Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Katie Thurston & Jeff Arcuri | Showing Up for the Hard Stuff: Cancer, Comedy & IVF!

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

#862. Katie Thurston is back on the pod with her husband, comedian Jeff Arcuri, and this one’s equal parts emotional and hilarious. We get all the real updates—where she’s at with stage 4 cancer, what the treatment looks like day-to-day, and how she’s become a major voice for advocating earlier mammograms and pushing doctors to listen.Katie opens up about the stat that most men leave after a diagnosis—and how Jeff did the opposite and married her. We also talk about their IVF journey, the grief of not being able to carry a child, and how Katie continues to encourage Jeff to chase his comedy career—even in the middle of everything. You’ll hear how they met, how humor plays a role in the darkest moments, and why laughter and love are getting them through it. There are tears, there are laughs, and at the end of the day—it’s just a feel-good episode with friends. Enjoy!If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by Better Help! Off The Vine listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/VINE.Chewy: Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/vine.Apartments.com: The Place to find a place!Lady World: Come Join me for a fun weekend! Get your tickets now at LadyWorld.COEPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (11:20) — Katie’s stage 4 cancer updates and tumor shrinkage(23:47)— Jeff’s comedy world tour update!(40:30) — How Katie and Jeff met!(50:00) — IVF journey: hopes, grief, and what’s ahead!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Please, that one simple thing. helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you that's the only favorite i'm going to ever ask okay it truly means the world to me thank you now let's get into it obviously we're going to start with you katie you start with everything you're just obviously been on like a whirlwind of emotions and moving and everything is just like like you know how they say it's the most stressful thing to do is to like get married move and like all the things that you're doing and then get a puppy let's just and get a puppy right you got a puppy and then on top of everything have this

diagnosis and like just everything you've dealt with mentally and physically in every way i'm just like your strength and your vulnerability is cool thank you that's very sweet i mean i know that that comes with like week day week days or like you know being a puddle some days but like that's i'm your your vulnerability and how you show up online too i've always loved that about you because i feel like you've always wanted to be that on social media. You've always used your platform to just be like not giving a shit about what you think you're supposed to do. And you've just always kind of been this open book, which you know I love.

So obviously this is like no different for you, which I'm sure has created an even more intimate community with other people who have gone through or going through what you have. Have you felt that online? Yeah. It's funny because Jeff and I kind of joke. You know, there was a moment of time where I was like, what's my purpose? This is pre-cancer. Yeah.

You know, and I'm like, what do I want to do? And, you know, and then he was very sweet and was like, you know, maybe this is your purpose, you know, in terms of, like, reaching out. Someone was like, you're a healer. And I really like that phrase of like, oh, maybe that is my purpose. It's like, not only am I going through my own, like, healing journey, but I'm helping others heal and guide and be open about my experience. And it has helped others. my community has grown. Some people don't know me at all from reality TV and just from the cancer community.

Right. So it's been a very interesting experience, you know, this year, I should say. But overall, it's been like comforting to have this community of people behind me. And we were talking about this before we came on the podcast. Like the three of us, we like humor. We like funny. There's obviously some darkness to it. But do you feel like having someone like Jeff?

in your corner and in your life all the time like because let's be real positivity and laughter makes such a difference in dark scary times i think that's why we love comedians i think that's why we can have dark senses of humor is because we can laugh at things that are scary as that helps yeah yeah i hope so i've also i've also learned to when to turn it off important too yeah it's equally important the room yeah but she's she's even funnier sometimes She catches me off guard with her dark jokes that she makes about the situation and stuff. I'm like, Jesus. I can't say that, but you can, you know.

You're like, you write that one down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've tried. She's been encouraging me to write jokes about what she's going through and, you know, what we're going through. And I've tried, but it's harder than writing other jokes. Like, writing about how my mom is silly is easier than writing about this situation. Yeah.

So it's been difficult. but we laugh a lot. Yeah. It's nice. And I think it makes it like digestible, you know? And like I said to you before this podcast, I was like, let's have fun with this conversation. You know, cancer sucks on its own. We don't need like more like sadness around it.

Like to make it just like a digestible conversation and then using, you know, humor to kind of cope with it. It just makes every day just like easier. I mean, you even make it digestible for me to understand more, which I think is something cool with what you're doing with Instagram is, I mean, I literally went and got a mammogram like as soon as, you know, like you're, actually, yeah, Ashland, who was just in here, who I was podcasting with, she said she's 39 and she went to go book a mammogram and they're like, well, you need a doctor reference and prescription to get. And she was like, what? And they're like, yeah, not until you're 40.

And I was like, how is that still happening? No, it's insane. And I foresee change in the future with that, whether it's mammograms or the way that doctors are approaching preventative care and those conversations around self-checks, you know. In Washington, my primary care provider was always doing a manual check on me. And I just thought that was the normal. But then when I moved to L.A., my doctor had no conversations about breast health, never did a manual exam on me.

And so I was just like, oh, okay, I guess, you know, it's up to me now. And, I mean, here I am being proactive and being like, hey, I'm only 34. I was 33 technically when I had the cancer. Wow. Like that, to me, is just so eye-opening for younger women to go, like, a doctor who says you need to, just show them your Instagram. Here's my referral, 33, 34. Yeah. Ew. Well, I've been telling people, if people are being declined for a mammogram, you know, I'm like, tell them to put it in your chart, you know.

And then the other thing people don't realize is mammograms are expensive, but they're, I would say, anywhere from 200 to 500. So, like, for some people, that, like, peace of mind, if you just pay out a pocket, then do that. Because that's where the whole 40-year-old thing comes into play. is like four years old is when insurance covers it. That doesn't mean you can't just pay out of pocket for one. That's, I've been paying out of pocket for my, I've, I think I'm on year three of getting, I'm 40 and I'm on year three of getting mammograms. And to me, I'm like, well, I should start earlier, but glad I started when I did.

Yeah. Physically, emotionally, like, where are you at today? I look at Jeff. I'm like, I don't know how I. Yeah, I know. It's one thing about how you feel and then it's another how your partner sees you every day. Well, so every month I had to get a shot that puts me to medically induced menopause. And I would say that first week of like that reset of that shot is when my emotions are like chaotic.

And so him and I. I'll have to like, yes, I have to remind myself. Because I'll forget that that's the shot that does that. And then I'm like, what the hell's going on? Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. Like I'll have like kind of like outburst or I'll be like extra sensitive or like the other day. I yelled at our dog in a way that I've never yelled before. It was.

I've never seen you yell at anything like. No, I had to apologize next morning. I was like, I'm so embarrassed. It was also, in her defense, it was because he was just waking up in the middle of the night. And she yelled from our bedroom down the hall toward him. She wasn't even yelling at him. It was just like, shut up. But it was like.

It was loud. It was scary for me. We haven't even talked about them. Well, yeah, because I'd rather. I woke up to her screaming at the dog from the bedroom to the hallway and I was in bed and it was like 6 a.m. And I just remember going, nope, don't say a word. Went right back to sleep and then the next day. I didn't know.

Like I kind of was like maybe he'll just have slept through that and we don't have to talk about it. No, I've still, I've been thinking about it. You're like, no, I'm scarred. So subtle flex that you're living in New York and you can say that you had to yell down the home. Oh, yeah, yeah. She woke up at Butler. It was... Yeah, seriously.

Okay, I will say, though, we do have, like, a long hallway, and that's what makes Charlie's crate, like, an inconvenience is, like, if I have to get up to go greet him, it is quite the journey down the hallway. Yeah. So I yelled down the hallway. Not only did I yell, I slammed the door. Charlie then he stops from yelping and suddenly starts barking, like we have an intruder. We have neighbors upstairs and downstairs, but I'm like, oh, my God, I'm ashamed.

But, you know, then I have to remind myself. and we talk about it. It's like, I'm going through the emotions of physically, mentally. Yeah. You're allowed. It's okay. And it turned me on. So it was fine. It worked out. It's like it was not just the morning. I don't have a boner. Yeah. That's so funny. But it is, I mean, I do feel like not an excuse. It's not an excuse. It's actually just what your body is going through. Yeah. Because does it ever give you like a little empathy for your mom? Because you're like, when I would. was going through my hormone changes, my mom was probably going through perimenopause. Oh, totally. And so, or menopause.

Like, you're like, oh, no wonder you were a psycho? Yeah. I remember my mom going through menopause. Yeah. I remember. Yeah, yeah, because my sister's told me, they're like, don't with mom. And I remember that. Yeah.

That's, I'm telling you. I'm training. Yeah. Yeah. You're like already mentally preparing for when you're my age and actually going through perimenopause where I'm like, what the fuck is this? It's literally, I swear it happened on, like, a week before my 40th birthday. It sucks.

I have only, like, sugarcoat it. Oh, you know. Like, next thing you know, you're going to have a fan around your neck because you're going in hot flashes. Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's crazy. Being a woman is usually pretty easy, though, isn't it? He wants to be married and divorced in the same year.

That's, yeah, women have it so easy. That's what you're talking about. I mean, put on time. I know. Comedian, guys. Comedian? God, if I made that joke last week? Yeah, so every month I have to get a shot that suppresses my ovaries.

The alternative is removing my ovaries, which is what a lot of people end up doing who are in my situation. But that's just like such a permanent decision that I'm not ready to make. Especially because we have two embryos that are frozen. So it's like, technically, if I still have my ovaries, if we needed to in the future, I think I could do IVF again. Yeah. I don't know. So I'm just not ready to do that. So the trade-off is a monthly shot in the ass.

It's painful. It sucks. It makes me crazy. I get hot flashes. That's the biggest, I think, symptom I'm realizing is my hot flashes. Yeah, especially in July in New York. Oh, my God. It's so gross here right now.

I feel disgusting. Like, in the past, I could get away with, like, not showering for, like, a day. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm like, I should probably shower, like, twice a day. Like. The hot flashes. He's like, oh.

Does my smelly it. Yeah. That makes sense. I mean, if you're, so you're on oral meds and then a monthly injection. So oral meds every day. Yes, every day I take four pills. So instead of doing chemo, or is this a chemo pill? Well, so it's funny because chemotherapy just means chemical therapy. Yeah, okay. Depending how you view it, you know, and even chemo, the way people view it, and I learned so much obviously this year, is chemo is just not like a one size fits all. There's different types of chemical therapy, you know. So with the type of cancer I have, and because

it's stage four. It's like, I don't know how to better describe it, but like maintenance, you know. Yeah. But the good news is it's, for me right now, it's been more than maintenance. I just have my three month checkup and the tumor has like shrunk. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. And then on the liver where it had spread to, you can't even see it on on a chart. So like this is really, really working for me. Okay. Yeah. And that must give you like a little pep in your step. Like, yeah. You know, that just hearing any good news in, in that kind of moment has gone. to be encouraging. Yeah, it was great.

And I feel like mentally, like, if you're mentally in a good place, I feel like it shows up through your body in so many different ways. You know what I mean? I'm a big believer in, like, you have to, like, sleep well, think well for your body to, like, respond. Like, you are what you think, in my opinion. And so I've been really good about trying to, like, truly, like, I'll manifest, like, a little, what's the little arcade Pac-Man?

Every night, I don't know if you know what, every night, I picture, like, a little Pac-Man just like eating, you know? I love that. And just like eating away at this little devil. Devil. Titty-eater thing. Yeah, devil. It is. And you've been, like I said earlier, so open about everything, but the memory loss, the hair loss, the brain fog. Yeah. What is something that people might not know about day-to-day stage four? Well, the memory thing is probably the hardest and people don't realize, you know, luckily we're in a space of like this like influencer brand deal

type of thing, you know, so I have a lot of freedom to work with my team and, like, be like, oh, I forgot to post this or, you know, there's, there's leeway. Yeah. But if I was working at the bank, 100% I would have to go on disability and I would qualify because you don't have the mind function to properly, safely do a job like banking. This just was a twisted thought that came into my brain. Hear it. Do you ever just want to, like, say it?

Talk shit and expose it. Like write a book about. behind the scenes of Bachelorette because you're like, what are you to do, sue me? I'm going through enough. Yeah. There are times where I'm kind of like,

what are you going to, like, really? I got stage four, what are you going to do? You know? Which reminds, this is a whole, like, ADHD thought, so I'm so sorry. But after your experience, did you get to go to Disneyland? Yes.

I did not. They did not give it to me. And I think about this all the time. Go to Disneyland. No, no, it's more than Disneyland. It's like, it's like private, right? Like, you have to do like the private guy. And, like, technically you can, like, bring, like...

Who is it because of COVID or no? I won't say the name, but she doesn't work there anymore. You know. I don't know. Well, I don't know. You'll believe it. Yeah. I knew.

I was going to get that. Bitch. You don't have to leave out any of this, but you can believe out of that name. I don't know what it was she had against me or whatnot, but, like, Michelle, Gabby, Rachel, they all got to go. I never got my invite. So, if you want to talk to Rob and be like, hey, by the way. Yeah, let's get you. You're Disney on VIP.

Yes. And I want to bring my family, you know, because, like, what I had heard from other, like, producers, they're like, oh, just ask. I'm like, it's been like three, four, five. I don't even know. It's been years. But, hey, by the way, you know that trauma you put me through? You want to give me my Disneyland trip now? Yeah. But it's a whole, like, guided, VIP, like, thing. It's pretty great. I actually felt like such dick, though, because I was, like, cutting off kids in line to be. I don't care. Like, stage four. My time is limited. I'm not time to stand in line. You got your Mickey Mouse ears and a t-shirt that says stage four.

I'm just going to say, I'm dying. Yeah. No. No. He hates those jokes. Well, I'm not going to lie. I was like, ha-ha. Don't say that.

Yeah. We're all dying. It's me throughout the whole day. Whenever she makes too dark a joke, I go, stop it. That's, yeah, because I'm like, not. It's the, I love that they're shrinking. I love that you're getting positive feedback. I love that you're getting good news.

And I just, but the brain fog has got to be just a, it's, it's interesting for our dynamics. Yeah, because she's basically living a life that I live. in terms of brain fog and, like, forgetting things. Sometimes she uses it, and I'm like, no, that was just you. I will use it anytime I can. But there was one time we had, like, an argument, and then I was like, this has happened before. And he's like, tell me one. And I go, I literally can't remember, but I promise you it has.

And, like, I don't know, three days later, I was like, hey, remember that fight we had? I remember it now. It was this. That's funny. It comes to you in a dream. This is an ad by BetterHelp. You know how we're all supposed to be living our best lives. this summer. I just did the air quotes while I said that. Yeah, tell that to the 47 unread emails,

three zooms before noon, and a to-do list that somehow just grows while I sleep, maybe? Workplace stress is so real right now, and apparently 61% of people are more stress than ever. I believe that. I thought the percentage maybe would even be higher, but I've personally been trying to take small steps to just feel more human. Like taking five deep breaths before I even look at my phone, doing some gratitude, journaling, whatever chaos is in my brain before it spirals, does actually help and as we all know therapy has been huge for me whether i'm working through something big or just trying to set some boundaries and stop people pleasing my way into absolute burnout it helps me show up better in just every every area of life so that's why i love better help

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that I'll be like, hey, guys, there's no evidence of disease. Yeah. Even though, Technically, stage four is not curable. Right. Technically, medically, I will have breast cancer forever. Yeah. But with so much advancements happening and the way that I caught it when I did, I'm very optimistic. And forgive me for being so, like, not educated on this. But, like, do you have to get your boobs removed?

Yes. Okay. So we waited to see that the medicine is working. Okay. And it is. And so we're going to basically give it three more months. And then I can do a double mastectomy. get a boob job if I want,

which is I think the route I'm going to go. So I will be having questions for you in the future. All the answers. Yeah. Well, especially because we're like petite women. Yeah. So there is a certain size. Jeff will disagree.

He's like, Oh. Go ahead. Men are always such liars about boobs. They're like, no. I make jokes, but I don't care. Yeah. He doesn't like when I like, I can poke fun at him now.

You're like, how you just feel bad now? But, um, but yeah, with like, petite women, sometimes it can be too much. much, you know? And so it's been like a challenge of like, I was, I've, I worked my whole life to finally be confident in my breast era. And then you're telling me I got to chop them off and get some new ones. Yeah, seriously. That's, that was me. And then I just got some new ones anyways. But I was like, I've always just been like, yeah, yeah, small boobs. Itty bitty kitty. And then I was like, okay, but what about like the idiest, tiniest, biddiest of an implant?

Yeah. A solid handful. Yes. Yeah. I'll, I'll be there for you when you do that. But, yeah, you said, you just said it's, it's something that you'll have to live with forever. How do you, or maybe you do spot? How do you, like, I guess keep yourself from spiraling on bad days? Oh, I think I don't. I do spiral. Okay, yeah. I think you just have to allow yourself to spiral.

Yeah, yeah. You know, you can't bottle it up. So, like, there's certainly days where, like, him and I are just, like, bopping around town, having a great day, like, just, like, laughing. And then there's days where I'm just, like, on the couch. And he's like, what can I do for you? Are you okay? Yeah. I was like, I just need to cry today.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think you just have to go through the highs and lows and know that, like, that's constant. Like, there's no, like, there's no finish line in this healing journey. It's just, like, a constant, like, ebb and flow. Did you have it in the family? Was breast cancer in your family? No.

Another thing. Yeah. People just think, oh, it's not in my family. I don't need to get tested. So what do you want more people to understand about, I guess, young women and the advocacy gap there for age? I want people to be proactive on checking their breasts and push with their doctors on getting it explored further. Yeah, because haven't you talked about being brushed off by doctors early on because of your age? Oh, yeah.

I think a lot of people get brushed off because they're like, oh, it doesn't run in your face. Like everything that you are taught to believe is just wrong. Right. You know, even Google, when I first felt the lump, I was like, does breast cancer hurt? And it was like, generally no. And I was like, oh, well, mine does. So it must be my period. Oh, mine does.

So it from working out, you know. I'm just getting so, like, off of my chest. I don't know. It's an extra little muscle. Yeah. You're like a, it's like a confirmation bias. Yeah. Yeah.

So I want people to take their health seriously and be confident enough in how to have these conversations with their doctor. Yeah. And I think that will potentially save their life, you know, versus waiting until they're 40 for their first ever mammogram. And what the booby broadcast. Yeah. Is that something that you started, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Can people learn on booby broadcasts how to do self-examination? Yes and no. I mean, there's, it's like a, it's almost like a Reddit page. Okay, okay. You scroll through it and there's all these conversations I've had in the past. Sometimes it's like thoughts. Sometimes it's just educational. Sometimes it's...

And what is it on? It's on Instagram. Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah. Okay, so... So it's, I've never used it before until now, but it's really cool way to, like, build a community because I can post something. So I'm like the owner, the primary, you know?

So I'll be like, hey guys, help me come up with this idea for XYZ, then people within that post can then have a conversation with me and with other community members on that topic. So if someone like was to join the Booby Broadcast today, they could scroll back all the way to, I don't know, I probably started it in February and just see like the progression of like my thoughts and my experiences and conversations we've had. That's pretty cool. Yeah. And also it's like, I mean, it's like a diary and you go back And you see how, like, far you've come, like, emotionally and physically and the tumor shrinking and see the good. And that's, like, probably gives you hope, too.

Yeah. It's definitely, like, a documented journey within that movie broadcast. Oh. Okay. Let's shift gears. I want to talk about your love life. I want to talk about your relationship. This guy.

Yeah. He's just sitting there being like, dude, you see it. It's your turn. It's your turn. Oh, boy. But I feel like, I mean, not only are you battling something so big, but you're also newly married. Yeah. That's, you have a husband.

Like, when you came in, you're like, this is my husband. I was like, oh my God, holy shit. I love saying it. My husband. It's hot. My husband. Or if someone's like your boyfriend, like, my husband,

I'll correct them so fast. Yeah. I don't even like saying boyfriend. I haven't liked saying boyfriend since I've been in my 30s. I just say partner because I'd, and then not being engaged twice, you're like, I don't, back to boy. I feel like I'm in high school. Yeah.

Husband just sounds like, yeah. Legit. But you're also on a world tour. Yeah, it's kind of, it's like wrapping up now, I think, for the most part of. Yeah, I was in Europe for like two and a half months. And that was like really intense. It was too much.

That's a lot. Especially being away from her. Yeah. Everything that's going on. It was horrible having to be like, you know, thousands of miles away. And then, you know, six hours ahead in time. So it was, you know, midnight. I'm trying to go to sleep.

And she's, you know, 6 p.m. or whatever. So it was tough. But then we have Australia coming up and stuff. That's really fun. But it was Australia, New Zealand and Japan that he was supposed to be at earlier this year when I was diagnosed. Holy shit. And so that was like a very pivotal moment, I think, for us, because depending on what

he was going to do, depending on, like, where I was seeking care. Yeah. You know, because I was diagnosed in California. And so then I was like, do I move to New York? And is he going to be there? Or is he going to be, you know, traveling for a month. Do I go back to Washington where my family is? And so he was like, we were, just to cut you off.

We were, I don't want to cut you off, but just to get ahead of it, we were in Hawaii when you were diagnosed. Yeah. So it was Valentine's Day in Hawaii when we got it. We were supposed to go from Hawaii to Australia together. So that was the plan was we were literally already started the tour. Like we were packed for Australia. Right, right.

I turned in my keys in L.A. He still had his, you know, one-man type apartment, you know, and the goal was we were about to travel the world together. One man. I know. The one-bedroom apartment. No, no, no. It's like a truly one man.

Like a bachelor path. What you picture of being one-man apartment is exactly what that was. Yeah, I could see it. For one man. It was a fifth floor walk-up on St. Mark's and East Village. It was loud, busy, and hard to get to. And small. And very small.

But it's what I love is charming. It was great. Now we have a hallway. We yell down. Yeah, now you've got it all. Gosh, that's, okay, so that's, yeah, that's a lot to go through and be, so how has that chapter, like, what is this chapter taught you about your relationship? We've grown, I think, so much.

Yes. I bet. You agree with me. Yeah, I've learned to listen. Yeah. No, but like we've really had to push our relationship, I think, further than other people had to. And we have, like, really tough conversations, but we've worked through them each time. Yeah.

We never, I never, I don't feel like we're going backwards. Right. You know, and I think a lot of times, unfortunately, cancer can set a relationship back or a lot of people leave their partner. What? Mm-hmm. It's a big statistic, especially with women diagnosed the men leave. Yeah. Is that a statistic? It's true.

Yeah. And he did the opposite. He married me, so. Yeah. Oh, that's romantic. Yeah. That is romantic. Wow.

I don't know. I hate that statistic, though. Ew. I mean, I don't know if this is like problematic to say, but I'll say it. I think women tend to be like the caretakers. Yeah, you're right. The providers to it, you know, in a certain their own, you know, well, female way. Even, even that comes with its own struggles, too, because I feel like women do want to take care

and fix and if you are, you know, in a marriage or relationship where your husband might be diagnosed, like women probably feel so helpless because I would. Yeah. I like to feel like I'm doing something and like I'm, you know, I like to take care. I feel like all women do. And I would feel like I'm doing something wrong or like not doing enough. Yeah. Which that's a sweeter problem than the man just leaving a woman because she's been diagnosed. Wow. I didn't know that. Yeah. So early conversations about it. I just feel like, yeah, that would have you. taking like life like a different perspective on relationships and love and and what that means and what a part a real partnership looks like because you're being challenged with really

scary things so yeah I can imagine like it would bring you two probably closer together yeah it's been like yeah obviously springer like definitely brought us closer together but it's been like such a roller coaster of like good news bad news yeah it's been so like devastating like because we had you know initially we got more bad news and then we got good news good news. It's been more recently. It's been good news, which is awesome. That's good. Yeah. Being was the hardest, I think. Yeah. Not knowing. Yeah. For both of us. Yeah, the unknown. Oh, that's so scary. And I know, Jeff, you've said that you would have canceled your whole tour in a heartbeat. Yeah, of course. But how have you found balance between

like a dream career? Like, congratulations, by the way. Thanks. That's awesome. But how have you found balance between, you know, being the partner that you are and having a career like that? still figuring it out yeah true like yeah i mean i've been getting i've been performing every night ever since i got home so like even like i was out till 2 a.m. last night you know um and like that's the thing that we have to kind of deal with is figuring that balance out where i still need to do that or i still need to be out till at least midnight 1 a.m and do and do spots and and keep working on mine but then i also don't want to just be like hey by the way take care of the dog in the morning i'm not up

till noon right um yeah there's some sacrifices yeah so it's It's tough, but she's, she's been awesome out the gate of just making sure that I still maintain my career and stuff. Yeah. I could see you doing that because I feel like you're just like a, I feel like you're a champion for people that you care about. She's a great way to put it. Yeah. Yeah. You really are.

I feel like you would, yeah, it would be like, no, let's keep life somewhat normal. Do what you love to do. That's going to, you know, probably help you be a better partner too. And I just feel like when somebody else is supportive, it's like you're being supportive of what she has to go through. You're being supportive. That's just part of a healthy, happy relationship. And is it going to be hard and come with challenges?

Of course. Like that's, yeah, you're still figuring it out. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Because I feel like that would also affect in a good way your communication. Like, what's your communication like between the two of you? It's good. You know, I think that there are some times we both just need to take a break.

Yeah. If we're not meshing well. it's something like not something goes wrong but it's more like let's just say there was a night where you yelled down the hallway at the dog and I wasn't sure I wasn't I remember waking up next day walking up to her like how we doing you know and I remember she goes I'm sorry you had to see that I love that she didn't to bring it that to that she never she never apologized for doing it she apologized for me having seen it sorry you had to see that last night it was gonna come out regardless And I was like, that's okay.

Can I get you anything? Yeah. But I mean, it happens. But I think that we know that in the end, we can always end up talking. Yeah. I think we've done a good job at, like, my favorite, I sound favorite, but a phrase I like to say in my head is like, if there's nothing productive being added to the conversation, maybe because it's over or because we're still heated, then, like, don't contribute to the conversation right now. And I think we've done a really good job at, like, recognizing, like, let's just take a beat. And when we can, like, organize our thoughts, we'll come back together.

That's, I always have said this when people say, like, don't go to bed mad. I'm like, I actually need to go to bed mad because I'm probably mad over something stupid and I'll be over it in the morning. Like, I'm like, if I try and resolve it now, I'm just going to say shit that I don't mean and I'm going to say something. Or if I sleep on it, I'll wake up and be like, I can't be I was mad about that. Yeah. New day. Yeah. For like babies.

We're like, I just need like a snack or a nap. Yeah. A snack, nap, asleep, something. Yeah. That's just going to recharge my batteries. And then I'm not going to be as mad. as I was about something so stupid. Yeah.

Yeah. But has it made you kind of like let go of the small stuff or do you still? There's a lot of reflecting I've been doing just in anything that's ever happened to me in life, any enemy I've ever had, any person that like my perspective on beauty has changed a lot. Oh. There's just a lot of things I can't control. And I'm like, you know, is it worth like stressing about when you're just like happy to be alive? Yeah.

You know what I think that's the mentality with beauty, with, friends with drama with whatever you know even fights and um dynamics whatever it is there's just a lot of like does this matter and in the end of the day you're like no no ultimately none of it matters we like people are like oh you're dying it's like we're all dying we all die at the end of the day yeah so like what really matters is like living your life how you want and just like be happy whatever it takes to be happy just be happy well i mean i think about you daily i really do i think about you daily. No. Oh, don't do it. If you cry, I'll cry. I got to look at you. Say a joke. Make us laugh.

Come on, clown. Come on, I'm going to. I'm not going to. But I do think about you every day with having a different perspective. Like I do. I put terrible beauty standards on myself and I do. And I just think about you every day with how you live your life and what you're going through and like just who you are as a person. So you are making a difference. And Like, okay, I will. No, no, I don't. But it, like, you really, it's, it is perspective. That word, I say it a lot, but it's like it really is.

Yeah. And it really does put things into perspective when you think about what matters in life, you know, it really does. And I know you guys think about that too with like, you know, going through IVF and thinking about a family and getting married and everything you do. But now when you say you didn't go travel, is it because you had to stay and get treatments and all this stuff done and figure your life out? So now that you're on a program, could you travel? Yeah, and we have been. Oh, great. I went, so while he was in Europe, I visited two different times.

And so one of them was like for two weeks straight. Right. And another was like a week. Basically, my treatment is just like a once a month checking at the doctor. And even then there's like ways around it, you know, because I'm always thinking, I don't even know if you know this, but I would love to be on traders. And I'm like, medically could I? I go, I think I could.

You know? Oh, yeah. I think I could. I know it's like a silly thing to think of, but when you're in the space, you know, I just, I'm like, what can I do with my life still? You know? No, I don't think that's silly at all. I think that's great.

And a great thought. Yeah, you should be. But yeah. So, like, my life really does, to the best of its ability, feels normal, you know, with the monthly check-in with the doctor and a monthly shot, which can eventually change to a three, like, once every three-month shot. Oh, great. Yeah.

It's very manageable. Yeah. I try to describe it to. People who are like, oh, my God, stage four, it's like a diabetic. Like, they take their insulin every day, but they're good. And there's a higher chance that they die from something else than managing their diabetes, you know. Just, yeah, that word fucking cancer, man. It's just every time.

I can't even say it sometimes because it makes me sick to my song. Do you guys have, like, a limit of how long you'll go without seeing each other? Or you like, can't do that. No, because we've gone so long. We didn't even, yeah, we were used to that. But we'll say once we've seen each other, it's like, after a week. we start like the phone calls get a little testy and it's because we know we hit that wall and then it resets like three days later we're back to it even if we're still separated we'll be back to it we hit this weird little thing a week after we leave yeah that makes sense so i was just thinking about humor and you know the world that you're both in but a lot of people think oh if i get a world tour i'm set like that's you know i don't have to do the grind anymore but you're still doing stuff till two in the morning still oh yeah of course what is that like like the that kind of grind.

It's tough, but it's also like, I was talking to a comic last night about it, actually, how I was like, oh, I submitted, because Esty, who is, I work at the comedy seller mostly. Yeah. And the woman that runs the comedy seller, she just celebrated her 80th birthday, by the way.

Oh, cute. She's the one that, like, approved Robin Williams. Like, she's like, Dave Chappelle came by on Friday just to say happy birthday before he flew to Europe. You're kidding. Yeah, he's there all the time. She's our local celebrity.

And she just, like, wanted to say hi. What's her name? Esty? Of course. course today. Yeah, yeah. She's, she's awesome. But I submitted to her and she knows what's going on. She's been so nice about everything that's happened and how I've had to cancel shows day of because I was like, hey, today was a rough day. I had to cancel the show, whatever it may be. And she's been very nice. But when I came back, she reminded me like, hey, get back at the seller because

that's what gives you life. Yeah. And so I submitted to be available every day. I was like, hey, I'm available every day this week. And she was like, oh, okay. And then just gave me like every show I want like every show to the point of like thank you but also I don't want to come the breaks my last show like last night I was done at like 1 15 a.m and then I had to come home and I'm not exactly tired you know what I mean like after performing I feel like yeah your adrenaline's up and you're like oh and then you're rethinking about how it went yes what the crowd was like yeah but I was talking to a comic last night about how I'm like I'm going to force myself a couple days off because if I am not looking forward to shows yeah something's wrong there's something wrong there's something

with because that's the thing I love to do the most yeah besides be a husband is is performing and so if I'm not looking forward to the show which happened a lot in Europe because I was just so tired yeah where I was like flying for eight nine hours and then the next day they're like now perform two shows and then get up at 6 a.m. and do the same thing it was like it was a lot and that's when I was like this something went wrong because I'm not having fun doing the thing that I love to do yeah that's you know so it's finding a balance now with that and and and it's kind of nice because I was psychotic when I was like a year or two ago with what I was doing. I was performing and then I was up till 6, 7 a.m. editing and then I'd sleep till 2 and then do

the same thing where it was not a healthy lifestyle at all. Oh my God. But I'm just being better. I'm trying to be better about it. He's great. He's great. Can I tell what you have going on? I mean, kind of. Okay. I just want to be like to be proud wife right now. But at the end of the year, he's filming a special. Yeah, yeah. I'm just gearing up for something. I'm filming something at the end of the year. So all of this work that he's dealing with.

is like it has like everything has purpose right there's big purpose for him this this year a lot of jokes about her too but it's still trying to figure it out because it's like I'm filming in six months not even six months yeah that's the thing with like any kind of thing that you film is you want to be like true to your life right and so it would feel like talking about IVF those jokes are great yeah but it's hard to bring up the cancer yeah it's hard to bring it up in the middle of a set like you know because it brings it has to be so funny. Because have you ever heard someone do a joke

about it? Sure. Oh, you have? There's, yeah, I mean, uh, Tick Nataro has this entire special about. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Um, there's, there's ways to talking about it that, but there's also, it's it's a little more of, it sticks out a little bit more in a set like mine where if I'm being silly and then I have this like, yeah, I'm not a

one man show, TED talk type of comic. I'm more of just, I like the quick jokes, joke, jokes, jokes, yeah. So it's kind of a heavy topic to bring up. So I'm going to bring it up, it has to be funny quick. And I think the audience can sense that I'm like, is you okay I'm talking about this right now? Like I get scared to talk about it. So I'll figure it out. That's part of the fun of this. Yeah. Where did your humor come from? Do you have like was, I was having this conversation with my girlfriend the other day because she's so funny and I think I'm funny. And we were like,

where did our sense of humor come from? And I was like, I think it's because I grew up watching like Simpsons and Family Guy. And she was like, yeah, but both your parents are funny. And I was like so is funny learned or is it in your blood now I'm asking it's I think it's learned I was the baby so the only way to get attention was being funny or if I did have a time to talk I had to make it good otherwise no one would listen to me how many kids 12 two older sisters she knows my family it's so they're a tornado when they're all together it's very uh it's a lot conversation loud yeah yeah it's a lot everyone's talking at the same time in my house got it and even my even my my

when I visit my family me and my dad will look at each other and just be like I don't know what's going on especially now they have girls they have kids and all yeah they're all just they all talk so much so I was very quiet as a kid and I think that I just learned how to find the joke and everything to get the attention yeah that's yeah

that makes sense I guess but I'm the baby so I just like attention yeah same but you never like grew up thinking you're going to be a comic right no I just loved comedy though I love like who yeah who um did you love growing up I loved like I loved a lot of clean and it's funny because a lot of the comedians now I've I've done shows with but like I grew up like loving like Brian Regan and like I watched a premium blend

on Comedy Central so I was watching Adam Ferrara and I loved Dane Cook I remember it when I was in like end of high school years I was like I remember watching Dane Cook watching my girls that I liked watch him and I was like that's how you doing huh that's so I think that had something to do with it too and I got a babe so word yeah there you go so bored and I'm so important. I feel like in just a quality in a person. I love a sense of humor. Yeah. I just think it's, yeah. It's huge. She's really funny. Yeah, she is funny.

Oh. It's very funny. Is that how you guys met? It was through the kind of, yeah. Yeah. Like, just Instagram. I just thought she was a makeup influencer or something. I was trying to be a comedian. She just followed me. You know how pops up like in the thing? And I was like, oh, who's this? And that was it. Yeah, yeah. Well, I

said, hey, Toots. That's what Sean used to call me. Oh, God. I call her tuts all the time. Steve. I like it. It's, it's archaic, but I love it.

That's cute. I like Tuts. Yeah. But it's crazy how like everything like, you know, they talk about like the invisible string theory. Yeah. You know, he had just.

Wait, no. What is that? And the invisible string theory is that like, you were always like meant to find each other. Oh yeah. You got to like follow like that like path. Yeah. And so it's like, he's like,

the fuck. Yeah, yeah. I can, I can do the little path. He performed at a, a club in San Diego, a comedy club that I was performing at, because I thought I would be a comedian. And then I was like, oh, I want my feed to be comics. So I saw his stuff, started following him, not thinking, like, a romantic thing.

Like, he's in New York. I don't need, he could be married with kids. Yeah. Didn't you send a... Oh, well, yeah. I had a crush on him. Yeah. After, like, seeing his stuff, like, you know, you develop this, like, air social relationship

where you're like, oh, he's a funny guy. I like him. Yeah. And actually, I sent, so this is crazy. The day we got married, which was March 22nd. one year to the date a year ago is when I sent a reel of his to my girlfriends and said, my future has

me. That always happens. Don't you think where people are like, they just know and they don't even realize they said they did it? I didn't even know him yet. That's what's even crazy. I more said it kind of like, like a joking. Like, you never like a celebrity crush? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like my celebrity crush. Cute. Oh, you know, whatever.

And then like, then we met and then very quickly, I think the first night we talked, I said, we're going to have to flip a coin to see who has to move once we fall in love. Because it was just like so obvious our first night talking. Sure. Sure. He's like Yeah, no, I mean. What did you say tuts?

No, it was. It was just easy to talk to you. I remember texting like friends or family that like I just met this girl. Literally we had just started talking, just texting it was nice to talk to you. Yeah. It was huge. It was a relief. Aw. Yeah. Good banter. Can I ask? Like what was your relationship before? Were you like married?

Did you? No. No, no, I wasn't even close. But I thought he was married with kids. Yeah. That was funny. Why? That was so funny.

I woke up to, I woke up in Sweden. I remember waking up in Sweden. Last year we just started, like, talking. Okay. And it was so funny to me, but I didn't know she'd been spiraling the night before. I have a lot of fake accounts. How dare he say. There's a lot of, like, mimicking accounts, like on Facebook and stuff that'll make.

Yeah. And they'll take, they go to my old photos that I've since archived. And they'll take photos of me and my niece and be like, daddy, daughter, time and they'll post it to their Facebook as me and people are like hey just to create a real like as if it's really him oh he's posting personal pictures and so it was a fake Facebook profile with me and my niece and I visited her school and I was putting her hand in the hallway and it's a daddy daughter time and another one was a photo of me and my friends were out to dinner and somebody had said oh I'm a big fan they came over to my table I got up and then I like took a photo

with her and then I sat back down and had dinner with my friends Didn't she, like, kiss your cheek, though? Yes, she was kissing my cheek. And it was like, I love my wife or something like that on the thing. And so she woke up to, I woke up to screenshots of photos of my niece, is this your daughter? Is this your wife? And I was laughing. And then I called her and I'm like, oh, no, she's, like, seriously upset.

Like, I've been lying to her. Well, yeah, I would be. If I saw that and I thought that was real. Well, I was like, okay, he can't be married, maybe divorce. But, like, at what point is he supposed to tell me about his daughter and his ex? wife you know like we're so new so i'm trying to like not be crazy but obviously he used the word spiraling so maybe i did come i mean you were up all night talking to people about this before you talk to me about it because the time zone over you wake yeah but i didn't even text me saying like hey

is this you i don't know i'll talk to you tomorrow about it you were like i have i have you have a war room of people getting ready most people were on his side they're like just chill yeah yeah yeah so yeah and he but that always was like one of the first times where I realized like he's a really good communicator. Because he approached it so politely, so delicately, so like... I was laughing. Like he was like getting all the proof of like... He was like giving like... He's like, here's my niece, here's why.

Here's this post that shows that this is a fan. Like he just closed any insecurities. Yeah. I was like, okay, cool. Do you still like me? Good talk. Little did I know. That was the tip of the iceberg. He's used to me now. Yeah. Well, when you live in a somewhat large apartment in New York, but like an apartment in New York, you really don't have a lot of space. Yeah. No, yeah. We got lucky, like,

with what we got. He's like, no, we do have a lot of space. No, no, no, no. We do, we, in terms of like, you complain that we don't have enough space, but I'm like, we got lucky in the sense that, like, we have our bedroom at, like, it's literally, it's not like, we have a long, we don't have a foyer. We just have a living room and then at the end of the hallway is, like, our bedroom. It's like the shape of an eye. Like, there's a, like, a capital I. There's, like, His office in our bedroom, a long hallway, and then our, like, kitchen and living room space. It's a great apartment. I just wish it was, like, structured differently.

Like, I love to cook, and our kitchen's so, like, tiny. It's so funny. You don't get big kitchens here. We have, our kitchen has a lot of high cabinets. I didn't really understand that because we, by the way, I got us an apartment, and I say I, meaning, I found it because she didn't know, she wasn't familiar with New York. I didn't know where. So I was like, I know where I want.

I want a neighborhood place. I don't want Upper East. I want, you know, West Village or something like that. And so we got the apartment and I never, she wanted a nicer kitchen because she's going to be cooking. And. That sounds so like Tradwife. No, no, no. I know.

I know. Because you said you wanted to be cooking. I know, I know. She went in the kitchen making my house. I don't know. She wanted a nice kitchen because that's where she belongs. And she, I didn't realize this, but the cabinets, everything is really high up. Yeah.

So I had to get her a step stool, like a step ladder. And it's so funny. Coming home and seeing the step ladder because our closet is really tall. Everything's tall. Everything's really tall. It's not really deep, but it's very tall. So I just come home and I love seeing the step ladder in different places around the house. Like last night, I went to bed after coming to shows and I fell into the ladder in our bedroom because she was using the ladder to clean the closet.

And I was like, I ran into something. And she's like, are you being sarcastic or whatever? Because I like, I was like, no, I don't know what it is. She goes, it's the ladder. And I'm like, there's a ladder in our bedroom right now. Yeah. I mean, you get it. You're small too.

If you have, like, tall cabinets, you're like, that doesn't mean nothing. At my house in Nashville, who was just over? And I think it was my mom. And she goes, how did you get up there? I was like, there's nothing in there. Truly. There's nothing in my cabinets up there because I could never, even if I had a ladder, it'd have to be like an industrial size ladder for me to get up there.

There's nothing in there. If we had more space, everything would be reachable for me. But we have to, like, be so freaking creative with storage that I have no choice but to have, like, a ladder. I saw someone on, I think it was. TikTok, they put their shoes, they don't use their dishwasher, and they store their shoes in their dishwasher because they don't have closet space for shoes. Whoa. I would much rather use my dishwasher than store shoes.

Hand washing dishes? Yeah. Couldn't be terrible. But that's what you do. You cook and you clean. Yeah. Yeah. How to be a perfect wife.

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Plus music from the main, and pop 2K members of EnSync, BB Mac, O Town, Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray, Ryan Cabrera. Ugh, it's just our dream lineup. Three days of activities, three nights of shows, all for $300. Tickets are available now at ladyworld. C-O. That's Ladyworld, L-A-D-Y-W-W-D-Y-W-D-O. But hurry up because they are really going fast. Lady World, presented by Elf Cosmetics, takes over Destin this September. I do want to talk about your IVF journey and future plans, because I love that you are still looking ahead, like you should, as you should. Yeah.

And I know there's like a pain and sadness and there's also hope and light. And so I love that you've been open also about IVF and being that being part of the plan. I only did egg freezing. So I think it's different from IBF. What is the main difference so that I don't actually get the egg fertilized? Right. So and that's the crazy part. And just for like full transparency for you is not all those eggs will make it.

Right. So when we first did it, I think we did, was it, it was like 16. 16 eggs, yeah. To start. And from 16 eggs to fertilization to making it to like the, I forget, like, sidelblast stage, which is like day five of like maturing. And then genetic testing. All of that.

We went from 16 eggs to two embryos. Yeah. So that's the difference that people don't realize is like sometimes people have like their eggs and like, oh, I'm good. I got 16 eggs. Yeah, I don't feel solid on that. I know that I'm happy I did it and I'm happy that I have eggs, but I'm also like, That doesn't mean they're good. When did you do it?

Were you private about it? No. I was 32, though. So this was eight years ago. Oh. Yeah. So prime eggs then. I got some prime eggs.

Nice. Yeah. Yeah, I was 32. I'm so glad I did it because Whitney, remember Whitney who got engaged to Crisles when I was on The Bachelor? She's a fertility nurse. And if anyone wants to follow her, she started her own little practice and I'm really proud of her called Lily.

And she is so knowledgeable and she was so helpful and so comforting. And she walked me through everything with freezing my eyes. And it was... Did you do it by yourself? I did it with Andy Dorfman. But like, you were having to shoot yourself with the shot? Yeah. He had to do that for me.

Well, Sean did it for me the very first time. We were at a wedding and I was like, we got to go upstairs and give me my needle. I'm scared. Oh. And so he did it for me. And then I was like, oh, I think I could do this. And then I did it. So badass.

I couldn't. I couldn't. Oh, after a while, I was like, m-wrint, right. Oh, my God. No. It was a whole thing with us. Yeah. He actually dressed up like a doctor once.

Once? Every time. Excuse me. Use me, Dr. Arcuri. No, it's Dr. Jeff. It's not really. God. Yeah, it dressed up like a doctor.

It was great. Yeah. But it was like a whole thing. Like I had to like lay down. I couldn't look. I'd like ice it. Yeah. You had to do the shots.

I have such a fear of needles. Oh. That if if I had to do anything by myself, I couldn't. I couldn't. I just. See, that got me over my fear. Actually, Botox got me over my fear of needles. But then the IV.

No, IV for the egg freezel. Freezing. But I remember. Remember, the shot that you do for retrieval week. The trigger one? Yeah, in the butt. Is that something like what you have to feel every month? I think it was in my butt.

But yes. Yes, it sucks. So where are you currently? So you have two good embryos? Yeah. Well, that's exciting. Yeah. Well, it is, but like also even then, you still have to have it implanted.

I won't be able to. We have to do surrogacy. Yeah. But two is great. Some people don't even get to, on their first try. Sometimes it takes multiple rounds. I don't even know that I could have done another round. Like it was such a emotional whirlwind.

Oh, yeah. It really is. I mean, on top of everything. Yeah, you want to talk about crazy. I think I was really crazy. No, you were fine, everything was perfect. Not even crazy. That's what I'm in my pocket.

Is there grief there too where you don't get to carry a baby? Or does that something that, because some people I feel like would want someone else to carry a child. And me personally, I'm like, that would be hard for me. Yeah, we've had a lot of conversations about it. And, like, there's all these, like, moments that, like, we, like, I feel like we won't get to have. But then he's very sweet and reminds me, like, we still can do that. We can still do, like, a baby shower. We can still, like, experience, like, finding out the news or even, like, a real of, like, oh, my God, like, we and our surrogate is pregnant, you know?

So he's very sweet about that. And, like, you said, there is, like, you're trying to view things in an optimistic way. So as great as it would have been to carry, like, my own child, there's also a lot that I, you know, can focus on my own personal health and healing my cancer versus, like, health of a child inside of it, you know? Right. Right. And so that's kind of the way we've looked at it. It's like, well, carrying a baby is a lot of freaking work. And my body, like, can't. Right. It needs to focus on itself. Healing. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So I go through, like, ebbs and flows. Like, I literally, this is crazy. I don't know if you know this, but I was watching the Twilight series. Yeah. And there's a scene where.

Bella, the fourth movie, she's pregnant and she's, like, literally, like, dying. Yeah. And the baby's, like, eating her from the inside, essentially. Which is what it is? I mean, yeah, kind of. Right. So it was, like, this very unexpected triggering moment for me where I was like, holy shit, like, look at it. Twilight Four, really saved our.

First of all, I think it's called, actually, I don't remember what it was. It's not like breaking dust or something. Oh my way for breaking dust Anyway eating body But you have these like weird moments So there's times when I'm like I'm good like I've accepted it And then there's times where I'm watching Twilight

And I'm like bawling my eyes Yeah yeah That's me I'm sure there's so many unexpected emotions that Yeah we're watching Handmaids tale right now Which was it's what I know As we're watching it we're like Why are we doing it?

Yeah that's also a very confusing thing Because again it's like this woman's carrying the baby yeah and then like the the the wife for what she called she has the baby shower even though like she's not like it's a whole it's a very mind-ficking show yeah but we we've never seen the whole series so we've been binging it right now yeah it's oh my god that is the last show i'd recommend i mean binge yeah oh it's even just yeah with this well him and i we don't we don't exposure therapy yeah kind of yeah it's we don't find shows often that we like at the same time yeah when we do we like

like full dive. Yeah, I mean, I love that. Have you watched Severance? We tried. We tried. She tried. She gives up on things. I'm sorry.

That's a show you need to watch four episodes. I have heard that. I've heard, yes. So we have to give a shot. I just, she'll watch a movie. Like, I'll be like,

I want to watch this movie. I've heard great things. It'll be like 18 minutes in. She'll go, I don't want to watch this. I'm done watching this. No, the last movie that happened to week. I gave an hour on the plane. It was an amazing movie.

What was it? Sinners. Sinners. It was like the, vampires Michael B. Jordan It was just in theaters I loved it

I thought it was so fun Michael B Jordan I'm like yes I love it But she was watching me And she's like it's stupid Or whatever you said We're on a plane And I'm like you literally

Can't even go anywhere There's nothing else to do I can't even go anywhere I don't want to finish this I'm like well I'm the girl that's sleeping before take off But I I cannot get through a movie on a plane

Not for that reason That's because I'm sleeping Oh yeah Yeah I will say when I was flying to go see him It was a long flight So I got the seats that lay down

And I listened to Because they have movies Bambi and Pocahontas With their headphones They have the best soundtrack For falling asleep Really? That sounds like something

That would put me to sleep Yeah, that's great Oh that's Bambi Another set one I recommend Oh my gosh Yeah severance I'm like so obsessed with it Right now I'm on season two

Oh season two is already out Uh huh And there was three years In between season one and season two And they said it's not going to be another three years, but I don't remember when season two ended, but I think more recently, I'm already so scared for it to end that I'm savoring each, like, like, I'll watch 10 minutes and then I'll like take a break because I'm like, I'm like, I'm so

obsessed with it. And I'll use chat GPT to help me like dissect each episode because it's so deep and so there's so much going on that if you miss 30 seconds, you've missed a big plot twist or something. And I go to chat in GPT, I'm like, help me break down this. What does this mean? Why is this character look like this character? And they're like, ooh, good eye. You've noticed because blah blah blah and i'm like so i'm like it reminds me of i had a friend who is so obsessed with game of thrones that he would watch it just to watch it and then he would watch it to like make notes and write anything that he missed and then he'd watch it for the third time just to take it all in as like oh how disappointing for him that the show like so many things ended up

un like at the end of the show so many things that were like i wonder where that character's going to come into play and they just never brought them back that happened dozens of times or Game of Thrones, which sucks. There's so many things that, I mean, it's an amazing series, but it was like, it ended so crappy for a lot of people. I wonder, I should ask, I don't really talk to him anymore. It was back in the day, but I wonder what he felt about the ending, but that's with Severance.

I'm like, I can't wait now after I've done all the chat. I'm going to go back and start from the beginning again because I'm like, I didn't even care about the first three episodes. Yeah, you guys should watch it though. We'll try. Yeah. I'll do it without you if you don't enjoy me. I know you will.

I need you to give another shot. Put your phone down. Yeah, that's the main thing that I, need to do is put my phone down during it and actually get into it because you will after I would say episode five is when I was like I'm in you know there's a phrase I don't know the title or what it's called but because people are now watching shows and on their phone at the same time some of the dialogue has to account for that so they'll say like I'm walking into the store right now so that even if you're not watching you are you know oh my gosh the industry has had to shift to people no don't encourage that industry well because otherwise people change that industry well because otherwise people check out because they're on their phone. So you got to somehow like keep them, keep them involved, even if they are watching. I mean, I am part of the problem. I'm definitely part of that problem. I, yeah. But I do put my phone. Maybe that's why I like severance too is because I'm like, I'm really in it. Yeah. And I'm paying attention. I'm looking for little signs like, oh,

I'm in it. I'm in it. So obviously you guys have just so much in the works and building a life and career and future and everything publicly. So what are some projects or things that you're working on that you, well, I guess you can't share it yet publicly. we semi shared it comedy and your job and everything brings you so much joy what are you doing for your like what brings you joy right now if it's a project if it's something else like you know i think i'm truly trying to figure that out like what is my thing you know what am i doing next what do i want to do next sometimes it's as casual is like just enjoying life you know yes so i don't really know i mean i kind of love that though i do yeah i do i think something i want to do and i haven't fine tuned it yet and i don't I don't even, we haven't even talked about this, but somehow I want to, like, document some kind of series or like, I don't know, where it's not about like kicking the bucket. People are like, oh, what's your, what's on your bucket list? You know, because that's before you kick the bucket.

I don't want it to be like, what's your one big thing? Yeah. I want it to be like, what are you focused on that makes you feel like you're living every day? Yeah. And it's going like the smaller things, you know? We really don't do that until something bad happens. Right. And then everyone's like, oh, I guess I'm doing my one big thing and I'm going to climb out Everest,

you know, but it's like, no, like, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, do like a couple's dance this week and let's go to the thrift like like reminding yourself how to live and enjoy like those such little simple things in life and I think that's something I want to want to do is that's figure out how to like everybody needs that inspire that yeah I mean because you do you already do a good job with social media to inspire others and to like find those little joys but yeah doing it on a bigger scale or seeing what you can do with that's cool and traders if anyone's listening yeah oh and traders yeah and Disneyland and Disneyland Disneyland and Traders.

You owe it to me. They really do. I am resentful. I will say that. No, we will make that. It's impacting my own journey. I'm coming with you. Do you guys ever talk about working together on anything?

We've joked about that. We've teased it. But yeah, I don't know. I think if it hits us, it'll hit us. Yeah. Yeah. We've talked about doing like a podcast together. I actually could see you two really working well together.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, she's way. she's we compliment each other well yeah like we joke around that we sit on the way here that i'm like i'm go with the flow and she's like a river raft guide where she's like is everyone strapped in we have everything we need and i'm just on the tube backwards going down the river yeah yeah i'm just balance i'm very that and i think that's like and she's very organized and stuff so i i would just worry about like you know mixing business with it where i you know because we get like we like to also come home and complain about the people that are affected our day and I'd hate for us to have each other yeah yeah yeah I think in a world where we could like show up like clock in clock out I think would be like in a perfect world because then like he's not having to edit I'm not having to stress about post like we're just like I hate to say like the talent but like let let us just exist as us yeah and let everything else around us figure out how to like do that yeah you know he's also

talked about, like, video game streaming and stuff. I told her she needs to. She's so funny when we play video games. It's a hobby that she... What? Skirt? You play video games? Yeah. Yeah. It's a hobby she picked up for me that I love. And she loves it, like certain little, like, cozy

games and stuff, like Star Doe Valley, like those games, she loves them. Yeah. But I will say the more intense games that are a little more like, um, like jumping or things like that. Jumping. So scary. Well, when there's timing involved, yeah, yeah. You get so nervous.

Like she yelps, she yells, she screams, she gets so into it that I laugh. I laugh so hard that I'm like, that's what people

would love to see is like you experiencing a game for the first time. You would, people love to see that. That is funny. Promise.

Oh yeah, you should do that. Again, like maybe I will, but like I'm so tired all the time. Oh, you can't sit down and play video games.

I'll show. That's what I'm saying. I'll show up and do it and then whoever else needs to behind the scenes can That's what I'm saying is, like, the amount of funny things that you would happen, especially because you are also good with managing multiple things, multitasking, where you can look at a chat.

And that's why I stopped streaming is because they would, the reviews after we were like, you forgot we were there. I'm like, yeah, because I'm like playing a video game, dude, or I'm talking to my friends. Sometimes even on like an Instagram live, I'll like, then I actually realize I'm like, I'm really good at just talking to nobody because I could just get lost in an Instagram live and then forget I'm even talking to be. And then I think I'm in, like, a room of people and I'm by myself. And I'm just like, and I just don't know how to call it quits. I don't know how to say goodbye. I'm like, all right. Well, see you later.

It's always so awkward to you because you're trying to, where do I end this thing? You're just like, ugh. Yeah. And I'm like, I hate goodbyes. I'm just like, always so awkward about it. But that's funny. You should do live straight. I would watch that.

Yeah. I mean, we'll see. I'll see. I'm trying to figure it out guys. Or do you get Sims. Play Sims. Yeah. I used to love Call of Duty.

Oh, yeah. I love it. call of duty oh my last question is no i have two more questions one is what are you both really proud of i'm proud of how mostly about how she is not only going through this but like excelled through this you know you've not only like done like i i joked with her about like if this were to happen to me she would be doing just as much work she'd be organized the appointments like doing all the things she's she's doing that all for herself she's doing an insane amount of research out to all these people doing podcasts things like that i would have shut down and been like

tell the doctor to come to me i don't want to do anything anymore i would have been a big baby about that with you yeah i think of the same thing i'm i think i even said it on a podcast i was like i would shut down and i would be so scared and i wouldn't want to do research and i'd feel sorry for myself and i would like i think i would not have a good like i don't know my my strength would definitely be tested with my own self and yeah you're you're very that's a good point. That was the hardest part was when we didn't know what to do yet is when she didn't have that control. It was really hard to remind her like, hey, we just have to wait. And there's nothing you can do, but you have to wait. But then once she started getting any inkling of

like what she has and how to deal with it, she's like carrots are good. And then the next day we have a freezer full of carrots. Like we have a juicing machine and like all this stuff that she's just just tackling it. Yeah, that's good for you. Yeah. It's crazy how hard you work for this when I would have done the opposite. Yeah. Well, I will bounce off of that because I think the only way I've been able to even do that is like, he, he is something I'm most proud of. Like, I will start crying.

Oh, no, stop. Don't cry. Like, the way that he has, like, shown up and, like, in a world that he is not familiar and, like, he doesn't know how to show up for a cancer patient, you know, especially one who's his wife. He has just made so many sacrifices and has so much for me and has, like, learned and adapted and like it's something is i don't this to me was like felt like a relief he was like this year i'm just going to pay our rent like i want you to just like focus on your health and your medical

you know yeah like it's just like gestures like that that are just like i know like not everybody would would do and i don't even like financially i just mean like emotionally he's been there as such a rock and i any cancer patient i don't like you cannot do it alone yeah you know whether that's family or friends or community that you're relying on and i am so so so so blessed to have like this like rock like within arms reach like during my whole entire like experience with this well i love that because i have obviously like saw you seen you go through things with relationships and just like life and that shows a whirlwind of itself that don't get me started so i'm so happy that you guys have each other because it's like you know you just

like see someone that you care about and you can actually just genuinely tell that that's like love and happiness and you just go oh it's just so i feel that with you too and Yeah, we, we, I, yeah, it reminds me every day how much we love each other and how much we laugh to. Remember when I fell down? I forgot about, it was just like the hardest we've ever, we've laughed in so long. We're on the floor laughing together because I was chasing my dog, like, as for fun. And the carpet that she got, she got a carpet, like for our hallway. Yeah, long haul.

And it's not taped down. So I went to jump on it to scare our dog. and the rug just went out and I fell on my face and then he got scared at the loud noise and peed and she went to see if I was okay so she slipped on the pee on the way to me and she was like there's pee you felt what the hell's going on in this house

and then I couldn't get up because I was last it was just like a moment like that those were the moments I love yeah the little glimmers I think of their yeah that's because people always look for the triggers and when you start looking for the glimmers it really is like yeah that's a beautiful moment It's like so stupid but so meaningful at the same time.

Yeah. And I will say falling in your late 30s feels like a whole different level of like... The hell? What the hell was that? Did you break a hip? I mean, you felt hard. I was fine. I think if you were 20, it would have been a very different outcome. The hell is this?

It took a turn. It was a cute moment and you're like, and he's old. I'm in my 30s too. Wait, how old are you? I'm 30. I'm almost 38 now. No, I in turn, yeah, but in terms of like, you were genuinely you were worried worried I didn't know that that's why you were that's why you ran

over he did not get up he did not get up for like he was laughing I didn't see that because he was face down in the ground first yeah it was a hard fall and it wasn't like a oh my bad and you know like he was just flat and I was like he died he died oh my god that's yeah that's funny Pauling's funny it is there's something always yeah I felt this is actually so embarrassing I was, this was yesterday. I'm such a freak sometimes. I overpacked a carry-on. Like, I can't believe I got that thing zipped up.

And I was on one of the smallest planes and trying to get my bag in the overhead compartment with these nails. Oh, God. And I was like doing it so awkwardly. And then, so anyways, and I don't like people helping me because I'm such a freak in that way. I got, I could do it. I can do it myself. Sure. And so, and so, and people are just watching me struggle.

And so I was like, like, holding up. line. Yeah. And I finally got it in. Okay, whatever. So then getting it out was a whole other story. And people started laughing because I could not get this bag out. And then they're like, hey, your bag's unzipped there. And I was like, yeah, there's no zipping that up. I shoved as much as I could. And everyone's laughing. And I'm just a disaster. And I'm trying to pull it out. And then I go, oh, my nail. And then I get it down. Then everybody's watching me. I was wearing flip flops and socks like a dumb ass. And my foot slipped out of the sandal and then tried to go right back in. And I fell with all my bags. My bag fell. I fell. And then I was like, I just got up and I went, you got to laugh at yourself, right? Oh. And then I kept going because I was like, that was funny.

No, I was trying to just like be calm, cool, collected. And I just was not. And I fell along with my bags. And then I said, that's what you get for wearing. It was these, slides with socks. You don't do that. That's a vibe. I love slides with socks.

It is a vibe. Like, the older I get, the more I dress like what people like make fun of, like, dad's dressing at. Yeah. I'm the most comfortable. I actually feel my sexiest when I'm dressed homeless chic. Truly. Yeah.

That's the Gen Z look, right? It is the Gen Z look. But I'm like, okay, stop trying, Caitlin. You're like, when do we stop? Like, I'm like, you could dress however you. I'm going to dress like this for the rest of my life. I hope I'm 90 looking like a, what are they going to call that generation? Gen A, Gen B.

When the new kids are coming? I think it's restarting now. Yeah. If there's, what, alpha, beta. Gen Alpha is right now. Yeah, alpha. And then beta. And I don't know.

It's after that. We don't have to. Thank you so much for just being an open book and for being you. And thank you for treating her the way that she deserves. Hey, any time. And thank you for the laughs because you're funny. Thanks. Where can they follow you to follow, like to know?

Just like if you might, uh, Instagram is where I post more my personal stuff, photos of our dog, uh, stuff like, not photos, but like my Instagram is where I post like my stories of like, Oh, is TikTok more like? No, but I post to like, I post to every social media. I just kind of post the ghost. I don't really, like, maintain it. Yeah.

So I just post, like, the clips that I make. But Instagram is usually where people find me the most. Yeah. At J-A-R-C-U-R-C-R-C-E. J-R-C-C-R-C-E. I love it. And Katie, where can they follow you in your journey? Instagram, the Katie Thurston.

Because I hate saying the Katie Thurston. Why? Because it's not, like, I wish I could have just had Katie Thurston. Was it taken? Someone took it. And she's active. So I can't even be like, hey. Oh, damn.

Can I have it? Yeah, that's not like a common name either. I know. I know what to get you for Christmas. Do it. Buy her. No, because it's going to be K or K. Curie.

Ah, you get it. Are you changing your last name? I don't think she should. I honestly don't. I think she's created a brand for herself and it'll be doing a self of a disservice. It's my name. I know.

So keep it. It's yours. I'm going to change mine. Look. Yeah. Jeff Thurston. Do you? I like that.

Jeff Thurston for you. I have the option. It's on our, it's on our, what is it? Marriage certificate. Yeah. When the time is right. But with everything going on, like politically, I don't want to change, like, my passport.

Well, my mom will tell you to not change your last name because, not because it's not like sweet and romantic and all the things. But it's, she went to go renew her passport. She needed her divorce papers with her, then her birth certificate from her maiden, like, all these things. She had to call my dad and be like, can you send me the divorce papers? Wow. Yeah.

Luckily, they have a good relationship, but. It's a process to change your name, whether it's through marriage or divorce. and like it's so much a process that there's companies that you can pay to do it and I'm just not it's not top of my list maybe never now

no it doesn't matter you don't need to do it I want you to have whatever you want you know I'm not that guy that's like take my name yeah you can always just keep your name

and that's your brand and that's who you are but you can like call yourself or like put it on our Wi-Fi the Arcarees well thank you again and thank you

and that was fun yeah Hi, I'm Adam Rippon, and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent-free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments, I probably should have kept to myself nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid-flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that. There might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I?

Unclear. But if you've ever laid awake at night, cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations, you found your people. Intrusive thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcasts. This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of Cinema is here.

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