Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Jessica Batten

Episode Date: May 19, 2020

Jessica from Love is Blind joins Kaitlyn this week to talk about her experience on the show for the first time! She shares with Kaitlyn what life was like in the pods and the how being on the show affected her after it aired it Netflix and became bigger than she expected. Kaitlyn asks her to share her tips for the next generation of Love is Blind contestants and later, she shares some of her confessions! GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance LA CROIX – Enjoy La Croix sparkling water, a healthier alternative for you and your lifestyle. CALDREA – Get free shipping on orders of $50 or more when you buy online at Caldrea.com  BREYERS - To find out more about Breyers CarbSmart click here:  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Here's Caitlin. All right, Vinoes. Today I had the opportunity to talk to Jessica Batten from Love is Blind. I've been waiting to have her on as a guest for a while now. Very excited today's the day. Biggest show on Netflix. Everybody's excited. She happens to be a Vino.

Everybody give her a warm welcome and tweet her. Send her an Instagram message with love and enjoy this interview. with Love is Blinds, Jessica Badden. You have not done much press since Love is Blind. Is there a reason? Is it like you guys didn't do press or did other cast members do press and you just chose not to? Yeah.

So the other cast members did a ton of press and I think they're mostly, most of them are still doing press. But for me, I just needed a minute, right? To adjust everything that was happening. And I just kind of went under the radar a bit. um i did some press right before the wedding aired but even during those interviews the reporters were telling me what was in the episodes and i hadn't even seen the episodes what's pretty wild yeah so i have not talked about love is blind at all i had to jog my memory a bit and go through my journal

before this to make sure i gosh because some of it you know it's like i definitely try to forget about you know um so i'll do my best in jogging my memory because it was you know it was over a year and a half ago at this point oh my gosh was it really is that when you recorded over a year and a half ago everyone's asking you know where did you get this cardigan or these shoes like they don't sell them anymore it's been that long like wow i didn't even realize it was that long that's wild okay how did you even get on this show um so i actually i had a girlfriend who went on the Bachelor. She's on Bradwell, Madison, and she got this email, forwarded along to me, and, you know, kind of coerced me into having a conversation. And I talked to casting director, and I really liked

the concept, because it was, you know, hey, this whole world of social media dating is very desensitizing. You're swiping on people's faces, and this is a much better way to go about finding the love of your life. And I was just getting out of a relationship. I was kind of in a year of just saying yes to a lot of things. So I thought, what the hell? Take a chance. And that's when I signed up. And actually, I went back and forth on it for a while. And I was thinking about this earlier. I had the contract, right? And the contracts look really, really scary. Or terrifying. Oh, terrifying. And I went away with some girlfriends and my best friend who's an attorney and she was like terrified of this yeah that's a good that's a good girlfriend to have but also

a bad girlfriend now because then they're like what are you doing don't sign this exactly she was not do not love the position that i was in so anyway we're just sitting on the pier one day we went to charleston we're sitting on the pier one day and this these pigeons came through and just unloaded on us literally pooped all over us in our hair in a girl's food all over the contract and it was like I still went through with it like that was my sign you know yeah but they say birds pooping on you is good luck they I don't know why people say birds pooping on you is good luck but they do say that are you serious yes yeah for me I think it's remains to be seen yes okay well but yeah that was that was it and then I decided to you know

take the chance um I mean I know it was partly a rough go but I mean, I really enjoyed you. And I think a lot of people did. I just know that the hate is loud and, you know, whatever, that's just, that is what it is. But would you, would you do it again? Or was that like a thing where you're like, you know what? I, that was something I really shouldn't have done. Yeah.

So honestly, it changes daily for me. You know, I get so many lovely messages. And like you say, the hate is really loud. But the DMs that I get, I cry over. People sharing really personal intimate stories where they were. resonated with me. And, you know, I'm forever grateful for that. I've had some really awesome experiences and I've met some life-changing people because of, you know, signing out for it. But there are other days where I'm at work and, you know, I'm a little embarrassed when I'm, you know,

communicating with my colleagues and I know that they've seen me, you know, three sheets to the wind and crying. I mean, same. I don't like to regret anything. And I know that, you know, it's it leads to good things so i think i think i'll stick with yeah i'm happy i signed up for it yeah because even if it doesn't make sense right now it might you know later down the road or i i feel the same way about when i came off i mean i everyone's you know journey is so much different when i came off the show that i was on i remember being really upset about it and feeling like i shouldn't have done it or certain things like that were really hard but just as time goes on i think if you you you know continue to just i mean you're back to you're back to you're

back to work, you're working hard, you haven't, you know, really done much press or talked about it. I feel like you're doing all the right things to move forward in the way that works for you. Some people, it works for them to, you know, ride that wave and do the press and, you know, make something of it. But this is your decision and this is what makes you happy. And I think it's cool that you didn't, you know, you chose to do what you needed to do for your own happiness and move forward in your own way. Yeah, and it's definitely, you know, I'll never forget. I flew to Chicago the day that it came out and I hadn't watched it yet. And when I landed in Chicago, and actually, I don't know if you know that I'm a big time vinyl. Yes, I found out you're a vinyl. Yeah. So I landed in Chicago and I really didn't know. I didn't know in like how this is going to be received or really what the edit would look like or how it was going to play out. And I landed and my Facebook was blowing up and I saw some comments from the vinos and it like broke

my heart what I saw, you know, so you're just kind of in fight or flight. And in that moment, and I just decided I'm not going to, you know, push anything. I'm just going to kind of go under the radar and try to figure this out. But I thought at that moment my health is the most important thing, you know, and just making sure that I'm good. And then I really respect you for doing that because that is the number one priority and that is what it should be. So good for you for doing that. And I know on behalf of all the vinos, you know, you catch yourself, even being from reality TV, I catch myself saying things at the screen watching The Bachelor or The Bachelorette and forgetting that I was in that same position thinking,

how could people who have gone on the show or know what this is like be saying these things online? And we all forget it's a form of entertainment. And we all forget it's a show that you tune in to watch these crazy parts and to see the people who've had too much to drink. That's just, that's just reality TV. And it's unfortunate that they don't see like so many other beautiful moments or special times. But that's, so it's hard for viewers to remember that while commenting. And I know that so many people, once they, you know, knew that you were in the group, kind of had to do like a self-check and say, wow, why did I say that? You never know who's in the group.

and we're all just people trying to like get through, you know, life and some of us are on the biggest show in Netflix doing it. And how, you know, how hard would that be if that was you in that position? And I think that's the number one thing people find they don't think about that. They don't think about how hard it would be to be in your shoes. Right. Exactly. I mean, obviously it was a unique situation. And I think I even threw it out there because someone had posted the preview for the show.

And I said, oh, hey, you know, me and Lexi, skipper, our vinos, and we're going to be on the show. Let us know what you think. Oh, my gosh. All right, though we are apart these days, we're sharing more. And Guyco would like to say thanks. Thanks for sharing your savage dance moves. Thanks for sharing your DIY haircut fails. Thanks for sharing your inner lip sync star. Now it's Guyco's turn to share two with the GEICO give back, a 15% credit on car and motorcycle policies for current and new customers. And because Guyco's committed for the long haul, the 15% credit lasts your full policy term. Visit guyco.com slash give back for info and eligibility.

Learn more about GEICO's 15% credit on car and motorcycle policies at guyco.com slash give back. It's so wild how much this show blew up. Like, did you guys know? I mean, did you know it was going to be on Netflix? We did know it was going to be on Netflix. We knew that it was, so the production company created the show called Married at first sight, which used to be my biggest watch it.

And I'm like, this is my worst nightmare. You know, I didn't know until we showed up that it was the same production company that was putting this show together and they wanted to sell it to Netflix. And I knew just based on, so we were in a soundstage in South Atlanta and our soundstage was next to Jurassic Park and ours was bigger. What? So I knew based on the amount of money that was being spent that it was probably going to be a big deal and Netflix would

would buy it. So we all kind of kind of thought that. And then it was funny because I would tell my friends, I'm like, guys, I think this is going to be a big deal. And they're like, no. I mean, I'm sure it's just going to be like, you know, on lifetime or something and you're going to fly under the radar with us. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, man. It's, it's huge. I mean, people are obsessed. Like all, you know, who is like the biggest celebrity that has said, you know, watch the show. Oh my gosh. So I think Gwyneth, so comments by celebs, I didn't even know that was a thing until a couple weeks ago, but someone, there was a meme, all the memes are like, all the memes. There's so many that are just like my drunk face. Um, but Gwyneth Paltrow commented and

said, I thought everyone knows who Jessica Baton is or something like that. And I had to take a moment that. See, I mean, it's, I mean, you know deep down who you, who you know, deep down who you are and what TV does and all these things and then you then you just have a moment where you're like gwyneth paltrow just said everybody knows who i am and like and you're still just you know being true to who you are and doing what you do so that's that's a pretty cool thing in my opinion where are you quarantining right now a moment i'm in l.a oh you're in l. oh yes i'm like it's so i'm so nosy i'm like god that's a really nice place you're in for l. i don't own this house I just rent it, and it's like a designer house.

So thank you. Yeah, it's a nice place to live. So obviously a lot of people right now are making comparisons between dating in the pods and being quarantined right now. Is that similar? What were some of the pros and cons of the pod life that we didn't get to see as a viewer? Yeah, it's so similar. In the pods, you didn't have access to your phone, you know, social media,

friends, family, TV. All the time or just in the pods? This was just in the pod. So this was like 10 days. Wait, wait, wait. Hold up a second. You are in the pods for only 10 days before you get engaged? Yes, ma'am.

How long are you in the pods? Like per day. So it's a 10 day stretch and you start with, so it starts out 15 guys, 15 girls. Yeah. And you have 15 minute speed dates basically. And then every night you rank the. guys and they rank you and then there's some system where the next day they'll pair you with whoever you know whoever liked you and you liked back so and then the dates would get longer

and you'd go meet up with with less guys basically so i probably talk to mark for four or five hours total whoa i mean i say whoa but i also like understand the concept of when you're in a mindset of you know kind of like eyes on the prize or you're just focusing in on one person and the conversation and knowing there's the proposal and that you could get married like your mindset is in such a different place than just dating like you take everything so much more seriously your conversations are extremely deep and like way more than you talk about on regular dates. So you do move faster and get to know someone on a much deeper level than regular dating. But that's still, when I hear it, I'm like, well, and then people, you know, are so crazy that they're like, oh, well, how can you

like do this to somebody? You're like, well, I'm trying to figure it out here, people. Like, I just met him and tried to figure it out from there. Totally. And going back to your, you know, drawing a parallel of being quarantined to the pods. Yeah. Like, I had no, you have no physical connections with anyone. And you're in this sound stage in South Atlanta with all these women you just met

and things start to get really weird. So when you connect with someone, especially a man, right? You really feel super, super close with them. And it was just all over-dramatized in my mind. And I think in everyone else's. Yeah, of course. And then how, okay, because I know on the,

bachelor they do now not when i was on it um but they do now two drink limits did they have like whatever booze you wanted they have two drink limits on the bachelor recently yeah that's so nice no no no there's no limits but that's see here's the difference okay and i'm going to tell you something when i was on bachelor and bachelorette i think they were um protecting me because you know i i was going to be the bachelor's or maybe they knew that or not but then i was they had to protect me they could have shown me absolutely ship faced so many times because you are like and this was again before the two drink limit i mean they could have showed me oh man i don't even want to talk about it and so you guys i was wondering if you obviously like did or didn't have it because i just wonder

how available it is to you and all the other cast members, because if that was me, I would be the exact same way. Yeah. I mean, it was available, you know, and it makes me want to cry that you felt like you were protected, you know, because I didn't feel that way. And it's, you know, I was 34 years old at the time. Like, this is on me for sure. But, you know, seeing yourself blackout drunk and knowing that everyone that you know and love is seeing that too, it's been, like, that's been really, you know, it's been a nightmare. be honest. But yeah, I mean, once I knew I was in a really bad position and that I had gotten in over my head, you know, the issues come out, right? Like, it wasn't just drinking. It was like,

I don't know if anyone else, if anyone noticed, because this didn't get called out. It's like one thing I didn't get shamed for was like my weight, at least that I didn't see. My dog got shame for her weight, but not me. But I actually, I gained 10 pounds from when we got to Mexico through to the wedding. Like, I was just, cassidya taco, like, whatever it was, I was just like binge eating. Obviously, I was binge drinking. I was just uncomfortable. And I didn't even realize, like, when all these drunk scenes played out, I honestly didn't

even realize I knew the Barnett's birthday, drunk scene. I knew that. But honestly, it was way more than I even thought. And I thought, you know, everyone else was kind of in the same boat. Yeah, they unfortunately always have to have one, you know. And it was, you know, but I mean, who, there's certain things in, in life that when you're uncomfortable, when you're in a position that you're not used to, when you know you're being filmed, when you're with somebody that you know they're great and you want.

people do things I mean like me I would have wine you had wine some people binge in other ways and some people do other things but and for some reason whatever that thing is

that we should be like just there for somebody we shame them for and I I just hate for you that you had to go through I mean everyone on Netflix and you know you're on a freaking Netflix show so there's like pros and cons

but I just hate when people get shamed for things when they're in an uncomfortable position and they don't know how they would behave if they were in that situation. Right. And it seems like, you know, I look back and I'm like, why would I not drink more water? You know, I mean, I'm in professional situations all the time where I can't be drunk. And it's just, I just was way over my skis on this one. And that's okay.

And you, you know, you're doing so great for. for being in the position that you were in. And I wanted to talk to you about that too. Like what now does your life look like? What are you doing workwise? Did you go back to the same job? What is your life like minus quarantine? But like what is your life after the show?

Yeah. So after the show, actually I was in Atlanta and it kind of continued on a similar path. I was kind of isolating myself. I was really kind of depressed after the show wrapped. I'm like, what is this nightmare going on? fold, what's this going to look like? I kind of knew, you know, it was what was coming. And um, so I was having a really hard time. So I decided to move back home. And, you know, thankfully with my job, I was able to do that. Um, I work for a technology company. So I'm in the

same role. I went to Chicago for six months, kind of hung out with my family, got back into a really good mind space. Um, and really didn't date a whole lot. Like, haven't dated much since that show wrapped. And then I came out to L.A. about four months ago, it's just been my dream to live out here and to live between here in Chicago. So that's what I'm trying to do now. I'm here indefinitely for the near term. But yeah, so, you know, for me, I didn't really date a lot. And it took me a while to kind of get through some of the trauma that I experienced from being on the show. Yeah. And you say that. And I think people don't really understand. but it really is certain traumatic events in your life that has happened to you

that again, trust me, you will down the road and I'm sure you're already getting there that you see reasons why or how you maybe learn that you're stronger than you think or so many things you can learn from it and then at one point you will see the positive from it. But it is so hard what you went through. And I just, I do hope you get, you give yourself enough credit. Quick break to talk about La Croy's sparkling water. It delivers refreshment, flavor, and sparkle with an innocent twist of zero calories, zero sweeteners, and zero sodium. There are 27 LeCroy

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But how did you deal with that over the last year and a half? like what were your like self like love moments or what what did you do to stay grounded and okay yeah so i think um for me it's escaping and work so and you love what you do for work right yeah i love what i do and it's a totally different world than you know being on a television show you know um with the security of showing up every day and um you know having having a bunch to do. But yeah, it just kind of, like sometimes I would just forget that it even happened and then it would hit me.

But yeah, just really being heads down and focused on work. And I've done a ton of counseling and just, you know, trying to make sure that I get back to a good, you know, mental health place. And, yeah, just surrounding myself with friends and good people. And then now once the show has come out, it's been, you know, I've had great people around me and I was able to hand off my social media to a friend and now she's hired some people to help her. So I was able to, you know, detach totally from Instagram for a while and now I'm back on there. It's like nothing but love now on my account, which has been nice. Good. I love that because

you did all the right things. Like you really did what a mature, emotionally mature woman would do in a situation like that. Like a lot of people would get really wrapped up in that and go down a spiral and rabbit hole of negative emotions and feelings and certain things. And I just think it's great that you did that. Well, you know, what's interesting is I listened to Off the Vine for so long. And I was taking tidbits that I didn't realize would serve me in the future. And, you know, I knew Karen's and I knew about, you know, not watching certain shows that would trigger you and all these, all these things that I had no idea would apply. So I have to think of you. That is so sweet. I love hearing that. If I can help anyone in any way get through any sort of reality TV.

I'm like, let me help you out. Like every bachelor or bachelor. Because I also, like there's Julia who's on listen to your heart right now, who's getting some slack for, you know, speaking her mind. And I did a podcast with her. And it's like, I always just want to reach out to say, let me help you through this, but also know that you now have a platform to do something good with, you know? like okay you had yeah whatever whatever you went through is it's hard and i don't want to discredit that

because i've been through something hard and i understand but as long as you move forward in the in a positive way and use your platform like now i told julia i'm like you they gave you a platform to use your voice it's your favorite thing in the world to do is sing and and you have passion for it and you get to have that now through you know your social media and the show and and and all the noise passes. So I'm so glad you're getting all the love on social media now. And so happy you're I know it makes me very happy. And I hope they're showing you lots of love too. Yes. Well, someday when I reactivate my Facebook again, I'll get back in there. It's coming. Yes. Come back. We want you in and we'll be very positive and loving your way. And then so Netflix announced

that there's going to be more love is blind coming our way, which I know most people are definitely excited about what advice would you give to others who might be interested in going on the show um yeah it's a good question so i would just say be ready right it's it's not an engagement at the end it's you're engaged and you have to be fully committed in that because you're going to be planning a wedding and i think if you have any reservations while you're planning a wedding um it's it may not go the way you wanted to so you really have to trust the process and be willing for, you know, not America, but the world to see, you know, everything that that you've got. Can you even prepare for that, though? Like, you know, you say, you say what I ask what advice you'd give and it's like you can't really because

how the happen. Right. It's you kind of have to, you can't have to trust yourself. Right? And take the leap. Yeah. And cross your fingers and your toes and all that because it didn't fall in my direction. But, you know, for some people it worked out, which makes me incredibly happy. Are people still together from the show? Yeah. There are three couples together.

Lauren and Cameron are married. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And Gigi and Damien are still dating. Oh, they are. Oh, that's awesome. They are. Yes.

So they got back together Okay, okay, so they got back together Are you still friends with anyone from the show? Yeah, I mean, I'm friends with everyone. I don't really, so after the show wrapped, everyone was kind of chatting back and forth on group me and I was so traumatized that I couldn't even really communicate with everyone and I just had to take myself out of the equation.

But, you know, I definitely have love for everyone and we all went through it together. So we're like a big family. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you kind of have to, you know, think of it that way because you guys are a part of something. So you're the first, you know, season and it's, it is freaking wild. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, I'm Autumn Calabrese, and I have a question for you.

How do you do life? I might be a superstar trainer, but I'm also a boy mom, sister, daughter, friend, and entrepreneur. You might think my life is all working. out and cooking healthy, delicious recipes. But trust me, there is so much more to it, and this is it. This is all of those real moments you talk about with your family and friends. Ever wonder what else life has to offer? Bring your curious appetite and let's do life together.

Subscribe now at Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Podcasts1.com. Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Do you know that I, obviously, you know, if you're Vino, you know that I do confessions on every podcast. So I'm wondering if you've got one ready for me today. I do. So actually I have two. So the first one, I know you do a lot of poop confessions.

Yep. This is pee, but any kind of bathroom toilet humor is right up my alley. Going another path. So I played softball in high school. Actually, I played softball in college. in high school we had an away game it was like 45 minutes away or something like that and I was being really overdramatic about port-a-potty situation so you had to go in the porta-potty to go to the bathroom so I told my teammates I'm like I'm going in there but I'm not looking down I'm not

looking at all I'm just closing my eyes so I go in and you know I've got my pinstripe outfit on or whatever pull my pants down squat down and just start peeing yeah a sudden I'm just feeling all this heat oh no on my feet and eat so the porta potty is actually closed right has a lid and I'm just peeing on to the lid and it's going into my pants so my pants were just full of urine what kind of porta potty has a lid I didn't know they had lids I didn't either seems like a fancy one one had a lid so I had to pull up my pants full of urine button with the little baseball belt back on the bus with like 20 other girls told them what happened i didn't even have anything to change into so i had to sit on the bus for 45 minutes

with pee pants you didn't have anything to change into no one did no for whatever reason i had nothing else so they call you pee pants jessica the whole time something like that oh my gosh that's so terrible i've i've definitely peat my pants before and that's one of the worst feelings is having to sit in it oh it's the worst yeah especially on a bus with a bunch of their girls oh god i hope they were nice like senior year oh that's awful i'm like i always try and rack my brain of like i always hope a guest when they um podcast with me that they will trigger one of my um um um confessions because i'm having to confess every week but i think i've told all of my peepant stories i'm pretty sure i have uh yeah if i think of something i'll let you know

but i've i've more games for us to play okay okay this is um to pod or not to pod that is the question okay so would you want to date the following celebs if you were able able to meet them via a pod and they were single okay peter Weber this is a yes or no yeah would you pod or would you not pod with him is there a commitment in it um I would pod yeah yes there is a commitment there's a commitment well I don't know is that how that's how the pods work right yeah it's kind of true but but I mean I had friends in there too I would pot him as a friend. Okay.

Okay, that's good. Okay, you'd pot him as a friend. Yeah, because I have, I have connections to Kelly, and that would feel, that would feel kind of weird. I'm friends with her brother. Oh, wow. Okay, tight connections then. No.

Okay, fair. Oh, yeah, Chicago, right? Yep. Yeah. Dax Shepherd. Oh, he's so fun. Yes, we'll pod. I'd pod.

I'd pod him so hard. Rob Kardashian. Um, no, samesies. All right, quick second. If you guys remember, I talked about this awesome brand last week, Caldrea. Caldrea is a consciously crafted home and body care brand that combines thoughtful ingredients with amazing sense, making caring for ourselves and our homes a beautiful experience. So before on the pot, I talked about their hand soaps and lotions, but in addition to those, Caldrea also has home cleaning products that effectively clean while transforming your home. with your favorite fragrances.

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Wouldn't he be so fascinating? It'd be great. And you can actually sing in the pods. They didn't get any of the singing. but Barnett played the ukulele, Mark played the guitar. What? So, yeah, you got to bring the entertainment in there, because otherwise it gets really boring, really fast.

Wait, I have a question while we're on that. How, maybe you already answered this? Like, how long with one person would you spend by the end of it, like before proposal came? An hour and a half? Yes. Oh, yeah, because total is five. Okay.

Oh, they would bring in one day they brought in an easel, with paint and um you could you could gift people so of course mark gifted me wine amazing i got to send you some spade and sparrows oh yes i need to try that it's coming back out very soon so we'll get you some um okay set rogan set rogan yes he's hilarious so funny with him he brings the entertainment yeah he would be his laugh alone just makes me so happy um Justin Bieber yes jbby oh I love the bebes he's the best we go the same church I keep trying to run into him no you don't you go the same church as bebs yes oh I would Jason's walking in at the wrong time hi you're getting some line oh do you want to say hi to jessica we're just saying

about the the bebes um i'm saying would you pod or would you not pod i jessica how are i i jason how you nice to meet you um nice to meet you we were trying to decide if if we would pod or not pod with different celebrities and i said oh the bebes and she goes the same church as the bebes oh really yeah wait what do you need a pod like sit in the pods oh he didn't watch jason didn't watch pod funny pod pod pod it's p o d not p a d I say I say pod. Pod. That's because Buffalo.

Wait, you're Chicago. How do you say pod? Pod. Ah, that's funny. That's great. So my first off the vine was you, Jason, and Olivia. And it's like the classic. Oh, my.

I went back and listened to it like three times because I'm like, oh, you can totally sense the chemistry. Really? We're just talking about it today. And all my friends went back and like listened to it so many times because it's like just, everything is shifting for you is like such a moment so classic that's so funny it really is a classic moment in time of of the shift you're right it's funny because this morning we were just talking yeah we were on this like digital series and we're they were asking us about it we like got into the weeds about we haven't talked about that in a while yeah and we're going to get in

the weeds about it tomorrow because we film for the other digital series oh okay yeah there we go that's great all right I'll let you guys talk about pod who you want to pot up with yeah bebes bebes if you pot up though

are you in the pod with the person the whole time no but you can't see them yeah you can't see them so you're in different parts they have to be entertaining yeah they have to be entertaining yeah they have to be entertaining

and like good conversation because you can't see them so you have to just bank on like the connection so it has to be a lot more than just looks that's why it's a cool concept and did you I deeply apologize

I know that Love is Blind is blowing. It's the number one reality TV show out there. I know how you guys are destroying it. I know it's amazing, but I did not watch it. And I don't know the full concept. So I apologize in advance. It's ignorant of me. However, did you end up, like, are you with someone?

So actually, yes, I am right now. Oh, wait, what breaking news? Wait, did I just uncover something without knowing my ass from my head with this whole thing. But wait, not from the show. Jason, I thought I was getting through this without having to answer this question. I have no idea what I just asked. I didn't even ask him to come in here and do that. No, I swear to God, I swear to God. Wait, are you with someone from the show? No, I'm not, but I'm with someone who watched the show and somehow like saw through to the real me. So it was such a good ending, you know. Well, you know what? That makes me very happy because

they should love you for that. How often, Jason, do you see me at times where you're like, if that was on TV, I don't know. But it's all, like you had, and I don't want to bash the show because I'm not bashing the show, but I'm sure there are so many beautiful moments we didn't see that, you know, I fell in love with you and just from watching your edit on Netflix. I did. Yeah. And on the show, did you end up with someone?

um no so even he got engaged huh i'm even forgetting like i watched and i'm even forgetting what happened yeah they got engaged right there's like so much to unpack it's like so when you get engaged and then you have to get married you have to go to the altar and have a wedding and then you say yes or no at the ends and we actually had decided that we weren't ready for marriage but on that day he said yes i do so then i had to be like oh wait no yeah so then she said and that's at the altar gotcha so he said yes she said no wow yeah yeah oh my gosh you need to watch i'm gonna go i'm gonna go back watch so it's funny though my worlds are colliding i was on yahoo finance today and they were breaking down reality tv and the future of it and they were talking all about love is blind in the conundrum

that like series and in companies like the bachelor are going to have to face because the viewership with love is blind is greater, the accessibility with Netflix is greater. So we're talking about the business models of it. And now I got to go back and actually watch the show because it's blowing up and taken off. Yeah, that's interesting. It's actually hit 30 million households.

And I think The Bachelor is like 10. 10 max. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah, that's fascinating. It's going to be a conundrum. So the Bachelor's for sure going to get on Netflix. Yes, please ask.

One question that I'll be out of the way. Um, so, oh, okay, so you're done with the show. Now, do you have the ability to go on like different shows and podcasts and stuff like that or like does it require network approval and stuff? Um, I, I think I probably could. I've just chosen not to. This is the only time I've really talked to anyone about love is blind. So, um, I'm just being really choosy. No, no. As you should be. And I think it's cool that she's doing that because how many people, you know, want to ride that wave. I did. I did. And she just chose her health and happiness as a priority. And I think that's awesome. Yeah.

There is like the one couple I know about. And I've seen them do a couple, like the one well-known couple. Cameron. Yeah. And the very little I've seen is like they seem very just authentic. genuine and like not like strictly maybe i'm crazy for saying this but like not being on a reality tv show for anything but just maybe to see if like the love thing would work out yeah well i think a lot of people go on hoping that would work out but you know here's the thing you you you think

you have you think you have a connection you go on you obviously hope and that would be the end goal to find somebody and and like what a bonus that you have this experience and and love at the end. But I mean, how realistic is it that you actually find someone by not even touching them, seeing them, feeling their energy just by conversation? Like, that's got to be crazy rare. It's a cool concept because it's so different and you really get to know someone differently. But at the same time, there has to be physical chemistry there too. Oh, for sure. So if there's not like, there has to be. And think about how much that's probably happening in our world right now where people are connecting over social media apps and they're just

chatting or well they're able to probably FaceTime or whatever but even when you get in the same room with someone like for me when I got to Mexico and even though I felt so in love with Mark we got to Mexico and he big spooned me from behind and it was like instant I knew I'm like I got in way over my head you know this is not a good situation so it's there is chemistry is huge and and you know what why is that i always get into like the trolls but like why is that bad that you discovered that like wouldn't people want you to discover that and and go from there and like and and you gave it so many honest tries and okay i want to do this because he seemed so great but at the end of the day if you're not if you know deep down this is not your husband forever

like what's wrong with that yeah i mean if you look at like this is kind of a little bit like sensitive, but, I mean, it's the reality of the truth. There's a lot of things that separate a relationship versus friendship, a lot of things, right? But, you know, loyalty, trust, commitment, the list goes on. But the main competency, right? The main competency that is different between a friend I have versus Caitlin and I, and obviously there's a lot of those. But the, the big one on paper is physical, right? Like physical attraction and chemistry and things like that. And if that doesn't exist in a relationship, then I think it's difficult. to have a relationship.

Yeah, and God bless you for trying. Yeah. And on that note, I did not expect to come in here, be on this podcast, ask any questions, or get involved. Well, you asked a good one. You asked a good one. Yeah, so nice to meet you too. Good luck with everything and the new relationship and whoever it may be. I wish you all the best with it.

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Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's super new and we're just taking it day by day. But the quarantine has kind of kept us together. He was supposed to be traveling. I was supposed to, you know, have a bachelor party last weekend. But we've been able to kind of quarantine together. And it's like when you first start dating someone, too, it's, you know, you're out and about. They're out and about. And it's, you know, you're not normally investing a lot of time up front. So I think the quarantine has kind of kept us together, which has been nice. And that must be a little bit of like comfort to you. Like, you must really thrive in a conversation now when getting to know somebody. I'm assuming, like, maybe you see each other in person, but you do a lot of face times. Yeah. Yeah. One thing I learned from the pods is it's okay to ask the big questions. Totally. I think as women, we sometimes want to fly under the radar and be the cool girl for a really long time.

It's like, oh, yeah, I'm cool with whatever. But, you know, you know what your deal breakers are. And it's kind of nice just to feel comfortable enough to have those conversations. I think it's the most important thing in a relationship, a new relationship is to talk about negotiables and non-negotiables, what you will and won't put up with and boundaries and all of those things. And yeah, okay, when we were in our 20s, that might be like scaring boys off who aren't ready.

But we're in our 30s and we're ready for that kind of commitment. And if somebody's afraid of those conversations, that person is not for you. anyways. Exactly. Yeah. I'm a big fan of the negotiables and non-negotiables. Okay.

I have a few questions from listeners. Okay. Deanna, I can never pronounce names. Buzzolitz. Buzzolitz. She said, how did you really feel when you saw Mark for the first time? I think I felt overwhelmed. You're talking to this person and you have some idea in your mind about what they look like.

And I kept getting Mark Consuelos, Kelly Rippa's husband. Yeah. I honestly wasn't like, oh, this guy isn't good looking at all. I was, I thought he was a good looking guy. I was so excited to see him. Think about after 10 days of quarantine or however long this thing is going to be. Like, think about, you know, we were in there for 10 days. It felt like 40 days, which is as long as Californians have been in quarantine.

I was so excited to see him. I thought, you know, he was the best looking person I'd ever seen. You know, I didn't think like he's not attractive. Like I say, it wasn't until I got to Mexico and I just didn't feel that chemical attraction that I knew. Yeah, of course. Okay, this is Christine. She wants to know, did it change your opinion on ages in relationships? So here's the thing.

My ex is 42 years old. Okay. She should be the dad of this guy got engaged to. So it was a whole different world. with Mark than it was from my previous relationship. So I'm going to stand by the fact that it felt totally different to me. He was on his parents' insurance. I forgot that was even a thing that you can do in life.

And it just wasn't, it didn't feel comfortable to me. I didn't feel like he was in the same place that I was in life in a lot of ways. I had gone through a ton of failure and I've, you know, just lived a lot of life. He was getting into his first job and trying to figure out what his career was. and that's going to be, you know, a big chunk of life. And I'm kind of in the middle and, you know, hoping to see the end of that. And it just, yeah, I don't think it really has changed my perspective. And that's okay.

That's okay. I, for one, would have felt the same way. I'm sure there are a lot of, you know, guys who have it together. But you just have so much to figure out as a human being in your 20. And I think for us, and maybe this is, maybe I'm wrong, but this is how I feel and maybe you can agree that we figured out and grew so much through our 20s and changed so much and lived so many different lives that you're like, you have so much to go through before, you know, it's, it is really, um, 20s are just so ever changing and, and you, you grow so much as a person. Absolutely. And I mean, even going back to, you know, how have you handled this? Like, I know how to re-center.

And that's something that I think you learn in your 20s is, you know, ups and downs and being able to re-center in yourself and not in another person is really important. If I did this show and had this type of experience when I was 25, 26, I don't know that I would have gotten through it. Yeah, I say that all the time. It's a difference. And, you know, I think that's okay. You know, there's a lot of great things about being in your 20s. Trust me. I mean, I would go back in a heartbeat. But, you know, for me, it wasn't somebody that I felt like I was ready to commit to. Yes. I totally understand that. Is there anything we miss that you wanted to talk about? I don't think so. I think for me, just because I haven't talked about the show at all, I think the thing that gets missed, and you kind of mentioned this a little bit is just like the thing that got me through every day.

day was just knowing that I was being totally honest with the way that I was feeling. And I know a lot of what was shown was when I was being brutally honest. But every day I showed up and, you know, had to go through this experience. And I was trying to be as graceful as I could. And I was trying to, you know, apologize as much as I could. But, you know, I was really trying to live in my truth. And I didn't want to sign someone else up for something too that was going to be heartbreaking. So I think, you know, since this is the first time I'm really getting to kind of speak about my experience, I just feel like it's important to put that out there that, you know, I felt like I was true to myself. And at the end of the day, I can sleep well because, you know, I know that was my experience and my true. That is the most important thing that you could ever do going through a process like that is stay true to yourself.

Who wouldn't make – I made mistakes along the way the whole time. Some were erred, some weren't. As long as you are true to who you are. And I mean, that would have been the only way that if that person was for you, it would have worked out. Because if somebody is sitting there thinking they know who you are and then they get into the real world and that's not who you are, that's shame on everybody there. It's if you're being true to yourself and you have moments of doubt and you express them and then you try and get through them and then you do things. Like that is your journey and that is who you are. And that's where somebody will love you.

They'll love you for that, you know. And you need to find somebody that you love for those reasons, too. And I hope this is the one for you, but who knows? Yet to be seen. Yeah. And I mean, that must be such a wild concept now. You go overnight, you know, everybody knows who you are on a Netflix show to now introduce someone else into the world. that's something that you guys are going to kind of keep private for a while or are you just excited

to share or how are you feeling in that situation? Yeah, I mean, of course, I'm excited to share it, you know, because I'm like bursting over it. But yeah, we're definitely keeping it private for right now. And it's the timing couldn't have been more perfect. We're not out and about together. So no one's seen us together. And we're kind of living in this insulated bubble and we really like it there. So probably keep it pretty private for a while. Have you dealt with Popper? No. What? So L.A. shut down. I mean, a couple weeks after the show came out. So, I mean, people were seeing me out and it's really weird. So people will ask, you know, to take a photo with you or whatever. A couple times people just took a photo of me and that felt really strange.

But it's wild. Um, we'll pop razzi though. Interesting. Is that going to be a thing? Well, I thought they would be all over that for that show but i guess that makes sense that it was like the city kind of shut down after and i feel like that's probably a weird thing for paparazzi with the um like whole six feet social distancing thing like they probably are too scared that they're going to get caught or i don't know i don't know but that's yeah i thought they would be all over it though like stalking you at your house not not yet maybe it'll all blow over by the time quarantine's over and it's never have to deal with it. Maybe. That's so crazy. Will you watch the next season? I don't know. Maybe not. You didn't watch the season after yours, did you? I didn't watch for a couple seasons. No, it actually probably took

me until Becca Koufrens to see Jason on there. That was probably the first season. I really, really watched. Yeah, I wanted, like I tried to, pardon? Timing is everything. Timing is everything. I really tried to watch Jojo season because I wanted to be super supportive of super supportive of The Bachelorette after me, but it did trigger some feelings and I was obviously in a relationship that that show triggered feelings in the relationship and it was just better for us to not watch. But yeah. Yeah, I think I'll probably, I'll probably do the same.

Take a page from your book on that. Yeah. And you know what? Everything will make sense. And I'm sure it already kind of is starting to make sense. And you have a lot of love and support in your corner too. Thanks so much. Of course.

I appreciate you. And thank you for coming on and tell everybody. I mean, do you want them to find you? Do you want them to come to your Instagram? Yes. If you're inclined, come on out to my Instagram page. I think what is the name of my Instagram now? Because I don't run it and they change my name.

I think it's underscore Jessica Batten. Also something like when I watch the show, I tried to DM you and it said that I couldn't send you a message. Are you kidding? Yeah, I tried like three different times and it said I couldn't send you a message. I actually took a screenshot like a long time ago that of what it said. I've never seen that before when trying to DM somebody, but it said like, yeah, I don't know why, but I'll try it again. I know we did a bunch of locking down.

Did you get my Facebook ever? No. Oh my gosh. I was like at the lowest moment in Chicago. in a hotel bathroom and I was like sitting on the floor and I couldn't think of anyone else to write and I wrote you this message on it was literally on Facebook messenger I'm like she's never going to get this but it was like you were the only person in the whole world that I knew that could resonate with me and like I listened to you for so long and like that was literally the only way I

could kind of get through what I was dealing with is remembering that you went through it I would have called you in two seconds if I knew you probably never got that message but it felt good just to write it, you know. Well, I'm glad you wrote it and got those feelings out. And oh my gosh, I would have called you in a heartbeat if I would have seen that. Anytime you need anything, you just, you just call me. You're the best. Well, good luck with everything. And we'll exchange numbers and chat. And I mean, I'm so glad you can work from home. You can focus on what you love, that you have someone that makes you excited and that you have your pups. Oh, so great. I've been so happy to see, you know, your story to Caitlin and, like, how everything's come together for you.

It makes me so happy. Thank you. And I think so many women can just resonate with things you've gone through. So thank you for your community. It's been such a special place for me over the years. And I'm coming back in there. I'm going to get the courage up and take that first step. Absolutely.

You do that. And we're all here for you. And we will see you when you get there. Thanks, girlfriend. Thank you. I'm Caitlin Bristow. see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Offlevine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

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