Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Keltie Knight

Episode Date: December 15, 2020

Kaitlyn is passing the mic, if you will, off to Keltie Knight this week to flip the script back on herself! Join in as Keltie asks her the hard-hitting questions about her childhood, old boyfriends and difficult memories that made Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn. The two also talk about mental health, running businesses, helping other women around you succeed, botox/fillers and much more!    GEICO - Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance   BILLIE - Go to Mybillie.com/VINE for $9 starter kit plus free shipping   SKREWBALL - Go to Skrewballwhiskey.com for more info and click to buy now   SPRINGTIME SUPPLEMENTS - Save up to 55% with free shipping on your first order with code VINE when you visit Springtime.com   JENNI KAYNE - Get 20% off your first order when you use code VINE at checkout at Jennikayne.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Get ready for lots of laughs. Tabby topics. On filtered advice. wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Hello, Vino's. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today on the podcast, I have my girlfriend, childhood friend, Kelty Knight, you know her from the lady gang and, I mean, so many other things that she's done in her life. She is a badass go-getter boss, babe, who has always inspired me, encouraged me to go after things. And we turned at the tables today. She interviewed me. We'd been

planning on doing this for so long for while I was on Dancing with the Stars because I was so busy. She's like, let me interview you. I did love that idea. And so I think we get pretty deep in this one and you might get to know a little more about KB than you already did. But I just love talking to Kelty. I think it's important to have these kinds of conversations and talk about why we are the way we are. So I hope you enjoy this podcast with Kelty Night. It's safe to say life looks a little different that we expected to this year and we're all spending a lot to more time at home I've been trying my darness to keep up a self-care routine even though I could easily let myself go I could I have if you're not already familiar let me introduce you to my good friend Billy who is here

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866 531, 2,600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. I'm just jumping right in. Okay, oh, you're having a glass of wine. Okay, I'm drinking tea and just took a beef liver. Because I got, I have not eaten meat since the eighth grade. And I'm so anemic that I cannot wake the fuck up.

Like I just got my blood back and they're like, you have got to take some iron. And I've taken every iron that is like for non-meaters, the tofu iron, it's not working. I sucked it up. I just swallowed four beef liver. Oh, dear God. Does that affect you at all? Do you feel it? Yes, I'm so tired.

I go to bed at like 6.30 and I wake up at 10 and then I'm like half asleep. Chris is like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, I'm just tired. He's like, you're barely working. I'm like, I know. Wait, I feel the same way. I'm intrigued by this because I, too, do not eat. meet and I am like I was just up in Jason's office laying on the floor and I'm like I don't know why I can't

wake up like ever I and like I obviously had to because if I have something to do I'm going to show up but I'm so tired. I'm exactly the same way you need to have your blood test I'll send you my natural path Dr. Kelman at the Kalman Center in New York I get like everything flown from New York because I'm a total asshole he's the best in the world he's a complete nut and like sometimes running four hours late for your appointment but you can do phone appointments and he'll test your blood and then I'll tell you everything that's wrong with you and he's not like that and not like that and nothing was wrong? No, I had like, like, because I went to this naturopath

because I wanted to do all this hormone, like check all my hormone levels and do all this. And I said, I'm like, I'm constantly tired. And I did the Dutch exam that, like, you, it's a whole hormonal exam. I did all my blood work, just check my iron levels and everything's normal. Ooh, but Dr. Kelman, this is, I mean, not when we're making a commercial. You didn't pay to be on here, Kel. But so I found Dr. Kelman when I had. we were just talking about hair when I lost all my hair and I was really sick and there was something

wrong with my thyroid but I didn't know for like three years yeah and um because all I would go get all this blood work done and the doctors would be like your blood work's fine you're fine and I was like I don't feel fine yeah finally I went to him on a recommendation he treats the symptoms not the blood work he's like because a lot of these tests are so archaic and the levels in which are healthy are so wide like with the thyroid like the levels is so big and He's like, you can feel like shit, even if you're in the level. So he's like, let's treat your symptoms instead of like what the paperwork is saying. And that's right.

Add that like major health breakthrough. So how long have you been taking these beef liver pills? Today was my first day. Beef liver, day one. I'll let you know. He posted on your, on your journey here because I've got you helping me on my hair regime to get it back to like the thickness that I want it to be. So now I want to know if this helps you with getting your energy back.

It does. But we have far more, more excited. things to discuss, Caitlin. I was so excited when, so during when you were dancing with the stars, congratulations, by the way, I was like writing you and I was like, hey, and you were like, the podcast is coming out late this week. I was like, this poor girl is like just shattered. She's so exhausted. She does not have time for all her jobs. And so I'd reached out to you and I was like, listen, I'll take over the podcast for a week. Like, just let me know what you need. If you need me to like fill in or whatever, I was like, I'm not Caitlin, but I'm Kelty and it's like,

K, you know, B, my maiden name was Bush. It was like similar initials. And I was like, you know, I can help you out. And you were like, oh my God, that would be great. So we kind of like decided to do this. And then you ended up getting your shit together and making podcasts. And so now the season's over. And here we are doing this finally. But I thought it'd be really into this idea. Yeah. I thought it would be interesting because, you know, I think everyone knows that we had grown up towns apart and our parents were friends. And so I have like one really, I don't know who died, but I have like the memory of us running around at a funeral. but and I was wearing white and I regret that but my mom bought it at Goodwill like it was like I have so many

memories about this one particular time in our life but anyway so we grew up together and um and I was as I was watching you and dancing with stars I was so proud of you and then I kind of felt like because we've been in this podcasting business together and sort of like helping each other out you've been such a champion for lady gang that there's like also so many things that people don't know about you and I feel like the questions you can't really ask yourself without looking like a dick so I thought it would be so good if I come on and ask you them because I'm very interested and I also think your fans like want a deeper level of you. And I think that's why people were so drawn to you on Dancing with the Stars because you look like it's like you have it all perfect, bubbly, super

confident person. And then we found out that you're actually like a shattered shell of a human. And it was like, nice. It was relatable. We all love to find out that that someone is a shell of themselves at some point in their lives and why and what's happening. Yeah. So I wanted to start with this question. My therapist says to me that everyone is like living their lives, dealing with a trauma that happened when they were young.

Like everyone's trying to get over a specific trauma, whatever that is. And they try to find love and try to fill their void in all these different ways because of this thing that happened. So I want to know what is Caitlin Bristow's like, what is your trauma? What's your thing? Oh, that's a good question. I have a couple, like, I have a couple that I can think of off the top of my head, and it's something that I do talk about through therapy.

I've touched a little bit on it, like through the podcast, and people might know some things. But I think for me, and I think you can maybe relate to this, not through the same, just from the same world we kind of grew up in. I think for me it's, I thought success came from image. And I thought that in order to be successful, people had to think you were pretty and perfect. And every performance you did or anything you did in life, it didn't matter what was really happening.

It was like, what did the outside performance level look like? And I really struggled with like body image and just image in general growing up, because I'll never forget people saying, like, that I always looked sick, that I always looked like something was wrong. And I'd end up going to the doctor thinking I was sick because I was like so skinny and guys would make fun of me and all these things. And to me, it was like this image thing of, well, I must not be successful or I might not be loved or taken seriously or accepted at school because it's my image of what's wrong with me. And I focused on that for way too long of an amount of time where like that's basically what I worked on for five years

straight in therapy where now I feel like that doesn't sound that traumatic and I'm like trying to think of something deeper than that because that really was something that was in my head and that I worked on for so long but I I think it's I think it's very valid and I think knowing you we were in this weird circle it was like this weird housewife circle like our parents and I remember like my mom was really into this too. Of course, your mom was like the prettiest, skinniest, like most gorgeous, like most popular. Like she was a fucking starlet. And so, you know, and she's a teeny person too.

So like, of course you're a teeny person. But I just remember like getting ready for family dinners or getting ready when we were all going to be together. And my mom would be like so anal about what I was wearing. And if my hair was done correctly, because I felt like there was this weird competition between her friend groups of, like, exactly what you're saying. Like, you would just show up and, like, my dad's a mechanic. My mom's a schoolteacher.

Like, we are not Beverly Hills people. Like, I don't know who the fuck we thought we were fooling, you know? But it was like, you're from La Duke. Like, you know what I mean? Which is famous for, like, drilling oil. Like, come on, you know? And I think, like, there was this pressure to be so outwardly perfect. And I think for you, here probably came a lot from your mom just being so beautiful, so revered.

I mean, she was so thin. She was perfect. She was like a Barbie doll, you know? Yeah, and it totally came from her, not my grandma, but my grandpa was very much like you've heard of show moms and my mom could totally seem like a dance mom. It came from her dad, which is so interesting because my grandma and grandpa had three boys and one girl and my mom was like the show pony.

Like you dress her up and you put her on and she does a tap dance for everybody. And it was like a performance and that's like, how she was made to feel successful was by getting done up and performing and being on. And obviously, my mom took so many life lessons and she was very much, like, she was very much a champion of me being my weird, unique, authentic self, but it also, that kind of transferred from my grandpa to my mom to me with what it meant to to seem perfect. Right.

Right. And then... It's a lot of pressure. Yeah, it is a lot of pressure. And then you go, you know, and then you're in Vancouver and you're like hot girl and you're like, you know, all that matters is being hot. Like that's the only thing. You're working at the bar and you're like, I'm hot. I have, I think you were like dating a hockey player or something like at the time, right? Like you had like you had perfected the little perfect life. Were you happy at all during that period in your life? No, it was the like most insecure I've ever been because, I mean, at that time, you think, you'd think, like, okay, I've done it.

I'm considered the hot girl. I was going to auditions for, like, beer commercials, and I would walk in and everyone would, like, look like me. And it was, like, always for the hot girl role, or you should do this, or I had to dance on a bar or, like, certain things that, and I remember thinking, like, is this what it's supposed to feel like? Is this where I'm supposed to be at in life? And I remember just ignoring so many other things and not even getting to know who I was.

Like if I would have, that sounds so weird, but like if I would have sat down and got to know who I was at the age of 23, 24, 20, all those like young 20s of when I thought being hot was all that mattered, I would have been like giving myself hugs. And like, I had so much to learn and so much to offer beyond my looks that never registered with me. I thought what I had to offer was my appearance. And, and I had so much more to offer even than those younger years. years. And so what was the breaking point of like, I need a change in my life? I think I'm going to apply to go on Bachelor. Like, was there a big heartbreak before that? Was there a job loss? Like, what was that? It just kept feeling, like, I kept feeling like some big breakthrough was going to happen for me because some producer from this movie or director was going to notice me at the restaurant because that's, you know, what happened to Pamela Anderson in Canada. Right. Thank you for Pam. She was at the baseball game. game. Yeah. I discovered at a game and like became and I'm like, you know, I'm just going to meet

the right person that it's something, something's going to land for me. And after years and years and years of it not happening and me realizing there was more to life and feeling like I wasn't fulfilled. And each year that went on that I didn't feel fulfilled within myself and just kept focusing on my looks, I got more and more depressed. And then it was when I moved to be with somebody else with my the hockey player boyfriend, it was when I moved to follow his dream and to do what he needed to do. And I was like, ooh, what a dream come true. I can be the trophy wife and I can not work and I can just find my real passion and just like do that every day. And it turns out that that's just that that was just not in me. And I always praise girlfriends and wives of professional athletes

because that is one of the hardest things to do is follow somebody else's dream and put your life on hold and maybe not ever chase after what it is you wanted to do and the ups and downs of the world of an athlete. But I completely, completely lost myself at one point where I was just like, like, I thought I was the biggest loser in the world. I was like, I have no job. I have no money. I have no education.

I have like no friends in Germany, no work. like nothing. I had nothing. And I was like, I am literally the biggest loser in life. And he kind of, well, in my opinion, I think he started to feel that way about me because that's what I believed about myself. Sure, of course. Yeah. And it was basically like, I had this great relationship. We were so in love. And then once I lost myself, he was kind of lost interest and was like, oh my God, I can't do this anymore. And it was like, he just let me go. And it was like, I know you have no job, nothing to fall back on. You're going to have to move in with your parents, like all this stuff, but you got to go. Did you move back in with your parents?

I did. Yeah. How old were you? I was 26, I believe. Wow. I was either 26 or 27. I think I was 26. I actually went to Phoenix to move in with my mom and Rob and was, I mean, I did talk about this on my 9 to Wine show a little bit, but I was addicted to Valium. I went on antidepressants. I was literally, and like my family was like, I don't even know who you are at this point. Like it was the lowest, lowest, lowest low I've ever felt. I felt like I didn't want to be on this planet anymore. And it was actually, it took me quite a few months to say, I need to go get help.

And then further help than just pounding some drugs to numb me. And I started going to this therapist. And this is actually, I walked into the wrong address. And it was, and again, I am such an advocate for mental health. I'm not slamming this or, like, saying this is bad. But I actually walked into a mental institute. And there was some, like, people walking around that were obviously not right. And I walked around and I was like, is this where I'm supposed to be?

Because I was at the wrong address, but the therapist office was next door. And I was like, oh, my God. And I felt like, okay, this makes sense. I should probably be here. Like, I'm not well in the head. And mentally I'm like, not. not okay. And I went to this therapist and she basically hit me with one line that made everything change. And after I explained everything to her about what I'd gone through, how I felt the

breakup, what my vision of a relationship was, what love looked like, all these things. And I was just like, I couldn't deal with anything. And she looked at me and she said, you've never been taught to cope with things. Somebody has always been there to fix it for you. to make it all better, and you're now a grown adult realizing that you have not, you don't have any coping skills. And I was like, oh, shit, I have zero coping skills. And it made me so ashamed of myself to be 27 feeling like I couldn't even take care of myself and I couldn't cope with anything. I needed everybody to take care of me. And that's so not me down in the core. And so when your parents split, how did you cope with that? Like, was that, is there

left over parent splitage stuff that rolled over into your adult life? Oh yeah. Like that's again, like my parents had this relationship where it wasn't toxic. It wasn't a memory in my brain of them arguing and fighting and not loving each other. It was, yeah, they would not agree on certain things, but we'd always sit down as a family and talk through them. They'd always hug at the end. They'd always make up. I never thought it was a thing where they, you know, we're going to go separate ways because they just always worked through everything. And it wasn't like this negative energy in the house. So for me, when they divorced, I was like, oh, okay, so even if you have a healthy relationship,

somebody fell out of love and you're still going to get divorced. So I was 17 when my parents finally got a divorce and I realized in that moment that, okay, so everybody just falls out of love, whether it's a year in. My parents were married for 27 years. Like, it could be at any time that somebody is going to fall. of love with the other person. And so no matter what, I can never allow myself to fully fall in love and trust somebody without knowing, like, I'm just going to convince myself that it's not forever. And so then in your present day relationship, like after years of therapy, are you

able to trust or is there still that little voice in the back of your head that's like, oh this okay so now it's so interesting because i think back on each relationship and i've always had pretty serious relationship i was never like a casual date or like i'd always find somebody and it would be serious i this is like the most embarrassing thing in the world i was an actual child in my um relationship with that hockey player i will never like forgive myself for the way i behaved in that relationship i mean i have to but it was i'm just so ashamed because i was literally a out through tantrums, I would freak out if he was talking to somebody when it was like a friend's sisters and he was talking to her about something. I would freak out about anything

because there was always that fear in the back of my brain that, well, he's surely going to fall in love with that person because that's what's going to happen at some way. Just waiting for this person to fall out of love with me. It's been a year. It's been 27 years. Like nothing ever in good. Yeah. I waited for it every relationship and each relationship I got a little better but even with Sean I think back on that relationship and I would find myself having those out of body experiences where I would act like a child and I would convince myself well I mean he he obviously I'm not going to blame him but he didn't help because he never once made me feel secure in the relationship

but I would you know he he I'd have so much going on for myself I should have been confident knowing, you know, I know who I am and I went through all this and I'm accomplishing this, but there was just something where I couldn't get that security from him to make me feel loved to know that he's not going to anywhere because he had the same insecurities as me. And that really did not work for us. But I just kept thinking he works in a gym. He wants a girl with this kind of body. And I convinced myself of all these lies because I didn't feel secure.

but I continue to go to therapy. I continued to dig into like what these problems were, where it stem from, try medication, which again, I never like push on anyone or think you should do it, but it's worked for me. And now in this relationship, Jason comes from a family where his parents have had the healthiest marriage. They're still so in love with each other. They've been married for like 35 years. They have this incredible relationship I've been able to watch.

I see the way Jason treats relationships. And there hasn't not been one time where I have had a meltdown blow-up, out-of-body, childlike experience in the two years we've been together. There's not been one time where I questioned how he felt about me. I literally, I'm like, is this what a healthy relationship feels like? Is this like normal? Because I've never experienced anything like it. And I'm able to talk to him about all of my past insecurities, why I am the way I

am and have zero judgment and like of course we argue or get annoyed at each other or have moments where I'm like oh my god I don't know if I can do this because that's how relationships work but I've never once felt insecure with him and it's wild well I think it's probably a meeting of two things like you've done the work on yourself so you've evolved and then you've met someone and you're at the right you know I don't want to say age like I'm always like wait till you get older but like you know there's like a mature level of, you know, Jason's hot. He's probably dated enough haughties in his day where he's like, okay, I'm ready for my forever haughty, you know? And it's like, it's kind of like you're both at

the same place. But I do think that it's like a word to the wise. Like people always ask me about my husband, Chris, and I've been together for 10 years. And I was married in my 20s and had like a very tumultuous, like, same as you, like moved to Las Vegas to be with my rock star boyfriend. And I was like, a trophy wife plus one. And I was like, this is all I mean. And I was like, I have no life for myself, like very similar. And I think so many people can relate to that. But, you know, I think that people are always like, oh my God, like he just seems so great. And like, yeah, your relationship is great. It doesn't mean it's perfect. There's times where you're like, I fucking hate the way you chew. Like, I need to get out of this room. I'm like, absolutely. But it's willing to put in

the work so that if you go to him and you say, hey, I'm mad about this because this, you really hurt my feelings. They're like, not like, go fuck yourself, Caitlin. You're an idiot. You're overreacting. They're like, really, God, I would never want to make you feel that way. That's so true. It's the communication level of nobody gets defensive. In fact, I probably get more defensive than he does. And he's really great at, okay, I'm going to listen.

I see this really bothers you. I'm going to work on it and be cognizant of this in the next time this happens. And he really does. Right. Exactly. And he's willing to like evolve in the way that you probably have. evolved as a human too with him as respect to the he needs but like you don't even really notice it because you're like i love you like i'm going to change this stuff about me let's take a

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your dog live a happier healthier life. Go to springtime.com. slash vine to get free shipping on your first order and learn how you could save up to 55%. Podcast listeners will receive free shipping on their first order with code Vine when you visit www.springtime.com. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Speaking of changing things, I'm very interested to know your thoughts about everyone's comments about your face. Oh, God. So, I'm so glad. I'm so glad. you're bringing this up because I have so many thoughts

well I saw that you Instagramed like one of the magazines it was like Caitlin's obsession with plastic surgery and you know like you're joking about it in the same way that I joke about it when I lose like a who wore it best or someone makes fun of me and like you know it's like what are you supposed to do

like you just have to have a laugh but I can imagine that when people are posting like before and afters of like your bachelor headshot to like now and you've been pretty open that you're like cool I'll get filler I'll get Botox whatever like you haven't tried to hide this so I don't really understand why people are being such dicks but what are your I guess my first question is like how does it affect you really okay so it's interesting because we talk about like a childhood trigger or trauma or things that

bug you and it's clearly been appearance for me which is probably part of the reason I do get Botox or filler or want to like have this certain appearance which it's turned from like I don't think it's an unhealthy thing that I like Botox or filler I actually I actually just think it's a like decision that I like to make and it makes me feel more youthful and I think that's that does stand from a fear of aging but I've learned to it comes from a different place where I'm like I'm going to therapy for it I'm like working through it I now believe I truly now believe that I am more than my looks. Like I have worked on it so much that it's skincare and everything is just something I'm

always going to enjoy. I just always will. But it is still that one little thing that you know when the trolls will say something and it's the one thing that hits your insecurities and that's when it makes you think, okay, it must be true because that's what I've believed about myself for so long. So it is hard to find that balance of being like, okay, well, I do get Botox and I do get filler and I am very open about that and then hearing somebody attack my looks because it's just like I don't know. I get like mixed messages from it because I'm very honest about it yet at the

same time it's one of my insecurities that I've worked on my whole life. So it just depends on the day. Like some days I actually think it's funny. Some days I cry. Some days I'm hormonal and I get angry. Some days I respond. Some days I block. Like it just is different every single day. And you kind of never know what you're going to get with me when it comes to the trolls like that. When you see yourself like on Dancing with the Stars and you know millions of people are watching, like, do you like the way you look? Yeah, for the most part, but I have to actually be very aware of my, like my insecurities and my toxic way of thinking, I have to be really aware of it while watching.

because I watch and I love watching myself like glow out there like I can tell I'm loving what I'm doing I can tell I'm just like so happy to be out there I love watching myself dance because I'm like oh I've missed this so much

and then they'll do like the close up and I'll have to stop myself because I'll go oh my God look at my double chin or oh my God look that wrinkle and I five years ago I probably would have started crying or lost my shit now I look at it and I go

oh my god, shut up, Caitlin, stop doing that to yourself. Stop talking yourself that way. Why are you noticing these things instead of seeing how happy you are? Like, I'll go, I'll have to stop myself in my tracks and change the conversation in my own head. I think this is a really good point you bring up because I have a similar thing where I like to, I am like a highly achieving person. So I'm always doing something. I have like a lot of credits and I'm always doing something. And with that, I make a lot of mistakes because when you're just like pumping shit out all the time, like some of it is shit. And I will always say like, oh, I'm so mean. Oh, I'm such an idiot. Oh, I'm like, I just say the meanest shit to myself all day. And in therapy, I've been really working on this. Like, she'll catch me and she'll be like, why are you saying this to yourself? Like, you're just working, you're doing your thing.

and what I think is really interesting to point out is that you said you have to stop your brain and then purposely reset the thinking and I have to do the exact same thing and I think we we live in this like positive thoughts and positive life like yeah I don't know that I'll ever be to a place where the demons of the dark side of me do not come into my brain and in my thoughts and in the front of my brain you just learn to reset it the same way in relationships I don't know that you're ever going to get over like being hissy fit Caitlin like and just wanting to have a breakdown. But you stop yourself and you're like, wait a second, I love this person so much. Like we don't act like this. Right. That is, I think that's what I remember

talking to my therapist when I got into a relationship with Jason and I said, I'm so scared he's going to see that side of me and when it's going to happen. And she was like, it might. It might not like you don't know and I'm like no I'm just I'm waiting for that like that Caitlin to just like freak out and be so insecure and I'm so worried about when he says when he sees that side of me and she was like but like he probably will see that side of you if you guys are going to be together for you know as long as you can imagine he probably will see that side of you and just hearing her say like yeah he probably will and you might and it's okay and that might be something that happens forever. It kind of just made me feel like, okay, if it does, it's, I can't, I can't go back

in time. But it also made me do the, do the thing where you redirect your way of thinking and you just stop. In that moment, I've had the moments where I know I could go spiral. And, and I always used to think my therapist was crazy for telling me, in those moments, you can stop and walk away and give yourself a minute and redirect it. I'd be like, no, I can't. I'm at that point. I'm at that point I'm too far gone. Yeah. And it's, I spiral. And I really have gotten to a place where I can't. I can stop. I can walk away. I can like have my own little moment in the bathroom, but not, you know, like, blow up to a place where the next day I'm like humiliated with myself and, and Jason's like, what happened? Even though if I did, he would still probably find a way to, he'd be like, okay,

what can we work on? What can I do better next time? So you have so many irons in the the fire. Like, I think I'm constantly impressed by the fact that you have, I guess, two companies, right, do, and spades and sparrows. And then, and then the podcast brand. And then when we were in, like, touring and all these things. And then you're just being Caitlin, you know, as a person. And I do think it's interesting in something that I don't ever really see on your social media is, like, how you're managing to do all these things. So can you talk through, like, who's helping you? What areas, like, do you keep you up at night? Like, when you're not on the mic and podcasting, like, what are your days like? Um, because we really see a lot of Jason and we see a lot of you

at night, like having giggles and a lot of the dogs, but what the fuck are you doing all day? That's so true. Wait, great question because I've done a lot of interviews in my days and nobody's ever asked me that. And it just made me realize I'm like, I really don't show the work side of thing you don't at all which is so interesting because i think i think like maybe i feel like that might bore people but maybe it wouldn't but i through the pandemic this has been something that i've said that i've learned is i used to just go go go go go go go go go go i'd jump on a plane be here when they need to do my team would tell me where to be when to be there what to deal like everything would just be go now i'm able to sit down have my office get on the computer i feel like

i am on every single wine call every single scrunchy call it's i feel way more involved in the business side of things and i've been learning so much about like because i have such a good team so i have my spade and sparrows team is i mean they're friends too one cleo is a business partner of mine and she is just like she's so easy to work with she's so smart she totally gets me and what I want like my brand to be and she's she just works with me we work really well together and then so my other two business partners Alex and Aaron they're married and he is an entertainment lawyer and does a lot of that stuff she worked for chip Wilson who was the head of Lulu Lemon and she was like his right hand man and they're both just so intelligent and so they just understand how to

make something work and the legal things and everything that goes into running like a successful business so i've learned so much from them on phone calls every day and i think that's why i don't show it because i'm just sitting on phone calls like silent because i'm just learning and absorbing and taking in so much information about i mean i had no idea what went into a wine label i thought I'm Caitlin. I can slap my name on a label and then put it on my Instagram. And you can do that. There's obviously ways to do that and work with a wine company, but I wanted it to be my own and I wanted to come up with the wine. And I wanted to really be involved on that side of things where I learned about the production, the manufacturing, the everything that goes into it. And that's been something

I've focused on so much since the pandemic because I've able to. And same thing with the scrunchies like I love being involved in everything like picking out the material I make them send me material I want to feel it I want to pick it out I want to be on every call I want to know like everything about it because I've learned that by doing that you are so much more passionate about it you believe in it so much more it's which all around is going to make it more successful when you can speak to it and so I feel like through my days I will I mean every day is different some days I will sleep until noon, get up and do a workout, go back to bed, have a nap, and then other days I'm like 7 a.m. Yeah, I'm on every phone call. I have different podcasts. I have research to do

about each podcast. I come up with the plans for it. Like, I feel like I'll just sit here and go because it's really when, if I get caught up on social media, I'm like, it's like me trying to have one glass of wine. Like, it's just not going to happen. I go on social media. I'm not just going to show you one like little thing about what I'm doing in my day. I'm like there and I want to talk and I want to show you like and that's usually at the end of the day when I'm having wine or when I'm with Jason and the dogs because I feel like I'll bore people with my business stuff. I think it's really interesting though. I think because you've done it successfully and I'm always like how is she doing this? Um okay so I have one more question and then I have a quick

little like speed round for you to end the show. Okay. Um we all know the story about well okay So I think everyone knows, well, everyone knows the story, but I'll tell us quickly. So you were the Bachelorette. You were meant to go on dancing with the stars. You had signed the contract and then they like pulled you from it because Mike or whoever was like, we don't want Bachelorets. And then they kept putting Bachelorets on the show. And then I think he tweeted about you this season or something.

Like, have you heard from him? Have you guys made good? Because I know for a while you were like the most hated alumni in the Bachelor franchise. Oh, God. You were black boxed. What is it called blacklisted? Blacklisted. I was blacklisted hard.

Yeah, I think in this world, in this industry, actually in any industry probably, you're supposed to just be what people want you to be, listen to the higher ups, do what they ask of you, and that's how you will continue to get gigs or whatever. Like, that's my impression of in certain worlds, you're supposed to just, you're supposed to just listen to the higher-ups and do what they want you to do. And if you don't, there's repercussions, which happen, I think, because I was never like, okay, well, whatever you want, and I'll just do this and I'll stay quiet. I'm always the kind of person that's like, this is unfair.

I'm going to use my platform and my voice to speak about it. I'm going to make sure that bachelorettes in the future have a better opportunity because of my voice, like I want to open doors for people. I want to help people. I think you're similar to that. You've always been like a girl's girl where you want to see women succeed and you want to help other people do it. And I feel like I actually kind of learned some of that from you where it feels so good to do that. Yeah, sure.

And so I felt like so many people said to me, oh, you must have been so mad when Hannah got dancing with the stars. And I was like, no, I was so happy because it means that maybe my voice mattered. so now I have gone on I have won it's like the most incredible full circle moment and I it makes me so proud of myself to know that I did that by staying true to myself by standing up for myself and by not backing down to the man you know so he I think he's learned from it too we have made up and we have exchanged a couple emails I know I saw he tweeted the other day that like it took five years but we did it and people were just going nuts on him like what he made way she did it and they i mean it's it's been it's been myself it's been all the support that i've had through

off the vine listeners through everyone that's followed along with me that everyone has just kind of been like yeah you stand up for yourself and you even if it means you might get blacklisted for a little while things will come around if you stay true to who you are and that's what happened and i think Mike has realized that. And I think we've made amends and we've exchanged emails. And then he sent out the tweet, which might not have made sense to some people because they haven't seen the back and forth emails that we've, we've had. But it's just a really nice full circle moment. And I just like to see people and things evolve and grow from mistakes that have happened. And I just, that's what I'm going to take it as. Well, I think that there was this thing of like,

once a bachelor or a bachelor happens, you have to kind of let them sink because you need everyone to get so excited about the fresh and the new. And they've been on the. air for so long and it's like okay now this person's season is done like we don't care about them anymore so continue promote them and continuing and but what I love about you is that you were like okay well if you're not going to give me the platform I'll just create my own platform and like that's radical like that's why I mean I think that people should be interested in your business sense because you know like you said at the beginning of the interview like you're this chick you don't think you have anything to offer you have no education like blah but here you are being so

fucking smart. Like, I think sometimes the street smarts is innately in you, and it's really cool. Yeah, that's why it's important to, like, really thank you for saying that. And I think that's why it's so important to really dig deep into who you are as a person because you grow up thinking what you're supposed to be or people telling you who to be or seeing it on, you know, magazines or social media now of comparing yourself. But if you actually do the work and to figure out what makes you happy, what your passions are, what your dreams are, and to know that if it's not the same as other people's, that you're doing something right,

like to know that you don't have to compare yourself to be successful. In fact, that's the opposite of what you should be doing, no matter what it is that you're passionate about. Like, go for that. And don't worry about, I mean, so many people did not like me through these last five years, but I feel like I've really gained a solid audience now of people are like, she's just being herself. Some people will still hate me for that.

But a lot of people have grown to respect that success can come through being authentic. And for the most part, we have completely ridden ourselves of our Canadian accents. You know, when I go home, when I go home, I'm like, oh, yeah, you're going to, there's the Duke. Okay, let's go to the park. Hey, we're going to have dinner, yeah? And Chris is like, my husband is like, who are you? And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I just, you know, we're going to, let's do some skating, yeah?

That's so me. I go home and my accent is right there full-blown. But you know what's funny is Jason being from Buffalo, I swear to God, he has a more Canadian accent than I do. He really does. Well, Buffalo is, I mean, it's quasi-Canadian. I'm sure he was drinking in the bars in Canada at 18. He was. One quick minute to talk about looking good while feeling comfortable. I think that's every girl's dream.

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So I'm obsessed with the Vanity Fair Prowse questionnaire, and this is something we've done on the Lady Gang podcast a bunch of times. And so I'm going to ask you so quick and you have to answer fast. Here we go. Last things.

Okay. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Oh, gosh. Accepting everything for what it is, like not putting pressure on myself or anything, but being content with exactly where I'm at in life what is your greatest fear um falling out of love that makes sense now uh what's the trait you most deplore in yourself what does that mean it's like the thing you hate about yourself

oh oh okay but not like i hate my skinniness like something like yeah yeah yeah do over and over again um probably just like think too much about what bad thing what what something like a bad thing that might happen in the future oh like a doomsdayer Becca's the same way on lady gang she's always like and tomorrow all blows up and I'm like I don't know I'm feeling helpful what is the trait you most deplore in others like the thing that you hate when other people do bad manners oh and that's such a Canadian thing it's like if there's a fucking line get in the line get in the line about the line at the airport it's a for a reason you don't just bud the line you follow the rules it's so annoying

Okay. What is your greatest extravagance? What do you mean by that? Like, for me, I don't blink an eye when I spend $1,700 at the laser IPL Botox filler girl. Okay, that would be me too. That, like, I feel like where I'm at in life, I have earned to spend the money where I want to spend, and I don't feel guilty about it. Okay. Yeah. Like, I'll buy my clothes secondhand on Poshmark and I'll wait for a Black Friday sale to buy vitamins, but like I will pay full price for a face. Okay. On what occasion do you lie? Probably so I don't hurt somebody's feelings. What quality do you like most in a man?

His relationship with his mom. oh that's very very cute actually what's your most treasured possession um my mirror ball just kidding um yeah why is it not in behind you right now it is oh you gotta it's got it's got a new setup girl you can't see that it's like literally i know i need a higher shelf for it so that it like on the side and then like tilt my head like this the whole time um my most prized possession honestly probably my dogs is that allowed no that's allowed okay last thing What's your greatest regret? Not getting to know myself better in my younger years.

It's such a good one. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, if I could probably, I could probably think about that and dig a little deeper, but that's what came down my mind. No, I have, mine is the same, except that I use this, like, story of, like, I wish I had had, like, an Italian romance, but it's, like, it's kind of the same thing. Like, I wish I had been brave enough to just be alone and be by myself, but I always had a

boyfriend. I always needed people around. I always needed to be achieving something. Like, I couldn't just ever be alive. And I think there's so much value. And, like, your youth is so beautiful. And we, as women, we throw it away. And we just waste time, being insecure and making sure we're doing the right thing and being the right person and looking the right way and dating the right person. And then it's like, then you're 30s. And you're like, oh, now I have a mortgage. right that's so just like go be in Rome for the summer that's so true you really like you really deprive yourself of that you time when it matters most yeah like I was like why can I just be alone and be by myself and like go exploring because that's like all I want to

do now but I'm like married no luggage and bills and taxes well Caitlin I feel like the thing I like to ask people when I interview them because this was like a reversal is like what do want people to know about you. So that's what I think we should go out on. What do you wish everyone knew about you? It's so hard because I feel like this was a really great interview for me because I was like, wow, these are questions some people might not know. And that's really great because I feel like everyone knows everything about me. I know. I'm like people know about my yeast infections at this point. I'm like, oh my God. Same. I'm like, I confess to people. I am like talking hours a week to everybody. I'm on social media. Oh, my liquor order is here and I have to go show my ID.

But what if you, I think people to know that I am like a really big undercover softie and that my, I'm very sensitive and I don't think people know that. Go get your booze. Love you, baby. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you for doing this. It was so fun. Bye. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast 1.com. The podcast. One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV?