Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Guys We F*cked: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Krystyna Hutchinson and Corinne Fisher, hosts of the extremely popular podcast Guys We F*cked, are joining KB on the mic today to talk about one of our favorite subjects… sex! Plus, plenty of other important topics such as avoiding burnout, setting boundaries in relationships, and interviewing your exes, which is actually how they started their pod many years back. Krystyna and Corinne are two stand-up comedians who don’t hold back, and they’re definitely being open and honest in today’s episode as they give some sexy advice to the Vinos, share their confessions, and play a little game of “How Do You Proceed?”. Also, some advice for podcast listeners… maybe don’t try to F your favorite hosts’ exes. We’ll explain. Be sure to check out Guys We F*cked to hear more of Krystyna and Corinne!  PELOTON - Visit onepeloton.com to learn more . PROGRESSIVE - Quote at Progressive.com to join the ov er 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. PRIMAL KITCHEN - Find Primal Kitchen in your local grocery store or visit Primalkitchen.com/offthevine to get 20% off your order!  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with eye gaming ontario this week's off the vine is sponsored by peloton visit one peloton.com to learn more and progressive quote at progressive.com to join over 27 million drivers who trust progressive this episode of off the vine is brought to you by primal kitchen they have the most amazing products buffalo sauce mayo ranch so good and all stocked in my pantry and fridge right now find primal kitchen in your local grocery store or visit primalcitchen.com slash off the vine to get 20% off your order. Hey everybody, you're listening to Caitlin Bristow's podcast, Off the Vine.

Take it away, Bree. Wine. Lots of wine. Hey, be on the mic, turn it up. Let's go. Hey, ramen, Pino, ready for the show. Everyone's welcome, so come on in because OTV, it's about to begin. Hey. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow.

Let's talk about sex, baby. I've got the OG sex podcast duo, Corinne Fisher and Christina Hutchinson with me today, and you may know them from their anti-slut-shaming podcast, guys, we fuck. And if you don't know them, well, you will now because these two women are brilliant and hilarious, and they don't sugarcoat anything, and I like it. We dive into our ex-boyfriends, and they provide us with some words of wisdom because they literally are the queens of giving advice. I really enjoy this conversation.

I hope you feel the same at the end of the pod. sure to check me out on their pod because we did a little swapperoonie. Well, hi, nice to meet you both. Thank you for being on the pod. Yeah, thanks for having us. Of course. For people who are listening who don't know who you are, I wanted to give you both a chance to just do a little intro for yourself.

Sure, yeah. We're Santa Comedians. I'm Christina Hutchinson. I'm Corinne Fisher. And we are the co-hosts of Guys We F***t the Anti-Slet Shaming Podcast. And, yeah, we just released our stand-of-comedy special. Yes. So cool.

You have so much going on. And you were like the OG sex podcast duo. Yeah. Which I love. How long ago did you start the podcast? Eight years or? It was December 2013. Yeah.

Oh, amazing. Okay. I should have been listening to that after my season of The Bachelorette because I was shamed so bad for my whole season and I could have really used the two of you. damn well now you got tools in our tool belt to handle it yeah and now but now the bachelor franchise and all the fans are so different because i had sex with like somebody before the fantasy suites and it was like this whole thing like what a slut that she didn't wait until the fantasy suites where that's when it happens and now uh one of the last bachelorette's had sex

like four times in a windmill and like everyone was like raising the roof and like celebrating her And I was like, yes, we've come a long way. It's a much of a different culture, that's for sure. Yeah, absolutely. We were just saying something about like overfeeding dogs. But I was listening to your podcast about the girl who is trying to get her dog back in this toxic relationship and he was using. Do you ever get follow-ups from these people? Because I'm like, did she get the dog?

Like, what happened? Ever known again, not from her. Yeah, we haven't got one from her, but we will get follow-ups, yes. Oh, because I get so invested in these stories. And then I'm like, I need a follow-up. there's so many people that emails these stories that are just nuts like people life is crazy yeah i mean it's all do you think it's just always been this way but because of the you know platforms that we have and the way we can like write into a podcast now and then you have a podcast and it just gets

broadcasted out and then we're getting in all this media like is do you think it's always been this way or is everything getting crazier i think that now we just know we have the evidences in your face now and we're sharing the stories because it's like oh me too me too, me too. And then that builds on itself. And then you're like, oh, well, you're really left with this is something that is a problem. We have access to each other in a way that we haven't before in history. So, yeah, and it's so I think when people are open and able to talk about their problems, then people who might have kept it a secret before can be like, you know what, I am experiencing the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Do you to like, because you've done

done the podcast for this long, do you experience like incredible burnout or how you keep it going and have all this content and new information to talk about? Does that ever stress you out? Or do you ever feel like you have nothing left to say? Or do you always have something to say? I always have something to say. You really think you're going to run out of things to talk about. But under the umbrella of sexuality, there's so much to talk about. It affects everybody. Everybody has some type of relationship with their own sexuality. And I mean, nothing surprises us anymore. That's one thing that's happened from hearing all these stories. You can't really shock us. Yeah, I definitely experienced burnout. Like, I don't, just because

for me, like, talking about something nonstop, it makes it not fun anymore. So I had to kind of stop divulging so much about my personal sex life because it made me not want to have sex. And I was like, I will talk about anything. I'll talk about serial killers or aliens or space ships and just like anything else besides that. I like, you know, I talk about like the news and pop culture. And then I also got a lot of secondhand trauma from the, you know, terrible emails that people. send. And I don't want them not to share, but also I had to set some boundaries for myself with how much I don't need to read, you know, 20 rape accounts in a, in one setting. And that does not at all. And like, for me, I was like, well, they experienced this thing. And I can't even read

about it. Like, what am I a baby? But, you know, even therapists take time away for their own mental health so that they're able to help their clients. So I need to do the same kind of thing. you just couldn't do what you do. And like, you know, at the end of the day, if you don't set boundaries, if therapists don't set boundaries, you're not going to be able to do this job long term. Right. You have to balance what you intake. Yeah.

I've had to learn that a lot because are you both, like, very empathetic people? Like, do you take on other people's energies? And yeah. So then when you read all of these heavy, heavy emails, it's like it affects you. It affects you. and it stays with you. And that's how, like, even in my DMs on Instagram, like, I used to feel the need to go in and find the ones where people needed help or a conversation.

And I'd be like, what can I do? But then that opens a door. And then I, all of a sudden, I'm, like, carrying that weight for them. And then it goes five people and then it's 10 people. And then it's every day. And then I just carry this guilt with me for now not being able to get back to them because now they rely on me. And it's like, it got to a really dark.

place a couple of years ago where I had to really stop doing that. Yeah, yeah, you can't save other people, only they can save themselves. And so really, truly accepting that will make it, we'll make it easier. I grew up in a traumatic household, so I was used to some dark stuff. So I kind of had this understanding of the world where it's like really bad things and scary things happen to people and it sucks. But, you know, so I found like solace in hearing people's stories, I think, just because it's like, okay, this is, this is heavy for a lot of us.

Oh my gosh. I was the opposite. I was like sheltered and protected from everything and everything was happy go lucky and everything could be fixed and I didn't experience anything dark. So now... that's good well it's good it's great of course it's I'm so grateful for that childhood but now I'm like I have no coping skills I have no coping skills whatsoever and little things like throw me over the edge and I'm experiencing like depression and anxiety for the first time in my 30s and because shit's getting real and I just didn't ever know how to deal with that and now I'm starting to have to so it's interesting well also being thrust into the public eye is not helpful even though even if it's what she wanted or if you're like oh I am experiencing this success I wanted it's not like it's not healthy people are me and reading it and reading it

it looks like oh but you can't escape it oh my gosh it's rough yeah i've i've learned a little bit through therapy and just you know learning to how to not go down the suck hole of like a reddit thread or something like that like i just stay the hell out of there but i can see how certain people just get sucked into it and it can it can go really like it can go south really quickly like i was thinking about how you said you could you can only talk about your own personal sex life so much before you're like you know that is that can be burnout as well but in are you both in relationships or were you when you started the podcast i was i was in a relationship when we started the podcast was that hard on your partner or did they totally understand that it was like your sense of humor it's

who you are it's what you do with this podcast uh it was hard on us because i didn't have i was 23 when we start, I don't know, 24 when we started the podcast, I didn't have any boundaries of any kind. I used to think boundaries meant you don't love me, very needy, codependent victimy kind of mentality with the boundaries that I've since come to terms with. But, and so my relationship at the time, I had been dating him for two years. He thought the podcast was a bad idea. And then it exploded. And he was like, oh, I always knew it was going to be good. I'm like, but, uh, classic. I did divulge very intimate details about our sex life that I, 100% should have ran by him for he so you know he yeah we we got over that hump but there was some

fighting involved and it was that was my bad that part yeah i mean well it's hard it's hard to say because that also is you know what got this podcast started and right yeah the impetus for it was that was a breakup that i had gone through so i was fresh off of that i mean when i say fresh off it was like a year after but i that you know breakup it stayed with me for a couple years so uh and then i was single for like four years by choice like I really like just was like I am not going to get into another relationship until I figure out why I reacted so poorly to this breakup and that was kind of the experience of guys we f***ed and I use that as a tool to help me heal and just figure some stuff out because I was like I can't I can never react to a breakup like this again but I'm in a

relationship now but I've been in a ton of relationships since that four year period so yeah yeah that was that was me with trying to heal from that one relationship I was like I cannot ever go back to that I called it like my child like self I was throwing tantrums I was like having out of body experiences from like just the way I reacted to that breakup I ended up being like addicted to Valium because I didn't have to feel anything like I was just I was it was really actually going on the bachelor that kind of I had worked on myself really hard for a year and then you know when you work on yourself for a year you're like I I've got it all. And I can do it. And then I went on The Bachelor, which was a very large test on my mental health. But I actually continued to find myself through, I used Bachelor interviews as therapy because it was constantly talking about your feelings and who you are and why you are the way you are and what you want out of life. And so I was like, oh, I'm just going in for a therapy session today in my, you know, it was like the little diary room. So I continued to just do that. But gosh, it's so I've experienced. having a podcast and my last relationship struggled with, you know, what was talked about on it. And I'm just such an oversharer in general that I'm like, oh, this is relatable. Like, why don't? Like, people are going to love this. And then now I'm in my relationship where I'm engaged and he thinks it's, you know, it's so he's all about it and thinks it's great. But his, at the beginning, he was like, oh, my family's like pretty private and he didn't want me

talking about this stuff but he like thought it was he's like this is your business like I knew you as this when I got into this relationship I knew what I was doing that's the thing I grapple with because I'm like I sometimes I need to talk things out to figure out how I feel about them too yeah um and so I but I like oversharing just because uh you know not at the beginning of a relationship I like to keep private now especially because we'll have we'll have guys on that we're active like I'm actively sleeping with and then people try to you know fans in quotes we'll try to them. And I'm like, no, that's rude. Ew. There's so many other men in the world. Don't do that. That's, that is actually really mean. Wow. I can't believe. Fans of the show will

do that. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. And when we broke up, we, Corinne and I, I broke up with the ex of seven. We ended up being together for seven years. Around a similar time that Corinne had broken up with her ex of two years. So we did this breakup episode because we both, we didn't tell each other, but we ended up both breaking up around the same time. And so, because the podcast is about love and dating in our sex lives, uh, we did an episode about it. And then both of their DMs on Instagram was just filled with girl. And I'm like, yeah, these hoes ain't loyal. What the fuck? Like, wait a month. Wait a month. Wait a second. I mean, I, yeah, no. I don't know that just, you know, there's so many different kinds of people out there, I guess, that are listening to your podcast. So

you're like, thanks for the downloads. That's a nice way to put it. But yeah. So many different kinds of people. Well, it's weird to be a fan of somebody that you want to fuck the person that they that's odd people are so weird though like I swear if I'm not with my fiance because he was also on the bachelor if I'm not with him and he's out at a bar like girls think he's like a free for all like oh well she's not here and I could hook up with a bachelor dude and you're like that's really not how it works yeah out of sight out of mind yeah it's such a weird concept especially like drunk bachelor parties in Nashville it's like they're everywhere but yeah Nashville loves the bachelor parties in Nashville are like BFFs, man.

Oh, yeah. Those pedal taverns. Those pedal taverns will get you. That's, we live there and I refuse to hit Broadway, even though it's so much fun because it's the most overwhelming place on, like I, I actually get, like, I start clamming up and get anxiety even if I see a pedal tavern. Yeah. Yeah.

I understand. I don't live there. And I get that. Okay, Vino's, it's time for a quick pause to talk about a sponsor that I always love sharing with you guys because I just love it myself. And that is Peloton. Now, it might seem weird that people, me included, are obsessed with an app and a bike that's meant for working out.

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They would come in person and sit down with us in a room. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes we hadn't seen them in years and you're like, whoa, hello, you've changed. I love that they agree to this. So I feel like if I asked my exes to come on the podcast, it'd be like, go fuck yourself. Yeah, yeah. I think it's a different world now.

I think because we were doing it when no one else was doing anything like that, they were almost intrigued and they were like, what do these girls have up their sleeves? Like, let me go and figure this out. Because it was such a weird ask, you know, almost 10 years ago. Totally. That I think they were just along for the ride for the most part. Do you have any like moments that shocked you that you were like, like surprising things that came up while talking to your exes?

like, was there any closure or something therapeutic that happened out of it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, one guy, I swore he dumped me, but he came on and said, I dumped him. And I was like, I would not dump you? He's married now. But I'm like, why would I really liked you? And he's like, no, you dumped me. I'm like, what?

I don't even remember that. I would, like, how far back do you go with exes? I mean, high school boyfriends or college or? Yeah, I had high school boyfriends on. Yeah. Oh, my God, I love that. Yeah. I'm trying to think, I'm still kind of friends with my high school boyfriends with my

school sweetheart he i like yeah he did he actually did the tattoos on the back of my arms like later in life and like we still have the same circle of friends from back home so i feel like he would totally i had to reach out to him actually when i was on dancing with the stars and bachelor because you had to get his approval for my tattoos to be shown and talked about it's his art yeah because it's his art yeah so that was funny but we're just friends anyways but did you imagine back when you know you were doing this and calling your exes that you're your podcast would turn into what it is, how you have a special on YouTube and now a TV series coming out on Fox. Like, did you always have like a bigger plan for the show? Or were you like,

oh, let's see what happens. We just, we just wanted to have a conversation. And we were really excited. Like, it was very titillating for us to like be able to talk to these guys again. I never would have called most of them. I probably would have gone to the grave without ever having a conversation with them again. So it was almost like investigative journalism, but we're investigating ourselves. So I, I didn't perceive. at all the way the twists and turns that the podcast took but it's really cool to see how it has evolved the conversation has evolved greatly since the beginning yeah i had i certainly had a bigger plan for like my life and my trajectory in the entertainment business but it's interesting

because guys we fucked is the one thing that i feel like came out of like pure organic need and curiosity yeah um and was for for once me not i always have these schemes and plans to make myself famous since I was a little kid and this was like absolutely not a plan or a scheme to become famous and of course it's the one that worked so yeah I was going to be on S&L I was like I'm gonna be a star me I'm gonna be Kristen Whig well Christian Wig wasn't on S&L when I interned there but you know that's what that's I thought my trajectory because I majored in acting so I was like okay that's I know like who would have known that podcasting would be you know the thing that it is today and that you can turn a podcast into a series like you're doing like tell me about

your YouTube channel. It came out on Valentine's Day, right? Oh, our special day. Yes. That's our debut comedy special. We put the money up for it. We produced it. Corinne directed it. We filmed it in Salem, Massachusetts at a movie theater called Cinema Salem. And we're so, it came out so good. And it's wedding themed. It's called Our Special Day. The opening montage is us in like Madonna-esque wedding gowns, custom design wedding gowns. Madonna is hers and Lydia Dietz is my. Yeah, yeah. So we had a lot of fun with it. And then we involved the audience because our audience, because we've been giving advice since the podcast started, we didn't ask people to ask us questions.

They just kind of started doing it. And so we started giving advice. And that became a huge part of the show. And so when we tore live, we'll do a lot of segments where we bring the audience up on stage. We'll make like a guy, we'll ask a guy, how do you work a tampon? And they never know how to use it. Or we'll do like seven minutes in therapy, which is we just set a timer and people line up. and we just try to solve as many people's problems as we can while we do sexting theater where we people hand their phones to us and we do theatrical reading of their sex messages it's really fun and we recuperated two of those segments in the special so it's us doing standup and then us interacting with the audience yeah it's a culmination of so you know you know most standup comedians release an album or a special and even if they don't have a fan base and we have this fan base and we had never shown them like this is the main thing that we do because so many people know us from podcasting but it's like yeah when we turn off the

mics during the day and we go out at night we're doing you know 10 15 shows a week in new york city we're going on the road we're playing you know full weekends this is like this is what we do this is what we're trained for yeah and so yeah we just wanted to put it together in exactly the way that we wanted and and put it on youtube because that's the only way place that you retain full control of the art that you put out there and like coming we're we're kind of spoiled coming from the world of podcasting every week we're almost a decade we say whatever we want we do whatever we we want and then we just upload it right and we were you know it's challenging to get that same treatment in the tv world or in the streaming world so we were just like we're going to put this out

exactly the way we want to put it out and stop waiting around for people to to make it on board yeah right oh that's no that's genius i love it i love the hustle and your fans like you were saying like they really trust the shit out of you both like they will like watching that youtube series they'll tell you everything they will spare no details and yeah um like they just truly genuinely want your advice i have two questions one do you have any like stories that stand out to you where you're like i really help this person or like that story meant a lot to me i do yeah i remember we first started touring it was about three years into doing the podcast so we were doing one-nighters and places to kind of test you know and we would sell out uh pretty quickly and uh we always did meet and greets the first year that we were

touring. We just wanted to meet anybody who wanted to say hi after the show. Those were often longer than the actual shows themselves because then, because we have this trusting relationship with our audience, there was a lot of stories. And I remember this one guy in Arizona. He was like one of the last guys in line and he was somebody around my own father's age. And he came up to us and he was like, your podcast gave me the courage to leave my wife. She was very emotionally abusive. And I recommended my teenage daughter listen to it. And then that made her comfortable opening up to me that she was raped and she never would have told me that like it really got her comfortable talking about the subject and realizing you can get help and yeah yeah so i was like

holy i'll never forget that no kidding wow that's powerful yeah yeah there's a lot i remember i i need to check up on this kid uh you just reminded me there was a teenager who came from a very religious jewish background like orthodox and like i'm jewish but i'm not that serious about it um and he started messaging me and this was someone who was not allowed to like listen to anything. He didn't have TV. He wasn't allowed to like have DVDs. And I was like, listen, I can't like really meet up with you. Like you can't come to my shows because you're not even 18,

never mind 21. And I was just like, I remember one time I like met up with him on a street corner to like give him like just give him something. And I'm like, and I was just so nervous the whole time. I was like, you know, you can't in New York City, I think you have a little bit more freedom to. go around because you have this subway. It's like you need a vehicle to get places. But he was also obviously struggling with his sexuality. He was, I mean, I don't want to out, you know, somebody, but I think he was definitely

homosexual. And he was really worried about getting sent off to this, like, religious camp where he was like, they make fun of homosexual people. They say it's wrong. They say it's not like under what God wants you to do. And so it was like trying to tow the line of obviously being appropriate with a minor. but not letting him get sucked into this world where he wouldn't be able to be himself. And like I love when people like that find guys be f***ed.

I think it can be so freeing. But then there's also this other part of me that is so scared that like a religious leader or a parent is going to find out about this show you're listening to and then get even more mad at you. Remember that guy, that kid whose mom emailed us? He emailed us and said he was a big fan and he was like 12. And we were like, oh, you know. okay thanks because we've gotten that before we got I think 11 was the youngest well at the same time I'm like these kids have full on access to porn right so I'd rather yeah I'd way rather you learn about sex from our show than porn any day um 100% and so I emailed him and I was just like oh you know thank you so much for listening like you know it's really sweet and then his mom emailed us back like this is you know my son shouldn't be listening to this and I was like okay you're like well that seems like a you problem not a big problem that's yeah conversation That's a thing. I always say that about porn too. Like, obviously kids have access to the internet. They could go on and watch the most inappropriate. I'm pro porn, but like they could watch it inappropriate. Yeah, but not for kids. Yeah, no. I think everyone agrees kids shouldn't watch porn. Everyone agrees kids shouldn't watch porn. And then they get this distorted idea of what sex is. And then they have these standards and then they think girls should be a certain way. And like it just they're at these. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I think it's.

It's cool that they would listen to your podcast where they're hearing it from women. Yeah, I mean, 11 does seem a little young, but that's, you know, the parents should be watching what they're doing on that one. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. My other question was in the world of being a comedian nowadays, are you having to change your comedic ways almost or how you approach situations being scared of the cancel culture? Or are you like, no, this is my comedy and this is how I roll?

I think the comedy clubs are the one of the only place where you can got we're professional comedians and part of being a professional comedian is if you look at joke structure you know bullying somebody or bullying a group of people that's just not fun like it's not so so but if we've been doing this for over a decade stand-up comedy and we know what we're doing so if somebody's offended by our jokes that's on them like that's not but with a podcast it's tricky because podcasts and Twitter that's not a comedy club that's not a comedy club audience they're not they're not they're not they They're, and then, you know, people when we, the podcast started getting successful, they were like, you guys are like feminists. You're my feminist hero. And I never called myself that. And I do now. But I think when somebody puts you on that pedestal, you, they forget that you're a stand of comedian first. And so it gets tricky when you're talking on the podcast because you also learn and grow. When you're younger, you say shit, you don't understand as ignorant.

And then you learn, you go, oh, okay. Yep. Got it. Got it. And so because we've been doing the podcast for. eight years. That's all, you know, learning in front of people. Like, I've learned a lot about being in an emotionally abusive relationships with various people on the podcast after like having the person on and being like, they're the best. And then you watch me over the years learn like,

oh, wait, they were mean. Okay. I accepted that treatment. So growing in front of people is, you know, you're not, you can't be perfect ever. And also, I think it unfortunately teaches you that, like, you kind of have to like, pick, almost like, pick a lane. So, you know, So if I had known now, then what I know now, I would sadly never have tried to like, I never called myself an activist and I actually hate when people are called activists when they have like a primary other job because to me like we should all be active citizens in the world and to like give yourself the title of activists I think is a bit obnoxious. So people will give that to us as a lower third. And anytime I catch that, I'm like, can you please take that off? Yeah. But it's also detrimental to comedians because if you're saying you're an activist,

and a comedian like those are those two things are working against each other yes you know and I think that comedians are you know activists in their own way they're speaking truth in a in a way that no one else really does and looking at concepts from every angle and I think that's really admirable and I think that comedy is very important and really helps a lot of people through tough times and it's kind of not given the credit and not and almost like it's looked at as like mimery or like looked down upon that you're a court jester when it's really one of the most important things in life is to laugh and in the, or a status of anyone who's been through real shit loves to laugh and loves to laugh at the dark shit. And it's these people who are avoiding looking at the inner

darkness that are like, you can't say that or that offends me. And I think that if we just had never tried to help people publicly, like you could always help people privately. But if you never try to help people publicly, you have a lot more freedom with your jokes. which is like what a bad lesson to learn that I shouldn't have, you know, openly tried to help people. Yeah. It's really, it's really sad. It gets frustrating. Like, I posted a tweet not that long ago of like just like a one-off joke that I thought of.

And it was Taylor Swift looks like she thinks she gives great head, but it's actually just okay. And I posted it. And I knew. But I was like, so many people were like, I can't believe you're bringing down another woman. I'm like, first of all, Taylor Swift don't give a fuck about what I say about her. And it's also funny and true. So shut up. I love Taylor Swift.

I'm like, I don't go to fuck. Like, come on. Yeah, to me, like, that's definitely, that's just my sense of humor. And so many people don't, like, understand that kind of humor sometimes. Like, it was actually a dream of mine to one day do stand-up comedy until I realized I was not that funny. I'm always, like, I think I'm funny with, like, in my own way. But as soon as I, like, talk to other comedians, I'm, like, always so humbled. But one of my dream, like, things to do was do stand-up.

So they did that for me on my season of the, Bachelorette and one of my dates was I did stand up with Amy Schumer oh shit yeah one of the best wow and and Nikki Glazer and that's really cool it was amazing it was so much fun and it's truly still a highlight of my life because you got to just say these hilarious inappropriate things and it's like you address the elephants in the roon yeah yeah yeah you can really lean into your flaws you can make fun of yourself you make fun of the bullshit the world make fun of everybody it's so fun but it takes it a brilliant mind to be a comedian and it's hard and I just like I'm always just in awe of comedians

because of everything that you just said like everything you were both just saying I'm like oh that's so well said it's so well said and and even just from doing my research for this podcast I'm like oh well now you've got a new fan of guys we f*** because I'm now a huge fan oh thank you this episode of off the vine is brought to you by progressive insurance less face it, sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming, like when your favorite podcast is playing right now, and the person next to you is talking and your car fan is blasting all while you're trying to just find the perfect parking spot. But then again, sometimes multitasking is easy, like quoting with progressive insurance. They do the hard work of comparing rates so you can find

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I try and give my followers and listeners advice as well, but I think they could obviously benefit from your words of wisdom. So I have a couple questions from listeners for you both. Sure. Okay. you've been with your partner for over five years, and they still won't go down on you. But they said, what's a tip or trick other than dumping them? Okay.

Yeah, right, right, right. Having a conversation about, I mean, go in five years without that. You've already kind of set the precedent of, yeah, not looking out for your own needs. So it can be sometimes tricky to then all of a sudden five years into the relationship go, you know what? I'm actually not okay with this. But, I mean, I would try. Obviously, if you love the person, I don't think I could love somebody you didn't go down on me.

So I don't know what that is. But you can also just stop going down on them too. Don't f*** them until they go down on them. I mean, absolutely no blowjobs if they're not giving you out. That's my role. Do nothing. Because I think there are some people that actually feel uncomfortable with it. And I'm like, okay.

But I'm like, then there has to be some kind of a deal. Because it's not like I love giving head. I don't. Does anybody? I do. Some people do. But like, I don't. I'm a people pleaser.

Yeah, I really like it. And so it's like, okay. I would give up getting eaten out if I never had to give a blowjob again. That's an easy deal for me. Easy, no problem deal for me. She can negotiate. That's a total deal, deal, deal. But also, even the way the language in which this writer spoke, it's like tips and tricks.

We've all been raised by this cosmopolitan. Yes. Quiz. It's like there's no tricks or tips for a relationship. It's all about open communication. and saying what you need and not feeling bad about it. And everyone's needs are different. And like if one of your needs in your relationship is getting your pussy eaten out,

you need to make that clear. Very clear. And then you find a way to ease into it. And if the person's not in, then, you know, you have to decide for yourself if that's a deal breaker. But I would say, see you later. Yeah. And like, why isn't he?

There are guys that are so obsessed with eating women out that like want to do it that are like craving it, that like miss it when they're not doing it. So her vagina could have a face in it that's very enthusiastic to be there. And she deserves that. Yeah. I'm so freaking literally. I liked the word you used with like, you almost have to have a negotiation with your partner. Like, okay, well, then I'm not going to do this.

And like, why is it you don't want to do that? Is it something you don't like? Is there like a deeper reason behind it? Like, if you're together for five years, you should be able to talk about anything. Uh-huh. Yeah. People don't talk. People talk about fucking to everyone except the person they're fucking.

And so it's like you've got to talk to that person. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Okay. If orgasms don't come easily to you because you get in your head and your body insecurities get the best of you, what are some first steps you can take? This is a really common question that we get. So, I mean, first, I think it's like you have to be able to orgasm alone before you step into the world of orgasming with a partner.

So then you could feel how your body feels. I think even like masturbating with the lights on, like looking at your body like this your body and then I think things like meditating like to really get out of your head because we just think of all the wrong things like if you're thinking about a thousand other things besides the person you're having sex with while you're having sex of course you're not going to be able to orgasm. Orgasm takes a lot of concentration and focus and that's kind of what I like about it because I always have a thousand things going on but when I'm having sex I can just concentrate on that. It's like a gift to yourself and why would you not want to take advantage of that

gift yeah i would take masturbating to the whole i i take my masturbation game is pretty pretty up there um because i was uh not not voluntary well i guess voluntarily celibate for for two years recently and so i would masturbate a lot but i would like take my time set aside a lot of time i like lights off with like a candle i have a lot of sex toys so i just like i don't know i and i and i we get so caught up in what our body looks like and we forget that like our bodies are incredible the fact that we your body is a magnificent set of systems in you know under your skin it's it's really magical what a human body can do and a human brain your human brain is your biggest sex organs so I think what Corin said with the meditating and calming yourself that's going to take you out because

your brain can be your worst enemy with that shit it's so true yeah it's so easy to get in your head and then it's really hard to come back so just being gentle with yourself and sometimes for some people it helps to not have the expectation to have an orgasm and just kind of explore yes i feel like some people like that's their intention going in how do i get there like why is it this working instead of just enjoying the process until hopefully it happens yeah and i i think a lot of people don't like research about like sex and their own body and masturbation and i think that can go such a long way i mean there's podcasts for everything there's meditations for everything there's so much research you can look at and find out. And I think it'd be like to get excited about that rather than think

like, why am I not doing this? Right. Sure. Yeah. People have sex the same way they date, but they have this goal. Like I'm dating to get married. It's like, why don't you just date to like have fun and get to meet somebody else? As soon as I started dating in that different way, dating became a lot more enjoyable when there's not such an angle. We have an end goal for everything. Yeah, just enjoy them. It's like, I have enough angles for my career. I don't need an angle for every person I meet. It's, it's overwhelming. That's such a good point. Yeah, you don't have to always have like the pot of gold at the end. Like, yeah, you can just enjoy something for what it is in the moment. Absolutely. I like that. Okay. Someone you're sleeping with isn't meeting all of your needs sexually,

but you see all the potential with a relationship. How do you nip it in the bud before it gets too far in? Or can you work on the sex part of things? I think this kind of question. Yeah. Yeah, I just think being open and honest about it and so like next maybe you know when it when you think of it after you've had sex with this person maybe think about okay so the next time we have sex what is the what is something that I want to communicate uh was it I didn't like the way that they were touching me and so if that's the case it's like you know can I take your hand and put it on me the way I like to be touched or I love something I love love love love I think it's so hot I love watching a guy masturbate because I love watching the way he touches his dick because then you're like that's how you touch it to come yeah that's the

rhythm that's the whatever the pressure that you use uh and then i mean yeah and then if you watch me masturbate you're going to see exactly how that goes so mutual masturbation i think is so much fun and you're always you know you're most likely going to come and then you get to learn about how that other person likes to be touched without having it be expressively a tutorial right right yeah i think it's definitely worth putting some like time and energy into but Ultimately, I think a lot of people feel like some kind of weird shame for breaking up with someone based on the sex not working. And I think ultimately that's what is the difference between a friendship and a relationship. So if after trying those things and you know, you can give it maybe like a month or a couple tries, but after that, like you just have to be like, we're not sexually compatible and that's okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. And every podcast, I make my guests confess something to me. I do. Yeah. I think I might have hinted at this on the podcast, but I was saying earlier, you know, you people inadvertently ended up watching me like grow up and realize things that were kind of obvious, but to everybody but me. Right. So that was embarrassing. But Corinne and I wrote a book a couple years ago. We co-wrote a book and we each got a dedication page. And all four people on my book dedication are blocked on my phone.

I don't talk to any of my parents my ex-boyfriend my ex-best friend yeah like and in the book I'm like you got to you know don't put abusive people on pedestals and that's exactly what I was doing oh and they're blocked yep yep they cannot contact me good bless them and block them yeah yeah exactly good I'm trying to think I'm like I don't have it I like I was like I'm like feel embarrassed a lot which is like a whole other issue but I I I one of the things that it's definitely like I can look at in retrospect and be like this was wild was after I broke up

with a boyfriend this is many many boyfriends ago I got I got when that he was going to the movies with this other girl and so I knew like I knew a store he had just gone to from like his social media so I looked up showtimes for the movie that I knew he was going to

in that area and I waited outside the movie theater with my arm crossed for five hours to try and confront them yeah And then I found out they didn't even go to a movie theater in the city. They had gone up stayed a little bit more. But for five hours, arms crossed like this the whole time because I was like, I don't want them to catch me smiling. Insane. That's like, so my behavior is more insane than embarrassing.

It's just, I mean, I guess other people might consider that embarrassing. I'm like, that's beyond embarrassing. That's a crazy person on the loose. That's so funny that you did that for five hours. I mean, you were committed to be mad. Because I go, oh, I guess I, I guess they just, like, misestimated the showing that they went to. And then I sat through a whole other one. Damn.

Oh, gosh. Those are both really good. Okay, before I let you go, I always play this game called How Do You Proceed? And this is called How Would You Proceed if the guy you f***? And then I'm going to give you a situation. And you tell me how you proceed, okay? Got it. How would you proceed if the guy you f***ed?

you would reverse cowgirling, and he screamed y-haw as he blew his load. I mean, I would get off that dick and go, are you fucking serious? Is he doing this earnestly or is he a professional comedian? Yeah, right. I guess we're too used to being around people that, like, try to be funny. If he was trying to be funny, I'd be like, no. But if it was genuine, yeah, you can't help what comes out of your mouth. I would, yeah, I would actually, I would be more comfortable.

he was trying to be funny which is but if he was if he said that like if that's just the thing that he said when he comes I would be like never again can't do that that would that would be traumatizing for me it was trying to even hear it suggested yeah yeah yeah I know I I'm uncomfortable thinking about it uh okay you're having sex with a stranger and he starts to cry into your neck after he comes that's happened shut up yeah like you're fully in it and you don't really know and then he just cries after? I mean, I'm a stranger. Yeah.

It happened with somebody that I now know very well, but when we had sex, I wasn't as familiar with him as I am now. So I wouldn't say it was a total stranger. I don't think I ever had, well, yeah, I did hire a prostitute, so I have it at sex with a stranger, but. Wait, go back to that?

I hired a male prostitute. Really? Awesome. I highly recommend it. Yes, great. It was great. I didn't have to feel guilty about, like, not calling him or doing anything.

I was like, giving him a blowjob, and I was like, wait a second, I don't have to do this. And he's like, nope. And I'm like, cool, you can leave. It was awesome. That's a big, good power to you. Highly recommend. Yeah, it's fun.

But that's, do they like, is that totally safe? I mean, we work. There was condoms. I mean, the thing is sex workers are really good at sex. Yeah. Because that's their work. And it's usually safer than a non-sex worker because sex workers keep, they're crazy about their sexual health, which is perfect.

It's their business. It's their money. They have to be safe. otherwise they can't work anymore. I was actually going to say it's probably more safe than meeting someone at a bar. It's safer emotionally and it's safer physically. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, okay. I like that. He asks you if you're open to being videotaped. How do you proceed? Hell no. No. That's it we can't, in this day and age, you can't do it. If it was like a long-term partner, I would be open to it.

But like even then, like, I mean, there's not enough revenge porn laws to protect. And if so, I would have to be like, I would have. I would be like, okay, we can do it, but give me, like, three months to, like, get in the best shape of my life. And I'll do a face of makeup. Because if this week, yeah, I need to this to help my career, not hinder my career. I was going to say, if you had the dream of being famous since a young age and now in your life you had the chance to do a sex tape, and that would be the thing that made you famous, would you do it? Well, you have to let people, you can't let people know that you want it to be leaked.

That's the problem with a sex tape. Right. Like, you know, you have to act shocked and hurts. Yeah, like, buy it. Oh, no. How could that ever happen? But also, did I look good? I mean, I sent nudes to guys where I'm like, I hope someone's hacking my cloud because

these are good ones. I always see that. I'm like, if a nude is leaked of me, I'm not going to be ashamed of it because I like my body and I clearly was feeling good about it that thing. Right. Right. Yeah. I think that's never the problem, though.

Like, a lot of times the problem is that it just feels like such an invasion of privacy, you know? But like, you know, and so like, yes, I think we all should take nudes that we would be okay with getting leaked because that's the smart thing to do in this day and age. and there's just like something that like posting it on Instagram is just like not the same thing. Yeah. Just not as interesting. Because at the end of the day, I don't really want a lot of creepers out there being able to just Google me and see me naked.

If it happens. They don't, they didn't earn it. Exactly. Yeah. They didn't earn it. That's exactly right. You got to earn these titties. Yeah.

Absolutely. And tell everybody where they can, I mean, YouTube for the special, but what, tell me about your series coming out on Fox. when people can find that where like watch it where they can listen to your podcast all of the things sure so um yeah so the youtube special is called our special day that's youtube.com slash guys we without the u and f*** uh the fox series i mean that was announced but like it's gonna be a while until you see that on the air still exciting but yeah we're working on that so just you know stay tuned and you'll see our faces maybe in like a year on tv i think tv works really slow yeah and then of course we have our podcast guys we f*** the anti-slut-shaming podcast it comes out on fridays and it's available

on all platforms we're no we used to be exclusive to luminary and so the luminary has become like our patreon basically yeah if you want ad free if you want bonus stuff come to luminary but we're also on apple on spotify all the places that you get uh podcasts and we I really highly recommend listening to this show like it's a good show I really stand behind it's really good it's really really good. I have been listening today and I'm like, this is incredible. Yeah. I'm really into it. I'm really glad we got to chat today. I appreciate both of you and all of your perspectives and I just, I adore both of you. And thank you for being on the pod today. Thank you for having us. So much fun. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday.

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