Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Kind Campaign's Lauren Paul and Molly Thompson

Episode Date: April 3, 2018

The founders of the revolutionary non-profit organization Lauren Paul and Molly Thompson tell Kaitlyn about their mission to teach young girls how to recognize the harmful effects of bullying and empower them to overcome it. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's, okay, so I put it in my notes because I was like, I need to say this without sounding super weird. So I used to live in Canada, I grew up there, and I grew up in a place called LaDucke that's just outside of Edmonton, and then I moved to Vancouver. And I went back to Edmonton to help open a restaurant at this certain point in my life. I think I was 26 or 27. And my girlfriend, Sav, told me about Kind campaign. Oh, I love that. And she was like, you need to follow it. She's like, we should do something, like, be inspired by it.

And we tried to think of like a clothing line we could do that had Kinds. sayings on it that were punny but had like kind of because the like you can sit with us is like my favorite thing ever and so I obviously watched Breaking Bad so I was following your husband

and so then I saw your relationship dynamic and then I was like I don't even care about breaking bad anymore I'm so into this relationship like this sweetest thing in the world so me and my girlfriend were super creepy to the point this should be my confession this is my confession bring it to the point

where he had a video on his Instagram and he was like, hey babe, and you're like, yeah, babe. I know exactly what you're talking about. Do people talk about this video? No, I just, I remember it. Yeah, totally. And he's like, what did he say?

Like, you're, I love you. And you're like, I love you too, babe. And then he went, oh, babe. Yeah. And so my girlfriend and I, like, recreated the video. Stop, get out. I need to see it. I will find it for you.

I, for some reason, deleted it off my Instagram before I went on to be The Bachelorette because I felt like I was drinking in too many of my posts and I wanted to like tone myself down and be like, oh, America's sweetheart. So I took it down

because I was drinking in another video. So I took it down, but I will find it for you. Oh, my God, that's amazing. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's amazing.

She was like, I told her today because I did the video with her. I'm like, guess what I'm podcasting? She was like, those magical women. I love them. She goes, I was like, yeah if anyone has questions she goes just tell them I love them I just love what they're doing

so sweet yeah so there's my embarrassing story I love that story it's perfect that is so precious it's pretty funny but also a little creepy no it's no it's creepy in the best way like not creepy at all it's just like so heartfelt yeah it's so good but but we actually truthfully talked about what you guys do and how we wanted to start something like that around where we were then I ended up going on the show and but we really had intentions of like starting our own like spread kindness movement in edmonton alberta i love hearing stories like that and just you know meeting people who have been inspired by the message in some way yes have started their own things or we have a volunteer program called kind ambassadors now which for years people were

like how do i volunteer for this and now we have this official program where um i think now we have just shy of like 300 women across the world that are going into their communities and spreading um the kind campaign assembly and kind club so so what yeah what is it wait what does it mean to be the ambassador like what so what um do you have to be in an area like consistently there no no because i'm like i'm in Nashville by them all over the map but like yeah is there a way that i finally get involved with kind campaign yeah definitely no you can be anywhere um which is what is so great i think about the kind ambassador program is that it gives it kind of puts the ball in your order whoever you know wants to be a kind ambassador, and it allows that person to go wherever they are. So if you're

moving around, it's even better because you can just take it to even more schools and communities. But you go into the local area and the local schools and tell them about the programming and bring kind campaign assemblies to schools in the area, or sometimes, and this would probably you would need to be in one place for a period of time to do this. But kind ambassadors also start kind clubs in schools and communities. So sometimes that looks like them just. giving the school the information and, you know, having the school do it, or there are times where kind ambassadors actually are the mentor person for the kind club, and they're the one leading the club in the school.

So it's super, I mean, it's super simple. We give the kind ambassadors all the information that they need to bring to the school or to start the club, so you could definitely do it wherever you are. Oh, my gosh. And it's free of charge. Yeah, it's totally free. It's free. It's free of charge for school.

Really? Yeah. Okay. So just for people who are listening and don't. even know kind campaign which they now will and they will love it tell tell them just a little bit about like because it's a non-profit organization tell them everything about what they need to know yeah so mollie and i started kind campaign um really started laying the groundwork for it back in 2008 which is so crazy like 10 years ago my gosh um i bet it is so you guys are so instinct you just coughed at

the same time oh yeah i'm sure many times during this we'll say the exact same thing in the exact same tone it's a little scary so yeah so we both had personal experiences with bullying mind being in middle school mollie's in high school as i think we all have um and for me um growing up i was just always so saddened and fascinated by the fact that bullying specifically between girls was just kind of this right of passage um you know whether you're in middle school and also as an adult it happens and just really wondering why and you know you hear women say you know I have all these guy friends I don't deal with girls they're so difficult you know there's these things that we kind of grow up with and it had never been approached in a serious way like really sat down and been like why is this

the case like being a woman and a girl is such a specific experience and you only know it if you are a girl so why don't we unite in that universal thing you know and um so So Molly and I went to Pepper Dine together, and the summer going into our senior year, we sat down and talked about what it could look like to make a documentary about all of that. So that was kind of the beginning, you know, the seed that then turned into Kind campaign. And it was really through shooting these local interviews, just seeing how people would react because nobody had really talked about bullying on any level at that point. It wasn't the hot topic that it is today, so we didn't know how people would react. And it was seeing women and girls just open up and be so vulnerable with their stories. And it really felt like we were kind of popping the lid off of something.

Like people have been waiting for someone to shed light on this. And that was what really inspired kind campaign. We kind of looked at each other and we're like, this could be more than just a documentary. Like, what could we do with this? And this idea for school programs and assemblies and curriculum and all of this just kind of started pouring out of us. So we ended up driving around the country for about two months to shoot the film and then kind of test pilot. this idea for a school program and the reaction was just amazing we kind of looked at each other we're like well we were filmmakers at that point we're like well are we going to do that like are we

public speakers like should we serve a nonprofit like right and we just kind of dove in blindly and just went with it and now you know 10 years later our programming is in thousands of schools across the world we we have kind campaign assemblies that take place pretty much every single day of the school year yeah in a school or two at least one or two schools every day, somewhere in the world. We have about 450 active kind clubs around the country or around the world. We have our kind ambassador program. We do new projects every year.

We did a camp a couple years ago. We're always kind of trying to keep the conversation fresh. But it's just amazing to kind of look back on the last 10 years and see every year a kind campaign has grown significantly in the amount of people that it's affected. Right. The two of us go on tour. You want to talk about our tours that we go on? Yeah, so we, like Lauren was saying, we've been doing assemblies since that moment, since going on the road to shoot the film.

And it was really from seeing just the immense amount of change that was created because we had no idea what to expect. I remember our very first assembly, I mean, we had no idea what to expect. But the response from these girls and just like watching all these friendships men did and conversations take place, we were just so impacted. And that's when we realized, okay, we like we want to do this forever. like this is so powerful and amazing. And so since that point, we have been touring for the last like nine, 10 years now, which is crazy. And we, what it looks like now is we go on two tours a year. So we have our founders tours that take place in the fall and in the spring. This spring we're obviously taking off. Lauren just had a little baby girl. And I'm expecting a little boy in a couple

months. Oh, boy. And you have, and I have a little girl. A little girl. Yes. Yeah. And so this spring we're taking off, but we'll be back out on the road in October. So our fall tour, what that looks like, it's during the month of October, which is National Bullying Prevention Month, and we travel throughout that entire month. And typically we're kind of shooting all over the place. It might look a little different this year, because there's going to be some babes in tow. And then in the spring, we tour throughout the entire kind of spring semester for schools. And so typically what that looks like is we are on the road for one week out of every month. in the spring, and we kind of go and tackle a city.

So between both tours... You do one week every month? One week every month. Oh, that's great. Yeah, and so between both tours, each tour, we typically speak in about 30 to 40 schools. Yeah. Because we speak in two schools a day. So when we're on the road, we are on the road.

We really want to make the most of our time on the road. Yeah. And we want to, you know, reach as many girls as possible and speak in as many schools as possible. So in total, when we're on the road, you know, throughout the whole year, we speak in about 80, 70 to 80. schools. Wow. And that's our founders assemblies. Like Lauren was saying, there's assemblies that take place almost every single day of the school year without the two of us present. Right. Because we have an assembly guide that really replicates what we do in schools so that schools can facilitate their own assemblies. And again, like keep it almost identical to a founder's assembly with the only difference

being that we, you know, aren't there in person. So those happen every day of the school year, which is really crazy to think about. There's one probably happening. today maybe right now i mean it's just so wild i'm sitting here listening to this just being like you hear about so many sad stories on the news and you and so you're constantly thinking that there's bad there's so much bad but really like why don't the why doesn't news share stories like this and put it on the news and and expand that so that schools can have these kinds of programs so that we don't have to turn on the news every day to see something sad like why don't we talk more about these kind things and i don't understand it yeah well and we

we were really intentional about even like the whole tone of the campaign was yeah um very like deeply thought out so we called it kind campaign you know we're taught we're tackling bullying yeah between girls and women but um you know we didn't want to call it like the mean girl campaign or you know or something like that we wanted it to be rooted in positivity and love and forward thinking and change and um i think that's really served to our benefit like when we go in um you know obviously during these programs we're tackling really serious things and it can get really emotional and

but with that said there's light at the end of the tunnel and they walk out of these assemblies feeling uplifted and inspired and you know knowing that they have the capacity to make that choice to be kind

so that was all really intentional from the beginning you know keeping it kind of grounded in that sort of tone I love that the what is the like this mean girl phenomenon like when did it start why did it start why is it still a thing because to me i'm like i i really do feel lucky for my um experience in school where i did come across bullying sometimes like i can remember certain situations where i'd go home and cry and i was bullied and like i can remember certain things but overall i didn't feel like i had a bad

experience until i was an adult and so now i'm like i obviously went on a tv show and it opened up my world to so many people that all of a sudden are invited into who I am and oh so brutal right and you had a really tough time I had a really really tough time and I didn't understand and I think that was one of the worst things is not understanding why someone could have so much hate towards me for just being myself I wasn't doing anything wrong I just was so confused especially as an adult where I'm still fragile of course but not as fragile as I was in high school or like whatever age you are probably like honestly 30 was maybe my strongest year and that's when it started happening to me so I can't imagine being a younger female yeah and and going through that as bad as some

people especially with social media and everything these days totally changed the game totally yeah I think about being in middle school and how tough that was and really the extent of that connection between you know outside of school was AIM instant messages I feel like that was it. Yeah, totally. And yeah, now it's like unbelievable the stories that we hear about the pressure that kids face just to keep up appearances and then just the ways in which people can kind of attack each other through those formats. But what do you, what do you, I mean, I know it stems from people's insecurities and their own deep rooted things that they've gone through. But why is it females more so than males that that do that to each other?

Yeah. Well, I think, I mean, obviously, Kyni campaign is focused specifically on females because there is such a dynamic that girls and women do go through. By no means are we suggesting that males don't go through this because boys definitely experience bullying and, you know, men do as well. Yeah, not taken away from that. Yeah. But there is something so specific about females and I think it is such a universal issue. You know, we haven't sat down with a woman or a girl who has said, oh, yeah, you know, I don't really know what you're talking about. I've never had that experience. Like, everyone has some story. Some are really bad and some have happened, but everyone's gone through it.

Everyone's gone through it. And that's, I think, you know, that's a big difference between what goes on between, you know, guys. Not necessarily everyone has had something similar to females. But I think it is just these deep-rooted insecurities. And really, that's actually what we kind of. set off on our road trip to find out because we were curious about the same thing. We wanted to know, you know, why is this happening and how can we create change? And what we found was that, you know, there's so many factors, obviously, that play into these situations. And everyone's

situation is different. People are raised differently. They have different home life. You know, they have different insecurities that they're battling. But I think at the root of it, it does come back to the insecurities that we face and that is very specific to our female experience more so than you know the insecurities that males have just because there's so much pressure on females to look a certain way or act a certain way or you know if you're so scared all the time of misstepping and doing something wrong and you're worried constantly about what you know other people might think of you specifically in middle school and high school but like we've been talking about that doesn't this isn't some magic thing that stops when you graduate from high school

or college this is something that continues in the workplace and between women you know working or neighborhoods and and that I think even though that's like such an overwhelming thing when you think about it it's something that we've all dealt with it's also such a unifying thing yeah and when you think about it in that way it's so hopeful because we all have this experience we are the ones who have the ability to create change and to unite in that experience and that experience and want to support one another and not tear each other down. And I think, you know, the messages that we're seeing from the media and things that we, you know, read in magazines tend to feed those insecurities.

And so I think it takes us talking about this topic and talking to each other about it and talking to friends about it to stop listening to the things that are being portrayed in the media. Yeah. You know what's really beautiful is as I was hearing you say that, talk about that. there's almost a part of what because that's so true and that's what we've always shared you know that there isn't really it's not a black and white thing and how the media plays into it and gender stereotypes and all that and it's really beautiful to think about how right now that almost feels like like that that's changing so much it is shifting 100% yeah whereas you know if we were doing this podcast you know eight years ago when we started this we would say that and that would be the end of the conversation We're like, okay, now what do we do? Whereas now, as I was hearing that, that's all still a part of the conversation. But it almost feels a little dated.

It's almost feeling a little dated because everything really is changing. And like to think about how just like the evolution of that conversation since we started Kind campaign, how that has evolved and how like, yeah, how your conversation is different now from the success of it. It totally is. like the amount of, you know, organizations and people that are coming out and using their voice to encourage women to, you know, share their experiences and, you know, just empowering young girls and, you know, really battling the things that we've been dealing with for so long. Right. You know, it's the Times Up movement. Like all of this is really, I feel like, more prominent even than like the negative side of it right now, which is really beautiful. I always

think about that because it infuriates me to. have all these conversations but then not have a solution and so I feel like what you guys have done such a good job of is actually following through and coming up with a solution and spreading it through different schools and trying to get these programs in schools

and talking to the people who are going to be the next generation and having a different message than, because nobody's really talked about it before you know, like nobody talked to me about this kind of stuff in high school. Yeah. And especially with media too, it's like there's positives and negatives to social media because that's, I found even as a 32-year-old woman that I'm sitting there looking at social media thinking, that's what I'm supposed to look like,

that's what I'm supposed to be doing. And so I really, I actually am an ambassador for Rob Beauty Talks, which they are funding programs to go in schools called Free to Be and where they're actually having these conversations because social media is such a big deal now that they're having these conversations that what you see on Instagram isn't real and it is a highlight real and that's your expectations like let's all try and just be who we are and then comfortable in our own skin because all you're seeing these days is Instagram filtered photos edited photos that all everybody's highlights and what you know on their best moments and it's it's not like you're just looking at it you know

once a week or something it's people are spending eight hours a day yeah looking totally and and feeding their brains with so so to bring these kinds of things and awareness to younger people in schools is going to just change their way or shift their way of thinking when they go you know so by the time they are 30 because now I'm like how am I just talking about this now right and I'm so passionate about it and I'm so into this stuff because I'm like oh I have I feel like that's the reason I went on the show is to have some sort of platform where now I can like have these conversations and reach younger women and reach women of all age to be honest, and bring people like you two on to have this conversation that you're actually

doing something about it rather than just having these conversations and then being like, I don't know the solution. Right. Yeah. Well, I think that's something like talking about, you know, doing something about it that just is constantly inspiring us to, you know, continue coming up with new programming and continue furthering our assembly program and trying to get it into as many schools as possible is because of the moments that we see take place during the assemblies.

We have these three different activities. You have the kind pledge, kind apology, and kind card. And the kind apology. I mean, these are just simple sheets of paper, like just like printed sheets of paper. But they have so much power within them. And there have been so many times in these assemblies where Lauren and I just look at each other. And we, you know, with tears in our eyes because we're seeing the girls take ownership of their voices and feel so empowered to use their voice and see the power that they have within. themselves to, you know, whether that be write a pledge and make a promise to start creating

change within themselves or within the school or community or specific to the kind of apologies, you know, write an apology to someone for something that they've said or done. Which is so powerful. Which is so, so powerful. And I think it's also so important because that's another message behind Kind campaign is that we're not pointing the finger at anyone. We're not suggesting that, you know, someone's a mean girl or a quote unquote bully because we've all been on both sides of this issue. We've all been affected by it, of course. but we've also all said and done things that have negatively impacted other people as well. And I think there's so much beauty within that because when you put these cards in their hands

and give them the opportunity to take ownership of what they've done and have those conversations that can be really scary. Yeah. You know, it's scary to say, I did something wrong and I hurt your feelings and please forgive me and put yourself out there like that. Not only in that age, but I mean, even in my relationship, like why is that so hard for an adult to admit that they've done something wrong and acknowledge somebody else's feelings

and say and take ownership and be like I apologize like that was not right and I'm really sorry like that's been something that we've been taught to think like oh you're weak yeah well and it's amazing you know reminding during these assemblies and for anyone listening right now

just to know that obviously there's so much power in an apology and how freeing it not only is for the person you're apologizing to but for yourself as well like you know you have no idea like how something like that has been locking you up in different ways and to see these young girls you know handing someone an apology and then you know embracing that person and moving forward it's such a it's such a you know you just grow so much through that it's

really and that'll never stop too like yeah from what no matter what age you are oh yeah that'll never stop that at the power of an apology um even just being on the other end like if Sean does something that hurts my feelings, and he apologizes. I'm like, that's all I needed. Yeah. Like, that is honestly all I needed to move forward is for you to just say that you're sorry. Well, and to have your feelings acknowledged as well. So I think a lot of times when, you know, we're going through these things, whether it's

with, like, in a romantic relationship or in a friendship, you know, whether it's in middle school or presently, you know, as adults, you just want your feelings to be acknowledged. And by someone saying, I'm sorry and acknowledging that what they did hurt you, that just feels like you feel like, okay, that was okay that I felt that way. I'm not a crazy person for like being upset and sad that hurt my feelings. Because now they've acknowledged it and said, they've acknowledged it and they've said they're sorry and they can kind of, you know, start fresh with that person or, you know, if that relationship or friendship should not be moving forward, you can take that in and say, yeah, get some closure and then move on and not just kind of have that

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whites chilled and their reds juicy and their sofas comfy and stylish. So that's why they're offering Off the Vine listeners $50 off their first order of $100 or more. But this order is only valid until May 31st. So just go to article.com slash off the vine and your discount will be applied at checkout. That's article A-R-T-I-C-L-E forward-slash off the vine. I always wonder what it would be like, too. I'm like, I should come up with a magazine that actually just compliments other people because, you know, like, I mean, yeah, we have social media, but magazines have been around for a long time.

Yeah. And I always wonder why it brings people joy to actually spend money on reading about other people's miseries. Like, why do you do that? And like, where does that stem from? Yeah. And so I'm like, I wonder what that would be like or look like. to have some sort of media where you're actually like complimenting celebrities or other people like that are out there and being like, oh, her body looks so great and she looks so happy and come out with like a magazine that's not trash.

Well, it's so interesting to think when we first started kind campaign, you know, about a year later is when the conversation around bullying kind of took this national, it became a national conversation. And so we had all these different media outlets and, like, huge companies coming to us to, like, do a reality show or, like, how can we get into Kind Campaign's world and, like, see what's going on in schools. And we would walk into these meetings with these very big companies and be like, okay, like, this could be cool, but we're so protective of the girls that were, you know, serving. And so we need to have, like, control or, like, sign off on everything. so that no one's being exploited, like, we're not doing this to, like, create drama. Right. And it was so interesting during those conversations, like, we would beg these companies be like, you know, we really feel like, and again, this was 10 years ago.

So it was before, like, this wave of, like, positive media and content. We were like, I think people like kindness and actually will, like, go in that direction. They'll respond to positivity. Like, you don't need the drama. Yeah, like, look at Ellen DeGener. exactly and it was really hard for these companies at that point to see that and it's so interesting now to kind of see how that's evolved and how now it's like there's shows specifically that are just like feel good you know and like t-shirt companies that are like kindness is cool and you know it's like that's all changed so much since we started it and I feel like we had that instinct about it we're like no people will respond to this like we're over it it's like not cool to be rude like we're over it you had that instinct but you also had that that you did start a change. And I hope you give yourselves a lot of credit for a lot of these things because I do think you started a movement.

Thank you. Honestly, we've done it so many times. I know. Yeah, like the exact same. You probably can't tell that there's even two people. Thank you so much. It is interesting, though, because just from being in the TV world, too, like, it still bothers me watching The Bachelor where I'm like, why are they trying to pit this woman to be the villain? Why do you need a villain for people to tune in?

Exactly. And we all say it. We're like, oh, if that person wasn't there, you wouldn't watch because she's the entertainment. But that's also the person you absolutely tear apart. And there's still a human being on the other side of that, you know, like with a story. Whether or not they do rub you the wrong way, whatever, they still are a human being on the other end of that.

They're not playing a character on a reality show. That's them. Yeah. And that's all like, you know, they may not know better. Totally. And so for us to sit there and enjoy laughing. laughing at a real person, not a character, is so sad to me. Yeah.

But then I try so hard to think about the other way where it's like we are having these conversations and there is a movement and there is positives to social media and people who do have a voice and use to or choose to use it in a positive way. That's a great thing about social media. Yeah, definitely. Well, and I feel like that's also a place for movements like this to grow. And I think kind of combining those two things, I feel like the response when we put you can sit with us yeah um which when we did that on the 10th anniversary of the mean girls

um coming out release yeah and you know we had no idea how people would respond or if people would be into it and that stuck with people that landed like it was so cool seeing i remember we put it out that morning and we were speaking i think in arizona or i don't know we got on a plane we put it out like during the assembly while the girls were watching the film we you know finished the assembly got on a plane and then landed and it had like exploded and like gone viral and we were like wait this is

so incredible and so beautiful to see how many people just like see that and get so excited by that and want to promote that because it is this positive message and lean into kindness when it's there you know it's just about bringing it there like

it's like about putting it out there and making it be the cool thing and I think like you were saying Laura like it is like it is cool to be kind. But I think you're right. I think that is a new thing in a way. But it's cool to use social media in that way to, you know, put that out there. And also as a reminder, because I think it can be a really scary place on social media.

Of course. Like you were saying, like, you know, there are real people behind these accounts. There are real people behind, you know, these reality shows. And at the end of the day, we all have a story. And it's so important to remember that before you, like, quickly. type something off right and fire it always it always breaks my heart when I when I see like because I still get I mean absolutely terrible comments and and when I'm like I just want to I'm intrigued as to where this comes from and and who you are as a person so I go to their profile

if I see something like really nasty and it breaks my heart because it I've I've talked about this so many times it's always a female yeah it's usually a mother and it's you know yeah where you're like it's so shocking and I'm like I'm somebody's daughter you have daughters you're somebody's daughter like how do you not think to just be kind to somebody

like why is that such a challenge to people especially you know you are both moms now like you just have a different perspective on everything but also like could you imagine no I remember

like probably my greatest troll like the person who was like said the craziest things to me of anyone. My number one troll. I remember going to this woman's account because the same thing, I was like, who is this human? Like, you're just being so mean. Right. And relentless.

Yeah. Did I do something to them? Who are they? Yeah. And it was an adult woman, a mother, and she was a teacher. Do you remember that? And I remember being like, what? No. And so disappointing. And just that thing where you're like, you know, going on, going online and, you know, if you scroll through the comments on like a YouTube page or like anything, any comment section is like the darkest place on the planet, right? And it's like you think about, you know, who's saying these things and why. And typically they're like adults at their work desk or at home with their kids. And it's really amazing.

I, one of my favorite things to do is when someone says something, me. to me online. I love commenting back in like the nicest. Me too. Yeah, right? I'm like, I'll just like approach them directly and just say, hey, like, that really hurt my feelings. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll even, you know, say something like, you know, I hope you have a great day. And, you know, and just like totally come from this place of like humanizing the moment and humanizing myself and reminding them like, I'm a person. Yeah. And being honest, what you said actually just really hurt my feelings like where did that come from yeah or like if they say something you know commenting on me and erin or on kind campaign or whatever and like and actually explaining like no actually this is the

situation and like you know i i hope you know think about this the next time you want to go say something to someone that you know we don't always receive the right information or like there's a human on the other side of a phone or a computer whatever and a hundred percent of the time when you do that or at least in my experience they're like oh my god i'm so sorry like i i didn't think you respond yes that's the me yes and there's this and then and then it's great and you hope it's like a learning lesson and that they think twice before they do that to someone else exactly what i do because i'm a little bit of a sarcastic ass sometimes but it's so funny because i i do the same thing where i want to respond with i mean a little bit of sarcasm but also like kindness where i'm like

up i'm like oh you're like you seem like you would be such a great person i'm looking at your profile and you've got children i i hope you can like find it in you to maybe change your way of thinking about same thing and that they respond the same way and then it's like they realize oh you're a human oh i didn't think you'd see this and then you're like what was that outlet for you yeah if i didn't see it like what so what did that bring you and sometimes i'll even go as far as to have the conversation like i'm just curious what did that bring you yeah um because i challenge you to actually say something positive to somebody and I bet you'll feel better yeah and they are always yeah same thing always the response of oh my gosh you're right and then people will give me a hard time like why do you

respond to these trolls and I'm like because I truly believe that if I do in a certain way and choose who I respond to like yeah maybe they will think twice the next time and maybe I will just change a couple people you know and that's fine with me to respond to trolls because does it bother me yeah I'm like annoyed by it but I don't believe them I mean, what they're telling me, people tell me all the time, like, oh, you're ill, you're too skinny or blah, blah, blah. I'm like, well, that's my body. Yeah. I've dealt with that for a long time now.

That's just my body. And so I don't let it affect me to the point where it's, like, ruined my day. But then I just want to ask them why. Right. Like, what's going on in their life is that that's their outlet. And just to, like, poke them, be like, hi, I'm here. Yeah. Just so you know.

And it's kind of scary, like, because the response is so the same every time where it's like this light bulb. They're like, oh, hi. Like, I'm so sorry. You know, and it's genuine. Like, you feel it's genuine. They're like, oh, wow, I shouldn't have said that. Yeah. And what's so scary and crazy about that is just thinking about, like, when I was talking, we were talking about this with Jess, we and are when we're talking about social media and how it's like literally affecting our brain chemistry.

Yes. And you think about, I think about yesterday. Like, I probably, I definitely went on Instagram a few times and you're scrolling through and it's just this like robotic thing. Like I couldn't tell you a single thing that I looked at yesterday, not a single post. don't remember a single picture nothing and I feel like it's kind of the same thing with the way people communicate they're like firing something off and they're like oh da-da-da-da-da-da and like vomiting on someone's page and probably don't even know why like then then go back you know to work from their lunch break and like don't even remember what they said and it's like this thing where I feel like

our phones are just totally numbing us to you know interpersonal communication and relationships and like but the moment you take a minute to just be like hi that wasn't nice like that really hurt my feelings they're like oh yeah like we're humans like that you that there's a connection there which is so strange like the true human connection right because the social media thing there's such a disconnect of people and like that I said this on a podcast yesterday I'm like that's why I love podcasting it's like we are in a moment we are having conversation about important things we're not distracted I'm not doing mindless like scrolling and I'm not feeding my brain with negative things I'm it's all positive

And that's what I find, like, even before I went on TV and had any sort of platform, I wanted to be on radio and I wanted to have my own show and, like, impact people. And now I'm like, oh, my God, I'm doing it. Well, and props to you for, by the way. Yeah. Thank you. There we are on the same way. Yeah. There you are.

Take it, girl. No, I was just going to say that's amazing that, like, you know, you have taken this platform that you have and you are having conversations like this and you're putting positivity out into the world because I think it is so important. And everything that we've been talking about, you know, has been kind of our experience presently. But then I also flip and think about a middle school or a high schooler connected to social media. And we've seen this firsthand being in schools and seeing their experience because we're in a place where, like you said, you don't let it ruin your day. Like you know who you are.

And yes, it does affect you, but you're not going to let that completely ruin your day. Right. But I feel like middle schoolers and high schoolers that we've seen who have dealt with this don't necessarily have that confidence. Their identity is wrapped up in that. Yeah, they don't have the wherewithal to be able to separate themselves from whether it's comments or their value within a social media account.

And we've seen firsthand, there's an experience actually down at Lawrence Middle School, high school. This was several years ago now. So this, I mean, I feel like every year social media just becomes this bigger and bigger beast. So this is like, I want to say almost five years ago, maybe even and during the assembly oftentimes we'll like stay out in the audience there's certain girls that we can just kind of we just know like they're going through something because of

the way that they're taking in the assembly and experiencing it and we both picked up on this one particular girl and we kind of had this feeling like afterwards we'd probably be having a conversation with her she'd probably come up to us and and she did you know right away kind of beeline and and we ended up kind of stepping aside because what she was going to going through just made her so emotional and she was crying. And so we ended up out in the hallway with her after the assembly. And we hear stories all the time from girls that are just extremely devastating about things that might be going on at home or self-harm that they're doing or just a countless number of things that just break your heart. And so we were kind of

expecting, you know, some crazy story to come out about what she's going through because of this emotional experience that she was like showcasing in front of us. Right. And so, So when we got into the conversation and she opened up and shared with us what was going on, it was all centered around this group of quote unquote friends who decided if they were going to be their friend her friend that day based on the number of likes that she got on her Instagram account and based on the number of followers that she had. And there was a quota that she had to meet. And if she did not meet that quota or like that number of likes or number of followers,

then she knew she would go to school that day and have no one to talk to. to and wouldn't have anyone to sit with which like I'm going to cry right now thinking about that because that's such a real thing like that is that was her experience like getting up in the morning and it like it was all centered around this this social media account and this like value based like number they put a number on if she was going to have someone to talk to at school that day and that number is now she's like that's what I'm worth yeah and like that's like and that's where she feel like that was that's how she felt her value was um and that's what she back battled than every day, like wanting to attain that so that she could have, quote, unquote,

friends, you know, talk to her at school and sit with her at lunch and just watching her emotional experience process that at such a young age. And it all, again, is centered around, you know, this device. Yes. Just was so heartbreaking for us and also so eye-opening to how how young people's lives truly are so centered around social media. And it was like, kind of terrifying now as moms like thinking about if this is where we are right now like what what's to come like what's in the future well and she shared with us too this was such a vulnerable moment that like throughout our whole conversation with her this broke my heart like into pieces she was saying so now you know instead of going home and doing my homework or like going to

soccer practice or whatever i sit and i create fake accounts to like my own pictures and to follow myself every day so that I can meet that number so that they'll acknowledge me. Oh, my God. And I was just like, wow, like that. And you want to just be like, shaker and be like, it doesn't mean anything. But it means everything. And like, it's just

that is heartbreaking. Because you think about, like, when we were in school, again, going back to that, like, if we did have social media in that time, how hard that would be. Because you wanted acceptance so badly. And you got all of your self-worth from other places. And I don't, I'm always, I mean, you two as moms, and you probably think about this all the time.

Like, how do you give your child that, like, power to love themselves? The tools, yeah. The tools, like, how do you set them up for success to have self-worth from themselves? Right. And I don't know if that's something that you can answer. But, like, how do you do? do that. Just because your kids are

going to be who they are. And they're going to go through hard times. And it's like, do you want them to go through some hard times because that's when you grow? But like how do you sit back and watch that and be okay with it without just like you said, wanting to shake them? And be like, no. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, speaking to a mom's experience,

I have a one month old, so I'm very fresh at this. She's a month today. What is her name? Story. Story. Is there a story behind that? Kind of. It's beautiful. Thank you.

It's beautiful. Oh, she's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. I'm so obsessed with her. Well, actually, I had it made up in my mind that her name was Annabelle for nine months. I was like, that's my favorite name. Annabelle, like Collar Bell.

Yeah. And Aaron loved story. Yeah. And we found that name. Well, he's, he met someone is actually Brian Cranston's daughter's friend. Okay. That he met at an event. I remember him coming home.

home and he's like Taylor's friend's name is story how cool is that name and she's older you know they're in their like early 20s oh really and so he asked her he was like did you like growing up with that name like did other people like it because it's you know not it's unusual so just kind of like feeling it out right and she's like I love my name really like it's such a part of me and so that's where we found it and then um it throughout the pregnancy we kept kind of kind of going back and forth and I was like let's just or we both felt like this we're like let's just meet her and see how we feel like it feels odd to just name her like we haven't even seen this babe and like felt her energy yeah um and it was so interesting because I was so obsessed with Annabelle

and the minute I met her I was like she's not Annabelle like that's not her and she was story and so her name is Story Annabelle is her middle name gosh what a beautiful name I absolutely love it I love that I've never heard that name before yeah that I won't steal it I'm like I love that I have I always think about baby names I'm like I'm so I can't wait to be a mom and I just love hearing people's names what is your daughter's name Lila

And do you have a name picked out for a boy You don't have to tell me obviously well Yes and no we do and we don't It's so funny because with Lila We love the name Lila by the way Lila Mae And for so long I mean like we didn't even know

it was like at the gender reveal when we were like, is it a boy, is it a girl? We found out it was a girl and I like screamed out like Lila Mae Thompson without double checking with my husband but we just knew like that was going to be the name so it was fine. And so I mean for the whole like I was just like Lila like talking to her and so she was Lila like from the beginning

and it's just the exact opposite this time around which is so crazy because we were so set with her and with him we have a name that were like a 99% yeah like Chris only refers to him as this name yeah but I feel like we have it and maybe this is just like second baby there's so much going on right I feel like we haven't like thought about it enough but I also am getting which I never felt this way with Lila like I was like no that's her name like I'm going to see her and she is just going to be Lila I never had the thought of like I just feel like I need to meet her right but I feel like I can't like 100% like say

yes this is going to be his name yeah a because i think we need to brainstorm a little bit more but i mean i think it's going to be what we think it is but i also am getting this vibe of like i just feel like i want to meet him and just make sure yes so um yeah we'll see you at one of beach that's pretty special i know it's kind of crazy i feel like everyone i'm foreign to me a boy i'm right kind of scared of everyone i know all my close friends have kids and my sister my sister's the only one that has a boy and a girl. Everyone else that I'm close to has like either two girls, two boys, two girls, two boys. That's fun.

And I'm like, I just love talking about it. Do you see it to me like light up? I'm like, I love babies. Like I love babies. Yeah, but it's, it must be so wild to know that you are having this impact and then to have two daughters. Oh, yeah. You know, both are having a daughter. Like that's just so, I feel like

the universe is like, needs you to have and raise them to be these strong women. Well, you were pregnant on a tour. I was pregnant on our last tour So we're like speaking to these girls Like watching them go through their stuff And like I'm growing this little human This little girl and it was so

Yeah just a really surreal thing To kind of just think about her future And what that looks like Okay guys I know I talked about not wearing deodorant On the podcast with Alexis But that is a rare occurrence for me There is a new active deodorant for women Made by Secret.

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Is that weird? Yeah, it is. Is that a confession? I think so. secret active buy some we'll be back with more off the vine with kately bristow from podcast one and the voice of the american people it's time to fight back with barbara boxer it's so hard i think for the average person who has to get up in the morning to follow this stuff this is a problem solvable all we have to do is look around the world they have made a difference in florida

It's unbelievable Listen free and subscribe to Fight Back with Barbara Boxer Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, Podcasts, Podcasts, Podcasts, Podcast One.com, and the Podcast One app. If you love the show, share it with a friend, and leave us a rating and review. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. I wanted to say really quickly,

because before we started talking about names, you had asked about how you empower, like, your daughter. And I was saying, you know, I'm obviously so fresh at this. I'm not suggesting that I know. how to parent quite yet. Of course you do. Well, yeah, a little, tiny bit. But something that we've always shared with parents just based on our experience, being in

schools working with young girls for so long now, one is that it's so important to share your own story with them. When we go into a school, the first thing we do is talk about our own experiences. And if you can just break down that wall and been like, I've been there too. Yeah, because you're not speaking to them as you're above them and that you don't understand. You're like, hey, same thing with, like, my girlfriend always, she'll, sorry to interrupt you, but she'll get down on their level and speak like at the same, instead of talking down to them, it's like, no matter what you do in life, if you want to relate to somebody or have impact, I think that's important to share, like, common ground. Totally. And so thankfully, they think that we're not that much older than them.

Knock on wood, I hope that continues. So that, like, they look at us very much as, like, kind of a big sister. role. Of course. That plays a part too in what you're about to say. Yeah. But just, yeah, sharing your story, letting them know you've been there too, whether you were, you know, the victim or like if you were mean to someone and you regret

it, that's even more powerful in some ways to share like what you would have done differently. And, you know, if you're able to do that and have that conversation, they're going to feel more comfortable to come to you, obviously, to share whatever they're going through. But I think one of the most important pieces

of advice that we give to parents is, to get your kids enrolled in extracurricular activities because you have to go to school, right? And you have to see those people every day. You're kind of stuck in this routine and that can be really tough. But figuring out what it is that your son or daughter is passionate about, you know, do they like acting? Do they like soccer? Do they like science? Like whatever that looks like, do they want to play guitar?

And if you can figure out a way to support that creative passion, whatever. that is, it creates a confidence outside of school. And it creates a community outside of school. You start to meet people that are like-minded that are into the same things as you. And I know for me, thinking back on my middle school experience, I loved guitar. I was a tennis player. And I was really involved with Young Life, which is like a youth program. And, you know, there were a lot of people that didn't go to my school that I could kind of escape what I was going through and just be myself without all of those strings attached, and that was huge for me. That's a great point, actually, that you don't have a choice.

You go to school every day. You kind of, you are surrounded by who you're surrounded with. Yeah, and it just is by circumstance, whether than getting out and having something that you're passionate about and surrounding yourself with people that you love to be around. Yeah, and then through them kind of, you know, learning what it is that they're passionate about and, you know, taking a class or whatever that looks like, supporting that. you know, you're able to remind them that there's more than just your school experience. You know, there's a whole world waiting for you.

And this is just one chapter of your story. And I think that's one of the most, you know, poignant points that we make during our assemblies is just to remind them that there's a whole life waiting for you. Right. And as much as this feels like your whole world, it's not. I always think back to like to my experience in high school. I mean, I don't even really remember a lot of things from high school, which in the moment. you think it's the biggest moment of your life and it's like that's all that matters and it is at that point but that's again that light at the end of the tunnel kind of kind of thought where you just want to encourage them and be like I support you and I understand because when I was in school and blah blah and know that there there's just so much more yeah to come for you same thing with I mean being 25 or 26 I was the most lost I've ever been in my life and just in a matter of a few years I'm like hold shit I'm where I'm supposed to be like that's a few years ago which is not a long time ago I was like on the ground crying like lost and now I'm just like I'm like oh my gosh in in a matter of a few years I've not only found myself or like got to like really know who I am but I've I feel like I sit in a podcast room or I sit talking to I go around to school sometimes too and talk to it I'm like this is what I'm supposed to be doing and a few years ago I thought like life's over yeah

Well, that's what's crazy. And I feel like now we are able to have that perspective, having lived through what we've lived through. And we still have so much, you know, ahead to learn. And we'll be looking back at this moment in time at some point and being like, remember where we were then and here we are now. But I feel like when you're in school, it's so hard to wrap your mind around really and truly like all of the things that are ahead of you. Because it is so like your world. That is your whole world. Yeah.

And I think it's important to acknowledge that and not like take that feel. feeling away from them because like I mean we all remember like if that was our world like that girl that we were talking about her world was like on her phone based on you know her friends talking to her at school and so it's so important not to just say oh like you're going to get through this like what you're going through doesn't matter right now and you know you'll see that one day it's like no but really like it's okay that you're feeling this way because this is important to you right now but just really really really hold on to the fact that there is so much ahead of you. And there will be a point in time where you look back on this moment and you

realize it's insignificance. Or also equally, it's significance in teaching you more about yourself and learning about yourself. And, you know, I know, I think I can speak for both of us that we wouldn't take back what we went through when we were in school because it led us to where we are today. You're helping so many people just through your own experiences. And that's, I mean, we talked about this earlier. I don't even think we were recording with talking about failures and thinking of them as stepping stones instead of failures and what you go through in life and even mistakes that you make

who doesn't learn from a mistake? Oh, yeah. You know, I can remember a specific time that I didn't like a girl in, I can't even remember, I think I was in the seventh grade and my girlfriends were trying to convince me

to push this girl into a locker and I didn't do it but they were trying to convince me and I think someone ended up pushing her but I remember feeling like this is wrong, this is wrong, but I didn't like her so in my head I remember thinking like should I do it?

She ended up calling the cops and I had to go in and make a statement and then my parents were like so devastated because they thought I did this and again I didn't do it but I remember being in the moment and not even knowing who did it and I had to write a statement and everything

and I remember in that moment I was like this is like heartbreaking for me to go through that this girl was obviously so affected that she went to the police that I even thought about being mean to her And now I'm sitting in a police station writing a statement on how she was like affected by this and it really stuck with me and that was in the seventh grade and then I can remember other times being on the other end and getting bullied. But like it's just so wild the power of other people in that in that fragile state of your life and just learning how to navigate those feelings and having the self love and awareness to get through it. And now you're just look at where you are.

Oh, we love what we do and feel really fortunate to be able to go in and have these conversations and make an impact. Yeah. I'm just like, why doesn't all schools have this program? I don't know. Let's get the word out there. We don't have much time left, but I wanted to tell you, I wanted to do confessions and I wanted to tell you something that I think is really cool. So all the people that listen to this podcast have impacted me in some way because. because I can't believe how all these women come together through Off the Vine podcast.

And so I started a Facebook page. And my girlfriend really encouraged me to do it. She's like, it can be such a community. And I was like, oh, that's amazing. And I've always wanted, like, to do live podcasts and bring everybody together. But Facebook seems to make sense. And so it's just something I was really proud of that. I truly believe that since I heard about Kind campaign,

it's always been in the back of my mind of how to do something like that. And I thought of you guys while making the Facebook. Oh, I love that. And I, and honestly, it's been, like, the most life-changing thing. I think there's, like, 12,000 women in this group who just go on and compliment each other and bring each other up if they're having a hard day. That's so awesome. And it's anywhere from ages, I don't, I think the youngest person's, like, I think there's a 16-year-old in there to, like, a 60-year-old in there. And I'm just like, I mean, I'm not going to lie.

I know it, like, has a lot to do with who I am, but you really did inspire me for, without even knowing I'd ever. you or meet you that's so to be kind so just know the impact that you guys do have we love hearing on people thank you for sharing that that's really cool yeah that's amazing and i felt a little vulnerable saying that no i love that you're going to be me cry saying that it's really special for us to hear that but it is and it just it i hope everybody out there just knows how good it feels to be kind so and i and i do love what you said that is cool it's cool it's cool it's no yeah it's not no matter what age it's just i was so ashamed I saw a tweet I tweeted to Kim Kardashian like 10 years ago or something and I was like it wasn't like terrible but I was like why would I see that about her I was probably having a bad day I was jealous of her hair team and like you know something and I'll never forget I was like I'm an idiot I was that girl but I mean I'll admit it we've all been that yeah exactly right on both sides and I think it's so important to remember that and not beat herself up but like you're you're saying like that doesn't make me feel good looking back on that doesn't make me feel good and I think that's the important part I'm sure Kim's listening and this is

my apology time. Definitely. So, okay, I'm making sure I hit everything in my notes, my lack of notes. I usually do confessions in all of my podcasts. So I don't know if you have one for me,

but my confession already said that I followed you guys and was like, I want my relationship to be like, damn. So just like any, Anything that you want to get off your chest, and I will, ooh, I'm here for you. There's no judgment in this podcast. Confessions.

Well, gosh, I wish I thought more about this because this isn't like a great one, but being a new mom, I guess like I've just learned, I'm learning so much so quickly. And I didn't put in little breast pads. This is a good one. didn't put in little breast pads this morning and like I hate wearing bras like before having a baby I I literally never wore a bra because I just hate that never and so I'm like sitting before we did this podcast I took off my bra I'm like god this thing is so annoying I just took it off and then started leaking all over myself and so well it's dried up a little bit but like walked into this podcast for all you mothers out there with wet boobies and it was the best and it was just like that

moment where oh well my body's different now and that's okay it's amazing yeah it's probably so wild to accept these changes just because you like see this little life you've created and you're like anything is worth it incredible yeah no it really is Aaron and I were at the um vanity fair party the other night after the Oscars and I was like every 30 minutes in the bathroom yeah in my whole like my dress my whole thing just literally milking myself yeah and it's just like yeah it's great no but it's like it's so worth it Yeah, it's like the most amazing thing in the world. That's, I think that's such a cool shift in women, too, after having babies and how much more you're just like, this is my body.

And like, I've created, I always say that to my girlfriends. I'm like, your body, it's not like, they're not boobs anymore. Like, they keep a baby alive. Like, you are, you are keeping a child alive with your body. And that is the most beautiful thing. Oh, my God, yes. I couldn't, when you walked in, I was like, in your, how far along? Eight, eight months.

Yeah. And I was like, I know people don't feel beautiful in those moments. But when I see a pregnant woman, I'm like, you're the most stunning person I've ever seen. Like you are a queen. You are just like, I know you don't feel the glowing, but you are. And you're just like carrying life. And I'm like, women are so beautiful. Yeah.

They are. I was just sharing this with a girlfriend of mine, Sam, just a couple days ago, about like one of the most, I think, beautiful things that I've walked away from being pregnant. and then and then going through labor, which was, it was a gnarly experience. It was amazing, but tough. Yeah.

And I mean, tough is not the right word. Like, labor is crazy. Like, for everyone, you just like, you realize like,

wow, like women are insane. Like, we can do anything. Like, it's crazy. But something that has been so eye-opening for me is just as a woman,

like we carry so many, like we've talked about insecurities, especially like body dysmorphia, right? Oh, yeah. And that comes from so many different spaces but um through that experience just like looking at my body i mean you just said it but in such a different way having such a new respect for my body i'm like yeah you you know oh i wish this was different or whatever we like do that to ourselves all the time but i'm like we also your bodies and

you know whether you choose to have kids or not like your body also has yes it's capable of and like has this other like can have this other purpose and um functionality that is is so insane. It really is. And it really like made me look at myself so differently. Yeah. I am rad. Like this is cool.

Like, you know, like I have milk all over myself right now, but this is rad. Like, cool. You're like that can also keep a child alive. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. It is. It's really. Being a woman is a powerful thing. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a confession for us?

Oh my goodness. I've been trying to think because as we've been talking. well I'm like one that's coming to mine it's similar but not I feel like you're just more beautiful mine's more in like the pregnant state of being right now oh I know where you're going go there girl yeah oh you should hear really TMI no no you should hear the confessions that come out on this podcast they're amazing let me just say I wish I had a donut not to eat but to sit on right now because hemorrhoids while pregnant are so real yes and I've heard this them in a new way

that is rocking my world and I won't say much more because I don't want to freak anyone out but no that's again all my girlfriends were all so open with each other and they're just I really you know how people are like you cannot ever be prepared for motherhood or like pregnancy you have to go through it to really I really feel like I'm being set up in a proper way

because my girlfriends get so real with me what's that noise they're like don't talk about hemorrhoids make her stop make her stop No, talk about it This is what confessions are for But yeah, that's It's just what your body goes through It's crazy

It's important to be open about it You need to be prepped for it Because I feel like there isn't enough conversation Molly is like So inspiring in that way Like you're so honest about all of The good and the tough parts of it For sure

I do think that's I mean The basis of this whole podcast Has been like having conversation About important things And even if it's tough conversation to go there so yeah well i feel like it helps other people who may be going through something similar to realize that they're not alone exactly you know like if someone's listening to this

maybe sitting on their couch like on an ice pack like dealing with something similar they're like oh okay i'm not crazy i'm not like my body doesn't hate me this is actually for purpose and um and just knowing that you're not alone whether it's in motherhood or girls in high school or middle school it's just so important that's my last podcast that i just did was the the mental illness and and having conversation around that. And we have to wrap things up, but I did want to say, too, just on that note, my girlfriend went through the same thing as you with breastfeeding.

Oh, mastitis. And she was so grateful that you posted because she said she wished that she had been following somebody that had gone through that, so she was more aware. So she just wanted to thank you for being open and honest about that kind of thing because so many women don't know about it. And just to have someone out there who has people following them,

and can, oh, I am going through that or know what it is if they do start to go through it. It's tough. I got it twice within the first three weeks of having this little babe. And it's such a, I mean, it can affect people, I'm sure, so differently. Yeah. But it was so gnarly. I mean, it's like, and then you have this little baby who's like depending on you. Yeah, exactly.

And then Molly went through it as well. But I feel like it's this thing that, like, after I posted that, it was so crazy to read through comments. And it was like, every single woman's like, I had that too. and like why didn't anyone prep me about it and it's like wow we need to yeah have more conversations about you know anything that can come on anything that is I'm I'll close this podcast by saying that like I do want so many people to think of um there it is you guys the milk is back I literally I was like something's wet I'm leaking I also have a bra on now so like clearly I need to pump I need to go feed my baby we're ending this at the right time but that's I just

want people to use yeah take a picture for using using social media and using their voice for yes oh my gosh you still look so beautiful though oh thank you is anyone hungry now i am uh but yeah just using using social media for positive and not to tear people down or compare or anything just be mindful yeah with social media and how you use it and how you look at it so And I want to just say one quick, like, positive thing real quick, to leave it on this note. Like, we obviously, we've been in schools for almost 10 years now. We've seen such a shift in, like, just this conversation socially in the world and also in schools. Like, something that's been so amazing for us to see is when we started this, there was zero conversation about it.

Now it's rare that we walk into a school and don't see, like, posters on every wall that's like, this is how you detect bullying. This is who you see if you need help. like come you know to this room at this time during the day for support like there's such a different tone I think when it comes to bullying now and the other thing that's really amazing Molly was talking earlier about the different cards that we do the kind pledge the apology and the kind card to see the evolution in girls voices over the last 10 years has been so cool particularly in the last couple years yeah and I think it's really reflective of socially what's going on and how just like open and vulnerable and just like things

are changing but just in the last couple years to hear the types of kind pledges girls are making and kind cards and apologies and just like for the first time like girls standing up there and like talking about their sexuality or like saying like if you are struggling with you know feeling like you can't be yourself like I will be someone that you can come talk to or you know like just taking every big social conversation that's happening right now like we're watching that mirrored in schools and girls being so like on fire to be a part of that conversation and just empowered yeah yeah and so that's been really we've had so many conversations about that over the last few tours just seeing how mature yeah like it really feels like this upcoming generation is like on

fire and like ready for like no BS like we are ready to just like be that's kind and support each other. I've always been so fearful of having starting a family and having kids but I'm also when I hear these stories and hear what you're saying about walking into schools now I'm like that actually is really hopeful yeah and I think

as long as people like yourselves keep doing what you're doing and we keep having these conversations I just I honest I just praise both of you I think you're just changing the world so thank you you for being here and I just want people to know where they can go to donate where

they can find you guys and how they can get involved yeah yeah you can find more information about kind to campaign all of our programming the kind ambassador program the kind club curriculum our assembly program all at kind campaign dot com you can also follow us along on social media and our tours and adventures and then just also serves as like a great positive place um on social media at kind campaign and you can also donate at kindcampaign.com too thank you guys so much for being here. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having this. That will, you'll make a difference even just from this podcast. So thank you so much.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? Hi, everybody. This is Susie Orman, and soon we'll be launching my new podcast, Women and Money. don't you miss it on the show besides having a lot of fun we're going to answer financial questions from listeners and maybe just maybe we'll even put you on so we can have a chat which

you just love to talk to me so be sure to check out women and money on apple podcast podcast one dot com and the new podcast one app