Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: The Lo-Down Pt. 1

Episode Date: July 9, 2020

Kaitlyn has her good friend and stylist, Lo VonRumpf back on the show for Grape Therapy (by popular demand)! They have a rigid discussion on when to go braless at the grocery store, his podcast that is coming out soon, and genitalia. The two also discuss topics such as Kristen Stewart being cast in the Lady Di film, the Kardashians, and Megan Fox dating Machine Gun Kelly.   GEICO: Go to www.geico.com and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance   BREYERS: To find out more about Breyers CarbSmart click here: https://www.breyers.com/us/en/products/carbsmart.html  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grace Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor.

Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. You're back by popular demand. The man who needs no introduction. Here to give us the hot soup, the hot goss, the 4-1-1, the low-day. down, if you will.

Trends of quarantine and just overall the show of 2020. Get excited. Furlow. Like that club sound? Oh, God. I always picture you. I do miss that, but I always picture you coming in on like a car over an audience. I remember that video.

That was amazing. That was a funny moment. That was the last time I was like, you know what? think I'm done with the nightclub and I'm going to do it right because it was like some nightclub in Boston that is like known for being you know it's like bottle service douche canoe central like the works and Jason and I went and we went with a bunch of his friends and you know when you just get to that age where like I'm not against the club or like the night club like that or the bottle service I'm really not but I just was like ooh I'm over it and then I continue to drink

I'm done with this. Yeah. You know when you just know? I was like, I'm done. And I was like, I'm going to go out the right way. And so I saw these bottle service girls. They were all in like, you know, these hot little outfits and I probably dressed like a skin. And they're like, they're bringing bottles while in this Barbie car.

And all these guys are lifting them in this Barbie car over crowds of people. And I was like, I need to do that before I get me in that damn car. I looked at Jason and I said, I'm going to get in that car. And so I talked to a manager and they got me in the car. And I delivered a bottle of tequila in a Barbie car. And that was the last time I've ever been to the club. And I just did it right. Yeah.

Went out with a bang, baby girl. I went out with a big bang. Tell me, okay, look, I know it. Rahman's going to start barking. Uh-oh. See it in his little diva face. Tell me what has been, you just had a birthday. happy birthday. I know. I'm 31.

Yes, Robin. We're celebrating. Here, Robin. Come here. I might have to just open the door for him, maybe. No. Oh, or I can pretend I'm going to spray. Does he hate that? Well, because I have this pet corrector and it's like this red.

Oh, yes, he's going to lay down right now. Just room you. Good boy. All you had to do was touch the spray bottle and he's like, whatever you want. Yep. So it's this pet. corrector bottle and it's just air like it just shoots out air and it we used it back in the day for training and now we just have to pull out anything that looks like we could spray it and he's traumatized and yeah he has PTSD he is traumatized and then there's this Pino who's just like a little

okay oh anyway sorry 31 31 I know yeah oh my gosh I remember when we met and 17. I'm pretty sure you were like, but I, not because of your looks, but you just, the way you carry yourself and your job and everything, I thought you were older, but you were 26. Has we really been friends that long? Yes. Yes, we definitely have. Yeah, I know.

I feel like I've known you so long. I feel like, well, 26 to 31, but I feel like I've known you much longer than that. That's true. With the deaths that we've gone. I just found out I lived a past life. So maybe we were friends. in a past life, too. I think we were.

Oh, for sure. We were. Maybe even related. Yeah. Ooh, how fun is that? Back in the 1800s. Yeah. We could have been like crazy Lutherans or we were witches and we were burned at the steak.

That's what it was. We were witches. I remember you being burnt up next to me. Logis, Legarion, Lillivisa. What is the hocus focus? I just watched, the last time I was on a plane, I watched Hocus Pocus. For the first time?

No, no, no. 28th time. It almost gets better every time. It's the cutest movie. And they're coming back with round two. They all signed on for another one. Oh, my gosh. I do I get the lowdown with you.

Tell us when you are going to start your own podcast. This needs to be a thing. Okay, so here's the situation. I am going to start my own podcast. It's already in the works. It's happening. I can't wait for it to be released into the wild. We're just waiting for that right.

moment to release it, but it's, yeah, it's happening. It's going to be happening. I'd say within the next month or two, I'd drop it then. So, yeah, I can't freaking wait to do it. It's going to be really fun. You're going to be my first guess. Yeah, I will. And you were, you were like born to podcast. It's going to be so good. And are you, are you announcing the name? No, not yet. Okay. But I'll tell you this much, it's not the lowdown. I wish, I wish it was the lowdown. That's my dream podcast name. But unfortunately, there's like 12 other lowdowns out there. Oh, shoot.

So I couldn't grab that. I mean, I could still do the lowdown, but because there's so many others, I thought, you know what? No, it gets lost because there's a lot that have been established already on iTunes. But we came up with the name. It uses the word low, but there's no other ones. Oh, okay. I thought I just spoiled it by saying the lowdown. And then I was like, oh, are we saying the name?

And you're like, no, no, no, yeah, it's fine because it's not a little bit. Well, you can tell me off, off the record. Yeah, off the record. But not. You're going to get familiar with these terms of off the record. Oh, my God, I know. Well, and honestly, I feel like the Gaga and you're my Bradley Cooper minus, of course, the alcoholism and whatever happened at the end. I don't want to spoil the movie for people.

Star is born. He does happen. Yeah. No, but I'd say more. There's so much more that happens. That's the ending. He pees his pants, okay? Everybody lives happily ever after you.

That's probably what you had to say so you could like sleep that night because it's heavy. But when Lady Gaga was doing like her press tour and that's how I feel with Caitlin Bristow, there could be a million people in a room. It takes just one person to believe in you. And that's Caitlin for me.

I always believe in you. But that's because you're everything. Like it's so funny how many guests I can have on this podcast and everyone's like, could you bring Lobat though? I'm like getting the, like, Chris Harrison's of the world and everything. I know. But what's Lowe doing? Could we bring Lowe back on?

So here you are. Tell me about the trends of 2020. Well, antidepressants are making a comeback. Full swing. Get that Prozac ready. That's definitely a big trend of 2020. I did read a study. It's like 58% of Americans.

are completely depressed right now, which that's over half of America, and it makes complete sense. Oh, is that real? I saw that, I think it was on Forbes that I read that demographic or percentage of who's depressed. And it makes sense because everything that's going on right now, people are really hurting. People are bummed. And rightfully so, there's a lot happening. So first I was like, okay, we'll get through the pandemic.

This is tough. I feel unemployed. I felt broke. And then I bled through my savings. I still have a little bit left. Thank God. we're okay hanging on by a thread

yeah a little thread a little thread little done still there though yeah but after that happened then I was reading about like killer hornets

and that was just a lot to take in murderous hornets yeah you have to make it sound in the worst case like worst case scenario murder hornet carnivorous

hornets and then when that wrapped up we went right into this huge Black Lives Matter movement, which is fantastic, but I will say getting to that point of the movement being so popular is really sad. It took a lot of people dying. And it's just, it's heartbreaking to see that, to watch the news. You keep seeing all of these different things happening. And I'm like, wow, this is really heavy today. So, so anyway, with that being said, my 2020 trend besides ProSAC or Zoloft, whatever your doctor recommends, there's a lot of

amopathic remedies as well. I would say comfort. I have been all about comfort. Where we're talking clothes, cozy rosy. I just want to be in like the nice cozy sweats. And just being like the most comfortable you can be, I think is like kind of crucial right now. And that's where I'm out.

Yeah. I'm feeling like the grosser, the better. Like Josie Grosy, you know me. Potato with hair as local. To her roots. back to my roots where I feel at home, just, you know, really letting the Botox wear off. No, like, showering, optional. That's always been the case.

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You know what? I'm not a high school girl, so shut up. Run for the hills. Who says going out and partying in a club you can't find love? It's the Spidey podcast with Spencer and Heidi Pratt. Hello, I'm not dead. If you want your husband going out every night, good for freaking you. Hey, that was a joke if you're an idiot. Spencer, you spoiled brat. Your life is amazing.

Get new episodes every Monday on Apple Podcasts, Podcasts, Podcast One, Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts. Don't worry, Mom, I got you. Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. I don't remember the last time I've ever worn a bra. Wow. Yeah. You've never been a big fan.

Yes, you do. You've never been a big fan of the bras, though. They're just such an inconvenience. They're uncomfortable. They always ruin my spray tan. I just like to let the titty's buck. Do you mind, like, let's say you're going to your local Kroger. Do you mind a little nipples, perhaps, peeking through, or is that, I don't know? Do you mean peeking through as in like, like, a sheer top? I'm not wearing a bra. Yeah.

Oh, not like a nip slip. Not like a nipslip. Let's not say like a sheer top to Kroger. Let's say more like a t-shirt, but it's like, oops, I'm in the freezer aisle. Uh-oh. Yeah, I'm not afraid of that. I've learned to just own the hard nip situation because of the piercing, and I'm just like, there it is, you know? We've all up. Yeah. Owning it. I was owning it. Wait, I had something to say about nip slip, nipples, nipple showing. Are you getting your other nipple pierced? no try getting one and see if you want the other one done no it it's it doesn't tickle it depends on if i'm going

to croger or croixie because croixie is like there's one by my house that's actually quite nice and there's um like a cute guy that works behind um like where they sell the seafood oh yeah uh-huh so he's working in the meat department so that's really when i don't wear a bra no just kidding But if I go, that's Crozier, but if I go Kroger, I'm like, I don't give a shit. I'm just kidding. The only time I care is if I go to Whole Foods because I feel like everyone's kind of judgy, especially in L.A., I'm like, oh, God. Like, I have to just make sure, I don't know, like I have my shit a little bit together

just because everyone that goes to the West, especially I'm here in L.A. And the Whole Foods, it feels like a casting call for like, Willamina models or something. It's just a lot. I try to avoid going to that one just because I'm like, oh, God. every time you go it's just like a scene it's the weird like everyone's just like ripped and glistening and there to buy egg whites and kale and I'm just trying to get like my yeah is this what I have to look forward to when I moved to LA for hopefully fingers crossed three months because that says I got at the end of dancing yes absolutely yes oh my god and you'll be in the I think they shoot in the now I'm not sure where they shoot but um I think you're in the valley oh oh CBS rap the CBS lot I think so. I'm actually not 100%, but I guess, I mean, I'm just so worried that it's not going to happen because of quarantine. Well, we seem to be going backwards. Jason's brother sent me a meme and I was like, that is so true. It said, all countries are watching our country the way

we watch Joe Exotic. Oh, Tiger King, yes. Tiger King. Yeah, 100%. Which is really sad. I mean, other countries are like cracking up like wow they're a mess i know we are like it's comical i'm saying we as in i'm not canadian uh but anyways like it feels like it's a sick joke and like i don't know why are you like obviously pro mask yes i am i'm definitely pro well okay and there's a lot of people i'm sure some of the little vinoes listening out there like oh really unfollow block no not my binos not my finest they care the health of the people. But that's where I'm at, because I've had,

I have actually friends that are close to me. They're like, are you serious? Come on. It's like, watch, watch pandemic. It's all a conspiracy. Hillary Clinton's a sex trap at car. Like, people have so many ideas about what's, you know, Dr. Fauci's trying to poison us all.

And I get, there's a lot of conspiracy theories out there. And let's just say, for instance, that the mask thing is, that makes no sense. And this whole thing is just some sort of a sick twist joke, the government is using to just kill certain people. I don't know. Yeah. And the mask don't do anything.

If that is the case, well then, oh, oh, oh, I had to wear a mask for a couple months. A really cute leopard pattern mask. Yeah. But like on the other side of it, it's like I could possibly be infecting people, endangering people. I have high-risk people in my family personally. You know, my mom is over 55 years old. Asthmatic.

You know, I have an uncle with diabetes. Like, I just have to be really mindful and careful. So I don't know. I'd rather just err on the side of caution and play it safe. I wear my cute masks. I don't mind it. Also, don't mind not having to like do a little. I'll do my glasses.

I have my mask. Don't need concealer. I'm doing fresh-faced looks every day. Yeah, you're really just letting the old skin breathe. Oh, yeah. That's been my biggest thing. Well, sort of. Unless you have a mask on.

Yeah. You know what I mean. I know. I'm like just throw a couple lashes on and we good. Yeah. The other day, I had like an ingrown, not ingrown pimple. I had a deep pimple on that. It was, oh my God, Caitlin. I'm going to get emotional just thinking about it because I was so self-conscious. I had a pimple on the tip of my nose. Now, I have a prominent nose. I enjoy my nose. Oh, you don't. Well, I mean, okay, I feel like I do. But when you add a pimple and it was one of those underground like ground hog like deep in there, then I like, picked it and I got and it kind of got bigger and bigger I was so pissed and self-conscious I look like a wicked witch I just hated it and my because my nose was so bulbous and red and then

I like you can't squeeze those God no those because can't pick them either no you can't but if you squeeze not to be too graphic but there's like this I'd say like um like a clear liquid that comes out throw up like like a little. Why am I even talking about this? This is so foul. Anyway. Yeah, go on clear. This clear pus, if you will. Oh, that's bad. Yeah, that happened. And it just got bigger. And I just was like, like that grosser than pus. Oh, I hate it. And I hate, and I also, that word self-in sip to me, but also if you add...

The line? Oh. No, I can't. It's just... No, it's not cute. It's not sexy. No. It is offensive.

I find it offensive. I find it. Deeply offensive. Yeah, that's... Okay, but what would you call it? Oh. Did she say a pooch? No.

And a cooch. Oh. Oh. Oh. There's that. Coutre's cute. I usually call it a Vajin. Oh, Vigine's pretty fancy, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. Or I say like Vigine or Lotus or, you sure, I don't know, whatever. Like a little flower. Yeah, like a little flower. Anything, but. Everyone that listens to this podcast knows I call mine a paper cut. Oh, God. Well, it's just little.

But that's it. But wait, I don't. Oh, painful. all of. Not that you're like an expert in vaginas, but there's like a bunch of vinos who then got like self-conscious and they're like, whoa, should mine look like a paper

cut? And then they did a chart and there's just like probably 12 different vagina shapes and sizes. And I hope everybody out there is proud of their machine and what it looks like even you know, like ours all don't look the same. Just like

Dix. They're all so different. Oh my God. Did you watch the Jeff Epstein documentary on Netflix. Yeah, it was really disturbing. Yeah, creepy creeps. But I will say, speaking of, like, different shapes and sizes. Did you try and Google an egg-shaped penis? I did. Of course. And? I mean, well, I went to like the dark web, like I saw it. Oh, yeah. It's more like a chode as the reference, but just like a really thick base. I'd say some extra skin that just kind of hangs over the top and I wish people could see my face

she's about to hurl I'm the way and so disgusting I just want to like I would just have just would have chopped it off yeah that's graphic yes yeah so there's different shapes you know I once I remember seeing a one

I've seen many A different dicks in my days But there's some that are more like a boomerang dick You call it kind of curves A little curvature moment Yeah Those are fun In places he never knew existed

There you got exactly So yeah And so there's you know So just like women guys have all the different colors And celebrate them all I'll try and not vomit Next time you talk about egg-shaped peen Because we're trying to celebrate them all

Had no idea, though, that there's such a thing as micropenuses. I thought that was just a joke that, like, it is a thing. And my heart goes out to the micropenus community because it is freaking rough out there, isn't it? If you're listening and your dick is smaller than a pinky, my God. It is just so. Because if you think about it, like, you almost, it's like a child. And it's just a traumatic thing for a woman to see this little, tiny, little thing that resembles that of a baby. I love something like pro masks to micro penises for five minutes.

Like, anyways, but our heart is seriously with the micro penis community. Yeah. Tough tips, huh? Okay, we're going to, we're going to do. I mean, I know the name's taken, but we're going to do the lowdown. We're going to do, I'm going to bring up some recent pop culture happening, and I need your thoughts and opinions on them. So give me the lowdown on the following topics.

Are you ready? I'm ready. Here we go. Oh, my God. This is fun. Kristen Stewart is set to play Princess Diana in the new movie centered on her life and relationships. Thoughts on that casting. The worst thing that happened since COVID-19.

I was... the worst thing I was livid wild like okay she's great little vampire lady what i mean or the twilight was great little vampire lady that moment for her fantastic i think she's a great act actually i don't who am i kidding i don't think she's the best actress and um i don't know lady die is just such an iconic figure. Do you think anyone would be able to play her? I actually wish that it was someone that was just not a big name that just

had that, that didn't have any, like, preconceived notions or you didn't remember any roles from her before, and this was, like, her big breakout role, like, J-Lo. Oh, my gosh, sorry, I just got a weird notification. Like, your computer's about to crash, like, all the porn have been downloading. Oh, good, good, good. Good night. I'm kind of like Selena to Jay-Low.

you know when she's that was selina's break or selina see everyone thinks that selina lives in jalo i'm not a huge jalo fan i think she stole selina kenthenia's career bill really well i know jalo is kind of a nightmare um you know she's not the easiest to work with that's kind of industry always says that about her but but i but i love her skin i think she's fantastic she's got great skin got some great skin i don't care what they say about her. She's got great skin. Yeah. Maybe she's tough to work with, but she's gorgeous. She takes care of herself. I do love a lot of her songs. But she was, I think the Latin community, myself included, we were obsessed with Selena Kintanilla, Biddy Bambom. When she died, I was like, oh, it was like losing a family member. And then J-Lo came in on that role. And I think everyone was just like,

Selena lives. Like, you know, like, her spirit is here. And she was remarkably similar in looks to her and I think that we just put all of our Selena love into J-Lo, which isn't a bad thing, but I'll just say like yeah, but for Princess Diana, that story, oh, I don't know. Not Kristen Stewart, though.

I'm not, I don't know. It just doesn't seem right, but like, I I mean, Kristen Stewart, I always say Kristen Stewart doesn't always smile, but when she does, she doesn't. She's just always so serious. Yeah, it has like that a little bit of a scowl, which, and again, that goes to like Princess Diana always has like that sweet, shy and this beautiful smile. She was such a style icon, too.

Oh, I know. I do like that. So, yeah, I'm not thrilled on that one, but, oh, well. Well, I feel you on that. I would have liked to see someone with a breakout role, too, because what is with the vampire actors getting these big gigs? Didn't Robert Pattinson, didn't he like the new Batman or something? Yeah, not into it. Oh, my gosh.

That's insane. I want like a Jason Momoa. Give me a freaking Hawaiian Batman. I need a Hawaiian bat. Give me a Hawaiian Batman. That's what I want. I think he's Hawaiian or Samoan. Tongan.

He's a mixture. I don't know. He's beautiful. He's beautiful. He's freaking beautiful. Hey, did you know that right now, Guyco is offering an extra 15% credit on car, motorcycle, and RV policies? That's 15% on top of.

what GEICO could already save you. So what are you waiting for? Save an extra 15% when you switch by October 7th. Visit GEICO.com to learn more. This is Austin Vine, Grape Therapy. Kim Kardashian is officially a billionaire along with her sister Kylie, but is Kylie still a billionaire? I don't think so.

I don't know. She was a billionaire, and then someone like said something and it took her status away when she's like, I don't know. both work their asses off. I'll give them that. Yeah. Well, no, their asses are definitely not off. They're still there. They both work their asses on. Oh, stupid.

They both work hard, okay? The Kardashians got a lot of ass. They just go and go and go and they don't quit. I don't know how they do it. Yeah, I don't, I don't get it either. Sell their soul to the devil. But I will Yeah, I will say though that especially, like, because I'm like, why are people so

into this. The Kardashians are such a thing, these pop culture phenomenons. But in my, okay, I'm just think about it, especially right now, what we're in, like, everyone is like, oh, things are so heavy, and it's just, you watch the news, and it's really depressing. For me, I mean, I'm sure other people agree. So sometimes you just need a mindless, stupid escape. And to me, that's the Kardashians. I'm like, oh, my God, came through a birthday party. Like, tell me all about it. Like sometimes it's just... Well, those birthday parties are next level, like, parties we'll never attend in our whole lives. And the kids will remember it.

Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. I actually, I find them super entertaining, as we all do. But, like, you don't know why. They're just kind of funny. But they are, I will say, I met the moms. Yes.

Brank about it. But I've heard... At the People's Choice Awards. Yeah, but I've heard that people actually say that they are really nice girls. Yeah, I believe it. I like to hear that. I believe it, yeah. I know a couple of people who work closely with them doing glam,

and they always say they're the sweetest, they're a great family to work for, they're generous, like they treat their people great, loyal. So, you know, I mean, even though they are like, I guess what, technically like reality trash TV, but they've built billion-dollar empires. Yeah.

Oh, and Kim Kardashian Skins. Is that why I think that's the name of the company? Yes, skims. Yeah. Incredible. Are they? They're incredible. Yeah.

And I love that she has like every shade. Like everyone needs to do that. Like, oh my God, especially because when I'm dressing some of my clients, they're not all super white. I have all colors of the rainbow in my roster. And now I'm like, okay, I have shapewear that I can use for them, which so I do love that about it. That's true.

You know what I saw also that like I, again, I never knew this growing up because we weren't taught or learned or weren't knowledgeable about this, but ballet slippers, they've always been to match pink tights or skin-colored tights, and they're starting to make black shoes to match black skin, which I love. I thought that was really cool, but I can't believe it took this long. I didn't even know that was the thing. There are some, some of the best, most incredible ballet dancers who are black, who I adore on a watch, like, YouTube. I don't, I'm, like, obsessed with watching ballerinas. I like love it so much. And I cannot believe it was just now that they're starting to make a shoe to match their skin color. Wow. Yeah, it's it's yeah. I didn't even know that

the ballet slippers. I thought it was just pink because of like the pink two to and like I thought that was part of it. Oh, right. Fourth of July starts. The fireworks are starting. Oh, here we go. Robin. That's like the last thing I want to hear is fireworks. aren't they like illegal right now are we not supposed to be in some places they are um my city they're not illegal they still have and even if they are illegal people still do them unfortunately blow off their hand and stuff nothing good comes from it no i was i was in germany and oh my god i feel like i bring up germany every freaking podcast it's just like such a like memory in my life and obviously a unique experience but in in europe they just set off fireworks like you can go like

the end of the grocery store line they're like here you want fireworks and then everybody just goes off on them in the streets um for like new years and stuff and this guy that played hockey blew off his thumb and like end of his career yeah it's freaking terrible that's what happens when you let idiot drunk idiots play with fireworks so yeah oh god it gives you blow off your freaking hockey ham your pup your buddy maker oh wait this is their for this is their first fourth of july together, because you've had Pino, you had him for a full year, right? Pino I've had since November, Raman I've had for over a year. Oh, okay, okay.

So, Duky, my little pug of love, he freaks out with fireworks, hates him, the panting starts. I mean, he has full anxiety, like an anxiety attack. Oh, that makes me sad. Oh, I hate it. So I gave him, like, the noise-canceling headphones, and I put those on him. and and I bundle them up so he feels all nice and secure and we just like lay in bed together but you know it's tough I get I got like a basically a doggy volume from our my bet that

they said you could give him that so he could be out of it we have little CBD treats together but they don't actually they're there they grew up on the street so they're pretty chill with noise but okay this one bothers me I'm not sure Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are now openly dating Like, did you know that? I didn't know that. I knew that they had like a public makeout moment. I think that she's doing it for press. I think that he gets to say he's with Megan Fox,

who's, I mean, she could be like 58 and still look like a son or like. She's ageless. Yeah. Gorgeous queen. But I think because what's her and member X, Brian Austin Green? Yeah. They'll end up back together. They have kids.

They're Christian. I think they're going to end up back like in love, doing their thing. this is just like she needs to live and have a moment with machine gun whatever his name is it's not going to last it's kind of like almost like a publicity stuff like who's that gorgeous actress

Kate Beckinsale and the guy with Crohn's Deeds Yes Oh my gosh that Pete David said I listened to his interview with Howard Stern and I was like this is crazy first of all Howard Stern is just such a good interviewer he can get anything out of anyone

and just naturally talk about crazy shit like I listen to them talk about masturbating for like 20 minutes and I was like what a great interview yeah something about Howard Stern who's he's just good at what he does but that Pete Davidson lives in his mom's basement and plays video games and gets the hottest women of all time yeah really humor will do it I get it I mean I find him quite attractive no really oh yeah no know you do you're into it but it's like like I I almost like um like I'm attracted to his sadness almost like I want to help yeah I'm not really one to want to like help men but him I am

because he's also funny so I'm like he'd probably make me laugh off I was helping him yeah totally the tortured artist and he has a few laughs along the way and he's been through it these stunts though I don't get it because does Megan Fox really need publicity like did she have any movie coming out or something or like what is Kate Beck and they'll need, like, attention for. She's got to all figured out. I think to stay a little relevant, perhaps. Oh.

I think, like, well, and, well, so, like, Megan Fox, for example, she's had some films, you know, actually, I can't think of many of her movies, the Transformers, Ninja Turtles. And, yeah, so maybe she just wants something to spice things up right now, you know? Bites it up a little bit.

Get the name out there, because maybe she has a project that's coming out. I don't know. I always just think because I've seen full on like arranged relationships happening that now I'm such a, like, I guess cynical when it comes to these, I'm like, I don't buy it. I don't believe it for a second. I think that

it's publicist that worked it out or the managers are involved or it's just something weird about it. Yeah, just to get a little bit of buzz going. I would never want to like pull a stunt on to get people to talk about me. I'd be like, oh my God, Caitlin, take a slice of humble high, like, you're desperate right now.

Like, take a knee. Take a knee, Caitlin. Take a knee. Stop being so thirsty. Okay. Blue Ivy Carter won her first BET Award for her work on Beyonce's song, Brown-Skin Girl. Oh, iconic.

How cute is that? Little Blue Ivy. Little Blue Ivy. I don't know much about Blue Ivy besides her being adorable, being a definite mixture between Jay-Z, Beyonce. Sometimes she looks so Beyonce. Other times it's like Jay-Z. And she's adorable and has, like, Beyonce vibes already.

She's a little queen bee in the making. She is a little queen bee in the making. Okay. Is there any hot gossip that I'm missing right now that you're like, can we get to that? Ooh. It's hard because, like, quarantine is really killing the Hollywood gossip vibes, too. Yeah, it sure is. It's like, we, okay, we get a Ben Affleck and his girlfriend, Woffer Dog, every day.

There we go. On, like, the paparazzi shots. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know where everyone's. Everyone's just at home, quarantined. So there's not much really happening. I think people are just trying to get through the day. Like, I think I saw a headline that I named my cactus Juan Pablo because he's a prick. Like, that's how slow it is in the news. That was on the CNN scroll. That's how my mom found out. She's like, oh. You know, all the parents, I feel like all parents are glued to the TV these days. Oh, they are. Get me away. Get me away. my mom messages me the other day and she says it so casually she's like so um new new uh load of

swine mosquitoes coming to the states it's going to be the new pandemic i'm like this how we like text each other now like that's just a new pandemic coming your way yeah god it's yeah i don't even know what's in store for the next few months but oh man i will say though um like what they're they're like tearing down statues and stuff i've been seeing that everywhere people are really said about it. I don't mind it. I don't know. I'm not too attached to statues. That's true. If it was Mariah, I'd be like, how dare you? Like, I'd be like, oh, I'd be coming out with a pitch for

if it was my Mariah. Oh, Mariah. Oh, man. But, um, what's with Mariah these days? How's Mariah doing? She's living in her butterfly mansion. She's with, um, her cute little boyfriend, uh, dancer, man. wait oh no no no oh no what i just pulled up oh boy is this real i just pulled up you know the instagram search page which is in my opinion the devil yes i mean i'm not going to show this okay is that a girl who got her lips filled a little too much oh that makes me sad i'm all for like

a little lip filler we all know that but that i just pulled that up and i thought it was going to be like oh my gosh allergic reaction or like don't go to this person but this is like oh that makes me sad okay um i see that happens so much um too much people putting well the thing is when you go to if you if you've had your lips done i've had mine done before as well um am i allowed to say that of course i'm pro filler boca that's right yeah yeah no i'm in um but yeah when you go get it you have they give you the syringe and you pay the full amount for it but you only use a little bit if you want to keep it like classy like you have the perfect little pout but you end up wasting a lot of it unless you want to put it other places so a lot of these girls will just say like forget

it like fill her up because they don't want to waste all of the oh the syringe the syringe yeah because you're paying for it no matter if you use it or not oh so a lot of the good point okay so the and the doctors usually will kind of like say like it's just going to go to a waste like we could fill it a little more and then before you know it you're looking like that girl you have a bad doctor yeah exactly like no don't it's it's the the what's the word i like to use conservative you have to be conservative i mean over the years i've i've had some pokes i'm pretty much like a pin cushion but i'm all for it but i just feel like you have to be conservative with filler filler like you'd be careful yeah otherwise you would you ever go like and actually like under the

knife, do like a facelip. Well, you had rhinoplasty and an eye lift, but outside of those two pieces... You were so serious. I was like, is that what the magazine put? It was not over. I saw once in a magazine that I got a chin implant. I was like, oh. Oh, oh, that was... Oh, my God. I did think you had a nose drop, though. But then I did. I thought it for a very long time until... No, you didn't. You never told. me that? I think I said it. Oh, well, I said it at dinner. I was like, oh, you have the cutest little nose. Like, who's your surgeon? And you're like, what? Like, I don't have one for my nose. And I was like, okay, um, you need that crab roll? I've never gone under the knife for anything. I'm not

saying I would never, but I, I will say it's, it would scare the shot of me. Like, it would have to be something that like, like, if something happened to me where I needed like reconstructed something just because I um I know a couple situations one of my friends moms actually like dropped dead just from going under for like some work on her face um blood clots and that just scares me surgery scares me so much I watch way too many episodes of grace anatomy people always die from like the craziest things and so I'm like I'm not risking that I mean unless I got hit in the face with a golf ball which almost happened to me one time oh but But otherwise, I'm not against it.

Like, if other people do it, I'm like, yeah, to freaking get, do everything that you want to do. But for me, it would scare the shit out of me to do that. Yeah. No, again, I used to love the show, NipTuck. And after I watched that, I was like, I want everything. I want my eyelids. They want knee implants or, you know, to do every single thing you could think of.

The weirdest procedures. Oh, and I watched Bombshell, the Hetty Lamar story. Have you seen that? No. Oh, Caitlin. It's so good. All you listeners out there, bombshell. on, I think it's on Netflix.

Really? Oh. Wait, I have a Netflix list going on my notes. I'm going to add it. Oh, it's really good. Hattie Lamar, she is one of the most iconic, beautiful actresses back in the 20s and 30s. Actually, fun fact, Walt Disney based his character,

Snow White, on her bone structure because she was so beautiful. And he wanted a character to do a cartoon that resembled Hetty Lamar. What? Wait, what's it called again? Bombshell. But she was also, besides, being this stunning, beautiful

actress, she was extremely intelligent and she created basically like Wi-Fi. She's her Bluetooth. She created Wi-Fi? Just drop a bomb show. Have you ever heard of the internet? Well, that's her. No,

it's Bluetooth technology. My bad. I don't want people to at me. It's a lot. Yeah, Bluetooth technology. But her story is so fascinating and and it's really cool and sad. But she was ahead of her time with cosmetic procedures. She was getting, like, she was one of the first actresses to get, like, her knees done.

And she would have- You get your knees done? Mm-hmm. Yeah. You look to them. Well, some people get a little self-conscious. As you age, the skin kind of gets a little bit loose in your arm, your knee, like, joint areas. So you can actually, like, kind of tighten it up.

And so she had that done. She was one of the first people to get, like, a facelift. And they still were kind of nervous about, like, what a facelift entailed. And she was like, do it, you know? Really? And then, yeah, I don't want to give everything away, but it's a very tragic but amazing story. Okay. I'm going to watch that.

I have gone back and forth with wanting boobs, but at the end of the day, that's like, we've talked about this. One of my favorite parts of my body is my small boobs, but I just get in this weird zone where I'm like, well, there's a little bit bigger. And I'm like, slap myself, like, no, Caitlin, no, we love your small boobs. I'm so glad you didn't get them done. Yeah, no. I told you, all the clients that I have them that I style, they all, I'd say, yeah, literally all of my clients who have a boot job, I've regretted it. Really? Yeah.

Just, well, I have one who did it, but she went for a full B cup. And she was, she was fine with it. She was like, that's a full B, almost C, and she loves them. But everyone else who went like a little bigger and they, they're uncomfortable and they just, yeah, it's just. I mean, I'm all about comfy. We know that. So no boobes for me. No boobies for me.

Okay, Vino. So as per usual, Lowe and I had a little too much fun when we recorded this. So we decided to make it into two parts for you guys. So stay tuned for the next week's grape therapy where we continue the conversation. And I know you all know this already, but you're not going to want to miss his confession. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday, and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on podcast.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV?