Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Jessica Barrett | The Pilates Comment Heard Around the World on Love Is Blind!

Episode Date: March 3, 2026

#924. If you watched Love Is Blind Season 10, you know the moment.Jessica Barrett joins Kaitlyn to unpack the now-infamous Pilates comment — what led up to it, what wasn’t shown, and what was actually going through her head in real time.They get into red flags, projection, ego, body image, and the difference between being chosen and being valued. Jessica also shares what surprised her most watching it back, whether there’s been accountability since, and how someone trained in risk assessment ended up saying yes to a social experiment like this in the first place.If you’ve been wanting more insight into Love Is Blind Season 10, this one’s for you!If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these AMAZING deals!Bombas: Head over to Bombas.com/VINE and use code VINE for 20% off your first purchase.Quince: Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to QUINCE.com/vine for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too!Wayfair: Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every homeApartments.com: The Place to find a place!Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (3:40) – No warning, no buildup — how the Pilates comment really went down.(20:49) – The phone call after the spiral… and whether there’s been real accountability.(36:50) – How she told her hospital she was filming Love Is Blind (and got the time approved).(42:08) – The lesson that changed everything & her biggest takeaway of season 10.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Head to Wayfair.com right now and shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Apartments.com, the place to find a place. And Progressive, visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, Vino's, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are, you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on?

Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast. and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me. Thank you. Now let's get into it. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Off the Vine.

I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today I'm so excited. You know her from this season's love is blind. She is the infectious disease physician. Boss, bitch. And she went into the pods looking for emotional depth. Did you get it? No.

Instead, she found herself in one of the most talked about moments in reality history. One of those, did he really just say that moments? Sometimes I'm like, do these people forget they're on TV? Are they really, they must be that truly of an asshole. But this episode is obviously not just about that comment. We're talking about red flags, rejection, ego, body image, ignoring your gut, dodging bullets, and how a literal doctor ended up saying yes to marrying a stranger on Netflix and much, much more. So Jessica Barrett is on, off the vine today, and we are getting right into it.

I swear somebody has put like a hex on me. I feel like all, not like nothing really, well, no, it's actually really big stuff. I am in Toronto. I'm dealing with work visa stuff. I have not been home in over a month because I didn't have power for 10 days from the Nashville ice storm. I'm like trying to make fetch happen with so many things. And then every little thing he's going wrong.

Like this morning, my Uber canceled on me twice. Then I didn't make my workout. They wouldn't let me in one, one minute I was like. and I just burst into tears. Then I get a coffee, spilled hot coffee all over myself. Then I'm like, you know what? I'm going to be really great. I'm going to walk home from my workout.

It was a 40-minute walk in the snow, in Toronto, in cold. And I was like, I'm going to battle. 20 minutes into my walk, I realized I lost my phone, probably 20 minutes back, and backtracked my steps, couldn't find it. Had to then walk another 40 minutes home, got my computer, put in find my phone, found my phone. It was in a snowbank outside of a coffee shop, had to go all the way back, get it.

So I had no time to shower after my workout, do my makeup. So please forgive me for this, this. You would never know. Stop it. Your worst day is everyone else's best day. You're good. That's very kind.

And I need to be like, who freaking cares? This is life. And like, I'm more like flustered from everything that happened this morning, not so much from how I look. I get it, girl. Oh, Lord. You're probably so, are you so. tired. Are you getting whiplash? I'm so tired. There's so much whiplash. Because you're still working

too? I was. I was working up and like even in like even when like everything was airing and everything, I was still like working normally. Like I don't I don't know any other way. Like I was just like yeah, I got to go to work. What do you mean? Like and I didn't even think to take time off. But I was I was off this past week. Me and some of the girls went to Miami. So I had taken this week off like God. And I got like a little bit of leave approved. So this is actually, I was telling my parents, this is the longest time. Like, I'm going to be off for a total, I think, of four or five weeks. And that's the longest I've been off of school or work since I was like 22, I think. Enjoy it. I'm trying. Not that you're like doing nothing. You're still having to do so much press. And having to

talk about the same stuff every single time. Obviously, it's so wild. Like the, the Pilates comment heard around the world, if you will. It's still pissing me off. It still boils my blood. And what? And I cannot, I cannot stress this next part enough. The f was that. I know.

I keep saying as shocked as everyone was. I was even more shocked in the moment. There was literally no warning. I DM'd you. And I was like, was there like editing happening? Or were you just really keeping your cool? And was that shit really coming out of his mouth? But then the rest of the episode you'd just be like, oh, he unraveled.

He spiraled. This is, we're seeing the true colors. And you got a little glimpse. And you're saying there was no warning signs. He just all of a sudden came into, you were like, let's have a chat. And he was like, this is how I feel. Talk me into like how that even came to be. Like were they like, hey, go sit in a chair.

He's going to come talk to you? It was wild. So we actually, you know, we had just gotten back. So like timeline wise, it's Sunday. We like see each other's places. And then he like gets a little weird. And I'm like, okay, he's like probably a. overwhelmed, whatever.

And he's like, I'm going to go stay at my place tonight. And I'm like, great. I get to sleep in my king bed by myself with my dogs. I was like, I'm going with that. And then Monday, Tuesday is that chunk of time where like he's just not really responding to me. I don't really know what's going on. Then Tuesday night, we had scheduled to film regardless.

Like, that was already the plan. I actually texted production was like, do you know if he's coming? Because like, he's not talking to me. I don't know what's going on. And so I'm downstairs and they like mic me up and get me. already before I go up into the apartment and I'm like oh god this is good yeah you felt and actually a part that you don't see is I get there and there's like a courtyard outside of the apartment but it's not there's not door access to that courtyard from like our apartment and so I see

that he's out there and I'm like already on camera so I'm kind of looking around like what am I supposed to do and then I climb out through the window in my dress and wedges and Did what? What did you do? So were you like, hello? Yeah. I was like, hi, what am I supposed to do? Oh, my God.

And then you're like, come back. It's funny when you don't know how TV works. You're like, wow, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. I was like, I'm just, whatever you guys want me to do. Where's my ex? Like, I don't know. Oh, my gosh.

So then he comes up and drops this bomb on you. Yeah. Yeah. And it was very, I'm just, again, so. impressed with how they were even able to like bring this into like a semi-coherent conversation because the grasping at straws was crazy like I know the conversation looks like it's just about like the physical connection but that was only the very end of the conversation. What was the beginning?

He was just saying random stuff. Like I really didn't. I don't think so. But he was like I have no idea. It was just very like very broken up, very confusing. Like he would say something about like he. it could be like, you're so liberal. And I was like, yeah.

Like, that's like all I talked about in the pods. Yeah, you knew it. And, like, he agreed with everything I said in the pods, which is crazy knowing what I know now. But it was like, you're liberal, you're this, you're that. Like, all of these things that were like very disjointed. And then finally was like, well, what about our physical connection? And I was like, what are you talking about? So, yeah.

I always have something to say. And I don't. I'm just like, when he said he. usually dates like Pilates girls. Like when you're saying these things, what was happening in your body internally? Like, what were you feeling? I guess probably like what people feel when they were like on the show punked. Yeah. I was like, this is really like what the what's happening right now? Like this isn't real. There's no way that this is like a human being saying these things to another human being. Like there's no way. But I also was, you know, I do a lot of stuff where I got to stay

calm and like have our conversations and whatever. And so, you know, I'm really proud of myself that I was able to kind of like stay grounded in that moment and like worry about me instead of whatever was happening in front of me. I couldn't have had that much control, but you were like really taking a pause. But I'm sure you were also like, like you said, you felt punched, but you were pausing while also feeling like probably in some sort of fight or flight or freeze or something like that where you're like processing what this person is saying to you who you believe. believed was the love of your life. And they do a 180 when in my opinion, he saw your success, how your house and he just didn't feel, you know, men who have not worked on themselves or have

chosen any form of growth. All they do is they get emotionally stunted at the age that they haven't grown past. And that boy has not grown into a man who is secure in himself. And it was so transparent in that moment that I was happy you were able to see that, but it must have hurt so badly at the same time. Was it like immediate ick, you're not my person? Or were you hurting and going like, do we work through this? So I was definitely hurting, but there was not even a millisecond of entertaining it. Not even a million. Like it was immediate. And again, had this happened years ago when I wasn't as old as I am or haven't been through the things that I've been through, there's no way I would have been able to do that. I would have, I would have,

and like crushed it's still of course i hurt my feelings like i'm human i was very hurt it was very much like a gut punch but also simultaneously i was like well you don't deserve to be in my airspace like you're getting nothing more from me and that's part of the reaction i think too because i do think that especially these like really insecure men they love to come back and be like oh bitch is crazy. She was yelling. And like, you're not even getting that. You don't deserve it. I don't, I don't need to. Like, you're, he just was gone at that moment for me.

And do you think from your like lack of response the way he probably wanted to? Was he backtracking? Was he embarrassed? Or was he really sure of what he was saying? He seemed, I guess, as sure as he can seem. Like, I don't know how sure he is of anything. he was very straightforward and very like, oh, well, this is just how I feel. You know, like, you can't blame me for how I feel. But in the same breath was also like, I'm so excited to continue doing this with you. I can't wait to meet your family, blah, blah, blah. While I'm sitting there like, what?

Why would I ever let you near my family? Are you kidding? Now, was there any other red flags leading up to that? Because when you spend that much time, I know, like, how many hours do you think total you would talk to him before you guys got engaged? Gosh, I have no idea. Yeah. I mean, like, some of the, like, getting to the end, some of the pod dates are like six, seven hours long. It's a lot. Like, you really talk about everything. And so it's, it's crazy because y'all only get to see this teeny amount of it. You know how it is. But like, we talked about everything. And I think that he did such a great job of just like echoing back whatever he thought I wanted here. And I think people at their word. Like, I'm a very trusting person, as I think y'all have seen.

But, like, you know, I'm going to ask you questions. I'm going to tell you what's important to me. And whatever I get back, I'm going to assume you're telling the truth and you're being real with me. How can somebody fake it that badly, though? Like to the point of knowing your political status, your job, your career, your life, who you are as a woman and how you've gotten there, how did he think he could trick you until, like, when? At one point did he think like, oh, shit, I got to.

because so you said he knew you were a liberal which shocks you that he was agreeing with everything until now what have you heard now is he like very strong stance on something else and vocal about it I mean I don't talk to him like I don't follow him I don't really know anything about him but I get a lot of screenshots from the girlies um and yeah just I mean even beyond just like his following and like what that all looks like just a lot of like kind of like the red pill ideology he was clearly spewing at the mixer, which I have no clue. I don't have many favorite parts of the new year, but I try and look for the little things in the new year, like setting little tiny goals and making some 2026 resolutions.

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I can be a chameleon like in certain ways where I'm like, what kind of friend do you need me to be? Do you need me to be a funny one? Do you need me to be an empathetic one? Like, I could be like that. But in a bamboozily way where you're like, I don't even know who I am and I'm going to douche you on national television, that takes a whole other level of like, just I don't even have a word for him.

And it's been so hard because is it absolutely comical to see all the memes and the way people are, you know, rallying behind you, but also like totally making fun of them. Now, I have a question because to me, I'm like one of those, yes, when they go low, I'll stoop right to their level and I'll go lower. I'm like not above being higher than that. But I find it hard when we fight fire with fire where a lot of people now are attacking his looks, but we're trying to say like, hey, that's so wrong and you're beautiful, just as beautiful because she's a woman and because she is smart and she is kind and you are all these

wonderful things. And now we're, you know, making short jokes and like saying he doesn't look like he goes to CrossFit. What is your take on the like hypocrisy of the internet now bullying him about his looks? Even though I want him to get not bullied held accountable, but I don't know if I agree with the bullying back on the body shaming. Yeah, I agree. I think that my. Which must be hard. It's really hard. It's really hard to deal with. And I think that, you know, the things that have come from this where it's like messages from like incredible female doctors and mom. that are like, I want my daughter to see this and to handle things like that. Like, that's the stuff I'm, like, living for right now.

Yeah. The content just, like, roasting him is more, honestly, it makes me kind of sad because the whole thing is, I mean, like, my whole, like, center, my whole character is, like, everybody's human. And I don't, nobody should feel, like, shit about how, like, they look or something like that. Right. And so, like, bringing him down is kind of, like, it's just so negative. And it's, like, also, like, don't. give it attention. Like, you know what I mean? I think just I mean in certain ways. Yeah. Yeah. Taking the positive side and saying like, yes, let's lift up women. Like let's do this positive thing.

That part is awesome. But, you know, losing it to tear somebody else down. I'm like, that's kind of the issue that we're talking about. Exactly. That's what the hypocrisy of the internet sometimes stresses me out even though I'm like, I'll sit here and call him names because I'm just so disgusted with that level of behavior towards anyone and including. women, but to me it is so clear that something has happened in his life where he has never felt worthy of love. He has never felt worthy in his own body, in his own mind. It is so apparent to me that this is an emotionally stunted man who does not know who he is. I keep saying that and I'll probably say it a million more times because it's so obvious to me. So it's like he needs mental help.

He needs therapy. He needs to be held accountable. And I love that the internet's going to do that. And most importantly, I have loved watching the internet rally behind you and show you so much love. And like I think, and I said it in one of the comments I think you saw where I didn't think for one second that you didn't know your worth. Yes, that hurts your feelings. Yes, that can absolutely like trigger something in you if you've ever had, which what woman has not had body image issues. But I know you know your worth. And in that moment, I was like, I wanted to like high five you, hug you, give you a slap on the but and be like, you know your worth. You know your worth. I want to know what you can like

attribute that to what I know like as as women get older, we really do value our worth a lot more and more and we don't put up with this this bullshit from, you know, these men. But what, what is it? What have you done to get yourself to that point to know your worth? So much of it is age, I think. And just what I've been through. But it's hard work. Like just like anything out, like getting out of your med school, getting to where we are in our lives. Like, anything that has been like worthwhile for me has been really hard and I after my divorce spent years focusing on myself focusing on what I love about myself what I can be better at and really like respecting myself and holding myself really highly and I don't think I ever really did that before

I was very good at being like you know I'm a bad bitch don't mess with me I'm going to do my thing whatever but it was like almost a little superficial and then it was like I had to kind of like fall apart and have this idea of what I thought I needed to be fall apart in order to rebuild it and be like, no, I actually just like who I am. And it doesn't matter what I've done. It's just who I am. I love that. It's just then you can't accept anything less. You can't even think about it. Like I did all this shit for her and I'm going to let her get screwed. No. You radiate that too. Like in no part of me does that even feel performative. Like I believe, I believe that women when they are kicked down, like going through divorce, going through hard things in life.

Our natural reaction is to feel and then we grow. It's just what we do. And when men get hurt, they get ego bruised. They repeat the same patterns and most of them. There are many men out there who I will give credit to that, you know, when they do the work, they see the way that it helps them grow and reflect on who they are. But instead, they just don't. And women do.

And I see it happen all the time. I see it happen all the time where it's like just the same shit over and over again. And you want better for them because you're like, trust me, I've been rock bottom. I've been there and I've, I had the choice to stay the same where I had the choice to grow. And I chose growth. I chose me. And I can just see that all over you, that you have chosen you and that you're in that place now where you were like, this motherfucker.

Exactly. Exactly. And like you should do that without hesitation. And if you're not doing it yet, keep doing the work. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I feel that so hard. And do you know at all is he, I keep looking into this to see if he's remorseful, but I can't tell if it's stuff he has made comments on from before the show or during the show.

But after, has he apologized or made a statement or anything? He did call me the morning after the mixer, like a spiral because he like knew what he did. And I basically, I answered the phone and said, you know, two things you need to know, like I'll talk to you for a few minutes, but this is our last conversation. And the other thing is, if you're calling me to try to feel better, that's not going to happen. So if you'd like to have a conversation and knowing those two things, fine. But that was, again, that was, I think a spiral. Like, I know what I just did.

I really f*** up. I don't know what to do. And I basically said spend some time in therapy and talk to your mother. What is? Yeah, I guess what, gosh, this is where I also feel so sad because I'm like, people sign up for this, but their families don't. and now their families are roped into it. And I always feel so bad for everybody's families that have to go through this kind of, like, level of bullying and, you know, drama and faces everywhere in comments, everywhere.

How is your family handling everything? My family is incredible. And they, like, regardless of what would have happened, like, I have the most insane support system. Like, I talk so much about all this, like, self work I've done and everything. But, like, the level of privilege that's even allowed me to do that or to get that is the fact that my family and friends are, like, unbelievable. like a support system, they're so, so wonderful.

And, you know, no matter what else is going on, just the level of support and love. And, like, we believe in you is, it's overwhelming. That's so beautiful. That's so important and so beautiful. And I just, yeah, not many people or maybe the ones that need it the most don't have it also, which is sad. As a physician who understands bodies, like, on a scientific level, what is it like hearing attraction reduced to like an aesthetic feature when you know the body is so much more than

that. Did it trigger anything for your round body image or are you in a place? Because I'm just going to give an example. When I froze my eggs, it shifted something in my brain with my body dysmorphia to be proud of what my body was capable of doing instead of being so focused on what it looked like. Now do I still have it? Yes. But I just want to know for you like, I guess the attraction reduced to aesthetic fitness. Like what was that like for you as a freaking doctor? Oh, it was just gross. It was gross. I know just to simplify even, you know, our physical attributes to that, to simplify our body to that. But like, it's a human. And the whole point to me was, you know, if I'm already in love with this person, if I already care so much about this person, I'm going to think they're gorgeous

and perfect no matter what. That's the whole point of the show. That's how it works. Right. So to me how- Which show did you think you're on? I know. I know. And that's what, again, you know, part of he was like, is this just an out? Like he thought if he was mean enough, then I would just leave and he wouldn't have to deal with it. But then to follow it up with like, I want to still do this. I was so confused as to like where we were going. Like, what are you trying to do here? Like, I know what I'm going to do now.

But like, what was your goal in that moment? I really don't know. I don't think he still knows. Like, and then how do you not? And maybe this is more for women listening, not so much you because you've kind of explained that you've really worked on yourself. But how are we not supposed to internalize comments like that and then maintain? confidence when someone critiques something so surface level, but then it still sticks with you.

I think the like simple answer is like you can't, it's going to happen. I think you just have to accept the fact that that's going to make you feel shitty and you're never going to not hear it in your head. And you know, you're talking about like body mismorphia and body image and things like that. There are none of us who are about that. They're just aren't. And the society we've grown up in, what we see as being perfect and how we're supposed to look and how everything is supposed to be. There's no, we're not superheroes. Like, it doesn't matter how healed you are or anything like that. That is always going to hurt. That's always going to feel like shit. You just have to know your opinion and your worth is so much more important than that. I guess that's like what I would

want women to understand about projection. Like so many women take these things personally. I mean, I do it too, but I can, I'm kind of getting to a point my life at 40 years old that I can see where things are coming from. It was very clear that his was projection. So much what men, even just nasty bullies online, friends that say mean things to you, relationships that are awful, men who say awful things to you. What do you wish women understood about projection? It's just never about you. And that's why you have kind of like this unshakable sense of self, because you have to convince your brain, however you do that, however you rewire your brain, that this is the truth. And, you know, everyone else can have their opinion, but it doesn't actually matter because

this is me, this is who I am, this is my core, and people can say whatever they want. It all hurt my feelings, but I'm going to continue to move forward in what I know is the truth. I personally, I've dated men where, you know, I was technically chosen, but I didn't feel safe or valued. And it was very confusing because it felt like, oh, did you just feel like you won or you like made the TV show or it was a competition? Like, yes, I was chosen, but again, did not feel valued or safe, I guess. And I just feel like those are very different things. Did that kind of resonate for you? Absolutely.

And I think that something that, again, you know, you think like, oh, I've learned this lesson or I've learned this thing, but it's like the more you throw yourself into uncomfortable situations, the more you realize, like, maybe I didn't fully get it. And I think that, you know, I've never really relied on anybody to make me feel safe. Like I don't even give people that opportunity because they, exactly, they don't, nobody's in a romantic way, nobody's ever shown up like that. Nobody's ever been reliable. And so I have created a safe space for myself.

And it's very easy for a mediocre man to kind of step into that warm glow and be like, oh, yeah, I can do this. I can say what you want. And, you know, make me feel like they are bringing something beautiful when really they're just in my beautiful space. I love that. God, you're amazing. You really are.

Did your, okay, I'm just thinking from a perspective, if I was your ex that, that you got a divorce. divorced from. Did he reach out? Because I would. I'd be like, damn, I'm messed up. Has you even heard from him? No, we don't really talk, but we are very much on fine terms. Like, you know, if anything's going on with either the family, families very, very close. If anything's going on with either the families or like anything like that, we can easily reach out to each other. But this isn't something that we've discussed. Don't you wish that you could prescribe things like humility and audacity? Yes. I have prescribed like brownies before I would be like okay like your husband has to make you brownies tonight because like

you're just having a hard guy and I would write oh my god that's that's so cute I thought you meant like weed brownies to settle everybody down I was like I will take a batch of those thank you oh my god that's so cute do you just like do you do you absolutely love what you do I feel like you just you just you just glow oh thank you in life thank you I really love what I do and I really I had I think no concept of what this would do for like women in medicine, the amount of messages and things that I've gotten from women in medical school, women in residency, women who, you know, are well ahead of me in their careers just to be like, this is so cool and it's empowering and like, thank you for representing us. Like those are, I'm going to cry every time I get one of those. Like, it's just so,

and mom's being like, I want my little girl to watch how you handled it. Like, that's the shit that matters to me. Like, that's the actual life stuff. And, That's the whole point of everything. It's just, it's been so. And that's what it should be. I realize that going on TV, you've got to have the characters, right? You've got to have the idiot. You've got to have the amazing woman.

They cast for these reasons. It just sucks that, you know, I mean, it's kind of a double-edged sword where you have to be hurt, but then you get so empowered from it and you see the voice that you now have for women that you wish you had to look up to. And you're like, I get to be that. Thanks to this dweeb. Yeah, 100. And it's, I think that going through life all of the shitty times that we have, it's always like,

why is this happening? Like, there's always a reason. There's always a reason. And sometimes that gets like very rote. And it's like, oh, my God, like, how many times that I have to be kicked all I'm down. And it's like, this is such a beautiful silver lining to me and like so worth it. The TV aspect of everything must be so crazy for you because you go from, you know, your life to going on TV. What surprised you the most seen everything back on television?

I'm not sure what surprised me the most. I definitely, I need to be better about washing my lash extensions. My sparkly eyeshadow fallout was not doing me any favor. I didn't notice. I really, I promise you on everything. I didn't even notice at once. Okay, good. Thank you. It is crazy what people notice, especially about yourself, what you'll notice, which you wouldn't know in real life. And then you see it. It's like, even me right now, I'm like, who cares of it? Don't have makeup. But then I'll see the clip back and I'll be like, I'm so hard on myself. I know. We're not nice to ourselves. No, we've got to be nicer because I really didn't notice the last thing at all. But did you watch

and like, did you just feel like everything was represented pretty like how you thought it was? I think so. I did a lot of like self-talk during it. But like do not because I, you know, I grew up dancing, singing, theater, all of these sorts of things. And the whole time it was just like this is real life and this is for like a real thing. And like just don't edit yourself. don't like just be like this silly loud weirdo that you are because if this is leading you to your person you better be you know in order to get there what a novel idea right just being yourself to find the person that you're saying i mean i know i i realize that that does get a little complicated when there's production and there's cameras and you're not used to it and you're nervous

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Like we got tons of listeners writing and asking, are a lot of men in Ohio like this? Or are there better ones out there? Well, I am not a big dater in general. I try to avoid it. It's scary and weird. But I am, I think I'm very lucky in that, you know, in what I do and the people that I surround myself with and like my hobbies and things like that. I am exposed to such a huge variety of people. And I know a lot of really good men. I do. You know, I think. I think dating is a whole different ballgame. But, you know, it's, I don't think it matters where you are. I agree. It's just like there's, there's not, I always shit on men because I'm just like bitter at them half the time and it's very easy too and they make it easy.

Yeah. I mean, obviously there's a lot of like not nice women out there too. But I just feel like it's kind of like the world. There's so much hate. There's so much negative. There's so much shit. But you can always find the good or the good ones. It's sad that you have to look so hard, but they are out there because they're out there probably protecting their peace.

They're not the loud ones that were all like, God, shut off. What are you doing? They're the quiet ones protecting their peace and surrounding themselves with good people. And you just got to, you got to find them. Because I think so many women that are listening right now are probably like, God, like, are there any good ones out there? But the truth is not a lot. But there's not a lot of good people out there anymore in general. And that's what's so defeating.

It is. And it's so easy to like spiral. into that. It's so easy to be like so sad and so mad. And, you know, every morning we wake up and see more shit and it's just awful. And I think it's really important. I think we have a responsibility to know those things and be aware of those things. I think we also have a responsibility to ourselves, like to our own mental health to like find the good, find the helpers, find the positive people and find those people who care about the things you care about and enter your life around them and the other stuff comes.

What do you plan on doing now that you're going to obviously have this platform? And I know you are a passionate person. What do you want to do with your platform moving forward? I mean, obviously, please, for the love of God, take brand deals, do all the fun things. Like, this is such a fun time to like make money and find new things that you love and promote things that you believe in. But do you have like a plan for social media of what you want it to look like for yourself? I have no plan.

I am so hopeful when it comes to social media. I'm like, I just, I'm going to continue to share all my like political stories and stuff about vaccinations and educational shit. And if people don't like it, they don't need to follow me. Yeah, I don't know. I'm doing my best to try to like keep my head on straight right now because it is crazy overwhelming. I can't keep up with anything. But I'm just continuing to, you know, move the way that I would otherwise. Would you do reality TV again?

I always say never say never. So maybe. I don't know. Well, there's so many fun ones out there that you could. do and like they take people you know Netflix always takes people from their shows and puts them in other places and I would obviously I think everyone would love to see you on a perfect match and all those ones you know I feel like your smile is saying it all and I know I can't ask anything but did did the experience for you change what you're now looking for or has it kind of always remained the same

because you're pretty solid and who you are it stayed the same if anything I just like doubled down I'm just louder and like more sure of what I deserve Totally. And I do want to talk on the fact that you are a literal doctor. I do want to like amplify that, not just stay on like men topic the whole time. But a lot of listeners wrote in and wanted to know how you were able to take that time off. Yeah. So I thought that was going to be like a major issue. I was like, there's no way even if I wanted to do this. Because when they reached out, I kind of was like, oh, God bless. Like thank you so much. But absolutely not. You do not want me. I am old. I am divorced. I am boring. This is not going to be fun for you. You are like someone that women can look up to and go, oh, right, getting into your later 30s and turning 40 is the peak of our life when we're where we want to be. This is a minute. We need more people like you on TV. Every year is better. And like I definitely heard women say that in the past.

You know, when I was younger, I'm like, oh, okay. If you say so, but it's actually true. Like I just fell in love with myself and my life so much more each year. But when I came to, you know, my company and was like, hey, like, this is the situation. Honestly, I was kind of hoping that would be like, we might out. Like, they were going to be like, no way. Like, absolutely not. And they were like, sure, sounds good.

Like, I just had to use up all my vacation. But they were just kind of like, yep, just like don't do X, Y, and Z. And like, have fun. And I was like, oh, no. You're like, oh, shit, it's really happening. And they knew what show it was your company. Yeah. I was really, really careful because like my job is like huge to me.

I love my job. I love where I work. And so I went through HR legal, all the things because I was like, I would never want to risk my like life for, you know, this opportunity. And I wanted to be aware that like they felt comfortable. I felt comfortable before I, you know, kind of took this leap. Totally. I mean, that is a huge social experiment, as they call it, which like you don't know how it's

going to go. What was harder? Med school. or the pods? Oh, God. Definitely med school. The pods are so hard. Sorry. No, I'm just kidding. I figured that was the answer. But mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I don't know. You never know. But have people, I guess you haven't really been back to work since the show aired. So, like, patients haven't really recognized you or this has happened? I was. So in the, like, for the first couple of drops, I was like not, again, just like not realizing the, like, scope of,

this and I was just like yeah I have to go to work about like you know I took off one day to like binge the episodes at 3 a I'm with some of the girls on my couch and then like went back and had like a full day in the hospital full day of clinic like and I just I didn't really think about what that was going to be like and it was more like I mean I mostly work at the hospital so people are sick sick like they're not I also don't really look like this at work let's be real um but I you know you look like this no I wish I looked like that I come into my like hot and scrubs and like, you know, you know, it's intense shit. And, you know, that's the last thing in your mind.

But I will tell you my nurse girlies, you know, like sending messages like, come get a picture with us, all that sort of stuff. Like, that was fun. That's so cute. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Now, I've realized that recently there are two types of people in this world, the ones who ignore their car insurance and just hope for the best, I guess. And the ones who are out here switching to Progressive and actually saving hundreds. of dollars. Honestly, that's a pretty good feeling, don't you think? Progressive offers discounts for things like paying in full, owning a home and more so you're not just getting great coverage. You're

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That is such a good question. So I am, it's actually so, no, it's so funny because I am, like, anyone will tell you, like, safety is my middle name. I am very risk averse. I am very, like, cautious. You know, it was totally outside of any of my, like, comfort zone or logic to do something like this. And that's exactly why I did it because it's every time that I like met school was terrifying.

Everything I've like everything I've done that's been worthwhile has been terrifying and uncomfortable. Like you have to keep making yourself uncomfortable or you're just going to like stay stagnant. So I was like, great, this sounds terrible. Let's do it. And the like universe kept being like you're doing it because you're like maybe my out is. Maybe I won't have to. Maybe. But this is obviously your path.

I always love the saying, what's meant for you won't miss you. You obviously are supposed to have this voice and platform. And thank God you do because I'm way too scared to talk about anything political on social media. I'm like, oh God, I'm going to get torn apart. But I'm like glad that you have this big, brave voice and you stand up for what's right and you don't care what people think and you know who you are. It's just all very amazing. And I want to know what your biggest takeaway from this whole thing has been. Just to stay true to yourself.

Like each time that you want to like make yourself a little bit quieter, a little bit smaller, and you don't do it, you just keep like reiterating to yourself that you are enough and that it's good. And the more I am myself, the more I find myself in situations with people that make my life so much better. You just got to lean into it. Like be silly, be weird, be loud, like say what you mean with your whole chest. And your life just gets better, better, better. Without tuting my own horn, because I've been saying how amazing you are, you remind me of me. When I heard from you, I was like, oh my God, I look up to you so much. Like I just, I think you're so cool.

I think you're amazing. You know who you are. You are a voice for women. And I just, that's very, very high praise. And I really appreciate it. Well, I'm no doctor, but I can make a funny joke. You're out there saving lives and I make people giggle one podcast at a time. You know, that's maybe the.

most important thing that we have in life is joy and laughter. So let's keep going. I do agree with that. I do agree with that. Before I let you go, what are you excited about moving forward now? Are we, we don't date that much, you said. So like, none of that are, but what are you open to? What are you excited for in all aspects of life right now? I'm really trying to not have any expectations or any plan because, again, as I just mentioned, that is way outside of my comfort zone. And each time I force myself to be outside of my comfort zone, magic happen. So I'm really trying to just kind of go with the flow, which is not my personality. It's so funny that you say that.

That's like one of my favorite thoughts. And I am a very go with the flow person. And I've always thought that whole saying that you just said like when you step outside your comfort zone is when magic happens. We have all proved that to ourselves over and over again. And I want more people to believe in it and just do things. that like obviously within reason just things that you know like why are you being pulled or called to do this and why is it scary for you and could you be mistakening fear with excitement?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Also on this podcast, I always make people do an embarrassing story. Did anything embarrassing happen in the pods where they didn't air it but like something where like I always think I'm like, what if you let a toot slip while you were just like on camera or did anything embarrassing happen? It's so much worse, Caitlin. What?

So, you know how they do like the dinner dates or whatever in the pod? So Chris and I did like a dinner date and he and I'm vegetarian and I was like, I don't really care like what sounds good to you. And he picked sushi and like, oh, okay. So I had a veggie roll. But I choked, like choked, choked, choked in the pods eating my sushi. So like I like halfway swallowed like this seaweed wrap essentially and it was like stuck in my throat. And I was choking, like tears coming down my face. And I'm staring.

I'm making eye contact with the cameraman, like, behind the plexiglass. Like, bitch, you are my only chance if I need the only maneuver right now. And I literally pulled, this is so gross, but I pulled this out of my throat with my chopsticks. Oh, my gosh. And I never made a noise. With my chopsticks. I never made a noise. He didn't even know what happened.

It's like such a social commentary for women. Wait, that's so, yeah, yeah, that's so funny. Wait, do they do blooper reels on the show? I hope to God not. No, I hope they, I love a blooper reel. It's always just so, like, refreshing to see people be humans. But that's so, that makes me, like, want to gag. It was awful.

Oh, my gosh, that's so funny. Obviously, you do watch it back, because how could you not? When you're watching it back, is there any connection that surprised you either with yourself or with other couples? I don't think any of the actual connections surprised me that much. I was surprised by, I think, how emotional I was watching my friends be. Oh, yeah? Especially in the happy moments. Like, I, in that first drop, I watched it with my girlfriends.

I probably cried at least 50% of the time. Like, of the six hours, I was just stopping the whole time and rarely didn't have anything. to do with me. Just like watching them be happy and like watching these like beautiful little moments that obviously you're not there for in these couples. I was just surprised at how emotional I was seeing all of that back. Was there anyone that you watch back that you were like, I should have explored that connection a little deeper? No. That's amazing. Could I do one rapid fire and then let you go of just say the cast and you have to say one word to describe them? Oh God. Okay. Okay. And, Amber. Amazing. She seems like a funny little firecracker. He is hysterical and so strong.

Okay. Ashley. So funny. Like I wish you'd heard more of her jokes. She's just hysterical. Oh my God. She's so much fun. Is her name Alyssa who did the nail glue in the eye? Nice. She got engaged, didn't she? And she, but we didn't get to see that. Yeah. One word for her. Chaotic. Ha ha. Yes. Love chaotic. Emma. Emma. My heart. Alex.

Verbose. He talks a lot. He sure the hell does. Jordan. It's fun. He does seem like a little goose, like a little silly goose. Almost done. Mike.

Jersey. Vic. Another saint. Yeah, he seems like a saint. I really liked him right from the get-go. Connor. Sweetie. Is he a sweetie?

Sweetie. Well, then I have to go last but not least, Chris. Nothing. I was going to say lost. Just lost soul. I got nothing for that one. I got nothing. I love it.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I absolutely loved getting to know you a little bit better and talking to you. And I just really appreciate how you're open to these conversations. Because I think a lot of women saw themselves in that moment. And you didn't shrink, which I appreciate. You didn't shrink. You didn't apologize for your morals or your lifestyle. And you know what true beauty is.

So I also like that you didn't beg to be understood. You knew who you were in that moment. It was clear and it was powerful. And I just appreciate you taking the time so much to talk to me and I could have done it for another an hour. Oh, me too. Thank you so, so much for having me. This is so wonderful.

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And we're the host of Pop Apologist Podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real Housewives drama, and anything and everything, Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that A-listers might be more to

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