Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Hannah Brown | The Double Uterus Mix-Up & Her Plans for Starting a Family!

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

#956. Hannah Brown is back, and we have a LOT to catch up on!We kick things off with the diagnosis that had doctors initially thinking Hannah had a double uterus. She shares what they ultimately discovered, how her recent surgery went, and why the experience has changed the conversations she's having about family planning.Then we talk married life with Adam one year in, their full-blown house renovation (seriously, it's getting the Kris Jenner facelift), and why they'll be living out of their home for months!!Plus, Hannah shares the real-life inspiration behind her new book Reasons to Be Loved by You—including a storyline inspired by her brother dating her ex's ex. Yes, really!From fertility and future plans to marriage, home renovations, and relationship drama that somehow turned into a romance novel, Hannah has plenty of updates since the last time she was on the pod.If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these AMAZING deals!Macy’s: Shop in stores or online only at Macys.com!Poshmark: Download the Poshmark app today and use code vine when you sign up to get $10 off your first purchase.Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you can save on car insurance!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Macy's. Shop in store or online at Macy's.com. Poshmark, download the Poshmark app today and use code Vine when you sign up to get $10 off your first purchase. Progressive, visit progressive.com and see if you could save on car insurance. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Okay, so excited for today's episode because she's not just someone you know. She's someone I know and love Hannah Brown is back on the podcast. So much always happens in her life.

Like, I can't believe the last time I talked to where she's about to get married. Now she's full, real lifing and, like, adulting and wifing. And we get into just really honest conversations right away about her recent uterus surgery, what she's diagnosed with, how that shifted the way she's thinking about her body, fertility, family planning. One of those conversations, I think so many women are just going to feel seen in. So we also talk about being a year into marriage, what it looks like behind the scenes. And of course, we dive into her new book, reasons to be loved by you.

It's honest. It's pulled from her own life, the story behind it, and what it was like writing, something this personal. I just love her. She's honest. She's fun. One of those conversations that feels like you're sitting in the room with us. So here we go. I mean, this is so cute. You did a great job. Thank you. I'm so excited. I'm wondering, so it's going to come out mid June. I'll send you a set. Do you want this color? Do you want blue and gray? Do you want both? You want both? No. No, you get me whatever. I'll get you both. Okay. Well, I'll take it. I don't know why you even asked. I'm going to send you both. I'm like always so comfortable and casual and you literally look like Miss America.

You look, this is so cute. This is not like every day for me, but I do love my outfit. It's precious. It does like Barbie. Yeah, it's giving like, but like an elevated Barbie. I was thinking, I was like this outfit today, my like five year old Hannah would love just as much as 31 year old Hannah. Love that. Yeah. You're like dressing for your inner child and for your adult likes health. That's really cute. So what did you other press today. Yep. I had some more, I had press earlier this morning and just in and out of New York. That's fun. Yeah. I get to do any like big shows like I did Tamarin Hall. Right. That's huge. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. We'll do more. And off the vine. Okay. And off the vine. Just kidding. Yeah. I'm so curious because the last I talked to you, you were in, you'd come out of surgery.

Yeah. And I know, okay. I know that doctors at one point, we talked about the last podcast, they said you had two uteruses, uterized, however we say that, and then it turned into something else. Yep. So what was the latest diagnosis before you went into surgery? So when you look at my, or when you looked at my uterus on an ultrasound, it looks split into. Okay. So they thought it was two full, like separate uteruses, but it actually was a septum

that was just a really deep septum. So some people are like, oh, I had a septum. And yours was so deep. Mine was so deep. It looked like it split in two, like all the way to like almost, what is that? Like the vagina canal, like right there. It was like really deep. So it was a septum, so they were able to remove it.

What is this septum? Why do I not know how it is? Okay. So like it was almost like deviated septum. Yeah, like too much tissue. Yes. Okay. I don't know if the tissue is the right word, but that had grown in the middle.

And I've been, like, I've had it since I was born. It's an abnormality or something. But you would never know unless you got like a certain type, yeah, ultrasound. And then even with the ultrasound like you don't, it looks like maybe it's two. And then you take all these tests to figure out what it is. So did they know that before going into surgery or did they figure out during, okay. Yes. And I also still have like a heart shaped uterus too, which typically they would be like if it was just because a heart shape

could have gone all the way down, and they wouldn't be able to do surgery on that. But I just have, like, a slight heart-shaped uterus. Okay. But if you mess with that, then you're, like, probably, like, internal bleeding or something if you could have that. Yeah, yeah. I go back to the doctor to, like, check out how everything went probably in the next couple of weeks. Okay. So we'll see, like, how successful it was.

So you don't even know how successful the surgery is until you go back for your follow-up. Like I feel good. Okay. But I'm not exactly sure where we're at and everything. And they feel like it was great. But you stopped like, I'm on all these hormones right now. Oh, are you, how are you feeling? I feel like a crazy person.

Yeah. Have you ever taken estrogen? Yes. Does it make you feel crazy? Yes. Oh my gosh. I'm glad that you know, like I didn't know that's what was happening to me. I took estrogen.

Then also when I was freezing my eggs, I was pumping my body of, yes. What is called? Yeah. And I, yeah. I'm an absolute psychopath. Yes. Oh yeah, I think I say that every time I'm here. But like this one like I know.

Yes. Well, not that you can help because women's hormones in general just make us psychopaths. But it sucks when you like know it's happening. Yes. And I have to keep taking it. But I'm like, I'm so ready to get off this. I don't know if when you were on estrogen hormones, you feel so like puffy and not like in your body. And I swear like my hair is like.

oily, like really oily? Mm-hmm. It's just like mess with me. I've only been on it for like a month. And how long do you have to be on it until? Until I go back. They just, I don't know why. Is having a heart-shaped uterus in that septum painful?

Does it cause pain? I don't know because I think we've, I don't know if we've talked about this. Like I have experienced like a lot of pelvic floor. I go because, yes, some things are painful down there. sometimes. And so I don't know. Hopefully we'll see if it's helped. It's definitely not the main cause of some discomfort and needing to do some pelvic force things. But, no, most of it is just would make having a child very difficult. So, and you can have a heart-shaped uterus and still have children and a lot of people do. It just makes it a little bit more, you know,

it'll just, it's different. Well, that's the thing. It's not just medical. because now you're thinking about timelines and pressure and kids and like our bodies just go through so much already. So then the pressure on top of all that is so wild. And like you mentioned that that could have caused miscarriages. I'm so glad that I found that out before I started trying. Right. Yes. Oh my gosh.

That was I posted about this experience. And the amount of women who messaged me that I was like, I'm so glad that you like figured this out before. Yeah. It's like an 80% chance of a miscarriage. Is it 80? If you had this septum. Wow. But if you get it removed, you can have like a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

Yes. And people wouldn't know until. I'm so frustrated with women's health. I bet. Because if I hadn't had a great doctor in Los Angeles help find this, I would have never known. I would have had to go gone through so much heartbreak until they finally are like, oh, what's suffering?

Do an ultrasound. Yeah. Holy crap. That's so then you get to now have this platform to advocate for other women's health. And that's, I love when, I don't love when this happens to somebody. I love when they can have a voice to share this and have other people go look into that too. Yeah. Because there's, I mean, there's just so much that goes into, that people don't know with, they think, oh, I'll just get pregnant or it'll be, you know, X, Y, Z.

You just, when I'm ovulating, I'll do this until you're in the position where it's a lot more challenging. Yeah. And now I'm like, maybe it'll be easy. And now I'm a little scared. Right. I'm like, wait, am I ready for this? I don't know. I know.

I'm like, so what did the, do you and Adam talk about starting, I mean, you've probably always talked about starting a family. Yeah, I think to be very honest, like, I have a lot of fear of starting. I have fear around any type of commitment to anything. So a child is a big commitment. But I know that I would regret not doing that. And I have been starting to have dreams about, like, having a baby, like, and looking at the baby and being like, oh, I love you. So I think it's happening. Like, it's starting to happen.

Yeah. Okay. I have, I have, my pregnancy dreams are so weird. It's always just like I can see the baby in my stomach. And I have to, like, hold it up. And I'm like looking at it in my stomach. But it's like a ball. Yeah. And I'm like in labor, but like I don't, but I've never seen my actual baby yet. Yeah. No. So I have, mine was, this was like this past week. and it was in a little, I don't know what they're called car seat or something. And I was like, looking and playing. And then I was like, oh, this is my baby. I love my baby. Well, your subconscious is telling you something.

Yeah. So I guess we're getting there. But consciously, I'm like, that seems like the scariest thing that you ever do. Well, yeah. Anything life altering is going to be terrifying. Yeah. Especially bringing kids. I just had a doctor on right before you talking about just AI stuff.

And I'm like, how scary to think about even just that on top of everything. Like, what are relationships going to look like in 30 years with AI? But can you allow all that fear? No. To not make you go forward in life. No, you cannot. And you can't. But it is, if you think about it too much, it is a little scary.

Well, what my parents always tell me is think about, like, our parents in war. Like, that was scary. To be like, oh, I'm going to have a child now. It's like, we don't know what is even happening. So there's always going to be fear in the world. And we are fed so much fear on social media that it's like getting scarier and scary. So like maybe just take some breaks, he said, from the phone. And like, because all we're doing is taking in awful news, scary news at all times of the day on our phone.

So yeah, anyways. Well, let's change this to a lighter subject. Recovery wise. Doom and gloom. I love it. So classic me. Introduceive thoughts. Let's talk about them.

What was recovery like for you? It was so sweet with friends like you Just bringing gifts Even though I brought food to the wrong house I was like oh no I should have looked at all the packages on this person's house On the front step I was like Are they even home?

There were so many packages and I like dropped it and you're like I don't see it I'm like Oh no shit I'll bring it so sweet and so delicious But like thank you You made like this delicious soup for me It was amazing When people are recovering from anything I think what can I

do. Yeah. And then I think, oh, I make a really good soup. You do. And so that's what it is. And all, all, recovery was pretty easy, I would say. How long? What did it look like? It looked like pain killers. Yeah, like for just like two days. Okay, great. And then, I mean, I probably could have gone without them, but like, if you have them. Right. Oh, gosh. Don't tell me with a good time. I was like, this is kind of, it's like an excuse to be in bed and... I love it. I truly love it. I also learned the hard way about, like, how an opioid addiction happens because

when you, it's like, I think it takes the body four days to actually have the addiction to, like, an opioid. So on day four, I was like, like, oh, wee, I have like two more days. And somebody said to me, you shouldn't just because it's there. Because here's when your body starts getting addicted to it. Interesting. I literally took it one more day after. And to try and come off it was a nightmare. Really?

Yep. I had to now go back to weaning and like do it because I was like, uh-oh. Because then I'm like, I have to take a half to feel normal. I don't feel well. I'm shaking. I need to have a drink with this. And I was like, I see the problem. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I thankfully have never had anything like that. I don't know if I have addicted. I have, yeah, my phone. I'm addicted to that. Oh, we all are. Yeah, I was in the bed. I had like some light bleeding.

Yeah. Yeah, lightish. Maybe more. I don't know. You're like, I don't know. I was high. But then really it was the thing that was so uncomfortable is I had a catheter in my uterus, which I didn't have to like change it out or anything. It wasn't like, it was just uncomfortable.

Yeah. And I'll like I just have a little dick hanging out. Oh. It was just on my leg. again so like walking was weird and that wasn't fun yeah that sounds very and I had that for two weeks holy shit I know so that was the bad part oh I thought you're gonna say two days no so that was two weeks oh yeah that's so I just didn't want to do anything fair enough and I hope you didn't do anything I didn't that's the bad part though because then you just scroll on your phone the whole time

and spend two weeks and bed that's it's such a slippery slope around all that I mean I did go out some People were like, what are you doing? I'm like, I mean, my life has to somewhat keep in motion. But for any chance I had, I was. I had friends over after I got my boobs done and they wanted to go to Broadway and I still had drains in. And I was like on the pedal tavern like at Lyme. Brian's like, yeah. Oh, yeah. And everyone was like, you're crazy. And I was like, I'm on opioids. I'm sorry. Yes, I am. I didn't drink the time I was on that. Actually, I had one. And then the next day when I was actually, I was actually. I had one. And then the next day when I was actually, actually had gotten myself off of those, I still had drains. And I was like, let's go. So fun. Yeah. I went to a few events and was like, yeah, whatever. That's kind of chic. Yeah. They're like, well, you know what? I have a diaper on. I still got to get to work, you know. The beautiful outfit on with a diaper underneath. Nobody will ever know until now. That's like, like, I feel like women are so used to pushing through pain or, you know, doing,

but figuring out things with the body. And I think a lot of women like late 20s and 30s and 40s feel this pressure around not only like fertility, but timing and everything that you're probably feeling right now. But did it change how you listen to your body after all of this? I think for so long I put everything off. And so this year I actually said, like, I am going to focus on my health. And this is the first step that I need to do for me. So I think now that I've been in the fertility treatment centers, then you realize all the things that you have to do to take care of your body. It's a lot.

And it's a lot. And it can be really overwhelming. And expensive. Oh my gosh. I know. So it's been, you know, I've just put my toe into, you know, what's next for me. And like I said, I just want to see what this next appointment, how everything is. and then we'll just go from there.

But it definitely is making me think about my health, especially as a woman, like what goes with our own health that's very different and more than I ever have. Because I think just for a while I didn't want to think about it. Yeah, but you're at the age where like you kind of have to. You could before, but now you do kind of have to. Yeah. Because to set yourself up for success for perimenopause and all the things that, like, I can't even believe I'm saying that.

It's like it all happens so fast and all of a sudden you're 40 and I'm doing so much, hormone therapy where you should, there's this place in Nashville. It's called ageless solutions. Okay. I go there for everything women's health because they are so knowledgeable. They care so much. There's these two women who I just skip into the office to see every time I go because they are passionate and they will take the time. And I've done so much blood work to see what supplements I should do. And then they don't force you to like for supplements down your throat. They just say like this would be really beneficial. And then we'll check your lab work and this. And then you can come on. off of it. And then like I've just been like trying to figure out and I'm on testosterone now and like a few supplements that I just feel so good right now in my body. See I need to do that. I've been really like

this was the first step. I have not been taking care of myself the way that I need to. Yeah. I don't like taking a bunch of pills. I get it. I will try for a while and then I'm like this is too much. I commit to the bit when you I commit to the bit because I get very like locked in if I do something and I notice a difference, I'm like, I need to get to the obsessive. Yes. Yeah. It does take time and patience. But you really do feel better. Yeah. I think it's a combination of how much I work out because I think I do it in a way where like I don't obsess about working out. I'm now at the point where I love lifting weights and I love Pilates. Yeah. So I'm pretty consistent with my workouts. It's more than others. I feel like you have that part down. So I'm like going to my workout right now. I haven't been because of

everything. And, um, But I'm going three days a week at least. So then I think taking supplements or like even a couple of different vitamins, daily vitamins, you will notice faster because your body's already being set up for success from moving it. Yes. Yeah. It's, I just think it's the most important therapy and like hormonal health and taking care of your body while still allowing yourself to have fun is like the most important thing. Adam's going to love that you said this to me because he tries. He's on me all the time.

In a very sweet way, yeah. About what, taking care of your body? Yes. What do you think you're doing that isn't taking care of it? I just won't take the things that he like will, he will literally make me a little supplement box and I'll be like, huh, I don't want to take this. It's also hard when somebody tells you. Honestly, maybe it's because he tells me.

That would be me. As soon as I do it for myself, I'm empowered if somebody else tells me to do it, I'm like, you. Yeah, maybe it's that. Maybe it's, I don't care who it is if they're telling me to do it. it, I have a hard time doing it for myself. Maybe that's it. So maybe it's telling them to back off.

Tell them to tell you to not do it. Amen. Tell him to start being like, you know what, do not take supplements, okay? The old like, what is the switcheroo called? The reverse psychology. Yeah, reverse psychology. Okay. I think that might be my love language.

I'm going to add that to the five. The sixth one is reverse psychology. I'm like, it works every time. Every time. That is funny, though. But talking about you and Adam, like, marriage. Obviously, I feel like people always ask like, what's different or what surprised you? But I feel like the two of you worked so hard at your relationship leading up to marriage that I would, I mean,

I'll hear from your mouth, but what has changed if anything? Not, yeah, not much really. I feel like we have a lot going on in our life right now. Like we literally just did demo like two days again. I know. And so I will say before that in making all those big decisions, I felt like we had a little bit more like friction because it was a lot of investment, a lot of like where we can be living for the next few months and just like, yeah, talking about family, like me having this surgery. You've had a lot of like life that's happened like since our first year of marriage. Here we go.

Yeah, yeah. But it's been good. And now we have all the tools like work through it. Yeah. I'm so glad that we had because if we didn't, oof. Well, I mean the surgery, renovating a house will. bring out anybody's true self. Like that's like, to do that with somebody. It's, I always say, like, I don't understand how couples can work together, like own a business together or work

together. I kind of agree. Because I'm just like, it's just so healthy to me to have, if you can do it, wow, bow down to you, like in a healthy way because I think we're just very set in our own ways too. And we like things a certain way. And that also comes with being like independent and getting hurt to the past. I'll just say that. Like, I don't know if I always like present that way, but I can be pretty harsh and critical. Like, no, I don't like it that way. That looks bad. And Adam is not that way.

That's okay. He's very tender. And so sometimes I'm like, we do not need to work together. And maybe it's because my parents talk to each other and us that way. Then I'm like, oh, does it bother me? Yeah. I mean. Well, that's another thing about like actually working on yourself before getting into a serious relationship is it's a blessing and a curse because you come with such

strength and like in your own belief system and that's such a beautiful thing but it's hard to like mesh two people who have done you know that kind of work on themselves and like their life so separately and that has proven to be successful to you yes to then mesh them together it's very hard to let go of a little bit of that to be able to become one yeah and it's not like letting go of yourself it's just i think relationships are a bit about compromise and and learning to become one together, which means, like, there's parts of you that, you know, he adapts to and vice versa. Well, learning and unlearning certain things about yourself, which is so hard.

I always just want to be right. I just want. And I think I am. So I'm confused on why I have to, like, back off. Yes, I'm like, why would I am, I'll tell you what I am learning. And it does take a soft, sensitive man who also is, like, strong. in what they believe but are, you know, a bit more. What did you, what did you say?

Softer or knew, you said a good word. Oh, yeah. What did I say? Tender. Tender. Great word. This is my PSA to all men. You have to be so educated on a woman's body if you want to understand them.

Because the hormonal shit that we go through, especially if you're pumping your body of estrogen, progesterone, anything that's like, the fact that we have to hold our own relationships that are so big and then try and hold other people's feelings on top. of that time is so impossible. And I'm like, I get that I need to work on being a bit harsh 30 days of the month, but let me have five because it's not changing. And I need forgiveness in that time. I will say Adam is very good about that. It drives me crazy when he's like, I start my period and he's like, yeah. Yeah. You're like, okay, we got through that one. Yeah. He's like, it does happen every month. And I'm like, I'm going to hurt you, but you're right.

Every time. But he is pretty, he is, he's just gentle with me for the most part. But he will be very aware of where I'm at and, you know, have to just take it. Well, there's, my girlfriend sent me, damn, I should know the app. There's an app that you can get to share with your partner so that they know when it's coming at. And there's like an amber alert. When it's happening. She's not okay right now.

Not friendly. Give her a diet co. Stat. Don't talk to her. Get her ice roller. And don't be for be. And do not. Do not even dare.

Flirt with the idea of bringing up your feelings. Oh, no. We don't care. No. We don't care. Okay. Now that that BSA is out there, I hope that goes viral to all the men's accounts. Okay, something that comes around.

Every summer and somehow still manages to stress people out every single time. Wedding season. Because on one hand, summer weddings, elite. They're fun, usually in a beautiful location. Everyone's in a good mood. But on the other hand, what to wear? Why is this always such a hard thing? I swear every time I get an invite, I open it and immediately zoom in on the dress code,

and I'm trying to decode a puzzle. It'll say something like black tie optional or formal. And I'm like, okay, but what does that mean for me specifically? Because they can mean very different things depending on the wedding. And I have definitely had moments like standing in my closet the night before, trying things on, texting friends, sending mirror picks like, is this right? Am I doing too much, too little? and the worst is when you show up and immediately scan the room to see if you got it right.

Like, am I aligned with the group or did I completely miss the mark? So I feel like once you actually understand the dress codes, it takes so much of the stress out of it. Like black tie, this is your moment to go all out. Floor-length gowns, really dressy fabrics, satin, chiffon, maybe a little sparkle, it's glam. Black tie optional is a little more forgiving, I would say. You can still do a long dress, but a really elevated midi works well too. formal is similar but you don't need to go as heavy on the glam still polished still elevated a little more relaxed and then cocktail is where it gets fun that's that's what i would do i feel like that's where you can play

with shorter dresses interesting cuts textures a little more personality and i feel like once you know that you can actually enjoy picking something out instead of doing what i do best spiraling also can we talk about rewearing dresses for a second because i feel like there used to be this pressure to have a new outfit for every wedding. I disagree. We're not doing that anymore, okay? My biggest hack is just switching up the accessories. Like one wedding, you do bold statement earrings and then like strappy heels or something in the next you. Change shoes, add stacked bangles, maybe a different bag and a shawl. I don't know, something that feels like a different outfit. And honestly, accessories are just everything. They really take a simple dress and make it feel styled.

So this summer especially, there are some really good trends happening that actually make wedding dressing easier, been seen a lot of asymmetry, one-shoulder dresses or uneven hemlines that just kind of move nicely when you walk or, of course, dance. Also, anything sheer and flowy, like soft chiffon, really airy fabrics that don't cling. It's effortless, very feminine and practical when it's hot out. And then there's crochet, like not beach cover-up crochet, of course. It's more elevated, like a fine knit with shimmer, and it's subtle but really pretty. And I feel like all those trends are things that you can actually wear again, which I feel like is important. And this is where I feel like Macy's really comes in clutch because they have all of it in one place. So no matter what the dress

coat is, you can find something that works and feels like you. But what I didn't realize until recently, and I'm kind of mad I didn't know the sooner is that Macy's has personal stylists. I know I've talked to you guys about this before, but you can literally book a free session. Tell them what wedding you're going to, what the dress code is, what your vibe is, and they're going to help you pull together a full look head to toe, which honestly would have saved me from, well, one, pre-wedding meltdowns, but also two, it would have saved me a lot of money. And the best part is it's your first session. So you get 20% off your purchase. So not only are you getting help, you're also saving money. We love it. I just feel like anything that makes wedding season easier and

more fun, I'm here for, and I'm here to share that news with you because at the end of the day, you want to feel good in what you're wearing, so you can actually enjoy the night. Like, eat the food, Drink the champagne, dance to crazy in love. I don't know why that song just came to me, but all of it. So if you have weddings coming up and you don't want to overthink this year, Macy's has you covered. Head to Macy's.com slash personal stylist to book your free session and find your perfect wedding guest look.

So I feel like every few months I do a closet clean out. Honestly, I do feel like it's every few months. And then I think, why am I still holding on to all of this stuff? Some things I haven't worn in, I don't know, years. And then some things I bought for one event and then never touched again. something still have the tags, but that's actually why I've always loved Poshmark. I used to sell pieces from my own closet that deserve a second life instead of just, you know, sitting there taking up space. And honestly, it is kind of satisfying when someone else gets excited about something that

you weren't wearing anymore. And it doesn't hurt to make a little extra money. But it's not just for selling. I've learned. I've also spent plenty of time browsing Poshmark because I just feel like you can find some really good deals. There's millions of new. pre-loved pieces on there. And whether you're looking for brands like Reformation, Viori, free people, or even luxury pieces like Louis Vuitton, there's just always something fun to discover. So it feels like, I don't know, a little bit of treasure hunting, if you will. So whether you're looking to refresh your closet, make a little extra money, or finally track down that piece that you've been searching for forever, Poshmark is such a great place to start. So new deals and styles are listed

every single day. Don't wait. Download the Poshmark app today. And use code Vine when you sign up to get $10 off your first purchase. Has it been a year since you've been married? It will be in like two months. Like you were just on my podcast talking about before the wedding. What the hell? It's crazy. Life goes way too fast.

Gosh. It is really crazy. I feel like I talk about it too much, actually. Just how crazy time is to me. And it really just. And then I have the same. It makes me sad. I'm like, where does it go?

Well, and that's, I have the same. of fears as you with like such large commitments of like a child or marriage and like I take those things so seriously but then you blink and you're like all of a sudden I'm turning 41 next month and I'm like huh yeah I'm a baby I don't understand yeah and then I go okay it's not even about like I don't feel pressure like societal pressure to have a baby well I still I mean we all will but it's but it's my own age now where I'm like I still have my eggs frozen okay so what that's still might not be enough. I was in a photo shoot yesterday, and I was like, it was the first time that hit me like,

oh, I'm not, I'm not old. No. Like, I'm in a, like, a full on adult. Like, I'll be like, I would talk about, oh, you know, they're like, they're older than me. And I realize I'm the oldest one in this, in this room. Like, it's all these Gen Zs helping me take my pictures. And I'm like, they're just like, telling me what to do. And I'm like, I feel so uncomfortable right now.

I know. and there's so much cooler than us. They're so cool. And I'm not cool at all and it's upsetting, but also I don't want to try to be cool either. I was just much effort. Yeah, I was good to say sometimes I try still to be like, because I do love Gen Z fashion. Yeah. But you're losing me right now at Capri Pants.

The Capri Pants are. Capri Pants with a kitten heel is really hard for me to accept. Big calves, strong calves. Strong. You will not catch me in a Capri. I don't think I could. I make fun of my sister all the time for being in Capri's and jokes on. me because she's ahead of her time.

My style is not Ginzy at all. I'm like at all. But you've cute style. I like my style. It's very feminine. It's cute. But it does not really match the time and I'm okay with that. And I noticed that very vividly in the room that I was in of all these young kids.

I'm like, oh. Yeah. But they do make me feel more confident about like less is more with certain things. Like makeup and they're more minimal these days. And I'm like, I love that. Yeah. a smaller brow, which I'm like great because I already have small brows and I try and fill them in all the time. Oh, yours look really good. I could say they're small. I would not say they're small at all.

I want them smaller. I do too. I want mine small too. Yeah. I saw Alex Earle take her sister or something and to like to, her sister had the most perfect bra I've ever seen. And then she waxed it just a tiny bit and it was even smaller. And I was like, fire. It looks so good. I thought about that too. Like I've been wanting to do that because my eyebrows are really big. Yeah. No. What? Do you ever do you ever look? back it. Were you laminating your eyebrows at one point? And does it just freak you out? Yeah, because I also was coloring them so dark, like too dark on top of the brow lamination. And then my Botox was bad. Oh, everyone was calling me the Grinch. It was those days or bad days. Yeah. Why did we do that? I, you know what? I remember someone calling me out and I was like, what are they talking about? And then I saw the photo that, and I remember it was like a reminder from two years ago or something. And I was like, they were right. They were right. They were out. Absolutely right.

Exactly like that. I literally looked like the Grinch. Not a good time, but. It's okay. We're all, they're going to do the same thing. They're going to do the same thing. Okay, I like it and I want a scarf to put around my waist. I think that's really cute.

It is cute. But aren't we, I think we're going to look back and be like, why were we putting the scarf around our waist? They will. I promise you, Gen Z, people have even watched this podcast, you probably don't. You will look back at Caprize and go, that was a mistake. Yes. But that's just part of the full circle of. What?

Do you remember gauchos? No. A Canadian thing. What's bad? They were like the caprice, but they were like wide and they were like the stretchy material. You don't know what a gaucho is? No. Guys, help me out.

You know what a gaucho? It was not good. Did you know what I got? Do you know what I'm talking about? You do? Oh. What do you? Are those in again?

Not yet. They will be. Then the gaucho is going to happen and then they're going to be embarrassed. I still can't accept that low rise are a thing. Okay. So I kind of like a low rise. A bag of low rise. I know.

I was going to say, I feel like I've seen a low rise on you and you pull it I can't. See, I look kind of bad in like a high waist because I think somewhere where my waist hits, I sometimes look a little boxy. I can, I can't, I can't. I can't. How do you sit down? You can't. You can't. I want the low ride that you could like still pull up, you pull up when you sit down, but the tight one, what about a tight low ride capri? I'm out of here. I'm out of here. I'm getting hives. This is uncomfortable. Okay, do want to talk about renovations. because we were kind of touching on it. You just did a demo two days ago, did you say? Yeah. Okay. So you had to fully move out of your house. I had to fully move everything out of my house.

That's a lot. It was a lot. Yeah. And I don't think I realized how much of a lot it was. Yeah. How did you not? To me, just like, I'm overwhelmed for you. And I would say I'm not the best planner and neither is Adams.

That's something we both can really work on. Yeah. And we had a very, we had like every weekend we were. We're gone. And then the weekend came, we're like, we have to move out. And we both are working. Are you in Airbnb? No, we are in Todd and, our friends, Katie. Yeah. We are in a friend's guest house. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So we're there for just a little bit. And then we're going to move to Alabama. So with my parents. Oh, I thought you made for good. And I was like, I'm going to do. No, okay, that makes sense. Just hang out with my parents. Okay, that's cute. Yeah.

Oh, that'll be nice. Wait, I don't see her to ask. Um, how's your dog? Oh, my dog. Okay, okay. Didn't your dog have like heartworm or something last time? Oh, that was my mom's. Yeah, one of our dogs. Dog at home. Oh, okay. The golden retriever. Oh, sorry, yes, not your dog at home. I know. Yes. He's still okay. Yeah, he's still kicking. But I definitely think it impacted his health. Okay. So I'm excited to go back and see Roscoe. Yeah. And I think with Wally and my mom just got a smaller dog too, they all just have so much fun together. It brings a little life into the old. man. It's true. I always say Pino keeps ramen young. I really believe that's a thing. So, okay, how long are we expecting this reno to take? And also, you're like, you must be fully redoing. The house that I dropped your soup off at? Yeah. Oh, it already looked so great. That's like, what are you doing? I'm like, just let me do it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So it's seven months. Yeah. Which is a lot. And I don't understand why it's going to take so long. I think because they say seven months it's going to be a year. Don't say that. I'm sorry, but I'm trying to like mentally prepare you

for that. I don't understand because like we, yes, we are doing, we're touching every room, but we're not like taking, well, one room we're taking down to the studs, but. Okay. Oh, okay. So you're doing like a lot of a facelift. A lot of a facelift, even though like people were like, it was already, when we bought it, it had a facelift, but I wanted to be like. So funny. I want I want a Chris Jenner facelift. Okay. exciting. Yeah. Because that's a good one. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the plan. We'll see because, wow, like it is so much to do. And just in a few days of starting, like, things like, oh, sorry, it's actually going to be this much. We're going to do this. I was going to say, are you crying over lighting yet? Are you still in the beginning phases? No, we're getting to the place where we're wanting to cry about how expensive everything is. But you've bananas.

But it's like at this point, what do you do? Well, you don't move to New York because life will get a lot more expensive. Yeah. I'm like, Pilates is $60 for a drop in. Okay, I'm being dramatic, but that are you, you're probably not being drunk. Not that far off. It's really stressing me out. Yeah.

And then I'm like, I feel like we're kind of similar. Like, I feel like I like nice things, but I'm not like. I'm not a ding dong about my bank account. Yeah. Yeah. And so anytime I'm like, that I don't understand. Like, we don't need. Like, I want to.

I don't need like a mazorati of the chandelier. Like give me like a, but not like an Amazon dupe. No. I need that middle of the row, but I also like just, especially with design stuff, I think I can be very particular. Oh. And so I really want this house to look a certain way. And so we're just going to, you know what? It'll be, it's one of those things somebody talked to me about the other day.

She's a very, very successful businesswoman. And she said, when you put the money out into something that makes you happy, the money will come back in. I love that. So you just keep. I mean, that's, but doing it with somebody else. Like, guys, was it you that I was just saying it's hard to do business with, like, it would be hard to do business with somebody? Yeah. Like, we said that about like our partner.

Yes. Yeah. But renovating a house, I mean, it's, money is always a tough subject in relationships, finance, budget, style. Where are you guys at with, do you, are you on the same page with those? Those kinds of things. Or are you like, I like this and he has different taste. No, we have the same taste. Right.

He's totally fine at being my Barbie dream house. He's like, just like do whatever you want to. Yeah. He did. He was like, do we have to have pink bar stools? Like, can we do? Can we do Navy? And like, Navy super cute.

Like we are, we're adding some of his things that he likes in it. But he is definitely on the same page as me as like what we want the house to be. That's nice. I think sometimes he's still like, I just don't understand like why it's this much. But yeah, I think we have some type of like strife. I don't want to say strife. But we have differences of like what's in like how much things are going to be. Totally.

And what's important in that way. But overall, like he's pretty supportive of me just doing what I want to do. That's pretty nice. Yeah. Just that's, yeah. I can't really talk me out of it. Well, that's the thing. And I'm just telling you, like, there was a man who set up my apartment in New York to just, like, have a couch and bed and like a little kitchen nook.

And when I walked in, I just laughed so hard because I was like, why would you put the couch there? Like, what in your brain? Looked at that room and went. And of course, I'm learning to not say things out loud. I'm just like, and when I walked, I was just like, thank you so much for your help. I'll take it from here. Yes. Oh, Adam did all that.

It was so sweet. because we were trying to figure out what we're doing in our house is a lot of changing one room used to be the dining room and now it's going to be the living room and switching things so we were trying to figure out if we could keep our couch and he was moving it to all these rooms

and I'm like and I was gone I was thinking I was working this was like last year I'm like that looks awful we can not have the couch under the bar of the kitchen like we can it's not really going to work it's so funny they're like cute little like

for trying. But move it back. Yeah. With a bad would thank you so much. Like, it is, it's hard. It is, see, when they're sweet, you want to thank them for just trying at least. Yes. Yeah. That's so relatable. What is your most toxic trait in renovations? Probably like just any type of like decision making. That would be mine, too. Like I'm so indecisive. And then I'll be like, no, that wasn't. Actually, I hate that what I just picked. So I'm for sure one the other thing. Yeah. And then you go into other people's homes. This is what. I do and I go, oh, I want that.

Yeah. Then I go back to my house and I'm like, I should have done that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really hoping that I just do this the way that I want. I think what's hard for me is, you know, we have so many successful friends and have the, like, I'm trying to be really comfortable with, like, I have the cutest house. And this is perfect for, like, our stage of life.

And it's not, I don't think this is my forever home. But how do I make this, like, the best home for us right now. Yeah. And that's what I'm really trying to do of like serve this home that we're into the best of my ability. And you will. And that's what I'm going to do.

Yeah, exactly. And so if that means that we got to add in a few more projects into this, we'll do it. Yeah. And you come out stronger from it. Yeah, absolutely. And happier because you'll be like, wow, this really is my dream home. Yeah. That's so excited.

And you guys are in obviously such a great area. and like for resale value and like everything you're going to be like this is awesome. Like it's where we live is a very like walkable cool area. You don't have like much yard space, but you can walk everywhere. And there still is yard space. And there is still like, yeah, it's not nothing. Yeah. I forget like now in New York.

That would be like amazing to have that much. But I'm like I'm using this company called Fresh Patch that has grass. You know them? We use that and we're in L.A. Oh, yes. Yes. It's brilliant. But I need.

When you see. that's for an extra large dog. I'm like, I'm going to need it to be at least five times the size of that. It's a grass pad for ants. It's so small. We had one, but I'm sure you can't do this. And there was a, like a big garbage can. Yeah. What are those called? Dumpster. I was like, well, I don't know. It's a very large garbage can. Okay. There was a dumpster by our apartment when we lived in L.A. that was just like right out. And we had like this big balcony. And those things get gross. Just so you know. I've noticed. But so we did not want to walk down. So we would just like, Adam had a great aim.

You just throw it out. That's brilliant. And we just make sure the thing was open. But those things get nasty. Well, I wonder, because in my building there's a garbage shoot. I'm like, can I just roll it up and throw it down the garbage chute? I hope you can. Should I ask for forgiveness later?

Absolutely. Absolutely. But those things are great for a city dog, like experience. Yes. But yeah, the grass is. I'm going to need like, and they're expensive. so I'm like, I'm going to need like 10 of them. Well, good.

Shoot. What is, what are you feeding these dogs? Two big dogs and they're like, the grass is only this big. And they're not used to that. They actually are adapting so well. I'm very proud of them. I'm very proud of them. They literally, I was like, go to the bathroom and they go, okay.

And they just figured it out. And I thought, Ramin at first was a little like, I'm going to need some grass because Pino can literally just help poop in the middle of the street, which is amazing. If I say, you can go to the bathroom here. He's like, oh. And he just goes. Raman's like, no, ma'am, I need to like do eight circles and find where the proper sniff and ground is on grass. And then I need to kick dirt on it after.

So he's really, I'm really proud of it. But he's doing the good job. Yeah. We love that. I'm really proud of them. Okay. Tell me about this book. So this is my third romance novel.

You know, I did like quarter life memoir. But yeah, this is my third. Third one of these guys. And it's really pretty, too. I think so, too. It is that like I would be drawn to that. book if it was just sitting on a shelf. Okay. I love to hear that. This is my favorite cover. This is my favorite book.

It is. Yes. Well, tell me why. Reasons to be loved by you. So obviously, I'm sure a lot of people who listen to this podcast, like watch The Bachelor Bachelorette. And this Nikki Bennett is, has been on reality, a reality dating show. That's the main character in the book. That's the main character of the book. And her, my life experiences are very much, um, the inspiration. for some of hers. So she goes on this dating show, picks this guy. He ends up, he was lying to her the whole time.

He had a girlfriend back at home the whole time. And she's like, where did my life go? I need to go back home and just like figure my life out. And when she's home, she's surprised with her brother bringing his girlfriend that he wants to marry. And that ends up being her ex's ex-fiance's ex. Uh-huh. And that, if people know, that is a lot like what has happened in my own life. And so definitely, like, has a lot of those little things of my life.

Which is perfect for a book because you think of that and you're like, yeah, right. That's not real. That's not really. So it's perfect for the, like, the basis of the book started. But it really is about Nikki, like, going back home. She's dealt with, like, perfectionism in her whole life. and now her life's like exploded and she doesn't really know how to like love or accept herself. And she goes back and she's obviously dealing with all this information about her family and her brother. She's like, I just want to sabotage this wedding. And she enlist the help of Kara, the ex's ex, her brother. And they end up just like having this instant connection.

But he's very different than anybody that she's ever dated before. but she's like, I can't do this. And anyway, they have this, like, really fun banter. And really, the book is about self-acceptance, family, and kind of finding love in an unexpected way with an unexpected person and being stronger on the other side of it. I love that. All right. Well, obviously, we both can relate to having our dating drama play out on, you know, just national television. Not a big deal.

and from what you were just saying about the main character in your book, I can already tell this plot is going to just pop off. Speaking of which, have you heard me talk about my Eminem's Popped Caramel? I think I've mentioned them on my last podcast, but it truly is my current favorite treat as I've been diving into all those crazy twists and turns and chapters and drama and reality TV. But they're freeze dried and oh my gosh, they're just so good. They have this completely unexpected like airy crunch to them, but it still has that classic Eminem's caramel flavor. It's so good. But seriously, I just had to whip these out again because they are the perfect snack for when you're reading, watching, or in your case, writing the drama, which reminds me, I have to ask you about this. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Now,

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Thank you. I'm really excited about this book. And yeah, like it's obviously based off of the experiences that I've had, but it was fun to be able to, you know, have Nikki react in ways maybe I didn't feel like life allowed me to react in those ways. And I don't think I could have written this book when I started. Fair. If that makes sense?

Like, because our people are like, oh, why was this not the first book? Right. But I needed room for like our life to breathe and be where it is now. Yeah, because I always say the benefit of hindsight. Yes. You're able to look at it through a different lens. book is so hopeful and everyone, even in my own life, like, we've gone through some crazy drama to get to where my family is today. But, oh, there's so much love and joy and it made it

really fun and special to write this book where we are now. I think it's nice for people to also see someone who is so put together, also talk about mess and dysfunction. For sure. Because everyone has it. I remember being so confused when my parents would argue or when our family felt dysfunctional, I remember thinking nobody else's family does this. Why does my family do this? And then once people are more honest and open about the messy parts of life, there's not one person that doesn't relate to it.

Absolutely. I mean, families, we don't get to choose them. And they're wonderful, but there is always going to be crap in your closet of your family. And everybody has it. Yeah. And I love talking about, in this book specifically, like how you learn to grow with your family. And, you know, especially as an adult, like, changed the way that you relate to your family members and growing and becoming your own person. Like, I think that's so important.

But also just in life in general, like, I love writing characters, women, specifically, that don't have it all figured out. and have to kind of go on this journey and you see the parts of them that maybe we would probably want to hide about ourselves in these characters and you're rooting for them. So it kind of makes you want to root for yourself because a lovely thought. Yeah. Like, oh my gosh, if they deserve love, so do I.

And if they can get through this, so can't. Isn't it funny that we have to put ourselves in a different light to like love ourselves and trust ourselves and let go of shame? Because you're like, I see you as a. character. Oh, right. I talked to maybe characters or friends, like, they'll do something stupid. And I'm like, it's okay. Yeah. That was maybe not the best choice. But with myself, I'm like, you stupid little, you know, same. The shame spirals we put ourselves through. I'm like,

is it more, is it harder to, like, thinking of family and like loving through hard times, is it harder to forgive family or yourself? I think it's always harder to forgive yourself. I think so, right? I was thinking that. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking that. Yeah. I think so too. I actually think I am, I'm so quick to forgive. I'm a delight. But I do think I have learned the importance of forgiveness for other people. But for myself, definitely harder. Because it's freeing to forgive people. I don't want them actually having any more headspace. Yeah, you're like, that's enough about them. Yeah, that's absolutely. If I could just, you know, not be so self-absorbed in my head about myself and my own thoughts, well, we'd all be.

Thank you for your honesty. Happier. Yeah. I just love when people are just real. And I mean, I do. I'm like, oh my gosh, stop thinking about yourself and what they can't do wrong and how you can do this. I know. I was just talking to anxiety.

Yeah. That's what we like to call intrusive thought and also ego. Yeah. I was just talking to the doctor that was in here before about ego and death of ego and like putting it away and it's so it is hard for everyone not just you. So hard. Was it freeing? I think we kind of just answered this.

Freeing more to talk about it through story. Yes. Because like you said, you were able to reflect. Like, yeah. Yes, it was really great to be able to share some of my experiences through a story that. And I think also like I already said like with like a eagle's eye, at it. Like, I'm not in the story anymore. Like, it was a part of me, but like, I'm kind of out here. So it was really fun to be able to dive into it in a really fun, lighthearted way.

This book is really lighthearted, but it does have a lot of heart in it. And it just looks like a good summer read. Like, it just looked like that. Don't you want to be at the lake? I do. I want to be in that boat. Or, you know, a pool, wherever it is. An ocean, any body of water. I want to be in that book by you. Oh my gosh. I have the perfect TikTok I'm going to do with your book. Perfect. I just thought of it. Okay. I'll tell you after. I want to spoil it. I guess by the time this comes out, I'll probably post it. Anyways, have you liked it and commented. Yeah. If you have, then you can move on. Yeah. I mean, obviously you'll get it wherever you can buy books. Are you going to do a book signing again? I am going to do a book signing. I'm actually going to Audrey's. Sweetness. Oh, I love that. Ashley, I'm so excited. I just saw them.

the other night and I just, they're two of my favorite people. They're so kind. And they're so real and kind and like, they care about people so much and they ask questions and they're sweet. I just love them. I'm so excited for them in the housewives experience. Me too. I'm just, there are people I root for so hard.

Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, that'll be exciting. When are you going? Or when can people see where you're going when? So I'll start. I'm going to be on book tour all of release week. I'm going to Connecticut, Rhode Island.

Island. I'll be here in New York for like a split second, Nashville, Austin, and Orlando. Oh, Orlando. That's going to be really fun. That's so fun. Those are good spots to go to. I feel like that's good Bachelor Nation crowds. Absolutely. So I would love to see you guys out there. Oh, I love that. Okay. Well, when you come back to New York, let me know. I'll come to the book signing. For sure. I can't wait to literally dive into your book. I feel like you really will like this book. Because obviously, like we're going to relate to some of Nikki, too. Totally. They're like, oh, was it fun to create your own dating show? I was like, yeah. And I really had a lot of experience of figuring out how this all works.

No, I'm not kidding. When I read your first two books, I was so impressed. Thank you. Like truly because I am picky about books. And when I get into something I'm in. Yeah. Same thing with vitamins and supplements. When I'm in, I'm locked in.

And I felt that way with both your books. Like, I actually enjoyed every second of it. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm excited. maybe I'll bring the book club back together again for a rendezvous. Yeah. I mean, I'll join.

I'm really sad that I let go of the book club because it was such a fun thing for me and I just got, it was too crazy. But I want to bring it back because it brought me a lot of joy. Yeah. Reading is just like my favorite activity. And it probably made you make sure that you made that a priority. 100%. Yeah. I did.

And I loved it because who doesn't feel good after reading a book? Absolutely. That last page and you go, ah. And then you're like, lots of sense. Yeah. I read real books. Okay. And then tell everybody, obviously, they probably already follow.

you, but where they can find you. Yeah, you can find me on the gram, the gram, TikTok, all the places. And yeah, if you're interested in getting a book, you can go to my link in bio or you can get the book wherever books are sold. You didn't say the name of your Instagram and TikTok. Oh, but my, oh, they're Hannah Brown. Actually, I think my TikTok is Hannah K. Brown. I actually have no idea. I love that. What are yours? Just Caitlin Bristow? Every platform I'm on is just cute. Are there a lot of Caitlin Bristos in the world? I don't think one. No way.

I don't think so. There's a lot of Hannah Brown. Well, that's what happens when you're Southern League. And not a weird little Canadian. Well, I love you so much. Thank you so much. And again, let me know when you're in. Well, I'll let you know when I'm in Nashville.

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That is so fetch. On Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. Hi, I'm Stasi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives. give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with, like human design.

It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it. And you will too. Listen to my podcast, Dossie, wherever you get your podcasts.