Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Kaitlyn’s Bachelorette Rewatch | Tanner Tolbert: Bromance, Rap Battles & Paradise!

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

#839. Bachelor Nation fave Tanner Tolbert kicks off Kaitlyn’s mini-series where she reconnects with the men from her season of The Bachelorette. They take a trip down memory lane—from how his little sister secretly nominated him, to what really went down inside the mansion. Tanner opens up about his bromance with JJ, getting tight with producers, and why the rap battle date had him sweating even more than the boxing ring. He also reveals the exact moment he realized Kaitlyn wasn’t into him… and how that heartbreak actually led to the best thing that ever happened to him in Paradise. Reality TV fans, this one’s for you.If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals!Dime: Revive your skin and give yourself a routine refresh you deserve! Go to DIMEBeautyCO.com today.Quince: Go to QUINCE.com/vine to get free shipping and 365-day returns.Booking.com For the bookings you’ve dreamed of, list your property on Booking.com!Better Help: Visit BetterHelp.com/VINE to get 10% off your first month.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (14:04) Get the inside scoop on the infamous Ryan McDill, his drunken antics, and whether he deserves a reality TV redemption arc!(18:03) The Unexpected Bond with JJ: Discover the unexpected friendship between Tanner and JJ!(22:05) Tanner opens up about his romance with Jade and his Paradise proposal.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Hey, Vinoes, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are, you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can. possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me. Thank you. Now let's get into it. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. And today is a fun one because it's time to interview Tanner Tolbert from my season. He's honestly one of the funniest and he's like got the most dryest, most unexpectedly iconic sense of humor. He's one of my favorite guys from my season. Even though he keeps saying I didn't like him, I don't know why he thinks that. I actually did. Maybe he wasn't the

love of my life, but I liked him. And I just kind of drag him down memory lane and we had a good chat about it. This is so bananas for me to watch back because, and I'm sure you're feeling the same way that I'm like, I blacked out so much of what happened on the show. Like, I don't remember half of the stuff I'm watching back and it's me. Have you watched it again since it aired live or now? No, this is, I've seen like bits and pieces here and there, but I've never fully committed to rewatching. Yeah, neither have I. It's crazy that it's been 10 years. But yeah, It's, it was weird to watch some of these clips again because it's like, it's such a whirlwind. You know, when you're in the moment, like, you're so caught up and all the other, like,

hoopla of it all that you're not even paying attention to what you're doing half the time. I know. Well, and you get so almost like accustomed to the cameras and, like, everything going on that it becomes your normal because it's all you do every day, all day. You don't have your phone. You don't have your friends. You just, like, are living this life 24-7 that it becomes normal. And then watching it back, you're like, this is.

is not normal at all and then people wonder why people behave this way well because you're in the most uncomfortable weirdest situation of all time and it's because there's no other entertainment so you make your own entertainment it's like that's what i almost enjoyed most about the show it's like it was like you're living you know i don't watch soap operas but it's like you're living in your own little mini soap opera and like the only source of entertainment you have is just to like create your own shit and you know i mean you would watch the show before so you know like what makes good tv what doesn't and it's so fun because I always love when people, you know, can, you have to be able to carry a show to some extent to make good TV, but also be a good person. And I feel like you did a good job of both. Like, you were like, you knew how the show worked. You made good TV. You had good one-liners, but you were also like not there for the wrong reasons. Yeah. I mean, the reason I came on the show is because like you said, I love reality TV. I mean, I watched The Bachelor. I watched Survivor, all these shows. That's like, I just wanted to see how the, how the sausage was made almost from inside the show.

So I almost came in with that mindset, and it became very clear early on that, like, I kind of knew my role. So I was like, I'm just going to be the commentary guy, and I'm going to kind of stir the pot and make other people do some crazy stuff. And I'm going to try to thread the needle through this and come out looking okay. So I think I did okay at it. You nailed it. You absolutely nailed it. I was thinking that because knowing that you had watched the show before, who do you think is more dramatic, the men or the women? I think, in a weird way, I think the men are. I mean, I agree.

Yeah, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just because we're not used to being in these settings. Then when we get there, it's like we don't know how to act. But I don't know, our season was, we had some characters, though. Characters. I still look back and I say this, I always say this. Like, there's a few seasons where I believe had really incredible men. And I do always say this that I don't even think I'm biased.

I think our group of men were so solid, like so many different personalities, but so many good ones and so many that went on to do like cool things with their lives. Right. Yeah, we kind of have it. We have a good cast. We really did.

We had like, there's a lot of people that are pretty known from the franchise, weirdly enough. But then there were the odd characters that came in and made the season great too. You know,

it felt like each season, or I'm sorry, each episode, there was like some craziness that happened. It carried the season pretty well. I, well, it's funny because you would think as the lead I would know, like the drama that was going to happen

or I would be like, okay, well, I know that this has to happen. episode so let's roll with the punches but i was always surprised i'd be like can we not catch a break on one of these episodes like but then you think about it and you're like watching the show back you don't want like this easygoing episode where everything goes right because then that's boring tv right we were blessed with tony the healer i mean he provided this thing who knew ian was gonna you know shake things up the way ian did and you and you robbed america perhaps the best story of all by sending

Josh Sider home night one who you know who knows what kind of fireworks could have happened you know happened had he stayed along honestly I he has me blocked I would love to reach out and and uh interview him to see what's going on but I yeah he's he's blocked me but I was thinking what's his name uh Tony the healer I'm like he was so ahead of his time because we're all like now getting into the spiritual zone where people are like you know everybody's wanting to be more Zen and do yoga and, like, you know, see the life through a child's eyes. Yeah, Tony was just a decade early. He may, you know, he may have been final two and bachelor material, how'd he, you know,

had he gone on today. Right. Like, he was kind of like, we laughed at him, but I think he was really laughing at us. And now I wonder, wait, I actually heard something bad happened to him. I mean, the last I saw Tony, he was, like, sick or something. And then I hadn't heard from him for, like, eight years. So I have no idea. I crept him the other night.

So I guess what I'm saying is thought. some prayers to Tony for whatever he's going through. Hopefully, he's, I mean, he calls himself Tony the healer, and I honestly I'm just like, I hope he can... If anyone can make it, make it out, it's the healer. It's the healer, yes. We're all praying for the healer. And before we

obviously dive into drama of the boxing matches and all of that shit that went on, I have questions that I don't think I know the answer to, and I think people would be interested in this. I know you said you were a fan of reality TV, but how did you end up on The Bachelorette. Like, did you fill out the paperwork? Did somebody nominate you?

It was kind of funny. Me and my ex used to watch it together. And then, you know, we obviously broke up and I continued watching it. And so my little sister nominated me. And I was, I had no idea. I was on the way to a Chiefs game, actually, with my friends. And like, I got a call from a producer. And I was like, like, bullshit. Like, I didn't believe it at first. And then, yeah, I just went through the process. And here we are. Yeah, I watched The Bachelor, but I probably wouldn't have chosen. I would rather been like tried to go on Survivor or one of those shows. That's what I wanted to do, but, you know, when, when opportunity calls, you answer. And you did. That's, I feel like I would have wanted to go on, I tried to go on Big Brother, but they don't take Canadians. And then my girlfriend

signed me up for The Bachelor. And I was like, okay, I guess this is the route that I'm on. It turned out to be the right choice for both of us, I think. Yeah. Yes, exactly. And, okay, so you, you want to see how the sausage is made. So when you get into The Bachelor, mansion. And this is something that I noticed. I thought, like, you get out of the limo and you'd hear the music, like the romantic music, or you'd, like, walk in and it would be a normal house, but you look up and there's, like, stage lights and there's cameras everywhere. What shocked you the most when you got into that mansion? Yeah, it was how much it didn't feel like a normal house, like what it looks like on TV. It feels like you're living on a set. You know, you can't go,

you can't turn a corner without some crazy lights or, you know, the amount of sheer people on set. It was probably the most crazy thing out of all the guys who do you think had it the hardest oh easy i think it's sean i think it was sean booth for sure i mean me and sean like we got along but we weren't like tight ever but i i felt very early on that he was a frontrunner which obviously proved to be true and it kind of felt like he got ostracized not like intentionally and maybe maybe it was some of the guys doing maybe it was some of his own where he was like very into you early on but there was a distance there. So I felt like it was probably hardest on him because while a lot of us were there just kind of dicking around half the time, you know, he got serious feelings very early on

and it was pretty evident and things affected him more than, say, affected me. Whereas like, I pretty much knew from Jump. I was like, hey, Caitlin probably doesn't like me. I'm going to have some fun here. And I treated it like a vacation. You know, he had real stuff going on. I feel like a lot of guys thought that I, because Sean was such a frontrunner, I feel like a lot of guys thought like I wasn't even interested, which I actually was. But I actually look back and think, like, I try and hold myself a bit accountable because I'm like, I shouldn't have made it so obvious from the get go that it was him because it put everybody in a tough position. It put other guys in a tough position. It put me in a tough position. It put Sean in a

tough position. And I'm sure, I've heard that happens most seasons. So I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. But yeah, I really think he had the hardest time for sure because it was real for him. whereas for us, it was fun, you know. I get that. Like, if I put myself in, well, my own shoes when I was on Chris Soul season, I was totally there just to have so much fun. I loved meeting all the girls. I wasn't like, I really fell for him towards the end,

but it wasn't like right out of the gates. I wasn't like, oh, shit, I'm going to marry this guy. Like, was a slow build. Yeah. Where for Sean and myself, it was like instantaneous, like, oh, shit, this is a real thing. Right. And I think how hard that is, like, because for me, it's like, I didn't give a shit if you were.

kissing somebody else. Sean cared. You know what I mean? Totally. I know skincare could feel like a lot. Sometimes there's always something new to try. It's easy to get overwhelmed with all the options out there. But here's the thing.

Dime Beauty really makes it simple. They've got a full range of skincare, beauty, body care, and fragrance products that help you feel your best without all the fuss. And it's all about keeping things easy, effective, and of course, feeling great in your skin. I've got to shout out my personal favorite, the tinted glow wonder, SPF 30, wear it daily. It gives my skin this glowy finish while protecting it with SPF.

Every time I take my dogs for the walk, I reapply. It's become my go-to for no makeup days also when I still want to feel put together. It's that good. Grab a coffee and discover non-stop action with BudmGM Casino. Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of One with Multi-Drop. Once even more options. Play a wide variety of table games.

Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills only available at BedMGM. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. 19 plus to wager Ontario only Please play responsibly If you have questions or concerns about your gambling Or someone close to you Please contact Connix Ontario At 1866-531-2600

to speak to an advisor free of charge But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement With Eye Gaming Ontario Bye Okay, so the boxing group date I want to know how you felt about that And did you know that I did not come up with that date? No, as far as who came up with it

I honestly didn't even cross many of our minds. Because that was our first group date, right? Yes. So I think we were just all deer in the headlights. We weren't even like thinking straight. We were still like in shock and awe mode for that first week where we were just like, what the hell are we doing? More, you know, more confused and more like curious to see how this was going to go.

But it was an interesting date. You know, I had a, I wouldn't have chosen to go against the, you know, jacked personal trainer did, you know, if I could do it again. But at least I didn't fall down. He didn't knock me out. I'm okay with that. Yeah, you weren't concussed. You weren't derailed.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You got through it. I remember feeling terrible because I was like, everybody's going to think that I chose violence, that I was like, let's put these men like in a ring shirtless and fight each other. But I was like, I had severe anxiety watching all you guys because,

you know, when you put men and testosterone in that ring, you're going to like, your faces changed. Like, everybody else was like, and it was scary. Yeah, it was a. I've never really been in a fighting situation, so it was interesting. Oh, gosh, yeah, I felt terrible.

When you guys realized, I'm actually jumping backwards and I'm all over the place, but when you guys realized it was me as The Bachelorette, was it actually as close as the TV show made it seem? Because they made it seem like it was neck and neck. And I still, to this day, because Ben Higgins said something to me like, oh, Caitlin, it's you by a long shot. But then I watched it back, and I'm like, was it? Do you remember what that conversation was like? Was it hectic in the house?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I probably spent as moat. I mean, you know me. I'm kind of nosy with that stuff. So I was all night long, I was trying to get a head count. I would say truthfully, it felt like it was 6535. But there were like, there were like four people that were like playing it pretty close to the best and undecided. So we were like, man, they could, if they all went to Brithside, like could it actually be like a one vote swing? So it was pretty close. But for the most part, it felt like we were pretty confident that Kate one's going to be our Bachelorette, but everything

would have had to go Brits away. You know, if you're watching an election night, the swing states, like every swing state would have had to go Brits away for her to win. That's what, watching it back again for the first time, I'm like, man, this is intense with the voting and the boxes and putting the roses and, but you were

wait, you were the one standing there with me when Ryan McDill slapped my ass, weren't you? Yeah, yeah. Well, because Ryan is from Kansas City, so we actually found out that we were going on the show ahead of time, like through a mutual friend. So we met up like a week before we left just to like grab some drinks and get to know each other. So night one, you know, familiar face and that house goes a long way. So I was like, hey, what's up, Ryan? And so we were kind of, you know, tagging along together. So I was with him, it felt like half the night,

partially because I knew him and partially because he was entertaining, to say the least. He had a few too many cocktails. But yeah, so I happened to be there during that, that incident. that. I just thought of that that you were the one standing there that time. Now, I, I personally love Ryan McDill. I thought, obviously that was inappropriate for him to touch me that way, but like overall, I'm like, I have moved on. I forgive him. I think he's freaking hilarious. He was so entertaining that night. And what I thought was the craziest. And some people know this because I've talked about it before, but maybe some people don't, is that we filmed night one over two nights. So we all had to put on, you know, the same outfits.

have the same hair, act like it was the same night over two different nights of filming. And so Ryan McDill is so drunk night one that you're like, what happens if he's sober? Exactly. We talked about that. He had the chance to redeem himself because had he come out and been a proper gentleman, night two, all the night one stuff wouldn't have made sense. It wouldn't have made the edit. He could have like coasted through, but nope, he got equally as drunk night two. It was like, you know, nothing had changed. It was seamless. And, uh, yeah. He almost doubled down. Like, I remember somebody saying he filled up his cup with fireball, and he's like, well, got to keep it consistent and just, like chugged his firewall. He did.

He did. Yeah. I mean, like I said, I was with him half the night, so he was getting after it for sure. I know, we were robbed. Yeah, in a different world. What if Ryan McDill and Josh Sider made it, like, halfway through the season? This could have been insane. Well, do you want to know something crazy is my sister called me right before they took my phone away,

and she said a few guys' names have. leaked one was Ryan McDill and the other was Brady and the guy that left with Brett or whatever yeah yes and I was like oh my god hot they were like athletes and they looked cute and then I was like night one I'm like looking for them and then I was like oh oh yeah no I mean because I had known of Ryan a little bit just from being in the same city and like yeah he chicks liked him man he he was a very eligible bachelor he's very funny yeah from the bachelorette used to date him right or Juan Pablo, Nikki. Yeah, she used to date him. So, like, I knew of Ryan. And I, going into it, I was like, oh, Ryan's going to be stiff competition because, like, of the reputation he had and, you know,

a good-looking cat and funny. But he flew a little too close to the sun. Did he surprise you? If you knew of him and you had went for drinks before, were you surprised at the way he behaved on night one? Or were you, like, classic Ryan? That is Ryan. Like, the Ryan I met before was still cut from that cloth, but he took it to 100. Like, normally, I feel like he's like, you know, down here but still on like a funny joky level but he he he went here i don't know if it was the drinks or the pressure of national tv but he he was he was full on i tried i tried to reach out to get him uh on for an interview but it's funny because he had actually dm'd me a few times just like hey lexine how you're doing and we had chatted back and forth and then when i asked him to come on it

was like radio silence yeah yeah i think i think he may have had a kid i saw recently but he seems to be doing well. But yeah, Ryan, he's a good dude. He's a funny guy. I wish America got to see a different side of him. Me too. Me too. I feel like redemption for Ryan McDell needs to be a thing. I also love the friendships that were formed from this season. Obviously, you and Jared are like so close and Ashley and Jade. And were you and Jared really close during filming? About halfway through the season, me and Jared got really close. So me and JJ, JJ was like my best friend from the show probably so me and me and jay j were always joking it up and having fun and then like halfway through jared kind of joined us a little bit it felt like and we the three of us started

hanging out a lot and so that friendship is carried on i still talk to j jay and jared all the time and we still keep in touch with ben quite a bit as well um you know a few of the others in here and there but some some some some true lifelong friendships with a few of the guys for sure absolutely i mean i still feel like i have like you jared um ben h like i feel like we're all still good friends. I like cherish those friendships that came out of it too. And I also think about like, so you Jared and JJ, like JJ, the whole like obviously RIP Clint when I heard about my heart dropped. I'm like that. That was devastating because it's it's so sad and I feel like you know, they tried, they did something on the show with JJ and Clint that I don't think would

pass the sniff check in 2025. Like I almost want to know your side from watching the JJ and Clint romance, like, what was it like actually behind the scenes compared to what they were making it look like on camera? Yeah, I mean, it was like very hardcore, like locker room, like humor, like, almost hazing frat boy style. So, like, I found it funny because I could tell the type of people that JJ and Clint were and I, you know, I was comfortable with it, but most of the house wasn't. They felt like all their jokes were like personal where I thought that was kind of funny.

But yeah, most of the guys were not thinking it was funny at all. Like, honestly, most of the house was, like, very anti-JJ and Clint. Whereas I thought it was just, I thought it was laughed. So after Clint got sent home that night, like, I felt like JJ was ostracized. So when we went to New York, I could tell he was a little down because he felt like everyone hated him. So that's when I asked, I was like, hey, buddy, I'll room with you because, like, nobody else wanted to. So me and JJ started becoming roommates. And that's where me and JJ got, like, super close.

Because I saw it, like, the real side of JJ and, you know, not the villain side. That's, yeah, because I feel like I, I mean, I obviously don't see what all goes on in the house, but always on like one-on-one time. It was clear. I really like JJ and I really like to quit. Was there anything that wasn't shown that you wish they showed on the show? I mean, not really. I feel like they did a pretty good job of showing all our drama.

But as far as what actually made it on air, I mean, I think they caught most of the drama. There was drama every night. I mean, the drama didn't hide. It really was peddled to the metal drama every night. I also laughed because I watched back at how I said, I'm Canadian, and I said drama. That's how I said drama. I was always like, there's so much drama. And I'm like, whoop?

I said drama. That's so funny. Obviously, we're not there yet because we're going to get to episode five down the road. But I had to bring up you going against Ben Z in the rap battle because do you remember your rap? A little bit, yeah. You know, I was the most nervous for that date out of all of them. You know, boxing, whatever, you get in there, you deal with it. But, like, having to be creative, and that is not where I'm comfortable.

Like, I don't want to get on. I hate being on stage. Yeah, but, you know, I took my bee rabbit from eight-mile notes and was trying to rhyme the best I could. And I was like, and if I can't beat Benzie, who's, like, the most nice guy in the world, then I can't beat anybody. So I had to go for a few digs. It almost felt like a rapping roast that you did, which I thought was very creative. Yeah, that was the only method I could figure out to not make a fool of myself. And then, wasn't that the date that Nick came into the episode?

That was. So, yeah, there was, like, rumors started spreading while we were at the rap battle date that, like, Nick was there in the audience with, you know, maybe someone else from the show. So, like, it became very, we started getting a little skeptical of them. We were like, that's weird that he's here, you know? because so it was starting to get on our radar and then obviously later that night he shows up isn't that so weird to think about like everything that every turn that you've taken in life that puts you in a position to be where you're at today which is so wild happening the most beautiful children like it's and that all happened from going on a crazy reality TV show that

you used to watch with your ex-girlfriend right I think about it a lot there are so many dominoes that had to fall. Just the specific timing, getting on the season with this group of people, you know, somehow managing to make it through as far as I did to go to Paradise. Yeah, it's pretty nuts. Like my life would obviously be a zillion times different. So it's, even though it was a wild experience, I'm very thankful for it. Yeah, no kidding. I mean, I do want to shift gears into Bachelor in Paradise because the vibes are very different than the Bachelor at Mansion. I've obviously never experienced the beaches of Paradise. But what was your mindset going into Paradise? coming off of such an intense season of The Bachelorette.

Oh, it felt so nice because, like, nerves are high. When you're going into that first show, like, you don't know what to expect. And there was only, like, a month break for us between when I got sent home in Ireland to going into paradise. So, like, I felt like a, you know, a veteran at this point. I was still in it. My mind was in it. I was just purely excited to get down there and being, like, a different environment.

Because, like, being on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette's, like, it's more like, wow. and you're like, oh my God, what's going on? When you're in paradise, like, it's so comfortable. And I always feel bad for like the people that, like you that never got to go down there because it's so much more fun. It really is. I've heard that. It's so much more.

I mean, you get to spend way more time with the person that you want to spend time with. I spent more time on the day one with Jade than I did, you know, six weeks with you. You know what I mean? Yeah. I know. I actually do think. I mean, it makes sense because there are like quite a few. people that come out of Bachelor and Paradise that are more successful than on Bachelor

and Bachelor, but it makes sense because you get to spend, like, so much time with them, plus you've got tummy issues. And once you get there with somebody, you're, like, so comfortable because of all the, like, I don't, I feel like everybody gets sick in, in paradise. Is that true? Something in the water, yeah. Yeah, it's the water that you're not supposed to drink.

But do, wait, so obviously this was like nine years ago now, but I remember something. Did you want to meet Jade there? Or was it day one that it was like, bam, you two from the get-go? Yeah, no, she was definitely like the person I wanted to go for. So I told her that from the jump. I said, like, hey, I'm into you. If you're into me, let's do this. If you're not, I'm just going to have some fun here.

Yeah. You tell me, and we kind of clicked and hit it off there. I don't know if she liked that I was just bold and told her that right out of the jump. But, yeah, the rest is history. Did you guys date other people on Paradise or you just stayed together from now? No, I mean, it was, I kissed her night. one and then we never looked back there was early on producers were like kind of trying to do the whole Tanner versus Jared thing for a minute but um that didn't really get much legs so we were pretty we were a

pretty boring story we me and jay joke about it was like I mean if we if we we would have tried to make better TV and then maybe get together episode two or three you know because we didn't we didn't provide many uh fireworks but did you and jade talk uh before going on bachelor and paradise Not at all. I mean, there was a couple girls that reached out from previous seasons that, like, DM me. Like, hey, are you going to be there? And you can tell they were kind of trying to, like, feel it out. But now, Jade and I had zero communication.

The most I did, it's like, this is back in, like, Twitter date. When Twitter was, you know, before X, I followed Jade on Twitter. And I would just like a lot of her tweets to let her, you know, to let her know I was out there. And I'm like, hey. And that was it. So she joked about that because she always said that she noticed me doing that just from. Plantin the seed. Yeah.

I didn't want to be creepy and try the DM. So that's it. Twitter likes as far as I did. That's so funny. And what do you think the moment was when you were like, I actually think I could spend the rest of my life with this person? Like, realistically, like three quarters of the way through. Because Paradise is a lot short.

You know, it's only like a month long. So I remember that final week, one of the producers, Alon, me and him, at that point he could tell that like me and Jade were the furthest along as far as our relationship goes. And about a week before filming, he's like, he had long walks with me on the beach. We'd play bocce ball together and he's like, you could tell he was trying to like butter me up for the whole idea of a proposal. And I remember like the day one, I was like, bro, Alon, I don't think I can do this.

I was like, 10% chance I'll do it. And then day two, we talked again. It was 20%. And then, you know, a couple days before, I was like, all right, let's go there. We finally got to that point where I felt at least comfortable taking that leap. Yeah, if anyone's going to convince anyone to do anything, it's Ilong Gail. Like, he is a genius. He is good at it.

I mean, I think he's the main reason the show was so good. Oh, for sure. I mean, you could tell a difference when he left the show. I feel like nobody's even working there anymore that you saw. There were so many people that were there for decades. And now I'm like, I don't even know. Yeah, production is completely changed over. But he was talented.

Yeah. Okay, I know. What do you think about Bachelor in Paradise merging with Golden Bachelor? in Paradise and having those aged groups on the same beach. I don't know. It's weird to me. I feel like, I love, we actually liked watching the golden stuff, but I feel like they're trying to jam the golden stuff down our throat at every turn.

Every episode has a golden person in it. And I'm like, okay, that's fine on its own entity, but I don't know if we need to mix it. Like, are they going to be living in the same house? Are they going to be two separate camps? Are they using the same boom boom room? Right. Yeah, I don't know. It's just, I don't know if I would feel as comfortable hanging.

out you know with grandpa next door i don't know just a different vibe and i mean like i feel like you would kind of like what we love about golden bachelorette is how pure it is and what we love about bachelor in paradise is how raunchy and like crazy it is and i feel like mixing the two i feel like everyone's going to kind of be more on their best behavior or have like more like conversations with their parents to like get good advice and i'm like no no it's not what we want yeah we don't want the Goldens to lose their purity in paradise, which I'm worried could happen. And then, yeah, we don't want the crazy young people to be, you know, kind and respectful. We want, you know, we want both of those camps to say, stay separate. That's so true. I'm very curious. I mean,

obviously people are going to tune in because. Yeah, I'm going to watch. Maybe they'll figure it out and it'll be great. I don't know. I'm a little worried about it. Once cameras wrapped from Paradise and you were finally off the beach together, was it still like, for example, like Sean and I coming off the season compared to being on? Like, there was so much to talk about and so much to get through. And, you know, all the attention that comes along with it and having to do like, I don't know, events together and feeling a certain way. Like, did you guys feel a lot of pressure or were you like, what was the transition like for you? To a lesser degree.

I mean, because when you're a couple from paradise, you don't have all the headlines. You know, you guys dealt with a lot more than what we did. And you guys had to navigate. You just got done dating a bunch of other people. You know, we didn't. You know, it was pretty much an easy one-on-one relationship that just happened to be on camera, whereas yours was like a whole social experiment, completely different vibe. So, yeah, I mean, it's still weird going to like the Good Morning Americas and doing all the press stuff

and then like having to keep it secret for months. Like that part was obviously weird. but it's under much less scrutiny than I think what you went through. Did you guys recently go back to, I feel like I saw a picture where all the Bachelor in Paradise people went back to the beach? I mean, it had been, it's been years now. We went back for like a season after us and then like two seasons after that, but it's probably been a good five years since we've done.

Oh, it must have been an old photo I saw or something. But you and Jade have been married for nine years, which is crazy. I mean, I was a lot of your wedding. That was a really fun wedding, by the way. but do you look back at nine years and be like that's flown by like i can't believe we've been together for nine years oh every day we talk about that it's crazy i mean it doesn't feel like that long ago we were we were getting out of the limos and like that still seems like a recent memory to me which is strange but yeah a nine year marriage i got a seven-year-old daughter i guess we're just

getting a old that's i mean i can't believe yeah you have a seven-year-old daughter you have the most adorable kids nine years i feel like relationships go through so many ups and downs and And, like, especially, I always talk about foundations of relationships. I think Bachelor and Paradise is a much more solid foundation to start on than Bachelor or Bachelorette. But I hate this question, but I'm going to ask it. What do you think makes it work for you too? Man, I mean, there's obviously parts that have been challenges after the show is hard. You kind of have to refall in love again.

But, yeah, the foundation for us is that our personality is just mesh. It's been easy, you know, from day one as far as like a day. life thing. You know, I think as long as you enjoy hanging out with each other and you're each other's best friend, then the rest figures itself out. Yeah, that's fair enough. And what is something that surprised you about parenting that nobody warned you about?

It's the noise. The constant noise. Like, it's crazy. The amount of, the little bit of alone time that you get, lack of privacy and noise, I mean, it's all good. I'll miss it when it's gone. Of course. Yeah, it's one of those things.

It's one of those things I always have to remind myself. It's like, all right, Imagine when I'm 70, I would give anything to go back and deal with this chaos. But when you're in it, it's hard. It's a lot of noise. I'm also a very sensitive person to noise. Like, it's like I get overwhelmed by noise. And my dog, Raman, will bark so loud every day all day.

And then I'll just look at them. I'll be like, oh, you can bark forever. I'm going to miss this when it's gone. Because you're right. It's like, I mean, you can see already how fast time goes. And, you know, the fact that your daughter's already. You said she's seven? Yeah, yeah, in first grade right now.

My gosh. Now, do they understand how their parents met? A little bit. Emmy does a little bit. The boys really don't. Emmy knows that, like, she came on Paradise with us for, like, an episode afterwards. Like, she knows that she was on TV once. And she, like, if we're out at, like, a grocery store and someone random recognizes Jade and I or something like that, they'll come up and talk to us.

And she'd be like, how does people know you? And so she, like, she understands that. Like, people saw us on TV at least. Like, I don't think she understands exactly what the show format was. You know, she'll watch it someday, but she has an idea. You can YouTube anything these days, and I feel like all kids know how to work YouTube. Right, I know. I don't want, I'm not ready for the day when, like, all her little friends and are making jokes about us about being on TV and the stupid stuff we did.

Or maybe they'll think you're really cool. Man, one of the other. I doubt it, though. High risk, high reward. Okay, a few Bachelor Nation rapid fire questions. who in Bachelor Nation makes you laugh the hardest? Oh, it's easily JJ. Really?

He cracks me up. He is, yeah, I know he, a lot of people viewed him as like the villain, but the dude is funny. Did they show that side of him, or do you think his humor is misunderstood? Probably more misunderstood. He's a very, you know, he's a very specific taste, but he just happens to be my tastes. Yeah, I can get that. I like his sense of humor. I feel like I have similar sense of humor.

I know you guys did marriage bootcamp, didn't you? Terrible. I hate it. We didn't enjoy that experience. I've heard horrible things about that. But would you ever go back on reality TV again in a different format? Like, I don't know, whether it be like a couple's game show or like traders kind of thing, would you ever do that? Oh yeah. I would love to do any sort of game challenge, just maybe not, you know, marriage therapy a month after meeting each other. That wasn't the right recipe. But yeah, we would love to do any of the couple's challenges or games. I mean, we all got to do together. family feud. Yeah, that was fun. Okay, do you think there's still room for real love stories in the franchise, or do you think it's all changed now because of social media? I think there's room, but it has definitely changed because when we went on, the people on our seasons before us really didn't have following. So that wasn't even on our radar. So now I think people are so aware that you're not getting their authentic self as much. They're almost too aware of how the public's going to perceive them. So you have to just weed through that bullshit to get to

the realness, and then maybe they can grow. So, like, I still think some of the recent couples seem to be good fits. I don't know them, but... I know. Like, Joey and Kelsey, I mean, again, this is all just based on social media, which is, who knows, what's a lie and what's the truth, but they seem solid,

but they also, I don't know, I just feel like sometimes it randomly works out for people where I'm like, I think that actually was the way they were supposed to meet, but our season was like the last season before everybody was going on for social media. Right, yeah, because we didn't expect to get anything like that.

That wasn't even on our radar. But was there anything else that you wanted to say about the season or anything that you were like, I want to clear this up? Or did we pretty much hit everything? No, I mean, we pretty much had everything. I was there for the fun. And thank you, Caitlin, for keeping me along as... Keep me as long as you did so I could meet my wife.

So I owe you. You and Jared, for me, not to put you in the friend zone, but you already knew that. Jared knows that, too. But you guys kept me sane and I had so much fun with you and I'll, your whole, the rap battle and what you said to me in the coffin, hilarious. Yeah, the coffin was my favorite. That was like my tipping point.

I was at the point now. I was like, I am tired of flying all over the country for this. I'm ready to go home. Why am I still here? All the guys know, Caitlin doesn't like me. So like, I almost had a breakdown that day in the coffin. And that was like my humor coming out. I was like, all right, I know that she doesn't like me.

Send me home. I don't want to go to the next country. You're like, I cannot spend one more day eating meat. and potatoes drinking Guinness in Ireland. Yeah, that was done. That was a long time to spend in Ireland. Well, please give Jade a huge hug for me. I love her so much.

And thank you for coming on. And I can't believe it's been 10 years, but thank you for being on that journey with me. Thanks for having me. I'd like to thank Tanner for being so gracious and kind to come on and sharing his experiences with us. I love him and Jade so much. It's amazing to hear about his journey

and how he has created a beautiful life with a beautiful family out of all of this from The Bachelorette to Bachelor in Paradise to now being a husband and a father. I really appreciate him and this full circle moment.