Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Kathy Swarts & Nancy Hulkhower | Golden Gossip: Love, Loss, and Life Beyond The Golden Bachelor!

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

#775. Kaitlyn Bristowe is joined by Golden Bachelor fan-favorites Nancy Hulkhower and Kathy Swarts for a fun, heartfelt, and eye-opening conversation about life, love, and everything in between. They open up about navigating relationships, dealing with loss, and the profound friendships formed on the show. Nancy and Kathy share their wisdom on dating in later years, offer valuable advice for finding love again, and reflect on their experiences with Gary, the show's leading man. From heartwarming reflections on past loves to their take on being compared to celebrities, this episode is packed with laughter, tears, and golden wisdom. Tune in for the inside scoop on life after The Golden Bachelor and why there's still so much more to come.If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Range Rover: Explore the Range Rover Evoque at LandRoverUSA.com LMNT: Get a free LMNT Sample Pack that includes 8 flavors with any purchase at DrinkLMNT.com/OFFTHEVINE Macy’s: Head over to Macys.com to get in on the VIP Sale that is running from September 26th to October 7th! EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario i'm katelym bristow your session is now starting hey everybody welcome to off the vine i'm your host katelymbristow i don't even want to do an intro for this one because all you need to know is it was one of my favorite interviews in the last seven years I laughed I almost cried I was moved I was inspired and I could have talked to them for five hours so enjoy my conversation with Kathy and Nancy from the Golden Bachelor we're recording

I didn't know we started I am available here is my phone number no I'm available and for I'm I need to say that first you let me talk first go I'm gonna be quiet now Nancy's available yeah my phone number You can locate me on your DM me, right? Oh my gosh. Slide into your DMs. Wait, I'm so into this. Okay, so your DMs are open and available and you want someone to slide. Sure.

Okay. Happy to. Would you ever get on a dating app? I have before. Okay. What app? And it didn't, I was on match one time. Yeah.

I was on Bumble twice. Okay. And I met people, met men. And you know what? Not good for me. It was not good for me. Okay. Fair enough.

You could have just stopped with not good. You don't have to say for me. Just bad. Not good, period. You would think that men would get better with age. Do they not? How hard do you want me to shake my head, no? That's so interesting.

Do you want to know the truth? Yes. A great marriage. You know, like normal ups and downs and whatever, but overall, a great. For all, a great marriage, three great kids. And at one point, I thought, you know, I'm still looking for Mark. Oh. You know that?

And then I realized, you know what? There isn't one. Clearly not. And now I don't compare and I don't. And yeah, no, I'm really ready. Wow. Okay. And then it's true.

Like Kathy said, you say to people, oh my gosh, let me know if you have any friends. Yeah. And Katie Couric, we have a connection. But anyway, she said, yeah, I'll tell you. But she said it took her 16 years to meet Molner. That's her now husband. I'll be dead. But it made me feel better because it's been 13 years since my husband died. And I saw her a couple years ago. And she goes, Nancy, come on. Are you really? You haven't found it? And I said, Katie, I don't know what it is. I just want one boyfriend. I don't want a lot. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I don't want a lot. I'm not. I want to be a serial dater. Yeah. I'm a really good person. You know, I really just want a partner. I would get married again if it's the right person, blah, all this stuff here.

And she goes, this is what you do. I thought this was brilliant. That's what I always do. Keep going. She said, you go tell everybody you know. Same thing. Hi, do you know any friends? You know, don't forget me.

Really? Of course, with her, she's Katie Kirk. And she wouldn't mind me saying this because she has also published this. in People magazine. And she said, but then I thought, and she dated a lot of people, she just couldn't find a guy, even her. Yeah. Yeah. And so she started telling people she really didn't know, like the lady at the grocery store, who always checked her out. Oh, interesting. Uh-huh. And she took it totally, and she said, I was, I was on a mission. Yeah. She said, I thought, what is wrong? And there's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong. You know,

she said, but you start to feel like that. Yeah. But it's a. And people look at you like, you're still a single? What's wrong with you? And it's not. So then she said and that, so she told, um, a woman who was subbing at her gym for spin class. And everybody knew who she was. And she went up to the girl who was a sub and said, hi, I am Katie and I would like to, you know, I really want to date somebody and please keep me in mind.

Wow. That day that girl said, oh my. gosh, you need to meet my cousin's friend who's an investment banker and da-da-da, he's been divorced, he's got three kids, blah, blah, blah, blah. They got married a year later. And she said, had I not done that. I love that. So it's a really good lesson, I think.

Like even when you tell random people, you're putting it out there. Even people you don't know. Yeah. Don't forget me because all the people you do know, and I'm sure, Kathy, you've done this too for a while. They haven't delivered. They're like, oh, I've got a lot of friends. Ooh, you wouldn't want that.

So you know what I get is when I say that because I literally took that from Nancy's told me that story before. Yeah. And so I do. I, of course, have I ever met a stranger? No. And so I tell everyone, you know, but it's kind of my schick now. Yeah.

People write on my Instagram page, you're just so desperate. Oh, Lord. No, I'm really not. Well, people are going to say them. I'm really not. People call you desperate. Wait, I love this idea because I'm big on if you want something, you've got to put it out into the universe. And if you say it out loud, it happens.

And you never know who you're saying it to and what connection they could have to something that's going to literally change your life. And you don't know when it's going to happen. It could be tomorrow. It could be in two years. You don't know until you put it out there. Well, I put Colin Firth out there. Right when I went on the show, I did put it out there. I told Brett, I told Marina knows, and he hasn't come to find me, but it's still put out there.

That's all. I just got cork in my mouth. Jeez, Louise. Well, we're still putting it out there. Thank you. Can I just say, I mean, do you have a lot of girlfriends? I do. So, like, Nancy and Susan, like, we've traveled together.

We've already just planned our next trip to St. Martin. Like, that to me is so much fun. I don't have to listen to them whine or complain or ask them what time, dinner. Like, that can be tough. They are tough. I actually, in my experience, I mean, I like to say only 38, but I always even. We're twins. Even you and I?

Yeah. Do you know that the producers have told me this about you? That I am you. What? Yes. Peter Geist, I think, was the one that said, you are Kathy. Kathy is you. Oh.

that is about the nicest compliment I've ever seen. I mean, can I just tell you the dress you have on? Oh, it's a lot. Oh, I could wear the lacing as long. There would be fat hanging out at each at each hall.

Other than that, we're twins. First of all, I did not want to wear this podcasting all day. I just didn't have time to change. It's a fabulous dress. Well, thank you. I've now been seen in it at Chris Harrison's wedding at another party and now three podcasts today. Do you know that Chris Harrison and his wife live about

five minutes for me what oh you need to be friends with them they're amazing they brought me home from the airport from something we're sitting in they so no they did oh amazing yeah they brought me home that's i know exactly where they live yeah they're amazing nice people um i have to say because we were just saying um about girlfriends yeah uh i had a woman on my podcast who has done a lot of studies around women who live the longest and it's women who surround themselves with other women and community and like have a village i believe it yeah i believe it isn't that interesting people are like, stop drinking or don't eat this and this for your health. Stop drinking?

I will never. Cheers to that. I'm like, red wine is good for you, community, having, like, empowered women around you. And they honestly say that's what it is. I'm telling you, Caitlin, people always ask me, and I'm sure Nancy, you hear it too. What did you take away from the show? How is your life change? The friendships that I walked away with that from the show.

I mean, it was apparent. It's worth everything about the show. Did that happen on your show? Honestly, yes and no. It was we, like I'm still very close with like four or five girls from my season. There were a few, of course, that were definitely catty and mean. And, you know, some of us, I was 29 at the time. And a lot of girls were like very young.

So yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't what you all had. It was different. Like we bonded, but there was still a lot of. of insecurities and like, you know, it just wasn't the same. Yeah. Do you think some of the women on our show had insecurities? Absolutely. Of course. It's not, it's not related to age. So what, what is it? Like, why did you all have such a unique experience that you walked away with such good friendships? I think because, I think one, I think one avenue or one way was we were, we had all lost someone and I think I don't know I don't know the numbers but Kathy's

husband passed away yeah yeah my husband passed away and you know if a few had bad divorces one person was never married but I think especially the people who had lost you know had a spouse die yeah I think you know you can sit you can sit here with somebody and if your husband, God forbid, died and mine did, you and I wouldn't even have to talk about it. Yeah.

No. And when somebody's in your boat, that changes everything. I think we felt that as the audience. I feel like we felt that the women of that season had lived. They've been through things. And I think that's why,

even though I told Teresa that zip it, which, you know, if that's the most drama you can come up with, you know, mazzle. Yeah, that's true. But honestly, I think Nancy's right. Yeah. We have all lived. We've had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. And really, yeah.

Drama, no, we are women who have lived a lot of life and we want to support women. Yeah. And are resilient. And we're resilient. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That's a great word. See, I told you she says smart stuff.

Yeah. That is a great word to describe. It's true. We know all of, but all of us. Yeah. Yeah. But you also have no choice. Wait a second.

That's true. That's true. But you and I, we talked about this. Nancy and I have talked. There were several women who went through really ugly divorces. Yeah. Nancy and I both lost our husbands. Yeah.

And we've talked about this, right? We had no marriage is perfect. Right. But some of the women on the show had really ugly situations. Yeah. And we were. So both of us, Nancy just said that earlier. like she's looking for another mark.

I know that I'm not going to find another Daryl. That was my husband's name. And like Nancy, I'm not looking for another Daryl. But I am so grateful that I had such a great guy. If I never find another guy, at least I had him. I'm going to cry. We've talked about that. I am so grateful for the man I had and my three children and my grandchildren.

I am grateful for that. And so if I can find a guy who wants to live and have fun, but if I can't, how lucky was I to have such a great guy? What, and that's the perspective of that only comes with age, life experience. What are you talking about? I'm 39. I know, we're twins. And you know what? I named my daughter after you.

I have two Caitlin's. Yeah. Two Caitlin's? My daughter's Caitlin. Oh, you have two Caitlin as in me being one of them? Yeah. Oh. I was like, that's very honest.

that you would have two daughters and name them both, Caitlin. I've never heard of that before. But that, it really is, you could see that. I think that's why people appreciated this season so much. Like, I've never seen a response to the franchise like this in a very long time. And I think it's, yeah, oh, yes. And I've been a fan of the show since the very beginning. And it's gone through its ups and downs.

And that was like the refresher that the world needed in that franchise because it was something that we hadn't seen before, people were craving more. more maturity and authenticity on the show. I think the world as a collective is craving more authenticity, and nothing is more authentic than a woman who's been through some shit. Yeah. And that's what we got to see. And I will tell you, for me, I don't know about you, Nancy,

when I walk through airports, wherever I am, people come up to me, I'm literally from age 20 to 80 and they say to me, you know, we loved you on the show, we loved your honesty, and you gave me hope again. And I'm telling you, I still get goosebumps because for me to have, it's such a privilege that I can make people's lives better and that they can have hope again. And there's no age limit on that. That's right.

Life is not over. And we still have hope. Yeah. You gave me that personally. I grew up with a mom who is literally the best mom I could ever ask for, but who was very terrified of aging. and I've seen her change over the years of embracing her age and really leaning in and seeing that life is not over and all the things.

She's so feisty, 72. Like, she is about to be 72. She'll kill me if I don't say 71. But, like, I've really seen her in her age lean more into it, which is amazing. But it had me growing up thinking that that's scary, that it's a bad thing. And I've worked on that, obviously, because I've had a best friend who has passed.

I've had experiences that make me go aging as a privilege. But seeing your season made me excited to get older and because it's- Caitlin do not wish your life away. No. That's nice to hear. No, I do. Oh, gosh. And now I really think how exciting that there's still so much more life to go.

And even when you get to the place that you thought when you were in your 20s, 30s, like, oh, I can't imagine. You get there and you go, I still feel. 30 something. And I still, yeah, and you can still do whatever the hell you want to do, but with more confidence. Yeah. But can I take the, wait, one question, then one question. Yeah. The only problem, the only caveat with that is men always want younger women. I mean, look, Nancy's 10 years younger than I. Yeah. So some great guy walks in here, looks at us and says, oh, two pretty ladies. She's prettier, but whatever. No. Which one she's going to choose?

She's going for, he's going for Nancy. That's why my, that's what those are parts of my insecurities and my fears. I've been taught through not just my mom, through media, through television, through magazines, through social media now that, you know, like, oh, you're getting to this age. Well, you're in the world of social media. Your job's going to go away. You won't have this. You can't get this role anymore.

You're not going to host this. Don't believe them. That's the best advice you could ever give me. Don't believe them. Yeah. Prove them wrong. Yeah. And that is my favorite thing to do.

I love proven people wrong, especially men. Yeah. But it's, I'm telling you, I'm like, I wouldn't trade. So yes, they will sometimes choose a younger woman, but I have never been more confident at 38 than I was at 28. That's right. And I would never choose 28 over 38 ever again. So I'm hoping, and this is where your inspiration for me comes from,

is that that just keeps going. You know, there's this fear around it. But every year you probably just get more like, why was I afraid of this? I feel great. and I am great and I also think I remember meeting a man in Indiana I'm from Ben Higgins hometown we have background oh yeah and my parents live there and he had served in Vietnam and he had a caregiver and he was walking past our table and he was having trouble and he came over it was very

strange and he said I said thank you for your service yeah and he was like like 99 and he said you know what my service was nothing he goes i mean it was a lot but he said i've been through hell i'm back i just lost my wife oh oh like six months before and we at the table we're all like oh god but the point was we've all been through hell and back yeah again because you don't have a choice yeah you don't just choose to be resilient you have to because you have children because you have other things going on what are you going to do melt no the only way to get on the other side is through have to go yeah yeah and we did yeah have yeah and you know people we talk about loss right and you know nancy's husband uh was ill how many years nancy three and a half

yeah and you know my husband died by suicide so it was in a moment and yeah nancy you and you and i've talked about this it's not which loss is worse no loss is loss it doesn't matter if it's a divorce, a relationship, a child, a job. Loss sucks. Yes. People don't talk about that. I was just saying that with Kelsey and Joey because Kelsey lost her mom at 20. And we were talking just about how you can grieve who you thought a person was. You can grieve a relationship, a job, like you said, all of those things, and we all do it differently. People who may have an illness yeah grieve the person they were before they were sick I can't imagine that so it's true it's everywhere yeah yeah yeah what do you do with that yeah and people hopefully can get help

yeah talk about it but you're right loss is loss yeah it really like and and people don't know especially how to cope with loss sometimes especially if it's sudden and if if even if you see it coming everyone has different coping skills and to me I'm like I wake up in the middle of the night with the most intrusive thoughts of loss because I've I lost a best friend when I was I was 19 she was 18 and it was like the most tragic thing I've ever gone through in my life and then especially at that age and then I lost a relationship that I thought was the one at like 26 which is so cute now that I look back on it but like and it rocked to me and so as I get older of course I want to think I would deal with things better, but I'm more scared of losing somebody than I ever have been in my life. Okay, but wait, don't you think that you took parts of each loss and has helped you build who you are today? A thousand percent. So as difficult as it is to lose, I am, I am such a different person in some ways. Yeah, from that. And you know yourself better. Yeah. Then you have you. Again, you have to because you don't have a choice. You don't have a choice. Yeah. You have

to look within and go, okay, how am I dealing with this? And you just one foot in front of the other, sometimes it's day by day, sometimes it's hour by hour, a minute by a minute. And loss sometimes I think people feel so isolated. Yeah. It's, it's only ever happened to me. It's only ever happened to two other. It isn't. People have experience loss. Well, and I think that's why people loved the season again so much is because they don't feel so alone. They've, gone through life. It's wonderful. Yeah.

That's what we wanted. You're right. And it was. And it was. That is exactly what it was. I feel like you really did impact a lot of women especially, but like just humans in general. That's so nice to hear.

People asked, you know, the young folks. 59 and below. Yeah. I'm kidding. Yeah. I'm close to that. The young ones will say, you know, oh, I, some of them have said, you know, I wanted to be an influencer.

I was like, a what? Yeah. Like when we came on the show, I didn't know what an influencer was. I didn't have an Instagram. That was another refreshing thing about it is we all knew nobody was there for the Instagram followers to be an influencer. And now you're some of my favorite influencers. But everyone believed it was, and it was, we believed because it was genuine.

It was. You were all finding hope again, love again, your like self again. And we got to watch that. Yeah. And I think, I think also it did make me less. of loss because I was like, look at these women thriving and you've been through so much in your life. And I do. I get very scared to lose people. And I'm, this is, I don't know if I've said this on a podcast yet. This is so funny and cute and embarrassing and sad all at the same time.

I'm literally already seeing a grief counselor because I'm so attached to my dogs that I'm already seen one for when they go because I'll cry right now. Like, I can't handle that. Can I just, can I just lighten this conversation up for one second? You know you can have them cloned. Yes. No, you can. Oh, I've looked all into this. And?

I'm too big of a rescue. I'm a rescue. I can't do it. What do you mean? I'd rather rescue a new one and give that a home than clone the other. And I think I would compare it too much. I could never compare. I'm kidding.

See, Nancy, this is, we love each other. I love the dynamics. I will slap her. Or I'll tell her to be quiet and let me talk. But that's, I love the dynamic. That's, yeah. But I, like, so ramen, I was calling my soul dog. And I couldn't clone him because he wouldn't be ramen.

What kind of dog is he? Golden Retriever. They are the best. The best. Get cats. They live forever. I do want a cat. I would love a cat.

I have two. I'll send them to you. No, I'll send them to you. They're free. Literally. They're so sweet. They're geriatric cats. They love me.

I love a geriatric cat. Oh, my God. What is your address? They're coming to you. Please send them my way. I truly want a cat so bad. No, my cats. People who hate cats love my cats. Why do you get rid of them? I don't want to get rid of them. I want to be able to go. Can I tell how expensive it is to have cat sitters? Oh, I know, because I travel all the time and I have dog sitters all the time. I have two beautiful dog sitters who love my dogs. I like to think the way that I

love them and they come to the house. But yes, it's so expensive. Okay, so I have to tell you, I, my neighbor, and then my neighbor lives two doors down. Yeah. She is a cancer survivor just had her last cancer treatment. She's like 42. Yeah. She is the most lovely person. Wow. By the way, she watched the show during her cancer treatments. She's, she's amazing. Oh, I think I remember. Did you talk about? Yes. Yes. Yes. I remember. She just had her last radiation treatment. She's cancer free. Yay, Andrea. She's cancer free. But she comes over and takes my cat and sits with them and loves on them. God, I love good people.

But you can't adopt them because she has a dog. Oh. My dogs love cats. My dogs will. That's interesting. They go to see, well, they grew up on the streets. So they're just like happy to be anywhere. Right.

Right. Like I rescued both of them from South Korea. And so they really had some humble beginnings. And they just love. They eat spinach broccoli. How old were they? Well, I don't know for sure. I think ramen is probably eight and I think Pino's four or five.

yeah and they are just they love they love chickens they love cats they love for any animal that is around them they just love and it's so cute so that's why i feel confident getting a cat i'm like they would love it i think my one dog pino i think he lived with a cat before um he came to me because he walks on the back of the couch sometimes and he does paw things and i'm like you think you're a cat it's hilarious it's true yeah it's so sweet but yeah so i've definitely looked into the cloning. I thought about that from the day I got them. I was like, I want to clone them. And I think, didn't Barbara Streisand clone her dog or something? I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I heard that. I mean, if I were Barbara Streisand, I'd clone myself.

That's another, that's another issue. Hey, guess what? This is, I wonder if, like, look at how far technology has come over the last 20 years. Like, if we think about, you imagine. So you, there might be an AI version of the two of you doing podcasts. in the near future. Right. You never know. The one thing I wanted to say about, we were talking about a little bit ago,

about what you were saying about fearing more loss. Yes. Do you think you've changed because of the loss that you? Yeah. Right. I think, and I've talked to a lot of people about this, I think people end up, like it or not, being more compassionate human beings because they've had whatever loss it is. I agree. And having

to deal with it and all that. And I think it really, that's the little blessing that comes out of it. It is because you realize that life is precious. And we can say that until we're blue in the face, but until you experience loss, you don't realize that. And the more you experience it, the more you treasure and cherish life. And you see the importance in life. I feel like, you know, as fun as it is to have Instagram followers and to do the experiences that we do and to have everything that we have that's it's like a bonus it's so much fun but like like how much has social media impacted your lives in that way like do you I feel like at your don't don't take this the wrong way at your age I feel like you can like almost embrace the community of it and the

support and love and like have fun with it rather than do the comparison game be insecure to see other people and be like, why aren't they, why am I not doing this? Like, what is your, and I asked this on a lot of podcasts, relationship with social media. I never had an Instagram until I went on the show. And I am probably have the lowest number of followers now. Quality over quantity. I think. But I have, Nancy is quality. Yeah. No, thank you. But I have many of my dear friends who have a lot. And at first, you go, well, I was like, okay, well, so I don't want to just make eggs in the morning go, oh, hi, now I'm sitting down.

You mean you don't want to sell toothpicks on Instagram? I didn't want to do that, but I also know that in order to get more things, you have to have more followers. So I've really wrestled with that. Yeah, I bet. But that's real. It is real. And I've said that, and I put on there, if you look at my Instagram, there's a lovely picture of me without a tooth.

Right before the show, I, and Kathy knows this firsthand, I bit, I had a gel manicure, or no, a dip manicure that was really hard. And I went like, oh, no! And all of a sudden, this is four weeks. I didn't even know if I was still going on the show yet. Anyway, long story short, I bite it. I thought, oh, my tooth hurt. Well, no, my front, not my front, the one next to it. And so, no.

I was like, okay, that's like my sign. Can't do the show. If I picked, not doing the show. And then the dentist, they have to pull the tube. Then I have to have an implant. Oh, God. But they can't do the implant. You have to wait for four months.

Blah, blah, blah. Well, I'm going on the show. I can't. And they said, oh, no, it's okay. We'll make you a retainer. a retainer with a fake tooth. So of all the things, so the entire time I'm there, you got a retainer with a tooth, relatable.

Wait, nobody knew it except, well, before Kathy and Susan, nobody else knew it because I was embarrassed. And when I talked, my producer, Brian, would go, Nancy, come here, you have something in your retainer. Wait, can I just tell you? And then I take it out, and I was like, I can't make this if I try. Humbling. But let me say, we shared a room.

Nancy, Susan, and I. You have to share a room. That kills others. That kills you. And a bunch of others were in one room. And one night, Nancy, we're sitting there, and I'm not kidding. We're all just chit-chat. And it's the better we got to know each other.

People let down their guards. Nancy, all of a sudden, I wish you could see it. Like, she goes, well girls. I have it on that. She goes, well girls, and she does this. And she goes, And I had a big gaping. We just died laughing.

But that's one reason. But we loved and we embraced it. We didn't care. No, of course. We had the biggest laugh of the century. I bet. But the whole time, whenever anybody I talked and when I was on camera or I thought I was on camera, I was like, oh my God, it's going to fall out. And then I kind of have a lift.

And I thought this can not. She was fabulous on the show. Yeah, you would not get any. worse and so the whole time I'm thinking okay now I've never been on TV and now I've got this thing and I thought you know what I don't know why I'm here I don't know and I had the best time yeah but I just recently you were there because you are fabulous in every way my gosh but I literally Brian would be like Nancy I thought I again couldn't make it up but I just got my choose Not my permanent one, but my almost permanent one.

She's still waiting on it. I don't have to wear a retainer. Thank God. And I thought, nobody's going to want to date me with a hole in my mouth. Are you kidding me? I wear retainers tonight every night of my life. Yeah. Every night.

But you weren't missing a tooth. That's peanuts. Yeah. I've got other issues. We all do. I will say for me, social media. Yeah. I had an Instagram account because when I worked, in fact,

I had an Instagram when it first came out and a Twitter, now X, account when it was like 14 characters because in my job, I had to have all those accounts. But I barely used them. I just had to have them and input stuff occasionally. But I will tell you, I did an interview for Bachelor Nation. I have a gay son who is. I didn't know that. Did I?

I don't know. But he is the most incredible human being. I bet. Well, I have three incredible human beings. And they asked me if I would do an interview, and I said, sure. Yeah. And it was about being an ally for the gay, LBGTQ plus. I always get the initials wrong, but who cares?

They're all included. Yes. And the hate male. Oh, no, you can't imagine. And so for me, you know, people, I think for me, I am authentically myself. I can't be anyone else. I was myself on the show. I am who I am.

Love me or hate me. However, social media, I would say I wish people could be more kind. I know. Because I'm a human being. I think if people knew my story, they would be kinder. And not just my story, Nancy's story, your story. Yeah. You're one-dimensional to people on Instagram and TV.

But it's also safer. People think, right? Oh, they would never say that to in person? Exactly. Never. You would never talk the way you do. But even if they said it to me in person, I think that if they talked with you for, but if they did, if they gave me five minutes and just heard why I feel the way I felt, they might say, you know what, Kathy, thanks. I don't agree with you.

Right. But I appreciate that. And that would be enough. but but the hatred that goes on in social media i think it's dark it's very dark it's really dark and as much as we can sit here and say like the poor people because obviously they're not well oh oh i'm obsessed carry on yeah is this on camera you saw it right there your first she had a hard day that makes it you have no idea a bad day I laugh a lot, and I, but humor often hides a lot of pain.

Yes. And, you know, if, if you need an example of that, Robin Williams, right there. Oh, I know. Yes. So, so, yeah, you know, I put out one-liners and I love life. I am so grateful for life. But, you know, we all have tough times. And so to see, that's what I didn't expect on social media.

Hatred, yeah, the darkness. I just, I wish people would understand. that you don't have to agree with someone, just be kind. Oh my God, literally you do not have to agree with anything. It doesn't mean you have to go and attack a personal belief or a look or a something. Like, it doesn't make sense to me when people go, well, I'm going to attack the exterior or like the amount of times that people freaking rip on me for getting like fillers or bowtops. Wait a minute. I'm sorry. God.

They rip on you? Oh, I get, I get bullied very badly online. A lot of people do who have a platform, but people will comment to me a lot of times be like, I can't believe the amount of hate that you get on social media. Still to this day, I'm like, I'll read comments. People are, I mean. Do you read all of them? No, no.

I was going to say, do you get hate mail, Nancy? No. Well, because she's fabulous and perfect. Yeah. Somebody said my arms were fat in the back. Oh, your arms? Wait, stop the press. That's true.

Nancy does not have fat arms. No, but I mean, no. You said anybody. Who cares if you did? Really. You know, Susan and I are compared all the time to Chris and Caitlin Jenner. And you know what? What?

Oh, all the time. Oh, my God. We were on the Kardashians the other night. Do you know that? You were on what? The Kardashians. I didn't see it. Did you see it?

It was on. The Kardashians? No. No, I personally was not that pictures. Gary was on it and then pictures. Pictures. Oh, you saw it? No.

Gary was on it? Apparently. I didn't see it. He had gone there for dinner. You're kidding me. One of the producers. On the show. Yes.

Wait. I'm sorry. I don't know. All I know is all these friends started texting me. Oh my God. Pictures of you are on the Kardashians with saying you look like Caitlin. And then they kept praying, not your daughter, Caitlin. I was like, what?

So I didn't see it, but you know what? You know what I say to all those people? Thank you for the compliment. Caitlin Jenner, it's a beautiful woman and like in me. I love you. For ever, thank you for the compliment. Thank you. No, they still do.

And what else can they say? Once you say that, you think they're quiet, right? Well, some, you know, there are some. I bet you're all ones that don't have profile pictures too that you can't see them. Yeah. But I, you know what, I, it goes back to what you said, Nancy, like, we have lived a lot of life. Yeah. And yeah.

I am confident in who I am. Yeah. And I, if you want to be mean, be mean. But you know what, guys? Being mean is not going to make your life happy or longer. So rethink it. I always say, like, how sad that you have one life and you see women like you on TV, going through you've been through pain you've been through it and you're literally like

embracing other women and then how sad that you've got one life and you're going to hate follow someone hate them bashing like that is going to make your life shorter and more miserable while you keep taking it to the bank too why don't people get that they because they're something's missing i mean i'm when people go kaffir you look so much younger but hatefully saying that okay do you want the number of my dermatologist and you can get filler in Botox too? I do. Like, yes.

I love it. I don't, I'm not just saying this to toot your horns. Like that whole season revamped my vision around getting older. I was like, these women are so spicy still

and full of life and beautiful and more confident than anyone that's ever been in this franchise. I love that. Thank you. Awesome. Yeah.

And it really isn't. People, that's the, you know, that's the general consensus here. I have to talk about Gary because that's who season you were on. I'm dating him. Right. I know you're not. Use that as a clip. Gary.

Don't. Kathy's dating Gary. Kathy is dating Gary. And I can't wait to be on screen rant. You can't say that. No, that's incredible. You can, you can bleep it out. We can do whatever and people can just listen and realize that you're joking.

Let me say, Gary, you had the chance to have perfection. And what did you do? You chose not perfection. What happened? Honestly, okay, now that we've got the clip. I love you, you get it. The truth, oh, I'll, yeah, I don't care. See, I don't care.

See, I don't care. The truth is I text with Gary, I talk with him. Gary is a nice guy. okay Teresa's a nice person yeah they're nice people yeah

it was a short season they got caught up in the moment I think they were in love in the moment yeah yeah of course as we all I mean

I think that's true do you yes absolutely and it didn't work out and I think we all love love yeah we want it to work we all do

whether it's on the bachelor or you know the guy I met on the corner grocery store yeah In our age group, there's so many extra things in the Golden Bachelor, and Joan is the new Golden Bachelorette, and she's going to find a guy. But you know what? Both of them are, they're going to each have a house. They're going to each probably have kids, probably got grandkids. It's going to be,

it's a different dynamic than the 20-somethings. Totally, where you can just pick up and go, pick up and go, do this change careers having that is a difficult part of it but nancy don't you think you get caught up in the moment i'm telling you you get caught up in the moment of course you do and and what sounds so easy no okay now the cameras are gone right oh wait i have to give up my job and move oh wait you know i have to give up the cornfields and move especially with your at that point in your life when you've literally built roots everywhere you're not just thinking about yourself anymore You're thinking about your kids, your kids' kids. Literally, I said that to Gary.

I said, I have three children. Yeah. And at the time I had one grandchild, now I have two. I was like, I will travel. I will live part-time, but I'm not moving. Yeah. You know, anyway. So if Gary misjudged you, does he ever slide into the old DMs?

Does he ever try and get back with you? You know what? I think Gary, I think Gary regrets not getting to know some of the women better. Yeah. honestly I really do believe that and I think he feels badly yeah about that I would love for him to find happiness I want everyone to find love I can weirdly relate to that um I was so zoned in on my one guy that I picked that I when we broke up which was literally we were together for three and a half years I remember being like God I was so laser focused on him I should have got to know the other guys better it's all the benefits of hindsight yeah you don't have time yeah you don't have time you don't have time you don't have time that when you. Time is well and you did have a shorter season. We did so then to you know, we knew the women. We knew the women. Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'm saying we had such strong friendships because we spent time together. Gary and I were always friends. Yeah. So

romantically we and same with you, Nancy. But if I were Leslie, if I were faith, if I were Ellen, and he came to me, if I were one of those women. Yeah. And he came to me. And he came to me. me on bend a knee with, oh, let's call it a thousand roses, because that's what it would take. Like a five carrot. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Five, I had one of those. I'm saying seven or eight. Okay.

If he came and, no, but seriously, if he came and said, I was an idiot. Yeah. It was in the moment, I am, you know, I, if I were one of those women, I'm a romantic. I believe in a, I would probably date him. Let's get Bachelor in Paradise, golden Bachelor in Paradise. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you only bringing me Gary? No, no, no, no. No, I would do Bachelor and Parry. All right, you guys, get ready for some exciting news because Macy's VIP sale is right around the course.

Show up or grow up. Because Daisy was so out there with her cochlear implant. Yeah. I thought, you know what? And I, I, I, I, didn't put it out there before but since then I have and I thought you know what I'm going to go so now I have a mom you own that I do yes and I don't always you know I wear it here yes um you know you don't always see it and I don't really want anybody to see it but at the same time if you do yeah that's what it is I think it's but this is weird but I think that's kind of badass that's my girlfriend has one and she has never felt any type of way about it ever so it's interesting to hear like because obviously but having somebody maybe validate your insecurity in some way that you're

wrong with our culture that Nancy is made to feel insecure about yeah you're right no you're right I don't know because the the more light that you shine the more of the darkness doesn't want to like take it in or see it and they come forward more it that just means you're a light all the women that we're on the season of the Golden Bachelor are lights, and people don't know what to do with that. I mean it. They don't know what to do with bright lights. You are all bright lights. I don't want to believe that. I want to believe, I love that, but in a way, I want women, I want, not just women, I want women and men to look at us and say, wow, if they can do it, I can do it. The right ones do. That's correct. And the ones that don't, they need a hug.

can I just say you need to pray for them the men that say I can do it please reach out yeah please we'll give your number at the end of this podcast

please do but I do there's still great guys out there yeah oh yeah yeah you know there's gotta be there is there is and we will all find them we all will

in the right timing wait a minute we will all find them you know what what something I learned we may or may not find them okay but what we have to

what I've learned is, I am okay by myself. I am a full and complete person. And if I don't, quote, find that guy, it doesn't matter because I'm happy with who I am and where I am. Right. Well, and I think you also get used to, like, being alone. And I think all the women on the Golden Bachelor felt this way, you know, they all live alone. Some had kids or relatives living with them. Most didn't.

yeah and none of us we knew how to be alone because we had to yeah but at the same time we still didn't like it yeah we'd still rather have somebody to say how is your day yeah let me empty the dishwasher like course regular everyday life stuff i'm in such a weird place right now where i'm like i'll empty the dishwasher i do it and i live by myself in a beautiful house and i've decorated and i've done so much for myself and then i'm at night i'm like well it would be kind of a nice to have somebody. Right. You know what? That's fair. But I do feel whole. Right. I feel I feel I feel so solid in myself and I'm not kidding like probably a year ago. I was like, you know what? That's what will attract people because that's right. You are strong and solid in yourself. And I know that.

And I really feel I really was at a place of my life where I was like, I actually think I'd be solid on my own for the rest of my life. I actually think that. And so anyone that comes in is going to be a bonus. Absolutely. Yeah. And you know what? I think when women say, and it's usually women, When women say, I am good by myself, I'm good. That's when they meet someone. I think when women say, I'm just looking for the man to complete me or the partner to complete me, that's trouble. Yeah, I agree. You better be complete by yourself.

Yeah, I agree. I could literally talk to you both for 66 more minutes, but let me just ask you this. Joan is the next golden bachelorette. How are we feeling about the season coming up? Have you given her advice? Are we close with her? What can we look forward to? What do we thoughts on the next season?

Joan lives 20 minutes from me. So Joan and I, because she left early, we didn't really get to know each other well until really after the show. But we get together because, again, she's close by. And I think this season, I know she's really excited. I know she was apprehensive about, okay, she's very shy. How are we going to find? She's not. Oh, I thought she was shy.

She's not. Kathy's shaking her head. Oh, you know. Do you think she's shy? No, I don't, I don't. She's not, okay. But I think she, like all of us, would be worried, okay, we just thought not work. What about all, like, are they going to find 22 Gary's?

Or are they going to find 22, you know, men? Yes, they are. I was trying to think of, you know, the men, the gentleman, the men I respect, blah, blah, blah. In just my friend group, would any of them do it? And then somebody said, wait a minute, Nancy, they might if they've lost their spouse, if they this. I'm sorry, they might if they look at Joan. Let's be clear. Let's just stop right there.

And that's the other thing. Yeah. I think she's got the look. Yeah, 100%. She definitely has the look. Are you saying I don't have the look? No, you do have the look, but I'm saying her look is a, you know, she's got beautiful. You know what?

I'm going home. I'm getting extensions. I'm getting fake boots. I'm doing it. Stop. I would love to get extensions. Let's go together. Oh, my God.

Let me say. I want to go. Yeah. No. I think, I think it's going to be a great season. Yeah. I think Joan did leave early, but Joan make no mistake. Joan knows what she wants.

Yeah. She knows what she's after. Yeah. She knows what comes after. Yeah. She saw what happened with Gary and Teresa. Yeah. This is not a 23-year-old.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? She's not a baby in the woods. Yeah. She's smart. And all I think is they need to bring Nancy and me back on her season. Oh, they will. They're going to bring all of you back.

No, no, they're not. I don't think they are. I think I'm going on. I hope so. Yeah. Of course you are. Well, I might be there. I don't know yet.

I actually don't know. I want to be the MC, but I bet you are. No, no, no, I'm not. I want Jesse. I think. They're 100% bringing you in for some. Jesse would be good together. You have a podcast under their network.

They want you there. No, I'm telling you. I don't. If I had my dream, you didn't ask this question, but most, people no just telling you just saying tell me to ask all but most people three two one three two one so most people ask me what was the thing that I what was the best part of that golden bachelor yeah you know what it was for me what I'm not kidding being the emce with jesse and charity on the wedding you were so good I killed it I loved it I love live TV there was very sad I wasn't with you for that I said to

one of the producers that's when they said to me I went why couldn't I host it? with Kathy and they went too similar you get you are Kathy in however many years never heard that but if but if they think I'm you yeah hell that's that's that's that's high cotton that's high right high Indiana corn cotton but I agree I would do that again in a minute yeah seriously that to me was high but I think I think Joan is going to be spectacular yeah people will tune in yeah she is Joan is beautiful. She is lovely. She is kind.

We all know that she cares about her family. Yeah. It's going to be a great season. I can't wait for it. I can't wait. And I also can't wait to come on your podcast and the Golden Hour. That's what it's called, right? Excuse me?

Your podcast. It's called what? Golden Hour. Oh, I thought you said the Golden Hour. Oh, I was saying like the podcast is called, yeah, Golden Hour. Happy Hour. There's Happy Hour and Golden Hour. It's under Bachelor, Happy Hour.

then you look for golden hour. I would never say the first. Okay. You find the picture of Susan to me. And the funny thing is, we get, you know, people go, oh, that's a woman's thing. Uh-uh. We get so many men writing in questions. It's great.

I love that. It's fun. That's awesome. And Susan, I talk about everything. There's no. I believe you. I know. I believe.

There's everything. I'm not kidding you when I tell you that this is one of my favorite conversations I've ever had with anyone in seven years of my. podcasting what i'm not kidding i'm i don't there's just i think there's a lot of takeaways i thought there's a lot of inspiration it was funny as i think they're all it was exactly what i would want in 72 minutes we got to get out of here i mean you're charging can i can i tell you why we need to get out of here yeah because we my wine glasses empty i and the bottle you are me in the future yes we will we'll we'll see you at the cma fest yep the cma fest

you can say the you can use that article tell everybody oh no nancy was the quiet one but she's here now and she she can speak now because she has her tooth she is back better than ever however if you're looking to date someone if you want cute demure blonde you want nancy if you want straight in your face you want me oh my god i literally i will i'm going to have you if you will back on during the bachelorette season so that you can, yeah, so that we can have another conversation because this. Happy to. I just want to thank you for having us. You are fabulous.

You both are. You just made my whole day, my life. This was so incredible. I want to have my fat hanging out of them. You want to borrow it? I need two of them to sew together, but yes. Okay, lean queen. You literally, right, exactly.

You guys are nuts. Thank you. Honestly. And Golden Hour podcast, where can people find it? On anywhere you get podcasts. go to Bachelor Happy Hour, and then search for Golden Hour. And write in your questions because we will answer them. I love that.

And if you're a single, slide into where? At Nancy. At Gmail. Oh, my goodness. I love you. You gave your email. Yeah. That's so precious.

Kimbo, what's your Instagram? What's your Instagram? You don't know your Instagram. Nancy A. Hulk Hauer. I love you. It's my name. The H. Hull, Carol.

I truly want to be both of you when I grow up, all put into one. I'm obsessed. This was amazing. I love you both so much. I had a ball. Oh, my God. It was great. I had a ball.

I have to leave now because there's men at the CMA Fest that I need to invite. Wait, see, we're going to be fighting over. This is the thing. We're going to all get into a fight. We'll be on the front page of the Nashville Times. Kathy knocks Nancy on the floor. going for the guy. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating in review.