Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: The Lo down

Episode Date: June 14, 2018

Kaitlyn is joined by friend and stylist Lo to recap the Bachelorette, struggle with sound effects, and endings that leave you wanting more See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and... California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.
Starting point is 00:00:25 And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy. And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.
Starting point is 00:00:58 So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. We're on with OTV. Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grace Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Welcome to Grave Therapy. We're on. Oh. We're on. But we were just talking. Lowe was just filled in of my misophonia that I've talked about on many podcasts, which just kind of shows what kind of listener you are, Lowe. Well, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:01:42 I tuned that part out because I thought it was an alternative fact. I thought you were just kidding. But I realized it is. Misophonia is no joke. Misophonia. It's no joke. Because you were talking about that video with that woman. The woman that eats pickles.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Why does she do this? I love her. I think it's hilarious. And a lot of people, a lot of YouTubers have done something similar. What's it called? There's a specific name for it. Chewing? No, no.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Like crunching, smacking. No, no. Recording yourself where it's only that low sound. It's called like I as, I don't know. Oh, I don't know. Anyway, I actually, it's kind of soothing. You are a weird, weird guy. I love the sound of crunching and.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Do you really? I wonder if there's a name for that, that you enjoy that sound. Wait, have I even introduced you yet? Oh, no, sorry. Everybody, low is my co-host today. You may remember him from such podcasts as me, Jess, Graff, and Cody. Who else? Also.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Oh, Tyler, Henry, the Medium. Yep. You remember that. I'm back, everyone. He back for a good old fashion Thursday. Grape therapy. Yay. Why did I just do a southern accent?
Starting point is 00:02:56 A little southern. fire pay what's up what's it how's your thursday going you know what it's i've had better i'll put it well good thing you're on grape therapy because i need it you know your session is now starting and um we're here to make you feel better about whatever happened in your day so please is this a safe place this is the place with the tree and the trust in the nest and uh we're here for you perfect tell us your problems so here's the thing oh god no okay i'm not trying to be but it was a pretty traumatic experience you're not being dramatic i saw the pictures okay so i ordered a sandwich and if you're eating right now you might want to press pause yeah just
Starting point is 00:03:40 on this drop your sandy go on low so uh i was with a friend and we ordered uh sandwich and a little pasta from the local corner bakery corner bakery is well known oh very it's like a panera owned by the same people i don't actually i don't think it's I looked it up. It's not owned by the same person. Corner Bakery owns, the owner has another restaurant. I think it's called Ilfer Nio. It's an Italian spot.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Is it a chain? This bakery? Yeah, Corner Bakery. It's on every corner. Oh, that makes sense. Is it just in L.A.? Actually, no, because their headquarters is in Dallas. I know they have several locations.
Starting point is 00:04:17 I grew up eating. I've been going to Corner Bakery for well over 15 years. Which means you were due for a bad experience. Yep. And today was that day. It was a double whammy. so order this meal we get the uh the sandwich in this delicious little pasta dish yeah and i i decided to go in and take a bite of my pinini yeah as you would as you would yeah and uh i bit into well i bit and i knew right away that there was a hair in it because i could what texture was the hair was it right off the head or was it like a little wiry definitely there was a little bit of root oh and as i pulled out As I pulled out the sandwich, you know, pulled the sandwich away from my mouth, the hair went with it.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Like, it was stuck in the sandwich. The other part was in my mouth. Like, have you ever had a hair in your butt crack and you pull it out and you're like, oh, no, and it keeps going? No. Oh, yeah. Just kidding me either. I've had that happen with my dog, like a dingleberry. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:20 I've never experienced that. Oh, yeah, me either. Go on. So I do that. And I'm like, oh, that's disgusting. You know, but it happens, hair happens in food. It's inevitable in the industry. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:32 But you put, you were done with the sandwich. I was like, I'm done. See, I would have just pulled the hair and then I would have been like, you know what I'm real hungry. I would have. Bold. Yeah. Yeah. No, I was done with that.
Starting point is 00:05:42 So I tossed a sandwich and then my friends like, well, you can have some pasta. We'll share the pasta. I said, okay, let's do that. So I put some on my plate. I'm eating it. I take a bite and there's, no, it's a pasta dish. There's, it's like a little, I don't even know the name. the noodle doesn't really matter but it doesn't it's all it's a soft noodle it's not a
Starting point is 00:06:00 penny but it's also not like a spaghetti it's more of a rigatoni it's more of a rigatoni so i it's called pesto cavatopi is the dish then i think it's a cavatopi yeah it's delicious so we ordered that um i had a bite of it i take my first bite find something very crunchy up in there i bit into it it actually scraped the top of my mouth i'm actually getting a little bit sick so i was like oh so i pull or i spit out the food from my mouth and I don't see anything there because it's all covered in sauce it's all been chewed up and then I did a little dissecting if you will and I discovered a bloody nail and okay I'll let everybody gag for a second not just a bloody
Starting point is 00:06:44 nail like a full blown fake nail like like the full nail it was the entire nail bed yeah the entire nail bed full like very very fresh manicured too because it was full sparkle Yeah, it was silver, sparkled. Yeah, very sparkly. And the back was fully bloody. Yeah. And, uh, and yeah. So I saw the photo.
Starting point is 00:07:06 I'm, I'm like, I wish you never showed me that, but I'm glad you did because I don't think I would have really known. I know. The level of blood. Right. So I called corner. I was like, oh, this is just. I did get, oh, right away, gagging. I'm so disgusted.
Starting point is 00:07:20 And, uh, so I called corner bakery. And I was like, hey, this is what happened. They said, uh, we. are very doubtful that happened on our watch because all of our people in the kitchen wear gloves. I said, well, I have a buddy. She probably put on a glove and it snapped her nail off and then ended up in your rigatoni. Yeah. And in my mouth.
Starting point is 00:07:40 And in your mouth. Yeah. So they were like, no. And, you know, we have them wear hairnets as well. So, you know, can you please send us pictures? I hate what people are defensive like that. I'm like, I'm not made. Like, I don't want to call it.
Starting point is 00:07:51 I don't want to call Corner Bakery corporate on a Saturday or whatever on a Wednesday. Yeah. Um, anyway. So they basically said, we'll send us pictures and we will try to get you a reimbursement. Sorry that happened. We'll get you a reimbursement. That's it. Thank you. Here's your $12 back, sir. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Not even a complimentary cookie. Oh. I know. My gosh. At corner bakery. Yeah. At corner bakery. We see you. Yeah. And we're never going to see you again. I actually won't be going back because that's disgusting. No. And I, uh, I won't be going ever. Never have. Never will. You know. I don't think they're in Canada. No. There's no corner bakeries in Canada. There's Tim Hortons. Oh, good old Tim Snortons.
Starting point is 00:08:34 I love those little Tim Bits. Those little donut. They're so good. Love Tim Bits. Anyway. I might actually be converting. I think I'm a big Dunkin' Donuts guy. Duncan Donuts.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Yeah. You know what? So I was at Dallas Airport. Yeah. Got myself a delicious glaze. Yeah. What are the little donuts called? Donut holes?
Starting point is 00:08:54 Donut holes. That's such an American. thing by the way they're well you have 10 bits oh what's the blueberry one um blueberry glaze yeah oh it's amazing everything yeah i don't even mind if it's a little bit old up in that airport i'll still eat it me too yeah that's great me too i actually like their sandwiches breakfast sandwiches oh i was you're just gonna say that i love an everything bagel sandwich yeah and uh all about it and a nice little coffee treat to go along with it hazelnut hazelnuts the best uh okay so i thought we would do a little bachelorette recap after we got over your disgusting story we just need
Starting point is 00:09:31 to forget about it move on to better things on to bigger better things jordan oh my god my favorite the best is when he tried to throw out the chirp like like he's just making scrambled eggs every day it's like oh it sounds terrible i'm like that sounds really nice his one-liners they're everything yeah his make-believe words i love it yeah i'm like sometimes i question my i'm like am i the dummy and then i'll google the word i'm like no that's definitely not a word my professionality was that when he said yeah wait that's when i'm googling that's when i'm pretty sure he made up what was it professionality pro professionality i think he said something along the lines up like he lives his life with
Starting point is 00:10:11 professionality look at i i googled professionality i said is professionality a word uh this picture comes right up it says professionality oh it is word Jokes on us Oh, sorry Jordan Jokes on us We're the dummies Yeah, really He does have a high IQ
Starting point is 00:10:30 I'll give him that I will give Oh Oh Becca just text me Huh What are the chances We're talking about you right now Okay so I have zero clue
Starting point is 00:10:41 What's going on still With the Colton Tia Becca situation Because we have got zero explanation About the Colton Tia thing Like they're like Oh I'd hung out with Tia for a weekend And then it's like Well does she still have feelings for you
Starting point is 00:10:54 Did you sleep with her? Did you, no, he did. She said on the episode, they just kissed. Got it. I was fast-forwarding through that part with you. And he also apparently is a virgin. Don't believe it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:04 I mean, good for him if he is. Right. It's a beautiful thing. Yeah. All the power to you. I think that's what my nickname was on the show, too, the virgin. Uh, uh. The virgin steeler.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Yeah. Yeah. Thief. The virgin thief. But I just feel like. Yeah, sip that wine. Sip in their cocktails. My other favorite thing to drink, LaCroix.
Starting point is 00:11:31 You can enjoy LaCroix, sparkling water, a calorie sweetener and sodium innocent beverage with nothing artificial. Make the switch to LaCroix sparkling water a healthier alternative for you and your lifestyle. It's zero calorie, zero sweetener, zero sodium, it equals innocent. All natural, environmentally friendly, and flavored with fruit essences. There are 14 LeCroy flavors, Kew lime, tangerine, mango, Capricot, Passion Fruit are the newest. There's peach pear, coconut, lime, lemon, berry, cran raspberry, orange and grapefruit, and pure, unflavored. Round out the lineup. The LeCroy family also includes
Starting point is 00:12:07 six LeCroix-Courte flavors. There's pineapple, strawberry, appleberry, cherry lime, kiwi watermelon, blackberry cucumber, cantaloupe pink grapefruit. Honestly, these, I take up my fridge. I'm obsessed. Lecroy sparkling water and Lecroy Curate Sparkling Water is a gluten, free vegan and non-GMO beverage. LaCroy Sparkling Water and LaCroix-Courte Sparkling Water are both available nationwide. So for more information, join the LaCroix community on social at at LaCroix Water. Or check us out at www.com for a full list of retailers, visit www.w.w.com. I just feel like we don't have answers.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I'm like, Tia, do you still have feelings for him? How did he not? How was it just like, oh, well, I'm going to go on the show now. And then was she maybe filming Paradise? so she didn't have her phone, so she didn't know. Could be. But I don't know because she said it was airing. It was before her season aired.
Starting point is 00:13:01 So no. It wouldn't. I don't know. I don't get the timeline. I'm confused. Tia, please text me. I have questions.
Starting point is 00:13:09 And then I need to completely throw you under the bus and talk about it on my podcast. But anyways, I just don't understand. I want to know if she sells feelings for him because obviously it didn't, it wasn't like, yeah, see, maybe she went to paradise and found somebody else. And maybe that's why they're not making a big deal of it. Isn't she from? She's from Wiener, Arkansas.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Okay. Yeah, it's called Wiener. So she's up in the Wiener, Arkansas, and he's in Boston or so it would have been long distance anyway. He's all up in Boston not using his wiener. Oh, there you go. Burj of jokes. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:13:41 I'm the worst. But yeah, so I don't know. I don't understand. But anyways, you disagreed with me on this. Did you? I said, I feel like Colton might be a little bit calculated. Yeah, I don't think so. I love that we've got a little banter going here.
Starting point is 00:13:56 I love that we have a disagreement. Definitely. That makes for a great podcast. Yeah, a divide if you will. I don't think so because I just look at it like he's feeling it out. And I hope you're right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:05 And I don't know. I'm not saying he is calculated. I'm saying there's a chance because of the words he uses like when he's like, you know, Tia is here and I am grateful that she is here. Yeah. I think that he, once you have that camera up in his face, he's the most awkward person.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Like you wouldn't want him to give a toast. No. You wouldn't want him to do any public speaking. Which he's on the wrong. show because before you do anything on the show they make you go around the room and do toasts and everybody has to do one on every
Starting point is 00:14:32 date whether it's a one-on-one a two-on-one a group date a three-on-one everybody in the room like an ice-breaking exercise nope it's just so that they have choices when they do the editing and airing that they pick people's toast so he you know I don't think he should give a toast and he probably had to give a few and I'm really curious as to what those would look like
Starting point is 00:14:50 yeah terrible I guarantee it goes a little something like this right reasons here for the journey and i'm very grateful for the experience very grateful follow your heart yeah follow your heart and your dreams i am a virgin i am virgin i shouldn't make fun of that i actually think it's great no yeah i do if if it is true well i'm watching handmade stale so oh what does that mean i don't know i don't know what that has do with being a virgin that's like my friend cleo her boyfriend was with us in napa and he's like my parents need to tell everybody that they're from um oh my gosh i'm such a can't think of states maybe it starts with a w wisconsin yes yes thank you they'll be like oh do you want to try this
Starting point is 00:15:41 cheese i don't know i'm from wisconsin you know us wisconsiners yeah and everything he does he goes well you know we're from wisconsin so and so now i just feel that way with what you just Yeah, completely random, just throwing it in there. I watch Handmaid's Tale on Hulu. I watch Hammond's tail, so. So he's a virgin. So he's definitely a virgin, and we don't judge. Anyways, after the spot day, all the guys sitting around at the cocktail party with their nails done was the best.
Starting point is 00:16:07 I loved that. Yeah, it was amazing. Some of the guys, you can tell we're uncomfortable with it. Be comfortable getting your nails done. I got mine done today. You did, yes. Nice thick and a shine. You always have a, wow.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Whoa. Look at those non-existent cuticles. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. They chopped them all off. Well, here's the thing. Well, I, people look at my hands all the time based on my profession. Right.
Starting point is 00:16:27 So I just try and keep them beautiful because I get very self-conscious. Like I'm putting jewelry on people. I'm a stylist, everyone, if you're wondering, like, what is talking about? I tag you in everything that I wear always. You dress me for everything I do, The Bachelorette. If I do any appearance on TV ever, Steve Harvey. I have so much fun doing it, though. I love it.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Every single thing I do, I'm like, no, I need you. You gave me my red carpet moment. for CMAs, but we're going to talk about that on off the vine. Got it. We're doing two podcasts this week. Everybody, that's how much I love Lowe. Oh, I'm honored and so excited. Oh, are you freaking Colton?
Starting point is 00:17:05 I'm super grateful for the experience. I'm super grateful. Are you just loving the journey and here for the right reasons? Really, though. I think that's why I like Colton. I kind of see myself in Colton. Oh. Minest the, well, no, I could.
Starting point is 00:17:18 You're like, wait a second. No, I take it all back. I immediately regret it. The town bike. Everyone's at a ride. Oh, the down bike. Anyway, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Oh, Becca forgot Jason's name. Did she? Yeah, I fast forwarded through that part with you. I was trying to give you the clip notes. Not memorable. She forgot his name and I was like, that's okay. I too forget Jason's name because I call him Andrew Keegan. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Vampire Andrew Keegan. Yep. Which ain't a bad thing. For anyone who is wondering who Andrew Keegan is. Don't Google him now. No. Google old Andrew Keegan. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Google 2000. Andrew Geegan. Yeah. I had his picture up in my locker at school and on my walls at home. What movie was he in? Like his huge movie. Everyone loved him for him. Ten things I hate about you.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Uh-huh. Opposite Heath Ledger. Yes. R-I-P. But I do actually feel like he was in, um... He wasn't a lot of stuff in the 90s and 2000s. That wasn't his big moment. Not 10 Things I Hate About You wasn't his...
Starting point is 00:18:21 Probably his biggest moment in his career. The Bachelorette this year. He's back. He's back in a big way. This time going after Beck's heart. Andrew Kagan. Okay, wait. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Ten things I hate about you. Oh, what? Maybe that was his big thing. Yeah, that's it. Interesting. Well, why? He was just like on those teen bop magazines all the time. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:44 As like a heartthrob. You see Canadian? Was he a big deal in Canada? Well, yeah. He was in my locker. The microphone makes a buzzing noise Every time I bring my phone up to it High quality over here in the hotel room
Starting point is 00:18:55 Anyways, Kigs That's what I'm going to call Jason from now on So Kigs is the one that Fell off his bed No We'll get into him later That mess Keeks we liked remember we're like
Starting point is 00:19:10 Oh he's kind of smooth And he liked him and he had good vibes And he was just laughing on the sidelines He kind of feels like a guy He works at Chase Bank I don't know what he does in his real life But he feels like very He works at Chase Bank
Starting point is 00:19:19 Oh no I don't know I was like, nailed it. He just has a normal guy. I like him. He seems nice. Yeah, he seems like just like Andrew Kagan. I was going to come up with something different. I'm like, he just seems like Andrew Kagan.
Starting point is 00:19:32 David is the guy who fell off the bed. Chicken, David. Why are you so obsessed with Jordan? He's so obsessed with him. Yeah. Like his whole, like everything that he wants from the show is for Jordan to fail. and he uses his time with Becca to talk about Jordan. So crazy twist, Jordan and chicken, David, David, I think they dated.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Yeah, we're going to find that out later in the episode, plot twist. Pride month. Yeah. They're gay. No, I'm kidding. I don't know if they're gay. But anyway, I do have to say that. Him falling off the bed is a traumatic experience.
Starting point is 00:20:14 As a deep sleeper myself, I would have done the same thing. Luckily I had the bottom bunk in the mansion Otherwise you know I mean it's a mansion I would expect that they all have their own comfortable beds They want to make you uncomfortable Really? Yeah you don't have you have bunk beds That you share like numerous bunk beds in a room
Starting point is 00:20:32 So two on one side two on there So four in a room is that how I want to know Give me some okay I want to know the scoop So you walk inside the front door and there's a staircase to your left You go out that staircase and there's a like huge walking closet Where you keep all your suitcases then there's a huge master bathroom where the toilet room is very small and how many bathrooms how many bathrooms um total only four wow yeah four and then there's three bedrooms upstairs and a laundry
Starting point is 00:21:02 room three bedrooms one really big one that has five sets of bunk beds sounds like 10 beds yeah and then the other room only has a few others anyways is there a way for you to get your like the favorite it gets their own room or it's only two people in there like you guys a little fighting over the rooms or anything they you walk in and you have a name on where what bed you have like you don't even get to pick good thread count on the sheets I don't even remember toilet trees provided I honestly had the best sleeps in that mansion I don't know why it was uncomfortable and there's like stage lighting in there you like that prison yeah I was into it it was like I knew I couldn't be anywhere else like I was like I've nowhere to be this is like where I'm supposed to be right now
Starting point is 00:21:43 It's really sad. Yeah. I can't go anywhere. Yeah. I'm stuck here. I'm trapped here. I have no phone to look at. Oh, my.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Oh, wow. Yeah, you would not last. That's the trippy part is no phones. Oh, that's tough for me. I actually saw a guy at the beginning of this. You can't even text like anyone from your family.
Starting point is 00:22:01 No. Oh, how long? How long? Well, it depends how long you last. Oh, but 11 weeks max? You made it to the final round. I don't keep doing that. So that was 11 weeks for you?
Starting point is 00:22:12 It was nine weeks for me on the bachelor. and then 11 weeks as The Bachelorette. No contact with your friends or family. No one. That's a lot. It's messed up. Especially now in the day of Instagram and. Yeah, it was kind of nice though.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Not for you because you love Instagram. I do so much. But I'm like an Insta hater. I like loved not having it. True. Yeah, I loved it. I'm just going to interrupt this for a quick mid-show break to talk about ThreadUp. It's one of the largest online resale stores where you can find all your
Starting point is 00:22:43 favorite brands for up to 90% off the estimated retail price. No joke, I have gotten so many cute dresses like free people. There's Lulu Lemon, there's Gap, North Face, and more. Plus, if you go to threadup.com slash vine today, you will get an extra 25% off your first order. Threadup has a huge selection and they make it super easy to shop. Trust me, I've done it. Love online shopping. You can save your sizes and your favorite brands and search for exactly what you want and every item on their site goes through a 12-point inspection process so that you know what you're getting is high-quality condition. Many items even have the tags still on, but the best part is the prices are unbelievable. For example, you can get a J-Crew top for $10, an anthropology
Starting point is 00:23:28 skirt for $12, and thread-up selection is always changing and they add over 1,000 items every hour. So we're constantly on their site seeing what's new. If you want to get the brands that you love for a deal, you need to check out ThreadUp. They offer fast and free shipping on qualifying orders and easy returns. Right now, they are giving you an extra 25% off your first order when you go to threadup.com slash Vine. That's T-H-R-E-D-U-P dot com slash Vine for an extra 25% off the already super low price. Threadup.com slash Vine.
Starting point is 00:24:02 We'll be right back with more off the Vine, Great Therapy. Guys, please help me keep the podcast free to download with minimal. ads responses if you do this survey will help align the appropriate advertisers to my audience the survey is short and completely anonymous it takes no more than five minutes there are two easy ways to do the survey you can go to podcast one dot com slash my survey or go to podcast one dot com and just click the survey banner if you have filled out a survey in the past i thank you so much but i still need you to do it again i know i'm asking a lot you do all of us at off the vine and podcast want a huge favor by filling this out so thank you for supporting my program and for taking the time to complete the survey.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. I find it insulting that David needs to say things like, you know, I think Becca needs somebody different than, you don't know Becca. And if you... You don't know her story. You don't know what she's been through. You don't know. And like, you should trust that she will see through Jordan and knows that he's just there
Starting point is 00:25:02 for good ratings right now because where would this show be right now without him? True. he's very entertaining it wouldn't be the chicken show it's the jordan show it is sorry the male model sorry yeah sorry sorry about that okay so when she came out so uh jason had run and told her like oh you know no not jason god i'd make david they all look the same to me chicken had ran up to her yeah and said you know he has four thousand matches on tinder yeah and if tinder doesn't sponsor jordan after the show i he needs what worlds do we really live in yeah with a hundred percent one for one success rate
Starting point is 00:25:39 he's killing it killing it why is he even on the bachelorette if he's getting one for one like if his success rate is that good 4,000 people are very interested in him how would he even admit that out loud I love that she high-fived him
Starting point is 00:25:54 I would have done the exact same thing I would have been like nice work bro you're not staying here long so let's just like bro it out hilarious my favorite line was the Jordanism this week was that his what is that his feet are resting on his porch which is his turn his like way of saying like he's all up in his grill but what did he say before that he said i should be paying rent for living in david's head which is
Starting point is 00:26:19 great line but then he said yeah my feet are resting on his porch and i was like i don't know what that means but i'm definitely recycling it like i'm definitely reusing that yeah a hundred There is a girl, there is a woman who just is such a hater to meet and Sean on Twitter. Oh my gosh, she says awful things all the time. She's such a troll. And every day I'm like, oh my gosh, she just thinks about us all day long. Like we have so much power. We just live in her head.
Starting point is 00:26:45 And now I'm like, we are resting our feet on her porch. Yeah. I don't know what that means. Dancing on that porch. Yeah. We are dancing all up in the porch on the porch. Light it up. Stomp on it.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Stomp all over it. Have them stomp on it. But yes. Yeah. That's what we're doing. I mean I kind of get Jordan's ahead of our time He really is an innovator
Starting point is 00:27:06 Yeah And I can't wait I'm going to follow him on Instagram The Walt Disney of Bachelorette if you will A real American hero National Treasure Jordan Kimball
Starting point is 00:27:19 I think that's his last name Oh yeah Kimball or Kimball Depends on the region Yeah Depends on the region Oh gosh I just
Starting point is 00:27:29 I can't wait to see what his sponsors are when he comes off the show. And, oh, and he cooks, he cleans and is a self-proclaimed golden retriever. I knew I liked him. He doesn't love a golden retriever. When he said he was a golden retriever, I'm like, that is why I love you. You are a golden retriever. Golden retrievers cook and clean.
Starting point is 00:27:45 That's your favorite dog. It is, of all time. Oh. A lot of time. And then they just went back to David obsessing over Jordan while Andrew Keegan and Wills just sat on the sidelines laughing, sipping their cocktail. Oh, everyone's cracking up. I would have just sipped on my cocktail.
Starting point is 00:28:00 too. Mm-hmm. Or my La Croy water. Oh, there you go. Enter Ed. But I would have been doing the same damn thing. I just love Jordan's confidence, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:11 I think the joke's on us. I think Jordan's playing us. I think Jordan is there for good TV and he knows it and he knows he's not going to make it to the end. And he doesn't. It's a game. He's going to ride it to the wheels fall off. Yep. And he's playing it.
Starting point is 00:28:22 And I'm there for it. Giving us one-liners. Yep. And he's like the little villain, which is funny. I always call him a lovable douche canoe. A lovable. A double douche canoe. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:32 That's the perfect way to explain it. I know. And I think, I think the joke's on us. So Becca and Colton talk through everything. Colton tells her he's here for her because Dad, that would be really weird if he was like, you know what? I was here for Tia, but since you are the Bacheloret, I'm going to stick around, see what happens for my charity. Colton got the rose and David, chicken, try and keep up blow. David was just so happy. He didn't even get the rose, but he was just so happy that Jordan didn't.
Starting point is 00:29:00 get the rose. Obsessed. Man crush. Yeah. It's very obvious. It's hard to watch someone give another person that much power. I'm like, why are you? I'm like, hey, just relax.
Starting point is 00:29:12 It's a turn off. No, and I'm sure she's a turn off. Becca's like, okay. I'm like, if I was Becca, I'd be more turned on to Jordan than chicken. Yeah, it's going to make her like him more. And I bet the producers are just like, come on, chicken, egg him on. This is like firing them up. And they're like, we support you.
Starting point is 00:29:30 But then that with Jordan, they're like, don't pay attention to him, man, whatever. I'll play your little game producers. Chris and Becca's one-on-one. Becca's leather rocker outfit. Loved it. Loved it. Lived for it. Crop top, leather pants, choker.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Yeah. It's very sexy. And it was very appropriate for like writing some music. I was really into it. And I love that they got to write music together on Monday night when this was airing, Carly, who is on my season of The Bachelor with me, reminded me that we had a group date together where we wrote our own music with the help of the country duo Big and Rich. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:09 And do you want to hear what my lyrics were? They're very deep. Did he pass away, by the way? Who? Big. No. Oh. No.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Did he? No, I would have known. No, he didn't. Big and rich? No. No. No. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:30:27 I would have known. I'm like, wait. She's about to cry. I'm so sorry. No. No, there are still live. Sorry. Wrong article that I read.
Starting point is 00:30:36 This is how part of my song went. Red pedal fever. Makes me touch my beaver. The farm life. It's life for me sipping sweet tea. And mix it with the whiskey. And mix it with the whiskey. Oh.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Oh. That was my song. Wow. Then I went into some really powerful lyrics and I sang with my whole heart, but they didn't show that because they just like to show my stoop stuff. But red pedal fever. makes me touch my beaver did not think they would air that on TV and they did whatever iconic uh uh i thought it was pretty clever i don't think uh oh chicken i mean that was a little
Starting point is 00:31:14 delayed but it was so delayed because i had is that what you were doing over there so i'm like why aren't you listening to me are you looking for a chicken sound oh my god i'm dying well now you have to have it teed up now in case we need it it is teed up so here's a thing I had to watch a couple ads first. And then the conversation changed from chicken. So anyway. I'll let you in on a little editing secret.
Starting point is 00:31:40 We could have just told my producer to throw in a chicken noise there. Oh, I didn't know. We're on Howard Stern. The sound effects. 2.0. Yeah, I got you. Damn. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Fancy. Yeah. It's okay. I kind of like the like authentic, like, raw. of just pulling it up on your phone and putting it up. It's funny. I like it. I'm actually really glad you did it.
Starting point is 00:32:05 And now have it teed up for next time we talk about them. What was I saying? Oh, the singing, the lyrics. Oh. I know what I was going to say. My lyrics and then I was going to say, I don't think that Richard Mark's Grammy Award winning artist would agree. Who, by the way, did you know who that was when they walked in?
Starting point is 00:32:24 I didn't. I didn't know who Richard Marks was. I didn't either. Good old Dick Marks. Which is sad because he's a Grammy Award winner and it's all. obviously no but there's a lot well I'm sort of there's a lot of categories at the Grammys that's true you know yeah which one was he in it's like best
Starting point is 00:32:38 southwestern gospel you know there's like so many categories to and from a movie from a movie yeah an indie movie which I mean good for him that's awesome I don't have a Grammy yeah yeah it's awesome I don't have a Grammy under my belt that's cool I don't either Richard Marks does um what was I going to say though oh yeah so my whole thing with this date was I was like you know when producers put you on a date when they know what your fears are so they're like well let's put her on that one
Starting point is 00:33:04 yeah um chris wrote a letter to his father to try and get out his feelings that his father left him when i think he was sad broke my heart and he was like you know it's really hard for me to put out my feelings on paper now and like try and tell them to someone because what if they don't feel the same way which he wrote his father a letter yeah recently yeah yeah yeah and didn't get a response his dad ghosted him yeah which is just i mean oh and he said that I think I should have like eight tears. God. And it's like Father's Day weekends coming up.
Starting point is 00:33:34 That's heavy. Oh, that is heavy. Yeah. Yeah. And it just, I was so sad because I'm like, oh, man.
Starting point is 00:33:38 And now he's having to be put in the situation where he has to be super vulnerable and write out his feelings and save them to her. And he's like, what if she's like, oh, I don't feel the same way. Like, I don't know that.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Dad is that, you know. Yeah. Exactly. I'd be the same way. Gosh. Having to like be that vulnerable. First of all,
Starting point is 00:33:54 on national television when you're not used to TV cameras is so weird. And then if you have that fear. and then writing down how you feel and not have someone reciprocate it especially being family. It's heartbreaking. Heartbreaking. But he killed it.
Starting point is 00:34:09 He did really well. Exactly. That's what that. He was very sweet. And she probably like is obsessed with him because of it. Exactly. And I'm like, I'm so glad he had that moment.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And I'm glad the producers chose that date for him because I think it was probably like, like healing for him and therapeutic. Because he was like, you know what? My dad didn't respond. But Becca did. And Richard Marks is going to write a song about it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Maybe it's up for a Grammy. There you go. Full circle moments. That's like Carly Pierce. I had her on my podcast. And she wrote that song, every little thing about her ex. Oh.
Starting point is 00:34:44 So powerful. And she won an award for it this past week. At the CMTs. Yeah. Oh, good for her. And she started crying and she goes, last thing to my ex. Thank you. I was like, oh.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Yes. Because I was like, I would have been like, you. but she said thank you and that was even more powerful yeah oh i loved it lived for that moment but that's you know this was chris's moment and he was so great and you even said you're like he is so cute yeah so handsome and he was really sweet it seems like a genuine like the guys that are there and it's it doesn't feel like they're there for the cameras it doesn't feel like he even said he was like you know this is really hard like this is all really fast and like being
Starting point is 00:35:24 super open like thank you what what a real thing to say i really like David. Nope, that's chicken. I really like Chris. My phone's on locked. Oh, missed opportunity. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I really like Chris. We like Chris. Chris for top four. Chris is top four. Yeah. Speaking of Chris. I feel like such an ass but saying this. Chris Harrison had to deliver the news about David.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I'm not on the Wi-Fi. I can't win tonight Hair in my mouth, bloody nails Can't even load a chicken video Are you going to have to watch ads again first too? Yeah, watching another ad Really? For Vagicil.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Okay, so go ahead. So anyways, okay, the only reason I can laugh about this is because obviously, oh, there it is. Short-lived. Yeah, I'm over it, I'm over it. It's okay, we'll add it in. Um, the only reason I can laugh is because he's fine and Becca talked to him on the phone and he was like, Becca, what's up? Okay. Can we say though how Chris like teed it up?
Starting point is 00:36:38 Teat it up. He was like, look, one of your guys had to be sent to the hospital and he's in. Brutely beaten. Intensive care. Brutely broken nose. Broken nose. And Becca goes, who did this? And he goes, he pauses like, he does this like, like awkwardly long pause and he looks down and he goes, well, he fell out of it. bed and she was kind of like oh oh oh that's a hard fall it's unfortunate because i think he did some serious damage and that's awful yeah messed up his face yeah we just moneymaker thank god it wasn't the model oh thank god thank god it was the chicken i'm sure he has it insured though yeah mug is so beautiful it's like jalo's butt insured yeah absolutely either either way
Starting point is 00:37:23 We're glad that David's okay. Yeah. David's, he's coming back. Yeah, he's coming back with vengeance. Yeah, I think he's going to have a little more confidence because he's going to look so edgy. Yeah, with his black and. Like, who hurt you? And he can make some up.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Yeah, I did. I hurt myself. That's how crazy I am. Don't mess with me. I'll do this to you. No, he's going to be sent home. Yeah. Along with the model.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Oh, I can. I'm just going to be so sad the day that model is. What are they going to do? Hopefully then some relationships will be blossoming and will be invested in some love stories. I think they're going to do a twist. Like Becca's like they'll have something like a plot twist. If they have to get rid of the model because he's so good. And like, you know, adding some spice to be like Becca's first husband, you know, or something like we didn't know she had.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Russ will come back. Oh, she had a husband. No, ex-boyfriend. Okay. I still don't know what his name is. Russ or Ross or Ross. Okay. Well, then he'll come back or who, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Something good will have to happen. Remember on friends when. Ross is Rachel Green's ex But she dates this new guy named Russ And he's exactly like Ross And he's like, hi That's back of sex Um
Starting point is 00:38:33 Then there's the football date where I didn't like how this episode ended I was like there's a football date Clay breaks his wrist and goes home And no row ceremony I'm like oh and that's That's your grape therapy session goodbye Yeah
Starting point is 00:38:47 That's my short Wait the guy that broke his wrist Is he the one that also is he went home for good? Yeah, Clay, he's an NFL player He's got a little broken wrist and a big old broken heart But a very big heart He does Yeah, I liked him
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yeah, he seemed very sweet He seemed really sweet and he left like You know, a lot of guys wouldn't just leave But he's like, I gotta support my family Like my wrist is my job There's Jordan who's like my face is my job Yeah, Clay's wrist is his job You know?
Starting point is 00:39:17 He needs to He's not a good joke, but I tried He needs to ice that wrist He needs to ice it up. And take care of his family. Yeah. It was, he has to get.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Do you know what team he plays on? Do you think I know NFL? He plays for the Chicago boomerings. The Chicago Bulls. He plays for the Wisconsin Chequers. Killing it. I have no idea. I don't know either.
Starting point is 00:39:52 I'm curious what team he plays for and where he's going. Yeah. Is he done now? Like you can't play because he broke his wrist. Well, he has to get serious surgery on it. And it's his thrown wrist, you know? Oh, man. That sucks.
Starting point is 00:40:02 It's serious. I mean, anyways, I have a small feeling he might be back this season. But I don't know. Oh, yeah. I thought they were kind of cute together. He didn't even have like a one-on-one with Eric. No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Yeah. Yeah, he's not coming back. He ain't coming back. No, he ain't coming back. He gone. He gone. And guys, all we have for you because
Starting point is 00:40:23 I didn't like the way that episode ended. No, I wanted a row ceremony. It wasn't even a cliffhanger. Like it wasn't like, and then you're going to find something out next week. It's like, oh, what? That was the end? Or maybe I just got a,
Starting point is 00:40:38 I get a version of the show earlier before it airs. Oh, damn. Well, I wish I had that. It's the least they could do. The least they could do. But yeah, real quick, Guys, if you're looking to buy a car, you're probably familiar with terms like MSRP.
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Starting point is 00:41:20 And how do you know if your true price is a great price? Because True Car shows you what other people paid for that same car that you want. And your certified dealers know this. So they set their true price competitively so they can win your business. This is genius. So when you're ready to buy a new or use car, visit True Car to enjoy a more confident car buying experience. Some features are not available in all states. So that's all we got for you today for grape therapy.
Starting point is 00:41:46 I hope everybody is a super gangster Thursday. Yeah. You're almost at the weekend. Almost time. Thursday's the new Friday is what I heard. It really is. Word on the street. Word on the street.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Thursday's the new Friday. Oh, and this week we'll see you on Tuesday for Off the Vine. It's my special birthday episode. Oh, yeah. When's your birthday? The 30th? June 30th. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:09 We're both cancer babies. No, I'm Gem and I with a little hint of cancer. I feel like you're so cancer though. Why? What does that mean? Emotional. Oh. I am too.
Starting point is 00:42:18 I'm sensitive. Well, I'm right on the cusp. Okay. So I'm like, I'm like super independent, but like super needy. And I'm like really funny, but I'm also like really soft. Yeah. Like I'm really like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:34 I am a bit of both. I see it. I get it. Yeah. We have to do something very special for your birthday. Okay. I'm very excited. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:41 I have to plan something. Okay. Well, we have to do it tomorrow. Oh, God, I know. So you better plan quick. Okay. Well, we're going to have a, we're also. going to podcast tomorrow but that won't air until next tuesday got it that's the birthday episode
Starting point is 00:42:54 my birthday episode will be my live podcast with brey where i announce my due date oh that's right for me something nobody can know until you listen to off the vine on tuesday i'm so excited for your baby my baby line that i'm bringing out yes everyone's like we know you're not pregnant you're drunk right sure fair um but i can't wait to podcast with you um for off the vine and interview you and do like real questions yeah i'm excited because this you've just been like my little like sidekick for the last couple podcasts where we're gonna really get to the bottom of low oh i like okay i'm an open book oh for the most part i don't believe you we're gonna find out i'm just gonna feed you a few glasses of savin jean blanc and i'm very excited because we're doing it um i said that so
Starting point is 00:43:48 abruptly i know i got excited we're uh going to my home yeah country of urbine of urbine i'm not from irvine but i am from orange county california all my orange county peeps out there oh see oh how much did you love the show the oc i didn't actually oh oh was it like that's not what it is no what i mean i loved the oce did you oh marissa Was that Mishka Barton? Yeah. Oh, okay. Wasn't that her name?
Starting point is 00:44:15 Yeah. And I loved the Ryan. Am I was butchering their names right now? Summer. I know Summer. And Adam. Oh, Adam. I loved like gossip girl.
Starting point is 00:44:29 XOXO. Yeah, I was into that. Never watched it once. Oh, damn. I've never seen sex in the city. What else? I've never seen a handmaid's tail. You're missing out.
Starting point is 00:44:38 But I could tell you all about Monday's episode of the best. That's the Red, watched it twice. Or the O.C. Back. Yeah, or the O.C. They also had the Real Laguna Beach and the O.C., which was the TV show, the reality show. The Hills. That was after, but first it was Laguna Beach.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Lauren Conrad. That's my ride. Gotta go. Can't do you. Oh, do you're not sure? But I am, nope, didn't watch it. But I'm really excited to be in Orange County. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:06 That's what you're doing. Very full circle moment. Yeah, you're going to have to give me a little tour, like, show me where you go up at school. No, I can. I cannot wait to show Caitlin all the hot spots in Orange County. Well, you better get there in time. Yeah. I'm leaving bright and early in the morning.
Starting point is 00:45:18 So I'll see you there or I will see you at another time. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the podcast1 app, and subscribe. on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV? Thank you guys so much for listening to my short and sweet bachelor at recap.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Here are your sponsor reviews for this Thursday. LaCroy Sparkling Water, the 100% Innocent Beverage, visit LeCroywater.com. Threadup, get 30% off your first order, threadup.com slash vine, and TrueCar. Visit TrueCar for a more confident car buying experience.

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