Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Victoria Garrick

Episode Date: August 27, 2020

Kaitlyn is joined by former D1 volleyball player, TED Talk speaker, social media influencer and mental health advocate, Victoria Garrick! Victoria comes on to share her story with mental health issues, body positivity and self-love. Later, they share some confessions and Victoria answers some questions from fans! GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance RITUAL – Visit Ritual.com/VINE to get 10% off during your first three months. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Now, Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first three months. Fill in the gaps in your diet with essential for women a small step that helps support a healthy foundation for your body. Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Great Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin.

All right, everybody. Welcome to Great Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Your session is about to start. Today, I get the chance to speak with a former Division I and semi-pro ball player. She's also a TED Talk speaker, mental health and body image advocate, podcast host, and self-love enthusiast. She's so lovely and someone who is deeply passionate about inspiring and supporting everyone around her. She's gained hundreds of thousands of followers across social media platforms where she's known for her positive media campaign. Hashtag real post. We talk about that. She's also a spokesperson for a soon to be released, a young adult novel created by the late NBA legend Kobe Bryant called geese are never swans. It was a really great conversation. She has a lot of really important and powerful things to

say. So I hope you enjoy this podcast with Victoria Garrick. I just did a post because you inspired me. So I was just watching your TED talk about mental health and as an athlete. and everything. And you were like talking about being in a state of depression. And then you're like, but look at my Instagram posts. And it was like all happy and you're celebrating with friends and you're dressing up for goodness and all these days. And I was like, man, I'm having one of those days where, and I just posted this on my Instagram. I saw it. I was like, this is so in vibe. Let's carry this into the combo today. We're going to get so real, Caitlin. Yes. I love that. And you inspire because I was watching. I'm like, why am I not posting about like,

sometimes I don't think people want to see certain things going on in the world right now with what we're living through. I get nervous to expose my certain depressions because I feel guilty. Why should I feel depressed or, you know, okay, so what? It's hormones. Get over it. Like, look what else is going on in the world. And I'm like, no, I need to share this with people because other people go through these

same feelings and same things. And that's like what I want the internet to be in certain times is a place for people to relate and understand and not feel alone. So watching your, I was watching it on YouTube, but I'm like, there we go. This is perfect to talk about it and do right before this podcast, and I'm going to put it out there. And I do it. I love that. No, I, that hit, that hit home. And it's so important, especially with you doing it. And it's funny. We can get cut off in our own problems. And it's just good to have perspective that you know there's other things happening right now and in the grand scheme of things. Our problems are probably more minuscule, but they're still valid.

And we're going to have emotions tied to those that we can't just ignore. That's, that's true. And I always try and tell people that, too, that just because you're feeling like other bad things are happening doesn't mean what you're going to isn't valid. So thank you for saying that. Of course. Of course. Yes. And thank you for being on the podcast today. I obviously just love what you do. I try and keep it so real on all of my platforms and you do it so consistently. And obviously it was probably a journey for you to be able to get to that place. So let's start at the beginning, you had quite the career in in volleyball. Tell me how that all started. Well, I played volleyball my whole life. And it's funny, the volleyball in sports,

it like all intertwines. Because in high school, and I'm sure you can kind of relate to this, I was just obsessed with being pretty. And then, and like the Victoria Secret models, I'm like, oh, I could list all of them. I could list their measurements. Like, I was just in high school, obsessed with a certain image. And at the same time, I was a competitive volleyball player. And then I ended up committing to play at USC, which was an absolute dream for me. but what was to come after that was so much more and it was so stressful and there was such a demand and I just wasn't prepared for that. I almost feel like you could maybe relate with Bachelorette because it's like, oh, this is my dream. And then you get there and you're like, wait,

all of this stuff is coming along with it. I was not prepared. Somebody really prepares you because they think you're doing your dream and you're doing what you love to do and you've wanted this. So like, and you kind of said this in your talk. too about how especially athletes are told suck it up you got to be strong and you got to get out there and just get it done and the show must go on kind of thing and that that was kind of similar for me filming the show it was like exactly like you said a dream come true and then you get in it and the thick of it and you realize the hard work and and the kind of the lack of sleep the like you're not carving out time for yourself you're just trying to please other people and and that sounds like that's what

you went through too as an athlete. Yeah, it looks like a dream in this incredible cloud nine experience. And a lot of it is, but we forget from the outside looking in how you have to stay afloat. Like, you got to stay on cloud nine. And you can't just be chill in there. There's so much work that goes into it. And it was just like the schedule and the pressure and the eyes on you, not to mention just as a freshman student, but also a freshman student athlete, there's so many changes. You're living with a stranger. You're figuring out your food. It's mostly cafeterias. You can't see your family as much. You're making all new friends. You want to be cool and fit in. And at the same time, I'm trying to compete for a spot on this division one team. And all of that started to, you know,

sink in. And that's when I started to really, my mental health issues first started to develop. Now, when you first had these feelings of like depression and comparisons and trying to do it all, Did you realize it in the moment or did it kind of take till it went too far for you to say, I have to do something about this? It definitely was gradual. I did not know it first. I mean, especially with like performance anxiety, which is just when you have anxiety around doing a certain thing.

So whether it's even just giving a meeting at your office or for me, it was a volleyball game, I started to really lose confidence. And I was very confident. So I had no idea where all of that had gone, not to mention. just weird things were happening, like my heart was pounding really fast. I couldn't sleep the night before. I would just feel like I was on the verge of tears. You know, you're on the verge of tears and you're looking at a friend like, why am I going to cry right now? And they're looking at you like, it's okay. So that was gradual. And then the body image stuff was gradual too.

It started with, huh, you know, she's getting a lot of likes. She's in a bikini and she looks really skinny. So I'm going to try to replicate that. And my freshman year kind of became this try to keep up and put on this mask and this facade that I'm like every other girl here. And it's, I went to USC. So I'm in Los Angeles. And I mean, half the girls in class are models. I mean, the kids are so smart. And so the competition, like I viewed it as competition, which was unhealthy at the time. And also with the anxiety, I just thought, I can't let anyone know. I don't have confidence. Like, here I am living my dream, doing this incredible thing freshman year. Oh, no, I don't want the teammates to know, my coaches to know. The people who are rooting for you,

my parents who are so proud of me, I can't tell them I'm afraid to play. So gradually, I was just kind of letting this get worse and worse as I ignored the problem. Yeah. And then what was the turning point for you when you realized you couldn't live like that? And how did you over you overcome that because I mean there's so people get in this rut but they they they get further and further down into it and don't understand how to come out until it's you know at this point of and I had been there too where you're just too depressed that you need somebody else's help at that point yeah for me I kind of came back my sophomore year of college and all of that anxiety and those body image issues and everything had just been happening for such a long time that I just

felt like numb. I just for the first time in my life entered that low state of depression and I'm just a super bubbly outgoing girl. So it was this weird feeling of waking up every day feeling like there were just tons of cement on you or you just couldn't tap into the smile or the emotions you wanted to have. And it kind of relates to your Instagram post today. Like it overcomes you and you can't snap out of it. And in that time, I started to have some really dark thoughts. And this just went on and on. And I kind of realized, like, okay, this is not just, I'm sad. This is something more serious. And I ended up with my depression and anxiety opening up to a teammate about it who I really trusted. And she said to me, okay, well, I see a psychologist at the health center.

And I remember looking at her just thinking, you're so cool. You're an upperclassman. You're a captain. Like, you see a therapist. Right. And she said, yeah, I do. And that just made it seem a little bit more okay for me to go. But I was still my first time going to therapy really nervous because of the stigma.

Right. Of course. It's, you see it in the movies and on TV. If it's like for some really troubled kids who, you know, have a bad family and they don't know what to do like you're sitting there feeling like I'm I'm here I'm living my dream I'm doing what I want to do I have great friends why am I feeling this way and and why should I have to go to therapy yeah and especially one is an athlete I mean you never want to you want to be the leader you don't want to ask people for help but then also just as people in general who want to

be like even girl bosses or just like high achieving therapy it's the stigma of okay you need someone else to help you with your life. And we don't always want someone to help us. We want to do it ourselves. And so it was really hard for me to say, I don't have the answers. I don't know how to do this. Can you show me the way? And it took me a while to get to that point.

Because I think people forget that leaders also need to be led. You know, they get to be leaders because they're okay with other people leading them through different ways because that's how you are going to learn new things about yourself and grow like that. if you put yourself in those positions to learn from others. Exactly. Yeah, it's true. And no one is too strong to suffer or to go through something.

And I kind of realized, and I have been realizing now, like the people I idolized, everyone's going through something. It's so true. And that kind of helps me, too, when I'm meeting people and trying not to judge them or question them, especially through social media. There's so much we're not seeing. We're comparing our biggest insecurities and downfalls to the thing someone chose to show us that day.

Right. And social media obviously is always about how hard we work for fitness and like our bikini bods and what we're eating and what we're doing in our day to stay fit and how happy we are. And I mean, that's why my feed now is completely different than what it used to be five years ago. I used to follow the Victoria's Secret models and I used to follow this because I was like, oh, goals. And now it's like motivation. Yeah. And now I follow accounts that are like mental health and body positivity because it

does shift your brain into this healthier way of thinking when you're constantly feeding it more positive things that are more realistic. Yeah, definitely. I think a big thing, especially I even recommend to anyone who wants to start a better journey with themselves is declutter and detoxify all of your platforms. I mean, take a day to go through and unfollow the accounts that don't make you feel good about yourself. And we forget that we have the power to do that. I think we feel this pressure to follow these certain celebrities or keep up with these trends.

But the biggest thing I did was cleanse from all of that. And then when I got to a better place, I was like, okay, I'll follow her because I love her style. But I'm going to see the style instead of her thin waist this time. That's so true. I have done the same thing where I've gone back and been able to refollow or because I'm in a, better place with myself and have a healthier mindset to see past that because and I think I saw that

you posted on your Instagram something from Becca Tilly because I've seen that on her story and thinking God that just like hit me right where it counts and she she was talking about how nobody has ever made an impact on her motivated her anything that like really fills her up just from being like wow she was really skinny and pretty you know like that's not something that that is I mean, that's great, pretty, it's getting great. Whatever body shape you are, great. Whatever, you know, it's always about who they are on the inside that has actually impacted people. I found really interesting. I saw that you reposted that. Yeah, I loved it. That's why I wanted to reposted it. I thought she just, it was so well said. And any time I think about myself,

like if I think about any time I tried to lose weight or look a certain way, it was for two reasons. One, for everyone outside myself. So I've got to look this way because I've got to keep up with these Instagram girls or look this way. Or two, I've been convinced that I can't like or accept myself unless I look this way. It was never for, you know, bettering the world or inspiring people. It was all rooted in. This is the only way I can fit in or keep up.

And I just felt like it was a race that never ended. And something I talk about too, and I'm curious to know your thoughts, is the trends change all the time. We used to want thin eyebrows and, like, natural makeup. And now it's like we want the thickest eyebrows possible, the biggest lips. We want you to be slim thick. And being really skinny and moduli is out. And so it's just constantly changing. And I don't think there's ever going to be a day where that ends.

So you just kind of have to hop off for yourself, for your own sanity. I know. I'm wondering if a trend will ever come around since we're all more open and vulnerable as people now. If the trend will ever come to just like, who cares? Like whatever you want to look like, whatever you look like right now. But then they will make money, Caitlin, the $70 billion industry, that's, see, I wish it was like that. And I think we can get there. Question for you. Did you know that right now, GEICO is offering an extra 15% credit on car, motorcycle, and RV policies? That's 15% on top of money,

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Save an extra 15% when you switch by October 7th. Visit GEICO.com to learn more. You've grown your Instagram and all these platforms by being authentic and by sharing your story and by being more real on the internet, which, you know, a lot of girls want to follow the Kardashians to see what they're doing with their makeup trends and this and that. And people are following you for authenticity and to see real, which has got to feel very empowering. What was the shift? Like, what was the point where you're like, I'm going to post this on Instagram and I'm going to just start being myself for that, like, what happened there? Yeah, so I have a really funny story about this. It's literally a switch. I mean, I wish it was, it's not some gradual thing. It was, I was with my family and we were at a beach and, of course, I had this bikini

I got for Christmas and I was about to get this perfect Instagram and I, like, asked my mom, mom, like, it's time for picks and like, well, you come with me and do this photo shoot. And my older brother just kind of sat there, just looking at this absurdity kind of unfold. And after this photo shoot, literally like 30, 40 minutes, we all know what it's like to get a million pictures. So I come back and I'm getting right. Of course, I face tuned it because at that time I was like, I've got to be thinner. I got to be tanner. So I edited the picture. And then my older brother just kind of interrupted me and said, why do you want to post that? And at the first, I thought he was just josh him with me. I was like, this is a sacred moment. Please let me just continue

formulating my caption, my emojis. And he goes, no, seriously, why do you want to post that? And I realized he wanted to have a conversation. And we all idolize our older siblings. It's my older brother. So I'm sitting there like, okay, I want to post this picture because it's going to get a lot of likes. And then he asked me, why do you want a lot of likes? And I sat there thinking about that question and realized, I want a lot of likes because that makes me feel good. And literally in that moment, I thought, wow, I just did all of that to have other people tell me I can feel good.

And I ended up posting the picture, but as like I got likes and the comments from my friends came, I just felt really weird inside. I felt like really weird. And it was like I watched it happen. What had happened so many times and I hadn't noticed it happened now. and I was like, wow, all these comments about how I look and these likes and my best friends and the fire emoji, I was like, it's all for my self-esteem. And I absolutely don't want to be a person that needs this from other people. And after thinking about it all night long, the next day, I posted a no-filter picture of my yaya, I'm Greek, so my yaya's my grandma, my yaya's face.

And I just said hashtag real post. And like that was the start. Like from that moment on, my Instagram people were like, did you mean to? to post this on your Finsta? And I was like, no, this was for my feed. Oh my gosh. That's, I was wonder that too, because I mean, in your, what do you call her again? Yeah, yeah. In her generation, have you ever talked to her about that? Did it matter to them? Like, they didn't even have that option. Like, even when I, I'm 23, but when I was in high school, I got Snapchat my sophomore year. and the girls now and guys nowadays literally wake up at 11 years old and have the access to this right on their phones so you know it's like definitely i think everyone has experienced like my mom

will openly say like she had to go to wait watchers when she was x years old like that was obviously still a thing was the way you're supposed to look but i don't think they had that same pressure 24-7 at the palm of their hands that's what i was thinking like i i know that it I think about my mom and things that she's told me from growing up as a dancer and the pressure that she had to be skinny and be pretty to be a ballerina and all these things. And then I'm like, Kate, now imagine that social media and everything. And I always say this on my podcast, that there's always magazines for us to look at that were obviously still unhealthy. But now there's every kind of platform in the world to compare yourself. And so when you saw that, what was

the hashtag real talk? No, real those. real post I just yeah so I saw you have your hashtag real Instagram I absolutely love that I mean anything real I'm here for it let's just loop it under the same great movement um and so from that day on I just kind of started I guess I also thought about like when you're 50 I mean do you get a new Instagram account to like commemorate the new stage in your life like I don't think so right you keep it and so I'm like I want to scroll back and see things that mattered to me and that were genuine and real. And I don't want to scroll back and see this fake bikini picture that is not even my body because I photoshopped it. So I think that's why I looked over at her and I was like,

I love you. You're the cutest little thing I've ever seen. And so I posted her. And then it like naturally, I just started doing that for myself. And then I ended up giving this TED talk and people came to my page. And then I started thinking, wow, there's something to this. And that's kind of how I've built the platform since. Yeah, that's amazing. I just think that's, I love when I hear people grow platform from that kind of movement. I think, like, obviously, more judgment on anything else. I just, I just did an interview with an 18-year-old who has like $46 million dollars, dollars, sorry, followers on probably that too, but on TikTok. And I didn't, I, I, Is it Charlie DeMilia?

Yeah, it was Lauren Gray. Oh, okay, cool, cool. Yeah, I've seen her. Okay, so I checked out her TikTok because I told her, and I was like, oh, she's just posting bikini picks and, like, dancing, and I was kind of disappointed. But then I did a little more research, and she's actually been really open about some, like, mental struggles and things that she's been through. And she talks openly on other platforms about things, and I was glad that I gave her a chance.

And then I talked to her on the podcast, and she, was so lovely and I'm like that's cool because you're 18 years old and with that amount of eyes following you it's it's I understand that she's still going to do the bikini things but it's nice that she's got the duality to also be able to talk real talk and I hope that you know over her years she goes more into how real things affect people and being you know more authentic can can be your brand. And with that, with so many of the young girls who are getting platforms so quickly, I mean, I have to think back on like, if I got a platform when I was 17 or 18, it would have been just as, you know, it would be filtered and bikinis. And so it's like, you know,

I didn't come into my own until I was like, end of my 18 year, 19, 20. So a lot of these young people, especially with the scrutiny of their bodies and their appearances, which I know you've experienced too, so many people commenting, you know, it's like, I try not to judge that. because they're victim of the same society we are that's forcing us to feel this way about ourselves exactly yeah i've i mean i struggled with body image issues in my dance days not to a point of like being unhealthy or doing anything like to hurt myself but it was always in my head that i needed to have a certain body but i was always so insecure about how small i was i wanted boobs i wanted hips and all these things and now I'm actually if I really a therapist to talk about this when I

really go deep into my fears of going back on TV for dancing with the stars I'm like I am so nervous to go into another spiral of body image or you know being in these dance costumes being back in the dance studio having these thoughts come back of body image like it's it's so hard that even no matter what age you are that can come creeping back as much self-work as you do. But I've discovered that that's because I know people are going to be commenting on my body. Well, it definitely can be. I think, well, two things. Obviously, so I followed you. So I know that dancing is your dream. And so I think the cool approach is like, what a great opportunity for me to try this again and have all the tools and experience I have and handle this scrutiny differently because I'm stronger.

You sound like my therapist. Oh, is that what she said? You said, look at all the tools you have now. Look at how hard you have worked on yourself and know the importance. And she goes, and now you get to dance again with this, like, beautiful mindset and a more mature approach. Yes. Yes. Oh, my God.

That's so funny. And that's like, I wish I could go back and do one more, like, conference game or season of volleyball, knowing what I know now. And so it's really cool that you have that opportunity. And that's so funny that she said that. My friends will joke, like, I'm a therapist. and so that means a lot. I mean, you are, I mean, you know, everyone uses the term influencer on, on Instagram

and everything, but you do influence people and you do have like, you know, the mindset of a therapist because you want to help other people through your experience. And I just love that about your Instagram. I think that's awesome. And you got a TED Talk. Like, how cool is that to add to your resume? That was wild for sure. Yeah.

I sometimes when I'm feeling super lazy tell me if you do this I'm not the only one if I'm feeling super lazy you're like I've accomplished nothing and I'm just a lazy human I'm like I did that thing once I'm kidding me I do that all the time you're like fucking like one accomplishment you're like okay I don't have to do anything for the rest of the month because I did this one thing one time every every Sunday I am genuinely a piece of shit human on Sundays and I'm like totally okay with it and like through the day and then by the end of there I'm like should I have done something and then I just think about certain things that I've done. You're like, how was The Bachelor at? We're cool. Yeah, we're going to be okay. We're going

to be okay. That's funny. I do that. Yeah, Ted Talk's huge. That's cool that obviously people think other people need to hear your voice. All right, let's take a break. I hope you guys agree that we definitely deserve to know what we're putting in and on our beautiful bods. And that's why Ritual's founder is on a mission to reinvent the vitamin industry. Ritual left out mystery additives, synthetic fillers, and shady extras that can be found in some traditional multivitamins that none of us want to put in our bodies. And they're committed to showing you their nutrients where it came from and why they chose it. They like to call it traceability. I'm going to be dancing a little butt off in the near future and I need to feel good

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operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario to start your ritual today we'll be right back with more off divine grape therapy hey you guys it's sophia and sistine stillow and we are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast unwax i know what you're probably thinking and no we are not waxing our kitties but we are bearing it all so join us each week as we discuss adulting what's that single life tragic and of course give you our unsolicited advice while bringing our exciting guests to join the chaos.

We are unfiltered, unapologetic, and unbelievably unwaxed. Yes, damn, that is the most clever thing we've come up with. So be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Podcasts1.com, and join us every Tuesday to listen to the best content the internet has to offer. Now back to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. I wanted to know, like, what do you do actively? because self-love and working on body image and mental health is a daily practice. It's something that you have to wake up and be aware of.

I mean, I talk about my hormonal depression and it's like it's still, it's not like every other day. I'm like, okay, here we go. I still have to work through, you know, self-love and practice certain things with my image and things that I struggle with. But what do you do on a daily basis to practice that for yourself? well something i've been stepping into and realizing is self-love is obviously in a cool way it's like the trend now right like we've flipped the switch and we all want to have self-love and we see self-love being preached to us and i think we kind of internalize that is i have to love myself every single day and that's a really hard thing to do i don't even love myself every day yeah and so i think

something that i work on is like in the moment of in times where I'm not feeling super great about my body or the jeans are tight or I feel bloated or I don't like what I ate and I already ate it. In those moments, it's like when you get to practice the self-love and usually I'll be like, okay, this is something that's been really hard for me for a really long time. So I understand why these thoughts are surfacing and why I'm getting triggered by this or I feel like crawling into a ball and I'm just going to be really nice and compassionate with myself right now. I don't have to be super happy. I don't have to love myself, but I'm just going to be compassionate and understand why these emotions are here.

And I'm not going to judge them. And hopefully in 30 minutes or an hour, they pass by. And that's kind of been my motto and what's helped me in dealing with those moments. That's cool. And that works for you. Yeah, it works for me. Obviously, there's a lot of things I've changed about my lifestyle that support me having a positive body image like I don't wake up and look in a full body mirror for 10 minutes like I put on my outfit I make sure it feels right maybe I'll glance at the mirror for colors to make sure it matches but I'm not about to let myself stand in front of a mirror and look myself up and down for 10 minutes and say negative things I did that in locker room for four years and volleyball team like so it's like that and then what we talked about with

making sure your Instagram feeds are clean and supportive. And then also like the people I surround myself with, what are they talking about? Are they inspiring me and we're talking about great things? Are they talking about what they're not eating and how we all should go on a diet together? And so all of those things I've integrated step by step, which allow me to have a better environment to practice these little things. I love that you said that. It's, I was so lucky through my whole life to surround myself with really great people.

and I actually always try and credit some of my best friends for where I am today. And they're like, no, it's all you. And I'm like, no, but really, because they impacted me in such a positive way through 20s. I don't know what I would have done without some of my best friends or the family that I had. And it really is important. And sometimes people think, like, you know, if they go through troubles with their family or their friends, you can make your own family. And you can choose the people that want to support you and build you up because there's many people out there that will do that. And I always love them people. I forgot about that until you

just said it. But it's the most important thing is to also surround yourself with people that are not talking about, you know, what diet are we going to go on? Or like, how do we get this? Like, it's, it's people who are inspiring. Yeah. I'll actually share like a really dope nipsy hustle quote I came across recently. And it said, if you look around your circle of friends and you're not inspired, you don't have a circle. You have a cage. and I feel like I've been in situations where it was a cage and you have to like really work on knowing who's good for your life and who's not and maybe who's not what you thought they were and who is totally different than what you thought they were yeah that's I like that saying a lot

yeah it's dope I'm like I'm like whoa sometimes you're called you're like I got to sit in silence for a sec yeah my mom sends me quotes like every day of every week and there'll be like one in there a month where I'm like, dang. It's so true. I'm like, you got to filter out the mom DMs. Like, I get like 10 a day from my mom. But every once in time, I'm like, that was funny, ma. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Good one. Mom. That's so funny. Yeah. My mom's clothes are like, dance with your heart and your feet will follow. Yeah. One time, this is so savage. My mom, like, sent inspirational quotes to our family group chat. And my brother one time sent her quote bag that was like, it was something like,

instead of reading and sending motivational quotes, like, go actually live it. And I was like, I was like, I wouldn't send. It was so funny because it was just like, so true. But I was like, I'm such a mirror message person. So I'm like, don't hate all my quotes. I have them all over my room. Oh, I have mirror quotes everywhere. That's amazing. Okay. I wanted to ask you a couple questions from listeners. But before we do that, it's that time of the podcast where you have to confess something to me. I've been thinking about this for a while. I'm like, where can I go with this?

There's so many things to confess. I'm trying to mix the humor and the realness with this confession. So when I really struggled with binge eating, I ended up telling my mom about it. And she, I like, it was nothing. I just kind of told her what was going on. And I felt good that she knew and she was in on it. And it wasn't just me by myself. And then the next time I saw my mom, she gave me this book.

And first of all, the book was titled Breaking Free from Emotional Eating. So that's just like, whoa, mom. Like, we're really putting the nail on the head with this title. And as much as I wanted to read this book, I was so embarrassed. So I duct taped the cover of the book. And then like for that season on my volleyball trips in the airports, I was just reading this duct taped book. and people ask me when I was like, oh, this is old book I had, like, I don't know, big stories.

But yeah, my confession is I duct taped my first self-help book, so no one could see I was getting self-help book. That's so, and now would you duct tape your self-help book? Oh, never. That's like my, I love that book. It's called Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Janine Roth. And now it's like my whole world is out there. So it's just funny that I was so insecure and now I'm not.

So it just goes to show you can blow up. Isn't that funny that like, if you just work on, like, how long? ago was that oh that was my like sophomore fall so i think i was like 19 now i'm 23 okay so like four years ago and it's it's i always want people to know like four years can go by so quickly and so much can happen in who you are in four years so like some people think it's always oh i don't want to start that now like whatever it's too late for that and then four years go by and you're like why the hell didn't i do the thing that I was singing about four years ago. So I always try to tell me, like, start now.

Yeah, yeah. But every time is that you want to do, whatever it is, if you want to start journaling or start exercising or start, like, caring about what, like, what you read, what you put out onto the internet, like, whatever it is. Like, start now. A great piece of advice I once got on that same point you just made is, if your first draft is perfect, you started too late. Like, your first draft should not be good.

It should not be what you're most capable of. It should not be the best thing you've ever put out. Like, even talking about, like, for example, you started a podcast. I have a podcast too. My first episode, the title was different. The cover was different, but you just got to go. And then you can fix along the way. Yeah, that's, yeah, tell me about your podcast.

It's called RealPod. Once again, bring it in the realness. And yeah, I just kind of host conversations just like this, where you can feel comforted and destigmatizing things and normalizing them. Like, I don't like when mental health has to be. some really serious like let's all get sad about it like we all experience tough times so I just want to make it a normal conversation we have so yeah it's called that that's great well and can people find that anywhere that you yeah it's it's on iTunes and Spotify and Apple podcast that's good for you

and okay I wanted to talk about also um this organization you founded the hidden opponent same name as your TED Talk, if anyone wants to watch that. So it's an organization created to raise awareness for student athlete mental health and make an effort to de-stigmatize mental health, especially for people in athletics. So I would love if you talked about that organization because that's so powerful. And it's also was a partner of Kobe Bryant, right? Yes, and his most recent novel, Gies Aren't Ever Swans, which is so incredible.

I, after delivering the TED Talk and then continuing to kind of, of advocate for mental health, just realized how many student athletes also are going through something and have their own stories to tell. And so in founding the hidden opponent community, I was just hoping to kind of amplify those voices. And our Instagram page just has a variety of stories from all different types of athletes, all different types of mental health issues, bringing them to the forefront and just supporting and raising awareness for that. And the new book that just came out with Grinidad and Kobe is incredible. It's called Geyser Never Swans, and it's about a young swimmer who is struggling with mental health

and also the grief of losing his older brother to suicide. So it dives really deep into these issues. And it's also just so incredible that Kobe Bryant is the one who created the story because he's such an iconist. Legacy is so amazing for him to put his name and validate and support this movement is everything. So we're really grateful to be partnered with the book. And I recommend it to everyone. It's a great read.

Wow. That's incredible because like you said, he is such a legend, obviously, and he's tough times and people judging and watching and making mistakes. But he came out, like he did leave such a legacy of, you know, what he stood for and what he practiced and how he was a father and everything. So that's really cool that you get to be a part of. Did you ever meet him? Yeah. We were able to start meeting and talking. And I was. grateful to go meet him at his office and talk about the hidden opponent and this book. And that's kind of how the partnership came about. But I think just on what you said, like, because he's known for his toughness and his incredible career and all those things, for him to include this in his legacy and his conversation is so powerful. And just thinking of the Victoria, who was really depressed and struggling with all this

when I was an athlete, like to know that one of the greatest athletes of all time understood what this is and said it's okay to seek help. I mean, it just will, I believe it will save many lives. And so it's very cool that he created this and to have a tiny, tiny little part in it with the hidden opponent team. When does that book come out? It is out already. I thought I heard you say when it comes out or something. Oh, no, my bad. If I said that, yeah, it's already out. It's been a few weeks. It came out on the 21st. So it's great. And I recommend everyone get themselves a copy, especially if you're an athlete. Yeah, that's great.

That's, I mean, I, one of my ex-boyfriends was an athlete, and I remember talking, having this conversation with him about how they are taught from such a young age to just deal with whatever, like pain, physical or mental, you just have to, you know, put it away and get out there and do what you're supposed to do, and that's your job. And it's just like, it's crazy how long it's taken for that to start to see. a shift, you know? Yeah, that's athletic culture. You're just told, like, sack up and get out there, like be clutch or figure it out or just get it done. Oh, no excuses. I mean, that's like the biggest one we all feared. And it's like, what if my excuse is literal mental illness? Like how, you know,

so I think it's great. And we're seeing so many athletes these days along with Kobe do this, but especially for him, it's really incredible. Yeah, that's amazing. Okay, so a couple questions from listeners, Kate Karp said, what is the best way to teach kids to love their bodies from an early age? I mean, obviously, you're not a mom, but do you have suggestions for that because you were a kid? Yeah, I definitely do. I think the biggest thing is for parents or the people around the kids to be cautious of how they talk about food and what we're eating. And it's funny because some moms will say like, oh, but I never told my kid to lose weight. And it's like, okay, you might have not told your kid to lose weight, but did you stand in front of a

a mirror in front of your kid and tell yourself, oh, I got to go on a diet or say things badly about yourself because your kid's looking at you thinking, mommy's beautiful and mommy doesn't look good. Well, then I must not look good. So I think just being super cautious about how you talk about those things. That's so true. It's all about how you talk to yourself like in every one of the conversations, right? Annie Magnuson says, how have you developed a better relationship with food and eating over the years? My relationship with food has been wild, but currently I practice intuitive eating. And it's one of the best things I've come across. It is, I think, the best way I could possibly eat. And people even joke that if there was

no diet culture, intuitive eating would just be called eating. Because what it is, is listening to your body, eating what your body needs will nourish you, make you feel good, and stopping when you're full. And it just comes from listening to yourself. And so to anyone curious at that, I recommend you looking up intuitive eating and checking out that practice. It's starting to hopefully become more popular than keto and all those things. So intuitive eating is the way I go and it's my favorite and I recommend that. Intuitive eating is so important. I learned that from my last health and wellness coach and I've always tried to practice that as well. And you know what? I've had a couple of people on the podcast that have also talked about that and I feel like it's coming up more

and more. So we love to hear that. I really like this question for you. This is a teacher. She said, how can I make sure my athletes and students feel comfortable with themselves? Yeah, this is a great one, especially knowing like a teacher and someone in authority asked this because sometimes, unfortunately, we hear about coaches and those trainers saying to their players, you to look a certain way, you to lose weight. I think just emphasizing that we want to be strong, we want to nourish,

like it's about how we play and perform as opposed to how we look in our uniform. form. And that's something that took me a long time to learn is it's more important what I'm doing on the court than how I look on the court. If I wanted to be in a fashion show, I would have done something else. But I'm here to play volleyball. And it's not about high look. It's about high play. Right. That's so true. And like even, even, I mean, obviously male athletes struggle with mental health too because, and maybe it is body image. I'm sure it does. It's just not as open or not as known. But they struggle with it in other ways. in the sense where they're not allowed to show emotion,

you know, be weak, and that to them is talking about how they feel or having an off day. And it's just so crazy that, like, I think teachers should be able to sit, they should be able to see it or sense it like something's off and be able to like a conversation about it. Like, what's really bothering you? Would that have helped you if a teacher just had sat you down and asked? I think it would have helped me to know that my coach or teacher

would not have treated me differently because of what I was going through. When you're not in power, like when someone else decides if you're going to play or not, like take that as an example. Like, for example, think about dance. Like, when the person who decides you're going to be in the front of the line or the back of the room, like you want that person to think you're equipped, smart, and the best you can be. And so I just feared saying, I'm not well because I didn't want that to affect my playing time.

So I think, yeah, it's big for the coaches to say, I'm not going to treat you differently if you're struggling. Yeah, absolutely. That's amazing. Thank you so much for having this conversation with me and being on the podcast. And it's a subject that I always find myself loving to talk about and I get passionate about it because, one, I've struggled myself and two have come a long way and love to hear other people's progress and how they're made as well.

Thank you. I really appreciate you having me. Your TED Talk, read the book, do all of the things. Is there anything else we missed? No, this was awesome. Thanks so much. And if anyone's interested, yeah, they can check on my Instagram. It's just Victoria Garrick. Perfect. Thank you so much. I really appreciate having you on, and I hope you have a fabulous week. Thanks, Caitlin. Okay. Bye. Bye. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday. Stay exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.