Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Wedding Plans & The Bachelorette(s) with Jason Tartick

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

Mr. Jason Tartick is joining his beautiful-eared fiancé for a long overdue pod reunion to talk about all things wedding, life, and of course, this week's episode of The Bachelorette. Right off the bat, the two address the recent headlines claiming they’ve postponed their wedding. What's the truth? Well, they will tell ya! They also take a moment to catch the incredible Vinos up on their current wedding plans and to discuss their favorite parts of other peoples’ weddings that they've been to recently. Then, they dive into their thoughts on The Bachelorette(s) which includes an interesting conspiracy theory, an analysis of which guy looks like Shrek, and the pros and cons of having marijuana on set. But wait, there's more! The two of them share their safe words, and Jason comes up with a brilliant Bachelor-themed version of Big Brother… Would you tune in? Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: HYUNDAI - Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com .  HELIX - Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/vine.  PROGRESSIVE - Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. VIZZY - Go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/VINE to find Vizzy near you.  APARTMENTS.COM - The place to find a place. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's time for Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Welcome to your weekly session. Caitlin and friends are here to share unfiltered advice, lots of laughs, and some major breakthroughs. So put your feet up, pop a cork, and get ready for some grape therapy. All right, Mr. Tardek, welcome to grape therapy. Well, Miss Caitlin Bristol, thank you so much for having me. It's always a pleasure. Always a freak of place. It's been a while, actually.

I was just thinking that, too. I was like, no wonder the breakup rumors are swirling. We're postponing the wedding. We're not podcasting together. Can we just address that right off the piggity bat? Get into it. Well, first of all, the vinos have missed you. Well, I miss the vinos.

I love seeing them. So we've been traveling. I've been traveling a lot lately. And anytime I travel with or without you, and I'm stopped, it's a vino. And I will tell you, they are the nicest, kindest, sweet as humans. And boy, do they have so many amazing things to say about you. Somebody cacawed at me today, and it took me a second, because I know I said on one podcast, like, I want people to, kaka, kaka, if they see me.

Is that a new thing? No, no, no. It was quite a while ago. And I just kind of forgot because nobody's going to kaka like in the middle of an airport. But today we were in the Target parking lot and somebody went, kaka! And I was like, ha ha. Oh, wait, kaka! Yeah.

Kaka! It is so funny that the person who literally despises birds has built her entire businesses around it and community. Yeah, you know, remember the sweaters I made called I Am Donna? Wait a second. No. What? There was a woman named Donna who just tore me a new asshole. She hated me.

And she went, I am Donna. And I was like, oh, that's funny. And so I made sweaters that say, I am Donna. And she was a troll. And it was one of my favorite moments. I love it. So I just take things I don't like like trolls and birds. Oh.

And you make them. And I spin zone it. And I spin zone it and I pair it with something that I love like wine. And then it doesn't make me hate it as much. It's like the perfect love-hate relationship. Yeah. Nice. I'm f*** up.

What's wrong with my brain? Anyways, how many flights do you think we've been on this summer? Wait, you can't start a podcast with an outrageous line like, let's get a new breakup rumors and leave the listeners hanging and not even talk about it. Don't tell me how I can and can't start a podcast. There is no. Okay, listeners. It's called a teaser. Tell me you weren't like, wait, what happened?

No, it's a teaser. We'll get into that later. Then you make the people listen. They have to go through our stuff and we talk about it. But what if we forgot? Okay, let's talk about it. No, let's go. Whatever tease way.

I mean, people always speculate if we're not together 24-7 or if the wedding isn't happening as fast as they think it should because apparently it's not our timeline. It's theirs. And then media spins our words. And I heard Kristen Cavaleri talking about this on a podcast, too. She was like, she was, I'm. just not going to say anything anymore. I'm not going to do these magazines a favor. I'm not going to say anything because it gets twisted. And I was like, yeah, I really didn't say our wedding was postponed.

I said, we can't agree on a venue, which the one we did agree on was open. And then remember our wedding planner was like, I know this is crazy, but they called us back and said they made a horrible mistake and that the venue's booked. Yeah. Okay. A few things. So first of all, yeah, that's the job of these headline, these media companies, right? They have to generate. click, clicks generate their revenue, so they have to take whatever they can do to drive clicks. That's one. Two, I haven't seen that interview, and I haven't read anything on it, but postponed is an outrageous comment because there was nothing booked. He kept postpone something that wasn't booked in the first place.

Sure. We looked at New Year's Eve. It was booked. And the true reality of the whole situation for like a real update is that this is not Caitlin's fault. This is not Jason's fault. It's both of our faults. This is two people, I was just going to say that, that have just been super, super busy this summer, moving 100 miles an hour. And if we're both taking ownership, which I think we should, we have not made it a priority. Which is so sad. It's so sad.

And I agree with you. And I think that's what like those are things that we're working as. Like we've talked at length about having better work life balance, being home more. We talked about like maybe carving out weekends a month or two. before where we can do stuff. We've talked about, like, these are conversations in the last couple of weeks, by the way. We've talked about, like, carving out a date night, one night a week that we're going to do a date night.

Caitlin's reaction, Caitlin's reaction that was. Well, be honest, what was your, what's not looking bad? You're actually, I think I want to defend your react. Tell what your reaction was, and then I'm going to defend it to make you not look bad. Well, because can I defend it too? Yeah, we can both defend it. Because my immediate reaction was like, you said, I. That sounds like a lot.

Oh, that sounds like a lot of work. Okay, I thought you said a lot just like with your schedule, literally one date night a week is a lot. I think that it was a true reaction, not to be rude or to be a jerk, but you're just like, you're thinking about your schedule. You're like, wait, that is a lot. That sounds like a lot. Right.

Because I was like, well, we're already so busy that scheduling and something else in a week, I'm like, I would like to sometimes a date night could also just be just us laying on the couch. but the thing that we need to do if we're just sitting on the couch is not be on our phones and scrolling and working and doing all the stupid shit. Like, we should actually put down our phones and be present with one another. A hundred percent. Because even when we play cards or Mario Kart or have a date night, we're both on our phones

and have to respond to so many people or catch up on this. And it's, I don't know, I'm just so, I'm so sick of life flying by. and then looking back on it, say, God, why am I not doing this? Why am I not doing this? Why am I doing this? And it's like, I have a reason for it because I love what I do. You love what you do. We love to work. It's things that I'm proud of. You're proud of. And so our relationship somehow gets put on the back burner, which is also a problem. But I think this is like, this isn't like this earth shattering thing like no one can relate to. We have, we haven't, especially this. summer probably honestly a lot of 2020 right your tour my book i think the i think the i think this summer this summer has been even crazier because of covid there's more personal and family obligations that are live because we're making up for mistime there's more weddings that we have to be at because of mistime and rescheduling and also with work stuff the live aspect is increased drastically

2022 we just haven't made like and it's sad like I'm sad saying this but we haven't made one another a priority we've owned that this isn't anything or anybody dragging their feet this is just we haven't made a priority we are we're both dragging our feet do you think it's dragging your feet or we just haven't stepped up and like take it like that's dragging your feet I think it's like compartmentalizing and moving in one direction saying you got to hit the brakes Wait, what is your definition of dragging your feet? I think about when I think about dragging your feet, like I'll give an example, dragging my feet. Like I went to the doctor the other day and the guy was like, we got to do blood work.

And dragging my feet is, I know I have to do it, but like I'm dreading it. Like I need to set up my own appointment to get the blood work. Except like mentally prepared. I'm embarrassing. I know. It's like you're dreading it. We're not dreading it. We just haven't made it a priority.

Hi, Pino. Dragging your feet is being reluctant. And I don't think it's that. I think it's that life is like we've prioritized other things this year, right? And that's wrong. And that is got to rebalance. And I think we both have acknowledged that, right? Yeah.

So what should we commit to? I don't know. That's too much pressure to put it on a podcast because then everyone's going to be like holding me accountable. And I can't handle that kind of pressure. What should we commit to? Let's commit to something. I mean, we've done little things when it comes to weddings, like talked about what we don't want, what we do want. But we know, like, so we know we're going to work with a planner, but we haven't even engaged our planner, right?

That's not making it a priority. It's like, we haven't even had the conversation. So it's not like, it's like, oh, I prefer this and this and where there's a stalemate. It's like, we just haven't put that we have to like. I mean, I have a pretty fucking cool storefront on Amazon for wedding stuff that I've looked through that I'm like, I actually love this. Ooh, I love this because it makes it personal for the wedding day. Well, what is one thing we could commit to to to make this priority? I think that we should, I think we got to get organized.

We're not organized. We're very unorganized. We were just with a couple this past weekend that they know every single, and then this is like a little wild, but every weekend until, what was it, the end of 2023. Well, that's his job. Yeah, but we don't know like, and like our schedules and shit is like, it's just a mess. But I think it's what we prioritize to take trips for. Well, like even September, I didn't even know, like you just said you're going to, I don't know, like, okay. So I just found out about some things in September that were in conversation. I didn't even know about it. Like, I feel like we just need to get organized. Because I don't have the exact dates and it's the most exciting thing in my career so far that I can't announce just yet. It's another one of those teases. We got to wait till the end.

I can't even announce it yet. I'm too excited. But that's something that's a top priority. Of course. It's something I've worked my whole career for and life for. And it's only going to be like a certain amount of time. Okay, so what are we going to do? Let's ask for advice from people. I think what we should do is just... Everyone's going to listen to be like, these are not relatable problems, you guys. Plan a wedding. It's not that hard.

Especially if you have a wedding planner. I think it's relatable to let life like pass, especially in this time when like the way things have come back, then life is taking, like not making yourself your relationship and your personal life a priority, I think is relatable. going on a Dancing with a Stars tour for three months, not relatable. Going to a book launch thing, not relatable. We've had these like, it's been one of the best work years for us,

but that doesn't mean, it means we, I don't know, you just have to reshift things. Yeah, that's what's coming up in the fall for you. Again, it's another monumental thing, but these monumental things, I think we have to, I don't know, like, well in advance, like no matter what it is, like block time off. and commit to it.

Yeah. When we do block off time, it's so hard because then something comes up that's like such a huge opportunity and then just feels like that's always like, well, why wouldn't I do that? I think the thing is we like when we take it like, especially like we just went to a wedding and we sit there. We're talking about our wedding, talking about what kids in our future building. We get like so excited about it. And then you get back to, like today happens.

And we're back in it and, you know, this, this of this. and I had this, this, and this. And it's just like, it's not going to slow down until we slow it down together, like, as one. But we, okay. Together. Yes, because people have this perpetuated misogyny where they always think it's just me, but we both do it. And people are always like, Caitlin just wants the limelight too much.

And I'm like, what? That's literally the last thing I want. I want to create growth in my businesses and, like, make it so that I can have babies and be home. And, like, I don't, I just get so annoyed when I'm, like, blamed for working, but we both do it so often. I think you're just sensitive to it because it's not, I get blamed and stuff too. It's no, it's, it's, it's, it's our fault. It's our. And we're taking, I think we have, in the last few weeks, especially, have taken ownership and we need to work on it and we want to work on it.

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grape therapy is brought to you by progressive insurance. And as you know, because you listen to this podcast, you all know that you're probably multitasking right now. While you're you're listening to me talk, you might be driving or cleaning or exercising or maybe grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there is something else you can be doing right now. And that's getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's so easy, you guys, and you could save money by doing it right from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save over $700 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just

your favorite podcast. Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. So why don't you go ahead, multitask right now, quote your car insurance at progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, National Annual Average Insurance Savings by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2020 and May 2021. Potential savings will very discounts, not available in all states and situations. I don't even want to complain about traveling, because I feel like that's such a first world problem, and I'm sick of complaining about things that are like, oh, I'm sorry, did you go everywhere

in the world and get delayed and, like, miss some flights while you're just living your truth? I don't like it. Okay. Do you agree? Sure. Like, complaining once in a while, because I'm just saying in my notes, I had written about, like, how many flights we've taken and how many craziness we've gone through. And then I've just started thinking, like, it has been really annoying and really frustrating, but also, like, I'm really trying to put things into perspective. And sometimes I'm good at it and sometimes I'm bad.

It's gotten better. There's more personal travel right now than, like, in history. So I think there's a lot of people out there. We had some fun trips. We had to fire island with your family. Fire Island was such a good time. We played cards. We relaxed.

I read a book. It was nice. You know what we've been really good at this week this summer is doing those family trips. Like spending time with our family altogether has been great. Yeah, we need. Like when we've spent time with your family in New York City was amazing. Spend time in Fire Island. We just went to one wedding.

We're going to another wedding. Yeah. Then we had the OTV live show in Toronto, which was so fun. Oh my God. That was such a great. We aired a bit of it, but I had cut out a lot. That was such a great. a great trip.

It was a little too rowdy. As for usual. Really did. We had some bomb-ass dinners. Mademoiselle in Toronto. Oh, my gosh. We're celebrating for Spade and Sparrow's. And yeah, like you said, the wedding.

Now we're going to another wedding. But what is your favorite thing about attending a wedding? My favorite thing about attending a wedding is, especially in a world, like, kind of going back to what we just talked about in a world like post-COVID. and not seeing and spending enough time with the people that matter, like the reunion, like, you know what I mean? Like, there's like, there's even this past, there's people I hadn't seen in five, ten years.

Yeah, I think that's my favorite part too. It's the best. It's like a bunch of people who, the only time in the world you're going to be is for a wedding. And so you just like celebrate love and friendship and dance and like reminisce. Yeah. In the last month I've been due funerals or funeral wedding. And like the celebration is just such a beautiful.

Just, it's amazing. Life. And the contrary, not so much. What is the song? That's guaranteed to get you out on the dance floor on a wedding. And if you say shout, I'm going to poke myself in the eyeballs. It says the girl who jumps on the table and it comes in. That happened one time and I was trying to flirt with you.

It worked. What is my favorite song? I don't know. What's yours? Well, I figured it out this weekend. What? Something with the killers? Baby, when you touch me like this.

Yes, we went nuts to that. Celine Dion. That was the best song of the night. All coming back. The best song of the night. I'm telling you, that's now my go-to wedding song. I slid on my knees. They hurt.

I've got scabs. After being to a wedding this past weekend and coming and we're going to another wedding coming up, what do you think is like one of the most important things, though, for planning the wedding? I think food is very important. Food's important. The flow of the wedding, like, yeah. just the whole flow from start to finish. Keeping the ceremony sweet and shorter and pleasant.

And again, don't beat me up because this is just for me personally, not what I think people should do at their wedding. A sweet, friendly bartender that's setting the mood because the one we just had, there's two. The other one was great. One was a little bitchy.

You almost scrapped with one guy. I just told him he had an attitude. And he admitted he did. He was like, I just was so bloated from all. the soda water. And I was like, can I just have a little less soda? He goes, no. I said, you have a bit of an attitude. He said, I know. And I said, fair enough. You have great conversation. Yeah.

Seems very frank. In the U.S., you guys have a DJ. In Canada, we have an MC. You need to change this trend. This is, guys, if anybody in the United States right now listening, this is a thing I had no idea about. And at first, I was like, that's so weird. And now it is a mandatory thing, I think, that United States needs to pick up. Yeah. An MC. So an MC is your DJ, obviously. Master of ceremonies. Your master ceremonies. But in the United States, we just hire someone and you let him go. But that's not even your friend. You just hire a DJ? Yeah, it's so interesting because this is the person that's introducing your parents, introducing your best man. He's controlling the flow. He's controlling the flow. So it's wild that you put someone that just literally can DJ to do that. And the fact that in Canada, it's the biggest honor, isn't it? Well, it's not the biggest, but it is a huge honor to MC the wedding. They trust you with the whole flow of your wedding. And, and the fact that in Canada, it's the biggest. And, And to, like, make sure people get up and eat at the right time. Make sure they dance.

Make sure they're having fun. Make sure they know your personal connection. Make sure they, like, it's almost they tie the whole wedding together with a little pretty bow. Right. And so I think that's a trend that at first I question and now, especially for being a couple weddings, where the DJ might be talking a little too much. It should definitely be someone you know who does the transitions and the introductions. Anyways, we watch. Who would be our MC?

Oh, I am an emcee for a wedding coming up, Keller. Oh, right. When's that wedding? They don't know. They're kind of the same as us. Okay. So this is a trend. This is like a normal conversation I would have like where she would say that.

And she'd be like, oh, yeah, it's like two weeks. I'd be like, wait, what? And you're like, yeah, it's in my counter. And I just be like, wait, I didn't know. I feel the same way about you. I feel the same way about you. Or you'd be like, okay, I'm going to take ownership instead of pointing finger. Or I'd be like, when is it?

You're like, um, you literally just accepted the invite. I'd be like, I did. Yeah. And you're like, open your counter. I'd be like, oh, shit. My uncle Jim. Uncle Jim. No.

No. I love the guy, but no. I don't know. I don't know. He did that guy and Mike in one of three hundred people. He did it for my, the most dangerous thing of all the time. He did it for my, um, cousin's wedding and it was hilarious because it was the most offside thing of all time.

Um, I don't know. I'd have to think about that. I think Hawk would be a great. Oh, Hawk would be a great. But don't you want them in your wedding party? yeah is that not acceptable no no no it has to be this is a separate role he can't do both that's too much work really yeah no we'll think about it also we watch the bachelorette yes on monday um so let's just do a quick quick little recap of what we think is the cruise ship doing it for you it dropped

him off in amsterdam that's pretty cool i mean i think it's cool the different spots it's nice to see him travel again i thought part of the reason they did the cruise ship was so that they could to like almost ensure, like, really have protocol around the whole COVID thing. And then we saw, I think Morgan got COVID. So I was like, well, that didn't work. We've got some breaking news. Yeah. Logan has COVID.

And he, do you notice he was just gone? Yeah, yeah. banished. Well, I wonder if he spread it through the ship. I wonder if no else gets it. Well, she was just making out with him. Yeah. How did no one else get it?

I don't know. There's got to be more of that story. you were worried about mono on your season I heard I was worried about cold source I was like nobody here no everyone we all get everyone gets tested for that yeah but you could still go on the show if you get cold source I know um okay yeah mono and the flu and I mean we had like you know you're bunked up you got a bunch of people do you think anyone got weed while they're in Amsterdam I did tweet about that because if you had weed in the Bachelorette that is such it's like steroids in baseball that's such an advantage

why because you're just like so hyped up you can't sleep well like you're that's terrible that seems like wait what so hyped up you can't sleep well that's already a problem that's why people are so emotional because they don't sleep well wait that's what I'm saying so like okay steroids and baseball is a huge advantage right so like you're saying advantage to the ratings no no honey like if you okay let's break this down I know you take steroids in baseball I know and it gets you hyped up so I'm saying having weed in the bachelor world that would make I mean either have mega anxiety or sleep. Wait, weed makes you have anxiety?

Some people. Do you? Edibles? No, smoking weed sometimes. Really? Yes. See, for me, I'm saying, you would totally chill me out. You'd be like super relaxed.

But, okay, so if for me, it's a high risk, high reward. Yeah. See, it does get you amped up. Speaking about amped, no, I don't want it. Like in the bachelor, I couldn't sleep. Got it. Got it. I couldn't sleep when I was on the Bachelor at all.

Like, I didn't sleep at all. I slept like a fucking baby. You were made for this shit. I was not. You were bored to be on the LATV. I was the last one into the bunks, into bed every night. And I would just shut my little eyeballs and go to sleep. And then I wake up like a little refreshed daisy.

Little KB. But I will say that, so I thought it would be like the steroids for baseball. But none of these guys are like, you know, other than Tino, Tino might have need a little weed. I was just saying, there's been no drama. There's been no like Jordan Kibble. There's been no chirper. That was the first episode you watched.

Tino, Tino maybe needed a little gongch. You got all worried. He got all worked up. He didn't get the group day rose. He was crying about it. Yeah. Tino needs to be higher than giraffe. What?

And a set of giraffe balls. Oh, Jesus Christ. I mean, what did you think about that? Tito? That was the only thing I really didn't. Like, I bet you the guy's a nice guy. But I cannot stand when a favorite, as a guy that was on the season, is a favorite, who pretty much gets coddled the whole time. No, no, no, I wasn't a favorite.

Yes, you were? No way. Are you kidding me? I was like the underdog. You were a favorite. You were a favorite. Garrett was a favorite. Blake got like everyone on one.

So does Colton. Everyone in one every group date rose. But like you're the guy. People know that you're the guy. They see that you're the guy. You have an unbelievable conversation and you don't get the group date rose and like you're making a big stink about it. because you don't understand the other side of the coin. You don't understand the bachelor's role.

You don't understand that she can't just give it to you every time and make it so obvious. So of course he freaks out because he's like, I'm sitting here thinking I'm the one. Why wouldn't she give it to me when that was the best conversation we've ever had, the best makeout, the best this? And so it gets all in your head. But they were probably like, don't give it to him because he knows he has it in the bag. So you got to make him squirm a little. Well, so like for him, though, like everything's moving great. everything's going well there's still a rose ceremony i don't see why you would like pout about not getting the root day rose

because it's paranoia maybe it's because i never got group day rose maybe he did smoke the ganja and he got paranoia oh okay maybe that's it okay i think that's what it is interesting i'm gonna ask there was another canadian line you dropped on me this past week it was what was the first one uh well the whole mc thing oh yeah and then greening out i never knew that was a thing did you know what that thing was a thing people out there, thines. Greening out. Greening out. Ever heard of it? When you smoke too much weed and you get sick to your tummy. I've never heard of that. Shoots before hoots and you'll puke

on your boots. What shoots? Shooters. Shots. Shots. Shots before hoots. What's a hoot? A joint? A joint or cigarette? Take it a hoot? Cigar. Oh my God. Is that a Canadian thing? A hoot? Taking hoots? Never heard of it. You take hoots of your joint. So Gabby gives her. I love how your crystals here.

Yeah, I got a lot of. of them. This is a Zen, this is a Zen freaking room. This is a feel good room. Have you talked to the moon lately? Always. Yeah. What's new? Talking to the, do, tune, tune, what's new? It's not what's new with the moon. What? It's new with what? Can I, can we talk about The Bachelorette? Sorry, I'm just enjoying this. One last question before we go on. What is this crystal meanings? I've been really feeling connected with it. I'm going to have to look that one up. Okay. I have a crystal Bible from your mom. Okay. Lovely. So, Okay. Gabby gives her one-on-one to Nate to give him the heavy news that she's just not ready to be a mom. And honestly, that was so heartbreaking. She like could not breathe. I felt so bad for her. He was so heartbroken because they had like one of the strongest connections, but she just wasn't ready to be a mom. So I don't know. From what we have seen on TV, they seem like they'd be really good together. That breakup was really hard to watch. Leaving all the, you know, shit going on about Nate on the interwebs. I'm leaving that out of this.

So I'm not up to date on the Nate drama, but I do, I've been thinking about this. And I like that move. I think before hometowns, before putting Nate through that and the whole family, I think that's a really impressive move. And not an easy one, as you could tell. Yeah. Why don't they just do a Zoom date for, like, time is of the essence. It is, time is so valuable in this show, but he tests positive for COVID and they can't

set up a Zoom date like we all had to do over the last couple years. Or like a socially distanced date? Yeah. Like each guy gets some time. No one steals anyone's time. Bada boom. Bada bang. They did get the Red Light District date, though.

Is that something you would like to do? Do you have a safe? No, we don't do that. Safe word? Mine's muskrat. Just kidding. That's from... You're just a muskrat?

We've never done the whip thing. No! That's from wedding crashers. The safe word is muskrat. Last time we talked about sex is the role play thing. Oh, that got me in trouble. I'm not going there anymore. Well, what's your safe word?

We don't have safe words. I wish I was that, kingy. I'd be like, I'd be like, uh-uh, or like, what? I would just be like, please don't. Yeah, why does there need to be a safe? Oh, that's. Oh. Oh.

Why does there need to be? I think that's yours. I think yours is, you don't even, oh, yeah, that's like here. But why does there have to be a safe word? Why can't you just communicate like, hey, this is making me uncomfortable. Let's move on. Well, you could have a nice formal. Jason Tartick corporate saying

when you're in the middle of having like if it made me uncomfortable or if it was going too far I would just. Caitlin you would never just be like excuse me ding dong my name's Caitlin Bristol

you think I'm gonna say peanut butter or muskrat instead Albuquerque yeah we're gonna say Albuquerque I think yours is you know when you just go you know and you just did that

so I know that's like a sign when you do that you're like what I did is not right like suppose I'm no my when you do that I go no No, no. But like, suppose I do something that you're just like embarrassed by, you're like, oh, my God, what are you doing?

You'll go, oh, oh, I don't know. I might say, oh, boy. Did you notice that Spencer, this is a complete side note? Yeah. Spencer looks like Shrek to the human version. I mean, that's tough. No, it's not. He's handsome as Shrek the human version, not Shrek the monster.

Oh, oh. I'm saying, geez, Kate, you're just throwing daggers out here in there. No, no, no, no. Look it. I'm going to show you. You look very pretty. I do? Mm-hmm.

Your hair looks phenomenal, too. I don't know if it's this new light or both the flow looks. No, Jason, it's because I had three hours of glam for a photo shoot tonight, so you think I look pretty with fake hair. No, you always look. Everything. You have beautifies, but that's not, do you have fake hair? It's a fake pony. Oh, shit.

Yeah, this thing. This whole thing? Oh. Oh, my. I would. I can step that on camera. Oh, my God, that's like a magic tree. If a horse fly flew in here, my pony would do this.

Oh, my God. Okay, and so this is all you're real hair. Your real hair looks amazing. That was funny, though. That was funny. I'm going to put it on Instagram so people can see what we just experienced. Oh, my God. Pino's breath is atrocious.

Okay, I know. So everybody listening, Google Shrek 2 as a human. Oh, my God. Is that not him? I see it. I totally see it. Okay. Okay, I'm going to make an obvious statement here.

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I don't know. But what do you think? Do you think they just told them? Of course they have to tell him at some point. But he just came in and he was like, there's been an issue. Logan is gone. What do you say? I don't remember.

Logan has COVID-19. No, he didn't say it. He didn't tell the guys. Oh, he told her, though. Yeah, but he walked in and didn't tell the whole guys that I've been around him. Oh, right. Yeah. I think producers probably just told them after.

So there could be a lot of things here. There could be like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's a conspiracy theory out there, though. What's that? How do you know all this? All these little ins and outs.

Because I do research for a podcast. There is a conspiracy theory out there that this is not factual. I repeat, not factual. Allegedly, Logan didn't really have COVID. Basically because Jesse told Gabby in person and then he told the guys in person. so they all had contact, but there was no protocol or any COVID procedures shown. So why would they, why would you think they would kick him out? I don't know.

Is he just gone? I feel like they said he had COVID. He's just thrown off the ship. What if the other guys have COVID? But how do they not? How does nobody get COVID from him? Like what happened to the clip where Jesse tells him to pack his bags from the previews? There is a clip of Jesse telling Logan to pack his bags.

I'm sure that was that. I wonder if something else happened. Yeah, I don't know. Can you get Logan on the pod? Probably not. You think, if he's under contract, you think they're going to let me have them to ask these questions? No. Well, let's keep doing research then.

Okay. Logan, give us a sign. You baby back, bitch. It wasn't what I'm who called him. Oh, yeah, that's Tino. A baby back, bitch. Oh, yeah. Tito just looks exhausted.

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back. Bribes. Bitch. Bitch. What's that from? I want my baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. If you think I'm, of course, do you want to put money on that, of course, I know that's all the powers. It's honestly like one of the four movie lines I know.

Yeah. Okay. Do we think Ethan and Spencer will be in Paradise because I do? Yes. 100%. I'm so excited for Paradise. Are you? I am excited for Paradise.

It's always good. I don't know why. It's always good. That's why. It's always good. Has there been a villain? There hasn't been a villain this season, no? Yeah, there has.

You can't say. this you literally watch for the first time on one day i feel like there wasn't enough drama i wanted more drama okay and you know what you're part of the problem you're part of the problem what problem because the people because the people i have just because the people who say they want more drama are the people who are like when the drama happens are like this is too much drama what's great this show's stupid and then you want the draw it's you there's no pleasing you okay i want more What is that from? I like, no, I will say, like, I always like the shit starters.

Like, I like the people that do all the chirping. I think it's amazing. Okay. No? Then there's no pleasing you. What's this? Oh, well. Then there is no pleasing you.

What's that from? Is it? Oh, it's gold power. It's literally awesome powers. The movie you just quoted. The gold guy. Then there is no pleasing you. Mr. Powers.

No. Gold slugger. Gold member. Gold member. Wow. What a classic. Have you been watching Big Brother? Yes.

I need to get on top of my Big Brother. Oh my gosh. It's getting good. I haven't watched it all and I'm very upset by it. I love Big Brother. I hope I can get like the winners or the top three on the pot. Now tell me this. Tell me this.

Because I've tweeted about this. Why would they not do like a Big Brother and put like, imagine the shit show that you could have? Like all the exes? Why don't you like this? Should you be a bachelor producer? You could have the like, imagine like, like, they're competing against the exes and there's like the top two and then there's like shit talking to his alliances. Would you go on it?

I would love to. Oh my God. What is wrong with you? That gives me severe anxiety. A big brother? Against a bunch of, big brother. Oh, yeah, me, you, Sean Booth, Nick Vile, Becca, Cooffron. Oh, that would be great.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That I would rather chew glass. I think it would be such good television. No. I would rather do a lot of... And you get like a bunch of seasons. Oh my gosh.

I would rather just sit in my crystal room. What if you had, okay, what if you had Big Brother with all the former Bachelorettes and you guys, the Bachelorettes had to like, you guys had to L.I. I don't want drama. I don't, I love those ladies and I'm done with that. I want empowering shows. I want things that make me feel good. Okay. Anyway, speaking of Twitter, didn't you just say something about Twitter?

I mean, I really only go on Twitter when it's batch season, but I think there is some good shit on there, don't you think? Like the tweets that come out of it? I mean, the tweets are involved. I saved a few tweets that I like to sum up this week's episode. Are you ready? Trina Waters, when this season was marketed as double of everything, but really it's just half of everything. The batch babe said, Logan, after realizing he has no intention of pursuing Gabby, but still wants to preserve himself. for paradise

I'm sick that's good Lindsay underscore as all I know about Ethan in week six is that he is lactose intolerant and I love him love that that's it

that's a good one you know what my favorite one was that I said what oh God Trent should have been and always should be the baggage guy oh Barstil Trent

yeah I think it was Louis what producer louis i think or i think so louis what i thought it was louis you're doing that thing where you think in your head but you don't give it context um the baggage guy didn't i just louis came in and got the bag i swear i think you got to run it back really run it back oh my god but how did anyone listening know what you're just talking about there i don't know uh speaking of that i watched a clip the other day of oh my god i don't know if it was like jimmy kimmel you I was Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Kimmel or some of, there were two people from the show playing ping pong against two random guys, okay?

Guillermo was playing with shit. He was playing with a celebrity and they're like. Was it Will Ferrell? No, no. But it was him and someone else. And they're like, you know, they announced them like, it's him and him versus the other guys. It's just literally said, random guys or something like that. Wells was one of the random guys.

that's weird because Sarah Highland was just on Jimmy Fallon and they like pulled up a whole like text conversation between him and Wells and then they posted on the Jimmy Fallon page on Instagram saying Wells Adams blah blah so that's weird yeah they literally used him as like the other guy no was him and some other guy I had no idea the other person was was it Nick wow no interesting why do you think this is a funny caption or do you think that why would you think it's Nick because that's what he was called on my season the other guy Oh, uh-uh, things I don't know. Nor do I want to know. Do you think this is a funny caption? I have a really beautiful picture of me in a vineyard on a blanket, having a bottle of wine and some cheese and bread. Do you think it's funny or maybe it would have been funny six years ago to say picnic, but also don't picnic?

Yeah, I think it's a little late to the party. I think you're late to the party. It's still good. Okay. Well, anyways. Speaking of posting photos, That last photo you posted to me, I look like I'm dying. Oh, see, I thought it was a great photo.

I'm, like, concerned about myself. Like, come on, you really think I look good? Or you just mess up with me? No, I'm not. I truly. Like, you think right there, I look good. I'm starting to get a little confused on, like, the way, what you're attracted to. Like, like, we're just sitting at a table, guys, this past weekend.

But you see, like, look around the table, you know, you're like, you know what you make you so hot if you buzzed your hair and then dyed it blonde? You literally hate when people take things out of context, and that was so out of context. We were talking about worth shaving his head and bleaching it blonde, and I said, I thought you would look hot with that. That's it. Sue me. And wait, you said, if I buzzed my, and everyone questioned you, they're like, what are you talking about? Like, no, literally, if he buzzed your hair and you dyed it blonde.

And what of my buddy said, he said, he was like, really nice. He's like, Jason, don't. do that. It would not look good. Remember? Yeah, I do remember that. How did I take that out of context? Because you said I was just like, out of nowhere, you should shave your head and bleach a blonde. Oh, sorry. Yes. Yes. We were talking about different hair styles. And you thought I would look really good if I would shave my head and bleach. Like, what if I didn't shave my head? You still think if I died of bleach blonde? Can you please just take a look at Zane, Gigi Hadid's X and tell me he has the same dark hair, dark eyebrows, dark features. He shaved his head and bleach it. Tell me that doesn't look good.

he looks fire um so that is just a really good looking human i don't think like i can do anything and he's going to be hot you kidding me look at that that's hot you would look good i don't i'm telling you okay okay well shoot me for thinking you'd look hot anything no but i'm wondering like i don't know all right well can i shave my head and bleed your blonde You can do whatever you are, girl. I don't know about that. I feel like these earrings, too. Thank you.

So nice earrings. I don't know why you're being so, it's because I'm so glammed. I'm so glammed. That's why you think I look so nice. No, Kate, you are, you know, you're a beautiful human. No, you are all, you are a beautiful human, period. Just to be, like, you are, like, actually, that's another thing. When Caitlin got to walk around anywhere, and if someone does, is so nice enough to come up and say hello,

it's literally one of the first things that I say, you are so beautiful. And they're not talking about me. In fact, what they're saying is you're so much prettier in person, which I always don't know how to take. No, you're just taking it like that. No, Jason, that happens. Bree noticed when we were hanging out.

She was like, everyone tells you you're prettier in person. I'm like, I know, I don't know how to take it because that's a compliment. I would rather, I don't want to be a catfish. You're very, very, very good looking human. Wow, thank you. You have great natural features, like model type. Did I just say something stupid? Wait, why?

What did I say? Is that wrong? Botoxin filler. I mean, like your eyes and stuff. Like you just... I mean, yeah. And you got a cute little button nose. I hate my nose.

How can you hate your nose? No, I shouldn't say. I hate it. I just... And you got cute little ears? I have large ears. I mean, don't. Stop me.

I'm not... This is making me uncomfortable, and I just, like, can't, like... Can't what? I don't know because I want to be like, thank you. But then I feel like I have to put myself down. But then I'm like, no, Caitlin, self-worth, self-love. Talk to yourself and say you're beautiful. So you're like, yeah, I do love my ears.

Thank you. They're fucking great. Great ears. Great ears. Great earrings. Great ass. Okay. Thank you for joining the podcast.

Okay. I just want to know what marble this is. Oh, here I'll look it up. Okay. It's purple. Amethyst. Beautiful. And what I take it?

What is purple amethus good for? Over and above the physical properties and benefits of amethyst, this stone's purple color is a natural tranquilizer. It is said to dispel rage, help manage fears, and calm rage and anxiety. Other believed benefits of amethus include the ability to alleviate sadness and grief and dissolving negative energy. Okay, this is insane because I have been having a really, really bad day today. I can remember Kate when I said to you I was like you Caitlin on your way home from your photo shoot

Caitlin said to me do you want to go grab dinner and then we could podcast I was like honestly can you just come home or we could podcast because I just need to go to bed I'm having a really bad day you didn't say I'm having a bad date on text because I would have acknowledged that but when you got back yeah yeah I did yeah I did when you got yeah when you got back I did not yeah just why are you having a bad day I just I just yeah just it seemed like a lot of flout of fires today like constant and it's just like ones that are like really making me upset you So I was, I walked in here and I just grabbed this thing and I can't stop holding it. And I feel so much better during this whole conversation.

It's yours. Thank you. Keep it. Keep it. Okay. Here comes a little. Let's go time lock. Oh my gosh.

Let's go sink our calendars and time block. And by that, do you mean let's play Mario Kart and get stone? Cool. It's just kidding. I'm just kidding. That's probably the problem. Yeah. Yeah, let's plan something or.

Or are we good. No, I'm just kidding. Okay. Thanks for coming down the pod. Yay. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. Thanks for joining us for this week's Great Therapy.

Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform. And tune in Thursday for your next session. All month long, the biggest movies are streaming free on Pluto TV's pop summer movies. Watch star-studded blockbusters like Titanic and Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen, or Fall in Love with charming rom-coms like Hitch and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. The best part? Pluto TV is 100% free. No credit cards, not even a sign-up. Plus, Pluto TV has hundreds of channels with thousands more movies, TV shows, and more. Download the Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming now. Pluto TV. Drop in, watch free.