Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Katie Maloney | Q&A Session Exposing Faux Country Boys and Dick Slap Drama!

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

#734. Join Kaitlyn Bristowe as she sits down with reality TV sensation Katie Maloney for an unfilte red conversation that tackles all of your burning questions! From spilling the tea on what truly happens behind the scenes of Vanderpump to Katie's desire to start fresh in the dating world, no topic is off limits. Have you ever wondered about Katie's dream reality show appearance? Here's a hint: it involves baking cookies, not stirring up drama! But wait, there's more – get ready for stories about faux country boys, Kaitlyn's possible foot fetish, and the jaw-dropping tale of the infamous dick slap incident that left Katie stunned. Don't miss out on this hilarious and revealing episode! Tune in to Off the Vine now for all the juicy details and plenty of laughs. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (6:42) - Katie shares her thoughts on the behind-the-scenes action of Vanderpump Rules. (14:58) - Discover Katie's surprising dream reality show appearance. (22:15) - Kaitlyn and Katie discuss the type of man they are looking for and what type of man they see each other dating! (33:20) - Katie shares the jaw-dropping story of the infamous dick slap incident that left Katie speechless and walking out the door! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping when you use promo code VINE15 at bollandbranch.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Off the Vine.

Hey everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today we've got the one and only Katie Maloney in studio with us today. We talk about a lot of my weird fetishes. We talk about what's going on on Vanderpump, so behind the scenes. And we talk about how Katie gets sacked. You're really going to want to hear that. I had people writing questions for you on my Facebook group.

More questions. Yeah. I grilled Katie last night at the live show for people who weren't there and she got mad at me. No, I didn't. No, I didn't get mad about that. It was just about the dancing portion of the day. Don't not make me dance.

I think that's so cute that you don't like to dance. I love dancing, but on a stage, ma'am, are you? That's my dream. Are you okay. Would you ever do dancing with the stars? No. What? No.

You wouldn't? No. Just because of that? No, not because of that. No, it is really grueling. Like, watching just kind of from the silence of life, not actual silence on the, in the ballroom. But Ariana is just the rehearsals and the time, the, what your body goes to go through. I'm just like, I don't think I could.

I mean, listen, I can't do anything I apply myself to, but that is like really, really intense. It's bananas. I don't know that I just would, I would enjoy it that much that I could really get into it. it that way, you know? Yeah. See, I think that's why the people who make it to the end, I'm like, you have to really want to be there because it's hard. Yeah, I think that there's other things I could enjoy more. Like, what? Would you ever go on, was that show that we were just talking about, Special Forces? I did. No, I could never. I don't, I don't care how much money you pay me. The stuff they have to do, they have to, like, swim through water with, like, 40-pound backpacks on.

Nick Vow got, he got, like, hypothermia. Yeah. Are you kidding? Whenever those, like, climate weather and conditions like that like i'm like no i'm like an indoor gal are you joking okay like i could picture you on um i'm just thinking of you on other reality shows but i want to be like a bake off show oh bake off i'm bake off we like baking cookies yeah yes that is my speed oh okay i don't want to i don't want to be like twirling or swimming i want to be baking that's fair i want to go on i used to not think i wanted to go on it i'd be like oh that's not worth it traders i actually want to go on it now but then i'm like but man i saw some of the ones where they have to jump in the water and like swim and i'm like do they do that on there yeah there's like physical yeah there's physical

challenges and that i just want to go to scotland and like yeah biscuits it's that what the food i don't know i want to just be in like a pub yeah like a scottish pub yeah and the accents yeah i watch do you watch outlander no i want to go touch some stones go back in time i don't want the disease but I want the men and kiltz with the accents. I could have guessed that you don't want the disease. I love an accent. Oh, yeah. I really do love an accent.

Okay. People were really curious about how we met, which is so funny because we were talking about this yesterday. We're like, how did we meet? Was it just through podcasting? Oh, I think, I think, yeah, we met when I did your podcast. It's just, it's a pretty boring story. Yeah, I came into our podcast and we're like, we're friends now.

Yeah. And then you like, it was so fun because we were like, you should come to Nashville. Okay, I'll book a flight. Yeah, come stay at my new house. Okay. and then you came well no because you came you there was like there was some stuff in between there probably there was some things that we did in between that before i came to nashville but we hung out when you were in oh yeah yeah yeah right yeah we just bonded yeah you just bond you know some people you just become like

instant friends with that's what it was yeah and then it and then it solidified our friendship when you told me your karaoke song was torn by natalie and brulia oh hell yeah that's such a good karaoke song We tried. Everybody, we tried so hard to go to karaoke yesterday, and it just apparently, we went to, first of all, we went to the bar at 4.30 in the afternoon. And they're like, we're not doing karaoke till nine. And then we're like, to my house, we go and did our own karaoke. It was like, what if I just start singing right now anyway? We tried. And the whole karaoke bar broke into Taylor Swift. It was amazing. But look at this. Yeah. Oh, no. no one can hit that note we all were that was a

that was us we were on a selene dion kick last night it was it was very theatrical it was moving it was tearful it was it was it was powerful it was powerful it was powerful as selene dion would say a lot of wine was had so much wine I woke up today and I was like one eye popped open I was like oh oh Pop it back close, please. I ain't ready yet. It said number two. What's your favorite thing about being friends with me?

I didn't write that. Okay. I like the best time ever. There's a lot of things. We have so much fun. We laugh. Sings, Celine, too. And we have good conversation.

We have the best time ever. It's really nice. Yeah. Somebody wants to know, how did you find your voice after your divorce? What steps did you take to become confident and get new energy? I think it's when I just realized that I wasn't being not like held back, but in a lot of ways, I had to, I was fighting so much for the relationship, so I wanted to just

appease. Was the word appease? I don't know if there's words a piece. Yeah, so I mean, I was, I just wanted to be lovable and do what I felt like I needed to do to just try to make it work. And I felt like that was always just kind of around the corner. So what I realized is that like, I was no longer having to fit into a box or fit any type of mold or type of person to be that I thought he wanted me to be and I was like no I got to just fully be myself and say whatever

I want to say it just didn't even matter anymore the only person I had to please was myself yeah and so that just like I gave myself permission just like say what I felt and what I meant and that was just I love that my favorite word right now is permission for yourself like I think that's so powerful to give yourself permission to feel that way because we I think like I've been in that situation where I felt so much pressure to be a certain person for the relationship and show up the way I thought I should for the relationship. And then you'll find the right relationship where you can just be, you know, authentically you, not need to show up for anybody but yourself and still thrive in a relationship.

Well, yeah, because I think that was like the biggest issue too is that I think it's, I lost who I was. I became a very much of like a shell of a person. My identity, everything was just I didn't know who that person was. Yeah. And I think that happens. a lot in relationships, you know, autonomy and agencies just aren't going to things anymore. You become just like whoever you think you're supposed to be.

Or you start mirroring that person as well. And it's just like, I don't, I never want that to happen again. So if a person isn't down with like this dysfunction and there's a person from me. If you're not down with this dysfunction, then you're not for me. Yeah. Truly. I mean, because I am, I am a person that's like very opinionated and outspoken and I'm always going to advocate for my. Self. Some people aren't into that. Well, it's so interesting to see like how the internet reacts to different personalities. So like sometimes people don't know how to take someone who can just really be who they are. Like you being so unapologetic and speaking your opinions and speaking your mind is so scary to some other people. So they don't know how to like take what your personality is. So they like it's just being misunderstood. Do you feel misunderstood? Sometimes. But I feel like. Sometimes. But I feel like.

I just They don't care Well no no yeah it's misunderstood but also Like maybe Yeah misunderstood are people just My Maybe it's my sense of humor Yeah

Or yeah I don't know what it is But also I just I don't really Yeah I don't really care If people like me If people don't like me I don't really care You're not gonna be for everybody And not everyone's gonna be for me

Why do I want to be it for everyone? No Like I know that's impossible But I'm like The ones that get it They get it Yeah that's true are my people i'm not going to stay here and try to twist my you wouldn't even want to hang out

within the first place yeah like try to pick me choose me understand me love me like no you're just not you're not meredith gray you're not exactly just you're just not for me and it's okay move along there's somebody else that's probably more your type of person i like that i need to hang around they're not as cool they're not as cool as me not as cool somebody said now i don't know i don't even know who this person is but somebody said what do you think about what joe has been saying on her lives instagram lives i don't i don't really know what to make of it is it is i want to give it context but i don't know how so she's somebody that is she on bander pump she was this past summer it was being sent to me like crazy last night and i was like i like washed a little bit i'm just

like but again so much wine that i was just like what is happening i was like this is crazy and so I watched again today and I was like oh my goodness interesting I don't know I was kind of just like wow so she was on Vanderpump she moved in with Tom after yeah I mean she like stayed with him for like a short period of time but then was like kind of like staying with him a lot you know spending the night here and there and no one really understood their whole dynamic or their relationship but we got a little bit more insight this past summer when they like filmed together or when I watched the show actually because I didn't hang out with them okay and I don't I was like, okay, well, that's interesting.

Like, there's a question of whether Tom led her on or not, and she feels like he did, and I think there's, like, a little bit of way behavior happening. I don't know, like, whatever. So she's, what, doing Instagram live? So she did an Instagram live, and people are asking her questions, and she was talking about their, like, sex life a little bit. And she kept, like, bringing me into it. I was like, I don't want to be part of this whole thing. Honestly, like, I just, I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to,

separate myself from that please she kept kind of going back and forth and felt it contradictory it it feels like comparing her situation with tom with like my 12 year relationship with tom i was like this is wild like this is very different um wild and inaccurate yeah no it was it was a trip that's what i think about it it was a it was a trip i can't really bring myself to take it too seriously people love you on these questions that's very cute somebody said you look so good What are you doing to get that bod? Well, I do Pilates, like a couple times a week, sometimes three times a week. Do you really?

Yeah. Good for you. And I go on walks. Hot Girl walks. I love a Hot Girl Walk. Yeah. Or a Hot Girl Burrito Walk that we did. Yeah, with a burrito on my hand.

I want everybody to try that. Just get yourself a burrito and go for a walk. Go for a walk. It's so great. A nice, it's a snack walk. Hot Girl Walks are now snack walks. What do we use? Burrito walks.

A little sandwich. A little sandwich. bag of something just to smack on but you know i mean i don't go crazy i don't do we do boot camps and stuff i go crazy you go crazy i mean perhaps i should i don't know maybe i should do a little bit more but no if whatever you're doing is working for you i literally i think just i think having less stress in my life is probably the thing that helped me the most somebody wants to know i know this is so annoying but they want to know about the sandwich shop but i'm like i know you want to just like have it and it's here and have some more but it's around this time next month

perhaps yeah perhaps we could have a sandwich shop open i can't wait what's your favorite sandwich oh we talked about this last time but i forget i love an italian sandwich like lettuce who just like a nice spread maybe it's an olive spread or like a sundried tomato spread um like olive oil balsamic yeah like an arugula yeah and then either like a capacola or a soapasada with like some provolone a fancy sandwich

but it's not it's just it is what kind of bread I think that's the most important question maybe like a chabada oh not for me not all like a chabada I don't know I don't like the powder and I don't like the ratio

too much bread oh do you like I could just a regular like baguette or like a rustle I'm kind of like rustic I like a, I like a, like a, what is that like bun that looks like shiny on top and it's really soft? Like a Hawaiian roll. A Hawaiian, a potato bun. A Hawaiian. Sourdough, that's it for me.

Yeah, that's not what I was thinking. That's not the bun. But sourdough is my favorite bread. Oh, sourdough is great. Yeah. Listen, I like all bread. Oh, I don't. I haven't met a bread I don't like.

I have, Chibada. You, Javada. Do you like fulcasha? Yes. Oh, yes. I'm actually pretty hungry right now. Grab a coffee and discover non-stop action with Bud MGM Casino.

Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of One with Multi-Drop. Once even more options. Play our wide variety of table games. Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills only available at BetMGM. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only.

Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. but MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Okay, somebody wants to know about editing on the show. Are you allowed to talk about that?

Well, I mean, I don't know exactly what that means, but... We were talking about this last night, like when they think you're a mean girl, but you're just opinionated. Like, do you feel like editing gives you a fair representation of who you actually are? Well, I think that it's more about... It's impossible to show every aspect of yourself on... a show where it's ensemble cast and you know you have 45 minutes and it's filmed over the course of you know nine 10 weeks and you know it so I don't think you get to see someone's true essence

yeah you know we're really we're really complex individuals so it's like I to just blame it on editing I mean like they can only work with what they got so if you're whatever you're giving them but like sometimes yeah I don't think it's entirely fair accurate representation of like who I am because whether it's like my sense of humor is not accurately portrayed or just my understanding of people and the way I'm trying to like respond to them or act you know sometimes makes it seem like I'm a lot more harsh or just I don't know I think sometimes I'm like that's not how I meant it you know right but yeah I don't know just to say like oh I got a bad at it it's like I feel like that's a bit of a lazy excuse okay somebody said are you and Stasi so close yeah I mean

I saw she's got two kids now and it's like very different place in her life yeah so while I wish we spent like more time together I think that I mean I think you you're in a similar position where it's like you're who have like friends that like have the kids so it's like it's so different yeah it's totally totally different so I think you know maybe once life bounces on a little bit we can spend some time together but yeah I just think we're just kind of have very different things going on so totally but I'm really happy when I when I do get to see her somebody wants to know why Tom pronounces areiana's name ariana um i sometimes say aryana too i don't if i'm like really you're just letting it flow off the tongue but i mostly i think i mostly say aryana but sometimes i'll be

saying something prior to and then aryana comes after i'm like oh i don't know why i just said it like that how do you pronounce it it's ariana but i think sometimes i may say aryana she doesn't care she says it can it's technically aryana well why he says it i don't know why i think he's just being a ding-dong yeah okay I don't know I don't know somebody also wants to know how did you and Ariana build your friendship to the level where it is now we've always like the thing is I always always got along but you know Tom Sandoval and I didn't and you know she she was very much like yeah he would always tell me to like be careful of you yeah like I just be careful with Katie you know because exactly I because I was dangerous

You know, I just was of not, he was in her ear about just like me not being a good person or me being, I don't know what, I don't know what it was. But obviously this past year, you know, what she went through, I could relate to it in a lot of ways. I feel like you both just support each other. What a weird thing to bond over? But I just wanted to support her. I didn't, oh, you know, I felt like I didn't get a lot of support.

Yeah. And I just know that it felt nice to have the kind of, just like the support I did have from people. And, you know, we obviously started. this business together and that brought us closer as well just like spending time together and just talking about ideas that we had and just getting excited about that but i'm i'm really happy that we have been able to get our friendship off the ground and it have grow to the place that is now and be like really close and and um i'm really happy about it like her broadway performance was just nuts like in like looked like she's been in theater her whole life like that she wasn't just a

celebrity going in as Roxy that she was like meant to be Roxy. I mean, well, I guess she did theater, right? She did theater. But not like, was she like really in it? Yeah, she went to school for it. Oh, yeah, okay, I did know that. Okay, yeah, so she did train for it and she nailed it. Yeah, no, shit.

That's, I think a lot of people forget that, like, these opportunities have become available to her through the show, through whatever, through platforms, but she goes to work. Yeah. Oh. Like, she has the talent to really carry. She really does. And the work ethic. Yeah. She works really, really hard.

So that's not something that anyone could do. Yeah, people might get the door open for them, but to be able to actually be successful and execute it that way, not everyone could do. No, I agree. Somebody wants to know what's the most hilarious behind the scenes moment from filming Vanderpump rules that fans might not know about. I'm sure there's a lot, but off the top of my head, I'm like, I know. I mean, there's so many, there are so many really funny, lighthearted moments that you don't get to see because, you know, the drama. is what everybody really tunes in for. I don't know, probably like really drunk moments that are there.

Gosh, I'm trying to think there's anything. Like somebody specifically said, we've seen you and Tom go through ups and downs on the show, but can you share one of your favorite memories together that didn't make it on camera? So maybe that will spark your brain for something. This past, not this last season, but the season before, like we did a lot of stuff like with our house, like in our selling our house. Not that I'm happy that I make, but like that wasn't,

a chapter that we closed. I'm like, I wish people would have seen that, you know. Yeah. It's kind of a sad thing, but still would have wished they seen it. I don't know. There were a lot of lighthearted moments like that. Yeah. I don't know.

Okay. Sorry. No, that's, there's just, what happens. Imagine a lot. Somebody wants to know what your plan is moving forward with Vanderpump. Like, where do you see yourself going with the show? Oh, gosh. I mean, well, we don't really know what the future of Vanderpump is going to be.

This group is, like, really. fractured so i don't mean just sometimes you're like i just need to take a breath but um like i um i don't know i mean we we don't usually find out about another season until the rest of the world does you know so and that's crazy yeah and i don't know i mean i don't know what what the plans are going to be for everybody we'll find out when does the reunion happen oh we filmed that in february well has it aired we no we filmed it in march february so you film it in march and then when does it air so it'll air in may I want to tune in for that.

It's like you don't watch any. I only watch the reunion. So I have no idea when anyone's talking about. I really enjoyed the reunion on that last. They were playing it at bars and New York. People were going ape shit. It was like a Super Bowl. It was like a Super Bowl.

That was bananas. I know that. It will never be like that again. Well? That was something. I don't know. I'm telling you the reunion was definitely not like that. It was still very, it's always like very intense and really emotional and those kind of things.

but last reunion was very bananas wait how long do you film for the reunions we started around like 11ish 10 30 11 and we wrapped around 7 30 maybe oh shit it's a long that's a day we break for like an hour for lunch maybe ew it was right that's really long brother ew it is no it is it is the longest longest day yeah it's I yeah it's I yeah you I mean, that was, that's, Bachelor hours were that every day. Every day it was like, you start the morning at like 8 a.m. Hair and makeup at like 6, 8 a.m. And you're done at like 3 a.m. The way that they film all night long like that, I could never. I could, I could never. Honestly, I don't know how I did it.

And my night one was filmed over two nights. So we did that two nights in a row. Like we had to put our hair and makeup and dresses back on. from night one and film again from that time to that time, like 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. is what we film. If you had to do it again, would you, would you be a bachelorette again? No, I can't, no, no. This would be me as a bachelorette.

You'd do the brother, ew. Ew. Yeah. I'd be like, I don't like anyone. I'd be like, can I? See, I would like everybody. That's my problem. I would either be all of them or none of them.

I'd just be like, um. Yeah, but they cast for you. It's kind of how I knew Brit wasn't going to be The Bachelorette when they were doing the votes because I was like, oh, this was casted for me. These guys are for me. That's how I felt. Yeah. But there's like five where I was like, oh, they're definitely here for Brit, but overall. I don't know.

I mean, I wouldn't trust anyone. I'd be like, I don't think you know what I like. Yeah. I wouldn't trust anyone either. I don't even know what I like half the time. Sometimes I feel like I need to just like completely throw around. at all and like mixed up and just go after a complete wildcard just to like like a palette cleanser i don't know just so just to see just to test me as myself a little bit i don't

know i could do a pallet cleanser let's palette cleanse together i'm gonna come to l a and we can palette cleanse yeah actually i'd rather not do it there why i want to go to like montana not for the montana boys but i want like a country boy you're in countryland no no no there's no country boys no there's phony ones here oh there's phony ones here oh they're like faux country yeah they're faux country they are okay where do you go for the country boys Montana oh that's really I feel like they like I want like a well I want like an old fashioned man you want that goes hunting yeah except don't hurt any animals well okay um there that's that you want a faux country boy yeah no I don't want a foe I want a real country boy who doesn't hunt I don't think

I you're not making up an impossible person in my head you got an oxymoron on your hands So just get a faux country boy. Yeah, I just want someone like, I like the idea of like listen to country music and drive a truck and like he doesn't have Instagram. Or he does, but he's private. Yeah. I feel like you can find that here. I'm confusing.

Country boys would not like me. No. You need a musician. You just need to. You need somebody in the music industry. You love music. It's like a passion of yours. I feel like you would like bond with somebody over music.

Well, I just feel like they look at me and they'd be like, what country boy? No, yeah. just like they're like where's the blonde hair what do you picture me with i don't know but i don't know really i i could i can make sure you with like an actor type oh no i'm to uh if i had to watch him like make out and oh no okay so fine okay i'm not a jealous girlfriend at all i'm just that would be a line for me okay yeah you know what i want like a retired athlete like he's seen some shit he's gotten out out of his system he's got a good retirement plan maybe like yeah but retired athletes are like 26

okay but okay maybe like a coach oh yeah manager of a baseball team yeah yeah oh like you need someone in the music industry i need someone in the sports industry i could see with like a hockey player canadian oh baby they're hot too oh do you know my favorite thing to do is go to a sports team's instagram and look at um their outfits when they like show up yes when they show up to the their games yeah oh i know it's so hot when they have style i'm just like i thought you're going to say something else what I do I go to we probably do the same thing what do you do well so like when I was single and in Canada

I would go look at the like hockey player's schedules and I'd be like I'd be like okay they're playing Vancouver tonight and they don't have a game till three days for now so they're definitely spending the night here and I know that they go to this bar and then I'd look up the roster and find the cute ones and then I'd show up at that bar and be like okay wait you just gave such a good idea to like everybody Well, I think all the Canadian girls know that trick, but...

Oh, okay, well... But for you Americans listening... Yeah, but what you got to do is what... Well, no, what I do is usually any person of interest I go, and then I'm, like, looking for any trace of a girlfriend or a wife, and the minute I find it, and I'm just like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. And most of the time, everyone's married. Yeah, a lot of athletes are married.

Well, we'll find it one day. And I'm like, you're 12. Why are you doing this? Someone could literally be like, I played hockey in high school. be like hot so that's fine like if you played in high school i'm still turned on i'm still all the way turned on that you were like ever like if you can skate that's one of my biggest turnoffs with chris soles he was a farmer i was like hot and then we did a skating date and he could not skate and i was so turned off what kind of skating hockey oh okay okay he had hockey skates i can figure skate i can't

hockey skate i haven't figure skated in a really long time i just i honestly put on figure skates and was like oh this is not like riding a bike can you roller skate yeah i'm a good roller skater You can't roller skate. Oh, roller skate? No, rollerblade. Oh, okay. I should call myself rollerblady, like a rollerblading lady. Rollerblady.

There was a girl in Vancouver. You called yourself that? You gave yourself a nickname. Yeah. Yeah. There's a girl in Vancouver who is this homeless woman. She was so awesome. She would just skateboard around the city.

She would just rollerblade around the city. And like she would do like backwards crossroads. And she had like a whole outfit. She'd like dance down the streets. And then I called her rollerblady too. You guys were the rollerblades. We were the rollerblades. Yeah, it was really cool.

Wow. Yeah. Well, you can't roller skate? You can't rollerblade? No. It's not something you need in life. That's not a skill set. I know, but when people go to like the roller rink and do this kind of thing.

Yeah. I guess so. I feel like that's such an L-A thing. I know. Someone had like a birthday party there once and I had to watch. What are they 12? But I watched because like the last time I did, I got the wind knocked out of me and I was like, I don't ever need to try this again. Yeah, I'm super good on that.

Let's talk about your podcast. It's called disrespectfully. Yeah. Tell me what is like a topic you guys would talk about. Like this kind of shit. It is just kind of shooting the shit, like girl talk. Yeah. We talk about guys, relationships, we tell horror stories.

Tell me a horror story. Well, I mean, just from, like, dating. Like, I talked about, like, one time I got, like, dick slapped after, like, a first date. That was cool. Dick slapped? Yeah. You got dick slapped? Yeah, it was great.

Like, he went, which. Uh-huh. What? I know. Did you spit in his face? That is the equivalent of disrespect. No, I just caught up and laughed. What? I can proudly see I've never been dick slapped, but that is such a bummer.

If somebody had the audacity to even think one time a guy asked, he's like, oh, where could I come? Can I do on your face? I was like, get out of here. I'm done. One time someone asked you that? Just one time? I think he learned his lesson pretty quick. I know, but like, I feel like that's the guy's favorite question. Ew, that's so gross. Okay, I'm not going to yuck your yum. If you're in to come on your face, that's cool. Well, yeah, no, first of all, if that is, if anyone's into, dick slapping. No, yeah, or face shots, like, it's just not for me, okay? It's not for me either.

But dick slap. So, what, you guys finished hooking up and it was a limp penis just, no, no, no, no. We weren't even, like, hooking up. We were just, like, making out. And he, like, he straddle me, crawled up top of me and then just, like, pulled out and went, boop. And I was like, oh. I am so thrown off.

I don't know what to do with this information. I know. It was a boop or a boop? whack it was like a tap and he thought that would be hot i don't know what he was he on something on something no like we we went to like dinner and we went back and we were like you know he whined you and he dined you and then he dick slapped you damn it katie that's bad that'll be that'll be the title of my memoir wine dine dick slap yes somebody wrote on our like on our page i don't have been our instagram or something when i talked about that particular episode and i like oh

the old mushroom stamp. Oh my God. That is epic. Mushroom stamp. Oh, so this is like a known thing. So, yeah, tell me you were like, you went, oh, and then you just left? I'm sorry. I got to go, like, get the, got to get the off.

Did he apologize? I don't even remember. I don't, I was, I stopped listening. I stopped carrying. I stopped, like, I just, but I did not stop in my tracks. That is a horror story. And this is also before Uber, so I think I had to like go and like get a cab. Get a cab.

I was calling independent cab. Oh, Lord. Yeah. So this shit was nuts. That's so, okay, I'm going to listen to your podcast. Tell me another horror story. This is funny. No, Dana, what was Dana's story about?

She hates, like, flip-flops. And a guy showed up on a date when, like, wearing, like, flip-flops. And he also was just, like, noticeably drunk. And I don't know if this is the same guy that when she was FaceTiming with him, he was laying on his stomach and, like, go like this. Oh, that's an immediate it. And he was kicking his feet. No.

No. at one point he reaches behind and he like is playing with his toe yeah it's so dark out here it is such dark times and people wonder why they're like why do you hate men look at y'all look at the way you behave like like like he's like and then it reaches behind and it's just like he's like he's with his toe no i'm not okay i'm like red not okay it's not okay it's not okay it's not okay it's not okay That is not acceptable thing. Ice time. And then she chose to go on a day.

Yeah, correct. That is insane. Oh, God. They should have been flip flops. I'm a weirdo, though. I think guys in flip flops is hot. I know that's weird. I know it's weird.

It's a hockey player thing. They were flip flops. I think it's, if you're at the beach on a vacation, it's acceptable but like I don't want to see your toes I do I want to see your toes and I because then you I feel like toes say a lot about I know well yeah if if you take your shoes off and your toes are just smiled and then we're gonna have a problem but but I don't want to like Tom this thing Tom has always had his was Danny Pellegrina called his grippers out grippers his hooves with grippers Andrew Spencer do you know who that is from Bachelor World no

the worst feet i've ever seen i don't but this isn't his fault it's like his foot curves that way very hard like both his feet go like and like are you gonna show me his feet now is this i have a framed photo of them at my house i do he gave it to me as a gift once because on my podcast i asked him for a really embarrassing confession and he was like no i don't let people see my feet they're so bad and I was like show me now and he showed me on the podcast he took nasty ass he took his shoes up yeah and show me his feet oh no and I was like oh bless those are really bad and then when he came to my live show he had framed a photo of his feet and I still have it in my podcast yeah no hygiene like when guys like have like really nice hands and like their fingernails are

like trimmed and like manly hands I'm yeah I'm like okay yeah and especially with and like their feet like I know feet are like they don't need to be like exposed polished and all that but I mean if you take your shoes off and your toes are but I don't want to be looking at them all the time I don't I don't need to be seen them in sandals. Oh I just love a man's foot sorry that's weird I know but I do you have a thing I just like I'm like oh that's such a hot foot it's hot foot feet and hands no one ever feet and hands I feel like if guys have like manly feet and manly hands but like taking care of I think that's so hot you know when a guy rose up and he's got little precious hands no i can't because i have my hands are large i've got like yeah i've got like very big my hands are big i have small hands

though yeah you're a small person but i yeah but like my hands are big and my fingers are big so like so you need like a bigger hand yeah yes okay yeah we've learned a lot on this podcast today my biggest takeaway is dick slapping is a thing that I didn't know. Well it's not a thing but it happens

so be careful out there Okay it's a thing that happens Be careful out there so where can people find your podcast Oh we have new episodes every Wednesday wherever you listen

and you can also watch on YouTube so yeah it'll just be disrespectfully on YouTube and then yeah it's such a good name for a podcast yeah but we also post

on Disrespectfully Pod on Instagram and TikTok there's some pretty funny shit on there so check it Well, I can imagine. Check it out. Yeah.

I want to check it out. Thank you for being here. Thank you. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday.