Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Kelly Osbourne: Self-Love and Self-Sabotage

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders A woman we all know, love, and admire from the original reality TV family joins Kaitlyn on the pod to talk about everything from dog rescues to personality disorders to her new incredible podcast. Kaitlyn was so excited (and nervous) to have Kelly join her on the mic that she reveals what happened pre-podcast… and it might lead to Kelly’s new favorite sweatshirt!? As always, Kelly keeps things raw and vulnerable as she tells Kaitlyn about a recent fat-shaming comment from a friend, why she hates feeling feelings and always prefers the facts and what listeners can expect from her new podcast with best friend Jeff Beacher. You can find Kelly on IG at @kellyosbourne  Find Kelly’s podcast, The Kelly Osbourne and Jeff Beacher Show, wherever you listen to podcasts!  APARTMENTS.COM - Go to Apartments.com. The most popular place to find a place. STRAIGHT TALK - With Straight Talk Wireless you can get a Samsung Galaxy A51 for just $199. Plus, get the 45-dollar unlimited talk, text, and data plan with NO contract on America’s best networks for up to fifty percent less! PILL CLUB - Right now, when you go to thepillclub.com/vine, The Pill Club is offering a $10 donation to Bedsider.org for every OTV listener who becomes a patient BOLL & BRANCH - Off The Vine listeners get an exclusive 15% off your first set of sheets with promo code vine15 at bollandbranch.com HYUNDAI - Check out the new 2022 Tucson at Hyundai.com OXICLEAN - Go to Oxiclean.com/tryme and order a free stain fighting sample GEICO - Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much YOU could save See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Hey, everybody, you're listening to Caitlin Bristow's podcast, Off the Vine.

Take it away, Bree. Wine. Lots of wine. Hey, be on the mic, turn it up. Let's go. Hey, ramen, Pino, ready for the show. Everyone's welcome. So come on in because OTV is about to begin.

Hey. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today's guest is someone who literally does not. require an intro because I think that every single one of you, every person in the world knows who she is, whether you watched her family's reality TV show back in the early 2000s, know who her rock icon dad is or have even just heard of her name before you know of her. I got to interview Kelly Freakin Osborne and it was a true delight.

This woman was born famous and really has not known anything different. But beyond that, she is an extremely intelligent, driven, fierce, and determined woman who has overcome so much living in the spotlight from day one. I'm talking negative press, what her childhood was like, how hard it was, favorite or not so favorite memories from being in the spotlight her whole life, battles with addiction, her commitment to sobriety and how she has dealt with paparazzi and media her entire life. I'm really, really excited for you guys to listen to this one with the one and only Kelly Osborne. You look so beautiful, and I'm, like, in a beanie and, like, no makeup on and, like, in my sweats.

If that's you with no makeup on, then. You look beautiful. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. So do you. I always friggin love your hair. It's incredible. I'm so excited to talk to you, too.

And I just learned something because, so my dog right here, Pino. Aw. He, I rescued him from South Korea. And your mom follows them on social media. Like the, where we rescued him from. Oh, no way. So me and my dog did this campaign against the Yulin Meat Festival down there where they kill all the dogs every year.

And then through that animal rescue, I guess, is how I ended up doing the campaign. Oh, my God. That's, what a small world. That's, what kind of dog is your dog? Is it the mix? I have, okay, so I have food. Come here. And to me.

So this is my rescue baby that I rescued for the beginning of the pandemic. Oh, sweetie. It's the sweetest thing I've ever like, I love her anything. She's like quite in my life. Oh, my gosh. She knows that she's rescued and I sleep with her every night. Like, it's like, it's crazy. Like, I don't know how when things start getting back to normal like it is now.

how I'm going to go back to like not being with them all the time because I've become really attached. I know. I feel like both the dogs and humans through this time have both got so attached to one another and realize the joy that they bring to their lives too that you're like, oh my gosh, I want to stay home with them all the time. Like, look at that little sweetie. And mine's the same. Pino's like 55 pounds

and sleeps on my head every night. They do know they're rescued. Like she is the craziest thing. I get up to go for a Pee in the night. she follows me she comes back and she doesn't just sleep next to me she sleeps like on top of me and she's just like she's not she is she small enough to travel with yeah just small enough I'm so jealous because they used to travel with me I have two and they used to travel with me all the time and then all the airlines took away emotional support animals and they haven't you just

have to go through a new system to clarify it yeah Wait, you just changed my life, really? Yeah, they haven't. It's just you have to, like, each airline has their own protocol now. It's not like a blanket statement protocol. And you have to meet their protocols and whatnot. So I know I can do American Airlines with them because I did the, like, government-issued emotional support. Because, like, I didn't, before I did it and I was like, I'm lying.

I wasn't lying and I actually don't know how to function without them now I am I feel you on that I feel like I'm the exact same way I was filming for I think two months and they came with me for the first half

and then left the second half and I was like why am I crying every day why am I feeling so low and I'm like oh my God it's because I don't have my dogs beside me and I came home and I was perfectly fine like I am 100% codependent with my animals. Yeah, and I think that's okay. I go to dinner and I'm like, guys, I'm not feeling

well, I'm going to go out. I don't, I feel fine. I just want to get back to my dogs. I totally feel the same way. My boyfriend who, like, wasn't, I mean, he was always a dog person, but he wasn't attached like this. He was like, those dogs aren't sleeping in the bed and like, this isn't going to happen. And then as soon as we had them for five days, I think I gave him, they were in the bed that he's the same way. He wants to, he's like a, he loves to go out, go to dinner. I stopped dating a guy because he wouldn't let the dogs in the room. And I'm like, no. No, that's, I mean, that's a red flag. One thousand percent. I'm not doing this. I'm like, I'm like, I'm done. I totally feel that. Congrats on your new podcast. I know that you and Jeff

have been making your rounds. Are you loving the podcast life? I am. I think that the community is really awesome. I'm really honored to be a part of it now. And I like how everyone supports each other. it's really nice. I agree. That's a good point. I feel like it is a very supportive community. And what I think is awesome about it is that the reason is, like, you create your own little world within your podcast and forget to tap it and tap out whenever they want to.

And, you know, podcasts only work because of the fan base. Otherwise, like, it's not like you can put tons of advertising money behind it and then people might notice it. You either have it or you don't. And so it's scary well to enter in to because people don't know when a podcast is going to pick up or not. Like I think we've seen, especially in the last six months, a bunch of people have come out with podcasts and they have just disappeared. Yeah. It's so interesting though, because people really have to connect with you because they're listening to your conversation. And I feel like, especially in, I mean, things are starting to go back, but people aren't commuting as much as they used to. And

people, but people are also craving community and connection right now. So it's, it's definitely an interesting time to have a podcast, but I mean, I am going to listen to yours all the time. And I feel like you've, first of all, you've been in entertainment for so long in your life. You were such an icon to like me and my friends growing up even. And I mean, the show, the Osbournes. You guys were like the first people that did the reality TV show thing, like the originals. It was definitely...

The first and definitely weird to be a part of that whole world because I was just trying to figure out who I was, trying to be myself. And it just kept getting more and more scrutinized and every single thing. And then I totally went inward and got lost for a while. Yeah. I mean, to me that makes sense because I went on TV on The Bachelor and I was like a 30-year-old woman and got lost. and like had to navigate my way through that and having everybody's opinion. Now, you're on a much different scale.

And from the second you were born, you were born into fame and the public eye. And I feel like anyone that was going through that. I feel more for your experience than mine because mine, they didn't set up. Do you know what I'm saying? They put you into situations in TV shows like that without zero preparation or understanding of what's going on.

And we as women, when there's a guy involved, get real territorial because it goes back to that natural animalistic sense of like, that's my territory. I'm pissing on it. And it's like I find myself doing that in my relationship now. And I'm like, why am I doing that? This is the most solid thing I've ever been in. And it's because that's the way I used to have to be. And I'm carrying it on to this relationship.

And it's like, no, I'm not doing that. Hi. Well, I mean, when you when you live a certain way your whole life, it's going to take a certain period of time to change that way of thinking. I mean, I was just at my therapist's office this morning talking to her about this, about how I've changed so much in the last eight years from doing therapy and, and I mean, still suffer from so many things. But working on myself and through that, I've learned so much about myself, but still have the same patterns that I go back to in relationships, in family things. It's still, it's still there. It's something you're constantly. have to work on and remind yourself every single day and and breaking those patterns can be really really hard well next to impossible i'll find myself knowing i'm in it in the moment i'm like i'm in it i'm in that thing right now you're in it you can't get out because you fell down the rabbit hole and you're like i know i'm totally in a rabbit hole right now and something one person said to me that was so mean and even though they apologize and i know that they're sorry the damage is done and it's going to take me at least a day to come back from it like you can i don't know if

you can tell what i'm crying like an hour before i'm serious like i just keep reliving it and i'm like i feel that well okay have you done any sort of are you in the like personality test or do you know okay so i'm not all about it because i was like it got to be something wrong with me i have to have a personality disorder so like i've gone through like like every single one attachment and avoidance, whether it's like borderline, dual personality disorder, like every single one, I'm like, do I have it? Do I have it? And my therapist is always like, stop looking for a disorder. Your disorder is you. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. You have those moments. I had one of those today, too. The, oh, yeah. Okay. But that's, I mean, I'm going to show you the. I mean, I'm going to show you the. picture I took at my therapist office this morning because when I get in these things that we all do, it's like there's eight core feelings. Yeah. Oh my God. Do you read any P-Melody? No, should I? Okay. Yes. So she breaks down the feelings and then the ways to communicate.

So there's like facing codependency. There's like there's all different like chapters in her books. different areas her books focus on yeah the way that she breaks it down i always find to be the most like i it sinks in yes i need things broken down for me all the time so that would help me i love her books like okay i'm going to write that one down actually i'm sure my her name's minnie we call her minnie she's she's the podcast producer my niece's name is minnie really yeah Minnie. Oh, that's... After the dog from the show, might I add?

After what show? Osborne. My mom... Oh, Osborne. Oh, I thought you said from a specific show. I was like, what? Yeah, no. So she's named after Minnie.

No way. And then I was like, Jack, didn't we also have a dog named Pearl? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, you need to stop naming your children after our dog. And he's like, I love them so much. I know, I get it. And then I was like, well, if I had kids,

I'd probably do the same thing, too. I mean, if I did, I'd have two kids named Brahmin and Pino. Yeah, Pino would be a great day for a kid. Pino, like what? Here's my kid, Coke. That's hilarious. I feel like I love them that much, though, that I get that. I'm like, I mean, if it was, I might think about it.

It's so interesting, though, just because you're the same way. You're very self-aware of your emotions and how you're feeling in a certain situation. but you don't hold them back. And that's very much like myself as well, because I always tell everyone it's so important to like acknowledge that maybe what you're thinking feels, you know, like you're crazy. Maybe how you're feeling you know when you're in it and you're already in the rabbit hole. But like to feel your feelings and be honest about it is one of the most beautiful things I think

that you could do in life is feel them. So I like that. See, well, I'm glad that you find it beautiful. I find it dangerous. And it's like the core of all of my problems because I hate stealing. Because when I'm too happy, I don't deserve it. When I, like, I'm self-sabotage. I do it all the time.

I am like the queen of self-sabotaging. Like, I have to, like, really, like, stop myself from doing it. But like, okay, so I have this rule. Like, I don't know if you've learned about, like, the brain and how it works when you are in heightened, like, when you. your central nervous system. Like an impaired way of thinking and the healthy way of thinking. So when your central nervous system is like heightened because you're emotional,

you think with your limbic brain. With like instant responses, like got to protect, the walls are up and you're just like, you're just attacking. It's like fight or flight mode. And when you're thinking from like a centered place, you're thinking from the frontal cortex of your brain. so I'm always because of like my past trauma in life and like just the childhood I had and everything like my my brain instantly goes to the limbic state all the time and I'm in like fight or flight

mode which is like a horrible place to be in so I do this thing now where I'm like okay two hours I'm gonna put a two hour timer on my phone I am not addressing anything for two hours because in two hours I know because I've got such bad ADHD and I'm so high and I can't sit still and I go into a million little thoughts and like I talk so foxed and like I'm annoying I get it but like I get it like trust me like it's a lot because I'm the girl that wakes up and I'm like good morning and he's like don't speak to me until I've had my coffee you know I'm that way yeah so I go to do the two-hour time thing so that I can be come to it in a place where I can never be angry or raise my voice or say something that I haven't thought out

because that's where I get in trouble because I am impulsive. I'm on a lower scale net, but I'm also impulsive where, same thing with my boyfriend. I'll wake up and I'm literally like, he's that. He's like, let's go. What are we doing today? We'll check the checklist and blah. And I'm always like, I need to ease into my day. but I'm also impulsive with my feelings.

So I need to set a two-hour timer. Like the two-hour timer trick really helps me. And like no one told me to do it. It's something that I have just learned through trial and error that it is not good for me to address certain things when I'm not in a good place to talk about it because I will ramble and it's like I get myself into a tizzy.

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with Eye Gaming Ontario. I always want to know questions like this with coming into the world already in the spotlight and having a show based around your family. Like, that's, is there anyone? Like, I think about the Britney Spears documentary. And I'm like, I don't know her personally, obviously. But like, in my opinion, it looks like she has not dealt with it because she wasn't able to in certain ways. I feel like even though you're saying like, okay, that's, I find it hard, but you find it beautiful. you still are dealing with it.

It sounds like in a way where you want to just stay true to yourself through it all. When you get brought up in chaos, you go one way or another. And you spiral into a personality disorder or drug addiction or whatever it may be. And I got all of them. I got the eating shit. I got the body dysmorphia. I got the drug addiction while alcoholism. like all of it the whole kitten caboodle like i am the cliche it's just you get one shot yeah you get

one shot in life and i learned to hold on to facts so i become sick because it's the only thing that is real because everything else is so insane and you never know what's going to happen tomorrow and you know when you die you can't take anything with you so you get you get like one shot into this so i'm one of those people that holds onto facts so when somebody tries to rewrite the truth for me that is a huge trigger and it like can send me crazy so that's i think right now that i'm really trying to work on that's good i like i'm this i'm always a big fact person because you like you said that's a good way of putting it it's the one thing that's real like it's the one thing you can count on is a fact and like that's why i love watching like crime scene analysis shows because it's real it's not

BS and that's how they figure it out and like you get it all obsessed with like like what would you do if someone's trying to come in and murder you so learn all these like weird tricks like like we get like psychosit like that I you know I also have crazy OCD so that doesn't know I have been doing I'm 36 now I've been in the world of TV and entertainment since I was 15 years old gosh you know it started when i was 12 but i was really in it at 15 and you know everyone said it would only last 15 minutes well i'm still here and it's because of the people who bought my albums watch my tv shows buy my products it's and i never ever want to lie to that if somebody is believing in me because of my so journey to sobriety or um well what

Whatever it may be, I'm allowed to change my mind because I'm human, but I'm never, ever, ever going to lie about where I'm at because I think it's unfair to the people. Then you're just a con artist. I appreciate that. I think that's something that I appreciate when I see it in others, and that's something that I tried to do from coming off Bachelor World. I was like, I'm probably going to piss people off.

I'm probably going to, people are going to love me or hate me. I'm going to be one of those people, but like, I'm one of those people. People either love me or they hate me. Yes. And that's okay. Like, it's kind of cool to know that you ruffle people's feathers because it makes you wonder, what is it about that?

Yeah. That's so true. You'd like to dig into them and who they are. But I always just remember Kurt Cobain saying that he would rather be hated for who he was than loved for somebody that he wasn't. And that's always stuck with me. And I was like, I'm going to live by that because I just loved that quote. that way of living so much that it stuck with me for so long. And I feel like you're kind of

the same way. And I mean, there's so many, there are so many people that love you and because of your honesty and because of how you're so open with everything. But you've dealt with such a lifetime of also negative media. And I remember hearing you say, I think it was on Dak Shepard's podcast about, like, there's so many things that people could have hated you for. But you said the number one thing was always because of your weight. And I think still to the state, people, you know, obviously will forever struggle with body image and dysmorphias and certain things like that. Oh my God, you have no idea. The thing that I was crying about is that somebody that I really care about fat shames me. No. Yeah. And I was just like, whoa. Wait, really? I'm like,

we don't, like, we're friends and all, but like, you don't ever get to talk to me about what food I eat and what I don't because you have no idea what you have just treated. Yes. And having to break that down to somebody who, like, has been, like, skinny and perfect their whole life. Yeah. It's like, like, that doesn't have a food issue. It's like, I'm like, you have no idea what you just did. You have no idea. You have no idea. Yeah. It, like you said, triggers. Like, it's such a triggering thing. There's so many, you know, things. Oh, I went through.

This is how you're disgusting, you do not deserve food. I went to the whole thing of it. And it's like, and even though they apologize and they're really sorry, I mean, she's never, it just never occurred to her, but. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't have to be intentional. It wasn't intentional, but it still has that impact on you that's going to make you go to a dark place. I think it might have been intentional. I just didn't think she thought it would hurt as much as it.

Okay, that's even worse. I know. It scares me if people can intentionally trigger somebody like that. It was, no, the, the, the, the cackiness behind it was intentional. I don't think they're intentionally trying to trigger me. Okay, okay. That's still awful, but that makes more sense. Oh, my God, like, after going through a relapse, starting to feel good again, and now you're going to that baby.

I'm like, no. Yeah, because. Figure any more of my insombs. I'm already so f*** up. please i mean that's that's the thing though is with with triggers is they can just send you backwards so quickly or someone can say one thing and and like you said no some some people don't understand that yeah and so that's one of the things that i'm really learning right now is that i sign myself up to do more cognitive therapy so that i can learn how to retrain my thought patterns

and like stop it before it gets through that place of no return yeah it's just so interesting that that's still happening in this, I mean, I don't think it'll ever go away, but it's just still such a thing is that, like, I'm nervous to go back on TV because I know everything will be focused on my looks. It won't be the empowering stuff I'm doing. Why is it every article you ever read online is, um, let's just say, it'll be like, Kelly, 36 years old. Why as women do you need to put our ages on that? But for men, you do not do that. Like, that's one thing that I'm like, okay, I can tell by your bullsack net that you are at least 75, but why don't we put in your age on that, mister? Why is your Hollywood movie star?

But, but why is it? What, like, don't these people feel so much shame writing these articles or doing these things when we're living in a time where I feel like people are talking more about mental health and, like, shaming and stuff around it? yeah, magazines are still driving that message into our brains of what bodies should look like, what age we should look at every, people tell me all the time, I was on TV when I was 29 when I was on The Bachelor, then 30. Now I'm turning 36 next month. And everyone's like, oh, you look old or you look different. They expect me to look the same as when I did when I was 29. Okay, so I have the flip side of that where everyone still thinks I'm 16. Right. Like everyone that, like, everyone that like, like, I get patted by people.

I'm like, bitch, I'm older than you. Good job, sweetie. I'm like, what are you? I'm like, I'm like, so weird. People see me as a kid still. I'm like, which has its whole other, a whole other side of problems because then people probably don't take you seriously in some things like.

Like, okay, so I go, one of the things that I do is I do scratch cards with my friend. We do it once a week. and then like we have like traditions and what we do if we get certain things like most of the time if it's a big amount of money we donate it and whatever and so I went to go buy the scratch cards

and had no makeup on in sweatpants and my hair and pig tails they fucking ID checked me I was like thank you I know you just like I'm going to come here all the time even though it's like

no you're there every day now you want that those are the people that are going to get your business I'd go right back to that spot too. I was saying, thank you so much. And then when people ID you and they see your name, are they like, oh. Well, okay, so no, that sounds what's happening right now. Because my ID expired before I got my fat surgery and started losing weight.

So I don't look like me. I literally look like me like this. So they look at it and they look at me and they look at it and it's me. I've lost weight. And then they go into, congratulations. And I'm like, oh, can we just kiss me off from this?

Thank you. I'm great. When did you go through that surgery? 2018. Was it a hard surgery to do? Or was the recovery okay? So the whole process is a complete life change. So I did one year of therapy before

because I wanted to get myself into, you know, I have eating issues. So I've been. or I don't eat at all. So I have to be really careful. So I had to make sure that going into this, like I was really in the good place of knowing,

like I can never binge again. Like it's impossible to binge. If you binge, you will get really sick. And if you don't eat the right amount of proteins, like it is, like it is, you have to be very vigilant. it's a lot of work but it reset everything in your body in a way okay so when you go and you do it if you go to a good place there's all sorts of protocols like you have to meet with the nutritionist and then you have a their therapist that you have to go and see and then you have a support group

that of the people that are going through the surgery around the same time as you so that you have people to be like is this working for you is that not working for you so that you know people that go through it too because it's it's like so far from everything you know like you go from being able to eat however much of whatever you want whenever you want to like small meals otherwise your stomach stretch like you can't drink if you have this surgery you can't be a big drinker in all because alcohol hits you differently because you metabolize it different and um i learned that the far away yeah um the best lessons are always learned the hard way Yeah, but it's great to know now because I know I can't drink anymore.

I wouldn't really die. If my stomach would stretch, I would get really sick. Like, I have friends that did this surgery, had a drinking problem, continue drinking, and they lost their teeth. Oh, my gosh. You have to be careful. Yeah. Yeah, there's no in-between area. It's so you have to stay in this lane.

You have to stay in this lane. You have to do it, or you gain it all back again. Yeah, yeah. yeah and all back again yeah and you don't have the extra things that were in your stomach lining and the hormones that they've cut out that would help you right well like that so it is a serious decision you have to make but it's the best decision i ever made because i am free from my obsession with wanting to sell soup with food constantly i mean i have my bad days, but the constant of it is gone.

Like, it's life-changing. Yeah, it was like, thank you. Like, you've no idea what a gift that was for me. And then you now have a trigger from it and feel like a bit set back. You're like, oh, this sucks. Yeah, it's, you feel like defeated almost. Like, what did I do? Yeah, that's, I'm so

sorry that happened to you, especially today. I'm sorry that you have to know. Be on. I was just like, oh. I'm so sorry. And they probably, like, have no idea what they did. So are you in a place with that friend where you could say, like, I just cried for two. My first thing was, this is a hard line in the sand. You are never allowed to talk to me about food again.

Yeah. Okay, good. I love, I feel like you know your boundaries. I might. Nope. Yeah. Moving forward, we're good, but you are never allowed to talk to me about food again. One of my best friends, her name's Erin Trelaw, and I used to work with her before I even went on

the Bachelor because I loved what she was. was doing and she started this program called Raw Beauty Talks. And it's one of my favorite accounts to follow on Instagram because as you're scrolling and, you know, seeing everybody's best self, it's just such a nice refresh of realness. And it celebrates all women's bodies, shapes, colors, sizes, everything. And she has like a whole nonprofit organization and she hosts seminars and I've worked with her a few times and I'm doing like a 12 week reset with her where it's not like limiting food and it's not it's like a being in tune with your body and how things make you feel and her account is just so wonderful I feel like you would enjoy following it

it's so interesting because when you have this surgery you really learn what your food allergies are because after you eat it you'll start sneezing it's really really so you know what your like intolerances are yeah like every day like I keep a little thing of it of like things that I'm like that I think this makes me sneeze I think this interesting it doesn't work for me like red meat now can't eat really so your body's like naturally just telling you what makes it feel good working and what is not and like like I have to be I can't eat soy because it just makes me like completely bloat and feel heavy and gives me a headache

and I'm not sneezing and it's bad like the number one is bread oh really like when I just start sneezing what if it's like gluten-free then I actually haven't tried that I should try that

oh gluten-free bread tastes like shit it's true it's like like cardboard yeah that's true and then you're like I'm just gonna go eat the bed and then that right now i want a pretzel kick ooh oh i love a i used to live in germany i love a good pretzel but it but it's like the little ones oh okay the like the little snack pretzels three ones that like i'm obsessed with those are good and it and it doesn't affect your stomach

no oh good it's like it's actually quite soothing that's that's actually kind of a nice you know that's probably another part of why this was so life-changing for you to have that surgery is because is it's giving you a better relationship with food to know what makes you feel good and what doesn't. And that's such a good mindset for thinking that way while eating. Yeah. And it's interesting because it almost becomes like a scientific project because I want to try things to see what I'm allergic to and what I'm not. I would do the same thing. I would want to know. And do you guys talk about all of this like realness on your podcast? Like tell me more about

your podcast. Honestly, like this is how we talk. So the first episode was about my relapse because I had a bump in the road. We had to go back and re-record everything because it didn't pertain and I didn't want to be dishonest and not just start where we're at because I want to start where we need to end. We want to be honest with you. We want it like our motto is what you call freaks. We call family. Everybody is welcome. I love that. We're always going to be vulnerable with you. We're always going to talk about what was been going on. funny stories together because Jeff and I have a 20 year friendship

and it's you know and the thing is him and I we realize this in this podcast we couldn't be more different as human like and the way that we've influenced each other's lives is crazy like he went from being like a

Long Island Guito who was total like straight like homophobic like didn't understand like and because he'd never been exposed to it right me coming in and completely changing everything and making it all about equality and open desires to that and then he's the one that opened my eyes so like going back to health and fitness and mind body and soul and we kind of are always there picking each other up where we fall so the first episode we did about my relapse and

you know addiction in general then the next one is about weight loss and dietary and the stuff that we went through with that but all of these topics what we're trying out we're trying out major topics but these are all topics that we want to go back to on later episodes and really dissect with different people that it also involves, like different celebrity guests who have been through what we've been through. And then we also want to have, like, fun. So the episode, I think the next episode we're doing is,

I don't have TikTok. Okay. I think Bryce is coming on to teach me. really big TikTok guy in case you didn't know I was like Brise out on to teach me how to work TikTok and teach me some of the dances

to see if I did do that. That's a good idea. So just see if like it kicks off so I'm excited to do that and so there's all different things like it's entertainment, health, wellness but like nothing is off limits and we want it to be that place

where you come like once a week. to escape your like impending dues you know like to laugh for 45 minutes while you are driving somewhere and not having to think about how you can pay a mortgage or and not feeling judged at the same time like yeah and not judge and like and looking for similarity is not differences and it's nice and that's something that I think is really important right now because we've all been our lives have not one person unless you come from some sort of tribe in the amazon that is never been seen by modern civilization has been affected by this right it's so insane everybody's lives got flipped yeah and we had to you know buckle down figure out how to

to exist in this new way where everything we knew and knew how to do for comfort and support and love has been taken away from us. Yeah, that's... You need to be around other human beings. I think that's why podcasting is so great right now, too, because you're saying, like, in 20 years of friendship you've had with Jeff and now you have a podcast, when else have you like,

I mean, I'm sure there's been times, but you just sit down and talk about important things together and, like, realizes your similarities and differences and how you can help other people, how other people can help you. But how common ground are our problems. There you go. If that ain't family, I don't know what it is.

Yeah, like our common ground or our problems, we have the same issues. Well, not entirely the same, but very similar, we go through the same stuff. And I always know when he's falling, he always knows when I'm falling, and we pick each other back up again. And it's, you know,

what I'd like so much about this podcast so far in the one week that it's, out is the way I've been able to reconnect with my fan base. Yes. Oh, yes. And like, you know, I really feel like the support is there and it's great. Yeah, because you probably have some loyal people out there. So they're going to be so invested in the podcast. And I'm equally as loyal to them as they are for me. And it is so, it's so great. Yeah. That's, that is a nice way for you to show your loyalty to them. I like that. That's, what is a podcast called and where can people find it on what days?

So the podcast is the Kelly Osborne and Jeff Beecher Show and it comes out every Tuesday and you can find it wherever you stream your podcast. So whether it's Apple, Spotify, we also have it on YouTube. It's everywhere. Podcast One is who our family is there and they're incredible. That's who I'm with too. Oh, you are awesome. They're the best. I love them.

They are the best. And the team is great, and it's so nice to work with people who are excited to work with you every week. And, okay, so I just want to say one thing about the podcasting world. Every motherfucker and their dog is trying to do a podcast right now. Unless you want a full-time job, do not do this. Yes. This is a full-time job. It is not just something you do so that you do.

you can feign interest. No. It is a full-time job. It is about the fans. It is about connecting with them. It's about building your on. It's about your streaming family. Yes.

Yes. You have to listen to everything they want to hear and. And so like I go and I read everything and I've been taking notes and like really like paying attention and thanking people and like I'm loving it. So if you don't want to do that work and you don't want to be there for the people who are listening to, do not do a podcast. I could not do a podcast. I could not. agree more, but I feel like that's why those people fade out is because if they're not invested in it and loving it and connecting with fans and giving back and listening to feedback and

thanking people, like, if you're not doing that hard work, your podcast isn't going to work. And you have to love doing it to make it work. Exactly. And I love it. Yes. It shows. And that, I mean, it shows in your hard work and that you say it's not easy. It's that's because you love doing it and you're putting in all of your effort and passion into it. It's literally like, okay, so people think you just go on for one hour and you talk and then it goes out. No. You have the filming of it.

You have, so then you have to make sure that the filming syncs to the audio. You have to edit it. Then you have to approve the edit to make sure there's nothing in there that's going to upset anyone or piss anyone off or that you're not going to be misunderstood. Then it has to get approved by me and Jeff. And by that time, that is a solid week's worth of work. And then we have to, in doing all of that, simultaneously, we're booking and planning and writing the script to the next episode.

So you never thought. Research is constant. And then the social media on top of it. And then you have to post about everything. And you're just like, oh, my God. Like, you know, it is a full-time job. It really is. It's, that's, I mean, podcast one definitely helps, but it's still a full-time job.

It is. And it annoys me because all these people, like everyone's doing a project. cuts and I'm like, but are they or they just recording themselves talk for an hour and hoping that people will care? Yes. And the people don't realize as well that it's like, it takes a minute to build up the fan base and get people coming in every week because they want to be a part of it. It is an instant.

No, no, no, it takes. I mean, I've been doing it for about four years and it's, it takes time to build it. And it's so rewarding, though. It's so rewarding. And that's the best part, the building of it. That's my favorite part about all of it. I love it. Good for you.

I love it. I'm excited for you because I think, just from seeing the passion and hearing you talk about it, I think it's going to be an incredible podcast. And for people who don't know, Jeff, was that a dog? Sorry. There's my dog. Sorry. You know, my dog's usually after one hour, they're usually like, okay, that's enough.

Jeff is your BFF of 20 years. How would other people know Jeff? Okay. So Jeff Beecher is the world's, okay, when you talk about the world, World's Greatest Showman, the movie. That's him. Jeff in real life. So he started out in the world of comedy and he had the biggest comedy show on Broadway.

Then he took it around America and it was a traveling tour. And then I came on as a creative director and took it and elevated it and brought in different kinds of acts like Vicki Vox is one of my favorites. And Amazon Ashley, like we diversified it. We have drag queens. We've all sorts of. We turned it variety and we went to

the theatre in the Roosevelt and that's where we record the podcast because that's great all stuff and yet we had the biggest theater club in he hates it when I say clubs in theater in Hollywood and it was called Beech's Madhouse

and it was the craziest thing ever like I can't even like you have to just do your own research on it and just see the madness that it was like I did I was my name blown by it. It was crazy, right? And I created director, so I did the lighting.

I designed the costume. I did everything in there with Jeff. That's awesome. And so Jeff was the showman, and it was just like a pet project. Like, I never got paid for it or anything. It was just fun. It was my friend. And, like, it was just an amazing experience.

And then we went to Vegas, and Vegas was too much for me. So I would only dip in and dip out when the show needed to do. change or there was a problem I wasn't there all the time I didn't want to live in Vegas it wasn't for me that's not a lifestyle that I could do yeah yeah so then when we came back to LA and we did the club

and everything theater sorry theater it just went crazy it was the biggest I can't even like we did this whole thing where everyone asked us to put together a list of everybody who went and that list got too long so we started to put together a list of the people who didn't go

and we got one name on the list. Didn't Leonardo DiCaprio, like... Everyone, Leonardo DiCaprio made Jagger, Jack Nicholson. Holy crap. Every major name. Post Malone did one of his first, like, secret performances before he was ever... No way.

Like, we had so many acts come in that, like, people didn't know that turned into huge stars. Wow. That's incredible. That must be wild to look back on it. Like, the best way that I did. can describe it for people who don't quite understand is that we were the modern-day version of Studio 54 here in L.A. Okay. That's a good way to, yeah, paint a picture. And then last thing before, I mean, I feel like I could talk to you all day, but last thing before we go is I always make my

guests have a confession, something that you want to tell me that you may be embarrassed about. Okay. I have a really good one. So I sucked my thumb until I was like, I want to say 18. No. Yeah. And what made me stop was, okay, so they even put the contraptions in my mouth and stop you. And I would get pliers and pull them out. Like, and what stopped me was.

You were committed to sucking the thumb. And the traffic light went off and captured a picture of me and it came through and I was sucking my thumb and everyone made so much fun of me. I was like, okay, I'm stopping. That breaks my heart a little bit. That's like so cute. That's actually really good confession when I think about it because I thought you're going to be like until I was like 18. 18. Oh, it was probably such a comfort thing to you though. I had a blankie and I sucked my thumb. Like it was just like it was a comfort thing to me No my one of my friends here in Nashville

She's a trainer and she was in she was a Marine for nine years And she's just one of the most badass people I know And she still sleeps with her blankie named Blueberry Like it says you know we all have something It's just like you have that little thing My brother has a teddy bear still like But the teddy bear sleeps on the bedside table But it's the one he's had since he was first born

I always get worried for people that they're going to lose that No, he's got this one dog that keeps walking downstairs with it in his mouth. And we're always like, no, the teddy. No. I mean, my family has sent private jets to pick up that bed. He's that. It's crazy. Oh, my gosh.

That's a cool story in itself. They just send the PJ, get the teddy, let's go. Yeah. I'll end it by telling you, my confession is that when I get really nervous, I get nervous poops, and I had that before coming on with you, and I never get nervous for podcasting. No way. Yeah. That is such an honor.

It's true. I never, like, you can ask my podcast producer. I'm never, and I told her, I was like, I'm kind of nervous. This is a big deal. You should have it. You should start merch being like, I'm so cool. I give Caitlin the nerves food. And that's ready.

Will you please wear it if I make one and send it to me? Oh, God. I totally will wear it. Done. I am 1,000% make you on. That's incredible. I can't even think of a better way to end this. You are such a delight.

And so, it's just so refreshing to talk to you. And I love honest people. And I just, like I said, I could talk to you for another like two hours. So thank you for your time. I really, I know you're so busy. And thank you so much for having me on your podcast. And I hope that you will return the favor and come back on mine. I would, I'll have the nervous poops before I do it.

No, because I want to dissect or everything, you know, I have to know everything. I, and I'm like you. I'm a complete open book. I'll talk about anything. So I am so down. Yes. I did. But again, thank you. It's so great talking with you. Honestly, it was awesome. Thank you. So nice to meet you and thank you again. And then I'll come on yours whenever you want me. Every Tuesday, check us out. Yes. I'll put a link also on my Instagram and stuff for people to find your podcast.

Thank you so much. I'll do the same for you. Of course. Okay. I hope you're a couple of sad hours is turned around. It really did. Thank you. Okay, okay, good. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Okay, bye. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.