Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Keltie Knight and the Plastic Potato

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

Today, fellow Canadian, former Knicks Cheerleader, Emmy award winning television personality, former Rockette, 1/3 of the Lady Gang, brief contestant on The Bachelor, Entertainment tonight correspondent, and friend since childhood, Keltie Knight joins the podcast! Join in the laughs as the Kaitlyn jumps right into confessions and we find out the value of a warm towel. Keltie admits to some jealousy over the fact Ramen the golden noodle already has more Insta followers. And of course, they don’t miss an opportunity to answer all your questions! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Get ready to shake things up.

Here's Caitlin. Okay, this is super exciting. Now you can get everything for your home from the Home Depot. You're probably thinking, what do you mean like everything? The answer is, yes, everything, everything from hickory flooring to exclusive paint colors and all of the trim. And then also an area rug, the sofa, even those new throw pillows you've been wanting. You can find your style and shop more than 10,000 furniture and decor pieces online.

Plus get free and flexible delivery to your home or to the store and easy, no-house. hassle returns. Use the code Vine Home Depot at checkout and save up to 10% right now. I went to the website and ordered a couple things and they have really cute stuff. It's as simple as that, whole home improvement from start to finish, more saving, more kinds of doing, shophomdipo.com slash decor today. Valid on select items only, free delivery on select items, $45 or more. Visit Home Depot.com for more information. We'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. now back to off the vine with kately bristow today on the pod i have with me a fellow canadian who began

her career as a dancer and cheerleader wait where did you cheerleader in new york at the nix you're a nix cheerleader well they're doing this research and i'm like i feel like i did you go on my Wikipedia pitch because it said i was a stripper that's not true someone just keeps changing it so somebody so anybody can go on your wikipedia and just change whatever they want I'm sure your Wikipedia gets changed a stripper. No one changed it? No. That's f***ed up.

That is f***ed up. Okay, let me go on. Cheerleader stripper and is now an Emmy Award winning television personality and entertainment tonight host. I forgot, what's the kick? Rockette. Rocket, which I think was the, when you became a rocket, I remember being like, I know her. I know that girl.

She's a rocket. As well as one third of the lady gang podcast and TV show on the E-network, you might also know her from her brief but outstanding appearance on season 15 of The Bachelor Vibe. I'm going to talk about it. We're going to find for Brad Womack's heart. Please welcome to the podcast, my friend, Kelty Knight. Hey! Okay.

So many things are. Okay. Go. Okay. Where do you want to start? There's so many things to talk about. I think we should start. With it cheers.

Yeah, with a for sure cheers. Okay. And a note that this is Rahman's first podcast. Raman's first podcast. He is chilling like a little villain. I want to let... So much penicillin. I want to let your listeners know that ramen noodle is going to be spoiled, rotten.

Yeah. This woman just tried to give ramen a treat because he walked down the hallway. And I was like, she's like, how do I make him not pee in the house? And I'm like, okay, well, you take him outside and you yell, go pee like all my chives. And then you only give him a treat after he pees. She, he walked out the door on a leash. She was pulling him. So it didn't take any talent to know where he was going.

And she was like, oh, good boy, giving him a treat. I'm like, no, no, no. That's not how it goes. So, ramen is screwed. Yeah. You know what, but I've learned a lot just in the brief time you've been here. You know what? It's like 10 minutes with Kelty is like 10 years without any other person.

And you know where this all stems from. I was spoiled as a child. Oh, yeah. I can't, I can't put those habits on my baby. Right. You can't. I can't. You can't do it. Look what happened. What? He's an angel. He's an angel, baby, who's taking a nap. What happened to me? Look what happened to you. Can I tell you something? Well, I've told you something about my mom, too. Okay. Okay. This is my confession. And I'm starting it right now just because this has to do with being spoiled. Okay. Jason's going to love that I'm telling the story because I begged him to never bring this up.

this is such a good confession okay so i try really hard to not be high maintenance in a relationship i really do i know i'm a little bit high maintenance when i'm like i know i need to like fly first class all the time or stuff like that and like with my wine i'm a little high maintenance yeah but in a relationship so i started the conversation by saying to jason do you think i've high maintenance in this relationship he's like no and so i said okay let me just tell you a little something about living with me oh god and i said once in a while just in a once in a blue moon when I'm in the shower

it would make me so happy if you put a towel in the dryer and when I got out you just wrapped me in this warm towel it's something that I just think is so romantic and it just makes me so happy in a nice little warm towel I don't know why but it's been my thing for a few years and I remember saying it on the bachelorette they're like

what's really I don't know and I remember saying that that's something that makes me happy yeah Sean did it once okay in three and a half years and he celebrated himself he was like sure we did it and I'm like it's your man thing

it was so funny but I'm like it's just a thing so I was telling him about it and I think in his mind he's going oh god this you know here comes the spoiled girl that she told me about when she was little but you didn't say that out loud he went like this okay uh okay sure and I'm like oh he's bothered by this and I was like but only once in a while

yeah so I go in the shower yeah and I guess he was like sitting there because he told me this after he was like you know what jason just suck it up this is going to make her happy i know it's ridiculous but it's going to make her happy and that's what you're supposed to do so he did it yeah and i'm mid shower purple shampoo in my hair to really bring out the blonde tones yep and he comes in and he goes here you go babe warm tell i'm like i'm not ready and i'm like he goes are you kidding me and i was like i have purple shampoo in my hair

and needs to sit in there for a few minutes by the time For the brassiness. Jason, do you want to be walking around with a brassy-assie-ass girl on your arm? Nope. Nope. And so I was... Do you know who colored this hair? Okay.

The same person is Guineath Paltrow. Justin, my fucking Anderson. This is Jennifer Anderson's colorist, okay? He's a purpose of poop. Okay. And suddenly, this low-key, not-high-maintenance girl becomes a psychopath. Yes. And he goes, you're kidding me.

And he put the towel down, and he goes, too bad. And he walked out. And I threw a... I didn't throw a fit. But I came out and I... Okay, actually, you know what? No, I didn't throw a fit. I came out and he'll admit this.

I started crying. And I went... Wait, wait. She goes, I didn't throw a fit. I just sobbed like a baby. And I, but I cried because I felt stupid. Oh. And I cried and I said, I just, I already felt so stupid asking you to do that.

And he was like, why are crying? And I'm like, welcome to living with Caitlin. Surprise. You're like, ooh, I feel like we're going to break her. up really soon after you move in. But I felt so stupid because I realized in the shower house, how stupid that was. No, it's not stupid, though. But I said, I just think it's like a deeper thing for me.

And what I wanted... It's your mom. Yeah. And I said, I think I just wanted you to know what I wanted. And you didn't. You just tried to do the right thing. And I said, but I already felt so stupid asking you in the first place. Yeah.

That now I feel even more stupid about it. And then, and now I'm like, oh, my God. So then he gets in the show. hour. And I put towels in the dryer. And then when he got out, I said, I think you just need to experience this for yourself. And I hugged him in the towel and apologize. And did he love it? Yeah. He was like, this is so luxurious. Yes. He gave me a kiss. And he was like, wait. He goes, I think I did need to experience this. Okay. Okay. Now tell me yours. Oh, no. Well, okay. First of all, yeah. A couple things. Okay. So I don't know if you know this. You have a pretty beautiful house here in

Nash Vegas, gorgeous. He's got lots of bathrooms. A few too many, actually. I don't know if you know this, but you can actually get a towel warmer for your bathroom, Caitlin. Wow. I know. Wait. Why have I never thought that? I know this is, have you seen him in a hotel before? Yes. And I had one in Germany. Yeah. And why has no one ever thought to buy me that? Right. Because it seems like a lot of work to go full towel in the dryer and then bring it up. By the bedroom. Okay, well, then maybe it's not that much work. But you could have you could have hot towels even when you're alone you could be a modern feminist woman you're

right who can get her goddamn hot towel for herself okay I love you and you know changed my whole perspective I'm gonna send you a towel warmer honestly someone will send you one for free if you just Instagram about it so just you just changed my life yeah just with those two comments right there just be your own towel warmer Caitlin be your own towel warmer wow if anyone takes anything away from this podcast it's to be your own towel warmer. Be your own towel warmer. You can warm your own towel. Cheers to that. Being your own fucking towel warmer. So if you guys have been listening for the past couple of weeks, you've probably heard me talk about Dole smoothie blends, but they also have these

amazing frozen Dole Asai bowls too. With the weather starting to warm up, there's nothing that cools me down quite like a delicious asai bowl. It's light and refreshing, and if you've ever had one, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. These smoothie bowls are great for a delicious breakfast or any time as a snack. And they're super convenient. With dull aside bowls, there's no washing or prep or work, no blender to clean. All you have to do is let it thaw or put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Grab a spoon and enjoy.

Instead of going to a smoothie bowl shop every morning, it's so much more convenient to just pull one out of the freezer rather than having to go out and wait in line. And dull aside bowls are a fraction of the price and just as delicious. They come in three great flavors, original, protein, and tropical. And the best part is each one is only 230 calories or fewer. So if you're looking for something tasty, first thing in the morning or to sneak in a quick snack break, try dull aside bowls. Find them in your frozen aisle. So Sasha, my summer intern, is here.

She's from Florida. It's Sasha, not Sasha. Sasha. Yeah. Okay. Come over to the mic. Now, she has something she wants to tell you. Okay, I'm scared.

Here you go. Is it good? I mean, if Kelsey thinks so. Welcome to the pod. Well, hello, everyone. oh shit day two she's taking her time to shine okay get to it girl get to it um well not only were you were one of my favorites are you drunk yeah exactly you were one of my favorites but and lots of attractive men on the bachelor and bachelorette yes you hooked up with one of them no no okay

no jason yeah was like my biggest crush lots of attractive men but literally thought he was the hottest guy really yeah in history yeah well now i think so So at the time I was like, oh, I think he looks like a little vampire like Andrew Keegan and then And then the more time that went on, I got more and more attracted to him And then I met him in person and I was like, damn.

But wow. Yeah, thank you. I will take that as a compliment. But also, Sasha the intern approves of your relationship. Thank you. Yeah. No, she was like, wait, Caitlin. Wait, Jason's so hot.

You honestly were better when you told me in the coffee shop. She got nervous in her explanation. She was like, she was like, he was a very good like no she was like he's hot man he's a babe magnet yeah he definitely oh god okay wait she's dating him though you can't have him it's okay she's like nervous it's so weird she's like i'll bring you a hot towel every day okay anyway that's cute i remember my first podcast i have a big confession oh my god get it katlyn kately okay you can get your own towel warmer yeah here's what we can't do anymore Kate. Wait, this is your confession? No, I'll confess. I'll confess something else,

but I just, here's the thing. People listen to this podcast is they want to know you. They don't give a shit about your guests and your stupid me. Oh, you think so? A hundred percent. It's just for you. The vine. Why knows? I get some feedback that people think I should stop talking over everybody. Oh, really? No. Okay. I don't think that's true. I also get the same feedback. Oh, okay. I hate those people. They're jealous. Yeah. I'm like, okay. First of all, there's a couple things I want you know about Caitlin first of all in her house right now she has sweet potatoes aka yams wrapped singularly a single wrapped yam in her fruit basket i guess it's like a vegetable wait why is it in the fruit i don't know so normally people you know okay uh you know all right

so she's got single wrapped yeah so by single wrap i mean like picture your yam and then picture if someone put a condom on top of your yam and tied in a little knot and it's got its own plastic covering so each one has its own little placenta okay and then I'm like wait yams don't go bad it well they do if you keep them in the fruit basket you're supposed to keep them in the pantry in the dark but okay Caitlin homemaker I'm new so anyway I was like why is there plastic on your yams and I pick it up and I read the label and it's a self-microavable yam So you basically, it says do not puncture, do not puncture the plastic. And you put it right in the microwave and you're going to cook it.

First of all, that's how you get cancer. So let's all make a pact. Pinky swear to me right now. It's now that you're going to be living with Jason, you are a mother. I feel like he would pick up. You are a mother. Okay. No more carcinogens in the microwave.

You know, that's why when people are like, it's BPA-free, that's because when you get hot food in plastic i'm i'm trying to save your goddamn life and i appreciate it and i'm they don't sell freaking fresh yams in nashville okay i guarantee that you could find some yams that are not individually wrapped and like also that is a pinky swear me okay pinkie swear i kately will not will not microwave plastic anymore anymore and they need it okay yes okay number two i have well there's been so many fights between the lady gang and all off the vine like there I have stayed up so many nights

worrying like if our two Facebook groups are going to kill each other really? Well you don't go in your Facebook group well sometimes I do once in a while when I need a like smile on my face it's wild it's a frontier out there really it's like we're NSYNC and the Baxter boys and like people feel like they can enjoy us both or they have to like

no AJ's the hottest backstri you know it's like we always um we're from the same goddamn ish anyway we do always club. Same province. But now that we're actually fighting. Don't people say that we're friends? Well,

I think they should. Yeah. Yeah. We're friends. And that's when you're friends. Rebecca, it was a dark time. It was a dark time. I actually love her.

But Becca's like, that's how Becca is. It's like you have to love someone enough that you can take the piss. I totally agree. Because if you don't like them, you know what I mean? I totally agree. Like guess who we don't talk about any of the other bachelors because we don't know them. Okay.

It's true. right and and and I I honestly was offended for like two seconds when you told me it was a joke you're like she doesn't even know any other bachelor's so she just said your name never watch a that chart yeah then I was like oh I don't care and then I watched it I'm going oh oh oh and then I was offended for two seconds and then I wasn't anymore yes yeah because I also do really enjoy her and I know that's very much her personality and that I say things I don't mean sometimes too just for shock value and for to be funny totally like I'm always like I hate Taylor Swift do you really but then

if I saw Taylor Swift, I'd be like, oh, my God, I love you. Like, I'm just annoyed by her happiness and, like, this new era of bright colors. Like, I'm sad on a Tuesday, Taylor. I don't want to watch you in all the colors of the rainbow. Okay. But here's why I'm mad at you. Okay. This fucking dog, noodle.

Yeah. Has been in your possession for what? How many hours now? A few hours. Like, he walked in those at 6 a.m. He's been here for 12 hours. Yeah. home slice already has more Instagram followers than me

no he doesn't does it really when I was on the way over here I checked and he had 138000 Instagram followers yes get it ramen he doesn't even know his own name yet and he's got so do you know how hard I have been working for a decade I do you do everyone knows I do actually ramen doesn't even speak English yet. Okay, well, guess what? We're going to take a picture of you and Rahman today, and we're going to put on his

Instagram and say, I will follow every person who follows Kelty. Yes. Well, he won't do that, but we will make people follow you from his account. But that's crazy. Ramen is so popular. Wait, how do you not have more followers than that? I don't have more followers. I think people hate me.

No, you're so entertaining. I know. I don't know what it is. I don't know. I think I'm great. And I'm always telling people where I get my clothes. No, you have great content. I post funnies.

And your quotes are everything all the time. A good quote. I even repost your quotes sometimes. Sometimes. So like all the people that follow you should technically follow. It's, listen, I'm not going to be thirsty for a follow. But here's my problem in life. I went on The Bachelor.

Before Bachelor being the first person kicked off got you 300,000 followers. That's f***ed up. Person, we don't even know their name. Grocery store Joe gets to start. You know what I mean? With the stars, yep. Guess what? I was third kicked off of that guy.

I forget his name. Brad Womack. Brad's season. And it got me nothing. Except an embarrassing real. Wait. Do you really believe it got you nothing? No.

It was the worst experience of my life. I mean, I remember you saying that. But I thought, I clearly remember you saying that. But I thought it like got you this job. Like got a little foot in the door? No. Oh, no. I was all right.

ready okay yes so I was dancing I was a professional dancer then I took a beat not a stripper not a stripper took a beat went on the bachelor and I had a job offer to be in the footloose movie with julian half remake okay as shot in Atlanta and I was like nah I'm going to do bachelor because I make bad decisions I used to be a plastic potato kind of girl you know and then I make good decisions when it's life altering I make bad decisions at the grocery tree store yes you do okay so then I was went on the bachelor and night one I was like this is not good for me and then I made it press the first rose ceremony when I knew he didn't know my name right and now that you've been the bachelor at you knew that you had to go out there and look at the face sheet

and be like I didn't know anybody say Ryan and you came back and you're like Ryan yeah I knew like three exactly so then he came back in so he didn't even know me then I wore a tragic fish tail braid slash one feather earring combo I actually loved it I remember okay on the group date it was a mistake and then they gave me the awful thing of where i was the well first of all it was so binary it was so early bachelor because they had all these different characters one was like a sex kitten and then it was a nurse and then i was a butcher woman which how is that even a character and how is that okay they do that by the way they do they put someone as a butcher rari that's not nice a wrestling match and they put one girl as like the ugly um unibrow

something yeah lunch lady while everyone else was like hot wrestler They still do this It's so messed up So I was that one And then it was over But I was okay I know the guys have to wear makeup On TV

Yeah But I remember walking Well high kicking out of the limo And there was like a lot of makeup On this man Yeah And I was like I don't know

And you're like almost too pretty Yeah Anyway I knew right away He wasn't for me So I went home And then I literally was in the hotel As soon as you get to the hotel They give you like

The Manella folder That has your cell phone And your life in it And I got on the phone And I called my dance agent And I was like Can you still get me in footloose and then I went and I did footloose and I still shut up you did footloose yeah and I

I still don't know this well because I was like just a principal dancer and I'm like in the background line dancing well I still make money off it so I got more from footloose yeah because I can make residuals man wait that's amazing that was like a dream of mine to be on something like that well you should aim higher because I was like a background line dancer in a scene at a bar but okay um anyway so then I kept dancing and I my last job ever was Beyonce so I danced with Beyonce so I dance with Beyonce and like I always say every line someone has in a podcast if they tell me something crazy I go that needs to be on your tombstone right that one does dance with Beyonce who runs the world girls me oh then then I was like I don't want to be a dancer anymore

Beyonce turned me off really wait why because it's like you're with the it was like I was over it was just it was too much struggle bus it was like struggle struggle struggle it's always hard I'm dancing with Beyonce I'm still poor. I'm like, why am I working so hard? Why do backup dancers get paid shit? Yeah, why? I remember there's this one day and like, Beyonce couldn't rehearse but they called us all in to rehearse and then

we got there and they're like, oh, Beyonce's not going to rehearse today. So we're going to send you home. Yeah. We're going to send you home, but like we're not going to pay you. And I was like, wait a second. I still got called into work. Because like if you're a union person in show business technically, if they call you, they have to pay you. And then it was this whole thing. And I was like, if

Beyonce, I'm not sure it wasn't Beyonce. But, like, if Beyonce can't pay you, then who can pay you? I was like, I got to make a life change. Does she still treat her dancers? No, she probably treats her, like, actual dancer she cares about really well. I was, like, a 13th girl from center. You know what I mean? Doesn't matter to me.

Always my background. Anyway, so then I changed job. So then I auditioned for a hosting job because I love music to host for South by Southwest. And then I got that job on the spot, never even tried to be a host before. Oh. And then that's how I got became a host. Oh, so it wasn't The Bachelor The Bachelor did nothing for me

Except give a reason for everyone to always be like Won't you on The Bachelor? Like when you're an unsuccessful, unfollowed person From Bachelor Nation It's just like it's a scab in your life For you, it's a badge of honor For me, it's like a dirty scab You're on The Bachelor, yeah, who is your Bachelor?

I don't remember his name Oh, but you got those following. Aren't you selling tummy tea now? And I'm like, sure not. Nobody wants me to sell shit for them. But we talked about this on Lady Gang TV when they said like would you sell flat tummy tea and Becca said for the right price I forget what you said would you sell tummy tea I mean I'll do anything for money yeah but the one time we did we had on lady gang we are the on the podcast we had you probably the same ad it's for some sort of like diet pill it wasn't a diet pill but it was like a hunger pill yeah we said yes because we were like oh it's like a vitamin and then we did the read and then our fans were like we hate you yeah you are the spawn of Satan not today so

Yeah, and then we took it off. We were like, oh, okay. Because for me, I'm always like, oh, I love a diuretic. Like, what? I think I'll take all the X-lax and poop out everything I ate today before a big red carpet. Can I ask you something? Does pooping out everything actually, like, is that one good for you? And two, does it actually do something for you?

Or is it just like a feeling of dropping a bunch of liquid? Well, I think, okay, a dancer to dancer. Dancer to dancer. I think that having a lot of poops, like pooping. every day is really important. Well, of course. Yeah, but this is what happens when you don't eat a lot of food. If you're trying to get, if you're trying to be on a diet and you're not eating a ton,

then you're not getting bulk. And yeah, and then you're not pooping. And so it's not coming out of you. So it's just sitting in you. And that can cause cancer too, plastic potatoes. Well, is that going to be my new nickname? Is that going to stick? Plastic potatoes.

But wait, here's my thing with diets. When you don't eat enough, that's causing your metabolism to slow down. Yeah. to make you gain weight anyway. So why are girls doing these diets? Why are people just not living a healthy, balanced lifestyle? Because that's hard when you are an emotional eater like me. Okay.

And you know what? I shouldn't say that because I should have more empathy because I'm not an emotional eater. You're not. Yeah. I was an emotional eater until I started taking Prozac. Now that I take Prozac, my eating has gone down. But like, if you're an emotional eater, you can stay on a diet for two weeks. You can be like, oh my God, I'm going to eat salads.

I'm going to be healthy. I'm going to do my right thing. I'm going to work out. And then three weeks in, it's like, boom, boom, boom. I will eat all the Oreos in one sitting. And then I'll eat an ice cream cake. The other week, I was so sad in L.A. That I went and I bought myself a party-sized ice cream cake, like sheet cake, and I ate it in my bathtub.

That's awesome. And I just ate it. And then I was in the store. Wait. And he was like, oh, do you want me to write something on it? I was like, no, no. And he's like, oh, you're going to a party? And I was like, yeah.

But it was party for one. You should have wrote on it. happy birthday me eat your heart out bitch yeah I know so yeah people are like emotional eaters okay you don't understand it I do you don't have that mentality some people just don't have it you know what I shouldn't say I'm not emotional eater either because maybe I am because when if I'm ever feeling super low and depressed I actually lose my appetite right so that's emotional as well yeah I mean that makes me want to slap you a little bit but like oh you're sad when you're skinny so hard for you Caitlin man it is you don't understand all that's so I just want to

microwave a potato. I'm never going to lift this down. Anyway, so we just got back from Miami. We were at the Grand Hotel debut party. ABC's sexy summer drama, Grand Hotel is your new guilty pleasure. A five-star hotel with five-star secrets set along the gorgeous backdrop of Miami Beach. Eva Longoria, apparently Jason's high school crush, executive produces this bold and provocative family drama drenched in romance and mystery.

A young woman's disappearance during a hurricane unravels a slew of scandals and lies. It's basically clue for television. It's a contemporary fresh take on an upstairs-downstairs story as the staff's lives intertwine with the owner of the hotel and nobody is who they seem. Guests bask in luxury, but there are many explosive truths hiding beneath the picture-perfect exterior. With so many twists and turns, you'll be on the edge of your seat every single week, an all-star cast including Academy Award nominee Damien Bisher and Rosalind Sanchez.

Grand Hotel check-in next Monday, June 17th on ABC. What are the things do we have to talk to? Wait, I also wanted to circle back because you said you wanted to say something about your mom. Oh, yeah. This is great. What? Okay, Sheila. So when you were on Lady Gang TV, we were hanging out and I was talking to the girls,

and I don't think it made it on TV, but I was saying how like, oh, when I was a kid, like your mom would always dress you and your sister up in like a matching bow slash like dress slash bobby sock with like a matching baby girl purse the bobby socks were like at all time high in la duke and so you would always come in like the big bow side pony like always dressed to the nines honey i mean i slept in braids with curlers on the ends of my hair just so it was crimpy with and the ends weren't straight they were curled yeah it was i mean it was like the attention to detail and then there'd me who'd like schlep in you know what i mean and i was always like in My brother's old t-shirt are like a hand-me-down.

So my mom, like, I don't know where she saw it, maybe on Instagram or something, but she wrote me and Sheila was upset at the lies. She was like, I'll have you know. Both you and Caitlin wore hand-me-downs. Oh, I totally wore hammy-downs. Yeah. It seemed like you never had a hand-me-down.

It always seemed like you had a new pristine bobby sock. Whose hand-me-downs were you wearing cats? Well, I had, I always had new bobby socks. Oh. But I had... Whose clothes were you wearing? My sisters, probably. Oh.

I don't know. You know, when you're little, you get, if you have a sister when you're a baby, you get heavy gowns. Yeah. And toddlers. Right. It just always seemed like you're pristine and I was always like in like all over the

musical being like chimney sweep, chimney sweep. My cheeks are dirty. I'm wearing a page boy hat. But I feel like now roles have reversed where you're so like trendy and on it. And I'm like, I always say I rolled in on my skateboard because that's what I look like. You're Alvar Levine. I'm Avril Levine. Why do you have to?

make things so complicated fellow Canadian it's like okay oh next thing I want to talk about okay sorry I mean I know this is your podcast I just have so much to talk to you about you know that it's one of my favorite things in the world when somebody takes control of my podcast and I'm not lying I actually love it because I just I I prefer being interviewed okay well I have a question have you been on the hello Canada magazine's most beautifulist yet no and I was what the where am I there was like How many more Emmys do I have to win? Hello magazine Canada. I don't know.

I had a publicist and I had them reach out like every year and they're like, yeah, we'll get back to you. It comes out in June. And then June came by, cricket, cricket. No one reached out to us. Oh, okay. We'll see fair that you had someone reaching out. You have more reason to be upset. I just expected to show up on the list because I don't know how it works.

I'm like, why am I not in there? What the hell? Why does this mean so much to me? I'm not subscribed. I actually, yeah. Maybe you should just subscribe. You think that's why? I really had a hard starter there.

Yeah, maybe you need to subscribe. Gillian Harris, your friend has been on 500 times. Because she, one, is a beautiful person. I'm obsessed with her. Two, she does so much giving back in charity work. Which makes her so, like, you know. Is that what? We're not doing enough charity work.

I do a little. Do you do charity work? Yeah, of course. Yeah. You have to. We all do. You're stupid if you don't. But as I ask you if you do.

You're stupid if you don't. Do you? but yeah i think she's just like do kately bristos eat potatoes covered in plastic oh boy not anymore not anymore taking those with me back to my hotel but jillian's like a staple canadian she's like she's a canadian Caitlin Caitlin why are we not Justin beaver wasn't on it not this year his acne is out of control of course not really got to clean up that acne honey it's a on set of adult acting, which I had. I took acutane.

Like, I understand beeps. I had serious acne when it came off the show from stress and had to go on something. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, heated. No, I'm heated because we should be on the, not only the list, the cover. When's the last time someone famous from Alberta?

Like, I mean, I'm not famous, but I won an Emmy. You know what? How many more Emmys do I have to win? That's actually huge. But think about it. Everybody, except for Gillian, is always from, like, Toronto. Toronto, Ontario, like everyone's from the East Coast. No, we should take Quebec and we should split the fuck off.

Yeah. Because they're not recognizing the prairie people. And the prairie people are the best kind of people. Do you know what's so funny? When I was in high school in Edmonton, I remember them being like, oh, we named the theater at VickComp, because that's where we went. We named the theater at VickComp after Leslie Nielsen. Do you know how that is? Like the actor?

And they're like, but we're considering changing the name because he refuses to come back. wait let's be gelson's Canadian he's from Evanton why yeah man we're like talking about how people from the prairie should get recognized I'm like good the fuck that so I was like you know naked gun 21 and a half of course I know who he is I was joking but anyway I'm just saying should they rename the VICom Theater plastic potatoes and then we can come to a tap dance wait can I please have a nickname that's terrible for you sure try it

try to find one there's nothing to make fun of me for bachelor reject i am a reject it was so bad that's all that's the only thing i have on you i'm plastic potatoes and your bachelor reject i'm so good at real life and i'm so bad at like everything else i remember watching something really funny that my sister sent me it was after an episode you were like rapping or something and it was like in the credits yeah because they were like nobody knows who this girl is but it's television god damn gold And I remember being like, how could he send her home? That was awesome.

I know. I just could pour myself some. Okay. Was there any other things that I was supposed to talk to Caitlin about how hot Jason was? About the moms and the hand-me-downs. Oh, yeah, the Uber ride. Okay. Give it to me.

We have a story for you. Oh, boy. Okay. I'm scared. So I was discussing with Sasha, my pristine Uber rating, 4.92. Whoa. What's mine. Okay.

Check. Let's figure figure out where here is it. Yeah, 4.92 is incredible. Like, I never eat in your car. I never talk to you. I'm respectful. Like, you don't even have to give me a power cord. Like, I'm an excellent Uber rider.

I always eat an Uber. And I'm like, yeah. So I'm like, I'm like, she's like, how'd you get that rating? I was like, I never talk. So the guy is like, I don't know if you've seen my Instagram. This is probably why I have no followers, but I've been doing a lot of singing lately. So I'm singing like a song I made for my husband, the Chris Knight Appreciation song. I also have a new song called You Are So Special to Me.

Yes. And so I. I he was like oh what do you what's your oh sorry I got like upset that I was what's your rating than you 4.80 oh like 4.8 yeah I mean it's not as bad as I would expect from someone who has a plastic potato in their fruit bowl but that's like my snack when I like get an uber somewhere I'm like my plastic my oh do you have any chives anyway so the guy's like oh what do you guys do and I I decided to talk in this Uber so I told him that I was a songwriter oh And he was like, oh, my, my, my, my child is in the music business.

He works at Capitol Records. He's like, what kind of music do you write? And I was like, mostly lullabies. And I was like, I just feel like there's such a void in the lullaby department right now. Like no one. And he's like, oh, and he's like, well, has any. Because I told him like, no one's really cut any of my records yet, but I'm like working on it. And he's like, and he's like, oh, what kind of songs you write?

I'm like, lullabies. And he's like, oh, yeah. He's like, well, what are you doing to like try to get your. songs out there he's like what are you doing you gotta work harder in it every day so i said i asked him if he'd ever heard of like this one hit wonder from the 90s called eagle eye cherry do you remember him save tonight you know and i was like yeah so i was like well i found eagle eye cherry on instagram and i dm'd him and i like sent him my song but i i haven't heard back yet and he was like oh don't worry he'll write you back oh what a sweet uber driver he was so sweet so then he was like

would you want to like sing me some of the song And so he did And I was like What did you sing? You are so special to me And he was like Oh and like that's the only line I have worked out And we have this video film

And I'm singing this I'm singing the song You're special to me You're special to me You're special Yes you are And he's a Honda Corolla

And he's like This is a bomb he was snapping wrongdoing he's like i'll hook you up with my son he was jamming he was like bouncing his head like it was like it was a bruno mars like rsachi on the floor he starts harmonizing he are so special to me and then i was like i have a song i have another song so i wrote this song for my husband called the Chris Knight Appreciation song, and I've been singing all over Instagram, again, why I have no followers.

And so I was like, I also wrote a song for Faith Hill. And he was like, oh, really? Well, that's great. Wait, you guys aren't laughing in the back of your committing to this role. I am a method actress. Wow. Okay.

Yeah, she is video. And so I'm like, I also wrote a song for Faith Hill. And he's like, oh, that's great. Like so, and I was like, yeah, it didn't make the record, but I sent it. And he was like, okay, well, we'll sing that one. And I was like, okay. And so I was like, this is the Tim McGraw Appreciation song.

It doesn't have to be very long. His pants are tight. He's always right. He's married to face. She is so cute. The Timmergraw appreciation song. And he was like, he's bopping his head. You're going to put it up.

Yeah, please. We had to, we had to low-key, like, film it. Anyway, it was... You should wait till this podcast comes out so that everybody can watch it. Okay, I'll put it up. I'll put it up for all my followers. Yeah. Well, you're going to get more.

I'm going to get so many followers because you're going to realize I'm a fun time. Anyway, I love to lie. I'm such a good liar. Really? I was really good. Are you a Gemini? I forget. I'm an Aquarius.

Anyway. Wait. Okay, that's all the things I wanted to talk to you about in this podcast. You're going to have to take back over, Kaelin. Okay, that's fine. I just got nervous because I have nothing to talk about. Just kidding. But that, to me, I wouldn't be able to commit.

I'd be a terrible actress because I would just start bursting out laughing. Okay, let's hold up for one minute to talk about my amazing Buffy comforter. Buffy makes bedding that is super comfy and super sustainable. They spent sleepless nights worrying about the impact betting industry has on the environment and decided to change it. Their products are made using only renewable and recycled materials, which makes them as soft on the planet as they are on your bed. Their debut product, the cloud comforter, is covered.

in super soft eucalyptus fabric and filled with fluffy fiber made from 100% recycled bottles. Buffy created the best comforter you've ever slept with. This comforter has over 11,000 reviews. Customers agree it's the softest fluffiest comforter they've ever tried. The cloud comforter is covered in ultra-breatheable eucalyptus fabric. In addition to being softer than cotton, eucalyptus fiber is much less wasteful. Made from a renewable plant, it uses 10 times less water than cotton. its fiber is produced using recyclable, earth-friendly solvents.

This comforter is hyperallergenic, plus its high thread count shuts out dust, mold, and mites for a healthier sleeping environment. Buffy offers a free trial. You can try a comforter on your own bed for free. If you don't love it, return it no cost. And I will say this is definitely the most soft and comfortable comforter I've ever had. It's like sleeping on a giant cloud. And the best part is it keeps me cool.

So no more midnight twister trying to get a limb out in the air to cool off. For $20 off your very own Buffy Comforter, visit Buffy.C.O and enter code Vine. One more time, that's B-U-F-F-F-Y.comfew and enter promo code Vine for $20 off a Buffy Comforter. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. All right, attention, true crime fans. Check out 22 hours, an American Nightmare on Podcast 1.

It was a case nightmares are made of. A family is held hostage for nearly 24 hours and murdered inside their own home. WTOP examines the complicated trail of evidence that police say led to finding their killer and why they say he committed such a brutal crime. Download new episodes of 22 hours, an American Nightmare on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts 1. Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. you do have so many talents you wear many hats it's because i'm a three on the enagram do you do

i'm a three are you a three yeah i'm the i'm the achiever yeah but the three is like we think we're good at everything do you know you're i won't do something if i'm not good at it oh like i wanted being alive crushed it yeah obviously i um tried to learn guitar yeah and the fact that i couldn't pick it up in a day i was like this i'm not doing it like not because i was mad at that I wasn't the best at it. Yeah. And that's why I get so, like, except I don't, I've learned to be a healthy three. Yeah.

It's hard. It's, I've been working on it really hard because I feel like every time I'm not good at something, I get like upset instead of being like, oh, let's work to get better. And I, and that's what I've been working on in the last like six years. In the last 16th, yes. It's been a long time. What's Jason, do you know? He's the enthusiast.

Who's at seven? Seven, yes. that's a good match oh I think so too but it's really hard because he's a little scattered sometimes oh do you find that no I don't know yeah what do you mean scattered sevens can be like like he is going to do his work when it's good for him he's not going to do the work when it's like when you're on a plane you're like okay let's do our emails for three hours on this plane and then we can vacation like hard not the enthusiast because he's like okay let's do them oh really yeah maybe he's What's the eight?

The eight is no. Stay away from him. The eight is like, I can't remember exactly what it is, but it's the person, like, they're very set in their ways, and they think their way, like, is the only way. Nine is the peacemaker. That's my husband, Chris. He could be a seven, but just not have the bad side of seven. Like, I'm a three, and I'm perfect.

Right. Of course. I'm good at everything. And if I'm not, I just don't do it. Yeah, exactly. Good at everything. But I feel like then. The peacemaker, isn't that when you don't know what you are, you become the peacemaker?

No, peacemaker is like hardworking, loyal, but have a hard time making a decision. Like, I've learned with my husband that I cannot be like, what do you want to have for dinner? Because he'll be like, I'll be like, do you want to have Mexican or Thai? And he's like, I pick Thai. I'm like, good. Where do you want to go on vacation? Hawaii or Australia. Not where on earth do you want to go?

Because that turns into a six-month. Chris Knight sometimes will go through the garbage I throw out to make sure that there's nothing we should still keep. I'm like, that hairspray is empty, Chris. We can let it go. Wait, that's so cute. How long have you guys been married for? We've been married six years, but we've been together for 10. Oh, that's amazing.

Whoa. And that just shows your commitment as well, because I feel like people give us. up all the time which I did but I'm glad I did but that's a different story though because I told you not to give up and you were like you were really into it you're like okay I'm not going to give up and I tried but you can't make someone love you there has to be love on both sides and respect yeah and there can be bad times you go through like Chris and I had years where I was like well year and I was like this is not going to work out with us but I love love him yeah and he loves me yeah that's different that is different you know what i mean your

situation was different that i when i was giving you advice i was like you got to stick it out here's what you can do like his ego's bruised because it is hard for men to accept a woman becoming really successful like you've absolutely floured since the time but you were that you were bachelorette or like even on the bachelor but you've been that spitfire whole life you know i've been a spitfire but i've been a spitfire, but I really believe that in the last, I don't know how many years, I've really worked on myself to be able to grow and blossom and whatever word you use. That was really nice. What was it? Flourish. Flourish. Yeah, I like that. But I felt like, and not to get into the breakup, because I've talked about it so many times, but it just felt like I kept growing and growing and wanting to be

better and loving and you can't love somebody into their potential. No, you can't. And you have to be like lady gang's writing a book like we're writing an advice book I know that you're like you're going to do a book too which I'm excited about um but one of the things I say like we have this marriage material chapter and we're talking about Becca and I were talking about like when we met our husbands and like how we knew that they're marriage material and I think the thing that is really important is that you got to be of someone that you love but they allow you to grow and change yeah and they're going to love you like Chris when we met I was like when you first met we you wore some crazy ass clothes because I was like really in my flower crown like one-fifference their earring stage. You know what I mean? That was you. And he was still like, oh. And I used to wear like a lot of graphic shirts that just said like love. People still do that by the way.

With like a peace sign is the O. You know what I was like it was aggressive. And so, but like he's like, you know, you were like very weird and you didn't know what you were going to do for work. And I was like changing jobs. Yeah, but he was like, I just loved you. And like now that you make more money than me and I go places and he's like, he's married to Keltie Knight.

Yeah. He's like that I'm proud. And it's hard to find a guy that's like your biggest. fan because it is is it emasculating is that the right word yes it can be emasculating to man and i because i know that i'm like cooler and like hotter and like make more money than him like that's hard when you're a man i think it's hard either way like your man is moving in to your house that you bought with your dollars that you made from your successful show totally and he's such a successful man too that i think that you know he he knows that he's so established in

himself and he has worked his ass off to get to where he is and he is so smart. Yeah. And he can do anything he wants to do and he will work so hard that he is a lot. He allows himself to be so proud of me that he has no shame moving into this house. In fact, he's like, this is amazing and we're going to make it together. And I'm going to help you with things that you struggle with and you can help me with things that I struggle with.

And it's just like I always call him stable. Yeah. because he just can appreciate my success and he's so confident in himself without being cocky that he just sees this as like a beautiful team I know and that's so hot right oh the hottest and I just I'm like it makes me feel more secure it makes me feel more but you're gonna even flourish more I feel like I already have it in the six months yeah because now you won't have to be like I've been found that with some friends like my girlfriend we had her on the podcast

but my best friends is Christina Perry the singer oh jar of hearts and we've known each other I used to date her what if Uber driver's like have you written anything and I was like who do you think you are anyway so Christine and I used to date her brother like way back in the day

and he broke up with me like two weeks later and she was like I'm not bringing up with you we love each other anyway Christina like she was someone that was always like as she rose to fame she was like here's the weird thing about being successful and like making a little bit of money or whatever is that everyone around you changes but you're the same person and i really do believe that whoa because like as i've gotten my dream job and gotten to do things or like as your podcast you're like i'm going to just sell out this venue on my tour like you're the same person that grew up in le duc with the same family that's like i just want to go to the

okanagan and like be on a boat with my mom i actually think i'm more humble and more more of myself now. And then everyone else like spins around you and starts to act weird or like wanting things from you. I get so many emails that are just like, hey girl, I'm so excited for you. I've been watching you like, I'm such a big fan. I'm like, where were you 10 years ago when I had known dollars? Yeah. I mean, it's up. Yeah. And but I think like to have someone that is like not going to orbit outside you that's going to like orbit with you. Yes. Is that like so like weird to say? No. He wants to help me. He wants to add values. you to my life and he wants to use his skill set in the dryer no he doesn't but he will is the

thing he doesn't want to but he will because it makes me happy what's your mom think obsessed i feel like your mom would be obsessed with anyone no did she no she loved sean at first did she like german guy at first yeah but i mean don't you always love who makes your daughter happy at first And then, you know, if Jason did something that upset me or hurt me, she probably would turn on him. What's your sister think? Had they met? They haven't met yet. No, wait.

No, yeah, they did. Oh, yeah, we went to my niece's cheer extravagant. Jason loves my sister because she's funny. She's funny. She's so funny. Yeah, everybody gets along so well. I'm obsessed with his family. He's obsessed with mine.

We just add that. I always thought before I would be like, okay, this is, you know, well, I'll make it work because it's supposed to be this way and blah, blah, blah. And now I'm like, holy shit, I did not realize. I understand things are going to be hard, but I didn't realize how easy it could be. But that's the thing. I think is like Chris and I've been together a decade and things, there's been times like his partner died last year, like my girlfriend died. And it was like, there's been times where life is really hard, but our relationship has

never been hard. Right. I've never struggled to that. I try to get that through to all of like our women listeners. Like it shouldn't be this like horrible, like the feeling in your gut when you're like, oh my god i can't go sleep at night because i have to wait up and see if he's going to text me like that's not the guy you should marry 100% that's the guy you should because he's hot but like don't marry that guy like so true the guy you should marry should feel like a warm

towel out of the dryer he should be you are a fucking philosopher you know what i mean like i'm a wrapped potato and you're a philosopher no you you are you've given me the inspiration okay that is a great way to actually describe jason he is a warm towel in the dryer I need it physically because he is emotionally. He's a fuzzy towel without any spray tan stains on it. Nope. Just a beautiful crisp white. White brand new.

Washed once. Only washed once. So the fuzz is off. It's not sticking to your armpits. But it's still warm. It's warm and ready. Comforting. Yeah.

It's a double ply. I don't even know if that's a count down. It's a four seasons towel. Yeah. It is. Yeah. The towel from the RV No, no

It is not It's not a beach towel No It is a luxury fairmont baths This is deep You know If people ever say Caitlin You're not deep

I'm from this conversation Right now You'd be like I'm not just wine I'm a warm towel out of the dry yard Okay let's take a quick pause To talk about our hearts And no I'm not talking about ramen right now He's my heart

You've probably heard of the American Heart Association they're a relentless force dedicated to fighting heart disease and stroke with a mission to bring the world longer and healthier lives. Think about this. 2.5 hours of walking every week for a year is like walking across the state of Wyoming. Walking and a healthier heart, now that's a bargain. Millennial women have deprioritized their health in favor for other things. We get it, we all get busy, but now it's time to take charge of your life with new everyday health and exercise behaviors. So if you're sitting down right now, stand up. And if you sit back down and stand up a few more times, you've done some squats,

which means you're on a path to being healthier. You're welcome. And if you did that multiple times a week, hit the 2.5 hours of walking a week goal, you'd be healthier. So check out some more facts on the American Heart Association's website by visiting heart.org and start making moves. I also like that you and Jason been dating six months. There's more pictures of you and Jason around your house than there is around me.

I am legitimately obsessively. with him. I know he's cute. We already talked about this like at the beginning of the podcast guy line. He's cute. Okay. But somebody asked him like, he's tall. He's six just over six feet. Well, that's cute for you. Oh no, it's perfect. I like your journey. It's perfect. I fit just right under

right under his car. Right. Right under his pit. Yeah. I just just right in that pectoral area. Stop getting turned on over there. Okay. Sasha. She's like, she's like, oh, six feet's a perfect time. She goes, oh, right in the pit. Yeah. I'm so happy for me. I know. I know. You're so cute. Yeah.

Get your own man. Jesus. Bring you out for like one half a day. She's standing in for me today on E.T. And everyone's like, oh my God, are you sisters? And I'm like, is the younger, better Kelty here? Get the fucking out of here. You're fired.

I hate Caitlin 2.0's. It took me a long time to get here, go. The newer and improved. You'll never know what I've been through. But honestly, we're doing good for Canada. You know what? The Canadian fashion. boards were this week didn't get invited to that either did you i don't even i didn't even hear about it no

didn't even know that was a thing no one wants to dress me eardom you're canadian where the fuck are you i feel like i also don't reach out to people to do things is that a problem like should i do that more because why do i expect people to well you would kind of think like okay let's name all the famous people we know in canada okay justin beaver slain dion drake um uh what's the funny comedian jan arden oh Yep, that's not what I was thinking. Alanis Morseille. Alanis Morse. Okay, those are like our A list.

Ryan Reynolds. Ryan, Gossling. No. Gosselin's American. No, he's... What? He's Canadian. He is?

Yes. Rachel McCadden's also Canadian. Well, there is a lot of people on the property brothers. Okay. They were... No, Drew and Jonathan Scott were on Canada's most beautiful list. No, thank you, ma'am. Mm-mm.

First of all, have you seen those guys in real life? Yes. Yes, they are rich, and they have their... own sofa line, but, and they're so nice, the nicest, but that is some sharpy marker box dye hair, and I am not for Jonathan Scott, and I'll text him right now. You don't deserve a spot on Canada's Most Beautiful above Caitlin Bristol or Kelty Night. I feel like you're, why aren't you doing stand-up comedy? No, I'm telling you. Does this shit just come to you? Do you think the property brothers deserve to be on Canada's most beautiful as Caitlin?

Well, I like to think they're rich. I like to think that when people do nice things for other people they become beautiful so I try not to think of their boxed hair dye it's a tragic hair die it's I want to like every time I see Jonathan I'm like Jonathan low lights

I don't understand why men dye their hair it's so hot I was ramen not waking up to my loud I'm not just laughing ramen was meant to be your dog because he's like laying on the floor and he's like

Oh, Caitlin's in podcast mode. Super annoying. I'm just going to sleep right through that. I'm just going to sleep right through this. Tucker would be like, Buh, stop talking and pay attention to me. I don't like it when men dye their hair. I like a salt and pepper hair.

I love, I love when a guy ages. Age up boys. Like, they look so handsome when they age up. Age up. Now, what do you think about girls aging up? I don't age up. Bo talks. Now, do you think that's,

stereotype or do you think that's the world or do you okay so do you think that could ever change where we could shift it or if we all just started rocking natural looks and aging beautifully it could become a thing because I think we should try if everyone if every woman women are coming together

and we are powerful it's a fresh idea and everyone's you know we're trying to be you know not trying we are a force and so why are we still and I'm guilty I'm guilty as hell of putting so much pressure on my looks and doing Botox and dyeing my hair and not

aging gracefully because I think like if I do Botox everyone's like oh she's got too much Botox if I don't know you're looking old it's like you can't win if we all came together which I don't know what ever happened if you think you know we're all starting to do this movement if we came together and said let's start being more natural and aging a little bit more like naturally do you think it could be a thing in the of the future or do you think the Kardashians are running the world and that we're all going to eventually look like them in a hundred years. Well, okay, here's what I know from personal experience. In my 20s, I thought I was hot shit.

Looking back now, I know that it was a wrinkled forehead, bad skin, bad boxed eye hair, a skinny eyebrow. But do you know what made you hot shit? It was your confidence. Confidence. Yeah. Then in my late 20s, early 30s, I got obsessed with not aging because I was dating a younger guy. and I was like I lied about my age all the time and I was like botoxing and like whatever now in my 30s my goal isn't to not age it's to be like Jennifer Aniston in those yeah like body at 40 yeah you know what I mean like I'm like eating a salad I mean I did bring you biscuits but they're gluten free but um I ate a salad for lunch and like I'm working out and eating healthy because I want to live long and have energy we I want to live long and have energy we I want to do it also and have energy we I want to be like I'm going to be like I want to eat food for lunch and I want to eat food for lunch. I want to live like I want to be eating food. I want to be like I That's the thing.

I feel like you're being really healthy. And that's something that I think brings beauty also. Beauty is the glow. And how you feel. Yeah. Because think about it in your 20s. You felt like shit. No,

you thought you were the shit. But you were just hungover. Yes. You're just dehydrated hungover. Yeah. But I just feel like when you work out and no matter if you're, what body type you are, when you work out and you're healthy and you eat right and you're doing all these things

and you give yourself a break and drink wine and eat shitty once a week. Yeah. You're like, I feel good. Yeah. It's like you have to, yeah, I agree. I feel like this health advice from a plastic potato is so good. It's like, just eat your veggies, guys. I also always want people to know because everyone's always like, you're so skinny.

Well, they say you're skinny or you, how do I look like that? Or they say you look old and you're tired and whatever. Yeah. I get it from all angles, but I will say that I put. a lot of pressure on myself with looks, but I've gotten better each year, each year, each year. And I'm still, like, I'll probably always do Botox and I'll probably always try and feel young-ish. Because I see also, like, my mom looks young and she has a vibrant soul. Yeah, she does. And I want to feel like that when I'm, when I'm older and I want to be like that person. Yeah. And

some of that is, comes with looking in the mirror and feeling refreshed. I agree. Like, when I look in the mirror and I look tired. Are you trying to get us drunk? We're going to drink this whole bottle? It's off the, well, it's between three people. You're acting like you've never done this before. It's true. You need more wine, my little creeper little lover of jason. Are you good? I think that the best, here's the thing, you know in your heart, I just had this week I went on this like retreat to golden door, which P.S. you should go to. It's like this small in California. But anyway, wait, you go for a week and you like meditate and you do, And that's where we met.

I want to go to Hoffman. Wait, what's that? Okay, I'll tell you later. Anyway, so here's the truth. The only person that you cannot lie to on earth is yourself. Yeah. So, like, you can tell the world whatever you want on Instagram, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But in real life, when you are doing the things that are good for you and feeding yourself,

and I mean like your whole self, like your soul, your everything in the right way, you know. You know that feeling what that feels like to be accountable for yourself and your own best interest. And when you're not doing that, when you're like, you can still be skinny fat or you can be working out all the time or you can be, you know, whatever. When you're not treating yourself right, you know that in your soul. And that's, I think, what makes you ugly. Like, I think what makes you beautiful is like, it's not really about size or whatever, but like when you're being your best self to yourself, you know it. There's like an air about you. And when you treat yourself like shit and you're trying to fake it and like you can fake it. And like,

you can fake it. There's hair extensions and fake eyelashes and fake tams and all that stuff, but like, you know, deep down. Yeah. I totally agree with you. And I'm, again, I'm guilty of certain things. But at the end of the day, I feel like, I mean, I got a life coach. I've got a therapist. I hold myself accountable. My words of this year are accountability and being intentional. Like, that's just my two things I'm trying to be this year. And I'm, I don't do new New Year's resolutions, I do, like, a word of the year. Like, I'm going to be more intentional or I'm going to, and I feel like I really practice it every day.

And I feel like that also comes with age because of my 20s. I was like, who gives a shit? Like, I was selfish in the wrong ways, not in the right ways. And now I'm selfish in the right ways. Yeah. Not even holding the mic. That's when you know it's a good conversation is you forgot you had a mic. You were taking me to let.

If you had those headset mics like Lady Gang, you would be fine. I need to get that. on Amazon. Hold on. Hold on. I just want to say something. What? Sorry, I know I'm a little tipsy, but like, Caitlin, I'm so proud of you. Thanks. People don't understand how hard you work. You know what I mean? And I just want to preach for a minute. Like, it looks like fun and games from the outside, but fellow podcast icon to podcast icon. I want you to know, like, it's a real hustle. Like, you are working your ass off. And like, I remember when you were, I was like, you just started a podcast. And you're like,

oh, what's a podcast? And like, what you've done? It blows my mind. Like, I'm so. I'm so. so I know I say this like I do text you all the time like I'm just I'm so proud of you like there's so you have taken this original voice and turned it into a phenomenon and like but I and I will I'll take it and I'll say thank you and I do feel like I've worked hard but I also want I always give you credit as well because you really motivated me with so many of these things and you always wanted what's best for me like it's true even if it was the wrong advice you're intentions every time it was the wrong advice but but your intentions were in the right place and you always wanted what was best for me and I child models we stick together you know what I mean

we really do and it's together but I honestly want you to be happy there's certain people in life that I feel like it have inspired me and you're one of them because you're like no you could do this and you can do this and you weren't like even though we could be competitors yeah when you were like no you were like you would kill it and you would do that and you helped through you put me with podcast one you help me and you talk me through and you emailed me when you didn't have to and you write me when you don't have to and I just appreciate that too I'm a good fucking person you really are no because I'm such a good friend no I no but here's the thing I have a new rule in my 30s and it's that like I show up for people

who show up for me and when you're you're I don't mean to like be ages here but there's a time in your life when you show up for people because you want to that love back from them whether it be in a relationship or at work or in your friend group and you do it almost weirdly selfishly because you show up for them with something that you want back right and the biggest disappointment for me in all of hollywood has been the amount of times that i've shown up for people like oh my god you have your your cookware or your makeup thing or your music or whatever and i come and i interview you and i put you on tv or whatever it is and then i call and i'm like hey can you come on our tv show or can you come on the podcast yeah and

people to your face on the red carpet are like yeah of course oh my god I'd love to and then and then you reach out to the people and they're like oh sorry they're not available and you're like what like so there's certain people that have continued to show up for me in the way that I felt was like fair it's not that it's a game of fairness but like it's like you've shown up like I was like Caitlin are you in town come on lady game TV and you're like I'm fucking there yeah like Darren Chris the same thing we're like Darren he's like I need to promote this music can I come on the show and I'm like okay Ed Sheeran I called him and I was like I saw that dude I'm like the first episode didn't even know what our show was and I was like hey Ed I got my

own show on E with the girls like we're doing a show will you be on it he's like absolutely make it happen so awesome and I feel like those people will go far because I feel like being impeccable with your word and staying true to what you say it can take you so far in life yeah like farther than you can imagine and I feel like that's probably why we have some success is because I feel like you stay true to what you say you're going to do and you mean it and you're passionate and you you just want to you want to show up for people because you see where that gets you right and it's not like a selfish thing it's not a shellfish it's not a shellfish thing but it's like you know like I helped get you at podcast one and then you were like come on the show yeah and then

we're like come on our show and then we're like come on our TV me show and then you're like hey you're Nashville come on the podcast like I it's it's like women can be such champions for each other totally I don't know sorry now we're like sloppy girls at a bar I love you I love you more but I will say one thing is that there's and this just was on my last podcast that we said you know there's girls who say they empower others and then there's girls that actually do yeah and it's important again I'll never forget the the book the four agreements have you read it of course I knew you would the being impeccable with your word that's it goes so far like if you're going to empower women actually empower women and that was such

that's why I remember of the freaking lady gang thing that happened when I was like okay if I have to pick one bachelorette I'm going to say Hannah I'm going to say it wait are we going to talk about this we haven't talked about it well I mean I think we talked about a lot on the social media but right but I think people know now and and then people understood because they're like oh duh like it looks like I was just so shady shady and I was being god am I really that tipsy was the word I'm looking for like when you oh contradictory

yeah like I said just on the recent episode of like the first episode of Hannah's season where I was like she's gonna be the best Bachelor of all time and then I go on lady gang and be like okay Hannah B won't be because it was like it's a game it's a freaking game if you had to you either drink the hot wine which already drank so much

if I drank so much if I took another shot or pick one and then I was like how do I find a loophole? Sure. Hannah B. Because her season hasn't aired yet, which is what you said. And then what was crazy is that we're executive producers on the show. And so every, we tape on Tuesdays on when, there's a ghost in here.

Okay. On Wednesdays, well, actually just your light bulbs are loose, but okay. Anyway. On Wednesdays, we go in and we sit around a big conference table and we watch the like cut that gets sent to the network. Yeah. So we watched the cut. And I texted you this, but I'll tell the world.

Yes. We watch the cut. and in the cut that I saw and approved, you said, I choose how to be because her season hasn't aired yet and then it clicks to the next day. Well, then it's Sunday night.

And I said that I didn't deserve. I was the least to be a little bit of Bachelorette. Yeah. Like you said a whole bunch of stuff, right. You're like, can I pick Marcel off? And we're like, that's not. Right. And the thing is, is like all of these shows, like whether it be Jimmy Fallon,

with spill your guts, drink your guts or whatever. Like how you sell television to advertisers is having something buzzy. Of course. mean and so so like and people can't be mad at that I had to explain because right because people were like what the fuck wasn't mad people were mad and they can't be mad at it because people have to understand the editing and selling a show and headlines and click bait the same thing they do I think they've gotten better on the bachelor and the bachelor in the bachelor because they know they can't get

away with it because then the stars go and just be like that's not what happened and they don't really want that PR but essentially like the edit I saw it kind of had more of an And so I was like, oh, everything's fine. And then what's crazy is that I was traveling and I didn't get to watch the show until Monday night. So while Instagram was blowing up, everyone was like, oh my God, I can't believe you said that. I was like, really? Like, I'm just, I'm seeing it.

I'm seeing on your story. And I was like, I can't believe people are like freaking out about it because she like said why. I didn't watch it. I was in Mexico and I was like, why am I in this much trouble? Yeah, because I was like, well, she said, way worse stuff about Nick. Okay. And his penis, but like, they're not even picking up on that.

Right. But I was like, what is happening? because I saw the cut on Wednesday and then it wasn't until Monday night when I watched the show on like my DVR and I was so I didn't even watch my show live but okay anyway I watched on the DVR and I was like

oh they chopped it so you're like Hannah B! I was like oh my God that is aggressive so I'm really sorry. No it's not your fault and I did a podcast for my drunk dial that came out and I was like please like this is not lady gang's fault this is not anyone's fault except for people like and I said you know what?

I might have a show one day or I might have something where producers are editing something and it sells and I don't have control over that you can't blame anybody I just like to explain myself because I obviously am like

you're a girl's girl I really am and I stand by that and I love it and it's something that I like want more people to get on board with so when I'm in a situation I get really upset and so but I didn't want people

to then be upset at you so I did a podcast being like No, no, it's what it is. And also, this is like a new, a new time for, like, women in media. And I will say that it's a very easy through line for, like, girl versus girl. Like, it's so sellable. Even though over at E, we have all female executives. Yeah.

But it's, like, it's just such an easy crutch. You know what I mean? To be, like, girl versus girl. Whereas what the thing, the thing with the lady gang, and, like, the reason I had to go to this golden door basically was just, like, rehab without alcohol. but like is that we spent so much of last year like fighting because there's a narrative of like what makes women funny and I think that what we do on lady gang and what you do on your show and like a couple other people are doing is so fresh and unique because what we find funny

is just the truth right about womanhood right like it doesn't make fun of ourselves right and it doesn't have to be like but um yeah and that was like our big fight is the whole time we were making the show we just kept being like that's not that's not what women think about like it's like that what women want movie from like the 90s with mel Gibson where he's like all women think about is sex men and we're like that's actually not what women think about and it feels the same way and we had to fight so hard and by the end of it I was just so exhausted of being like the thing we don't find that funny is like penis jokes like we don't need penis suckers like every week they would like bring us like things from a bachelorette party and we're like that's actually not what women find funny you know fun funny is like one i thought it was farting but i pooped a little bit in bed yeah i totally that's what's funny you know anyway so i i just appreciate you and like you really handed it like a champ because i was like the second time we threw you under the bus what second time when beck and made fun of your ring oh well that which by the way i'm doing under

the bus i have a double halo so it's i know that was the funniest part of it all i laugh sorry also my favorite part was on lady gang when i was on and you were like oh i'm dancing and can what reason you're like and he still loves me like yes oh for the because they were like you can only do one thing at a time yeah you can only have one passion and you're like look at me I'm dancing hey and they cut the part out where I was like I'm dancing I'm thinking about my husband and I was rubbing my head

I'm like I'm doing it out no and they're doing three things times and then I said and then I went to the mic and I said and I'm on period then they cut that out yeah they shouldn't that was great but they didn't want to say period on TV probably well that wow I want to just end there but one more thing do you want to play a game or do you want to answer questions from Twitter are the real questions

did anyone know we're here? Yeah I tweeted it you did yeah oh okay let's answer questions from Twitter okay okay look at Rahman he is a goddamn angel from but he doesn't like a bed he is a real street dog he really is and I love that about him he's like you when we were little

I would have the bed and you would be like here I am in a perfectly kind crimped bend and toe pony tail and here's ramen on the cold hot floor i get so nervous for him because i'm like okay he's still breathing no but as soon but kaelin as soon as he wakes up the minute he wakes up we we pee outside we pee with a treat pee with a treat no treat for the hallway and nope no treat for the hallway go pee go pee go pee in the same cadence every time go pee go ramen go pee then he does and we go oh god you're a little noodle he's like really asleep

Oh, he's out. Caitlin's like, he's like three months old. And I was like, I looked at his teeth and I was like, yeah, no, he's actually, no, he has his adult teeth. I said one-ish because that's- He's definitely not one-ish. He's two-ish. Can you please, Sasha intern, can you please Google what age golden retrievers

lose their teeth? It's a good question. Good question. Great question. Great question, Caitlin. Okay. Are you ready for this? I'm ready.

Okay. No one's going to have any questions for me because I'm so unpopular. Okay. there's actually so many questions I'm gonna have to filter through them okay yeah oh my god I'm so popular I think it's because I'm so popular okay everyone was just

talk to you I'm totally joking I was going back what you said at the beginning what's your favorite color yeah Caitlin well no Kelsey Bryant said in all caps I think she's yelling at you when is Lady Gang TV coming back oh she said not yelling at you

just by what just by just by Kelsey types in all caps you really oh I do yeah I love it all caps so when is Lady Gang season two coming back okay so let's be honest right now we're on the bubble it's a term in tv so our show did good you know like our show did good it was so and it's so funny but it is different i know it is very rare for us like three unknown girls to get a tv show and so we got moved around we got a couple different time slots so we're waiting to see if we get picked up so we're kind of on hold

but we're hoping to be back in the fall and if we're not it's fine like it is been amazing. Of course. And it was so much work. And I had to get drunk like at 8 a.m. And it was awesome. It's hard. I did it with you. And I was like, holy shit. How do we do this? I know. Because I get drunk on my podcast. But if it's 8 a.m. I don't. Yeah, right. You're like coffee podcast. Yeah. But I'm, I'm really hoping, you know, like, I think we, I think we had a good out of the gate. And you know, there's like this famous list of like shows that almost got canceled during their first season. Friends. So I feel good. I'm not kidding. I feel like. I feel like. lady gang is a little like it is why i think i'm having our heart attack from the wine

do we do cocaine i'm just kidding i'm just kidding okay next question yeah remember that vicks uh vip safer rob is so good hey do you ever um do you ever import uh uh uh what's the drink you drink when you're sick in can't get it in the states i bring it back in hordes in my suitcase from canada But you know what it is here? It's flu. Tamaflu. But it's not the same. No, it's not.

Monica Martinez wants to know after the podcast, you step outside, find a lottery ticket that ends up winning you $10 million. What do you do? I'll probably buy the wallpaper that Caitlin has on her walls that she definitely didn't pay for, but I know it's expensive. Let me tell you this right now. First of all, you could do more with the lottery. but this wallpaper is incredible it's from Vancouver a new wall on Instagram a beautiful is it a hand painted it looks at it's incredible she's I got a new role for my bathroom my powder that roll it's black roses oh shit dark like your heart any yes yes

anyways okay you should 10 million dollars yeah I would get a boat in the sandblast islands off Panama it's my favorite vacation ever take wow and I would hang out and and swim and beach because I hate people. What would you do? I get a library card. You know what? Okay, Sasha.

Jason Lover. Nobody asks you, Jason Lover. Just kidding. You're really cute. I know she's so cute. Her eyebrows are incredible. People are like, are you sisters? I'm like, yeah.

Same age. Tadley twins. Okay, what would I do? I'd give it all to charity. I'm just joking. I would give some to charity because I'd probably give it to bunnies for buddies charity for this little angel dog but otherwise I would honestly quit Instagram yeah still keep my podcast yeah because I love

doing it I love Instagram but I just feel like it there's pressure I have like eight different accounts it's like you have a lot of Instagram a lot of Instagram a lot of popular Instagrams now that golden noodle or whatever his name is is more popular than me yeah ramen the gold I'm an actual human being that is a content creator Roman doesn't even have thumbs. He doesn't even know. He doesn't speak English. He has no idea. But I just feel like I would, yeah, I would buy like a property somewhere that's like nobody around. I have something to tell you. Okay. So my husband went on this hike with a guy

named Tim. Okay. I don't know what I was away. And he was in. I came home from vacation because I were on a solo vacation every year to get my mind right without a husband. Kate, I love solo vacation. So a vacation. Did it in Hawaii. Not long. Change your life. And he came home and we're laying on the pillow. I'm like, okay, what's all. tell me about your week and he's like well i had a conversation with tim i was like well i don't know tim but anyway tim isn't a point of the story the story is chris goes to me he says you know what your next move is and i was like oh what's my next move baby and he goes he goes he goes you got to figure out what you stand for so when people are like oh what do you stand for it's like that

girl you know she's big into she's been so incredible what's your legacy what is my what is my like what do i stand for because i do animal charities yeah i do kids charities I do women charities I do MS because my girlfriend has MS like I do a lot of different charities but like I don't have a thing that's synonymous with me I got to figure all amazing I know but I got to figure

what I am like my whole thing Maybe your thing is giving back I know our mantra for Lady Gang has always been like make women feel less alone we're so drunk now it's like getting to a dark it's getting to like a now we've left the bar we've left the bar and now we're back at home eating pizza yeah at 3 a.m

but like what's my legacy I got to find out before it's too late Jason always says that What is your legacy? What do you stand for? What are you going to leave? Yeah. Like what is people are going to know you for?

She was on The Bachelor. She had that drunk podcast But she did so much for noodles. See, that scares me that my legacy would be That I was on the Bachelor. Not that I want to What's the term? The Bite the Hand that feeds you?

We love The Bachelor. I'm obsessed. Thank God for the Bachelor. Thank God. But I want my leg. legacy to be bigger like like she was on the bachelor and now she's jillian harris you know what i mean like we don't remember she was in the bachelor because she makes such a beautiful throw pillow yes yes and i was like i was like wait i want you to see you unbox this gift bag from jillian's thing why wasn't i

invited it was a mom thing fine i don't have kids fine well next year you're invited so what is your legacy what do you what do you stand for are you is that something you're working on now yeah i'm working I don't know because I I also think it's like a very hard line because there's a lot of people in Hollywood that do good things and then they yell it from the rooftop

I did a good thing totally and I feel that way sometimes about my real Instagram or I'm like my what I want to stand for is living an authentic life but also I still cry when people tell me I look old or you know like it's hard to actually live that

truth so last year lady gang we did we gave away a hundred thousand dollars with a college scholarships and we're so proud that's amazing we took the dollars and we were like okay you can get a scholarship girls wrote essays and like it's when people are like what's the thing you're the most proudest and most proudest we should go to college um and life and i'm always like it's the fact that we got to give 10 girls like a college education like it's huge life changing but like how do you say that and not be a douchebag oh my god my baby's you know it's like it's Very Angelina Jolie of us to be like, I help to the children.

But also, you are helping. So it's not like you're saying it and you're lying. You're saying it and you mean it and you did something and you actually used your platform to do something good. And you've probably inspired so many people to do good things. Okay. Next question. I don't know. It feels weird.

But yeah. No, I get what you're saying. But you have to also understand it. Like I rescued golden noodle. What's his name? ramen ramen noodle the golden doodle god i'm obsessing i'm look at this beautiful i know he's so beautiful should we should probably do another podcast just laying on his belly okay okay okay next question but but no let me just end on this

and say yeah that i do think it's very important that you give yourself more credit than that give yourself credit that you don't think you're being a douche wait okay let's do it let's do a credit circle i love okay i call it the feel good circle feel good circle okay are we Okay, you go first. Self credit or each other? No, no, we're going to give ourselves credit. Be like, Caitlin, congratulations on. Okay.

Caitlin, congratulations on accomplishing and living out your dream life because you just believed in yourself and you got to this place because of who you are and don't feel bad about that because that's what you mean by preaching living an authentic life. It brings you happiness and success. Kelty, you are a beautiful girl. Why you wear such high-wasted jeans with one, two, three, four, five, six buttons all the way up to your nipples is beyond me. Because no matter what, you always look like you have a... This is not...

Okay, the purpose is not the purpose. But look at this pant. It is aggressive with the waistline. Excuse me. Okay, okay. Kelty, I'm so proud of you, Kelty. I forgot my name. Caitlin.

Because you did it You got through the last year of your life You had so many things on the go And you had so much to do And now you're eating vegetables And I'm so proud of you Because today you wanted to drink a Diet Coke And you didn't

Bravo Good night You know what What's your sign off? You know what it is I stole it from you See next Tuesday Yeah

Dick just kidding that wasn't the end that wasn't the end false alarm I'm just at Kelty please tell everyone oh my lights just went on again oh my God

you're telling me that's not a ghost it's not a ghost babe oh look at Roman he's waking up oh you know what this might be yeah okay so I would like to say everybody that's listening to this podcast right now go follow Kelty at K E L

oh my God you're such an idiot look at how many lights were out oh I know T I promise I won't be disappointing Oh, look at this baby This one's dead, babe Okay Okay, ramen's awake

He has to go outside and pee, bye Okay, love you guys Bye, Viner's Are you the Viner's? Bynos Bynos, bye Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe

Get new episodes every Tuesday Exclusively on Podcast1.com The Podcast One app And subscribe on Apple Podcasts Sponsors for this week's off the vine Are Dole Crafted Smoothie blends find them now in your frozen aisle. ABC's Grand Hotel, check it out Monday, June 17th, 10, 9 Central on ABC after the Bachelorette.

American Heart Association, visit heart.org for more facts and start making moves. Buffy, get $20 off your Buffy Comforter, visit Buffy.C.O and enter code Vine. And Home Depot. Use promo code Vine Home Depot at checkout to save up to 10% now.