Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Kaitlyn's BFF Bri Cook

Episode Date: June 5, 2017

Kaitlyn makes the mistake of inviting her bestie Bri Cook to answer listener questions to the best of their abilities, but Bri brings up some serious behind-the-scenes dirt on Kaitlyn! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. Okay, are you ready to shake things up? Yes, I am. Well, Caitlin Bristow is creating a space where girls and Jets can feel empowered to be themselves. Because there's more to like than Instagram, right? What's that supposed to mean? Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Now here's Caitlin. Welcome to Off the Vine. I am your host, Caitlin Briscoe. I have a bottle of wine in my hand, so I'm just going to pour myself a glass. Do you hear that? It's a beautiful sound. So beautiful. I just wanted to start off this podcast by saying, thanks for the response to my podcast,

because everybody was so friendly and kind. And, I mean, I expected a few haters because I feel like you kind of make it if you have haters. But I was really just taken back by. how sweet everybody was. So I just want to say thank you. And I'm also very excited about who my guest is today. Oh, did I say that Canadian? Because I'm in Canada, a boat.

I'm very excited about my guest today. You guys probably, if you follow me on Snapchat, you remember her as Kathy, from Kathy and Theresea. With a C. With a C, obviously. And Therisa. And Bree is here. Hi.

And my other girlfriend's here, too, Bailey. She's my little producer for the day, so she can chime in. And I told her to laugh at my jokes. Um, so, yes, Bree is here. Bree is pretty much the reason that I even am where I am because she grew up across the street from me. We danced together. Well, we were kind of awkward friends at first.

So awkward. So awkward. We could definitely talk about that, about that. And, oh, don't do that the whole time. Every time I'm just going to stop myself and say it more Canadian. Um, and we grew up across the street from each other. We went to school together. We danced together.

And I moved to Vancouver. You moved to Vancouver. and you were on the radio, so I feel like you're going to be a professional today. No pressure. I haven't been on the radio in two and a half years. Okay, then you probably are going to suck. I'm a little rusty. A little rusty.

That's okay. That's why we have wine. And we just realized that you're kind of behind Rick as well. Because whenever we drink together, not even when we're drinking together. We have our own way of speaking when we're around each other. Which is going to morph into it at some point during this podcast. Yes, it already is. This is how we talk.

That's how we talk. oh my gosh let's not do that the whole time well it's and it happens the more wine I drink the more Rick I get you know why we talk like that is because we used to sit around and watch anchor man yep over and over and over again and then dodgeball yeah and so the two voices combined Ron Burgundy and White Goodman white W-H-I-T-E that is that's why we start we would watch it on a loop basically and then it just got embedded in our brains and that's how we started to talk like that and then it turned into my Rick voice and now here we are and whenever if you go back and watch the bachelor season that you're on

whenever you can tell whenever you were drunk because the voice would come out on your little interviews to the camera yes and nobody all my friends were like I could tell when you were drunk and I was like yeah because of my voice we'd call it the Ron voice but now it's the Rick voice oh and I just couldn't be like you are I'm just going to praise you a little bit here Okay, I'll take it. Yeah, you are the reason that I met Sean and the reason for Rick. And what's so funny is that you, I went through like a, not a nasty breakup, just like a sad breakup.

Yes, sad. And I was like, what am I going to do? And you're like, this is your time. This is like, this is when you go on The Bachelor and this is all going to happen. I didn't say like the first day. No. I let you have a few months of grieving. Yes.

And I was like, can we audition you for the Bachelor? Yeah. And you came, we went downtown Vancouver. And you were like, it was for Juan Pablo season, which like, thank goodness you didn't get cast on Juan Pablo season. Could you imagine? My whole life would be so different. And like mentally, I was not prepared at all to be in a relationship. No. But you, that wouldn't have lasted. Don't worry. No. But that's so weird. So I was supposed to be on Juan Pablo season. And no, you weren't supposed to. That's what I audition for. Your entire audition tape is just you talking about what you would have done with, what kind of

date would you have done with Juan Pablo? Well, what did I say? You said something about like taking him and his daughter. You're like, Camila. Did I say it like that? Oh my God. And you were talking about bringing him to La Dukes so he could see the grassy fields. Wow. That, no wonder they didn't call me. No, they didn't call you because they didn't see it in time. Because we, remember how serious we were? I made you FedEx it overnight to L.A. So they would see. I was like, this is not going to happen. see how desperado you were so desperate and then they didn't look at it because we didn't realize at that point they totally already cast that season like they were even going to look at it because they already had their cast right that's why they called you like a year later i thought it was because i talked about grassy field so they saved me for chrisoles oh actually you just solve the mystery yeah that's exactly why that makes sense um and then so they called me a year later and they were like oh do you want to go on the bachelor and And I'm like...

And you stayed single that whole time. I did. Yeah. I did. I mean, I went on dates, but... Yeah. It doesn't matter. That doesn't count.

So then you had a baby in the time I was gone. Yeah, I remember that. Do you recall the time you had a baby? And then when I got back, you were like, oh my gosh, he sent you home third. You're going to be the bachelorette. And I was like, there's no way. Yeah. I just knew the whole time.

I knew when we made your tape, I knew when they saw it. I called it a tape. It was a DVD. Yeah. We had to send my husband out to find DVDs that you could burn. Yeah. Because they don't let you, well, maybe they do now, but back then they didn't let you send a digital copy.

Back in the day. Like over email, you had to package it and send it. Right. So I said, when they watch this, they're for sure going to call you. I just knew it. And I knew that I made an awesome video because I edited it. Yeah. And I remember we added a fake applause at the end.

Oh my gosh. We should upload that on like Instagram. We should. Maybe that would be really embarrassing, but I don't care. Parts of it. It's like five minutes long. I don't think we could do the whole thing, but for sure. Oh, my God.

And I did a little dance and. In a grassy field. Naturally. In my natural habitat. Grassy field, dancing, probably having some wine. Sounds like something I would do. I got off topic. Oh, when we're talking about my baby when I had my baby.

Yeah. Yeah, because I knew that if you made it far, you were going to miss the birth of my son. Sorry about that. And at the same time, we didn't know if he was going to be a boy or a girl. And then he ended up coming over two weeks early. Right. really missed it and so before uh your mom and your sister left for the hometown date yeah that wasn't in your hometown um in phoenix my not home not my hometown you have to i don't know if you're allowed

to tell them any news from the outside world but you have to tell them i had my baby tell them it's a boy tell him his name and i clearly started crying yeah because i cry over everything i love yeah i don't cry for like sad things i cry over things that i love kately cried more at my wedding than i did let's just put that out there everything you did i was bawling my eyes and of you is like wiping away a cheer which was pretty like a beautiful moment yeah made for great photos i love that about you thanks i love you too um i wanted to do a segment because okay brie knows me better than sometimes maybe i even think my own family you do you know me better than anyone what is what is my favorite tv show in the whole world family guy yeah i know every

episode sean will put it on the tv and we'll be watching family guy and he'll go what season and what episode now which that's a little crazy but i know what season every time and i'll be like close to what episode it is he's like you're weird do you know like the number like this is season three episode 14 yeah that's what i'm saying oh my god like i love family guy i don't even know this okay good because otherwise i don't know if you guys would work out well i because i'm like he does he's like this fitness fanatic and i'm not and he's like oh have like one or two beers and i'm like give me a bottle of wine or two bottles but at least you have family guys But we have family guy to bond over.

Okay, good. And so we use that as our time to bond. And I remember like Peter Griffin did this segment. I would. You act like Peter Griffin's your friend. He is. I feel like in the cartoon world, we would be friends. All of Caitlin's stories start with.

That one time on family guy. I know. Or you say, it's like when I had my gold sunfire. My gold sunfire. That car was awesome. Anyway, it was the worst color I've ever seen, but, um, interesting color. Yeah, very interesting color. Someone said to me once about my car.

It was gold, but it was like a puk gold. It was a puke gold. You were so proud of that car. Back to Peter, my man, my main man, Peter. Pete, I call him. He did a section on, a segment on his show called What Grimes My Gears. And I'm like, genius, Pete. I'm like, I'm going to do that.

So I was thinking about what we could talk about, like, what grinds my gears. and I remembered something that we both bond over. Oh, mesophonia. We just pulled out her Oprah. Misophonia. So I was on the airplane flying to Edmonton before I came to Vancouver, and I'm not, bless this lady's heart. She was so sweet, but I wanted to throat chop her.

What? You video a bit? Oh, no. Yeah, we have misophonia. You do too? Everyone does. Yes. it's a real disease but it's like next level for me anyway yeah me too this lady on the plane you guys

she was eating her muffin oh sick and she had the wrapper she started licking the wrapper of her muffin and i was like oh boy and i didn't have my headphones and i didn't know what to do and i had anxiety and then where was she sitting in relation to you right beside me oh sick i was the aisle she was the middle and then she opened her like cookies from the plane and licked that wrapper too and then it no don't lick wrappers don't people yeah just side note if you're ever sitting beside me on a plane actually do it that'd be hilarious I'd be like because then I'd be like thanks you listen to my podcast but can wait yeah so I don't know what it is about the noise of eating or drinking I even get annoyed at myself like when I chug water I'm like ugh why do I sound like that like

at the noise of people depending on what you eat if when you hear it in your own head like growing up with my sister when she would sit at the table and eat cereal oh cereal and soup one of the worst oh that was another thing she had coffee on the plane too but i mean i'm not judging her because she was such a sweetheart it's like you got to eat we got girls got to eat yeah but she's really hungry she had to lick the wrapper she really had to eat but it's just the noise like and that's what grinds my gear great segment kately All right. You know what's really funny is I just noticed?

You're going to get a lot of people who relate to that. Misophonia is more, people are more and more aware of it these days. Yeah, well, we, you know, and that's what we have to do is just bring awareness and have conversation and bring awareness to the cause. I just look down and I'm like, not only am I wearing two watches today, but I also have two drinks in front of me. I have a mimosa and a glass of rosé because I feel like those are such acceptable breakfast drinks.

Yeah, it's almost new. It's 1120. It's close enough, close enough. Hey, I've heard a rumor that it's 5 o'clock somewhere, and I know how time zones work, so there you go. Hey, did you come up with that yourself? Nope. Family guy. I'm just kidding.

That was actually from Eastbound and Down, Kenny Powers. Oh, another one of your faves. I just, you know what I do? People think I'm funny, but really I'm just like recycling. You are a joke stealer. I'm a joke stealer, and I just recycle movie quotes. But you have the best delivery. my timing is impeccable

impeccable timing oh there he is Rick came out I heard you Rick Rick in the house but sometimes when you tell it it's funnier than it was

on the TV show Yeah So that's Keep talking I have to sit my limosa No that's just too much pressure now Sorry Sorry

Sorry What were we saying We're just talking about how funny you are But I gotta take you out of notch Because we're just pumping you up way too much Oh, wait until we get to the question segment where all my questions are like, so how does it feel that's such a great, confident friend?

Those are the ones I like to ask. Did you hear my last one with Sean? I'm like, you know, some girl called me a goddess. Yeah. I was pretty happy about that. I don't know how if you can top that. No, that I feel like, back to the noises, I feel bad, saying that now. Yeah, maybe that was a little bit rough.

Sounds are gross. Sounds are gross. It doesn't matter who you are. I'm sure, whatever. I feel bad. But it was just the. noises. The noises bug me. They make you feel like unexplainable rage. There are like two things in life that bring out my rageiness. And it's like when I drive and misophonia. Yeah. When I'm driving,

I am such an a-hole. Like I get angry over anything. And then I'm like, oh, I'm fine when I get out of the car. What grinds your gears? Hmm. Misophonia. And when you bow nudge me. Oh, because I have pokey elbows. Yes. I always, every time I laugh, I bow nudge her. And I'm like, okay, first of all, You always, you, you don't think I laugh enough at your jokes. You don't. I laugh so hard at all of your jokes and you do not like, you really do take me down a notch. I sound like the worst friend ever. No, that's a good friend.

Sometimes I just don't laugh out loud. I'm not like a loller. A loller. Loller. Yeah. I just, I laugh on the inside and then, and then you bow nudge me like, laugh harder. Laugh, please. Because I really think I'm funny.

Like, you are funny. Sometimes even I'm by myself, I do mirror high fives. I'm not kidding. I do. Like if it's going to be a good day or I think I look good or I'm like doing big things. I'm like, when I, my podcast, when I first did it, I got into the bathroom and I was like, good for you. You know what? I want to start doing that.

It's a good way to pump you up. I'm not kidding. It will change your day. Okay. Challenge accept. It's a day changer. That's what you call it. The high five day changer.

Okay. Everybody try it. Everybody out there, give yourself a mere high-five. Tell me how you feel. Rick for sure does that double high-foy. No, he does high-tens. Oh, that's what I mean. He does high-tens.

With his little noodle arms. Hey, those are my arms you're talking about. I know. That's what Sean sometimes. I was saying on the last one, like, I get so mad because he makes fun of Rick. And I'm like, but he's me. But I'm like, when that's me. Like, he's like, look at Rick's little arms.

I'm like, those are my little arms. But with a man's face on those little. little arms it's just the best combo um have you been watching this season of the bachelorette yes okay i can't not talk about it like every time i do what did i try overly to say about the other way you're like about it i noticed and you know i was going to call you out your eyes like open bigger when i said about because i tried so hard to go the other way and you tried to play it off like what What happened? I was trying.

In my mind, I was like, don't say a boat. And then I was like, so, about. I can't not talk about it. Oh, gosh. Now I'm going to think, I'm going to overthink every time. I'm turning red. You're getting sweaty. You're going to find like a synonym for about so you don't have to say the word.

Oh, man. Anyway, about the bachelor. Yes. What about it? I can't not talk about it. Oh my God. That was better. That was better.

Okay, thanks. But so the first episode was hilarious. I think that was one of their funniest first episodes. I was obsessed with the doll. Oh. The dolls. When he's like, I disgusted her. I feel it.

I just want to know, like, because I obviously know producers now, I'm like, I want to know what producer was behind what, but sometimes I can guess. And I'm like, that was so Todd. Oh, so Todd. I know I do. who Todd is so something Todd would do that's such a Todd thing but I really did feel like they made it they made it funny yeah instead of like like usually it's funny and we're all laughing at them but this time I feel like we were laughing with them like yeah they knew the first episode was kind of a joke

yeah that was good who do you like um I like Peter Peter Peter of course I like Peter Pete you mean yeah and I kind of like waboom thank you thank you We're the only ones who like Waboon. Everyone doesn't like him. I always get so annoyed. Like on my season when I try to not give too much info of secrets, but I have to. Like, who was it, Tony the Healer? Who's my, on my first night where I was like, everyone was like, I can't believe she kept him.

Was it Tony? Probably. Yeah. It's like, yeah, because it's good TV and that's what you guys watch this show for. It's not like night one you want to see the romance. It's not like Tony the Healer was. going to take Sean B's spot. He wasn't going to win.

Wabom is not going to win. No. And that one guy who's worrying about Wabom so much, like, oh my gosh. You really think Rachel's going to pick Wabom? No. Have a little more confidence, bro. Yeah.

That guy, well, actually, I shouldn't say it. What? I just don't want to be mean. I know. It's so hard not to them. Because when people are mean to you, that wasn't nice. See? We're changing the world.

Yeah. I'll just leave it at that. I like Wabom and people don't need to worry about it. I honestly, we talked about this. in the last podcast, I will buy a Woboom t-shirt and rock it. I will. Can you get me one too? Yeah.

Put it in an order for two. Okay. I'll give you the money. Remember that one time? I'll save on shipping. Remember that one time you paid me to tweet something? Remember? You were like, I dare you to tweet this.

I'll pay you. What was it like? It was when someone on the Super Bowl. It was like the chargers. I don't know football. And then I told you to call him the horse. And I thought it was so funny, and I tweeted, and I hashtagged ad. It's like, I'll pay you ten bucks if you tweet this.

And you did. You sent me a money transfer. I didn't think you actually would. I did send you a money transfer. You know, I was really in a jam. I really needed the money. I could have got you out of a few jams. You're welcome.

Thank you. I'll take credit for that too. It probably bought me a bottle of wine that made me happy, so thank you for the $10. You're welcome. Anyways, well, boom, T-shirts. But who's the guy that always gives him a hard time? Blake E. Blakey.

Blakey. He will be called that for the rest of his career. Blake E. Like Shambi. I also liked Benzie from your season because it sounds like Benzie. Benzie, yeah. That's what Blakey sounds like. Except I called him Ben Zed because I'm Canadian.

Oh, yeah. But I don't think they liked my Canadianness. They're like, what is Zed? I'm so all over the map with my topics right now, but when did you ever think, like, remember reality Steve? Oh, I just gave Reality Steve a shout out. Sup steven Sub-s-up Stephen Remember when he

said about me He was like That chick That chick is so out there There's no way She would be the Bachelorette I was like Y'all wrong

And he thought I picked nobody Yes And that's enough Reality Steve time But I'm trying to stay away From the spoilers this season Because I really do want to Like follow along

And Someone's gonna ruin it for you Someone's gonna leave it In a comment on something someone's going to this podcast I'm going to say this person wins it's hard when you try to avoid it because someone will just ruin it for you anyway but I always read the spoilers guilty guilty I was a Rick guilty right thing guilty um that's a perfect Rick word guilty oh yeah guilty oh my gosh um I want I want to get to the questions I'm so excited

okay let's do this should we here let's have a little sippy let's do it cheers off um off my because no one needs to hear us swallowing. Oh, my gosh. Because misophonia. There you go. Thanks. I'm going to move away from the microphone. I'll do this while you drink, so nobody hears the noise.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Like I wonder, I still heard it. I wonder if people listen to this and be like, they're not funny and we just think we're hilarious. They're not listening anymore.

Bailey's laughing. Is it because I told you to laugh? A little bit. She doesn't know how to answer that Because she doesn't want to tell the truth The hesitation said it all, okay? Thanks, thank you This is great, okay

She's just saying that You're cute when you lie You're so cute Okay, let's get to questions Because I think it's hilarious hilarious Did you hear who I'm having on the next podcast? Yes, my heroes

Spencer and Heidi And I'm bitey Here's a little, are you jealous? Oh, really? Here's my little disclaimer. I have never watched the Hills. Oh, really? I've never watched an episode of the Hills.

So you don't have any questions related to the Hills. I just, I have questions about like reality TV. I want to know about editing. That wasn't reality TV though. They pretended it was. So, okay. So it wasn't real? Well, at the end, they made it seem like it was all scripted.

I remember that happening. But Kay, do you think I look like Heidi a little bit? Yeah, a little bit. Because when that was the height of the hills, Yeah. Everywhere I went, people went, oh my gosh, do you know who you look like? Heidi Montague from the house. I can kind of see that. And I was like, well, thank you. Do you follow them on Snapchat? Oh, yeah. Yes, they're like the only celebrities I follow. Yeah. Well, they're hilarious. Yeah, they're pretty funny. The amount of like time and passion Spencer puts into his Snapchats is like you have to watch them just to like give him that.

Yeah. Because they're so good. Yeah, he's the Snapchat king. Sorry to you. You're like second place. But I'm queen. Yeah, okay. You're right. We're actually, Spencer or Rick? Oh. Rique. Yes.

Really? Promise. Okay. Rick makes me like kill myself laughing. Sometimes I have to like do the pretty filter after I do Rick just because I'm like, don't, I don't want to feel that gross. Gross. Well, I feel like. Yeah, I get it.

You know what I mean? Because you start to believe you are him. Look at your cute little baby over in the. corner just hanging out having a nice snooze how old is he two weeks um by the time this comes out he'll be three weeks oh my god he's growing up so fast it does go by fast i know oh i know that from my first child this isn't the child i had when you were on the bachelor by the way this is the second baby three weeks i think they figured that out um but with the spencer and hidey i want to ask so many questions like i wonder if he really was a villain or if it was edited that way or

if they like oh he i think he wanted to be the villain it made him happy oh okay see that's great i don't know i'm not going to speak for him and i don't really know him i've so many questions about that but like i don't know if he cares so much or doesn't care at all like does he give zero fs or does he give a lot of fs that's an interesting question i'd like to know i want to he seems like he doesn't but you never know what's deep inside someone yeah and then i'm like but he talks about like oh if i was still this famous and i'm like does he want to be or is he laughing at it. Can you ask him to do his British voice that he does when he talks about the Royals? That's the best part of his Snapchat. If you guys don't follow Spencer on Snapchat,

what are you even doing with your life? You are wasting your time. Wasting your time. He's the production value, like the hummingbirds and Alan and everything he puts into it, like the music behind it, the beaches. He's committed. He's so good that I feel like Snapchat Chet should pay him and me. Yeah, and me too. Yeah, for sure. But I'm so excited to have them on next time. Hold on one second.

We're just going to take a quick break, but stay tuned for more. Hey, it's John Horn here. I'm the host of the new podcast that you need to subscribe to right now. It's called Geffen Playhouse Unscripted. And every week I chat about the creative process with stars who have roots and ties to theater. Who so far would you ask? Well, let me tell you. We have Rain Wilson, Neil Patrick Harris, Josh Gad, Dana Delaney, Brian Cranston, David Copperfield, Matt Walsh,

and so many more yet to come. It's called Geffen Playhouse Unscripted with me, John Horn. You can download it on the Podcast One app, or you can subscribe now on iTunes or at Podcast1.com. This is Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. I feel like we need to get something dirty out on this podcast. Like something's going to make people be like... Ask the questions.

Let's see if there's any dirty questions. Oh, speaking of dirty, remember when I rolled up here and the valet thought I was a hooker? How have we not talked about it? that yet oh my gosh yeah tell the story you could you drove here and you went to valet yeah because i have my baby in the back seat and the stroller and i just wanted to not have to park my car and haul that all out i wanted someone to park my car for me so i roll up and i i know i'm meeting you here at this hotel so i said uh hey do you do valet and he goes well are you a guest to the hotel are you coming here

for a meeting are you having lunch i was like yeah i'm coming for a meeting and then he goes uh uh oh he said something like what boardroom are you in or something and i'm like i don't i don't know i'm like i'm just meeting my friend and he goes oh that kind of meeting and did a little like a little headbought and he put his elbows down on my window and sort of like leaned in like gave me this creepy look and i'm like he 100 p thinks i'm a hooker and i'm like i'm meeting my best friend my baby's in the back he's oh oh sorry but you should be sorry you don't even look like a hooker well thank you i this is never happened to me before and if you were you look like a very classy like pretty one well thanks i don't i just that's uh it's just the first i can't get over it i mean yeah and like again

girls got to eat so good for hookers but like and even if i was a hooker yeah why are you going like oh look and yeah are you trying to get a piece yeah oh that was what a creep i'm gonna i'm gonna complain i should get my valet parking for free or we should leave the hotel holding hands and give him a wink and then you should say best i ever had no i'm going to say i've had better yes and i'm bringing my baby along just just to watch working mom working mom hashtag girls got to eat okay so there's some really funny questions but i feel like don't be worried about embarrassing me okay well i am an open book and that's what I'm going to call my next book next book like I already haven't

that could have been your podcast name too late I'm an open podcast nope that didn't land I said it out loud but I really wish I didn't I immediately regret saying that and I'm just going to have a sip of my one but what oh what should we call this segment kicking it with Caitlin yes kicking it with Caitlin or what would Caitlin do this I'm trying to build my podcast and you know I'm trying to get some structure here so I need some feedback. WWKD or kicking it with Caitlin? Well, you could have another kick in it with Caitlin just for something else.

What? I don't know. Build another segment around that name. Okay, so right now we're going to do kicking it with Caitlin because we're going to ask you questions that you're going to, I mean, you can answer so honestly and you won't embarrass me. I'm scared, but let's do it. Don't be. Like I'm saying, like I think it's funnier if you tell the truth. Okay, okay. we were saying earlier like we can't talk about some some of our stories are just non-repeatable

the people we've told some of our worst stories to it when we don't even laugh when we look at their face after they look at us with such disgust and horror yeah i have a couple ex-boyfriends who didn't want me to be friends with you after we told them those stories actually i think all of your ex-boyfriends didn't want you to be friends with me only my husband is the only person who like gets right in there and laughs at our stories yeah and sean yes that's how we know it's meant to be yeah all of our last boyfriends didn't like us together they were like can you stop hanging out with kately well now you're like a put-together mom and i'm still a degenerate degenerate i'm still an ellen degenerate no no yeah i am say i am i looked at you like no i am

she is anyways i am 31 years old here we go um so kicking it with katelyn okay is that what we're doing Okay, fine. Okay, fine. Okay, so here's one. Jolene C. said, in your last podcast, Sean said you guys were party animals. What can your friend tell us about that? What can't I tell you about that? Like, I don't know how much I can say about you, but.

We used to go out to the bar like three times a week. Don't tell them that. No, but I mean, like, we got into a lot of shenanigans. A lot of shenanigans. And we would go to this one lady's night. at, what was it, the standard? Oh, we'd go at 8 p.m. when the bar would open because the drinks were back then a dollar. So we would, we would, you're only allowed to get two at a time.

So we both go up and get two drinks, doubles. Sometimes, remember when we used to ask for triples? They're like, we can't legally do that. Yeah, legally we can't. And we're like, ah. So we would get doubles. Take our two drinks, go back to a table and set them on a table because no one was there. We didn't have to worry about anyone drugging it because no one was there yet.

And then we'd go right back up to the bar and order more. And then we would have a full table of drinks and we would drink those drinks all nights because we're so cheap. We're like, we are not paying more than a dollar for our drinks. Yeah. Ladies' night. Okay, I can tell one story. Okay.

This was after a night of partying. Oh, boy. What did I do? No, we did this. Oh, Tim Hortons? No. Oh, there's one. Yeah, that's one.

Okay. Okay, we can tell them both. we went back to your mom's condo which i have the best memories of because we'd always crash there the best back to your mom's condo and we thought it would be funny to call everyone we knew and pretend we were in jail pretend that we got arrested for public intoxication because we just wanted to know who really cared about us but we also didn't think anyone would believe us and so we called everyone at like four in the morning please get us out of jail and just laugh so hard we thought it was so funny out wake up the next day both of our mailbox are full

yeah miss calls everyone's freaking out thinking we're in jail because i was dating this guy who um actually started calling around all the jails in the area to find out which one we were at And we thought it was so clever. Yeah, and everyone was so worried about us. And then we were almost too embarrassed to tell them, like, we made it up. Yeah, we just pretended it never happened. What's worse? Being in jail or people knowing that we made it up.

And we woke up. We were both on the couch and the water was running in the bathroom. They're like, someone left the tap. We're like, wait, why's the tap running? That, oh my gosh, why did we think that was a good idea? I don't know, but clearing the record now, we weren't in jail. Or, and because we were so against drinking and driving, we would sleep in my car and parking lots of bars. Yeah, which is also illegal.

We didn't know that. If you're found in your car with the keys in the ignition, which we always turned around because it was cold. It was winter. It's Canada. And then they find you drunk in your car. They can still, they be like, you intended to drive. Oh, my gosh. And my sweet dad would always be like, Caitlin, we'll pick you up.

And I'd be like, no, we're sleeping in the car. Because neither one of us wanted to stay sober to be the sober driver. So we were like, well, we'll both drink and then we'll just sleep in the car. Well, all I can say about that is that at least, at least we didn't drive. Oh, yeah. Like, so I feel like that's good that we were responsible and like. But we were also so stupid. Like, who does that?

And we would, okay, this is so bad. But like, you said you weren't going to be embarrassed. I'm not. I'm just more concerned about saying this about you. Oh, my God. What? I can be embarrassed. We ordered hot dogs.

The man, the hot dog man outside of the bar, knew us. He knew our orders. New our order. And at the end of every hot dog order, I would just want a tiny bit of mustard. And every time I'd say it like this, a little bit of mustard. I still did this date. Anytime I put mustard on anything, I'd say, a little bit a mustard. Yep, me too.

Anytime. I can't put mustard on anything without saying that. And that's what I used to say to this hot dog man. And he loved it. Oh, he would be like, he'd wait for my, yeah, he'd wait for a little bit. Yeah. He would actually just wait, hit, and he'd be like, and. Yeah.

And then withhold the hot dog. So not only did hot dog man know our order and like our quotes. He knew like everything about us. We would then take our hot dogs and lay on the side. Sorry, I had to go there. We didn't lay. Yes, we did. We did once, we posed for a picture and thought it was funny.

Oh. I thought we just were taking a quick five. We would sit on the sidewalk. Like, we were gross. We were gross. So gross. And I would wear these little dresses and thought I was just so cool and hot. This is why, okay, where we grew up, the legal drinking age was 18.

This is why it should not be 18. Because you make decisions like this. But it really prepped my liver for the day, for the day that I got a podcast and, you know yeah it was great practice it was training for me lifelong i've trained my whole life for this yep this is my moment yes seriously i'm you know i i worked hard and here i am it's all thanks to uh a little bit um mustard hashtag street meat okay what's next oh does there any more stories probably oh my there's so many we talked about some we talked about some before the podcast started and i was like yeah we can't can't say that can't say it can't say that

I want to. Should we tell the Tim Horton's one? What? Oh, we, so we went to Tim Hortons. We had a D-D. Yeah. It was the guy that I was hanging out with. Yeah.

Seanavision, we called him. His name was Sean. Yeah, we called him. But it was with a you. Yeah. Sean. Yeah. And he drove us to Tim Hortons.

And we called Sean Ovision, because John Ovision, who we love. Yeah, but this, he's Canadian. Nobody knows who that is. Well, the Canadians will know. Yeah. The Canadians will know. were like over 25 or 30 will know none of the millennials will know no um we go to tim hortons which for all you americans it's like a dunkin donuts and we ordered sandwiches and brie fell and knocked her

head on the ground and i was like and i was like holding her on the ground like rocking her on the floor of tim hortons with your little noodle arms with my noodle arms and the ladies like served us and then they got my license plate number not knowing we had a dd They thought that we drove home. And they called the police. And my poor dad, I mean, the cars registered under his name. Yeah. Got this phone call.

From the police. Hi, this is Sergeant Blah, blah. There's been an incident with your daughter at three in the morning. And, yeah, it's a scary call to get. And my dad is like. The sweetest gem of all time. Of all, like, he. The most beautiful man.

He is the most beautiful man in every way. Like, he is an angel sent to us from heaven. Mm-hmm. And he's just such a good human. bean and for him to get that call kills me but and it was so annoying because we were like we didn't drive yeah because we didn't drive we just wanted sandwiches and then and then we went home we just wanted sandwiches and then we went home and all the time we made drunk videos on oh my god which if i wish we could find those we would just sit in front of a webcam and like sing Beyonce and like

Jake one and then we would and juvenile and we wouldn't really remember them gosh people are going to listen to this and be like okay we get it you party yeah okay we get it you party yeah Okay, next question. No, but we would get so excited to watch the videos the next day because we'd be like, what did we do? Oh my gosh. Okay, next question. So you guys get a party to go. And that's not even the most embarrassing part.

Yeah, those are like the G ones, rated G. Hi, my name's Caitlin and I like to party. Okay. See, the next question was what was the craziest thing you and Caitlin ever did? I think we just went there. Yep. Um, tell it, someone said tell us about your prom.

I'm like, we're Canadian. We didn't have a prom. Like, they legit have prom king and queen in the States. I thought that was only in the movies. This is my question. They have proms for like every grade they're in, right? Like, we just have a grad when we graduate.

But they do prom like grade 10, 11, 12 and stuff, right? I don't know. I'm Canadian. Ask Sean. Well, because I always see movies where they're like junior prom. And I know that. It's not your senior prom. Right.

Yeah. It's confusing. And I thought that was only just like on American TV shows. Yeah, me too. Oh, I like this one. Marie R.N. Oh, she's a nurse. Oh, Nurse Marie.

Want to know who you were rooting for when I was the Bachelorette and what you thought who I was going to pick like night one. But I knew. Oh, yeah. I knew that you picked Sean. Okay, who did you like from my season? Um, Sean. Yeah, well, duh.

Um, I like Cupcake. Yeah. But, like, I knew that you wouldn't have picked him. No. Um, yeah, the Ben's were cool. You had the, and Jared, you guys, you had a great cast. I do feel like I had really nice guys. You was like one of the best casts ever.

I think so, too. And I don't know if it's just because we're biased, but I'm like, I feel like. Oh, and of course, Ryan McDill. Well, he is everybody's hero. Yeah, everyone's favorite. Oh, I should have him on the podcast. You should. Okay, I'm going to.

Ryan, do you listen to me? Be on the podcast. Be on my podcast. We need answers. I have so many questions. Remember, I was like, when you and John get married, are you going to, like, invite Ryan McDill? And then I'm like, oh, wait, we're just going to stay engaged forever.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I guess, okay, I do feel like I had a good group of guys, so. Yeah. I keep forgetting you, obviously, you know. Somebody else asked if I told you when I came off the show who I picked, which I did. Yeah. And then everyone's like, she picks no one. And then I'm like, oh, yeah.

well I'll show you and then I accidentally snapchatted which did I talk about this in the last podcast I that was such an honest mistake and I know and you called me crying I called I was freaking out because I didn't know what to do and I think I think people thought I did it on purpose because no that's just so something you would do and you send me and a few select people snaps of you and Sean and I'm like be careful do not send that to your story and you did and I did I didn't get Snapchat back then. Okay, what else? I should have written these out.

I was like, I'll just read them from, I took screenshots. It's fine. Oh, oh, why did Bree think you should go on the show? What kind of guys did you date in the past? What kind of guys do you think I dated in the past? A couple of hockey players. Yeah. You've dated so many different guys.

No, I mean, different types of guys. Not like so many guys. Well, I feel like my first boyfriend, Ryan Butter, who is just like straight LaDuc kind of guy. Yeah. And he... Which no one knows what that means unless they're from La Ducke. So he, I feel like he was my, he was like my high school sweetheart.

Yeah. And we dated for like four years off and on. Yeah. And he was such, he was like really smart, but he partied. And he was like this like athlete in school. and then now he's a tattoo artist and he did the birds on my arms. Yeah, he's an artist. So you've dated an artist.

You also dated a ballet dancer. I did. Yeah, so you don't have a type. She does not have a type. Yeah, so Ryan was like high school sweetheart, athlete turned tattoo artist, still a friend. Yeah. Like if I saw him out, I'd be like, oh my gosh, Ryan. Yeah.

We still have mutual friends. Great guy. Then Kai, Kai was the ballet dancer. best dancer I've ever met in my life. Yeah, you were more like a fan of Kai. I was like hanging out with him and I'd be like, no, can we just go in the studio? Can you just do a lift with me?

Yeah, but they've all been nice. Yeah. I don't feel like I ever, like, dated, like, the bad guy. No, I think I've liked all your boyfriends. Yeah. But why did I think you should go on the show? Yeah. Because it was the longest you'd stayed single.

I'm like, let's do this. Also, you were single for like a minute in, like, I don't know, 2010 or 11, and I wanted to get you on the bachelor back then. Oh. Remember I said, like, I'm going to go to the website and see? What, like Ben Flanjic season? You would have been on Ben Flagenic season. Did you know I had a dream once?

Like, when I was, when his season was airing, I had a dream that I was on the show. Well, because it was supposed to happen, just not with him. Anyway, he, or not he, too much wine. I went to the website and I. You hooker. I went to the website and it was like, if you're serious, you'll make a video. And I was like, how do you make a video?

Back then we had Blackberries, not iPhones, and I didn't know how to do that. So I just submitted photos of you and they don't take you seriously if you do that, I don't think. So then that's why when we really wanted to get you on a few years ago, that's why I was like, we have to make a video. Yeah, I feel like it was the best time that I could have done that. Like, I feel like in my life, if you, if it would, if you would have gone right away with Juan

Pablo. That would have been terrible. Yeah. Everything happens with like, like, the perfect timing. Perfect. So perfect. I feel like I was like the most confident I'd ever been. I feel like I had been through stuff.

Yeah. I felt like I learned from stuff. I felt like I was ready. You were. Everything in my life, just the timing worked out so well for me. Ladies, don't apply for this show fragile. Yeah, don't do it. Or you will be crying a lot.

You will be Ryan McDill. He was just drinking your night away. You're lucky you weren't Ryan McHill. I thought I would be. I thought you might be too. Now everyone hears my party stories. They're like, you are Ryan McTill. Okay.

Do you remember this girl, Dana, I cannot say her last name. Gjurich. I tried. Do I remember her? No, do you remember? She wants to know what I was like as like a seven-year-old when I moved in across the street. Oh, you were too cool for me. But was I still, she said, was she as hilarious and awesome as she is now?

I don't know. I don't know because we were in competition with each other. Yeah, at first, our friendship was like, you were my neighbor and we had a mutual best friend. Yeah. And so we were both kind of jealous because she was like the main friend. Yeah, she was always in the middle. And she would tell me, because you were friends with her first. So she'd say, Caitlin's my first best friend and you're my second best friend.

And so I was always trying to like knock you down for the top spot. And you did. I did for a while. Eventually. But you would live across the street and we'd be on like... But then, but we all became three best friends. Yes, we did. We have matching tattoos for that.

Yes. And so we were all on like MSN chat, which is like AOL chat. Oh, MSN Messenger was the best. The best. Those were the simple days of social media. You know what? It was. I wish.

I wish. But we would, I'd be like when my garage door opens if you want to ride to school, I guess you can come. I'd be like, just come. No, but why did you reach out to me? Because clearly I thought there was something there Between us

Deep down wanted to be friends I did And then I was like so excited That you were gonna drive me to school Yeah And so then I was trying to act cool Like yeah okay And then I got up early

And I got up early and got ready for school And then waited by the window To see your garage door open And then I was like Bye mom and dad Like ran to the door And then But then I had to like coolly walk across the street

And be like Hey I'm here from my room Right. But that was when I was like 16. Do you remember what I was even like at seven when I moved in? You had a nice front lawn. Very aesthetically pleasing lawn. I appreciated it. Okay. So no, you don't. I thought you were cool because you were a year older than me. So you were a grade older than me. So I just thought you were like cool. And also my best friends, other best friends. So I was like, dang, how do I compete with that? okay that's fair enough um and oh we can't do this this guy wants to know what my most embarrassing story is made i think i already said it but the sad thing is you didn't

the sad thing is you really didn't probably not um what did you think about chris soles and the idea of me moving to iowa to live on a farm k t wants to know well k t um you knew I liked grassy fields. First of all, you could have done it because Caitlin lived in Germany, where she didn't speak German. Is that your German accent? I don't know. That was awful.

Sorry, Germany. She didn't speak German. You've lived in Newfoundland. You've moved for love before. You did it again. I mean, Nashville is a pretty sweet place to live. Yeah, I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at it.

And I grew up in Ladook. You grew up in Ladook. How do you even explain it? Remember when Jimmy Kimmel asked you like, hey, could you live on a farm? And you're like, yeah, I know farmers. Did I say that? It's something like, do you really? And you're like, yep.

But you know what's funny is I actually always dreamed of living on a farm. Yeah. I did. You could have done it, but you would have been bored, A.F. Yeah. You would have been dying to see your family and friends more because you would have been trapped there, for sure. Yeah, I would have felt like isolated. But you, yeah, you could have done it.

I could have done it. Did I want you to go live on a farm? No. No, probably not. But I do feel like if he was the right person, I could have. Yeah, you would have done it if he was the right guy. I just put my phone down. But he dumped you.

He dumped me. Can we talk about that for a second? Okay. I was shocked. Yeah, you were. I had never been more confident about anything in my life than going into that rose ceremony. That's when it gets you. And I said to the producers who clearly knew I was going home,

Yeah, they lied to you. Well, they had to you. That's their job. And there's a special little place in hell for reality TV producers who I still love, but they know it. They know it. It's their job and they're good at it. Yeah.

Because they pump you up and make you feel like you're going to stay, right? And they have to eat. Guys got to eat. Ashnik, girls got to eat. Why is that such a thing? I don't know. You're just really into that. But I was drinking wine.

I'm like in that crazy weird, like, Indonesian outfit. You looked so cute, though. Yeah, it wasn't weird. It was actually really, it was really, like, traditional, which is cool. But I was like, ha, imagine he sends me home in this outfit. This is not my exit dress. And I go in. And then we're all, so it's me, Whitney, and Becca, and we're standing there.

Hi, baby. Baby's awake. Oh, Finn wanted to chime in. Let me just check on him for one second. Go ahead. I will. He's good. He just had a little, a little.

He was just saying hi to the people. A little baby. flail a little moment yeah have your moment vin he just wanted to be on the podcast that's okay oh i don't know maybe he is like oh he's still such a grunter that's okay he can you're part of this we'll look back on this one and be like remember when he chimed in on the podcast he's just getting comfy um so it was me Whitney and becca and chris comes in and I'm like happier than ever I'm I'm thinking no problem yeah and so wait so who did you think it would be you and Whitney or you and Becca I didn't know.

Oh, you just knew, like, as between them. Yeah. Or you thought you do. I think I thought it was me and Whitney. And so then Becca takes them for a little chat. And I'm like, I looked at Whitney. I was like, you know, she's going to be the bachelorette and good for her. And like, I wish her well.

And then she came back and I was like, huh? And then I was like, wait, what? And then you could see it in your face. It all started like making sense to me. And I was like, oh my gosh. And then I had a moment where I was like, I am on the bachelor. And Chris Harrison just put his hand. together like he does and said, I'm sorry, Caitlin, please say your goodbyes.

And I was like, is this a dream? And I was just so confused because I was so cocky going into the rose ceremony. But I was secretly happy because I didn't want your heart to be broken, but I was like, yes, she's going to be the bachelor. And then I was like, that's all I ever wanted for you. It was just so crazy because everything you predicted happened. Yeah, I'm only psychic about you. And do we have, oh, Jennifer Grimes wants to know if we have nicknames for each other.

We call each other poo. Just P-O-O. No age. Not poop. Sometimes we take it a little far. We're like poopsie-whoops it? My little poop-o. Or we just do a poop-moji.

Yeah, but what's, I don't know why. That's, um. Because we're really mature. Because we're gross. We actually do have intelligent conversation once in a while. We just don't tell you about that part because it's boring. No. Should I get serious for a second?

Sure. Aw. Um, well, because like, like, I, Did I say this on the air before? What? About how you cried more at my wedding than I did. Yeah, you think you said it on air. Yeah.

No, I'm very, I'm like an undercover softy. You are. And like, the hardest times I've ever been through in my life, you've been there for me. You know how when bad things happen? Yeah. And you kind of find out who your true friends are. I never have to worry about you. You're always there for me.

You always, you're going to make me cry. Yeah, like any time, like my dad passed away when I was 21. And every time it's his birthday or the day he died, like, you're always the first person to send me. message every single year. She sends me flowers on my birthday. Yeah. Well, thank God it lands on a mother's day too. So I can like kill two birds of one stone. I can get money. I can get two birds stoned at once. That's what my saying said. Did Peter Griffin say that? No trailer park boys. Well, jokes to her. Anyway, you've just you've been there for me through like the best and my worst times and we really are. And right back at you. People always ask probably one of those questions

would it like to be best friends with Caitlin? Because everyone, all they ever say is, I'm want to be your best friend and I'm like she really is the best friend but I don't want you to know that she's my best friend and we always said since we were little that we were lifers not since we were little by little I mean like 17 yeah we call each other lifer that's our other nickname yeah lifer because you're my bestie for life for life for life and in dance competitions when we used to get so fired up at our moms because they were like you need this rhinestone on this in this hair my mom didn't care right I mean She loved to just watch me dance, but she didn't care if I did it wrong.

Oh, and we would tap each other, or tap our noses and say tap-a to, like, calm each other down. Yeah, tap-a. Gosh, we're cute. We're so cute. Okay, this is the last question. Are you surprised, this is from McKenzie Hines, are you surprised by anything that Caitlin did on the bachelor or during her season as a bachelorette? Like when I went skinny dipping? No, I wasn't surprised by that.

That wasn't a big deal. I'm often shocked by people who. get so offended about stuff like that um did you shock me at all maybe with how like when you acted like you were like right in there with farmers that might have been the only shocking moment i was like she's lying i'm like yeah i know so many farmers of dated farmers that's what i said oh yeah i'm like no she well you had like donnie no Dallas lions was he a farmer oh i don't think so And did you even date?

No, he just drove a truck. Did you even date? Yeah, Dallas. Hi, Dallas. Okay, so I feel like that was the last one anyways, wasn't it my last question? Did you have fun today? I did. I don't want it to end.

We can just keep talking off my, or we can just keep doing this and not make people listen to it. Right, we can actually just hang out. We can just be friends. We can keep doing this. You're not like an actual guest. I'm not leaving right away. Okay, fine. Well, that's it for today.

We can go finish our mimosa and rosé, our breakfast drinks. Thank you for being on my podcast. I'm so glad I can do this. Because we always wanted to do a podcast together, but life happens. Yeah, it's hard when you don't live in the same city. It is. So if you don't want to miss an episode of Off the Vine, you can go to podcast.1.com, download the podcast one app or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

And make sure to leave a rating. I said that last time I'm like, but don't, if it's bad. Yeah, don't. Actually, I'm okay with constructive criticism. Okay. Maybe just tweet it to you. I'm Caitlin Bristow, and I will see you next Tuesday. Get it?

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Download or listen to new episodes every Tuesday on the Podcast One app or subscribe on Apple Podcasts or at Podcast.com. And don't forget to rate, review, and share. Hey, everybody, I'm Heather Dubrow. And I'm Dr. Terry Debrough. Every Friday, check out my podcast, Heather Dubrow's World. We also have the Doctor and Mrs. Guinea Pig Show every two.

So don't forget iTunes and podcast one. Tune in to Dr. Mrs. Gini Pig on Tuesdays and Heather DuBrow's World every Friday.