Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Home For The Holidays Special!
Episode Date: December 19, 2017Kaitlyn is joined by her co-stars of her Broadway show--American Idol's Candice Glover, The Voice's Josh Kaufman, and America's Got Talent's Bianca Ryan--to talk about their behind-the-scenes... stories on set, as well as their respective paths in their music careers they took through reality television. Happy holidays everyone! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine.
I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and we've got three lovely guests in the studio today,
Josh Kaufman, Candace Glover, and Bianca Ryan.
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Last one presents Off The Vine with Caitlin Bristow.
Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves.
Get ready for lots of laughs, tabby topics, on filtered advice, and wine.
Lots of wine.
Get ready to shake things up.
Here's Caitlin.
Okay, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine.
I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and we have three very special guests in the studio today, three people that I have the pleasure of sharing a stage with on
Broadway. I always say it like that.
Broadway.
For our show home for the holidays.
We've got Josh Kaufman, Candace Glover,
and Bianca Ryan in the studio.
Yay!
I've never done a podcast with this many people.
Oh, really? Yeah, this is my first, like,
group go. I'm pretty excited about it.
It's nice to have a lot of different voices,
because otherwise I'm like, I talk a lot.
So we all come from the sweet, sweet world
of reality television.
I'm sure all of our experiences are
very different. So Josh, you won
the voice. Yes. What season was, six?
Season six, yeah. Okay.
Candace, you won American Idol.
Season 12.
And Bianca, you won America's Got Talent.
The premiere season. The first season.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
That was season. How many seasons have they done now?
I'm not sure.
A lot. A lot, yeah.
Do you still watch?
I don't really watch as much anymore, but I do watch the highlight clips that are like
obviously go viral on like Facebook now.
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
That's so crazy.
I like the girl that just won the little, what did she do?
The ventriloquist, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Incredible.
She was so cute and so good, and she's funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's good.
Okay, so Josh, let's start with you.
First of, I ask you as you take a sip of water.
First of all, you have five kids.
Yes, I do.
Let's just address that off the bat because that is like, that's more impressive than
winning the voice, if you ask me.
It's at least as difficult, though.
You just came in.
I just have a really loud laugh
No, no, no, it keeps cutting in it out on my left ear more
But I'll ignore it, it's cool
You know what, that's, I like about podcasting
And you know, some stuff is just raw and it happens
And we just go with the flow
Anyways, you have five kids
That I just, I want to like bow down to you
Because I'm, how do you do that?
I mean
You just make it work
Yeah, I think it's one of those things that like
You don't have a choice
Yeah, you just do make it
It's not like you're ever going to be like, well, I think we're just going to
take some time off. Yeah, we're just going to have two for a couple weeks here. And then we'll get back
to the five. I mean, yeah, you just do it. And it's, it's difficult, especially like with, you know,
my, my wife has to be a superhero in these times when I have to be gone for extended periods of time.
Because she's a nurse, is that right? Yeah. So she probably has crazy hours overnight and then has to be a full-time mom.
Yeah, exactly. Which is wild.
Fortunately, her family lives around us. So she gets some help. Indianapolis.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
Yeah, that's, yeah, that's so wild.
Family, thank you for that.
I'm one of five.
You one of five?
I'm one of five.
Oh, you're one of five.
Yeah.
Oh.
So I know how they do it.
They just, they have the baby and they say, okay, bye.
Oh, my gosh.
We try not.
That's great.
Oh, you're one of five.
Do you have brothers or sisters, Candace?
I'm one of seven.
One of seven.
Oh, so you guys are just both sitting here like, shut up, Caitlin.
It's five, yeah, it's manageable.
My mom, my parents adopted five of them, though.
Wow.
So, myself and my brother are the only two biological kids.
Oh, that's cool.
And then the other five are adopted.
It's never a dull moment.
I will say that.
Oh, that's awesome.
Seven.
Wow, good for, okay.
Well, sorry, Josh.
We all just won up you.
Yeah, apparently.
There you go.
Well, I do have six stepsisters, and that's a story in itself.
That sounds like a Cinderella story.
Yeah, but it's not.
No, I actually love them all, but it's so funny because I'm just not, I'm not home.
I'm not even, you know, we went to high school together, actually, which is crazy, but
my parents remarried after high school.
So I'm like, what's up, friend from high school?
So are your kids here?
Your family's here right now, right?
In New York?
No, they were here for like a week over Thanksgiving.
And then because of school, obviously they have to be done.
But they'll be back for, like, the Christmas break.
Oh, perfect.
Oh, okay, that's nice.
before Christmas. That's exciting. That is exciting. And I feel like, okay, so I obviously just
was doing my research. So I YouTubeed all of you guys numerous times, which I already did before
that. But what do you mean? Oh God, Candace. It's like the best thing in the world. I loved it.
I was going to be late today because I couldn't stop watching you guys sing. So Josh, you had all
the judges turn for you, which is very impressive. It was cool. Yeah, it is. I don't know what
I would do like if nobody turned around me. That would be the saddest thing.
the world but then i'm like how do you keep your cool when they when like adam levin's like yeah
you're awesome and he turns how do you keep your cool up there you know for me though i was so
it that was the most stressful performance i've ever done really the the great thing about
adam is that when a lot of times when he likes somebody he turns around really quick and so actually
that wasn't like anything to handle that was just like okay thank god got it out of the way
if i fall off the stage right now like i still have his team exactly that's true
And if anything, that's just like, that probably boosts your confidence.
And then you're like, oh, I'm killing it right now.
That's how I'd be.
I'm like, oh, what's up, Adam?
I'd sing my best.
And then, okay, so wait, I didn't watch the whole season.
I always just watch clips.
But so you ended up with Usher?
Yeah.
So, how does that work?
Okay, so they have the blind audition, right?
Yeah.
You try to get people to turn around.
And then if multiple people turn around, you pick your team.
And I picked Adam Levine partly because he was the first one to turn around.
And that made me think, well, you know, he's the most...
He believes in me.
Into what I'm doing.
Yeah.
So, but, uh, so then they have the battle rounds where, like, people who are on the same team, like, that's basically how the coaches weed down their team.
They put two people up against each other and then they pick one of them.
Yeah.
But whoever they don't pick, one of the other coaches has a couple of steals that they can use and they can steal that person.
So I lost my second battle.
against somebody actually who Candace knows, a guy named Delvin Choice.
Oh, really?
Wow.
Yeah. A really great singer.
But yeah, I lost to him.
I was immediately stolen by Usher.
So I ended up on Usher's team.
I think I know I was the first person to win after being stolen.
I think I might still be the only person.
Oh, that's cool.
And do you ever just say that sentence over and over to yourself?
Like, Adam Levine, pick me, but Usher stole me.
So then I won the voice.
Well, it was really cool.
Like, I, in the end, I was, it was pretty fortunate because I liked being able to have, like, you know, I had, like, kind of the opportunity to interact with both of them and get input from both of them.
That's cool.
And so they're, like, they're your coaches.
Right.
So how much do they actually, like, how much time do you actually spend with your coach?
Yeah, it, um, obviously when they first pick their teams, there's 12 people on each team.
So it's limited.
But as you move through the.
show um and the teams get smaller and there's fewer people you get more one on one time with the coach and for
me i was really fortunate because um usher's team other than me got eliminated oh kind of where
there were several weeks left so i was kind of his only one for the last few weeks of the show so
i really got a lot of like one on one let's do this let's focus on this song yeah that's kind of like
the bachelor like at first everyone's like how much time do you get to spend with the guys i'm like
Oh, like nothing, but as you wean down and you get more one-on-one time, then you really get to spend time with that person.
Do you still keep in touch with Usher?
No, not really.
Not really.
Adam?
I think I was at the disadvantage because of the fact that that was the last season he did.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So it was kind of like he was focused on the voice for that.
And then I think he sort of moved on to his other stuff, which obviously has plenty of other stuff to worry about.
Yeah, that's true.
He has other friends like Justin Bieber and stuff.
That's crazy.
Okay, and Candace, you won American Idol.
Two things stand out to me from that.
Okay.
The fact that you auditioned twice before winning, blows my mind.
And then the fact that Nikki Minaj said she wanted to skin you and wear you,
that was like the most aggressive thing I've ever heard anyone say it.
And then I'm like, is that?
As a compliment.
As a compliment.
And then do you take it as a compliment?
Or are you like, that's actually pretty scary?
I don't know.
That was the year when Nikki Minaj was getting like really popular.
Yeah.
So I was like, I loved all her music.
And she could say whatever she wanted to me at that point.
Absolutely, yeah.
I mean, if she said that to me, I'd feel pretty flattered, but I'd also be like I'm scared.
I'm scared.
So, yeah, tell us, you audition twice and you made it to, you know, when they say, oh, you're going to Hollywood, or is that what they say?
Yeah.
Well, you get the golden ticket or whatever.
So I made it to Hollywood all the times.
Yeah.
So I did the first two times, and I made it to Hollywood the first time.
And Simon was a judge at that point.
Yeah.
And Simon was one of the ones who were, like, not team Candace at all.
What?
How could he not?
I don't know, but, you know, when I did my first audition, I sang,
Because You Love Me by Celine Dion.
Yeah.
But they, like, get in your head.
Right.
They get in your head, though, because they come around the room and it's like,
don't do any runs.
Like, we want to hear the tone of your voice.
So I completely stripped my whole audition, and I feel like it kind of made it kind of
boring.
Oh.
So looking back on it, I can kind of see why Simon would be like, that's boring.
You know what I mean?
But still, he, you know, yeah, but, I mean, of course you want to prove Simon wrong
and I'm on Broadway so yeah exactly
what's up Simon
you don't listen to my podcast but whatever
that's awesome
but yeah but um so I made it to Hollywood
still because Ellen DeGeneres was a judge
that season and she loved me I love her
um did she smell good
yes she does okay what did her hair smell
you guys are all looking at me like I'm crazy but I've said this
on other podcast I'm obsessed with Ellen so I'm always like
do you smell her hair because I would really no I didn't smell
her hair but she smells pretty good just
just in general you know
I bet she does
I don't know what I picture.
Like, I just feel like she'd smell like Christmas or something.
Yeah, like, and she was a fan of mine, so I was like loving it, you know.
Did you ever get to go on her show?
No, I never got to go on the show.
Dang.
But you got to, she was a judge on your season.
Yeah, she was a judge.
So she, like, complimented me and stuff.
So I was, I didn't make it that far that season.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
And then the second time, I skipped a year and waited for Simon to leave.
Yeah.
And so then I did, um, I didn't do season 10.
I did season 11.
And that was the season where I did like this really big popular performance with me.
Jessica Sanchez and D'Andre Brackensick
It was a buddy Holly song
It was a big thing
Stephen and Jalo were judges that season
But I still got cut
But I got shown on TV
So I kind of like built my fan base off that
Right
So then when I came back the next season
I had like a following already
Now is that a thing that people do on American Idol
Do people go back all the time
And just keep auditioning and
I think so I know some people
Like Pia Tuscano had done it like five times
She was on season 10
She's amazing
I don't even think she should have had to do it that many times
Really? Well, that's how people feel about you.
Right. But people definitely go back.
I know the guy who won after me, Caleb, I can't remember his last name.
We know him. He's from Sean's hometown.
Yeah. And he did it. I think that was his fourth time because he won after me. Yeah.
One of the guys was at our show at Home for the Holidays, who was on your season. I can't remember his name.
But we knew him. He hung out with us in Nashville. He was at the show when we went out after.
Oh, Polly?
Yeah. And Sean was like. Oh, yeah. He did tell me he was friends.
with you yeah he Sean was like oh so you were uh you were on the same season as Candace and he was
like yeah and he goes yeah no wonder you lost man oh my god I was like um that's what Sean said
Sean has a recording of you singing um um where are you Christmas that he like snuck on his
phone and he like listens to it like before he goes to bed do you know that my mom does the same
thing you know she came this last week so she called me and was like oh my god where are you
miss and I'm like oh my that's so cute oh your mom was so funny my parents are really proud of me
well that they should be yeah I can only imagine yeah my parents watch me on the bachelor and they're
like but they're proud of me now I'm just kidding they're pretty proud of me um okay Bianca I have
talked to you about this before your audition for America's Got Talent you sang and I'm telling
you which is challenging well for me anyways um and you were 11 when you did this right 11
Yeah, it was 11.
And, okay, so we watched it, and Sean and I were both like, whoa, that was insane.
And then what was the judge named?
Pierce?
Yeah, Pierce Morgan.
Yeah, so they all pumped your tires.
They were all like, you're incredible.
Wow, I can't believe you're 11.
And then Pierce was like, okay, change your hair, change your clothes, change your shoes, and like, whatever.
I wanted to, I was shaking.
I was so mad for you because I'm like, who the shit says that to an 11-year-old girl after she just saying her heart.
out to you. I don't care if you're like a produced, like judge who you're supposed to be the
mean one. Like you don't say that to an 11 year old girl. I was so fired up for you.
Because then I'm like, man, if someone said that to me when I was 11, that would stick with me
for so long. I'd be so like self-conscious of my shoes and what I'm wearing.
Like that was just. Yeah. It was definitely, it was definitely harsh. I didn't even know what I was
wearing. When he was saying that, he was like, change your hair. I was like, change your dress.
What am I wearing? Change your shoes. And then I looked down at my shoes. I couldn't even know
what I was wearing. My dad dressed me.
Which is so adorable.
Oh, my God.
And you looked great.
I loved your shoes.
And it was so, yeah, you look down at your little toes.
Like, what, what shoes am I wearing?
It was the sweetest moment.
Yeah, my mom and dad picked out my outfits and my dad did my hair when I was there.
Well, of course, you were 11.
You should have said that.
Tell my dad.
Take that up with my dad.
Exactly.
That was so crazy.
That just must have been so wild for you.
You said Pierce Morgan said that?
Yeah.
That's so crazy.
What a douche.
That's a freaking douche.
So, okay, you were 11.
So then you had to, like, go back to school after?
Yeah, I did.
I went into, I was going into seventh grade, I think, after that.
Oh, my gosh.
And what, where, what city is this in that you were living?
I live in Philadelphia.
Okay, so this was there.
And was that just the craziest experience to just, like, win a huge show?
Like America's Got Talent and then go back to school?
Oh, it was very crazy.
I, like, definitely didn't want to be there.
Yeah, were people just overwhelming?
I was definitely out a lot, though, because right after that I was doing a lot of,
world touring and doing a lot of like Vegas and Atlantic City so I wasn't in school but my school
was really supportive wow and they would basically give all the books to like my tutor and I would
be out for months and months at a time and they still didn't kick me out they were very supportive
oh that's nice to hear yeah because I didn't I didn't want to be um homeschooled or anything like
I still wanted to be able to go back and have like a real life kid experience yeah being in school
and then I went back to high school and I yeah all that that's so cool huh that's and how you
and your boyfriend are so freaking cute how long have you guys been together we've been together for
two years now oh okay yeah i love that one time i was just like standing backstage and i look out
and he's just like forgive me for my lack of knowledge with musical instruments cello
the bass bass see i told you but he was that thing was like bigger than him and you
and i was like wait what he plays music too and i thought that was such a cute moment you guys
got to share the stage on broadway that's how we that's how we first met was um i needed a bass player
and then he was lonely was hired, and then we got closer after a few months.
I feel like that's like a Hallmark movie.
That's very sweet.
Oh, okay.
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O list, so like you should probably get it. Well, so every podcast, I do confessions with my guests.
I'll wash away your sins with my wine, and you can just tell me anything, get it off your chest.
I will go anywhere from, like, I've peed my pants and admitted it on here, to, like, actually, I'm pretty gross.
I also bit my toenails.
So I'll go there.
You don't have to go there, but I really appreciate it if you did.
I just seen the way you looked at her when she said she bit her tongue.
I don't even know what face I mean.
You were like, you were like,
you were like, this is why we need cameras in here
so that people can like see our heads.
It is gross, no, it is.
Oh my God.
You can look at me with the most disgusted look on your face.
I get it.
I'm gross, but that's part of my thing, you know?
I don't know.
I wouldn't even know.
What are you guys' confessions?
Do you want me to tell you mine first?
Yeah, what's yours?
So do you have to do this like every time?
Yeah, which is so hard.
Yes.
I have so many.
You do?
So many.
Okay, tell us one.
Yeah, tell us when it, the thing is for me, it's very hard to come up with confessions every week, but luckily I do stupid things all the time.
So it's kind of helpful that I'm like that.
But I'll now go back to like, I'll start thinking about like childhood memories just to try and get something out there.
But Bianca, you go.
You start.
Okay. I have like a few.
Okay, great.
Definitely confession number one.
I never had a vegetable till I was 22 years old.
Like never, not one bite.
What?
I've told Candace about.
How are you alive?
Yeah.
What?
How are you alive?
I don't know. I mean, my parents literally fed me like pizza hud every night.
No-uh.
Yeah.
Cool. Parent goals.
Pizza hut?
Yeah.
Because there's so many of us.
They just order pizza.
Yeah, okay.
You had some tomatoes.
Yeah.
Some tomato sauce.
I got a little bit of tomato in there.
Yeah, I guess so.
Which I guess is technically, you know, they always say it's a fruit or whatever.
But it's a vegetable.
I didn't start eating vegetables literally until I met Drew.
And then he's seen my diet and he was like,
literally how can you eat chicken fingers
for every meal. That's right.
Come on, Drew. And I would be, he would be like, what do you
want for dinner? I'm like, I'm going to shopper. I'm getting a bag
of Tyson Nuggets and I'm microwaving them.
Oh my gosh.
Sean would be mortified at you right now.
And then his parents, because, you know, Drew's parents
are like, they eat very, and like, my parents
are not that way. Drew is her boyfriend, by the way.
And my parents, you know, it's like my dad eats a bowl of cereal for breakfast
lunch and dinner. Yep. And my mom
just eats like, you know, a lot of like pizza, fast food, like just quick.
stuff. So, like, for me, I'm just like, yeah, ties
and nuggets. And, like, I was like, whoa,
what is a green bean? That
is wild. And now all I eat
as Candace, she even sees,
I eat so healthy now.
Chicken and asparagus. Chicken and
asparagus. Really? Every
night. Every day. Every day, every
night. You're making up for lost
time. Oh, yeah. Now, like, I'm, like, addicted
to vegetables now. I feel so good. My immune system, so much better now.
Yeah. I believe. Josh
has a dad over there, you're like, what the hell?
Exactly.
That's crazy.
My parents don't eat vegetables either.
Now I'm trying to get them to eat healthier.
Pass it on.
I made dinner.
I made like brown rice chicken and asparagus.
And I was like, guys, I made dinner for the family.
They're like, oh, it's so nice.
Bianca made dinner.
They walk into the kitchen.
They're like, ew, nutrition.
All my siblings were like, we don't eat vegetables.
What are you trying to do?
No way.
Oh, my God.
That's so funny.
My baby sister, she came in and stole a piece of chicken and then left and then realized
that it's delicious.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's wild.
Okay, that's a good confession.
That's good.
That's good.
And a little mind-blowing.
Josh?
I thought about this.
I'm going to, I think I'm going to, I thought of a couple of hours, so I think I'm going to go, I'm going to go way back.
Okay.
So I was, like, a pretty, like, in elementary school, like, I was pretty, like, quiet and kind of kept to myself.
But as I got into, like, this period from, like, fifth grade to eighth grade, I kind of, like, learn to, like,
I don't know to like open up yeah by by sort of doing little class clownish things from time to time and and getting a little bit in trouble from time to time and so there was one time in in I think it was I think it was eighth grade it could have been I think it was eighth grade and my science teacher was like you know like maybe a year away from retiring he'd been doing it for a long time yeah he was kind of he
He was a pretty decent teacher, but he was a little bitter, I think.
He had that attitude, you know.
I've been teaching for too long.
Yeah, exactly.
And so, me and my friends were, like, messing around before class, and we were up by his desk.
And he had a little straight pin on the desk.
Oh, you put it on his seat?
I did.
And he had a little – he had, like, a place where his seat was worn down.
And so there was that foam underneath, and I pulled a little piece of the foam out and put it.
And so, like, what did you win?
What did you put on it?
A straight pin.
And so we were just joking and I thought, you know, I really, I think in my, in deep down,
I thought there's no way this is going to work.
It's going to fall down.
And then like, and then all of a sudden we noticed he was coming in and we ran to our seats.
And I remember this moment of like, wait a minute, I should go get it.
But then I was like, it's too late.
And then I was like, it's going to fall over so it's going to be okay.
But he sat down and it was like this like his face like squished into this really smell.
Oh my God.
And he's, I remember to this day, he stood up.
and said, somebody has just injected something into my body.
And it turns out he had these blood issues and he had to go get all these shots to make sure he was all right.
And I just, have you ever, because I have kids, I see lots of kids movies.
So there's that movie, um, uh, uh, Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they like have this party at their house when they're not supposed to.
And the older brother is like, no matter what happens, you deny, deny.
deny no matter how much they know and that's basically like he actually came up to me a few days
later he's like somebody told me that it might have been you i was like no i don't i have no idea
oh oh my god and this is the first time you're confessing it is you're not denying anymore
that's right well what was his name do you remember mr ostein mr ostein if you have like what grade
were you in eight grade oh my god a grade that you should know better right yeah i know i know i know
I know, I know.
That's, I pulled out a kid's chair from him to flirt with him.
I was trying to flirt.
And he ended up getting like a concussion and had to be like taken away in an ambulance.
And I was like, oh, my flirt game is not strong.
Oh, my God.
It still, like, haunts me.
His name was Eric.
And I just, I still feel bad about it.
Candace.
I don't even know, man.
Oh, come on.
Besides me, sometimes, like, if I'm running late for the show, like, I don't put lotion on my toes.
So there's like.
gosh so like that's your
sometimes I have like really ashy feet
but but like
during the breaks like when you do
what Christmas needs to me and then you do
why couldn't it be Christmas I try to put on like lotion
but I'm more so focused on
doing my hair so like the lotion
has to wait sometimes I told you that we don't
look at your toes I can't
right I know she told me that but sometimes when I'm saying I feel like
the people in the front row are looking at my toes
there was only one lady I remember there was this one lady in the front row
one time and her husband was like so into it and clapping along
And she was just like this at our feet.
Yes.
Every now and then I see someone who's like, look what she's doing with her feet.
Like, they'll look at my feet.
And I'm like, I'll try to go behind the speakers and stuff.
Because especially if that's a day that I did not put lotion on my feet.
So it's like, you know, don't look down there.
There are a few.
They're like validating your insecurities.
Yes.
I can't handle that.
No wonder you looked at me like I'm a crazy person.
I bite my toenails.
If your confession is that you don't put lotion on your toes.
If I'm running late, then I just don't have time.
And then plus, I don't like this.
when I put lotion on my feet and then my feet slide in the heels.
Like, I don't like that.
So sometimes I leave the bottom ashy.
Josh, it makes sense.
That is adorable.
That's your confession.
That one definitely gets a sip to wash away your sins.
So, cheers to that.
Cheers.
And my confession is that, I don't know if you guys might even know this, when we sing joy to the world, I don't hit that high note.
I mouth it every time.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, that's a confession of mine too.
Sometimes I do lip sing in this show.
No, you don't know.
Yes, I do.
How, is that possible?
Sometimes in the group numbers and I can't get that high, then I'm like, I'll do it.
What if you all did that at the same time?
Exactly.
I'm glad that it's not at the same times.
I don't know what times y'all do it, but yeah.
Sometimes I have like a mental connection with you definitely.
Like, I definitely know when you're backing off and then I'm like, okay, and now I'll go in.
Right.
And like, we kind of switch off taking breaks on like the high melodies, especially enjoy to the world.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, well, then I don't feel bad about my joy at all.
It's just that one high note on joy.
I don't even know if my mic's on when I sing.
I don't know if my mic's even on.
They're probably like, yeah, Kailen, get out there and sing.
Jokes on you, your mic's off.
I'm serious.
I don't know.
I can never hear myself.
Oh, my God.
And I don't have the in-year.
It looks like you're singing.
Yeah.
And you look like you're having the time of your life.
I'm very convincing.
I'm very convincing because I'll even throw a finger in the air.
And when I do hit that high.
high note and I'll look right at Danny
and he's like
given the like double fist pumps
Danny I laugh up there with Danny
Iello is in the show and he is
what 80 is he 80? 84
he's 84 yeah good for him
he sings and does this whole thing
and tells stories in our show and he's
just a hoot and back stage he's always like
you go get him Candace
yes every time I want to crack up every time
he even comes on the stage during Joy to the World
and says it while we're singing yeah oh yeah his
All the time.
His mic is definitely on because he'll, yeah, he'll, like, shout to the crowd and be like, yeah, Candace.
It's so funny.
But, okay, well, then my confession, see, it is shitty.
No, I think everybody's was real good.
Everybody's was good.
Bianca, you said you have more than one.
I'm going to, we're going to sign off with you of the confessions.
Okay, okay.
Well, another confession is when I was, like, I was too old to be, you know, peeing my pants.
Yeah.
I was, it was probably like seventh or eighth grade.
and we were on the jungle gym at my school
maybe it was 7th grade
I was still playing on the jungle gym I know
And I was like everybody like let's play Squish the Lemon
And we had like a tunnel slide
That was like a circle slide
So it was completely enclosed
Like you're not jumping out
You can't quit and squish the lemon
What is Squish the Lemon?
Somebody slides down to the bottom of the slide
And they stay there
And then all the kids go down
But they don't let anybody out
So you're just squished
That would give me so much anxiety
Oh my God
I went in like last
And he peed.
And I was cracking up.
Everybody was, like, laughing because we're all squished together.
And I peed my pants, and it literally went down the slide on everybody.
And I denied it.
Like, I had, I had like.
Yeah, you did the deny, deny, deny.
I was just like, I got to go to the nurse.
Oh, my God.
I got to go to the nurse.
Yeah.
And you peed on everybody.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
How many people are we talking here?
Oh, my God.
There had to be like, at least.
Were you squishing the lemon?
Oh, I knew.
I knew I had to be the last one down or else I'd get squished.
And then I
And then you peed all over everybody
Oh my god
Oh my god
I know how that is to be young
And like laughing
Oh I have such
I literally pee my pants
All the time
But I
That was one of my confessions
I peed but I was like 30
Yeah
Oh my God
When I'm like laughing
Like I wasn't even laughing
I didn't have to like go down
Oh you weren't laughing
No I like had a body suit on
And I
forgot that it was a body suit
And I went to pull down my pants
to pee
And then I just let her go.
And I was like, oh, definitely still wearing a body suit right now.
Oh, I know what you mean.
I think that's happened to me before, but that's terrible.
Don't you hate that?
It's a very uncomfortable feeling.
Yes, because then you have to put the body suit back on.
And then it's all cold.
Josh, you're surrounded by females right now telling you about being their pants.
Yes, go bathroom before you play Squish the Lemon.
Lesson Learn.
If you're going to take away anything from this podcast today, it's go to the bathroom before
you play Squish the Lemon.
Yeah, it was embarrassing.
And don't do it.
Okay.
This is amazing.
I have to top up my wine here.
Candice, how's your wine doing?
I would love some more wine.
Okay.
Now, does alcohol affect your voice?
Yes.
That's, yeah.
Candice is like, no, nothing affects my voice.
Candice has no rules.
She will eat chili right before she goes on stage, and it doesn't do anything to her.
Rage, cereal and milk.
Is that bad?
Dairy is usually like bad.
She's so lucky.
Oh.
And so dairy, alcohol.
I do a lot worse things than that
I feel another confession coming up
I don't know I mean just vocally
I'm definitely see how Josh is being so like
disciplined and not drinking wine
I can drink anything
I drink a lot of soda I'm not proud of that yet I'll do that
I'm like addicted to Sprite like Sprite
Oh yeah you love a Sprite yes and that's not good at all
For your voice
But um or your
Or your health
Or your body
See, the alcohol thing for me, too, though, like, if it was just my voice, I knew it would maybe affect it a little bit, I might have it.
But I also have kind of like this weird, like, allergy slash intolerance where, like, occasionally all, it doesn't always happen, but I can have, like, a couple drinks and I'll, like, feel bad for, like, three days.
That's Sean, too.
So I have to be real careful with it.
That's, Sean could have two beers and the next day feel like garbage, like, for a full day and he'll get anxiety and, like, yeah, feel like, yeah, feel like.
a terrible hangover when he only had two beers yeah man i that is not a life i want to live i'll tell
you that me it's bad i think i've yeah it's yeah it's yeah it's an allergy it's no good yeah
that i won't even like if somebody said katelyn you might have an allergy to wine i wouldn't
even want to go find out i'd be like you know what i'm just going to suffer i mean yeah it's
tough because i do like good wine good beer yeah so but i just have to it's just not worth it
yeah maybe if you have like nothing to do for that's the whole day you'll you'll dare to try and drink so now that
we have washed away our sins. We might as well talk about the wine that we're washing them
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We'll be back with more off the vine
With Caitlin Bristow
Hey guys, it's me Corinne
I got a new podcast on Podcast One
Called So Random with me Corinne
Tune in for the good, the bad, the ugly
And even embarrassing
Pien Your Pants Convo's all the way
Unfiltered, oh yeah
Download new episodes every Thursday at
Podcast 1.com, the new podcast 1 app
Or subscribe at Apple Podcasts.
Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.
Okay, so I don't know if you guys hate this when people do this to you because, you know, sometimes you go in, as somebody that was like The Bachelorette or in that world, sometimes interviews, I'm like, do you really have to ask me that same damn question?
So sorry if this is one of those things where you're like, oh, do you really have to do that, Caitlin, but I'm doing it.
I'm putting you on the spot.
Do you guys sing like a little ditty?
Oh, my God.
Do you hate singing by yourself?
Like, I just want you to see a little bit of ordinary people.
oh wow okay
I see I would hate this if this was me
I'd be like don't you dare put me on that spot
me may my mom move
we won't all stare at you
I also never do like warm-ups and stuff either
I'd be hearing you in your room
I warm up a little bit back at the apartment
you know God just gave you a beautiful gift
and you signed for it so yeah
it's a blessing okay
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave
And maybe you'll return
Maybe we'll fuss and fight
Maybe we won't survive
Maybe we'll grow
You'll never know
Baby you and I
we should take it slow
take it slow
oh
this time we'll take it slow
stupid
that is so insane
to me that you're like how do your guys' voices
even do these things like I just don't even
I just like my goosebumps hurt
when people sing
um what
and then you're like the part that blows my mind too is that you're like oh um oh okay
you like do your thing like okay i would be so happy to be like you want i'd you should sing
this whole podcast oh my god wow okay next
well you guys you guys can also do i want people to hear a little a little ditty from the show
so that they can feel like they're missing out if they don't come Bianca what's your favorite
thing to sing. I don't know what to sing. Well, what about your song that you did on? Or do you say, are you over
that one? You're like, I'm singing. Yeah, I get that. What's your favorite? As if it's not a Mariah Carey song.
Oh, my God. Let me see. I don't know. Is there a request? Hmm. What? Is there something you've
thought about me singing? Like, you know, you heard her singing that. Yeah, that, um, fantasy.
What's that?
Mariah Carey?
I don't think I know that one.
Oh, come on.
I'm not going to sing it.
Sorry.
That's okay.
I don't know anything.
Even if you want to sing something from the Christmas show.
Let me see.
Josh, do you know what you want to sing?
I don't.
I'm thinking about it.
I know.
I'm both thinking about it.
Let me see.
Oh, my gosh.
I am really putting you guys on the spot.
I was easy.
I just told her what to sing.
I haven't seen like, I feel like I haven't.
He's saying, like, regular, like, pop music in so long.
Did you say something out there?
Uh, yeah, how about the Christine Aguilera one?
Oh, Chrissy Aguilera one.
I can sing, yeah.
Okay.
I guess I think Christine Lerner.
Yeah, do that.
Uh, uh, or no, I don't know.
What?
What do you want to sing?
I could sing, uh, I know, do you know Jostone?
I know the name, yeah?
Yeah, I love her music.
Okay.
More soulful.
Or there's Amy, or an Amy Winehouse song.
Ooh, do Amy.
Do Amy.
I'll say, she.
Valerie?
Yeah, I love that song.
Okay.
Yes.
Well, sometimes I go all by myself, and I look across the water, and I think of all the things,
what you're doing, and in my head I paint a picture.
Well, since you come home, my body's been a mess, and I miss your ginger hair,
and the way you like to dress.
Won't you come on over
Start making a fool out of me
Why don't you come on over
Valerie
Valeray?
Ooh, Valerie
Oh, Valerie
Oh, Valerie
God
Yes, Peter
Yes, yes,
Wow.
Wow.
That was really good.
Thank you.
I get so good.
jealous every time you guys open your mouth because i'm like i always take i take voice lessons in
nashville and like i'll go to like write with people and then i hear you guys i'm like okay i quit
i'm i'll never sing again just kidding but probably i'm not kidding i'm actually really
really depressed when i listen again no i'm just kidding okay josh what do you want to sing oh i don't
know um i love how you guys are also modest you're like oh i don't know i don't know and then you
like bust out the best song i know you're like supposed to like sing something that everybody knows but um
i'm on this like uh ongoing crusade for um one of my favorite artists who uh who isn't as well known
as i think he should be yeah um he's actually i think in uh based out of nashville these days
guy by the name of jamy ladell okay um really good uh british soul singer um uh he's kind of all
over the place as far as production and the kind of music that he does, which is one of the
things I really like about him, that he kind of goes down a lot of different roads.
But anyway, I'm going to do a song by him.
It's called A Little Bit More.
Okay.
I hope you understand what I'm saying to you.
Never had a relationship and I'm telling you we're through.
There ain't no easy way to get out of here.
got so good at hiding never made my feelings clear let me take a moment now to spell it out for all this is over
I trust there'll be no doubt yeah I don't want is the best from you but there's only so much I'm willing to do and the rest
you gotta find some else because with you it's always
Girl with you
It's always
Girl with you
It's always
A little bit more
A little bit more
A little bit more child
A little bit more
Yes
Josh
Oh my gosh
You guys
I love that
I wish I could just do a whole podcast
Just listening to you guys sing and me drinking wine
I just sit here and do this all day long.
Gosh, what a gift.
You guys feel so lucky to have that voice.
I feel very bliss.
Thank God every day that I'm on the stage.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I think that's one of the things that I think, I mean, I know that there are people out there who, like, feel, like, an arrogance about what they can do, like, locally and musically.
But I don't ever understand that because most of the time I'm just, like, I didn't do anything.
Like, this is just something that I, you know.
You know, like, not that I didn't do anything because I have worked and I have put time into it.
But it's also at the same time, it's just something that, like, I ended up with, you know?
Exactly.
As much as anybody, there are times when I'm like, oh, I'm so, I'm so glad that that I just did that.
You know, it's not like I'm like, oh, look what I just did.
Being arrogant about it.
I know exactly what you mean.
Yeah.
It's just, it's like how good I am at drinking wine.
It's just like, you know, I was kind of born with it.
I know, I know my gift.
I use it to the best of my ability.
but I'm not like, hey, look what I can do.
You should do like a wine.
You should come up with your own wine.
Oh, I am on it.
Nice.
Oh, I'm on it.
I'm working on it.
I want an off-the-vine wine.
There you go.
That would be amazing.
So have you guys all been seen since you were little?
Is that?
Yeah, I'll be.
Yeah.
Obviously, she has.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's so great.
Yeah.
And is music running your families, too?
Not at all.
Really?
No one in my family can sing.
Huh.
Wow.
My grandfather, my dad's dad's dad.
could sing he was like gospel he was singing church but he had like a country twang to his voice
which is why i love country but i just never do it because people always you know don't expect that for
me no but that's why you should do it that's why i should do it right i used to do like covers and
stuff on youtube but um he passed in 98 but he was the only person in my family like my dad will sing
a little in church but no one's like i want to sing like me at all wow that blows my mind
And my whole family, yeah, my mom was a music teacher and like did the music for church.
My grandmother on her side was a music teacher.
My mom and dad met playing in a band together.
So it's just, yeah, I've always, always been around it.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Yeah, my dad just, nobody in my family can sing, especially no more sister.
Oh, my goodness.
That's so funny.
Yeah, when she would sing, like, I would do like live broadcast and stuff.
and like I do my videos and she'll come in and sing with me
and people will be like oh my gosh your sister is so flat
she'd be like well I don't know what you're telling me is I don't even know what flat
means I'm just singing I don't I don't know what flat or sharp or any of that means
oh right but my dad plays guitar and so that's how I kind of got into it
and he would work with me a lot when I was younger and practice
oh that's so sweet no one in my family sings at all music teacher
play an instrument nothing that is nothing very interesting that's crazy
My, uh, my grandpa was a musician.
That's about all I got.
Yeah, same.
Podcasting definitely runs in my family.
No, you know what runs in my family?
My great bandfather was the first podcaster back in the 1920s.
His name was Tom Bristow podcast.
That is the, Mr. Podcasts, they called him.
No, the big personalities run in my family.
Not my sister, she's very shy, but my mom.
Okay, we get it, Mom.
You're in the room.
Okay, so since it's around Christmas time, I came up with the game.
Actually, I can't take all the credit.
My girlfriend, Bree, help me on it.
So we're going to play a game.
Now, get ready for this title.
I thought, long and hard on this.
The game is called, Is This an actual Christmas song?
Hmm.
Deep, I know.
I like it.
So I'm going to say the title.
I looked up some alternative Christmas songs.
There's some funny names out there.
So I'm going to say the name.
A very screamo Christmas.
Is that a real thing?
I don't know.
It is now.
So I'll read titles of songs, and you have to tell me if I made it up or if it's a real Christmas song, okay?
Okay.
Bitch better have my presents.
Oh, man.
That's probably, that sounds like it could be a viral post.
Yeah.
Like somebody did like a funny parody.
Did you make it up?
Yeah, I did.
It's good.
It goes like this.
It goes like this.
Bitch better have my presents.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
So now.
Yeah.
Drop the B.
Okay.
Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis.
Hmm.
What?
Real.
It's so out there that you have to, yeah.
Yeah.
It's like way too specific.
Way too specific.
Very specific.
It's a real song.
That's a real song.
That's amazing.
We should probably listen to it after.
We should add that to our holiday list of.
Yeah, maybe we can get Jonathan to put that in the show.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be great idea.
All I want for Christmas is for.
you to put a baby in me that sounds like Caitlin yeah that one is a Caitlin classic um I saw
mommy kissing Mr. Claus see this one's really throwing you guys up that's almost the same
song right yeah and it's not like that stupid and funny so you're like that's not Caitlin
I'm gonna say it's yes it's real yeah it's not it was saying it's oh yeah oh you
you tricked us.
I stumped all of you.
Okay.
Fat Daddy is Santa Claus.
Real.
Yep.
It is.
I can't wait to listen to these after.
Christmas unicorn.
Hmm.
I can't go either way.
I feel like that could be like, it could be like some strange artist.
Yeah.
Well, I think they're like a mermaid.
Christmas unicorn.
I'm going to say you made it up.
Yeah.
Maybe fake.
Nice.
Yeah.
Caitlin. Good job. Okay, two more. I'm going to
lasso Santa Claus. A Christmas country
classic. Yeah. Real. I think
that could be a country song. Yeah, I'll go real. Yeah, it is. You guys are right.
Okay, last one. Twenty-five elves are in my stocking.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, man.
Sounds like a YouTube parody as well. I feel like, wait, how many elves?
25.
Yeah, I think you can be real.
That one is also specific.
I'll say real, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, that would, he would like to, Sean came up with that one.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my God.
Well done.
Well done.
That one was so dumb.
Not that mine weren't dumb, but like, it was funny because I'm like, Sean, come up with a Christmas song right now.
He goes, 25 elves in my stalking.
That's the only one we got stumped on.
Right.
You can congratulate him.
He's going to feel so good about that.
He was going to feel so.
There was her other one, too.
her uh oh mr claus yeah i said mommy kissing mr claus yeah because it wasn't like too out there
yeah yeah and it is a christmas but the hooker one was was real yeah yeah yeah the hooker one
but mr clause is fake yeah i actually want just just because i think it would be hilarious
what would what did i say it was called christmas card from a hooker christmas card from a hooker
let's see let's see what oh yeah there it is okay i could definitely hear josh saying that
Me, too.
You have to learn that song, Josh.
We're getting in the show.
Christmas.
Card from the hooker.
Now I want to look up the lyrics.
From.
Oh, the lyrics are so funny.
Tom Waits.
Was it Tom Waits?
Okay.
That's what I was wondering.
Oh, really?
It is.
And the song starts off says,
That's brilliant.
Of course.
That makes sense.
Hey, Charlie, I'm pregnant.
That's how the song starts.
Oh, my God.
Come on, Tom Waits.
That is.
Awesome. That's amazing. Oh, I'm really happy about that. I mean, yeah. I'm adding that to my holiday playlist. That like, Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis just went from like a joke to like, oh, I get it. It's Tom Waits. That's, and it's awesome. Right. Now it makes sense. And now everybody is going to add it to their Christmas playlist. There you go. And they should. Let's talk about being cozy for a minute here. Comfortable, fashionable, medical scrubs, figs. They have incredibly soft fabric with four-way,
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I love that this is a Christmassy show and we do Christmassy stuff.
We're going to do, can you not Christmas edition? And then what does that clock say?
Oh, yeah, it's about that time.
Uh, can you not?
Okay, so can you not, Christmas edition, you have to say out like this.
No, you don't have to say the whole thing, but you have to say, can you not?
Can you not?
So I was thinking, can you not?
Can you not?
Can you not?
Do it a little more, like, can you not?
Can you not?
Don't even move your mouth.
Can you not?
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, that was good, Candace.
Josh, let's hear your best, can you not.
Can you not?
Oh, that was good.
you even like crossed your arms and you like yeah that was you sold that you sold that
okay Bianco let's hear yours oh god he does it better than me yeah I know he does
can you not oh that's pretty good that's pretty good kind of not um I like to like
draw out the knot can you not oh yes so is that something you used to say on TV no
No. I don't even know where it came from. I think, um, Mike, no, actually, it just came to me. One of my girlfriends, um, who was on the podcast one time, our name is Bree. We grew up, like, dancing together across the street from each other. And I think we, like, just started saying it when we were thinking of podcasting together, but now she has two kids. So, and she doesn't live in the States. Um, but we would always do the Ken you not. And then we thought of that for a podcast segment. And now I'm like, I'm stealing up for my own and we're not podcasting together. Sorry.
so she gave me one too that's pretty good so can you not ask us oh this is mine this is mine
my family can you not ask us when we're getting married at the holidays like just because it's
the holidays and everybody's sitting around the same table you don't have to ask us when we're
getting married we still don't know can i can i can feel that yeah josh do you have one um i think
so let's see okay so uh how about how about can you not tell me
how in the Christmas spirit you are
and how you love the holidays
and then go scream and flip me off
and cut me off in traffic
and fight people at the store
what everybody is doing.
Because you're not in the spirit.
Kenya not.
That's a good one.
That's a good one because I'm guilty of it.
I'm like,
I'm always playing Christmas music.
I like make the house smell like Christmas.
I boil orange, cinnamon six,
rosemary and cranberries.
And I just am like, oh, it's Christmas.
I'm so happy.
I'm like in Times Square walking like with my elbows out just nailing people being like
get on my way that's me excellent your Ken you not was definitely personal towards me I'm sorry
Candace do you have one um skip me it'll be Bianca oh man I don't have one either skip me go back
to Candace oh I'll give you one what but I'll just say it and then you don't have to say it
and then I'll be like from Candace okay um can you not tell me it's too early to decorate
Sean B
He thinks it's too early
If it's before Thanksgiving
It is
But my Thanksgiving
Is Canadian Thanksgiving
And that's in October
Am I boring you, Candice?
Not at all
Not at all
I'm just always like this
I'm always like this
I'm just kidding
Candice was yawning
So I was calling her out
I'm just kidding
I do that too
Oh Josh and I were talking about this earlier
Can I not
Have all your Christmas shopping done
Like at the beginning of November
And then brag about it?
Oh, I'm already done all my Christmas shopping.
I'm like, great.
It's December 23rd, and I haven't started.
Exactly.
I'm terrible at that.
Actually, Sean's worse than me, and I'm trying to be on top of it.
It's actually a huge fight we had the other day.
I have one, but I'm not sure if everybody will disagree.
But it's my personal, can you not?
Okay.
Okay, so can you not have cranberry sauce on the table as a side
and not have mashed potatoes or stuffing?
Oh, okay.
There are some people that have that, and,
And they have cranberry sauce, but no.
I just don't think that should ever replace, like, my stuffing.
No, you can't go, you can't go just sweet.
You got to have the savory.
Yeah, absolutely.
Kenya not.
But like, oh, you want some ham turkey and we have cranberry sauce?
I'm like, no, I'm with you, yes.
Where's the stuffing?
Yeah.
I don't even understand a Christmas without stuffing.
Where's the mashed potatoes?
Yeah, it's not Christmas unless there's mashed potatoes, is what I always say.
Yeah.
Okay, that's our Kenya Not segment.
And I feel like I was late on, I usually tweet and people will say something, but I was late on the tweets today.
I didn't get enough in.
Whatever, you got a few Kenyanauts.
Kind of all?
Everyone can tweet us.
How about that?
People can take their holiday Kenyanauts and tweet us all.
Yes.
And on that note, where can everybody find you guys?
What are you doing?
What have you done?
What do you want to say to the people?
Bianca, where can people find you?
Well, I literally update my Instagram story, like play by play on my life.
Perfect.
Me too.
Yeah, just on Instagram, it's ad official, Bianca Ryan.
Okay.
And then I'm always tweeting, you know, senseless, you know.
As we all do.
Yeah, I just woke up, just went to the bathroom, you know.
Use double-plied to Twitter.
Yeah, that's at Bianca Ryan.
And then on Facebook, that's just the same as my Instagram, the slash official Bianca Ryan.
And don't you have a Christmas album?
I do.
Yeah, actually, my Christmas song that I perform in the show here is about to hit 3 million streams.
So I'm printing.
Wow.
Yeah, just in like the last two years, it like blew up.
Good for you.
that's very exciting okay so people should hear that yeah um okay Josh um you're like well I'm not
being a dad of five exactly exactly um yeah I'm you know I'm on all the the usual social media
stuff because it was taken I couldn't be the same thing on Facebook so this is Josh Kaufman on
Facebook but I am Josh Kaufman everywhere else and do you do like covers or anything or do you ever do
those. Yeah, from time to time. And actually, I'll probably have a few more of those going up
in the next few months. I also have a ton of new music coming up this year that I'm
going to be putting out. So I have a complete album that's ready to be released, probably the
first fourth of the year, somewhere in the early part of next year. And then I have another
one that I'm really excited about that I'm working on with some friends of mine. That's probably
going to be more later next year, but I'll, you know, I'll keep everything updated about that.
And then I'll update my vine people, my viner's, my vinos, whatever they want to call themselves.
I'll keep them updated on all your guys' stuff.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Candace, where do you find you?
People can find me on Twitter is my first and last name, Candace Glover.
Instagram is Candace Glover, and then Facebook is Facebook.com slash Candace Glover Music.
Okay.
And I'm, like, in the process of changing my website name to Candace Glover Sings.
Oh, cool.
So they'll be able to find me on that.
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I think we should
end with a little
Christmas jingle
one from the show
because everybody
if you're in New York
over the holidays
or you're going to be
we are
what
I just look over Canada
and just shaking her head
because I'm like
okay you like to sing
you want us to sing again
yeah
okay we can
sing but what what's your song that you guys sing in the show that's the three of you
all of them but like but what's your favorite one i don't know i don't know i don't know i think the only
time we do the three of us is when we oh yeah oh holy night enjoy to the world we're all
singing together and then we do that medley yeah i'll be home for christmas and then we do
merry christmas happy holidays which you sing too yep nope not gonna happen yeah i was this mic is on
this mic is on so uh okay why don't you guys do a little bit of oh hello
night because it's so beautiful oh man oh you guys we'll see because we got to we got to think
about where it is oh yeah we want to start from the fall we can start from the fall on your knees
oh yeah that's a good one that's a good part you got to know Josh we'll start from there
again ready and a one and a two and here you go wait wait wait hold oh I forgot my note
Okay, yeah, that's why I know.
Okay.
Fall on your knees.
Oh, hear the angel voices.
Oh, night.
Divine.
When Christ was born, oh, night divine, oh, night, divine.
Oh, night, divine.
Oh, my God, guys, we did it.
That was really good.
Solid eight out of ten.
Can you do that ooh, that ooh, the one ooh?
at the very end
Oh
who
Yes
And then I come out
And I say
Music has been an essential part
Of the Christmas stories
You guys always have these beautiful moments
I just come out
And I have this weird script
Where I'm like
Music has been an essential part
Of the Christmas story
I always wonder how you feel about it
It's just so funny
Because at the end, I'm like, and it even spawned a beloved hit film.
And I'm like, what hit film did it spawned?
I wanted to know that, too.
Me too, me too.
What film is the little drummer boy?
No idea.
That's a movie?
I always think of that every time you say that.
I'm like, what film?
And then it's my turn to see it.
I am lying to the crowd every time.
Oh, my God.
You know what my other favorite part of the whole show is that I always think of as I'm doing it,
but I always forget by the end of the show to say to anybody.
Right.
is when, in the beginning of holy night, before I come out, you say, you say,
till he appeared and the soul felt its word.
And as soon as you're saying, till he appeared, I start walking out on the stage.
And I'm just like, yes, here I come.
Your soul can feel its worth now.
That's funny.
Now I'm going to be laughing at all these parts.
Now I'm just going to burst out in the middle of saying Spawned Beloved hit film.
I'm lying.
I don't know.
I'm just believing that what they wrote is true.
Yes.
That's so funny.
It's true.
Every time I'm like,
I have like moments in a show where I always forget by the end of the show to mention it too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't remember anyway.
But, I mean, at the end of the day, I love sharing a stage with you guys.
It's so much fun.
I'm glad you guys came on the podcast.
Thank you.
And I always end with a joke.
I feel like since we have a dad in the room, we need a dad joke.
Oh, man.
I know.
All right.
It's kind of, it's okay if it's a little bit long?
yeah of course all right um so it better be good though if it's long it's it's a oh i'll try to get
through it um just kidding all right so there's um there are these three guys and um they're like thieves
and um they've escaped from from the jail that they were in and they're really hungry they've been
kind of walking for a long time and and one of them's pretty smart guy he's kind of leader the
other guys you know okay and then the other guys just he kind of follow
is he's not a real smart dude yeah yeah unfortunately but yes the way it goes um so he they they
see this little store it's like a cheese shop and they're like man i'm so hungry we got to get
something so they walk in and uh and they grab they're like they're like this just you know
grab the first thing you see and just run and so so they walk in try to act cool and like and
just grab something and take off and the owner's like running after him yelling at him but he's not
able to catch up with them they run out into the woods and they hide in this cave and it's dark um but
they're so hungry they just like we just have to eat right now and who cares you can't see so they're
sitting there they're opening it up you know kind of feeling through the bag and and getting everything
you know getting everything out of the packaging and um the one of the guys says to the the smart
guy like uh which what did you get and he's like uh um i got swiss cheese he's like how do you know
He's like, well, because I can feel the holes in it.
And I'm like, oh, that makes sense.
Yeah.
So they asked the other guy, what did you get?
He's like, I got, I got Limburger cheese.
How do you know?
Well, it's got a real definite smell so I can smell it pretty easily.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
And so they asked the guy who's not very intelligent, you know, yeah.
The dummy.
They're like, what did you get?
He's like, I got nacho cheese.
They're like, how do you know what's nach cheese?
He's like, well, when we were running away, that guy was yelling, that's nach cheese.
That's nacho cheese.
Yes.
Dad jokes.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Amazing.
I love ending it on a good dad joke, you know?
And if you guys don't want to miss an episode of Off the Vine, you can download the podcast one app.
Go on Podcasts one.com or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
I'm Caitlin Bristow, and I'll see you next Tuesday.
Bye.
Bye.
Tadles.
Tootles.
Total out.
Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe.
Get new episodes every day.
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