Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Joey Graziadei & Kelsey Anderson | From Roses to Real Life: Post-Bachelor Journey!

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

#753. This week on Off the Vine, Kaitlyn Bristowe catches up with Bachelor stars Joey Graziadei and Kelsey Anderson. Joey and Kelsey open up about life after the final rose, sharing insights into their relationship dynamics, favorite moments, and how they navigate challenges together. They talk about their families meeting and getting along, Kelsey’s childhood in Germany, and the therapy lessons that have strengthened their bond. Plus, they reveal the story behind their first kiss, which never made it to air!! Tune in to hear about their plans for the future, hilarious behind-the-scenes stories, and the unexpected joys and hurdles they've faced! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (21:17) - The couple talks about their communication styles and what they've learned in therapy. (32:39) - Kelsey talks about her childhood in Germany and fostering kids. (41:18) - The story of Joey and Kelsey's first kiss that wasn't shown on camera. Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app. BETTER HELP: Visit See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. I am very uncomfortable in this dress. I am usually in sweats, but we came here from CMA Fest to interview Joey and Kelsey, your last Bachelor and his, I don't know, winner. I hate when people say that, but I just did. And got to know them a little bit better, a little more deeper and who they really are and how they function as a couple in the real world after their season of The Bachelor. Welcome to the podcast to both of you. Joey, I've talked to you before, but to have you both is so exciting. Okay, so you're in Nashville. You've been going. out doing the CMA thing, you're feeling a little rough around the edges, so to speak. I'm hung over. I'll say, I'm hung over today. I feel good. Yeah, Kelsey, you rebound's a lot better than I do. I rarely get hungover. Are you the same? Yeah, I would say it's same. Or if I am, it's like just in the morning, I wake up and then I start moving and I'm fine. Yeah. And Joe, you're just like,

every single time I drink. Yeah. I got liver issues. It's what it is. You got what issues? Yeah, I got, I got Jealbert syndrome, something wrong with my liver. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's, uh, pretty much the way to describe it, your belly room account goes high, like how your liver's a sponge, mine's already like rung out. So like when I drink, it doesn't, it doesn't like, don't like, don't drink. Well, it just says you get bad hangover. Like it doesn't, it's not like bad for his. Oh, I don't think it's like something actually a complication. But yeah. It's just and it's like it doesn't actually like, like it's just that you get dehydrated faster and things like in like my eyes are yellow. Oh, you've had to do a whole explanation about this. People were talking about it. And then

I did find out, like I've looked it up, that it does cause worse hangovers because obviously it's a liver complication. But my whole family has it. Carly has it too. No way. It's worse. It's like, it's from Mediterranean descent. So if we like come from that area, it's just apparently it can be hereditary. So interesting. But I got the worst out of our family for sure. That's too bad because being hungover might be one of the worst feelings on the planet. The thing is, is you still do it. I'm still drinking. I got wine glass right now. And I know, I know. I know I'm gonna hurt tomorrow but it's still worth it in my brain for some reason i'm the same way there are people out there's so many different categories of humans with drinking there's people who are sober

there's people who drink once in a blue moon there's people that have problems out there there's people who just enjoy drinking in a night out and get bad hangar like there's so many different categories of drinkers out there but i'm i'm you both i know it's bad for me i get um a little bit of anxiety the next day but not like i don't feel like should i just feel anxious so i don't really get hungover, but I do it and I go, why am I doing this? It's a social lubricant. Like, at the end of the day, I just think I'm always going to enjoy doing it, but I think it's obviously doses and then you come to a weekend like this and then we're not just like, we don't just like casual. It's like we drink for occasions. Like, it's like it's not like we're drinking every day of the week. It's like

really only like Saturday, Friday, Saturday. Yeah, it's usually only go out and then obviously we've been doing so much right now. So it's been a busy month. I was going to say you're in a point in your lives too where you're like doing the craziest experiences and you have so many opportunities and it's like there's always drinks involved and yeah if you come on off the vine there's wine involved all the time but it's like I'm the same way like I enjoy it I really enjoy it I enjoy the taste I enjoy the experience I enjoy sharing it with people and then the next day up if it goes too far I go what I'm doing right like I love a glass of wine at home with dinner like tonight oh my god you guys can we all say a little prayer for the oilers to win tonight it's

the first game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and I'm like I can't wait to just have a glass of red and make some food and watch hockey outside of my backyard. Like, I love that. Yeah. And I'm going to come to the, I'm going to come to the sweep, but I'm going to have the Oilers game on. Rob always turns on. He was watching the Celtics game, freaking out during the Thursday.

It'll be up. It'll be up in there. That's, I'm feeling good about that. Okay, let's get into it a little bit. I'm genuinely curious. Are you guys sick of talking about it at this point? Or are you still, like, in the excitement of it? Of the, what, the show?

Yeah, like everything that's happened for you guys. from like being together because it gets old I mean I don't think we get sick of it I think that we do it right like it happens a lot yeah talking about it frequently and I think sometimes it's nice to step outside of it but it's been a crazy last couple of months things are exciting so we're enjoying talking about yeah but yeah we've been talking about I like getting asked different questions I feel like the repetitiveness of it is like kind of boring well because that's literally the nature of interviews like everyone asked the same questions yeah okay you've come off the bachelor at you're engaged when's the wedding do you guys talk about the wedding date like do you talk about

this it's i try so hard to also do research when i do podcasts i'll listen to every other podcast you guys have been on and try and not answer but people love these answers yeah yeah yeah and so it's hard but i mean i've been doing this for seven years and i remember the time when i came off and i was like god don't ask me this question one more time is there a question that nobody's asked you guys that you wish people to talk more about it's a good question I know that one I think that what we really enjoy is talking a lot about the normalcy of stuff outside of it like I think the questions that we like and the ones that we hope are like people wanting to know about who we are as people right uncovering a little bit more yeah so I know it's kind of a broad response but I would say that's the ones that we get the most excited about like we really enjoyed Nick Viles podcast we went on because he asked different questions about like who we were as people yeah and we're like that was really nice to be able to uncover that Yeah. Because we know we're going to talk about stuff about the show, but we like being known as Joey and Kelsey both together and separately. Yeah. And being able to like explain who we are a little bit more. And that just comes from, you know, digging a little deeper and asking those questions.

He does a really good job at digging deeper. And sometimes it makes people uncomfortable. But I think that's why he does a good job is because he doesn't always just ask the norm and he has opinions. And I think that's the sign of a good host. I honestly, I was surprised how much I liked it because I know he kind of dogged on Joey like during his season and stuff. That's what he does. But I was ready to go in and be like, like like I want to protect my man and then it was like he was so nice to us and obviously he's not going to be like me do a podcast yeah no no no of course yeah but that's i think i think it's like interesting though coming off of a show that has been around for so many seasons that it really is the same format for like what year did it start 2003 or something and we're 2024 so like over 20 years of the same format which comes with the same questions because it's literally the same

every season. And clearly that works because we're still here. Right. So it's like, you know, it's kind of in the formula. But yeah, it's wild that some of them have kids that are now like almost at the age of being able to be on the show. It freaks me out. And Molly was saying that her son was like kind of asking about it. I don't know if that's probably illegal to say. But he's like 18 or 19. He's in college. Yeah. And he's so tall and he's so charming and sweet. And I love Molly and Jason so much. They're They're special people. And I feel like, yeah, their kids are just so.

Because what do you say in that case? Like, it worked for them. So you have to. But then they also know enough. Like, maybe we don't want to put them on the show. But like that's so funny. She told me about that. I was like, that's actually really interesting that that can happen.

And I think that, I think that ABC would do that. Oh my gosh. I would eat that up. Are you kidding me? They know, I can't wait for the day. He turns the age to make one of the, you know, like the successful couple's kid, the bachelor. That is iconic.

Iconic. Yeah. sure. And just the fact that it's been around for so long, it's so successful. I mean, like, his season did great. So it's like, yes. And well, you also got to have such a good year with the golden bachelor and your bachelor season. I feel like it was two comebacks of like we're actually rooting for the person this time. Like I feel, I don't know, it's not, and I don't want to dog on other bachelors or bachelors. It was just there's something about both of your seasons that it was like we were rooting for your. Yeah. It seemed wholesome.

Yeah. And I felt it. I felt it. I felt it. I did. Are you wholesome? I try to be. He's wholesome. Really? He's wholesome. Yeah. I don't know. I think you are, but I don't know. Obviously, I don't know Joey the way that Kelsey knows Joey, but she says you're wholesome. I think that one of the things I do take a lot of pride in is I do think I have a really good heart. Like it's hard for me not to really care about other people and think like that. So I think that just kind of came out on the season and people really enjoyed that. And I'm glad because the best compliment I got throughout the whole season was really from my. family and friends but they said they were watching it and they're like that was you and they would have people ask the same questions like is he really like that in person and they're like no it's exactly what you see so i didn't really care how other people viewed me other than the people that i know and know me well and the fact that they saw that like that meant the most to me so that is something to really be proud of because i was very polarizing and somewhat hated on my season

but i still was like okay but at least i was who i was and my whole family and friends were like but that is who she is. Yeah. You know, like, I'm, I have a big heart, but I'm very spicy. And I say things that I'm like, oops, Jenna said that. Like, that's just who I am. Yeah. And I think that's the most important thing you can do on that show is just actually be true

to who you are. And that's how you're going to find, like, the foundation for a good relationship. Are you ever nervous to be taken advantage of as Joey the Bachelor for opportunities and certain things because you have such a big heart and you're kind to people? Yeah, I would say so. I think that the type of. of being Joey the Bachelor never really felt right with me. So that part is is interesting. And then you're navigating a space where people are obviously going to try to use that and try to, you know,

make it what it is. So I think for me, with all this right now where we're at, what we're trying to navigate is just trying to still feel like us outside of this. And that's going to come with time. That's going to come with learning and probably making mistakes through it. But I feel pretty confident that we've been doing our best to just kind of be us. And if we do that, then I'm not really worried about anything else that happens outside of it yeah it's i only say that because i don't know if it was being canadian or just like surrounding myself my whole life with people that love me and that i love that i never had been like taken advantage of for who i was it was it was just celebrated for who i was and then coming off of television you know everyone wants a little piece of you

it's interesting it is because i first thought of it like okay like the first thing happens people reach out to you that you haven't heard in so long right you haven't heard oh of course And then your brain goes like, this is kind of messed up. Like I don't really want to be maybe like acting to this. If someone hasn't talked to me and now you are because I was the bachelor or something like that. But I took it as this is a beautiful way to connect with people I haven't connected with in a long time. Oh, damn. It's nice to be able to be like, okay, this is a reason they're reaching out to me.

They care enough to at least try to connect. So there was something that they knew me in the past time that they were trying to reach out. So I've been trying to always flip it to the positive because I think there is something really great about that too. Yeah. Damn, I am not you. I'm like, you reaching out to me now, why now? You could all like block them.

Right. I get it. That's a me issue though. That's a me issue. No, I wouldn't say I don't like feel that. I think everyone does. But I just try to, you know, it brought my family close together. Like that kind of stuff you don't expect.

It's so beautiful. And I love that it was a purpose of it. And at least it was advice to get them to all kind of connect again. You have to look at the positives. And that was a big part for me too. I remember seeing my, I mean, my stepdad and my dad and my mom and my stepmom. Like, they've all pretty much got along, but seeing them all together and come together. And like, it's such a big moment for your kids to find, like, love like that on TV and, like, not know how to navigate it.

So you kind of all join hands and do it together. I had no bad dynamics in our family, but it was amazing how it brought them closer. Yeah. Like, that's the beauty. It really does. And that stuff, that's how I think about it too with friends and everything. And now we have our families that get to connect because of it. now too, and that's great. Well, talking to you both yesterday on stage for CMA Fest, you talked a

lot, Kelsey, about family and how, like, being close to family in different places. And that's what, like, really keeps you guys, I think, grounded and humble as well. And you guys talk about being, you know, we want to just stay true to us and who we are. So what do you think your relationship dynamic is that people wouldn't maybe assume? Like, what is it that makes you guys you? Like, not the Kelsey and Joey that people are like, oh, the bachelor and the girls you pick, he picked. Like, what is it that makes you guys a couple? I feel like our dynamic is, like, I'm very high energy and I'm all over the place and very goofy. And he is goofy too, but he kind of like grounds me because he's like more calm, cool, and collected. And I can

like count on him a lot. But I feel like he can also count on me to like bring him up and stuff in like lower places. Yeah. It's a fun balance. I think the balance is necessary. I think people have gotten a chance to see it a lot but the biggest thing for us is i am definitely very chill i think that's the dynamic that people probably don't see because i couldn't be that guy in the role that i was in like i was still yourself but i'm saying like i was the most extroverted version of myself and i probably ever met in my life because you're pulling yourself to do that every single you're carrying a very large tv show in your back so and that that was a lot for me and i think i even expressed that to her through this like you're going to see when we get out of it like the dynamic is a little

bit different where I'm going to have those days that I am just very very low energy and chill and she's done such a great job of trying to like work with that because she's the complete opposite and I love that I chose her because of that and I think there's it there is a balance there and I think the way that we're us is that she still should have her crazy goofy side and I should still be able to kind of just kick back and chill sometimes and we've learned how to embrace it it's not always easy and match each other's energy like now I'm I'm good at sitting down for a movie now at the beginning it was really hard we had one of the first times we watch a show or like a TV, anything, we had a happy couple. And I was like, this girl can't sit down and watch a show. Oh, funny. I was like, this is going to be a problem. I love sitting there and

watching the show. You're like, that's my favorite pastime. She's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, poke with me. I'm like, Kelsey, we are going to at some point need to just sit down and watch TV. But it's also like in that moment where it's like, you just got off the show and it's like you get all this time together and you're not on camera and stuff. And I'm like, oh my gosh, we need to learn everything about each other. Yeah. I need to ask you a million questions still. We're engaged, but like, I don't know your favorite color. Like, I don't want To be with someone that's similar to me in that sense. I would hate if someone just wanted to just sit there and watch TV with me the entire day and not even talk.

I love this, but I was like, okay, we need to, there's balance. There's balance. Yeah, of course. I mean, I feel like a lot of times in relationships you always hear ying and yang, the opposites attract. Like, that's a thing. People don't just make that up. That's actually just how people connect. I feel like it's interesting to date somebody that is different from you.

Yeah. And that's what intrigues you about them. Definitely. Your happy couple weekends. So for those of you who don't know, but most people do. If you're a bachelor fan, you get these happy. So nobody knows you're engaged. You've got to hide it.

Keep it a secret for so long. And you get these little, was it every two weeks or three weeks? Yeah. Where you get to spend the weekend together locked up in a house and they just put your favorite drinks and food and everything into this one house. And it's usually a great house with a pool and you just connect and hang for these little hideout weekends. What were those like for you? Because I've heard from personal experience, they were.

heaven and hell for me because a lot of times a lot of shit comes up from the show or what you've done or certain things and you're like the episodes are airing while you're together and you're like what the hell you said that to this person and this and then other times you're like so in love and it's a very up and down journey that I just said it but what was your happy couple like what did those weekends look like for you yeah I think that it was like I was like going through a lot I feel like with being like oh my gosh you know he just dated all these other girls you know it like catches up with you a little bit, especially watching it back. If you're a human being, it catches up with you. Yeah. And you're like watching it. You're like, yeah, I'm very

confident in my relationship and I'm confident in who I am. But this sucks watching. It's the worst. I would put headphones in and like, fast forward through other people's parts. And I would just really watch mine because I was like, I don't need to see this crap. Good for you. You know, I'm like, that was then. This is now. But it was a lot of like navigating through that and those emotions. And he was like very patient and very understanding through it all and gave me a lot of grace. But also I had to learn like to give him a lot of grace as well. Because that position like it's, I I mean, it's a lose that you, yeah, you literally don't have a chance. Yeah, it's a hard position to be in.

And it's obviously a really tough way to start a relationship, which we know that's why sometimes it doesn't work out. Yeah. I think we found out pretty early, like, we are going to have to fight for this to work because there's so many difficult conversations that you need to have. And you know, too, coming off that role of being the lead, like, I was drained. So emotional availability was not there right away. No, no, no.

It's like an old time. So that was more our up and down was we were always having so many. good moments so in love the fun exciting part of the relationship but then i would be emotionally unavailable for some of the conversations we need to have and we just had a little bit of back and forth but i would say those weekends were some of the most pivotal weekends for us in our relationship too it really did set up everything that we've kind of built to this point yeah and i think but it's like the thing about like all those fights or not fights but like we're they're fights it was like it was like it was like it was never that we weren't choosing

each other it's like i'm choosing you know we're going to fight through this and figure it out like this kind of sucks but like it's working it does suck though I think that's I think it's I love when people are honest about it because it doesn't matter how strong your relationship is coming out of that I literally beat a dead horse all the time on this podcast with talking about the foundation of relationships in general but especially coming off the show and your foundation really does have to start after the show because that is an impossible foundation to live off of and thrive in a relationship when you were dating other girls and carrying a television show and it's really hard for contestants and especially the one that is chosen because you've

never been in that position. So you cannot relate to it, but you can relate to the position she's been in. And it creates this weird dynamic where you're like, I'm so tired. I can relate to where you're coming from, but I can't give you like what you need right now because like just cuddle me. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes I was like, sometimes I was tell, because he's a, he loves to talk through things. And sometimes I'm like, we don't have to talk through this. I just want you to like, yeah. Yeah. We don't need to talk through this. Yeah. I just, I just need some love. Oh, that's so. How old are you? 26. That's crazy. I'm just figuring that out at 38. I'm like, oh, we actually, I actually just need you to show me love. Yeah. That's all I need. And I don't need you to fix it. And I don't need you to talk through it. Just like, give me a hug. And we can move on. Exactly. Okay, so what is your communication style in your relationship? Like, you know, there's, there's all the things of the love languages, there's the enneagrams, there's all the things that you can now, that all these tools that we have in relationships.

Like, what is your style of communication? I mean, I don't know the specifics of the endograms. I mean, we know our love languages and everything. She definitely, I think she likes all of them. So that's pretty much what we get at. Want them all. There's not one that I know she doesn't enjoy. But I think the main one would maybe be like acts of service.

Yeah, yeah, like that I like to receive. And mine's definitely quality time is probably the biggest one. But then I've also learned like the way that you also give is not the same that you want to receive. That's a big part of thing in the beginning stages. But I mean the easiest way to explain it is I definitely like talking more, while she needs more time to kind of read things and process and then want to kind of circle back and talk about it later. Sometimes she doesn't even need to just talk about it. She just likes to have that break and doesn't want to say anything.

So it's it's kind of understanding how it works for each of us. Because sometimes she has to give and then talk things with me a little bit more. We learned in therapy, one of the biggest things is whoever is having the problem, you have to then work with their communication. So if I'm struggling with something, you have to make sure that she's going to be communicating with me because I'm the one that's struggling with something. And if something was bothering her, I'm going to need to make sure I give more time and let her kind of process.

and I'm understanding her communication style before I do that. So that was a big thing that we've been kind of focusing on that's been helpful. I think that's actually a real takeaway that people in any kind of relationships, friendships, friendships, business, relationships, partnerships can take away is thinking that way. Yeah. That's really, I'm taking that away. It's great. And it's made a huge difference because we realize that if it's, if it's, she's the one that's

having the problem with something, if I'm not reading her communication style and doing it, that problem's just going to keep building. I wasn't even upset at the time. Right. So it makes a lot of sense, but your brain automatically goes to just the communication style that you would do. Totally.

Yeah. Because we've all been conditioned and learned a certain way all growing up. And I find that hard about dating now in like late 30s to go out dating. I'm like, I have so much baggage that comes along with me, but I'm also the best version of myself.

So it's so confusing. And I feel like you guys are at a good place in your life where you're like, I was talking about this with Jen. It's just so interesting to see people in their 20s. And I said this to you, I think, Joey, with your women on your season. I was like, it's mind-blowing to me how well in tune you all have been with your emotions and what you need in relationships and how you speak to yourselves and about each other. Like, I was really

mind-blown. And it was the first season that I wasn't a little bit judgmental of the women. Like I was like, oh, here we go. More 25-year-olds. And then I was like, oh, I'm sorry. What? What? Like, I feel like your season had a lot of really intelligent women who, like, were very in tune with who they were. And obviously, that's how this can work too. And that comes with obviously ups and downs and all around. But I just find it so fascinating how I just was not that person at 26 that that you guys are really. I think a lot of the girls had went through really big like life moments. You know, like Daisy with her hearing loss and like losing a parent, things like that. I think that that also kind of has to make you like. grow up a little bit whenever you're younger like I lost my mom at 20 and like that was huge for me you know like we're cannot imagine yeah and like just navigating through that I feel like helped me mature a lot with my emotions and seeing how my siblings and I all grieved and it was all so different but it doesn't make sense to you because you're like oh we all it was the same parent and everything right we interpreted everything so differently and like I don't know had such different grieving

styles that it's like I think now whenever I hear like somebody else who lost a parent like I never say like I can relate to them but it's like I'm here for you like I'm here for you like I I've been to something similar, but I can't say that, like, you know, it's the same thing in any sense because everybody processes things so differently. And I think that's something that I really learned about. Yeah. About that is actually a really great point. First of all, I'm sorry that you had to experience that and go through that.

But it really hard things, and Dotten was saying this yesterday, like the hard things that he had to go through as a child, it shapes who you are and it keeps, it, it just teaches you what is important in life. Exactly. Yeah. And I think to notice different grieving styles. because I think in life you don't only grieve death. You grieve people, relationships, who you thought a person was.

And there's so many different ways. And I think that teaches you to have a lot of empathy for other people. And do you think that gave you a lot of empathy for Joey in like his position as just like to try and navigate anything tough? Yeah, I think that at the beginning, I was like more like whenever I saw something I didn't like at first I was like upset about it. Like I was like almost mad at him. But then I realized like I don't understand like that role. I don't like I never will and it's hard to navigate and I think that I like learned through it all to like give him a lot of grace too because he kind of talked to me about how hard it was for him

you know and I think at first I was like you know I learned to like grace yeah I'm like I dare anyone to go on that show and because you think you go on it you surely I'm not going to fall in love and find the love of my life that would be crazy like and then you do and then you go okay well, it's perfect. And then you have to watch it back and relive. And then you have to like understand that this person's also doing a television show. So I remember it was so clear to me who I was picking. And yet here I am coming out of fantasy suites. And like, and the person I picked was like, how could you do that? Right. Well, knowing it was me. And I'm like, well, I couldn't just quit the show. I'm contractually obligated. Yeah. To still go through. Plus, you want to give the

people that opportunity to shine. And like for Daisy, for example, or even for me with Nick and Ben, it was like, I wanted to just be like, can I just send them home and the season early and do this? And they're like, well, no, you can't. And you want to give them the opportunity to show their side of how they're feeling what they've gone through their process of falling in love and getting their heartbroken because who knows if they're going to be the bachelorette or who knows what their next thing is, but give them the opportunity. One, because you're the bachelor, the that's right you have to and two because it's it's for them as well yeah and that's a really hard thing for anyone yeah to go oh yeah okay yeah like you're in love right you don't want to see anyone

dating anyone else no and and your brain always does that through the whole process you're trying to figure out how am i going to manage or maintain this whole thing when i feel like i know who it is but at the end of the day i think we always just tried to do the best that we could yeah i wanted everyone to feel like they were there for a reason and give them that opportunity to kind of understand their own feelings because when you're on that side too it's almost like a form of therapy through this whole thing because you open yourself up in different ways and I don't think anyone really has any regrets of how it works out as long as you're yourself and as long as you're just trying to stay open through the whole thing so yeah navigating it is weird it is not a normal thing and no one should ever say that it is it's not no

and it's it's I always have so much grace for um the person who's never been in that position I because I go, oh man, I just couldn't even imagine. I don't know if I could do it, to be honest with you. I don't know. I think that, I mean, I feel like you understand because from after the show, it's like the show you learn all the big things about these people and you learn, you know, a lot about them. But at the same time, it's like we built so much post like our engagement that it's like

our relationship like then to now, like it doesn't compare. And like I know that like the relationships he had with those girls, like it does not compare at all. It's like what we have now. There's no way. It's funny. Sometimes people are like, how can you, like, be friends with them and hang out with them? I'm like, you will not forget it unless you are on the show, how you can still be friends with these people. It just, it's like, I'm also just very secure in our relationship.

And I know that he wants me. Yeah. He wants to be with me because he showed me that and proved that to me over, you know, all this time. Which is so, again, me at 26, I would have been like, well, I guess I go. But I always think that too, because so on my season, not mine, sorry, the bachelor season that I was on. Whitney was the girl who he chose. The runner up was Becca Tilly. The third was me.

And those were, those three girls were like, we were the closest out of all the girls. Because you spend the most out with them. Yeah, yeah. And you just have this common ground where you're like, this is weird. But like, so is, you know, like the whole situation's weird. So where are we drawing the line on what's weird? I know. You know, it's a whole thing.

And you say like, you know, you do these big moments on the show. So now you learn the little things. What are your favorite things about each other that are the little things? For me, I, I love how goofy she is. And it's like, and it's, I don't think people understand the depth of that because this one is,

she has moments where she just is the most odd person you can ever imagine. I love that. I love that. She just gets in these little like moods sometimes. She just acts like a little kid or something. And I, I just think it is so unique and so adorable. And I knew when I was choosing Kelsey from the beginning,

I was like, there's not going to be one boring day. Yeah. Like, and that's, there's fun with that. So I think the little things really for me have been, I had an idea of what she was going to be like, but then to actually see it from day to day,

like, it's, it is just, it's a different level. I love it. I love that. Yeah, I don't know. I think I didn't realize how, I keep saying this one, but I didn't realize how into sports he was. And we, but we, so he's a Packers fan and I'm a Vikings fan and they're like rivals pretty much. Fun and so I know. And so he's like adamant about getting me in Packers gear and I'm adamant about never putting it on.

But I'm like, my dad would kill me. It's going to happen. I don't know. I think that dynamic is really funny. You need to make a bet. I know. If my team wins, you have to do this. I mean, I told her she doesn't have to be in any of the gear, but there's zero chance my kids will ever wear anything but Packers gear.

Oh, I don't believe. Yeah, that's not. I'm birthing that. No shot. Or whatever. No shot. Come on. That's all I'm holding with you.

There will not be any Vikings onesies. They will be burned at the right away. Like, they won't be there. But they have to have Packers? Like, no. whoever their favorite parent is that's what jersey they wear we'll do that that's you just I know I'm gonna be the favorite when they get into like a crawling phase you just put two jerseys in whichever one they crawl to that would be pretty funny because you got to trust the kids into their drafting

they're drafting themselves you're gonna find a loophole for this child to find their way that's cute I mean again this is probably one of those annoying questions but obviously you guys talk about having kids or a family yeah I mean I feel like that's in that's if I'm dating someone right now in my life it's like the first thing that comes out of my mom like what is the plan for kids so do you is that fun to talk about it's funny actually on the show uh they didn't show it but uh we had talked about kids because I told them like that I always felt that I wanted to adopt and I need to adopt at least one kid I also don't mind like birthing a kid as well but I'm like I have to at least adopt one kid oh I love that I've always felt that and that was like a non-negotiable for me I'm like if you don't feel like

you can do that that's fine but like I have to do that on like one of the first dates we had And flat out said, if that's not something you would want to do, then you don't have to go any further kind of thing. Like, it was very strong. I thought it was really cool. Had you ever thought about that? No, I think that I love the idea of it. I think that she was in a different spot that they fostered kids growing up. Her mom did.

So she's been around it and saw the amazingness of it. And it just makes sense with her heart that that's something that she's always wanted to do. Yeah. But no, I know that I want to have a kid. And I think that it would be great to do it in both ways. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Wait.

So you grew up, I mean, very. I read that you grew up in, like, Germany. Yeah, yeah, my parents were in the military. And my mom, yeah, and my mom, we, like, fostered some kids while we were in Germany as well. Yeah. And it's like, also, I learned a lot in a psychology class about, like, at-risk youth and, like, the foster care system and how, like, overrun it is and stuff. And I'm like, I feel like I have so much love to give, like, why I can give it to, you know, someone like, I don't know. Okay, that's like, how do you say no to that, right?

I was like, I'd be the worst person ever. I was like, no, I don't want to foster a kid. No, I'm like, now I want to. I know. Do you guys, are you ever interested in a thruple? Right? That's crazy, wow. That's so interesting because, I mean, we all know that how you grow up shapes who you are as an adult.

So that that's, so you grew up, what part of Germany? Grafenbeer. It's like East Germany. People get very annoyed at me. I have no idea where Grafenbeer is. She was like, looking at, I don't know where that is. No, I was like trying to think of all. I'm pretty sure it's like east like kind of.

I got Munich and Berlin. That's all I got in my brain. Well, I lived in Nernberg. almost seven months and so I knew some but I'd never heard of we would visit we visit there it was also cool just being able to like go to Italy for a weekend you know what I mean so when did you how long did you grow up there I was probably like 11 or 12 whenever I left yeah so I was Reckenzie Deutsch not a lot it's not good my dad's bilingual though my dad's fluent in German wow and my eldest brother is German he's my

half brother and his mom's German so he was in the Bundesphere and like he lived there his whole life and has a thick German accent so you guys could go to Germany We got to, yeah. You have to go to the Christmas markets. Oh my gosh, yeah, I know. Or like October Fest or something. Yeah, we got to. I've been to Munich and I would go back again. Yeah, we definitely have to go with my brother, I feel like. Or my dad, one of them. So, and your family's like completely gel and yeah. Yeah, it was cool. The first time we really got a chance to do it was obviously the finale and we all went to the bar together after and it was really cool to see this time. It was so cute. The dynamic that we were hoping for. Yeah. It was like Carly and my and my little brother. They were like best friends. She thinks he's like the funniest guy ever.

That's awesome. But it was cool. Like just seeing them all mesh so well together. Also my oldest brother didn't know that I was engaged. Yeah. What? I didn't tell either of my brothers. She didn't tell any of my brothers because they can't keep a secret.

I'm like, that's crazy. And so Pascal didn't watch the season at all. And so he also didn't know that it was an engagement at the end. And he was like, why is he pulling a rose out of his back pocket? And then he was like, and then afterwards, he's like, Kelsey, no more secrets. You can't do this to me. He's like, now I have to go back and watch it. Oh my.

my gosh wait that's so and what made you go on the show in the first place i so i had got up a relationship a couple months before and i was just like joking with one of my girlfriends about applying and she was like do it and i was like okay i like half-assed like just you know filled it out really fast and then i somehow heard back in a couple weeks and i was like i didn't really think it was real i was like that's wild and then i kept going through the process and i was like you know didn't think that was actually going to happen and then i was like do i actually want to do this yeah you know i was like wait a second well it opens up you know your whole life and world to a lot of, a large audience, yes, if you will.

And I read somewhere about you often think of a world without social media. Yeah. So how has that impacted your, you personally and your relationship is to invite that whole world of social media in? Yeah, I think it's a lot. I mean, there's also like a lot of criticism, but there's a lot of love as well. And so I try to focus on that. I usually just make jokes about like the criticism because I'm just like, we'll laugh about them.

Yeah, I saw a couple, before I followed you and it was like during the season, you would pop up on some of them and you would kind of be very self deprecating. Yeah. Yeah. I just like that's the way I felt like I learned to cope with it. I think that people have their different mechanisms. Some people just like don't look at it. But I mean, I'm reading through comments. I'm going to see it. But yeah, usually just laugh it off. We'll like make jokes about it. But but yeah, I think that the social media, I think that we're navigating it well enough. It's like, you know, trying to learn how to post. Yeah. There's a lot of people that are obviously invested in that part's beautiful. But then on top of it, it's also like, I don't know what you're supposed to do with some of this sometimes. And you click on the And you're like, this isn't even a person. Like, why are they doing that? Grab a coffee and discover nonstop action with BudMGM Casino. Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of one with Multi-Drop. Once even more options.

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Yeah, the social media aspect of it for me is always so fascinating, especially as it grows. Like when I was on The Bachelor, it was just starting to become a thing. Yeah. And now I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so much noise and it has such an impact on people and situations. But what is your relationship with social media? For originally, I was very anti, because I, like when I was living in Hawaii, I think I would definitely take a lot of pictures and try to like post a lot because I was doing a lot of fun things and it felt natural.

But then I would get in those moments I didn't like being on my phone. Like I didn't like trying to pull it out. So I think that's been the biggest thing for me is I know people are invested. I know I need to now share a lot more and I want to because I think there's a lot of fun things that we're doing. And there's a lot of parts of it that there's, it does so many great things. But naturally it's tough for me. I don't think it's something I'm naturally very good at and I'm learning how to kind of balance it the best. way that I can. How do you plan on like showing up for social media in your

relationship because I feel like everyone wants to show exactly what they want you to see. Like we're all showing on social media what you want the viewers to see. How do you guys want to show up in a relationship on social media? Real. Yeah, that's what I think that's sort of thing. I would rather make sure that it's actually honest. Like I think in any relationship you should do a really good job at separating what you keep private and what other people should know about. So I would like the social media for us to be like how a friend would see our relationship like there's things that we don't want to share because it should stay personal but obviously they should see the good and the bad and all the

difficulties of it because yeah it isn't perfect it's not sunshine rainbows no relationship is and if it looks like that then that feels like less real than anything else yeah i feel like that's how you build community too i feel like social media i think um the world is craving more authenticity and we're really sick of performative and i feel like even in relationships like i want to see of course there's like a line of what to share and whatnot but I think real is like sadly so rare to see on social media and so I think that's cool that you guys want to you know just show the way that you'd want your friends to see you totally I think that's something that I like thought about before any of this I was like I'm never going to edit a picture I'm never going to like you know

put like the filters or things like that because I just I want us to be real like across all aspects I know that like so many people are looking at us now and like we have such a big following I think that it's so important to like be real and in all aspects of social media. It is important. I'm learning that too. Again, going back to the community and like an audience, it's just over the years of, I mean, I've been since I was on the bachelor, this is so crazy, it's almost 10 years. And I'm just like, I think the most consistent thing that people want to see is like, like, oh my God, wait, you struggle with that? Oh, I struggle with that.

And I thought because you are this model looking girl, you wouldn't struggle with this. and so it's just like important that's what people are looking for so and it's hard because i do think social media a lot of times just turns out to be a highlight real like that's what you tend to do so it's we're trying to find ways to do it we're still working on it but um yeah i i really am hoping that we'll do a good job of that because we are just normal people that got thrown a very weird hand yeah last not expect i didn't i would have never imagined in a million years that i'd have even like 600 000 followers on instagram i'm like what the hell like why are you all following me It's so scary, it's such a big responsibility, too, because in this world, too, you're like, did I just say something wrong?

Literally, I know. I feel like I'm, yeah, especially I'm a word vomiter, so. That is, I think that's my brand. Right. I'm just like an open book word vomitur and just like I am the person that wakes up in the morning and regardless of if I drank or not. Yeah. I would go, oopsies. Yeah. I should not have a bad, okay. Is there anything that you guys want to share, like funny?

I do this every podcast. confession as you know anything funny embarrassing behind the scenes your relationship that you're like oh my god this happened to us and nobody knows this it's so embarrassing you already got the peace story out of me so i'm gonna let calce you take this one i'll never forget the piece she can think of something that we had no i was thinking about actually our first kiss um it wasn't on camera but we i had got like your first kiss wasn't on camera right i know how well like they just didn't put it in yeah they didn't put it in so i got lightheaded no no no it was like our first And look at me on night well.

Yeah, I was like, I'm not kissing him on the couch on night one. I was like, well, every girl was coming on me, like, I kissed Joey. And I'm like, oh, then I'm not kissing Joey. I was like, you know, I love that. So, yeah, I purposely like, I looked down, bachelor's like that. Yeah, literally, I was like this with him. I was like, I didn't even think I was going to make it past night one. But anyways, we, um, our first kiss was after on group date.

And I got lightheaded because it was like a workout group day was in the sun. And I had motion sickness from the car ride there, everything. I got lightheaded. And so they put me like in this tent. And I was like eating. crackers and then he came in to like check on me and we were talking and then he kissed me I had mouth full of crackers. Cracker mouth kiss? Dry my mouth was so dry it was like peanut butter crackers. And then after after he kissed me I was like did you taste the crackers?

The first thing you said. Like my mouth literally like just I was like I don't even know what to say to that. I was like yeah it tastes like red's crackers. I was like okay. So that's probably why I didn't make it. Yeah there's probably cracker. Yeah. Did they show that at all of you coming into the tent? No no. It was like it was like it It was kind of, it was early on, they, they knew that she was someone I was really excited about and she wasn't feeling well. So they pretty much were like, do you want to go check on Kelsey? Yeah, I do. But I didn't expect the cracker kiss. Yeah, that is so funny. Wait, I like that. I know. We got to get like behind the scenes moment. Yeah. That's so cute. Oh my gosh. Last thing,

what is like a hurdle or something pivotal in your relationship? Something that's happened where you're both like that really like grew us together and that was the like after the show. Yeah. Has there been anything that you're like, well, that was tough and we got through it. Probably the airing of the show. I was going to say, I feel like the show. Yeah, I feel like just like the, I don't know, like the feedback from like a lot of people with like,

you know, every, I feel like a lot of people didn't want it to be me. And like the feedback I got from that like was really hard on me. And then I was questioning everything like, oh, do you want to be with me all these things? And I think that I just like he just, I mean, kept reassuring me nonstop that, you know,

it's you. It was always going to be you. It would have ever been anybody else. And I think that, well, we also went through couples therapy and stuff. And they just kind of told me like, clutch you just have yeah it's like you just have to like believe i have to believe him and like he's never

done anything to not to show otherwise yeah and i think like we're great now it's like i'm i don't think i don't know if there's one individual thing i would say it's all the little you know the little things that come up and just the fact that we're in a real relationship now you know there are fights there are moments that are really tough and i think the biggest thing is we just continue to choose each other and know that this is definitely we're dealing with issues in relationship that no one usually would or should and there's a different spotlight on it and we just are trying to give ourselves grace and understand that this is normal people have been through this too so we're just trying to learn from it but yeah the biggest thing is we just keep choosing each other

we're going to keep doing that so well i'm rooting for you guys thank you it's i mean it's so we all know how this show works that it's like the what is it the ratio of how many people are yeah yeah the success rate the success right thank you that's what i'm trying to say you didn't say anything so i can't guess it you're just looking at what you're going to say you know what i mean the success rate the success rate of the show is so low but I always say it's been really good great yeah so there's a turnaround yeah there's a shift happening right and I I just say also if you took 20 couples off the street like that the success rate of relationships in general are very hard so I think like obviously respect and choosing each other is all you can do and believing in like

what you have so exactly that's I'm really excited for you guys and I think yeah you seem like a really cute match. And even on and off microphones, there's energy that I always feel in people and humans. And you both have really good energy together and separately, which I think is really cool. Yeah. I'm like, if we could get through all the show craziness, which I feel like we have, of like, you know, navigating our relationship and everything and choosing each other through all of that, I'm like, I think we can do anything. I'm like, we're so good right now. So I think that that's what's like really special. Yeah. I love that. You guys, cute. Kiss, kiss. I'm just kidding.

I got red lipstick on. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday.