like,
yeah, see, maybe she went to paradise and found somebody else.
And maybe that's why they're not making a big deal of it.
Isn't she from?
She's from Wiener, Arkansas.
Okay.
Yeah, it's called Wiener.
So she's up in the Wiener, Arkansas, and he's in Boston or so it would have been long
distance anyway.
He's all up in Boston not using his wiener.
Oh, there you go.
Burj of jokes.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm the worst.
But yeah, so I don't know.
I don't understand.
But anyways, you disagreed with me on this.
Did you?
I said, I feel like Colton might be a little bit calculated.
Yeah, I don't think so.
I love that we've got a little banter going here.
I love that we have a disagreement.
Definitely.
That makes for a great podcast.
Yeah,
a divide if you will.
I don't think so because I just look at it like he's feeling it out.
And I hope you're right.
Yeah.
And I don't know.
I'm not saying he is calculated.
I'm saying there's a chance because of the words he uses like when he's like,
you know, Tia is here and I am grateful that she is here.
Yeah.
I think that he,
once you have that camera up in his face,
he's the most awkward person.
Like you wouldn't want him to give a toast.
No.
You wouldn't want him to do any public speaking.
Which he's on the wrong.
show because before
you do anything on the show
they make you go around the room and do
toasts and everybody has to do one on every
date whether it's a one-on-one a two-on-one
a group date a three-on-one
everybody in the room
like an ice-breaking exercise nope it's just so that they have
choices when they do the editing
and airing that they pick people's toast so he
you know I don't think he should give a toast and he probably had to give a few
and I'm really curious as to what those would look like
yeah terrible I guarantee
it goes a little something like this right reasons here for the journey and i'm very grateful for
the experience very grateful follow your heart yeah follow your heart and your dreams i am a virgin
i am virgin i shouldn't make fun of that i actually think it's great no yeah i do if if it is true
well i'm watching handmade stale so oh what does that mean i don't know i don't know what that has
do with being a virgin that's like my friend cleo her boyfriend was with us in napa and he's like
my parents need to tell everybody that they're from um oh my gosh i'm such a can't think of states
maybe it starts with a w wisconsin yes yes thank you they'll be like oh do you want to try this
cheese i don't know i'm from wisconsin you know us wisconsiners yeah and everything he does he
goes well you know we're from wisconsin so and so now i just feel that way with what you just
Yeah, completely random, just throwing it in there.
I watch Handmaid's Tale on Hulu.
I watch Hammond's tail, so.
So he's a virgin.
So he's definitely a virgin, and we don't judge.
Anyways, after the spot day, all the guys sitting around at the cocktail party with their nails done was the best.
I loved that.
Yeah, it was amazing.
Some of the guys, you can tell we're uncomfortable with it.
Be comfortable getting your nails done.
I got mine done today.
You did, yes.
Nice thick and a shine.
You always have a, wow.
Whoa.
Look at those non-existent cuticles.
Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
They chopped them all off.
Well, here's the thing.
Well, I, people look at my hands all the time based on my profession.
Right.
So I just try and keep them beautiful because I get very self-conscious.
Like I'm putting jewelry on people.
I'm a stylist, everyone, if you're wondering, like, what is talking about?
I tag you in everything that I wear always.
You dress me for everything I do, The Bachelorette.
If I do any appearance on TV ever, Steve Harvey.
I have so much fun doing it, though.
I love it.
Every single thing I do, I'm like, no, I need you.
You gave me my red carpet moment.
for CMAs, but we're going to talk about that on off the vine.
Got it.
We're doing two podcasts this week.
Everybody, that's how much I love Lowe.
Oh, I'm honored and so excited.
Oh, are you freaking Colton?
I'm super grateful for the experience.
I'm super grateful.
Are you just loving the journey and here for the right reasons?
Really, though.
I think that's why I like Colton.
I kind of see myself in Colton.
Oh.
Minest the, well, no, I could.
You're like, wait a second.
No, I take it all back.
I immediately regret it.
The town bike.
Everyone's at a ride.
Oh,
the down bike.
Anyway, okay.
Oh, Becca forgot Jason's name.
Did she?
Yeah, I fast forwarded through that part with you.
I was trying to give you the clip notes.
Not memorable.
She forgot his name and I was like, that's okay.
I too forget Jason's name because I call him Andrew Keegan.
Oh, yeah.
Vampire Andrew Keegan.
Yep.
Which ain't a bad thing.
For anyone who is wondering who Andrew Keegan is.
Don't Google him now.
No.
Google old Andrew Keegan.
Oh, no.
Google 2000.
Andrew Geegan.
Yeah.
I had his picture up in my locker at school and on my walls at home.
What movie was he in?
Like his huge movie.
Everyone loved him for him.
Ten things I hate about you.
Uh-huh.
Opposite Heath Ledger.
Yes.
R-I-P.
But I do actually feel like he was in, um...
He wasn't a lot of stuff in the 90s and 2000s.
That wasn't his big moment.
Not 10 Things I Hate About You wasn't his...
Probably his biggest moment in his career.
The Bachelorette this year.
He's back.
He's back in a big way.
This time going after Beck's heart.
Andrew Kagan.
Okay, wait.
Let's see.
Ten things I hate about you.
Oh, what?
Maybe that was his big thing.
Yeah, that's it.
Interesting.
Well, why?
He was just like on those teen bop magazines all the time.
Oh, yeah.
As like a heartthrob.
You see Canadian?
Was he a big deal in Canada?
Well, yeah.
He was in my locker.
The microphone makes a buzzing noise
Every time I bring my phone up to it
High quality over here in the hotel room
Anyways, Kigs
That's what I'm going to call Jason from now on
So Kigs is the one that
Fell off his bed
No
We'll get into him later
That mess
Keeks we liked remember we're like
Oh he's kind of smooth
And he liked him and he had good vibes
And he was just laughing on the sidelines
He kind of feels like a guy
He works at Chase Bank
I don't know what he does in his real life
But he feels like very
He works at Chase Bank
Oh no I don't know
I was like, nailed it.
He just has a normal guy.
I like him.
He seems nice.
Yeah, he seems like just like Andrew Kagan.
I was going to come up with something different.
I'm like, he just seems like Andrew Kagan.
David is the guy who fell off the bed.
Chicken, David.
Why are you so obsessed with Jordan?
He's so obsessed with him.
Yeah.
Like his whole, like everything that he wants from the show is for Jordan to fail.
and he uses his time with Becca to talk about Jordan.
So crazy twist, Jordan and chicken, David, David, I think they dated.
Yeah, we're going to find that out later in the episode, plot twist.
Pride month.
Yeah.
They're gay.
No, I'm kidding.
I don't know if they're gay.
But anyway, I do have to say that.
Him falling off the bed is a traumatic experience.
As a deep sleeper myself, I would have done the same thing.
Luckily I had the bottom bunk in the mansion
Otherwise you know
I mean it's a mansion
I would expect that they all have their own comfortable beds
They want to make you uncomfortable
Really? Yeah you don't have you have bunk beds
That you share like numerous bunk beds in a room
So two on one side two on there
So four in a room is that how I want to know
Give me some okay I want to know the scoop
So you walk inside the front door and there's a staircase to your left
You go out that staircase and there's a like huge walking closet
Where you keep all your suitcases
then there's a huge master bathroom where the toilet room is very small and how many bathrooms how
many bathrooms um total only four wow yeah four and then there's three bedrooms upstairs and a laundry
room three bedrooms one really big one that has five sets of bunk beds sounds like 10 beds yeah and then
the other room only has a few others anyways is there a way for you to get your like the favorite
it gets their own room or it's only two people in there like you guys a little fighting over
the rooms or anything they you walk in and you have a name on where what bed you have like you
don't even get to pick good thread count on the sheets I don't even remember toilet trees provided
I honestly had the best sleeps in that mansion I don't know why it was uncomfortable and there's
like stage lighting in there you like that prison yeah I was into it it was like I knew I couldn't
be anywhere else like I was like I've nowhere to be this is like where I'm supposed to be right now
It's really sad.
Yeah.
I can't go anywhere.
Yeah.
I'm stuck here.
I'm trapped here.
I have no phone to look at.
Oh, my.
Oh, wow.
Yeah,
you would not last.
That's the trippy part is no phones.
Oh,
that's tough for me.
I actually saw a guy at the beginning of this.
You can't even text like anyone from your family.
No.
Oh, how long?
How long?
Well, it depends how long you last.
Oh, but 11 weeks max?
You made it to the final round.
I don't keep doing that.
So that was 11 weeks for you?
It was nine weeks for me on the bachelor.
and then 11 weeks as The Bachelorette.
No contact with your friends or family.
No one.
That's a lot.
It's messed up.
Especially now in the day of Instagram and.
Yeah, it was kind of nice though.
Not for you because you love Instagram.
I do so much.
But I'm like an Insta hater.
I like loved not having it.
True.
Yeah, I loved it.
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We'll be right back with more off the Vine, Great Therapy.
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Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy.
I find it insulting that David needs to say things like, you know, I think Becca needs
somebody different than, you don't know Becca.
And if you...
You don't know her story.
You don't know what she's been through.
You don't know.
And like, you should trust that she will see through Jordan and knows that he's just there
for good ratings right now because where would this show be right now without him?
True.
he's very entertaining it wouldn't be the chicken show it's the jordan show it is sorry the male model
sorry yeah sorry sorry about that okay so when she came out so uh jason had run and told her like oh you know
no not jason god i'd make david they all look the same to me chicken had ran up to her yeah and said
you know he has four thousand matches on tinder yeah and if tinder doesn't sponsor jordan after
the show i he needs what worlds do we really live in yeah with a hundred percent
one for one success rate
he's killing it
killing it
why is he even on the bachelorette
if he's getting one for one
like if his success rate is that good
4,000 people are very interested in him
how would he even admit that out loud
I love that she high-fived him
I would have done the exact same thing
I would have been like nice work bro you're not staying here long
so let's just like bro it out
hilarious
my favorite line was
the Jordanism this week was
that his what is that his feet are resting on his porch which is his turn his like way of saying like he's all up in his grill
but what did he say before that he said i should be paying rent for living in david's head which is
great line but then he said yeah my feet are resting on his porch and i was like i don't know
what that means but i'm definitely recycling it like i'm definitely reusing that yeah a hundred
There is a girl, there is a woman who just is such a hater to meet and Sean on Twitter.
Oh my gosh, she says awful things all the time.
She's such a troll.
And every day I'm like, oh my gosh, she just thinks about us all day long.
Like we have so much power.
We just live in her head.
And now I'm like, we are resting our feet on her porch.
Yeah.
I don't know what that means.
Dancing on that porch.
Yeah.
We are dancing all up in the porch on the porch.
Light it up.
Stomp on it.
Stomp all over it.
Have them stomp on it.
But yes.
Yeah.
That's what we're doing.
I mean I kind of get
Jordan's ahead of our time
He really is an innovator
Yeah
And I can't wait
I'm going to follow him on Instagram
The Walt Disney of
Bachelorette if you will
A real American hero
National Treasure
Jordan Kimball
I think that's his last name
Oh yeah
Kimball or Kimball
Depends on the region
Yeah
Depends on the region
Oh gosh
I just
I can't wait to see what his sponsors are
when he comes off the show.
And, oh, and he cooks, he cleans and is a self-proclaimed golden retriever.
I knew I liked him.
He doesn't love a golden retriever.
When he said he was a golden retriever, I'm like, that is why I love you.
You are a golden retriever.
Golden retrievers cook and clean.
That's your favorite dog.
It is, of all time.
Oh.
A lot of time.
And then they just went back to David obsessing over Jordan while Andrew Keegan and
Wills just sat on the sidelines laughing, sipping their cocktail.
Oh, everyone's cracking up.
I would have just sipped on my cocktail.
too.
Mm-hmm.
Or my La Croy water.
Oh, there you go.
Enter Ed.
But I would have been doing the same damn thing.
I just love Jordan's confidence, you know?
Yeah.
I think the joke's on us.
I think Jordan's playing us.
I think Jordan is there for good TV and he knows it and he knows he's not going to make it to the end.
And he doesn't.
It's a game.
He's going to ride it to the wheels fall off.
Yep.
And he's playing it.
And I'm there for it.
Giving us one-liners.
Yep.
And he's like the little villain, which is funny.
I always call him a lovable douche canoe.
A lovable.
A double douche canoe.
Yeah.
That's the perfect way to explain it.
I know. And I think, I think the joke's on us.
So Becca and Colton talk through everything.
Colton tells her he's here for her because Dad, that would be really weird if he was like, you know what?
I was here for Tia, but since you are the Bacheloret, I'm going to stick around, see what happens for my charity.
Colton got the rose and David, chicken, try and keep up blow.
David was just so happy.
He didn't even get the rose, but he was just so happy that Jordan didn't.
get the rose.
Obsessed.
Man crush.
Yeah.
It's very obvious.
It's hard to watch someone give another person that much power.
I'm like, why are you?
I'm like, hey, just relax.
It's a turn off.
No, and I'm sure she's a turn off.
Becca's like, okay.
I'm like, if I was Becca, I'd be more turned on to Jordan than chicken.
Yeah, it's going to make her like him more.
And I bet the producers are just like, come on, chicken, egg him on.
This is like firing them up.
And they're like, we support you.
But then that with Jordan, they're like, don't pay attention to him, man, whatever.
I'll play your little game producers.
Chris and Becca's one-on-one.
Becca's leather rocker outfit.
Loved it.
Loved it.
Lived for it.
Crop top, leather pants, choker.
Yeah.
It's very sexy.
And it was very appropriate for like writing some music.
I was really into it.
And I love that they got to write music together on Monday night when this was airing, Carly, who is on
my season of The Bachelor with me, reminded me that we had a group date together where we wrote
our own music with the help of the country duo Big and Rich.
Oh, yeah.
And do you want to hear what my lyrics were?
They're very deep.
Did he pass away, by the way?
Who?
Big.
No.
Oh.
No.
Did he?
No, I would have known.
No, he didn't.
Big and rich?
No.
No.
No.
Sorry.
I would have known.
I'm like, wait.
She's about to cry.
I'm so sorry.
No.
No, there are still live.
Sorry.
Wrong article that I read.
This is how part of my song went.
Red pedal fever.
Makes me touch my beaver.
The farm life.
It's life for me sipping sweet tea.
And mix it with the whiskey.
And mix it with the whiskey.
Oh.
Oh.
That was my song.
Wow.
Then I went into some really powerful lyrics and I sang with my whole heart,
but they didn't show that because they just like to show my stoop stuff.
But red pedal fever.
makes me touch my beaver did not think they would air that on TV and they did whatever
iconic uh uh i thought it was pretty clever i don't think uh oh chicken i mean that was a little
delayed but it was so delayed because i had
is that what you were doing over there so i'm like why aren't you listening to me
are you looking for a chicken sound oh my god i'm dying well now you have to have it teed up now
in case we need it it is teed up so here's a thing
I had to watch a couple ads first.
And then the conversation changed from chicken.
So anyway.
I'll let you in on a little editing secret.
We could have just told my producer to throw in a chicken noise there.
Oh, I didn't know.
We're on Howard Stern.
The sound effects.
2.0.
Yeah, I got you.
Damn.
Yeah.
Fancy.
Yeah.
It's okay.
I kind of like the like authentic, like, raw.
of just pulling it up on your phone and putting it up.
It's funny.
I like it.
I'm actually really glad you did it.
And now have it teed up for next time we talk about them.
What was I saying?
Oh, the singing, the lyrics.
Oh.
I know what I was going to say.
My lyrics and then I was going to say,
I don't think that Richard Mark's Grammy Award winning artist would agree.
Who, by the way, did you know who that was when they walked in?
I didn't.
I didn't know who Richard Marks was.
I didn't either.
Good old Dick Marks.
Which is sad because he's a Grammy Award winner and it's all.
obviously no but there's a lot well I'm sort of
there's a lot of categories at the Grammys
that's true you know yeah which one was he in it's like best
southwestern gospel you know there's like so many
categories to and from a movie from a movie yeah
an indie movie which I mean good for him
that's awesome I don't have a Grammy yeah yeah it's awesome
I don't have a Grammy under my belt that's cool I don't either
Richard Marks does um what was I going to say though oh yeah so my whole thing
with this date was I was like you know when producers
put you on a date when they know what your fears are so they're like well let's put her on that one
yeah um chris wrote a letter to his father to try and get out his feelings that his father left him
when i think he was sad broke my heart and he was like you know it's really hard for me to put
out my feelings on paper now and like try and tell them to someone because what if they don't feel
the same way which he wrote his father a letter yeah recently yeah yeah yeah and didn't get a response
his dad ghosted him yeah which is just i mean oh and he said that
I think I should have like eight tears.
God.
And it's like Father's Day weekends coming up.
That's heavy.
Oh,
that is heavy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it just,
I was so sad because I'm like,
oh, man.
And now he's having to be put in the situation where he has to be super vulnerable and
write out his feelings and save them to her.
And he's like,
what if she's like,
oh,
I don't feel the same way.
Like,
I don't know that.
Dad is that,
you know.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I'd be the same way.
Gosh.
Having to like be that vulnerable.
First of all,
on national television when you're not used to TV cameras is so weird.
And then if you have that fear.
and then writing down how you feel
and not have someone reciprocate it
especially being family.
It's heartbreaking.
Heartbreaking.
But he killed it.
He did really well.
Exactly.
That's what that.
He was very sweet.
And she probably like is obsessed with him because of it.
Exactly.
And I'm like,
I'm so glad he had that moment.
And I'm glad the producers chose that date for him
because I think it was probably like,
like healing for him and therapeutic.
Because he was like, you know what?
My dad didn't respond.
But Becca did.
And Richard Marks is going to write a song about it.
Yeah.
Maybe it's up for a Grammy.
There you go.
Full circle moments.
That's like Carly Pierce.
I had her on my podcast.
And she wrote that song,
every little thing about her ex.
Oh.
So powerful.
And she won an award for it this past week.
At the CMTs.
Yeah.
Oh, good for her.
And she started crying and she goes, last thing to my ex.
Thank you.
I was like, oh.
Yes.
Because I was like, I would have been like,
you.
but she said thank you and that was even more powerful yeah oh i loved it lived for that moment
but that's you know this was chris's moment and he was so great and you even said you're like
he is so cute yeah so handsome and he was really sweet it seems like a genuine like the guys that
are there and it's it doesn't feel like they're there for the cameras it doesn't feel like
he even said he was like you know this is really hard like this is all really fast and like being
super open like thank you what what a real thing to say i
really like David.
Nope,
that's chicken.
I really like Chris.
My phone's on locked.
Oh, missed opportunity.
But yeah.
I really like Chris.
We like Chris.
Chris for top four.
Chris is top four.
Yeah.
Speaking of Chris.
I feel like such an ass but saying this.
Chris Harrison had to deliver the news about David.
I'm not on the Wi-Fi.
I can't win tonight
Hair in my mouth, bloody nails
Can't even load a chicken video
Are you going to have to watch ads again first too?
Yeah, watching another ad
Really?
For Vagicil.
Okay, so go ahead.
So anyways, okay, the only reason I can laugh about this
is because obviously, oh, there it is.
Short-lived.
Yeah, I'm over it, I'm over it.
It's okay, we'll add it in.
Um, the only reason I can laugh is because he's fine and Becca talked to him on the phone and he was like, Becca, what's up?
Okay. Can we say though how Chris like teed it up?
Teat it up. He was like, look, one of your guys had to be sent to the hospital and he's in.
Brutely beaten. Intensive care.
Brutely broken nose.
Broken nose. And Becca goes, who did this? And he goes, he pauses like, he does this like, like awkwardly long pause and he looks down and he goes, well, he fell out of it.
bed and she was kind of like oh oh oh that's a hard fall it's unfortunate because i think he
did some serious damage and that's awful yeah messed up his face yeah we just moneymaker
thank god it wasn't the model oh thank god thank god it was the chicken i'm sure he has it insured
though yeah mug is so beautiful it's like jalo's butt insured yeah absolutely either either way
We're glad that David's okay.
Yeah.
David's, he's coming back.
Yeah, he's coming back with vengeance.
Yeah, I think he's going to have a little more confidence because he's going to look so edgy.
Yeah, with his black and.
Like, who hurt you?
And he can make some up.
Yeah, I did.
I hurt myself.
That's how crazy I am.
Don't mess with me.
I'll do this to you.
No, he's going to be sent home.
Yeah.
Along with the model.
Oh, I can.
I'm just going to be so sad the day that model is.
What are they going to do?
Hopefully then some relationships will be blossoming and will be invested in some love stories.
I think they're going to do a twist.
Like Becca's like they'll have something like a plot twist.
If they have to get rid of the model because he's so good.
And like, you know, adding some spice to be like Becca's first husband, you know, or something like we didn't know she had.
Russ will come back.
Oh, she had a husband.
No, ex-boyfriend.
Okay.
I still don't know what his name is.
Russ or Ross or Ross.
Okay.
Well, then he'll come back or who, I don't know.
Something good will have to happen.
Remember on friends when.
Ross is Rachel Green's ex
But she dates this new guy named Russ
And he's exactly like Ross
And he's like, hi
That's back of sex
Um
Then there's the football date where
I didn't like how this episode ended
I was like there's a football date
Clay breaks his wrist and goes home
And no row ceremony
I'm like oh and that's
That's your grape therapy session goodbye
Yeah
That's my short
Wait the guy that broke his wrist
Is he the one that also is he went home for good?
Yeah, Clay, he's an NFL player
He's got a little broken wrist and a big old broken heart
But a very big heart
He does
Yeah, I liked him
Yeah, he seemed very sweet
He seemed really sweet and he left like
You know, a lot of guys wouldn't just leave
But he's like, I gotta support my family
Like my wrist is my job
There's Jordan who's like my face is my job
Yeah, Clay's wrist is his job
You know?
He needs to
He's not a good joke, but I tried
He needs to ice that wrist
He needs to ice it up.
And take care of his family.
Yeah.
It was,
he has to get.
Do you know what team he plays on?
Do you think I know NFL?
He plays for the Chicago boomerings.
The Chicago Bulls.
He plays for the Wisconsin Chequers.
Killing it.
I have no idea.
I don't know either.
I'm curious what team he plays for and where he's going.
Yeah.
Is he done now?
Like you can't play because he broke his wrist.
Well, he has to get serious surgery on it.
And it's his thrown wrist, you know?
Oh, man.
That sucks.
It's serious.
I mean, anyways, I have a small feeling he might be back this season.
But I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
I thought they were kind of cute together.
He didn't even have like a one-on-one with Eric.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's not coming back.
He ain't coming back.
No, he ain't coming back.
He gone.
He gone.
And guys,
all we have for you because
I didn't like the way that episode ended.
No, I wanted a row ceremony.
It wasn't even a cliffhanger.
Like it wasn't like,
and then you're going to find something out next week.
It's like, oh, what?
That was the end?
Or maybe I just got a,
I get a version of the show earlier
before it airs.
Oh, damn.
Well, I wish I had that.
It's the least they could do.
The least they could do.
But yeah, real quick,
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So that's all we got for you today for grape therapy.
I hope everybody is a super gangster Thursday.
Yeah.
You're almost at the weekend.
Almost time.
Thursday's the new Friday is what I heard.
It really is.
Word on the street.
Word on the street.
Thursday's the new Friday.
Oh, and this week we'll see you on Tuesday for Off the Vine.
It's my special birthday episode.
Oh, yeah.
When's your birthday?
The 30th?
June 30th.
Yeah.
We're both cancer babies.
No, I'm Gem and I with a little hint of cancer.
I feel like you're so cancer though.
Why?
What does that mean?
Emotional.
Oh.
I am too.
I'm sensitive.
Well, I'm right on the cusp.
Okay.
So I'm like, I'm like super independent, but like super needy.
And I'm like really funny, but I'm also like really soft.
Yeah.
Like I'm really like.
Yeah.
I am a bit of both.
I see it.
I get it.
Yeah.
We have to do something very special for your birthday.
Okay.
I'm very excited.
Okay.
I have to plan something.
Okay.
Well, we have to do it tomorrow.
Oh, God, I know.
So you better plan quick.
Okay.
Well, we're going to have a, we're also.
going to podcast tomorrow but that won't air until next tuesday got it that's the birthday episode
my birthday episode will be my live podcast with brey where i announce my due date oh that's right
for me something nobody can know until you listen to off the vine on tuesday i'm so excited for your
baby my baby line that i'm bringing out yes everyone's like we know you're not pregnant you're drunk
right sure fair um but i can't wait to podcast with you um for off the vine and interview you
and do like real questions yeah i'm excited because this you've just been like my little like
sidekick for the last couple podcasts where we're gonna really get to the bottom of low oh i like okay
i'm an open book oh for the most part i don't believe you we're gonna find out i'm just gonna feed you
a few glasses of savin jean blanc and i'm very excited because we're doing it um i said that so
abruptly i know i got excited we're uh going to my home yeah country of urbine of urbine i'm not from
irvine but i am from orange county california all my orange county peeps out there oh see oh how
much did you love the show the oc i didn't actually oh oh was it like that's not what it is no
what i mean i loved the oce did you oh marissa
Was that Mishka Barton?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Wasn't that her name?
Yeah.
And I loved the Ryan.
Am I was butchering their names right now?
Summer.
I know Summer.
And Adam.
Oh, Adam.
I loved like gossip girl.
XOXO.
Yeah, I was into that.
Never watched it once.
Oh, damn.
I've never seen sex in the city.
What else?
I've never seen a handmaid's tail.
You're missing out.
But I could tell you all about Monday's episode of the best.
That's the Red, watched it twice.
Or the O.C.
Back.
Yeah, or the O.C.
They also had the Real Laguna Beach and the O.C., which was the TV show, the reality show.
The Hills.
That was after, but first it was Laguna Beach.
Lauren Conrad.
That's my ride.
Gotta go.
Can't do you.
Oh, do you're not sure?
But I am, nope, didn't watch it.
But I'm really excited to be in Orange County.
Oh, yeah.
That's what you're doing.
Very full circle moment.
Yeah, you're going to have to give me a little tour, like, show me where you go up at school.
No, I can.
I cannot wait to show Caitlin all the hot spots in Orange County.
Well, you better get there in time.
Yeah.
I'm leaving bright and early in the morning.
So I'll see you there or I will see you at another time.
Your session is now ending.
Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy.
Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday.
And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the podcast1 app, and subscribe.
on Apple Podcasts.
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