Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Kristin Cavallari: Selfish is a good thing

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

Kaitlyn finally has the opportunity to return to in-studio while she’s home in Nashville for a longer stint of time than she has been in months! She kicks off in-studio with a bang with none other than Kristin Cavallari, who most know from her days on Laguna Beach, The Hills and more recently, Very Cavallari. Although she rarely does interviews, Kristin is an open book during her chat with Kaitlyn and the two share some major laughs through it all. She shares all about the difficulty separating from her ex-husband Jay Cutler, navigating co-parenting of their 3 children, dating (including her ex), checking those DMs, running her successful jewelry company Uncommon James, how she sets boundaries with toxic people and all the things she gets up to on her weeks without the kids. Of course a convo with Kristin would not be complete without a little reminiscing of her highschool days, how she originally got cast on Laguna Beach, how she felt like she was not portrayed accurately and where things stand with L.C - the only person she did not want to be voted prom queen. You can find Kristin on IG at @kristincavallari @uncommonjames @uncommonbeauty @littlejamesclothing CHINET - Chinet Brand makes premium disposable tableware for all of life’s gatherings. Visit mychinet.com to find out more. CROCS - Head to crocs.com to cozy up today! NATIVE - Right now you can save 20% on your first purchase when you go to nativedeo.com/VINE or use promo code VINE at checkout. GEICO - Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It’s GEICO-easy! SUGARWISH - With gifts starting at $22 delivered, Sugarwish is guaranteed to be your go-to gift for everything. Go to sugarwish.com/VINE for $10 off. TALKSPACE - Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and use code VINE to get $100 off of your first month. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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to find out more. You're listening to Caitlin Bristow's podcast, Off the Vine. Take it away, Bree. Wine. Lots of wine. Hey, be on the mic, turn it up. Let's go. Hey, ramen.

Pino. Ready for the show. Everyone's welcome. So come on in because OTV is about to begin. Hey. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. And hello from inside the studio, bitches.

Yes. I'm so excited. It's been a long-ass 20 months of doing Zoom interviews and also a long-ass number of months traveling everywhere and to be in the studio right now to do a face-to-face podcast with none other than Kristen Cavalry is just making me so happy. Also, I've been traveling everywhere, which will be happening again soon for my Bride and Dirty podcast tour. And don't forget to get your tickets if you haven't already because you know what?

Some cities are already sold out. Go me. But while I'm back in Nashville for the month of October, in addition to snuggling the crap out of my dogs, Jason, I am getting some in-person interviews in and I couldn't be happy. happier. Kristen and I had such a good conversation. I just adore her. She's just a well-balanced mother of three. We talk about what's gone on in the past years with her separation from Jay co-parenting. We talk about her successful business, Uncommon James. We just talk about everything she has going on. And I don't know how she has time to do anything else. And we kind of talk about

that too with balance. So her new norm as a single woman has proved to have a bit more life balance. I ask her if she's dating. And she just shares everything. It's really, really a good conversation. And of course, we touch on the good old days of Laguna. Had an amazing time. Be prepared to feel motivated and reach your dreams after listening to this woman. Go. I can't believe I'm back in the studio. We're just talking about how much we f***ing hate Zoom. You get Zoom fatigue. You get insecure. We're all staring at ourselves. We're not even paying attention to what the other people are talking about. No, it's nice to be in person.

Cheers. I feel like this has been a long time coming. I know. Me too. Like, it's funny how this all happened. And Justin just, you know, he was always like, you and Kristen have to hang out. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm not, no, I do force friendships on people. But I was like, it'll happen naturally if it's going to happen.

I'm not going to be like, hey, I don't know you, but do you want to hang out. So the fact that this happened, I'm like, it's just all meant to be. I agree. I agree. Yeah, we have a lot of mutual friends. Yeah, we do. I've always obviously known who you are. And Justin, he's one of.

our mutual friends. He always says how cool you are. And I swear as we get older, it's really hard to find just like normal cool girls. What is that? I don't know. Well, I think a large part of it is social media and this whole generation now. It's ruining us. Like, do you think everyone's just trying to put on a facade and be somebody else? Or do you think they're just trying too hard or they just care more about the numbers and the like... Yeah, I think we've lost sight of what's important. Like, to me, like, real connections are important. Not just what I'm posting on social media or whatever. Or it's like if you go on vacation with a friend, for example, if you're on your phone the whole time, it's like, why are we even here together? Like, let's hang out. Like, yeah, we'll take some picks, whatever. We'll post later. Right. I love these photo dumps now that everyone's doing. The photo dumps is where it's app because then you're like, okay, just take some photos and then, you know, I worry about it later. This is something Jason and I argue about a lot. I'm like, you don't have to document everything right now. Let's just take a knee. It's funny because Justin, we were together on New Year's with a group of people, loves his Instagram. And I got mad at him

on years. I was like, can you just put your phone down and be here with us? It was like the one time we've gotten in a little tip. I love the choice you've made to, you know, keep your kids life private. And I wanted to ask, I mean, I'm sure I can guess why, but tell me in your words, like, why that's important for you. Yeah. And people do ask me a lot. I made the decision not to show my kids when my oldest was probably like six months or so. If you actually go to the very beginning of my Instagram, there are a couple of baby photos of them on there. But we just, decided a couple things the main one being we don't know if they want to be on social media you know I mean they're little kids when they're old enough to be on social media if they want to be right

I'll post their photos I can't wait to share my babies with everybody you know but I don't want to rob them of that decision my kids what you know one of them may end up being really private and not want to be on social media and not want any part of that life and and I don't know that yet they don't know that yeah so I just want to give them the freedom to make that decision themselves I love that And you actually have inspired me to think about that because I used to think like, same thing. I can't wait to show my babies. And then I'm like, wait, this whole social media world, I get really deep on it because it's robbed me of some happiness sometimes and like comparisons and insecurities and all these things. And I'm like, I don't want to do that to my kids.

And I want to give them that decision because, I mean, if I had social media growing up, one, I would have been in a lot of trouble. But two, I would have I would have loved it too much. exactly and I would have got myself in a lot of trouble and I think it's important to give your kids that decision especially when you do have such a big platform yeah and I also think there are paparazzi photos of my kids out there when they've been in L.A. with mayor in New York there are there's nothing I can do about that I mean I can just do what I'm yeah I can control yeah but I don't necessarily want them to be super recognizable either I don't know just from a safety standpoint just I want them to be kids I want them to live as normal the life as possible while while they're still really young. I think I first got Instagram when I was probably 26 or so. I can't imagine having it in my teens. Okay, that's what I was going to say. You looked in a world of like toxic magazine. Yeah. I lived the tabloid world, but not Instagram. I would live the tabloid world any day. I was going to ask you that. Yeah. Because in no way. Well, I guess there's good things and bad things. Yeah. I guess with Instagram, you can kind of control the narrative. So had I had

Instagram and I was on the cover of us weekly saying I needed to go to rehab. I probably could have gone on Instagram and said, this is bullshit. But I just think it's so different because the tabloid world, you can't really control it. It's out of your hands. Yeah, you can get mad about it. But the end of the day, they're going to write and say whatever they want. Yes. Where Instagram, it's like an addiction. You know, the tabloids are at the grocery store or whatever. They're not in your day-to-day world necessarily where Instagram is constant. Yeah. I mean, even when it was down the other day, I'm actually really proud to say I didn't know it was down until Justin texted me only because I was at the office, but normally, but everyone was like, oh my God, I realized how much I check it. And when I'm home and just sitting around, I do check it a lot too. But it's an addiction. And we're constantly comparing our worst to everybody else's best. And for a kid, especially, that is such a dangerous place to be. Okay. So excited to talk about today's sponsor, talking about Crocs. You guys, you've already know I love Crocs, but do you know what's giving me all the warm and fuzzy?

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What age were you when you started getting into, like, television and how did you get into it? So I was a junior in high school, just literally going to school in Laguna Beach. And MTV came and did an open casting call. The only thing was that you had to be 16. So filled out this 20-page packet and the questions were like, list all your best friends and, you know, what you hate the most about them. Like, stuff like that, just to get you all amped up and, like, get the juices flowing. And even at a young age, I was like, okay, I know what to do. do here. So I was, like, beefing mine up. So one of the questions was, who do you think is going to be

prom queen? And I said, I don't know and I don't care as long as it's not Lauren Conrad. So, like, I knew what I was doing. And then from there, we did a pilot, which was such a PG version of what actually was on TV. Oh, really? Yes. Although I say that. And now, if you were to go back and watch the beach, you would be like, this is so boring and so lame compared to what's on TV now. Yeah. But at the time, you know, it was a little controversial. And so we started shooting. And it aired my fall of my senior year in September, so 2004, and literally it was like overnight, my whole life changed. It was really wild. It's still crazy to think about. I mean, I was a kid. So everyone except for Talon and I graduated high school and went on to college. And then Talon and I were still

in high school when it was airing. And I just remember like my marine biology teacher treating me differently and like the freshman looking at me differently. And I was like, well, this is really bizarre. Yeah. So. Oh, so you were still doing that while this was airing. Oh, yeah. I didn't think about that. Yes, I was in high school. How did that shape you? Because that, for some, like, 16 is a fragile age. And for some that could really take you down a dark path.

And for some, it could inspire you and you could, you know, do what you've done, create businesses out of it. How did it shape you going through that at such a young age? It was really hard at first because I felt like they didn't portray me accurately at all. I really was the bitch of the show. And again, if you were to go and watch it now, you'd be like, oh my God, I know, Kristen was great. Right. She was being herself. Yeah. Yeah. She was reserved. She has boundaries. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my gosh. I'm inspired now. Yeah. But at the time, I got a lot of hate for it. What was interesting because it was like, you know, this is when chat rooms online were a thing. I just remember going on and reading some of the comments that people were saying and people were hating on me. But then the flip side of it was like us weekly is naming me like breakout star and I'm nominated at the Big and 05 awards on VH1 for like, how big, what was I nominated? What was I nominated? for, I can't even remember, but I was up against, like, Lindsay Lohan and, like, all these people.

So it was like, I'm getting all these accolades from, like, the entertainment business, but then, like, people watching the show are ripping me apart. So it was a very weird time. Yeah. But also, because my real boyfriend was on the show, that made it challenging because the love triangle between Stephen Lauren and I, and they would have Stephen go and hang out with Lauren, and I'd be like, you know exactly what they're trying to do, but he'd go into it anyways. And then on the show, it made it seem like he's playing both of us. So, like, as a kid, that's hard to deal with. I can't even imagine as an adult. Right. Even, yeah, even as an adult, it would be tough. But so, so that was challenging. I was really upset. But then I decided to lean into it and make the

most of it. And honestly, that's been the best decision I've ever done. And in a lot of ways, when you are, you know, becoming who you're supposed to become and figuring out who you are in those years, I just remember being like, okay, I don't think I'm this girl on the show, but I know that I definitely don't want to be. So it really made me look inward and probably grow the fuck up, to be honest. Maybe I was a snotty little brat. Part of me probably was. And I probably did need to grow up a little bit. So in a lot of ways, I'm really thankful for it because it forced me to just look at myself in the mirror. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy that you could do that at that age. You are probably proud of yourself now looking back on that because I don't know. I always tell Cleo like, I would have like messed up my life. If I, I went through so many changes through like 16 to 27. well me too yeah but it was i mean yeah of course and you had to you know have a spotlight on you through that time yeah that was hard too so i did i did look at a beach my junior and senior years of high school

and then i graduated i moved up to l-a and i was acting i did movies but then i had paparazzi on me all the time and so even you know it was 18 19 i'm going out i'm having a good time but then every time i come out of a club i have paparazzi and there's like christin's going out all the time like all those stupid rumors you know or not rumors i would really was like it was all true True. No, but so that that offered up its own set of challenges. And then I went back to, I joined the Hills when I was 21, I believe. So I took a few years off of reality TV. And that was really when I made the decision like, okay, I've been acting for a few years. If I decide to go back to the hills, it's completely changing the course of my career. And that's really when I decided, then I'm going to really lean into this whole reality world and try to make the most of it. I ended up getting a shoe line with Chinese laundry. And then. And, you know, just morphed into a lot of other stuff. I started doing hosting. And quite honestly, the best decision, one of the better decisions I've ever made in my life.

Yeah. It's all about, like, obviously, you're supposed to be on a certain path. And that can, you know, lead you down different roads. But the one you chose to go on has led you to, you know, have the life that you do now. Yeah, exactly. And, I mean, 16 to the age you are now, what is the darkest time you remember and the brightest time you remember? Oh, my God. 18 months ago, Jay and I.

filed for divorce and I have to say it's been such a roller coaster but it's been the brightest and the saddest the whole experience there's been it's the best again probably the best decision I've ever made right but it's had really sad moments and there's been times over the last 18 months where I'm like is this the right decision Jay and I actually went on a couple dates like like months and months and months ago but we did but then I was like no this is one it just it wasn't there anymore it's not there for me anymore yeah but because of that the thing with jay and i is we aren't getting a divorce because of love lost right which made it really challenging because we were crazy about each other yeah and so i just decided i didn't want to

be in a toxic relationship anymore and i had to break it off but that's made it hard it made me sit here and question it for a few months but then going back and dating him a little bit made me reaffirm with like, no, I know that I'm doing the right decision. Thank God for hindsight, you know, the benefit of hindsight and like being able to, you know, do what you've done. And so a lot of people will, you know, stick it out or be afraid of a breakup and with kids, but essentially you have to make that decision. It's also going to benefit your kids.

That's, see, that's what I come from divorce parents. Me too. And I was like, I don't, I don't want my kids growing up thinking that this is a good relationship because I got to see my mom remarried. be in a good relationship so that I knew what one was. I mean, I wanted my kids to see me happy. I just did. And so, and they're better off.

And they've adjusted really well. Not that there's ever a perfect age for it. No. But they were at good ages. Yeah. And so I'm glad that it happened when it did. Now, you two are friendly now, friends. It's a roller coaster.

Yeah, I guess you said that. Because I want, I think there's so many people out there that are listening that, you know, either are divorced or going through a divorce or thinking about a divorce or sticking it out because of kids you know there's so many people that will resonate with how you feel yeah the co-parenting thing is hard i can't imagine it's very real i can't even imagine co-parenting with dogs like i know well right because and this is what i've said in my friends i'm like if i didn't have kids with jay i would never talk to him ever again yet and but now i have to talk to him a lot yes a lot a lot a lot. So how do you, because I would have to bite my tongue a lot, I would have to, because you're so

used to being in a relationship with somebody where you can banter and get in arguments and make up and whatever. But at this point, you're like, no, this is why we have separated. Yeah. So Justin always says this about you that you're one of the strongest people he's ever met. And it's probably helping you, like you said, how many months ago that it's? Well, we filed 18 months ago. Okay. Well, yeah, around 18 months ago. And that you've gotten like it's night and day from where you started to where you are now, then that does, you know, give you hope that it can be even better in the future and that you won't get back into those same patterns that you both are so used to. And that's how it's going to become easier. But that's why like going on these couple dates with him, I was like, this is a test. This is a test. And no, I'm not going to do it. I'm breaking this cycle. I'm breaking this cycle. I'm breaking this cycle. Man, what is this cycle? I'm not going to do it. I'm breaking this cycle, man. What is this? Okay, have you read the book? It ends with us. No. Do you like reading?

I do. Okay. I'm giving you this book. Okay. It's about breaking a cycle. Okay. I just read the psychopath test. Have you read that?

No. Is it amazing? Mm-hmm. If you've dated a psychopath... I have. Chances are you have. Yeah. By the way, there's a lot of psychopaths running around this world.

Also, who hasn't dated a psychopath? Like, who can look at their track record and be like, you know what? I dated really great guys. Yeah. Yeah. I've dated some really great guys and I've dated some really terrible. Same with me. guys same that's all part of it it is all part of it and narcissists are really good salesmen so at the

beginning you're like they put on a show man they can sell you on anything and make you believe and it can last for like a long time you like how did you do that oh my god yeah yeah so sometimes you just have to like close that chapter sometimes you reread the pages and you're like what did i miss and you're like oh yeah i already read that because i think when we go through a breakup which like all of a sudden our minds turn on us and we only remember the good times yeah or like we you look at photos and we're like oh wow maybe the highlight reel from instagram highlight reel and then reality sets in you're like oh no no no there's a reason why i left sometimes all you need is to remove yourself from the situation for enough time to process it because if he's right there the whole time

or you're constantly you know you have to remove yourself as much as you you know are you still attached from kids yeah but you're going to do that for the kids you know you can remove yourself and have enough time to then go back on like a date or whatever you're going to do and be like oh wait yeah I kind of need to like, you know. It's so true. And I needed to go back and go on those dates to be like, oh, no, no, no. I'm 100% sure. Yes.

And that's a good feeling at the end of the day. It is. So I like that answer, though, that your highest and darkest moment is all within that divorce because that's relatable shit. You know, like, I mean, that's the true. Yeah. Yeah. It's such a hard.

I mean, I love that you, you know, you're going to put the kids first, obviously, as you always have. And there's so many of my listeners. actually who wanted to know about co-parenting. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, I guess there's just so many people that, you know, that are doing it. It's hard.

But a lot of people wanted to know, because you have a week on with them, right? So what does your week on with kids look like compared to your week on? My God, they're so different. It's so funny, too, because when I get my kids back, I'm like, whoa, okay. It's like, these little tornadoes like come in and I'm like, damn, my house is totally different. And then they leave. I'm like, wow, it's so quiet. Yeah.

So, I mean, that's just it. So we switch every Friday and my kids, you know, whoever has them in the morning will drop them off at school and then they take the bus home that afternoon to the other person's house. So I pick them up from the bus stop and then, you know, the weekends we're bopping around, seeing friends, going to movies, going to dinner, doing whatever. And then they're in school. All three of my kids are in school now. Yeah. So I drop them off at 815 and then they usually get home at like 4.30. Like I have my whole day.

And then we have dinner together every night. Yeah. You know, like sailors doing gymnastics. Jackson's doing a little ninja warrior class. It's so cute. He like climbs ropes and does all kinds of fun stuff. And then Cam, my oldest, is going to start basketball pretty soon. So, you know, we're staying busy.

And then the weeks I don't have my kids, that's when I try to travel. Like, I just was in Cabo for our Uncommon James Spring campaign. So I'll do all that stuff when I don't have my kids. Yeah. I'll go to see friends. I'll, you know, do all the stuff I want to do. Stay at the office later. Yeah.

But when I have my kids, I'm mom. Like, that's it. I've gotten a babysitter twice in 18 months. Holy. Once was for a baby shower and then once when my mom was in town, we were with the kids all day. And then we went to dinner actually with Justin and Scoot. So I really try to do that. When I'm with my kids, I'm with my kids because I have them half the time.

I can go to dinner next week. Well, that's the nice part. A lot of moms on my Facebook group were like, I know it sounds bad to be excited about that, but that must be a dream to like, you know, you get to live. Of course, it's going to be hard that you don't have your kids for a week. But to be able to, you know, recharge the way you need to be a good mom. I think is important. It is.

Yeah. When I get my kids back, I'm ready to go. Yeah. All kinds of energy. But, exactly. And then also, too, you know, it's like, if they're throwing a temper tantrum, if Sailor's not listening to me, which seems to be her M.O. right now. Like, you're five?

It's too early to be doing that. Yeah. I'm like, okay, I'm losing them in two days. Like, just get it together. Remain calm. Or if someone's in bed with me or if I don't sleep, I'm like, whatever, I'll sleep next week. Like, you know? And so, in a way, it is nice.

It's a big recharge. It is. It is. And I can do, you know, take care of me those weeks that I don't have my kids so that I'm the best mom I can be when I do. I love that. And a lot of people want to know how you do because you seem like, and I know we all have something, but you are like a put together confident person who does prioritize family and then you do prioritize yourself. Yeah. I know you have, you know, the ability to do that because you have a week to yourself. But a lot of people wanted to know, like what your idea of balance is. yeah i mean you know the having my kids half of the time is like forced this perfect balance on me i would say but even before that i'm the kind of person my whole life i've always needed a loan time and that's really how i charge recharge my batteries so what i would do is like i remember when i was filming very cavalry i had on common james i was working on a cookbook i had obviously my three kids yeah it was a lot

that's when i got burnt out but i was waking up at five in the morning to work out so that i had some quiet time and that to me was like exactly what I needed I needed that hour hour and a half in the morning you know before shower and all that before the kids get up where I could just be me and be by myself so that was crucial but yeah now I think I think the older I get it's more about learning how to say no to things too yes like I'm not someone who can go to dinner every night I'm a home body actually I like being home and so if that means that I'm just saying no to friends I think that's okay. I think it's just learning what. And the people that you, you know, I think you've gotten to a place in your life where you will keep your circle small because you have

the boundaries and you know. Yeah, I don't have time for more friends right now. And I know that's horrible. It's not horrible. It's not horrible at all. It's literally incredible. It's real. It's a real thing. And it's important because so many people are yes people and so many people will like do other things to please other people but I think it's so important to know when to say no and I think the friends that you have in your life need to be the kind of friends that will understand a no and like or like okay like what Justin will do is he'll come and drop off the kids at school with me so he can see us yeah you know it's like your friends should should want to be if they really do love you want to be a part of your life they'll figure it out it's not like you have to go out

you know you you make it work yeah you make it work yeah I just have this conversation with someone else because I have a lot of different worlds I'd say you know it's like school like my mom friends it's like uncommon james you know the entertainment world like just all these different worlds and i was just having this conversation because i was like how do i like tell some of these mom friends from school like i love you i just don't have time i don't have time yeah well you i mean it's not i don't i don't think selfish has to be a bad thing i think prioritizing yourself is like the best thing you can do for your life because again it makes you show up better as a partner as a friend as a mom as a business owner like you

You really, if you say no to the right things, and then you, you know, if you feel like going out for dinner one night, you do that or you have wine or you don't. Like whatever you're doing, you have to prioritize your mental health, your physical well-being. And if that means like, a lot of moms think like, I don't know how to work out or something. But even if you just use it as that me time to like go for a walk or like start the day off with like setting yourself up for success mentally. Exactly. Yeah. It changes everything. That's huge because I find too, like if I don't work out in the morning, then.

I won't later, first of all, but then I'm not going to eat as good as I probably would. Like, it's a domino effect. So I think you're right, starting the day off. What I've started doing with my kids too is gratitude, even just on the way to school. One thing we're grateful for. I try to do it at dinner too, but things get a little hectic sometimes it's more good. And like, you know, homework and the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot.

But it's like just setting that intention for the day, just, I think just flipping the switch in our heads of just always being grateful for something. But it really does make all the difference. It does. I have this little five-minute journal. I have that. Yeah. I was just going to bring that up. It's the best.

And there's a cute little quote at the top of it, which is just a nice little daily reminder for the day. And so, yeah, I think stuff like that, mental health is such a huge part of the whole health thing in general, too. I think they all fuel each other, emotionally, healthy, mentally, physically. Especially with the, you know, COVID world and school and people having different beliefs and rules and this and that and everyone's in your head about everything. It's important for the kids to have.

gratitude and know the importance of like, you know, family time or like getting a good meal or having fun or like certain, like it's little things like that that you should be grateful for. So I love that you do that. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. The five-minute journal. I'm the best. So into it. I actually need to get back. I did it for like six months straight. Yeah. And I really felt a difference. I agree. I go through phases too. Yeah. I get my kids doing it. Jackson especially. Yeah. A little, my middle baby. And then I've ripped out pages for him to take to Jay's house with him too. How old are your kids again? So 9, 7, and then Sailor, my daughter is almost 6.

Oh, wow. So we're like, we made it, man. My sailor's in kindergarten when she started in August. I was like, damn, I did it. I made it. Yeah, you should have. We're here. All my kids are in school.

Like, it's a game changer when all of your kids are in school. Well, all my friends have, every single one of my friends except for Clue, actually. I have kids. Like, our group of girlfriends, like, they all have kids. Oh, really? And all of them have two. My sister has two. Like, every one of our friends have two kids.

and so I feel like Cleo and I were like we are kind of prepared like everyone you'll be good to go then everyone talks about like in our friend group was very honest that's good that's how a friend should be yes like we talk about the dark dark times or the challenges or the things that like probably sound inappropriate if you said it out loud but you know the friends can handle that's so important to have those friends I'm like man so it's going to be like oh it's hard no it's really hard yeah it's the most rewarding job on the planet but it's also the hardest without a doubt Oh my gosh. I mean, yeah. I was just talking to my mom the other day. I was like, Sailor won't listen to me. I was like, and we do a one, two, three, you know, a count to three. And if you're still doing whatever, taking away birthday parties. I've taken away toys. I've taken it. It's like, I don't know what else to do with this girl. My mom's like, it's just the phase. Yeah. And she's like, you guys were like that. And she, you know, she was like, I remember thinking, I hate to wish away days, but these days are so hard. And by the way, it's, and I'm always telling my kids. I'm like, you guys, it's three against one.

there's three of you and there's one of me. I'm like, so listen, man. I need to put your dishes in the sink, okay? Help me out. I'm like, because I can't do it all. Yeah, my God. Yeah, it's hard. And I don't have any help anymore either because I, same thing.

My kids are in school. I used to have a nanny come Tuesdays and Thursdays from two to five last year because Saylor got out of school at 2.30. But now it's like, I can do that. I was like, God, I don't need a nanny. I've never had a nanny on the weekends, even when Jay was playing football. Really? Yeah, never, never.

I mean, that's, that's pretty incredible because I don't know how, like, I truly have two dogs and I'm like a mess of a human trying to like take care of two dogs while doing everything else I have going on. And you have a lot going on. I'm so used to just going, going, going, that I thrive on that. It's when I sit down. Like, if I actually, it's like at night. After we do bath and everything, I'll let the kids watch TV. We'll usually all sit down and watch like a show or a movie. But still, it's like, can I have this snack? So I'm like, it's very rare that I'm actually sitting down.

But when I do, then I get tired. Then I'm like, damn, I'm exhausted. Yeah. But so I just have to keep going and going. That's how I get my energy. It's like energy begets energy for me. I'm kind of like that. too. If I sit down and like slow down and stop, I'm like, uh-oh. Yeah. I'm stuck. Yeah, I can't

keep going. I have to keep going. And we live in a world where it's like, women are having their moments. Like, you know, we can have babies, run businesses, be independent, not rely on anyone else. So it must be like exhausting, but empowering at the same time. It is. It is. And then especially too, you know, I still, I always go back to the fact that I can sit here and say, okay, one, a couple days. I can sit on that couch and I cannot get up and it's okay. Are you able to like completely shut down and relax or does your brain? Yeah.

No, I was just who I am. Even before kids, I always had to be busy. I always had to be doing something. Yeah. So, but I mean, I definitely take a step back. Yeah. But no, I have to be busy. I have to have something going on. Otherwise, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not the kind of person that can just watch TV all day.

Ooh, I can. You can. I'm jealous of you. I can, but I'm jealous of you like, I'm like, my, Cleo probably wishes my brain work like, because I'm like, I'm watching Grey's Anatomy. I'll like, I'll get to it when I get to it, all right? I'll see you in three to five business days. I'll like, I'll try to watch a show and then I'm like, fuck I just did 10 emails. I have no idea what happened. Like, I can't just like, I'm just constant. That's okay though, because that's probably why you have so much success. Like, what are you, are you allowed to talk about what you're filming right now? So I can say a little bit. Um, Justin and I filmed a pilot for,

for a show. It's not necessarily about my personal life. It would be a dream job, so I'm hoping that it gets picked up. We'll see. We just want to tease everybody a little bit. Yeah, as you should. I mean, you get it. Do you own a rent your own home? I know you do, and I know it can be hard work, but you know it's easy. Bundling policies with GEICO. Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renter's insurance along with your auto policy, which is a good thing because you have so much to do around your home. So go to GEICO.com, get a quote, see how much you could see how much you could save. It's Geicoeasy. Visit guyco.com today. That's guyco.com. Has someone sent you a sugar wish yet? Okay, if they have, you'll understand why I'm a huge fan and why it's the perfect gift

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of year with TalkSpace online therapy. Now, I've seen so many of my vinos be open about mental health, especially as I opened up myself about my experience with therapy. And it makes me really just happy to see you guys sharing and being open about how you're feeling. And I know you guys will love Talkspace where you can just get help from a professional no matter what you're going through, where you are. Talkspace makes it so easy and convenient to get that help you need. Talkspace actually is the number one online therapy platform and has thousands of licensed therapists available to you with specialties including anxiety, depression, relationships, and so much more.

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So because I had a shoe line, actually my girlfriend at the time, well, she's still my girlfriend, but at the time, she was asking me to do a jewelry line with her. And I kept saying no, I kept saying no. And then finally I was like, screw it, why not? You know? So we launched a line called Emerald Dub. And she lives in California. She's out in Malibu. She was designing, running the operations.

I was essentially just the marketing. And I just kept thinking, if I were in charge of the operations and if I could design, I was like, there's just, it could be so much better than it is. And we ended up actually, our friendship blew up in our faces. We have since become really good friends again, which makes me so happy. We just needed a minute. But so I decided when that blew up in my face, she bought me out of Emerald Dove. And I started Uncommon James.

And at the time, it was, I had this like fire in me to like prove everybody wrong. Like, I know what I'm doing. And so I launched Uncommon James. And then I decided to go back to reality TV for exposure for Uncommon James. That was the only reason why I wanted to go back to reality TV. I'm so happy now that I did because it left such a positive taste. in my mouth where couldn't necessarily say that with the other two shows.

Yeah, of course. I was an executive producer this time around. I was going to say you probably had the more creative control and able to like make your own. Yeah, I was able to be more authentic. Stand up for myself a little bit more and be like, I would never fucking do that. Or before I was like, oh, yeah, cool.

And I still did a little bit of that, you know, but it was just so different. You got to play the game a little bit too. Yeah. But like as an adult, I think it was just completely different. Yeah. And so it was a really great experience. I'm really happy I went back and doing very Cavalry

really just launched Uncommon James. We were on a rocket ship of growth. And so that was incredible. And I've had the company now just for four and a half years. Oh, has it only been four and a half years? Yeah, it's four and a half years. We have three stores. Nashville is our flagship.

Chicago, Dallas. We're going to open Charleston and hopefully Austin next year. That's awesome. Yeah. And so we're, I'm just, I'm so thankful. Yeah. People love it. Thanks.

It's cool stuff too. Thanks. Yeah. I mean, I love it. I've had so much fun. Yeah. It gave me, I'd say, honestly Uncommon James is what finally gave me the confidence to like leave you know like just

having my own like my real own thing yeah this is mine yes and I was like I'm gonna anybody that is I think it's important for all my listeners to hear that too because I think a lot of people grew up in a generation where their parents did rely on you know the dad or you know the mom stayed at home Yeah, that really was our generation of parents that they, you know, and that's how they grew up. And we're in this shift right now in the world where everyone's realizing, like, no, I'm actually okay on my own, especially if you're doing what you want to do. Yeah. I preach that all the time to people, like my sister, for example, like she gets stuck in phases. And right now she's doing a job that she's like, oh, I should be making more money, but she's so happy doing it.

Oh, but that's okay. And I'm like, that's okay. Yeah. That's because there's something that shifts in your whole being when you're happy doing what you love. I agree. And other success comes. Success doesn't have to just mean money. Exactly.

Yeah. So she. Success, honestly, is your happiness. I always ask people. I always ask people. That's, I was going to ask you what your definition of success is because I always ask people that because it is like, of course, you know, having a successful business is important. And of course, that success. And of course you want to, like, be thriving in everything that you're doing.

But deep down in, like, your core, when you think about it, what is success? Exactly. Yeah. That's happiness. Yeah. Well, it's like what people say, like, what do you hope for your kids? The only thing I care about for my kids is if they're happy. I don't care if they're homeless.

If they're happy and they're homeless, yeah. Have it matter, man. Sure. Get a f*** and pitch that thing up. Like, as long as they're happy, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Also, I think there's. this misconception that money, money equals happiness.

Yes. All it does, honestly, is create bigger, different problems. Yeah. And, yeah, it just complicates everything. It really does. I was talking about when literally I had like $500 in my bank account and I was like jumping on my bed in my little studio apartment. I was like, I'm going to buy a jacket.

I was like, I'm making hair. And I was like, and I really still sometimes treat. my bank account or whatever that way. Like, I'm still like, Katelyn, you don't need to get that Starbucks every day. That's smart. No, that's smart. I still have that mentality, which I really respect

because I'm like, what if it's all gone? But see, I think that's a good place to be. Yeah. Because it could be all gone. It really could. The way that a lot of people live. I mean, when Instagram shut down, everyone's like,

there goes my career. Yeah. Seriously. No, I know, but it's true. I think I'm good with my money too, actually. And I credit my mom because my mom never gave me anything growing up. Like, she wouldn't even buy me a $40 pair of jeans, drove me bananas.

And my dad would throw money at me. And so I had, like, had this, like, weird, these two different worlds. Yeah. And so when I moved in with my dad when I was a freshman in high school, I went and got a job because I wanted to. And he was like, you know, you don't need to get a job. I was like, yeah, I know, but I don't want your money. Yeah.

I want my money. Yeah. I hate, like, just taking money. That's my dad was the same way. He was like, I'll get your rent. And I was like, okay. And then at a certain point, I was like, no, don't. Like, cut me off.

because I need to learn. Yeah. That's either in you or it's not. I agree. You have to have that fire in you to want to succeed for yourself to be able to do it, which some people have and some people just don't. Right. And sometimes that makes people happy too.

Right. You do you, man. I don't care what anyone else is doing. I think that's part, like this whole world that we're living in is like everyone's become so judgmental. And it's like, if my life doesn't affect you, why do you care? Yeah. Like you do you.

I'll do me. That's all good. I know. Couldn't, if everybody could just think that way, that'd be great. I'm like, mind your own damn business. Yeah, no. And I'm just a few questions from some vinos. That's what we call. Not cute. They're really cute questions. Because everyone's like, oh, my, they were so excited you were coming on.

And a lot of people were like, I just want to know simple things. Like this, Ella Steff says, what's her favorite memory of high school? Oh, that's cute. Oh, God, high school. I loved high school. You did? I did for the social scene. honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went for like, to show my outfits to flirt, like, see my girlfriend. Um, I had so many. I mean, obviously, like, what stands out the most is the fact that I was filming a reality show for, you know, junior and senior year. But, um, like, all of the

dances, I went to, I started going to prom and I was a freshman in high school because I dated a junior. Yeah. And then I met Stephen when I was a sophomore and he was a junior. And then, so I was like always at prom. So those always stick out in my mind. oh actually okay this is a good one so my dad's house in laguna you could open up my window and just hop right out yeah so i used to sneak out all the time yeah but then one time i got taken home by the cops and i had a knock on the door and my dad was like i didn't even know you were gone you're like hey dad hey by the way i got in a lot of trouble yeah when i was in high school but i don't regret a thing yeah it it's so much fun i i was the same way i was like a good kid but a rebellious kid

Oh, yeah. See, I wasn't good at all. I mean, I was like, nice. Yeah. I had a good heart. That's what I mean. Okay, okay, okay. I had a good heart. My intentions were like in the right place.

Yeah, I wasn't trying to hurt anybody. But I was like a selfish weirdo who just like would go out and do ridiculous shit and cops would call my parents. Okay, yeah, yeah, same, same. Yeah, yeah. That's funny. Okay. So Kenzie 8 says, what is something you would tell your Laguna Beach self? I would tell myself at that age to just enjoy being 16, 17, 18.

My whole life, I always wanted to be older. And now looking back, I'm like, those were some of the best days of my life. Like, why don't I just enjoy it more? Just be present. Yeah. Now I want time to slow down because I feel like the older you get it goes so much faster. It's crazy. I hit 30 and from 30 on I was like, blur.

What is happening? It's crazy. Wait until you have kids. Oh, I can't even imagine because time goes by. so fast i feel like with kids or like i just am obsessed with my dog so i like refer back to that but like because you don't want like you want to cherish every moment the face that they're in and then all a sudden it's gone i know and so everything seems like it's going by way faster i so fast yeah i can't imagine but i mean i will have kids one day i also froze my egg so i'm like there you're good

um k ostrosky asks where did things stand with lc that's so funny i'll be 80 and people I would be like, when did you talk to Lauren Conna? This is my confession. I never watched Laguna Beach or the Hills. I love it. I never watched it. And like, when people say that to me about Bachelor, I'm like, great. Like, it doesn't matter.

I know. It doesn't change my, you know, interaction or opinion of you. But everyone was wanting to know this question. Lauren is so funny. And I figured that that's. So, God, I couldn't even tell you the last time I saw her. I mean, she lives in L.A. Or actually, I think she lives in Laguna.

Oh, that's not true. We did, like, a little Zoom reunion about a year ago. Okay. So I saw her on that, you know, but I haven't seen her in person in years. Couldn't even tell you the last time. Our worlds are so different. If I saw her, give her a big hug. We'd obviously catch up.

There's no ill will whatsoever. But yeah, we've never run in the same circles. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I mean, it's funny how many people ask that question. I talk to Stephen all the time. You do? Yes.

I literally talked to him like last week. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I talked to him a lot, a lot. I talked to Brody a lot. Adrina and Heidi. Adrina and I were just saying we want to go to Cabo together. So, I mean, I still talk. Jason Waller is coming

to Nashville. If you haven't seen it, you don't know who these people are. I know who Adrina is because people used to tell me I look like her all the time. You do actually. You do. I used to get it like when I was 25. Yeah, when I was 25, everyone, I would be like, I know what you're going to say. You guys do look alike.

You're both beautiful. Seriously. But yeah, so I still do talk to a lot of people. That's nice. I freaking love. Spencer and Heidi are such a vibe. Like, they're just, and angel humans, too. They, they, see, that's what people don't realize, I think. Such big hearts, really good people. Yeah.

Good parents and, like, I've been over catching hummingbirds with Spencer and, like, we've, like, gone out, and they're so nice. They're the best. I really love them a lot. Yeah, they're good ones to have in your corner. I can see her if they're not on your corner, maybe that's not ideal. Of course. Because they're ruthless, but, like, I like that about that.

I do too. They are strong personalities, and I love them, love them. I do too. Okay, someone else, oh, Chelsea Burke wants to know if you're going to have another cookbook ever. I am. I'm actually working on it right now. It's quick and easy meals. Not as many food restrictions.

So my other cookbooks are gluten-free, limited dairy. This one's balls of the walls. We're getting wild. Kay Short 17 asks her dating status. Someone was talking about, you spoke out about your dating status in a new article or something, or you change your Facebook status or something. Oh, no, no, God. I'm not even on.

I've never even been on Facebook. Oh, like, not even once. No, I did a Q&A on Instagram. Okay. Get that engagement up for like the first time ever. I'm like, sure, I'll bite. Oh, yeah, right, here we go. Here we go.

I'll take the baby. But I did say I was single. I am 100% single right now. And what I said was, in a general sense in the last 18 months, I've dated. Yeah. I've been on a few dates. I've kissed a couple people. Yeah.

Yeah. But right now in this current moment, I am not, I'm not even talking to anybody. I mean, I'm like, yeah, no. I'm sorry. No, no, no, I'm talking. I'm talking to some people, but no one I'm interested in. Yeah. I'm just filling the time.

Why not? I'm bored, you know. I see a little flirt. It's so fun to just flirt and not have to like put in any energy. Is this flirt over text? Great. Like I'm not seeing anyone if you want to put it that way. That's, I mean, I think it's funny too because if it's like a name that people recognize,

like the whole people were saying you were with Chase Rice. And it's like, you're just saying it because you know that person. Right. Exactly. And so you put too, like, you know. Here's the weird thing too. It's like if I hang out with someone once or twice, let's say, that all of a sense like, oh, Christian's new boyfriend.

It's like, oh, hang on. I literally want on a date with someone. Right. Now, a sudden's my boyfriend. Yeah. And then maybe it just didn't work out. And everyone's like, they broke up. It's like, no, we just didn't fucking vibe.

I know. And that's okay. I mean, it's just like so stupid. That's why I was so curious about your thoughts of tabloids compared to Instagram because of being able to say things. But at the same time, I don't though. But it's like, just think what you're going to think. at the end of the day. It's like, I'm not going to go on

every time I'm linked to a guy and be like, this one's not true, guys. Right. I don't fucking care. You're like, this will pass in the week. Yeah. It's always the same headlines, different faces. Literally, though.

I know. I've been linked to so many guys in the last 18 months. Really? Yeah, and though publicly, a lot of them aren't even sure. Well, I'm trying to think, there's been one guy who hasn't come out publicly.

He's not a famous person. And then I dated a comedian for like five, six months. I've been linked to a lot of guys. And a lot of them aren't, most of them are not true. Yeah, so that's kind of annoying That is annoying I feel like that's I think that's the most annoying part about

like tabloids or rumors or like the search page or whatever because so many people believe what they read Everybody everybody Nobody reads the actual articles Everyone reads the headlines And then makes assumptions And those headlines are always awful

I'm what? I've seen some of like I'm sure you've had worse than me No I'm sure you have too I mean the headlines piss me on My dad, like my precious little dad who's just not used to this world. Like, he's like at one point he went, Keel and I can't go to the grocery store because they seem mean things about you on the magazines.

But that was like when I was The Bachelorette. But like now people are like, no. No. Okay. And then last question, page, crumbweed. I never know. If you had another kid, do you have names, boy or girl names? You don't have to say them.

I think this person just was basically asking if you're going to have. another kid. Or they need baby names. Names. I don't have any names because babies are not on my brain right now. Of course not. I don't even have a boyfriend. I think if I don't want more kids.

My life feels very full with my three. And I, you know, I have two boys, have a girl. I feel like it's perfect. That's what I wanted. It's perfect. However, if I met somebody who didn't have kids, I would be open to it. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, I would. But I'm about to turn 35. And I, I mean, the thought of going back. Back to the baby phase is like, oh, because you've done it through your time. Well, I just got my youngest in kindergarten. Yeah, and you were like clapping about it. Yeah, I did. I did it.

In a year, I'm all I'm pregnant. Yeah, yeah, that's. No, so we'll see. I don't know. I'm 36 and I'm still like, I did. Yeah, I haven't. Well, you don't need to. Well, yeah, exactly.

That's why if I need someone, it's like, well, I guess we'll see if I'm able to do pregnant. Isn't it crazy, though, that you can, like, you don't know what tomorrow brings. Like, you can meet someone two years and you can be, and you just don't know. It's kind of fun in a way. It's so fun. If you think about it in the right way. Exactly. And I feel like I'm at a great place right now because I have three kids. I have a business. I own my house. It's like things are good. I can just meet someone who I enjoy. Who just is going to bring joy to my life. There's no pressure whatsoever on any front. And that's a nice feel. Like I'm very happy alone and very fulfilled and content with where I'm at. So if I meet someone, it's just like a bonus. That's what I want from everybody. who listens or everybody out there who even knows, like, who'd listen to like my Instagram or my podcast or anything. I'm like, be happy alone.

It's the only, only way in life to be happy with somebody else. I agree. It all, happiness is an inside job. You can't look to somebody else to give you happiness. And it's an ongoing lifelong project, but you can be in a phase or place in your life where you're like, I am so solid on my own. So a person would be bonus. That's something I say on the podcast is everyone's always like, I'm looking for that

missing puzzle piece at one last and I'm like no no no you need to be the full puzzle yeah somebody could be the frame exactly I like that's like you know that's that's always my mentality and that changed my life when I you know it's true it changes your whole life okay I have every guest on my podcast confess something embarrassing to me I know you've been prepped with this yeah okay so it's so funny because I don't get embarrassed I don't feel like I lubed you up enough for this I know well I don't get embarrassed sure for my embarrassing story yeah this is the perfect time to fill you up For a confession. Okay, so it takes a lot for me to get embarrassed.

So this is more just kind of like a funny story, and it happened recently. So I was in Cabo last weekend for our Uncommon James Spring campaign, and I was packing up all my shit, brushed my teeth of my electric toothbrush. It was the last thing I threw in my bag, right? So it's like on top of all my stuff. And I carry my bags on. I hardly ever. so as I'm walking into the airport I can feel it going off but I'm like well whatever it's like one to two minutes it'll be off you know they turn off on their own yeah so I go through security fine it's all great I have a layover in Phoenix and you have to go I went through customs and you have to like re go through security and I can feel it at different times going off well as I'm going through security again in Phoenix it's going off I put it on the x-ray belt yeah get it through and the TSA guy was like your bag is vibrating I go I know it's my toothbrush she goes

Yeah. No, I really is. I swear to God. You're like, wait, doesn't everybody at this point have electric toothbrush? Come on, man. Yeah. I bet he just was like, she's cute. I'm a floater.

I was like, I'm like, I swear to God. That happened to, um, do you know Aaronopria? No. Oh, wait, the trainer? Yeah. Yes, I've met her. So she came on my podcast once and she had the same, um, they said on an intercom in Mexico. Oh, no.

um that her bag was vibrating no she was like oh my god but i forget her confession it wasn't really her vibrating no i feel like it was yeah that's why i wasn't embarrassed because i was like it's not calm down everybody you hold it up to everybody told you false alarm that's so funny that's good okay i have one last game for you before i let you go okay basically because everyone was like i love this because you don't really do a lot of interviews i know and so i So they were, they're like, want to know all the basic questions. So I did a game out of it. Okay, cute.

Basically a rapid fire. So how did your first kiss take place? Okay, it was standing. I just was telling my kids about this. So curious right now about first kisses. Yeah. So it was my mom's house in Barrington, Illinois, which is where she still lives. Yeah.

At the top of our driveway, my boyfriend, Jack, in sixth grade, stuck his tongue in my mouth. And it was the most disgusting thing on that. the planet. I was so freaked out by it. Sixth grade. Oh, my gosh. Jack. Violated your mouth. Do we still like Jack? Do we know where he's at? I looked up my boyfriend from the seventh grade the other day and he followed me. I didn't follow him back. But I was like, how did that name just pop in my head? I like made out of them once. And then I just randomly Googled it. I was like Brody Hewitt. Oh, good name. Yeah. But he was private so I couldn't creep on him. Oh, that's too bad. He's following you. Yeah. See, I think if they follow you,

you should be able to see their page. I agree. Right? Yes, I agree. I'm like, that's not fair. Or at least, like, who they follow or like... Yes. Give me a little intel.

I did look at my first, like, real boyfriend. This guy, Johnny, my eighth grade, and then beginning of freshman your boyfriend. I looked him up. He's in Chicago doing real estate. Looks the exact same. No. Isn't that funny? Yeah.

That's... Does he follow you? No. Rudy. Rude. I knew. I didn't like you. Yeah, forget it.

Glad we broke up. What is the first? The first cell phone you had? I had the Nokia that you could change the face plates on it. Same. And did you play snake? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, I loved snake.

Okay, these days they don't get it. No, they're like got the most intricate. I can't. They're like a hologram playing like boxing with somebody in front of them. It's crazy. And then I had a sidekick. Did you ever have a sidekick? Oh, is that with the pen?

Oh, no. No, you missed that? Those were the best. Did they have those in Canada, sidekick? I guess not. Oh, my God. You would like flip up the top of it and it was like buttons like I don't have to show you a photo. I had one of those ones where the pen was in it and you could like write on it.

I never had one of those. That's cool. I would like that now, I think. Yeah, that actually sounds kind of nice now, doesn't it? My handwriting would be so much better on Instagram. What was the first big purchase you made as an adult? Well, I remember like buying my first pairs of lupitons. Yeah.

That was a big deal because I was such a shoe girl. I remember my first little baby Chanel. That was a big deal. How old were you? Lubitons when I was 18. Chanel I was probably 19 but I was I was on TV that's making money first purchase I'm 36 years old and I got that two weeks ago stop my first you've a house though you said yeah my house but that's a big my house is a big purchase but for some reason I can't spend money on a freaking burst that's hilarious

all my friends are like Caitlin like you know Kat Campbell yes I love her she's like my best friend and she was like Caitlin upgrade from the Steve Madden wait that is hilarious I just have never And this is my first pair of expensive shoes Oh my God, I love you. Look at you. Welcome to Adulper. I'm coming up in the big world. Yeah, you are good with your money. Some would say cheap, but thanks for saying that. Oh, my God. Okay, what was the first job you ever had?

Okay, I worked at a Beakrum yoga studio, and my job was taking these sweaty, like dripping sweaty towels and putting them in the washing machine. It was vile. Oh, yeah, that's... I did it actually for free classes. I didn't even get paid. You're like, I'm just so zen. Yeah.

Yeah. I knew my dad would, well, no. Yeah, I don't know what. No, I wanted to get a job. But then my first paying job, I was a hostess at a restaurant, Salt Creek Grill and Dana Point, when I was a sophomore. That was my first job, too, as a hostess. That was fun. I remember getting like a $20 tip.

I was like, oh, hell yeah. Yeah, you can have that table. No problem. Oh, my gosh. Here's a good confession. I was working at a restaurant in Vancouver. I wonder if I've told a story on the podcast before. How do you explain it?

It was like a lounge, but it had like a lounge, but it had like, spray paint on the wall but it was cool and it was like the spot to go in Vancouver and it was right before I went on The Bachelor and all these so it was attached to a hotel and you could do bottle service there and it was only place to Mexico or you could do bottle service so famous people would always come in and we would pride ourselves on like not caring right right right I never wanted to be like like I served Tom Cruise once and I was oh really and I was like um you know like I made sure I was in like yeah yeah I was like Mr. Cruze Like I always wanted to like

I almost played it too cool Yeah I totally get it And so this one time This guy came in And he was like Hey can I grab that table And I was like are you gonna buy a bottle And he was like oh no

And then he's like is Peter Gurgers working I'm like everybody asks for him Like he's not gonna get you the table either If you're not on the list Like I was cut through it was like The end of the night And I was like get this guy out of year And then I like he looked familiar

And so I was like, did I used to serve you like at this restaurant down the street? And he was like, no. And he was like, you could tell he wanted to say like, this is who I am. And I was like, oh, sorry. I'm like, I'm not trying to be rude, but like so many people try and sit at this table, but it's like reserve for if you're going to buy like a bottle. And he was like, well, I could. And then he just finally said it.

He goes, look, this is going to sound terrible. But have you ever seen the movie Inception? And it was one inception was huge. And it was Tom Hardy. No. Yes. I love him. Same.

And I was literally like. I love that he was like so cool about it too I love him even more He was so sweet And I literally was like Take the fucking table Get in there right now Can I join you?

Yeah I was like starting to form Like you can have the table But like yeah it was so crazy And I was like So good looking He's short though He is I yeah

He's very short But so polite So handsome I love that And he was just like It was kind of funny When like if somebody said like Have you seen a affection

I would have been like Ew get out But the way way he treated the whole situation and then he was like this is going to sound terrible but and then and then I felt stupid because then I was like sure take the table like I had to treat him different yeah right right confession I wonder if I like that one on the pop before that's a good one okay a couple more questions first nickname you had and do people still use it for you Kay Cabby has always been and yeah people well not a lot like my high school of friends do

yeah you're still friends with anyone from your high school I am actually yeah only a handful of people But, yeah, Stephen still calls me Kay K. Cabby. Really? Or Cabby. I mean, it's a good nickname. Mine was Caitlin no Brestos, so. Oh, my God. That's cute.

Okay, last one. When was the first and the last time you drank too much? Oh, okay. The first I drank too much? God, okay. Eighth grade, I drank the, like, the Jack Daniels, like, fruit punch, like, pre-made, like, disgusting. So I snuck out of my house.

Snuck out of my house, my boyfriend, Johnny, who I looked up, lived close to me. So we could take the golf car back. Johnny, who we're still mad at it, yeah. Yeah, Johnny, who we hate now. And what I would do when I would sneak out was I would lock my bedroom door, like, from the inside, and then I could lock it. But Johnny was so drunk, Johnny couldn't figure out how to put me back in my room. So he left me in the bathroom, and I puked everywhere. So I obviously had to tell my mom what happened.

That's so terrible. Oh, and I just like that hangover from your first. time being drunk. Especially all those sugary drinks. I still can't drink vodka orange juice because of it. Or like raspberry smearing off in high school. Or vanilla. I mixed vanilla vodka with vanilla coke one.

Oh, God. I can't even smell it. No, no, no. Oh, my God. Yeah, no. Malibu rum, too. Like, all of us. Oh, yeah, Malibu.

Okay. And then the most recent too drunk, I'm trying to think, okay, Labor Day. Okay. I had a party with, you know, lots of kids, but I didn't think the adult. I thought you were going to be a long. Lots of friends. Lots of kids. Lots of kids are like 20 kids. There are bounce houses, like all kinds of shit. The parents have more fun. Oh yeah. I get lit on a bouncy house. Yeah. That sounds great. Yeah. So that was that.

That's so funny. I love that. Okay. And then my last question is just, it's from at Caitlin Bristow. It's from me. She sounds cool. She says okay. I want to know how you set boundaries in your life from toxic people. God. It's something that I've honestly learned in the last like 18 months. how to be really good at it's just because I think now I'm really good at spotting toxic people too or realizing when people are toxic and so and I think that's step one obviously the most toxic people are sales people it's so hard they are although tell you what like I can spot a fucking narcissist a mile away now two seconds after talking to them all nope bye yeah you're like to tuitals yeah

see yeah but it's just that it's just setting boundaries and I'm not one to be like wishy-washy if someone's like do you want to get lunch I'm like oh I can't that but maybe in a way like if I don't want to it's like hey girl I have a lot going on right now like let's circle back in five years you know it's like I'm not I'm just more like up front and honest I've just always sort of been like that and the right people will respect that yeah and like we were saying earlier like my circle is small I don't trust a lot of people either it takes a long time for you to like get in but once you're in I'm loyal as can be but I just also don't have the time to have like all these like fake friends in the wings like I'd rather

have five really solid friendships than like 10 random ass people that I'm like I am the same way because I think I used to trust everybody and then I've obviously learned but like my favorite saying is like you're the sum of the five people you

surround yourself with so I'm always paying attention now to who my core people are because you want people to inspire you understand you empower you like not get mad if you're going to do like no drama no judging no I know it's It's so important, and so I'm like, now I always think about that with like, even though my wedding party is going to be like 10 people. But like those 10 people like have been my people for a long, long time, except for Kat. She's the new edition.

I love that. She's great. So it's understandable. She's the best. I just adore them. And you want people in your life that are going to build you up to and root you on. I think that's really important too. There's, I always think this with like, you know, so many people who are into the podcast space and there's so many people I could feel competitive with. Yeah. I get a little competitive with Jason. In my like, you know, like in Bachelor world, I'm like, man, there's enough, you know, space for everybody. It's, we're all so different. Right.

And your podcast isn't going to be the same as my podcast. And, like, it's okay to celebrate other people. And you can still be competitive while celebrating other people. Yeah, because it's a little bit of what I think is good, you know, a little competition. I'm very competitive, but I still, I have to find that healthy. Like, you know. It is a fine line. But I agree.

Yeah, there's enough for everyone, you know. So it's important. Unless those people wrong you, then they can go. get fucked. Amen, sister. I love it. Then it's a different story. Yeah, that's a different story. Tell everyone, like, where, you know, they can, can they shop online, Uncommon James? Yes. Like, everything that you've got went on. Yeah. Yeah, okay, so Uncommon James. Oncommon James on Instagram, we also have Uncommon Beauty, which is our skincare line. And then I'm just at Kristen Cavalry. And can people, like,

go to your Instagram to get, like, the cookbook and, like, all that? You know what? No. You would think I would have all that. Amazon, you know, we're any of our books are sold. I mean, yeah, my books are anywhere. I guess, actually, Kristencavalry.com might be a thing. It's more just a landing page. I think at one point in time it was. It might be now where it can connect you to all the things I have going on.

So cookbooks, that's uncommon James, all that good stuff. Okay, awesome. Oh, thank you. Is there anything we miss that you wanted to talk about? I don't think so. This has been fun. Okay, good. I'm glad. Yeah, I love it.

Thank you. This is my favorite thing is podcasting just because of what we talked about earlier. like who sits and has conversation more wine anymore. No, it's great. Yeah. It's usually at like a night, like the lighting's a little aggressive

because it's for camera. I prefer like a din room. Yeah, like a candle. Yeah. But we'll make this work. Yeah. It really does. Oh my God.

Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. It was so easy. It's so fun. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every

Tuesday exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.