Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Kristin Cavallari: Friendships, Spiritual Trips, & Dating Blips

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Kristin Cavallari, Founder of Uncommon James, co-host of the Back to the Beach podcast, author, mama, and so much more, is back on the pod! Since she was last on the mic with Kaitlyn over a year ago, the two gals have become fast pals, and they recap their recent New Years’ shindigs and the behind the scenes of their friendship. They’re also both opening up about recent spiritual journeys and the actions they have taken to become the most enlightened versions of themselves, from therapy trips to psychedelic trips. KB and Kristin also talk headlines and open up about the good, the bad, and the ugly of being in the spotlight, from dating (yes, they go there) to revisiting their public pasts. Kristin shares what her kids think about her dating life, what we can expect in the next season of her pod with ex Stephen, and how her mindset on relationships has changed during her last few years of being single.  Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: PELOTON - Explore Peloton Row and their financing options at onepeloton.com/row.  LET’S GET DEEP - Spice things up this Valentine's day with the game Let's Get Deep from the creators of What Do You Meme? and get 20% off with promo code VINE at whatdoyoumeme.com/letsgetdeep. JUST THRIVE -For a limited time, you can save 20% on a 90 day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic and Just Calm athttps://justthrivehealth.com/discount/VINE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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For a limited time, you can save 20% on a 90-day bottle of Just Thrive probiotics and Just Calm at Just Thrivehealth.com with promo code Vine. Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get ready to laugh, connect, and feel empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine. Lots of wine. And get candid.

They say vulnerability creates connection. So save the highlight reel for Instagram because when we're among Vinoes, There's no filter. It's time to unwind. Here's your host, Caitlin Bristow. All right, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and it feels so good to be back. I was a little nervous, to be honest with you, to come back into real life after being up in the clouds in my therapy, La La Land.

But after being away for almost a couple weeks, this conversation was exactly what I needed to get back into the swing of things. You may know her from Laguna Beach, or maybe just very Cavalry, or maybe you shop Uncommon James. But she's a mother of three, a podcast co-host of Back to the Beach. She's a multi-hyphenate boss-ass babe. She's my friend and she just doesn't hold back on this podcast, which we love to hear it. It's my lovely friend, Kristen Cavalieri, and we talk about what the heck went on between her and Tyler for New Year's, what's going on there? Who's she dating? Is she dating?

And a lot of other tea will be spilled. I promise you will be fully entertained. Enjoy. You're my first podcast since I've been back from the process is what they like to call it. But I was telling you earlier how my brain is just in la-la land. I'm like, I start thinking about, well, what would my spiritual self say right now? And then I'm like, you can't say that out loud, Caleb, for people who like have not done what you just did. It sounds fucking weird. But there were times I was sitting there laughing in my head being like, man, this could be a Netflix documentary.

Like, that seems like a cult, but it's not. And at the same time, I'm like, who cares if it even was? Because it was so enlightening. I love that. And I just walked away from it being like, I don't think I could know myself any better at this point in life. I love that. And that's the goal. Yeah.

That is totally the goal. I mean, it's just, well, you've done therapy and stuff before, have you? Yeah, I have. But Hoffman's like next level. I've actually talked about going. Oh, honestly. should. I know. Because even if, like, there's some people in my life where I'd be like, you really don't need, you know, like they've done therapy. Well, you've done, you've, like, learned about

yourself and you've done therapy and you, like, feel like you're in a good place. Yeah. But this is just, it takes you to the next level of, like, enlightenment. It just, I walked out of there going, holy shit, I'm, even if I'm by myself, like, I've got an army inside of me of, like, my intellectual self, my spiritual self, my emotional child. And you can kind of like navigate feelings through each different part of different emotions, like, or different parts of like your intellect, your brain, your body, your spiritual self. And then I don't know. But that's the whole thing. It's like, you know, we're always looking to the outside sources for validation when really everything comes from within.

And when you can get to that place of being so rock solid and being rooted like that. Yeah. You don't need anything else. from the outside world. It's a really empowering place to be. I'm very empowered right now. Yes, I can tell. I love that. It makes me really happy. I mean, I wish everyone could get to that place. I know. It's a practice though. Like, that's what I have found with like my spiritual practices or whatever it may be therapy, whatever. Yeah. You can feel how you're feeling, feeling so enlightened and feeling so amazing. But if you don't work on it, it fades. And then you kind of just go right back to where you were. So it is something that you have to actively continue. it's a whole like lifetime practice yeah because I can even see myself like just being home

being in my like the comfort of my own home going back into patterns right and then I'm like oh yeah this really is a practice what's nice about Hoffman too is that'll never go away that experience that I had it's just more of like being able to practice tap back into it like being aware of all the things that I learned but it's definitely going to be a lifetime of it is healing. That's why it's called a practice. I wish it was that simple, like one week of half and I'm like, great, I'm done. I know, just perfect.

I know. But if you, yeah, if you ever want to do it, it's... I know, I'm going to. I will at some point. It's just a matter of... Even, because I know it's a lot of like inner child work. And even for people who have either worked through their relationship with their parents, they don't know if they necessarily needed it because they had an incredible childhood.

Like, you walk out of their learning way more than you ever thought you knew. about your parents, you forgive them for things that you might not have even known you've been hanging on to. Right. You get to know yourself better than ever before. Okay, here's my question about the inner child stuff though. Yeah. So because I have this app and a lot of it is, it's all about manifesting, but really it's unblocking your blocks that you have from childhood or whatever. And there's a lot of these visualizations and it is going back to when you were five, let's say. Any time I have to do those exercises. Yeah. I can't come up with a goddamn memory. Not one freaking memory. So how, which I know is a trauma response. So how do you unblock that? I don't know what I get stuck there. Yeah. I hear you.

That was happening for me too. Like I was like, I don't remember anything. And they'd be like, well, the body keeps score. Like you will feel it in your body if you fully allow yourself to go into it. Okay. And so there were times where I was like, I don't really have a memory from this time. And I was like trying to get there. Yeah. And then little. things pop up. Yeah. And it's shocking how much can come up if you are like fully present in that process. Okay. So do you want to hear a crazy story? I've never talked about this publicly. So I with Justin, my best friend and I, we went to Mexico a few months ago, not that long ago. And it was a spiritual detox, essentially. Long story short, we met with a shaman and you had the option to do Bufo or

ayahuasca. Yep. I feel like most people are familiar with ayahuasca, but they're not familiar with Bufo. Okay. So how the shaman explained it to us was ayahuasca is like going for a walk in the forest yeah eight to 10 hours it's you're cruising right yeah bufo is like putting on you're on a rocket ship and you just go so buffo last for 20 minutes oh i was like i can do anything for 20 minutes right okay so we did buffo you smoke it yeah and i have never been so fpped up in my entire life in a good way or scary way in um it's in a good way but i just i feel like I want to do it again because now I understand it. Yeah. I was literally on a different planet.

I didn't know you could be this out of body, essentially. But long story short, my experience was my hands and my legs were super tingly. And I remember like in the midst of it kind of opening up my eyes and being like, I'm really tingly as this normal. And the shaman just said, you tell me. So I went, okay, yeah, it's normal. And then I just had tears streaming down my face. So when I came out of it and everything, he said all of that tingling.

is emotion trying to leave your body and then I just like lost it. Wow. Because our bodies, we do. We hold on to all of this. I have never felt so light and free in my entire life after that experience. Okay. Sold. Yeah. Did it make you sick at all? Not at all. Okay, because that was always my, I have unreasonable fear and phobia around puking. Yeah. And so with the ayahuasca, I was always like, oh my gosh, people like shit their pants and puke everywhere. And then it's like this beautiful journey. And I'm like, I don't know if I could bring myself to do that. But, that well we did have a girl on the trip with us who did say she threw up and what they sort of told us was that's really your body just trying to fight it like you have to surrender to it and just

so i went into it going show me whatever i need to see like just whatever i am supposed to be experiencing seeing feeling whatever and i just surrendered to it and clearly i just had to get out a lot of it was only 20 minutes 20 minutes 20 minutes i mean it's you know it varies like 20 to 40 minutes for most people, but like average 20 minutes. And you just shed a bunch of emotion and then felt so much lighter after. And I literally as I was coming out of it, I was like, I want to do it again because I totally get it now. No hangover whatsoever.

I mean, there's like a few minutes of like you're kind of in a daze. And then it's just totally gone. And do you have like clear memories of being in that? Not really. Not really, but some people do. So it's everyone has such a different experience. I couldn't tell you what I was seeing. The only thing I really remember is instantly it was like I was in a kaleidoscope.

Yeah. colors and the whole like the thing like but i don't remember exactly what the pictures were yeah and then i just saw like all of this sunlight and to me that was just like keeping me warm like everything's going to be okay sort of a thing and it's kind of wild because actually that trip my divorce was final you're kidding no so it was like a very therapeutic crazy thing to experience all at the same time and i found out as i was going on that trip that my divorce was final yes it was just like letting go of it all oh that probably was incredible. What a feeling. It was awesome. Yeah. And so from that experience, like now, do you still feel enlightened from that? Like, still lighter? Or was it just in the

moment? No, I definitely do. And I feel like those experiences just open up your mind to new things. Yeah. But it is definitely something where, no, I don't have that same feeling that I did for the first, like, two weeks after. Yeah. I actually felt like it took me a few weeks to really process everything. Yeah. Because it sits with you. Yeah. But I do think. I think I'll do it again at some point, especially now that I understand it. But they also say you do it if it, like you only want to do it if it comes to you. Ayahuasca too. It's like in a spiritual sense. It's like you don't necessarily want to go out seeking it. Like if you're ready to do it, it'll find its way to you. I believe that. Yeah. I really do too. That's another thing with

going through any kind of healing or like spiritual work is that it really does just open you up to another level. And then you start seeing really beautiful things where you're like, was I just blind to this before? Or did I see it and it didn't have meaning? Right. Like even just being in Hawaii after for those few days, I was like, am I a whale? Like I love you. I love you. Like, did you watch the whales be like, am I a whale? That's so great. By the way, though, you going to Hawaii after that experience? What a genius move. Best decision I've ever made in my life. Like, they tell you to, you know, go somewhere to digest everything you've just learned about yourself and learned about everything. And everybody's experience is so different because everybody's childhood is so different.

You know, like I, it made me almost realize, too, how lucky I was for my childhood because some of the things people have gone through is just heartbreaking. But after they were like, go somewhere for a few days, process by yourself, use like the tools we've given you. Don't go on your phone. Like, I did. But I didn't turn on a TV until last night for the first time. That's very good.

I read a little bit when I was there, but I really just, like, sat in nature and, like, sat and watched the whales and water. I got a Hawaiian blessing. Like, I was just on another planet, just soaking it all in. It was freaking everything. There's something about nature, too, when you're going through that spiritual stuff. It just, I don't know, it resonates. It grounds you. Yeah, it does.

It grounds you. And it's pretty special. It really is. Yeah. That was one thing I'll share about going through this process was at one point, they said, after some really heavy work they said just go out into nature and walk wherever you're like being guided to walk and see what happens and I was walking and I went down a path that actually said don't go down this path because of construction I was like but my soul is telling me to go down here

so I like go and I stopped and there was a family of deer and this one baby deer stayed back and literally we just like made eye contact for 30 seconds and part of like one of my patterns that I go into is comparison because I'm so fucking competitive. Yeah. I always want to be like the best at what I do. And so I sat there and I'm like, what does this mean? And I went back and they were like, okay, what did you see and what does it mean? And I was like, well, I ran into a deer and I made eye contact with it and I was kind of like, is this your land or is this my land? Or like, And then the deer was kind of like, we both could be here. Look at that.

And then I had a moment. And she goes, so you? And I was like, I belong. And we all belong. Oh, my God. I love that. I know. And it was like a really cool moment because I was like, I don't have to be so competitive

with other people. I can just, there's room for everybody. Which I try and preach that all the time anyways. But I get so competitive. And so I was like, that's, yeah. I love that. Yeah. It was a really.

That's amazing. I was like, shit, man, am I high? Am I on mushrooms right now? Like, what are you guys putting in the food? The food, I will say it was 10 out of 10. But I think I did, oh, 10 out of 10, like, that's a Michelin, from like a Michelin restaurant, I'm pretty sure. It was insane.

I was trying to think about if I will do like a full podcast on talking about this, which I probably will. But also, I don't want to give away too much for in case people want to go do this. Yeah, that's true. Because my best friend, two of my best friends did it. I was there and I was like, wow, they did not tell me. any of this and I'm kind of glad. Yeah. Because there was a lot of surprise elements to it. Oh, that's really neat. Yeah. Anyways. I'm doing it. You have to and I'm going to do, what's the one you

did? So, Bufo. You don't necessarily have to go to Mexico for that. Although I can give you the place I went. Yeah, I want to go where you went. I mean, it's not glamorous at all, but it was pretty special. It's like, so you fly, it's Los Berillos is the little town. You fly into Cabo, but it's on the other side. It's like how Cabo used to be like, you know, 20 years ago. It's not built up at all, but there's something just really special about it. Yeah. So I'll give you. Okay.

I'll give you all the info. I wonder if they do that in Hawaii. Oh, we should go to Hawaii. I don't go to Hawaii. We need to go to Hawaii. I love Hawaii. I haven't been in forever. Have you been to the Big Island?

I have. So when I was in California, Hawaii. Oh, yes. Fairly easy to go to. Yeah. Since I moved away from California, I mean, it's just too far. It's insane. It's crazy.

Like the way home, I was like, holy shit. It was five and a half hours to L.A. To L.A. Yeah. And then it was a three-hour layover and then another four and a half home. And that just takes it right. And I'm like a bougie-ass spoiled traveler. So I've like had a lay down bed.

And there was jet fuel like leaking or something. And they ran out of blankets. And I was like, I paid a test. Everything's a test right after half of me. It's like, how are you going to do this, Caitlin? I swear to you, everything was a test when I came out of it. There is, I'm so highly sensitive to sounds so badly. And during the process, there's a guy beside me that snorts, like, like, to like sniff.

And so I'm like trying to sit there. And I'm like, so I had to ask my teacher, I'm like, is this a pattern that I can't stand sounds? People make, she goes, no, I think that's actually like a neuro pathway. That's like close to your emotional part of your brain. That's like highly sensitive to it. Oh, interesting. So then I felt seen. Right.

I felt so same. All right. I have a question. I feel like I know the answer. Are you feeling stress lately? I think we can all feel that and relate to that. The holidays are over. The New Year's resolutions are made or not made,

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quickly promote a healthy response to everyday stress encourage a steady serene and balanced mood yes please drive mental clarity focus and alertness and even support great energy and optimal sleep so learn more about this groundbreaking company in the good gut health episode from december 21st where I went in depth with Tina the co-founder it was an amazing episode of ideas on myself And for a limited time, you can save 20% on a 90-day bottle of Just Thrive Probiotics and JustCom at Justthrivehealth.com with promo code Vine. And while you're there, check out all their other research-based products for optimal gut and immune health. It's been over a year since you were on the podcast. I was wondering.

Which is so crazy to me because it does feel like we've been friends for longer than a year. But the podcast feels like it was a year ago. Yeah. I know. Wow. Okay. That was really, that was how we met. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. That was the first time we ever hung out was on the pop. Which is so interesting. But it was so funny when we were together on New Year's and everyone was like, wait, you guys are friends? Like, wait, what? And I was like, yeah, just kind of felt like. Here we are. Yeah. I was like, haven't we always been? Yeah. What do you mean? This isn't weird. Yeah. People like, oh my gosh, this friendship makes sense. I know. Yeah, we both live in Nashville. I feel like we both are a good time. I'm damn right. Look at us go. New Year's was so much fun.

New Year's was so much fun. It was the best crew. It was a really solid crew. Solid crew. Yes. We're going to get into that. I figured we would. I'm ready.

I'm not going to get into the old dating anything until later. Let me have this glass of wine. Exactly. I know how you work. It's going to lube you up. And we'll get going. We got tequila here too. So you started your podcast back to the beach.

and you're already on season two. Yeah. How has that been going? Because were you always like, oh, I kind of want to do a podcast or did he come to you with the idea and you're like, okay, this could be good. Yeah. So I've had, I mean, a million podcast conversations over the years with people. And I just, to be honest, it seems like so much work.

Yeah. I mean, it is. And now that I have one, I can actually speak to that, it's a lot of work. And it's something that you have to do every week. Yes, it's a commitment. Yeah, it's a commitment. I even like I have a trip coming up to Europe in March and I'm like oh I have to bring all my podcast stuff to do all my ads which is fine but it's just like it's a lot and for it to not have an end date has always been really scary to me yeah my whole life since I was 18 in entertainment it's like you do a movie it's three months a TV show like everything has an ending yeah Uncommon James is actually the first thing that I've had that's like, I've had to sustain.

Yeah. So, and I also was like, I know for a podcast to be successful, I have to be 100% honest, have no filter, which is how I am. Right. And then that's how I get myself in trouble. And that's how I make the headlines. And I don't like that. So that was always my sticking point. And then Stephen came to me with the rewatch idea, which I loved.

Yeah. It was at the time, it was 40 episodes. We've since done more. But it was 40 episodes in and out, bang it out in a few months. Great. That to me was very appealing. And I hadn't watched the show since it aired. And to do it with Stephen.

It's just so I finally said, great, it worked out with my schedule. I am so happy that we're doing it because it's been a highlight of my career. It has been so much fun to be able to go and watch it and watch it with, you know, my boyfriend at the time, break it down, clear up some things. You know, it's been therapeutic. It's been fun. It's been emotional. It's been all of the things, and I have loved every second. And to be able to reconnect with a lot of the cast members, it's been amazing.

Because you go through so much with somebody and then, you know, you all go your separate ways. Yeah. And then that's kind of bringing you back together and reminiscing. And who doesn't like to reminisce? Even if it was a crazy time where you made mistakes or you had ups or down. There's a lot of shit I'm not proud of. I'm having no apologize almost every week. I mean, I was thinking about it.

I'm like, who wouldn't make mistakes at that age in their life on television? Like, who wouldn't? I know, 17, 18, just train wreck. I wouldn't be here today. I mean, I tell you what, if that show aired now, I think it's just... Well, it is airing now, isn't it? Well, true. That's true.

It's now on Netflix. That's true. We say some stuff. I'm like, that would never fly today. Right. It's just a different time. But, yeah, it's, also, I think with where TV's at now, I don't think the show would have been successful because it's pretty PG and watered down compared to what's

out there now. But at the time, it was pretty controversial. And, you know, it was new for the job. genre. So people didn't really know if it was real, if it was fake. That was sort of like the biggest thing about it. Oh my gosh. That's like the one thing I remember from, was it that or was at the hills, where they like at the end, they like pulled the hills. The ending of it at the Paramount lot when they told it was the green screen. That was cool. I freaking loved that. That was so cool. I thought that was the best way to end the whole series. I mean, everyone was

just like, holy shit. Just, yeah, I know. Because that was the biggest thing with it. People are always trying to point out that it wasn't real. Right. So thought Adam DeVello, the creator, that was his Yeah, I thought that was genius. It really was genius. Yeah, it was. Now, you say you don't like headlines. Nice segue. Oh, no, I'm not even there yet.

Okay. But do you see now that sometimes they can, like, help promote the podcast or, like, get people talking? Because I, too, hate headlines because I'm like, gosh, I hope people read the full article because the headlines are always so misleading. Yes. For example, I had a miscall from Chris Harrison yesterday because if you Google my name right now. Yeah, I saw him. There's a ghost, Caitlin Brousson. And I was like, I hope he didn't just read the headlines because I actually like said

in the episode of this podcast, I was like, you know, I shouldn't have made it about me. He was going through a lot, blah, blah, blah. So people read it. Yeah. But they don't want to write that in the headline. That doesn't get people to click on it. Yeah. But that's, it's funny now because I used to freaking get anxiety over headlines where now I'm like,

yeah. Okay, I need to be more like you because I guess where I'm at is I'm like, if you only saw headlines with me, I, you were. would fucking hate me. And I get that. I get that. Well, that's my thing. Right. But I'm like, that's not what I said or that's not what I meant or like. So that's where my frustration is. But to your point, I mean, yeah, there's been a lot of headlines from the podcast. It helps the podcast. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, so yeah. It's hard when it's, it's judging your character or painting you in a certain light that you're like, that's actually not real. Yeah. It's interesting

that even after all the time that you've spent in entertainment, that can still affect a person. and, you know, to not be painted in a true light where you're like, that's not me. That's my biggest thing. It's like, I don't care if people talk shit, don't like me. That's all great. But it's like when things are inaccurate, that's where I get really mad, which is most of the time. Yes. I mean, you know, I've never, to this day, I've been in this business for 18 years.

That's amazing. I've never read one article that's been spot on. Oh, yeah. Not one. So even if you're doing interviews, sometimes they even fuck up your words then. It's true. It feels like it should be illegal. I agree.

I'm like, that's not what I said. Yeah, that's insane. That feels illegal to me because you're totally skewing my words and then you're quoting me. And then making money off of it for an article. Uh-huh. And I'm sitting here giving you the time of day. It's bananas. A lot of times in interviews, you're not making money for the interviews.

Never, hardly ever. Yeah. So it's like, I know. I know. So that's, I guess, yeah, that's my biggest issue with it. But I do know. I mean, listen, it's like my dating life has kept. me relevant.

I get, you know, which is not my point. Which is so funny. Which is actually so funny because my dating life has been pretty minimal. But some way, somehow, it's kind of kept me out there. People are interested. They're interested. And I probably because people don't know a whole lot going on. And like the real me, when there is a headline, I would love to just come out and

be like, okay, guys, here's what really happened. Yeah. What's really going on. But I can't do that every time there's a headline. I was actually going to ask you about that because I was like thinking on one side, you have your own voice for either a podcast, social media, Instagram stories, where you can do that. But a lot of times that would just draw even more attention to the negativity where you're like, where's, where's the line here and the gray area of, you know, if you really want something to go away,

you literally ignore it. Completely ignore it. Yeah. I had to learn that the hard way. I'm always like, well, let me stand up for myself. And then I'm like, oh, shit. I know, but I totally get that because that's how I want to be too. Yeah.

I've also sort of taken a stance where, like, with dating specifically, where since my divorce, I really haven't commented on it. I mean, like, generally speaking, and I'll talk about it. But I've sort of just been like, until I'm in a serious relationship, what's the point? Because I'm dating. Right. I'm dating, which could mean I'm talking to a couple people or maybe I'm not talking to anybody right now. Or maybe just one or like nobody knows.

Yeah. But I'm not in a serious relationship. I haven't been in almost three years. Yeah. Which is incredible. Which is great. Yeah. I actually really loved it.

Yeah. I mean, it's been up and down. There's been moments where. I have wanted to be in a relationship. Of course. I'm so happy and content on my own and I have a very specific list that I want in a man. Yeah. And I'm not going to settle.

And I'm not just going to put up with someone's bullshit just because I'm lonely. Like I'm not. That is, I think, so important is we actually learned a lot about that in this last week, too, is about how loneliness seems to be so frowned upon, like by, you know, so many women that are like, oh, she's single in this age and should be. doing this. Like, they're living by this weird blueprint that is what you're supposed to be doing. But solitude is profound. And that's what you're doing. You've been in a relationship for however many years you were married and gone through so much with that one person. Yeah. That now you're like,

yeah, I'm dating. And I'm also like, okay on my own. Yeah. And I have three little kids. Like, I love and affection from my babies, you know? And like my cup is full in that regard. Like my boys. I mean, my daughter too, but like as far as like that male energy, like my boys freaking love me. They're so cute. They're the best. But like, and it's so funny because I talk to them about dating. They have very strong opinions about every guy. They've never met

a guy that I've dated. Well, sorry, I take that back. They met one guy on our first date because they were excited to meet him. Yeah. Other than that, they haven't met anyone. But I tell them who I'm dating, who I'm talking to. Yeah. And they, I mean, they have high standards for me too. I love that. I bet they do. I'm, I'm lucky enough

to be on your close friends, Instagram. So I get to see how cute they are with you. You guys are the freaking cutest. But I love that, though, because we all know kids are honest. Oh, very. Yeah. And I feel like they, even just being at your house at one time, like, they respect the hell out of you. Which is so cute.

I watched the Pamela Anderson documentary last night. And I was like, I really hope this is how my kids talk about me. Like, they love their mom. And they're very well-spoken. Very. She really did a good job with. I actually met Brandon doing The Hills reboot. Oh, really?

Two years ago or whatever it was because he was on it. And I was impressed with him, too. He was on it. He was on it. That's cool. Yeah. And I remember walking away from that being like, she did a good job with these boys. Totally.

She really did. And you can tell. I mean, her goal was to raise these boys well. Yeah. So anyway, but anyways, it like really struck a court with me because I was like, God, these boys love their mom. And I just really hope that my boys continue to love me like that this morning, dropping them off at school.

I was like, do you guys know who Pamela Anderson is? Did my oldest was like, yeah. I was like, how do you know who she is, first of all? But I was like, I watched her documentary. I'm like trying to explain it to them. They're like, what? That's amazing. I love it. I feel like you're like the best combination of a cool mom, but like also like a, you're a mom mom. Like you're a hands on all by yourself. And you love it. You love cooking and you love doing stuff with them. And I love watching it. It's really freaking sweet. So you're doing season two of the podcast. What are people going to expect this season listening? So this season, we continue to have really great guests on. You know, season two that cast. We have pretty much. everybody on. Really? Yep. Talon is coming up, uh, which people, he's like made this resurgence on

TikTok. Like we call him TikTok talent. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But season two was definitely a lot of drama. It's maybe not as much about me. I narrate season two of Laguna Beach, but the drama wasn't always about me, which was actually kind of nice as a viewer or going back and watching it again. Um, so that was nice. But there's a lot going on because it's a new cast. I feel like a season two of any show, now people know what they have to do to get more camera time. the people were bringing their A game. Totally. It's just a wild season.

That is funny. That's like when people do like the women tell all or the men tell all on the Bachelor series. It's like their auditions to go on like Bachelor in Paradise. So they're like really showing up with their A game to be like, look at me. I'm good TV. And I've got to respect. I mean, you know, that's like the Housewives. If you're not bringing it, you're not on the show.

Yeah, you're not on the show. That's so true. You know what you have to do. My gosh. Would you ever do Real Housewives of Nashville if they? Hell, no. I tell you what, because again, same with the podcasting. I know what I would have to do to make it successful.

That door is closed. What if it was like in my early 20s? No. Good for you. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I'm very happy just being at home not just like my life. Because you've done a lot.

I've done it all. Like I'm 36. I've been having this conversation lately because I'm sort of at this point in my life where I'm like, okay, what else do I want to do? Right. I can't come up with anything. Yeah. I've done a lot of great things.

And I'm really happy about that. Right now in my life, I don't want to miss another basketball game that my kids have. I want to be at every single thing. Not that I'm missing a lot, but I've missed a couple from photo shoots out in L.A. or whatever it is. And I don't want to do that. I have uncommon James. I'll forever have that.

And that really fills my cup, too. My work life balance is so great. It's more life right now. And I like that. Well, you've worked really hard for that, too. I've worked really hard. I have a cookbook coming out in April. I'm going to be really busy in April.

The podcast will take me through June. I'm not lining up another thing. Good for you. That's such a good place to be. Like, you so deserve it. And like I said, you've worked so hard. And let me just tell you every time, because I work out at TrueMav, which is right beside Uncommon James.

And every time I'm like, this place is always just like lineups out of the door. Like, before people even get to the door, they're already taking photos from far away. Being like, there it is. Like, it's like a thing. That's awesome. I mean, that makes me so happy. Yeah. I'm so thankful for Uncommon James for so many reasons.

But it's, yeah, it's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. career-wise, you know, professionally. Yeah. I'm just really thankful for it. And that's because of, you know, my fan base from Laguna Beach. Like, I really, the older I've gotten, I've realized, like, everything is building blocks and it all makes sense. And I don't know that I would have on Common James.

If it wasn't for the fan base from Laguna Beach, who have grown up with me and support me now. And so I'm just thankful for it all. It's true. They really, like, certain shows have that loyal fan base who will stick with you through everything. Yeah. Bachelor is like that. Bachelor is very much like that. I wouldn't have anything that I have without.

the loyal following them from that. Yeah, it's amazing. It is amazing. Okay, support for today's episode comes from the perfect Valentine's Day gift. Let's Get Deep. Let's Get Deep is the hottest game for couples that you've probably already seen all over TikTok, Instagram, from the creators of What Do You Mem? I'm obsessed with that game.

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Right now is the perfect time to get rowing with Peloton Row and we can promise you've never rowed like this before. Peloton Row offers a variety of classes for all levels and game-changing features that will help you get rowing or advance what you already can do. Explore Peloton Row and financing options at OnePelaton.com slash row. Watching it all back, because you said you didn't watch it until you're doing this podcast. Is that, because it's so long in the past, are you able to be like, holy shit, or does it actually bring up emotions for you? For the most part, I can separate it. Yeah. And I can just laugh at it.

Yeah. You know, it was a challenging time for me in the sense that I really was labeled as the villain, the bitch, when I really felt that was unfair, which is interesting because now that it's airing again and people, I've had so many people reach out and be like, I hated you back then, but now I didn't, you're not, you weren't the villain at all. Yeah. That's nice. You know, 18 years later, it's nice. Yeah. But I was, I mean, I was a kid. Yeah. And so. that was really difficult and, you know, and then overnight we were famous and that was weird. It was just like a weird time in my life. So it's brought up some of those feelings, but I've worked through all of that. And so it's okay. But for the most part, I can just kind of watch it as a viewer and laugh at it. Yeah. That's, I saw, not me going back to headlines. The whole, there was like, you had to address some cheating rumors with him recently. Yeah. How was that? Well, it's so funny because

clearly I blacked that out of my memory I was like wait I cheated on you I'm so confused yeah I made out so I was a waitress at this restaurant called Salt Creek Grill in Dana Point at my sophomore and junior year before MTV came and when I was dating Stephen and I made out with this server

I remember I mean I remember going to his house with my friend Alex and making out with him yeah but I forgot that it was when I was dating Steven that's so funny to have to relive that but you're like that's not even that was even me. I'm sorry. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's pretty interesting. Here's like, when you're 16, 17, 18,

you do dumb shit. Yeah. I didn't think about anybody else except for myself. Yeah. Probably continue that into my early 20s, to be honest. Who doesn't? I don't think it was until I became a mom that I was like, wait, I have to put someone else before me. Right. You know, I think we're just naturally kind of selfish anyways. But that could be healthy too. It can obviously hurt people, but I heard a few people along the way. But I have too. And mine didn't have to be on TV. I totally made idiot mistakes.

18, 19, like, and I didn't care about the repercussions. Yeah. Now my conscious would not let me sleep at night if I did something like that. Where back then I just didn't have, you know, the heart or the knowledge or the whatever I have now that I'm like, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. But that's when you're supposed to do it. Totally. Look up when you're 18.

Oh, my God. Do all of that. Please do all that. Yeah, do it. So then you can. grow up from it and learn from it. Yeah. Because you definitely, you don't think about the repercussions, but then you definitely feel

them. And then you have to, you know, that guilt is just not worth anything. So, but I'm sure you probably learned just so much about yourself watching it back because you black out so many memories. Like, I've been wanting to do a podcast episode around rewatching my season of Bachelorette because Ariel was over at my house. Do you know Ariel? Have I?

So I know of her, but I've never met her. Oh, she seems awesome. You would love her. That's what, yeah. She's in Nashville right now, too. she's you gotta we should go yeah we should all hang out we'll do that she's amazing but she was like yeah I never watched your season and we were talking about horses of all things and I was like oh there's an episode that was so funny I was on a horse with Ben Higgins and blah blah and she was like let me see

it and so I pulled it up that one episode and then we got so into the one episode and I want to watch it and I was like oh my gosh again I blacked things out and that was seven years ago I know so I'm like I can't even imagine rewatching something that you probably have like zero recollection of a lot of things. A lot of things. Yeah. I think I just don't have a good memory. Like, that's what I'm gathering. Like, Stephen will remember all of this stuff. Really? And I'm like, how do you remember? Like, I literally don't remember anything. Oh, that's interesting that he does. I know. Like, details. Wow. I know. How old is he? He's only a year older. I mean. Yeah. That's crazy. What cast members do you, like, you still talk to all of them. I do. Yeah. There was. And you know this because you didn't

watch Bachelor and I never watched Laguna or The Hills. I don't. I don't think it was a, no, it was a thing in Canada. I don't know why I didn't watch it. But I know certain things. And I know that there is always drama with Lauren and people. Were you someone that had beef with Lauren? Yeah. So I would say I was like the first one to have beef with Lauren.

And then she went on to do The Hills and then everyone else did too. But so the original beef was the love triangle between my boyfriend, Stephen and I. Oh, it was your podcast host. Mm-hmm. Oh. And she was recently on your podcast. She came on. Yeah.

So that was a big moment. You know, I think the audience really was, like, very excited about that because it was the three of us coming together. First time we've all been together since high school. And was it? It was great. It was great. And, I mean, I've seen Lauren.

I haven't seen her in a while. But we had seen each other after we graduated and everything. But no, it was great. It was good to see her. I bet. It's been a wild ride. Yeah. Yeah.

So, like, go. I don't know. It's just, of course, we all mature and grow as humans over there is where you can let stuff go from back then. Right. And then to make a podcast around it, I don't know. She's been a lot of apologizing all around. Which is so good.

Which is great. It's been very therapeutic. I was going to say I have a tough time apologizing, but if it's from that, yeah, I do. But if it's from that long ago, I think I would be like, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Because it's like, who cares? At that point, yeah. Yeah, maybe I'm a good at apologizing just not in the moment.

That's what it is. I get that. I'm actually kind of the same way. Are you? I'm working on it. I'm working on it too. Clearly I'm working on it. Doing so much therapy.

Have you noticed a difference in your social media? because you're saying that people are now coming back, being like, wow, I thought you were this, but now I see you're this. From it being on Netflix and doing this whole, you know, podcast and everything, do you see it in your social media of people like rewatching and talking and learning more or having more open mind to it? Well, I've just been, I've been getting a lot of DMs about it. And I don't always read my DMs. I don't read my comments. Sometimes I will kind of just like go through the DMs and see what people are saying. And I've, the most DMs I'm getting right now are about people.

watching it. Yeah. And so that's, that's been cool. It's been, I know. It was such a freaking huge hit. And now for it to be on Netflix, that's insane. I know. Well, and the fact that the podcast has done so well, it just makes me, I don't think I realized how big the show was until the podcast was so successful. Really? That I was like, wow, I mean, all these years later. Yeah. People are so invested still. Still. Really. It's pretty amazing. Yeah. I think that's why people are so invested in your dating life too is because they've seen you go from you know, like dating to marriage

to now dating again and they're like, they want to like be on that ride with you. I wish I could share all the details, you know. That's for dinner later. Exactly. People were just obviously going nuts about you and Tyler, but I'm like, I'm not saying anything. She's coming on my podcast. She can say

whatever. You guys aren't dating. No, we're not dating. But like he's a great I love Tyler. He's such a good guy. He's great. And he was my New Year's date and we had a ton of fun but we're not like he's not your boyfriend he's not my boyfriend yeah I don't have a boyfriend I haven't had a boyfriend almost three or well I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time right I haven't had anyone serious in a long ass time do you feel ready for if that person comes along so I do I think my schedule for the next few months wouldn't

allow it yeah and um but I think like come this summer if someone want to come around yeah I would be ready yeah I'd be ready I think so too I feel like this is such a good age it is it's I'm in a good place for dating because I have my kids you know I have my company like I I don't need anyone for anything other than just someone that I want to spend time with who I enjoy who literally just like yeah that just adds value to your life and brings you like happiness yeah yeah yeah so that's kind of nice but it's hard yeah oh gosh when you have all you know these qualities that you want it's um the pool's very small yeah I can't even yeah And my age is interesting because I feel like most people are married.

So I've dated a lot of guys 28, 29. Yeah. Not ideal. Right. I'm like, where are the 44 year olds? Right. They're married. That's true.

You got to find the freshly divorced ones. I know. So I might have to wait another minute. But like most guys that have come my way have been late 20s, which it's too. I can't. Because you're like, I don't have the patience to wait until you have figured your shit out. You know what I've realized too? I'm really happy if someone is beginning their.

career and trying to make a name for themselves and hustling. I really respect that. I'm not here for that. I need someone who's established. I'm on the other end of that. And you're allowed to be. Yeah. You know? Like I'm like I want to just chill. I want to see your list. I want to see like the non-negotiables. The other day I wrote I was like I got to get very clear about what I want. So I literally wrote it like two days ago. That's great. Yeah. I did that too. When Sean and I broke up, I was like I'm writing a whole list of non-negotiables, boundaries, things I want, things I don't want. Mine is very clear. Yes.

So it's good to have that right now. It is because then you can say, okay, this guy that just came knocking down my door. Did he truck these boxes? No. Okay. Well, then what the fuck am I doing? It's true. I feel like it helps having this.

I'm a big believer in writing things out as well and holding yourself accountable to it because you know it's for your own happiness. I know. It's not because you want to be difficult. I know. And God, I've swayed on a few guys where I'm like, oh, well, you know, whatever. Well, you're also allowed to have fun. But that's the thing, too. But then if I'm trying to find a real boyfriend, I do feel like a lot of these guys are tests from like, oh, well, bright shiny objects.

I'm like, I know I should be saying no, but how fun. It's all fun. It's all good. It's all fun. And along the way, you're realizing what you do and don't want. Exactly. With each guy that I even just talking to, I realize another thing about what I want or don't know. So it's all, it's all good. That's incredible. You're in a good place. Thank you. You know that. You know that. Wait, I actually had a quick question about it coming back on Netflix. Do you guys get, like, royalties? God, I wish, no. That's bullshit. We didn't make anything on Laguna Beach.

So, when they go to put it on Netflix, do they even come to you? Or were you like, holy shit, it's on Netflix? Holy shit, it's on Netflix. Crazy. Oh, I didn't realize that. Yeah, no, we don't make anything. I would have, I mean, I think we made $2,500 the first season of Laguna Beach. I would have done it for free.

Really? I was like, put me on TV. Let's go. I'm ready. Yeah, no kidding. all right everybody we are doing a little pause to get into some romance you know what time it is peloton romance that is so miss cavalier and i were just discussing all the things friendships and in this episode it just kind of made me think about all the amazing friends i have in my life and all the weird shit we get into together so i thought we could make this week's peloton romance segment all about friendship romance because love from our friends is just as important as love from a partner if you ask me so i posted on my Off the Vine, Instagram, asking you guys for some confessions about you and your bestie. And let's just say I was very entertained reading these and picking them and which ones to read for this podcast.

So I'm going to share some of them with you, but I feel like we might have to do a follow-up to the segment with even more because I just love this. I don't even care if it's for Peloton or not. I want to continue this. Someone said, my best friend and I eat our favorite sauces and condiments with our fingers and pretend we're doing inner child work because we're playing with our food like kids. When really we all know sometimes you just want to eat hot sauce like an animal. I actually do this. Honey mustard for life. Someone said, I married my best friend's high school sweetheart and now we have two children.

Okay, what? I need more info. What are your friends' feelings about this? I need stories. Okay, this isn't friendship related, but someone submitted this and I, D-I-E-D. I have to say that because I talk to my girlfriend on the phone all the time and she puts me on speaker and she has two little boys that are really afraid of dying. So I say, D-I-E-D.

Boyfriend cheated on me years ago, so I sent him a used tampon in the mail. Oh, my God. Do we know how he reacted? That is amazing. Maybe I should do that to somebody. I have a few people I could send him to use tampon to. Someone said, during the pandemic,

my bestie needed a bikini wax, and I had neir wax. So I waxed her. That is a good friend. friend. That is a really good friend. I'd wax one of my best friends. Sure. I'd make them wax my butt hole too. Anyways, someone said one time on vacation, I lost track of one of my friends and found her in the driveway having sex. You're on vacation and you have a driveway? Sounds boozy. I don't care about the sex part. Where are you staying? Someone said, my best friend had stomach cramps and

diarrhea in the family's bathroom and stripped down naked to poop, then threw up on the family bathroom floor while pooping. Okay, I'm going to throw up right now. I tried to get her to tell someone, but she was too embarrassed, so we just left. Oh, wow. I mean, shame on you, actually. Just leave it there. This reminds me of dumb and dumber when he's sitting on that toilet and he's just like, they'll be out in a minute. And then he just takes off. Okay, someone said, me and my best friend bought matching jumpsuits thinking we'd look like sisters. So we went to lunch. We got asked if we your mother and daughter were a year apart. Oh, I'm sorry to laugh.

That sucks. L.O.L. Okay, so I don't know if you're feeling the romance from those, but you know what? I am. No, I'm not. I'm actually going to throw up. But is there really anything better than having a weird moment with a friend? I don't really think so.

So that's romance in my eyes. And speaking of Romance, Peloton Row brings game-changing, personalized form features to rowing to help you learn and master your stroke. That can also be romantic. and right now is the perfect time to get rowing with Peloton Row. They can promise, and so can I, because we all know I've tried it, that you've never rowed like this before. Peloton Row offers a variety of classes for all levels

and game-changing features that help you get rowing or advance what you already can do. So explore Peloton Row and financing options at OnePeloton.com slash row. We're going to play a little game before I let you go. First of all, do you have a confession for me? I have been sitting here for a week trying to come up with something. I don't get embarrassed. And last time I came on the pot, I remember, I was also like, oh, I have nothing. Right.

So that's true. I get that, though. I don't. Like, I don't get embarrassed. Yeah. So I know I'm the worst. I can't come up with any. That's okay.

I'm trying to think of, I feel like I thought of a couple things during Hoffman that I was like, wow, that was embarrassing. Really? Yeah. And I should have wrote them down. Let's see if I wrote any down. Sometimes I just go into my notes and my confessions and go, that was something too where I'm like, we were doing some pretty crazy shit there where I'm like, I don't really get embarrassed either. Yeah, which I mean, I think it's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's very rare that I'm like red face. Like, oh my God. I will say it was a little embarrassing. There was one guy at Hoffman that was kind of like standoffish to me for a while. And then I totally thought he was coming up to me at the end to be like, oh, you're an incredible person. He was saying that, but he was totally looking past me. And I did one of those. like, oh, thank you. And I would talk to him and he was like, oh, let's talk to the person behind you.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. That's a good one. Yeah. It was not bad. It was just kind of, I was like, okay. Yeah. You still don't like me. I like that. Yeah, you still hate me. Great. That's cool. Fine. Okay. Well, you might as well put that phone back in your hand because I have a question for you. And it's called, we're playing a game called The Last. The last thing you search for on Google. Well, I'm on Uncommon James. I mean, I'm not just making that up. I'm not just trying to plug my company.

I'm searching uncromanjames.com. You do have great shit on there. I've got to say. Thank you. Your candles. Oh, thank you. I'm going to keep you stocked up. I am obsessed with your candles.

Thank you. Mine is true food kitchen. Oh, that's a good one. Is that where you got lunch? Yeah, I did. Chop salad. And then the thing before that was Elvis Presley's best songs ever. Oh, that's kind of funny.

This is kind of a funny confession. Last night, Jason and I went for sushi and on our way back, I was like, do you want to stop and get a beer at Buffalo Wild Wings? And he was like, yes. And we stopped there and we chatted with this old man at the bar about Elvis for like an hour. And we got involved in his little football squares and we're now in like a text conversation with him and a bracket. Yeah. Wow. Look at you guys.

We made friends with Chris at the bar of Buffalo Wildwings. I love this. And now you're looking up all of the songs. And now I'm looking up all the songs. Anyways. Okay. Okay. The last vacation you went on. Was it Mexico? I was just in Mexico for my best friend's wedding. Yeah.

That looked like fun. It was so much fun. Well, she's fun too. She's a good time in that one. That's awesome. The last time you cried. I had tears in my eyes this morning saying goodbye to my kids. Every Friday we switch.

And so I, yeah. Yeah. I feel like that's something that probably never gets easier either. No, it doesn't. I mean, and I'm not going to lie. Like some mornings, I'm like, oh, my God, please leave. Yeah. I'm like, I can't fucking wait to have a minute.

But that lasts for two seconds. But no, it's, I hate saying goodbye time. Yeah. I hate it. Oh, sweet. Okay, the last time you drank too much, probably Mexico. Mexico. Yeah.

Mexico. This is my first sip of wine in like almost two weeks. How's it taste? Do you like it? It's really good. I know you like a pinot. I love a pinot. The last person whose DMs you slid into.

You know, I'm not much of a slide into their deal. I can't see you doing it. I'm not. And I fight with Justin all the time about this is my best friend because I want the guy to make the effort. Yeah. I'm all about a girl making the first move. I'm here for that. But where I'm at in my life, I actually want the guy to put in some work because guys don't know how to do that anymore. That's true. But I mean, I've had, I've had like, okay, I'll tell you the, well, I won't say who it is. There's a hockey player that recently slid into my DM. So I'm chatting with. That's fun. Hockey players are fun. Yeah, they are. As a Canadian, I know from experience. Oh, you know what game it was? What? The one that you were. You were. You were. At too when I was with my kids. It was, yeah, I'm not going to say the two. He saw you there and then reached out. We're two rows behind the visitors bench. So I get a lot of hockey players after the games. First of all, that's really funny because you think they're so in the zone, like in

the game and then you're like, wait, you saw me there? I've had a lot of hockey players because we have season tickets to the prize. So I take my kids a lot. And we're literally two rows behind the visitor's bench. So from those games, I've had quite a few hockey players. That is really funny. Yeah. Again, talk about this a dinner.

Okay. the last text you sent. I'll tell you right now. Okay, my best friend Beeggs, Stephanie Beagle is her name. We call her Beeggs. She just had her wedding photos come out. So I said, I said, your wedding picks, what the fuck is so good. Oh, nice. That's cute. That's pretty G-rated. The last show you binge-watched. Succession is probably. That's on my list. It's so good. Okay. Yeah. It's actually one of my favorite shows. Yeah.

Jason just told me he said I would love it. It's really good. Okay. It's really good. Get through the first like two or three episodes. Yeah. Okay. And then the last one, the last time you felt inspired.

I am feeling very inspired right now. Like in the last few weeks, I feel like I've kind of taken control of my career again in the sense where it's like, I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do. Yeah, I love that. Everyone was like, you should do another podcast. You should do another cookbook. Like all these things. And I'm like, I just, I don't want to do anything right now.

That's just, truly, that's the dream, though. Yeah. Because it's not like you're like, no, I don't, like, you have done so much that you're at a good place in your life where you can make those decisions. Yeah. And it's crazy how much that, like for your mental health. It's crazy how much being able to have that actual balance will just make you a happier person. And then the right things will align with you. That's my thing. I'm like, something else will come. Like, and again, but now I'm like feeling really re-energized for Uncommon James. because I have been doing the podcast before that I did a cookbook. So I actually haven't been in the office

with Uncommon James every day. Like, that's kind of taking a back burner. Yeah. So now I'm excited to like put 100% into that again. Yeah, that's awesome. So good for you. Thank you. You're freaking badass.

You're killing it. I love you. I'll love you too. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine. Don't forget to rate, review,

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