Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Leslie Hipkin (a.k.a. Kaitlyn's Mom!)

Episode Date: August 14, 2017

Kaitlyn's own mother Leslie Hipkin kick's off Kaitlyn's first-ever on-location interview in Canada with plenty of whiskey and funny stories about Kaitlyn's childhood, as well as her experience watching her daughter find love on The Bachelorette. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Now here's Caitlin. Okay, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine where I sit in my pajamas, drink wine, talk about pretty much nothing and everything, all at the same time. Today we're podcasting from Mom and Rob's home in Canada, so forgive us for the sound, if it sounds bad. We're sitting on top of the guest bed. We're having a jammy party.

We're having a jammy party. And I know we're all very excited to get to this guest today. So let's welcome my mom, the legend, Leslie, motherfrickin hipkin. The crowd goes wild. The crowd goes wild. So we're sitting here in our PJs drinking wine. I mean, this just feels like another Tuesday to us. You're drinking wine, Katie.

Yeah, what are you drinking? A little whiskey. A little whiskey. Whiskey never heard anybody. Actually heard a lot of people. but in Nashville it's happy hour that's true in Canada it's a little early but in Nashville it's happy hour so we'll pretend we're there yes I wish we were because I miss Sean I know I do too I feel like this is maybe the longest we've been apart but not for long not for long I miss doodle

actually really miss Tucker well cheers to you being on the podcast cheers thanks for having me oh gosh I mean you know what if it was up to me I would have found another guest but I got to give the people what they want yes thank you fans everywhere yeah mom you got fans people love you no idea well you're pretty funny but i feel like i feel like you're nervous right now well i am a little nervous katie but why well if you put a camera in front of me i wouldn't be so nervous well let's just pretend that this camera on the computer is on okay so be on hey da da da da da da da da da da da da da hi hey how are you doing I feel like you're so nervous You're like sitting properly

And you just I don't want to touch any chords or anything Or make any weird Whatever Where it sounds People like when it's raw It's raw It's super raw

But yeah Don't be nervous Oh raw Oh and I mean Through this whole podcast You're going to realize That my mom has a song For everything

Sometimes I love it But sometimes it's kind of annoying I know And you pass that annoyance on To your niece What she does it too? No. What do you mean I pass it on?

Well. Oh, she gets annoyed with you. Yes. Oh, can you please speak a little louder, I feel like you're trying to be quiet. No, I'm not trying. Okay. But yeah, I just want you to relax and be yourself.

I usually talk about my, oh, there, yeah. All right. Now you look more relaxed. Already then. Just have a few more sips of whiskey. There's nothing to be nervous about. This is literally just what we do on Snapchat every day, all day. I know.

Just no Snapchat. Literally no camera. That's okay. Just make do, okay? I'm happy. I know you. I usually talk about my week, but I feel like I've documented my whole week with you on Snapchat. But it's so fun being home.

Yeah, it's really nice to have you home. Talking to you over FaceTime, that's usually how we communicate. Yeah. But to see you in person is better. But sometimes I think that I do see you in person when actually I'm just watching your Snap. and your Instagram stories like when it was your birthday and then I called about midnight or something like that to say happy birthday and you said well thanks a lot I just you know I didn't get any call from my dad or my sister or my mom yeah because everyone just watches me on Snapchat and things so that

that's how they communicate with me but um hi I don't see you guys on Snapchat all the time I realized that now so yeah I was sorry about that I felt bad about that I didn't sleep that night I I bet you overthink everything mom just let it go let it go yeah you are oh really I haven't noticed I was also going to ask you how many things you're how many times you think you're going to cry on this podcast are you going to make me cry maybe I'm not going to have to call you Oprah no not in a me yeah I'll make you cry in a nice way not in a mean way it's a good thing you can do that um so I thought we could start by talking about our mother-daughter relationship and how people always think that we're drunk but really we're just complete

weirdos who can handle our wine? Yes. I wouldn't call it weirdos. No, we're weird. Really? Do people think we're weird? But that's a great thing. I love being weird. Can we find another word for weird? Wonderful. No. No. Weird is weird and we are weird. Well, we're expressive. Mom, stop making excuses for who you are. You're weird. I have trouble saying I'm weird. No, you're a huge weirdo and that's part of the reason everybody loves you. Is that like the end? Weirdo's funny. It's different. It's quirky. Yeah, yeah, well, I'm quirky. Yeah, Mom.

I like quirky. I bet if you looked up the definition for quirky, it would be weird. Oh, I thought you'd say my name would be there. Well, it would. You're weird and quirky, and that's why. And I feel like I get that from you. Dad is, like, so calm and kind and sweet and quiet and, like, not shy. Reserve.

He's a very gentle man. Yeah, he is. He is a gentleman. See, I feel like I hear the air. Oh, yes. Our air just kicked in. The air conditioning. Well, that's what you.

you get when you podcast from home. And that's the beauty of podcasting. And thank you, Air, because I was having a hot flash. Oh, it's, oh, menopause is a bitch, isn't it? Actually, yes, just you wait. I know. No, I don't know, but I don't want to. Well, I hope you find out, because karma's a bitch. Well, mom, that's why you had a daughter. That's why I had two daughters. That's why you had two daughter. That was karma for me. So, okay, what we're talking? Oh, our relationship. Oh, yeah, we're weird. Okay. All right. Except it. But I do feel like we've had a good relationship all growing up. Like we fought like mothers and daughters do.

Yes. But I feel like both parents, mom and dad, were very supportive. You always took me to dance lessons and competitions. And I feel like we had such a fun childhood. Haley and I talk about that a lot. Like I feel like going on road trips, we'd always go up to the cabin and you'd pack little goodie bags. And for when we went through the tunnels, you'd have little flashlights ready.

And you made everything really fun. yeah and like going fishing with dad you'd make us little goody bags i just have so many fun childhood memories we'd have parades in the kitchen where you'd have different instruments and we'd have a parade around the kitchen and i feel like i have so many so many good childhood memories i'm glad about that because it was fun for me too oh i bet it was yes and and then to see um both of you grow and and to share that passion for life and living and laughing and loving, I, that makes me. You're so proper on a podcast. Can you like swear or something? Gosh, no, I don't swear. Yeah, you do. But I still feel like you need to speak up. You're trying to be quiet. I'm like

yelling right now. Okay, Caitlin. Yeah, there you go. But you're so proper. Let loose. Feel like you're on Snapchat. Come on woman. Okay. I feel like what my dad used to say to me. me when they'd have company over. Tone it down a notch? No. He'd say, you're on, kid. Oh. And then I'd perform.

And you'd have to put your tap shoes on and stand up on a ping pong table. On a ping pong table. Don't go over this side too much because it'll tip. Don't go over there. Just stay in the middle. And you just had to perform? I had to perform. Well, yeah.

Do you feel like maybe you're resenting me right now? No, I'm not. But don't you feel that sometimes? That you put make me on? Yeah. I don't make you on. Oh. Okay. No, it's just contagious when I'm on, you're on.

That's true. I don't tell you beyond Katie. We definitely feed off each other's energy. Yes. Energy. It's so funny because people, I talked about this on the last podcast, and I how people call me Kate or Katie or Katie or Beans. Yes.

And or Babe in Sean's case, but you call me KD. I do. and people think that it's Katie, but no, I'm calling you KD. Because my middle name is done. Yeah. So you're calling me by my initials. That's right. What a fun fact.

Ooh, I like that. Thanks. You are what? What are you going to say? I don't remember now. Can you keep drinking? Can we have fun, Leslie here, please? And scene.

Mom, people can't see you. This is the problem. We need to get a 360 camera going in. podcast rooms. I know they do that at podcast one, but I need to start doing that because I feel like it's funny to watch people drink and hang out. Well, body language has a lot to do with it, but I'll try. I'll try to just let go, Mom.

Okay. Let go. Can we edit all that out where I'm nervous? No. Oh, okay. It's the buildup. Well, I don't want to let people down. I don't want to let you down. You're not going to let me down. You talked about that in one of your podcasts about how you didn't want.

want to let the producers down or anybody else on the showdown. You're not going to let me down. Okay, well, that's what I wanted to tell you, because you said, I didn't want to let my parents down. You didn't let us down. We were so proud of you. Well, thank you. Like, it was go, Katie.

I know. We'll get to the show, so. I wanted to talk about my first memory because we were talking about my childhood and how fun it was and growing up, but I was also like a very weird kid. I didn't even know. No, you knew I was weird. But probably because I was, now I find out weird. I didn't really think you were that weird.

Well, I was, but here's my first childhood memory, which I find very interesting. I've been watching a lot of, um, I'm sorry. Are you already done that whiskey? Good, good. I was drinking through his straw because we'll pour another. Oh, you have wine now? You started with a whiskey and now you're going to move to wine. Well, guess what?

you're off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. Wow. That's an aggressive core. That's the errorator. Okay. Now, okay, you have white pants on, so I'm a little concerned. Oh, and they're dirty. I've got spray washed.

It's all good. Oh, okay. Speaking of wine, Mom. Cheers to that. This is a really good bottle of wine. And believe me, I know it's hard to find that great bottle of wine. even though I'm practically an expert, but for a lot of you,

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No, actually, I say FACIS. Okay, because that's just a little inside joke. But, well, we're not doing inside jokes right now. You're too planned for podcasts. I like to wing it. You're too planned. If there was a camera right now, I'd be double winging. I'd be doing tap dance, wing and a wing.

Jump, jump, jump, jump, but a wing. Okay. Nobody knows what that is, but okay. My first childhood memory is us being at the cabin. Yes. So we had a cabin growing up at Shushwap. And my first memory is being upset and walking outside and pulling down my pants. And I would do that if I was mad.

We couldn't get you to keep your clothes on. Yeah. Well, it was a struggle. It was a struggle to get you dressed in the first place. I don't make clothes. You saunter out into like this little path where there's trees and you just look behind. And you pull your pants down and you just moon us. I'm going to bring back mooning.

Mooning's funny. You were two. Actually, I moved you until I was like at least 20. I always thought it was funny. No, I was, I think I was three. It's my first childhood memory. No, you were two, actually. Wow.

Yes. What a memory, Caitlin. Yes, what a memory. Because I have a picture of it. You were two. And I actually remember thinking I was proving a point. Like, I'm going to pull my pants down. I'll show you.

I'll show you. And we took a picture of it. So we should show you. Yeah. be at my wedding, isn't it? Oh, yeah. I don't know why, but I just felt like that was proving a point to pull down my pants. Yeah. What is that? I don't know. I don't do it anymore. Any psychologists out there that must be. Oh, I should talk to my therapist about that. Why did I feel the need? So what does it mean? She's going to say, Caitlin, you wanted attention. Oh, true. So, but you were maybe,

why am I not a therapist? You were maybe upset about the bathroom incident. You're not going to talk about my two-year-old poops right now. Okay. We can. No, carry on. Okay. I don't mean. I don't mean, I've been watching a lot of Tony Robbins, motivational speaker, and he always asked people, whose love did you crave more, your moms or your dads? And I'm like, nah, I don't like that question. I don't like that either. I don't like that question saying, who do you love more? Well, no, that's not. He's not, well, clearly it's me. But he's, he's going to call in, help, help. Haley thinks she's the favorite. I think I'm the favorite. It'll never. Here's the change. We didn't have kids until we had been married just about nine years.

Yeah. And when we had Haley, I thought I could never love another child. Enter Caitlin. And then comes this stinker. And then you could. And then I found out, hey, I've got the capacity to love another child just as much as my first. Just like you love doodle. Yeah.

More than you. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. Yeah, you would. No. No. I love doodle and then you think, oh, and I don't want to talk about it if doodle's not here. But you're thinking, I could never love another dog like I love doodle.

I couldn't. I've had dogs and I've never loved dogs like I love Tucker. I have never. You will find out because it's different when you know I'll love a child in a different way. But dogs like dogs love dogs. What am I a dog? D-A-D-W-G dog. You're a dog.

D-A-W-G. dog you actually i was just going to mention this to you you smell like updog what yeah oh no i'm not going to i really thought i was just about no oh i thought for sure i was like aha this is going to be hilarious oh katelyn what look where there what what you're freaking me out what oh no what i just want to make you say underwear but i don't show you're sorry good one mom joke fail you got you scared me i thought there's like a ghost you're like katelyn look over there i was like what okay good on mom jokes now now everybody can see where i get my terrible jokes from um no but i was i was actually the weirdest child like i my had issues you had some issues

we all do but mine were super strange like kate how would you describe me as like a child like a toddler one two three years old how would you describe me your sisters shadow that's how i would describe you oh i just followed her around everywhere i wanted to do and you and you just yeah you put on dress-up clothes and you you just follow your sister around oh katelyn has some independence no that was a good thing i thought it was beautiful that's beautiful that was a shout out to brie right there that nobody even knows it um okay what about um teenager how did you describe me awkward oh yes i was so awkward you were awkward because i think you started um wondering about what other people were thinking about you yeah you which is so not who you are now which is a

wonderful thing but i think every teenager goes through that yeah i guess that's actually really normal but i was next level i remember being in school and i wouldn't go to the vending machine um because i was too nervous that people were looking at me like i didn't want the tension on me. Well, things have changed. You were just saving it. I was saying, yeah, I'm making up for a lost time now. Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me. Hello. But I was so awkward. And I feel like, I don't know. Yeah, like you said, every teen is awkward, but I was next level. Like, you were overthinking it. Oh, I wonder where you get that. Well, you'd think you'd grow out of that, but you have. Yeah. One out of two ain't bad.

But I remember having such severe OCD that I would lay in bed and panic because I did not understand that my breaths in were shorter and my breath out was longer and I wanted it to be even so I'd have full-blown panic attacks and you'd sit there at the end of my bed just like rubbing my feet or rubbing my back telling me it was okay and I'll be like it's not okay why is why am I like this yes yes and I think everything was wrong with me actually I think we should have taken you for some therapy which oh hell yeah i i wish we would have been more open to that when you were younger because i think it's an awesome thing i think oh i love my therapist every people person young old should be able to go to a therapist or or or someone yeah and just talk about it

and then if another child you don't want to go to a therapist and like talk about your feelings no but no but you do now in this day and age in in that day and age It was unheard of. I get excited to go to my therapist. I'm like, I can't wait to see her today. I wonder what we're going to talk about. It's a feel good thing. It is a feel good thing.

And to know you're not alone and that you're not so. We would. Yeah, but I'm telling you, as a kid, I couldn't handle, like, if I was, I remember going on a field trip and it was skiing, we were going skiing, and I had so many layers on the bottom, like I had long johns and then I had pants. What? You've talked about that on your last podcast. I did?

Did you? I don't know. I think so. And I couldn't. handle like the right top layer being not as even as the bottom and i just thought you didn't want to go skiing i was making excuses yeah i did but now i mean i mean then you went on to snowboard and stuff like that it wasn't that you were afraid of that it was that your oCD was taking over and i'm sorry that i didn't recognize that because i would have got you some some help yeah but maybe you know i figured

it out on my own. And that's probably why I am who I am today. Did you? Whoa, you went real close to the mic for that one. Did you though? Did you? But I don't know when I snapped out of it, but I wouldn't even eat my lunch because I was too nervous that people were like staring at me. And now, let me ask you a question. What? Sorry to interrupt. But if you went out on dates, did you not want to eat in front of the other person because you were embarrassed about I was too young to date then or like actually go on dates because then you know what I turned into I remember going on dates when I was like 1920 going on dates with guys and I would purposely order like a burger fries and hot wings just to like be like look look at me I don't care I didn't want to be the girl that like got the

salad and was uncomfortable that's good that's good see you started coming into your own and being confident it took me a long time but yeah what about the mistorphia the what misophonia what did you call it what did you call mistorphia yeah that's a fun word to make up saying again mistorphia no misophonia yes no i've always had that i can remember yeah i've talked about that with brie having um haley sitting at the breakfast table eating her cereal and i would just cringe at the noise of someone eating cereal Okay, well, that's a little known fact about that I have the same thing. Yeah, a lot of people do. I don't advertise it.

Oh, I do. Hey, world, I have misophonia. I have misdorfia. I feel like we can make a commercial about misophonia. Maybe we can come up with a cure. Yeah, earplugs. Yeah. Okay.

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I feel like I would always call you on the phone. No, Kailen, I have to tell you. What? I was not prepared for you to leave home. Oh, really? What? It was. I was so ready.

No, I was so not ready. You went to Vancouver to do that scholarship. With dancing, yeah? Yes. And you were supposed to come home. And then you called me and you said, I was like, freedom! Freedom!

Like you didn't have freedom when you were growing up. Did you really picture me living my life in Ladook, Alberta? Nothing wrong with that? I'm not saying that, but who I am and my personality is way too big for Ladook. Definitely, okay. I could see you moving on to other things, but I as a mother was not ready for you at 19 to say, Mom, I'm coming home and packing everything and I'm moving to Vancouver. But also as a mother, weren't you happy to see me succeed?

I didn't know, Rick. No, I did not picture. I wasn't thinking about succeeding. I was thinking about, wait, wait, but I'm not ready yet. Oh. Like, I haven't, have I given her all the wisdom I could give? That's you overthinking. Classic Lester.

Lester the molester. Hey, hey now, hey now, hey now. That's just a little rhyme that's, nope, not funny. And so, anyways, no, I was not ready for you to leave. I mean, I was very happy for you. Mm-hmm. And it's the only time. Sounds like it.

Oh, I was so happy. I was like really happy for you? I was so happy that. I watched football. Yeah, because I was a cheerleader. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, but that was so great for me. I needed that.

I didn't even know how to do. I mean, you spoiled me a little bit growing up. I didn't even know how to do my laundry when I moved out on my own. I was like, Mom, where do I put the sump? Like, I did not know how to live on my own. Do you separate your colors now? Yeah, and then I gained 10 pounds when I was 19 because I moved out. And all of a sudden I was like, well, my metabolism is great.

I'm going to eat waffles for breakfast. Go grab a mocha with whipped cream after that, have Wendy's or McDonald's for lunch. And then for dinner, I'll probably just like have spaghetti and Alfredo sauce. It's all about moderation, Caitlin, which was not what I was doing. You had to learn that, though. Oh, I sure did. We all have to learn that. But then I feel like it's what?

Oh, mine. These aren't crystal. That didn't even, was that plastic? No. Cheap. Just kidding. But I feel like through my whole 20s, I just really figured it out. Well, you did.

But through that, though, like people ask me, oh, are you living through your daughters? And you're like, yeah, especially Caitlin. Haley has two kids, so then you're living through that. And Caitlin is where she's at. You're using your radio voice. I am because I'm trying to make a point. Okay.

Go on. Never mind. No, tell me. Okay. No, I. This is classic mom being sensitive. I get a little, I do get a little offended because I'm not living through my children. Do people actually say that to you?

Yes. Yes. That's because they probably wish they were living through us. Maybe. because it's wonderful and those a lot of mothers will relate it isn't that we're living through you it's that we are so happy and excited for you of course mom no I don't think anybody really really question yes yes it's been sad well you know what my life is better than their vacation so I get it well vacation anyway I'm trying to get to everything I've been to

through. It's so weird. All the steps that I've taken and all the relationships I've been through and heart breaks and a lot of heartbreaks. No. Well, no. One. And it led me to go on the show. Oh, yeah. And I just want to know your thoughts. What are your thoughts when you, when I said, mom, I'm going on the bachelor. What went through your head? You called me. Truthfully. Okay. You told me about the process or is it US says process and we say process and process process and I knew you were going through that and going flying there and interviewing and coming back and forth and back and forth and they were like auditioning and then when you said you said you called me you said mom are you sitting down and I always I think because you've been such a fan of the show since the get-go so I thought

you were going to I watched it since day one day one and I would record it if I wasn't going to be home I didn't miss it a total fan yeah never never in my life thinking oh yeah one day one of my daughter's going to be on there yeah no no it's so surreal okay so what did you think uh you told me to sit down so I thought okay this has to be bad you thought I was pregnant don't do and no I didn't know what because you know the ringer i have for you on my phone yeah okay here's the thing mom's ringer for when haley my sister calls it's fairy farts it's fairy farts my girlfriend named it that so appropriately because it's when i call my mom it's this way emergency emergency emergency why i don't know it just seems appropriate because i because i'm dramatic and i always call you and go oh my god oh my god okay so

The alarm went off. I say, Mom, I'm going on The Bachelor. You said, are you sitting down? I'm going on the Bachelor. And I said, I don't remember what I said. I remember what I said when you became the Bachelorette. Well, everybody does. That was on TV.

No, but they missed some things. That's what really bugged me. Oh, really? That bugged you? They missed some things. Oh, did they edit a little bit out? And that bugged you? Try doing that for 12 weeks.

No. Left a lot out. He made me cry a lot of times about editing. You do. I cried with you. Give me a freaking break. I couldn't even. I still feel like I have a little bit of post-traumatic stress.

I believe we all do. That's it. Yeah. I feel like this is the first season with Rachel that I've been like, oh, actually, I guess it's only two seasons. But that's what I was like, oh, man, I just want to help her. I just want to talk to her through everything. And I'm, like, mad at myself for saying, like, I didn't know if I trusted Brian because

I'm like, I said it before if. Oh, my gosh. If somebody said that about Sean, I'd be mad. She's clearly happy. I'm happy for her, too, just like you do. And I'm proud of how you're supporting her. But I know you wouldn't do it if you didn't really feel it. Well, no.

So that's awesome. So, wait, where am I? I have some things written down here. I try and be a little organized, you know. So being on the show, yeah, that must be so weird. You said you wanted to, A, write a book or B, have like a support group with other bachelorette moms. Okay, first, if you write a book, I want a chapter. yeah and and then it is something that not very many moms out there go through to have your your

daughter be the bachelorette and i would have loved a support group because it's like do you feel what i'm feeling like are you like do you go to bed every night like kind of worrying and crying and i do that with my kids i would not even let my daughter be the bachelor's well you know what if they They could meet their Sean B. I would, yeah. And I would say you go through hell, girl. Yeah, yeah, because it's worth it in the end. But as you're going through it, you don't know.

And as a mother, I mean, every Monday we'd have a bachelor party or a bachelor party. And everyone thinks it's so fun and funny and like, and you're like, shit, balls. And I sit on the counter facing the TV and I wouldn't speak. I mean, and sometimes tears were coming down my face, but I wouldn't speak. I couldn't speak. Yeah. Because I was just, what the? Why are they?

What? A lot of beautiful moments, too. Oh, yes. And I wish they would have shown more of that. Oh, tell me about it, Mom. I wish. But you're a fan of the show. You would not have watched all these years if they only showed beautiful moments.

Sorry. Well, now I have a totally different opinion. And they have their job to do, just like you have said all the time. Yeah. It's their job. It's their job. And that's what they do. And I'm glad because...

But they should pay for a therapist after. Definitely. For everyone. And forever. And for the family. Because like you said, yes, I did wish there was a support group. Any bachelor's out there? Text my mom.

Her number is 780-887-55-2424-24. That's a lie. Yeah, that was from... That person is going to get... 555-24-24-mom is not a number. That's why they use 555 on TV shows so that you don't... All right. Anyways, yes.

It was surreal. I lost a lot of sleep. Mom, you know what? Try being... No, no, no. I get that. But, okay, are we getting into it? Did you tap me on the shoulder? Trying to read my notes here. What? Okay. Hey, mom, have you ever had an awkward shopping experience? Oh my gosh. Actually, I don't like shopping. But online it makes it easier. That's so easy. I love that. You don't have to go into a change room. And then you have the people that are like in the store who just want to like get your money so they're like that looks great and i hear they have phony mirrors too well anyways uh we've all had the awkward shopping experience wearing clothes that's in the past uh trying new trends that you don't like but got news for you mom oh with letot uh

they're like your fashion assistant they style your tote but you have full control of what goes into your box and you can swap out items to fit your schedule uh they have great selection of work wear we can wear everything in between so you can look great no matter what the occasion is and if you don't like it guess what you send it back i would so pay somebody to shop for me anyways go to letot com that's l-etot-com to get started for as low as $39 a month and you can enter promo code vine at checkout to get 50% off your first month it's basically like having your own personal stylist and if you don't like it you can send it back so once you sign up you'll receive your completely customized tote within days. Choose between

one or unlimited totes a month. Just wear what you want and return everything in the mail when you're done and it is that easy. Again, that is latote.com. Enter your code vine and feel fabulous with fashion delivered right to your door. Hey everyone. It's former

WWE host Lillian Garcia. Let me ask you a question. Do you ever wonder how your favorite stars make it to the big time? Then come check out my new show Chasing Glory with Lillian Garcia on podcast1.com. Hear me chat with some of your favorite athletes and entertainers about their rise to the top.

It's about to get real, raw, and inspiring. So join me for new episodes every Monday on podcast.1.com, the new podcast one app or subscribe on Apple Podcast. This is Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Are we going to get into when you told me you were the Bachelorette? Sure. All right. What a time.

What a segue. mom let me ask you a question how did it feel when I called you and told you that I was the bachelorette okay I knew the timeline that things were happening speaking of timeline let me just tell you we're this is going too quickly well they're going to have to make it a continue to be continued okay so I knew the timeline and I I knew because they take my phone away so I couldn't contact you yes but I was you know aware of the days and that they um on thursdays they did this or whatever day and i was expecting to hear from you if you were not chosen yes okay well let's back up the train let's back up the

train because we have time for that what well when you first were asked to compete for the Bachelorette. Yeah. With Britt. And who you, is a sweet part. I wish I would have met her, but you. She's so sweet. And you, we met you.

We flew to Vancouver to be with you and you were trying to decide what you were going to do because I didn't want to do it. I know, because you didn't want to put it out there. Hey, yeah, you got to compete against another girl for a guy. I hated that idea. Exactly. I was like, no, no man is going to choose who's a better wife between me or another girl. Right.

It puts out a bad message. Even though that's exactly what the bachelor is about, all I did was decide who would be a better husband among the 25 men. But that's, I mean, it's different. I know. It's different. And you, you, I remember you were at a friend's house and Rob and I were coming from the airport and we stopped at a corner to pick you up in a cab. And you got in the middle of us and you said, so? And we went, so?

because you said I have something to tell you and we didn't know what it was and you said so they've asked me to be the bachelorette and we're going whoa yeah yeah yeah and then you said wait a second and then you said wait for it and but they want me to compete against britt so britt could be the bachelette or me and we just looked at you like are you crazy and you said I cried for five hours and one of the producers said you where was that emotion when you were on the bachelor like whoa way. I tried so hard not to cry through The Bachelor. I was like, I'm not going to be that girl. I'm not going to be that girl. And then, I mean, they really, they really get you. But then when they told me I had to compete against another woman, because I liked Britt, too. So it was hard because, like, everybody has their differences. And Britt and I are very different people. And but I was, like, mortified because it just depends on the group of guys. It doesn't have anything to do with who you are as a person. And if you're a better woman, it's what kind of guys. they've got there and who likes what kind of woman. It's, it's, we're all different people. And so I was so offended. By the message that it put out too, I think you were offended because being the feminist. So, however, you did have a great bunch of guys.

Oh, did I ever? Like, beauties. Are we all over the board here? Like, I backed up the train. That's okay. And that's, oh, this is how my podcast works. Okay. I like being all of the men.

All right, all right. All right. So. But we really don't have much time and I have so much to get to. Okay. Okay, go. So the bachelor's when you called, okay, then I knew the timeline and I hadn't heard from her and I thought, oh my gosh, is she okay?

I mean, you called me when you went off the bachelor. Yeah, with Chris. And you called me, you went, hi, mom. Do you remember what you said? I went, oh, honey, I'm so glad you. Nothing against that person. No, no, no, no, of course not. But you didn't, it's so funny because, you know, I bring Chris home and we go through

this whole thing. It's a sweet boy. Oh, yeah. But then it's like, you know, like that, that obviously wasn't right for me. That wasn't the right path. And you said, I called you crying and you, you said, honey, what? He did you a gracious favor. He did you a gracious favor. He did you a gracious favor. But anyways, no, I did have a really good group of guys. Yes, you did. And you called, um, when, when Chris came and told you and you put your hand on his shoulders saying, it's okay. Like, because you thought he was going to tell you that. You know, Britt was there. Yeah.

And you know what made me so proud was when he told you, the first thing you said is, is she okay? Well, because my gosh, if that was me, I would be like, I feel like such a failure. I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like, but really that's not what it is. No, it was about the group of people. But that's who, what kind of person, girl or a guy would not feel not good enough if you were sent home? Well, I think Britt has a lot of confidence.

and she knew she was good enough. Well, yeah, and she was okay, and she met her now fiancé. Yeah. Or they joined back. I think they were dating before, but yeah, it's, I mean, it's all good. Everything works out. So anyhow, I'd been waiting for the phone call. Are we still on this topic?

And then, well, yes, because this is very important. This is very important. You, so it's three o'clock in the morning in Phoenix. And my phone goes, br-br-br-br-br-and. I went, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, oh, my God. so I pick it up and I say hello and I hear what yes I couldn't I said honey honey it's okay what an awesome experience you've had it's okay because I didn't think you'd been chosen for the chosen one whatever thanks for the confidence well because you were crying okay yeah you were crying and plus

we're in Phoenix where they're concrete walls like those houses okay just the reception is bad so I heard my you're not hearing me so I said okay just a minute so I jumped out of bed naked I sleep naked I go to the back door and open it so I could get better reception

great now we're all picturing you naked either sorry or you're welcome anyways so I said honey it's okay she says no mom no I'm the next bachelor at and then we had that and you were the phone because you said I wish I could call my mom and I don't know what producer was.

It doesn't matter. Anyhow. But what they left out was you said, I have the best group of guys. They said that. But then you said, my husband could be in there. I got a point for that just so you know. Well, and then they eliminated that and just I heard me saying, well, you go in there and find our son-in-law. And I did. And you did. Chambi. Hi, Fah, Shambi. Get your little cute little ass of here.

Hey, hey, back off. Lester the molester. Iron Man, Daddy, ass. Ladies and gentlemen, I've cracked her. Leslie is finally here. Everybody, welcome Leslie to the podcast. I'm in the building. Thanks for coming.

Thanks for showing up. Thanks for showing up, Mom. Do I get a medal? Nope. Nope, you don't. Okay, what did I have next to talk about? Yeah, we love Shambi. You love Shambi.

I love Sean B. He is everything that a mother would wish for their daughter. I agree. Actually, he was really pissing me off about five minutes before this podcast. And I'm like, you know what? But that's just life. That is life. That's life. And then when I talk about when I think of overall, I'm like, Sean B is also exactly who I would want for my daughter. You wouldn't want somebody that would count out to you. Nope. Or like that's like kissing. year I didn't know what that meant. Yeah, I didn't think you did. You gave me that. He does in the right times, but he's like, yeah, but he challenges you and you both are so good for each other. I don't want to use the cliche, but you are. No, we really are. That's what I said, like when I got back from the show and I went to Breeze Place, because I could only tell it like a handful of people. And I said, everything in my life makes sense now. I know I went through this. I know I did this. It all led me to go on a freaking show like The Bachelorette and find Sean. And I just, yeah, I think you were destined to meet.

I think somehow in this universe, hopefully you would have met somehow, but I don't know if it wasn't for the show. We're so grateful to the show. And thank you. And it was an arduous process for all of us. I hate you, but thank you. Yes, what you said. Speaking of Sean, I love leaving him little notes, and I discovered Love Pop.

The intricate 3D laser cut paper cards are designed by naval engineers in Boston on cutting edge software and then handcrafted and assembled by the Asian art form of slice form. Mum, you know what this is? Kirigami. Kirigami. So it's cut. It's cut. It's not folate. It's cut.

It's very intricate. And it's so, it's sweet. Sweet. The just created iconic designs for the Beatles and the Billboard Music Awards. Whoa, that's pretty cool. Love Pop gives you a reason to do something awesome for the special people in your life. Whether it's a wedding or a birthday, or if you're saying thanks for not mentioning that thing that happened in Vegas or on that camping trip, or celebrating a co-worker's compulsive love of cats or dragons, we've got you covered.

To enter the 2018 Love Pop birthday sweepstakes for a chance to win 503D birthday cards, visit lovepop.com slash vine. Lovepop.com slash vine again for your chance to win 50 3D birthday cards. So, okay, let's, oh yeah, I want to play a game. So if anyone follows, which I'm sure all of you do, because you're the most loyal following I've ever experienced. Yeah, that's how awesome you have so many supporters. Yeah, I said in the last one, I don't like saying fans because I don't think I'm any different from anyone else. I just went on a TV show. But I have a following who are so loyal and supportive.

So you guys obviously watch my snaps or Instagram stories and you see. my mom crowd favorite a real crowd favorite uh so we love games they had it coming oh boy all right we always play games yes oh here goes the wine pour i can't talk over that it's too can you give me a little too please sorry heather heather is uh my podcast producer who is just on the other end listening to this she's going shut up you guys stop that noise okay so we always play games always in this household all growing up we love playing cards we love playing games we're very competitive i thought we'd play a little true or false all right yeah but this is so so true or false i'm going to give you scenarios of me growing up and being rebellious and you're going to find out

some shit i don't know if i want to know you don't but that's part of the game it makes for a good reaction. So I'm going to give you scenarios. You're going to say if it's true or false and you're going to find out some stuff and I can't wait for your reaction and I'm also a little scared. True or false? I stole your car when I was 14 years old and drove out to a boy's farm. Caitlin. What? Did I already tell you I did that? No, but you didn't even have your driver's license. Yeah. So true or false? False. True. Both fucking what? I did. I did. I Sawyer Lumina, Green Lumina. When I was 14. And I took it out on the highway and I didn't even know that I could go that fast. So I was driving like so slow on the highway. Caitlin, that is dangerous. I know. That's so bad. Who's from? Danny Filenberg.

Oh, Donnie. He had a brother Danny. Anyways, I used your credit card. I used your credit card to buy an underage kid alcohol. oh my god i hope that's false it is thank god thank god thank god that is so wrong haley's calling right now yay hey heyley put her in speakerphone wait are you there yep what what's up are you gonna tell a funny story about mom or what hi honey

hey mom i'm gonna good how are you we wish you were here we're just in the middle of the game what's up are you going to tell us a funny story? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So remember the time when we used to go to the cabin all the time in the cabin? Yeah, we already talked about the cabin, yeah. Well, did you talk about the dragonfly?

Oh. Yeah. So, Caitlin is sitting on mom's lap. On the dock. A dragonfly, you know how sometimes they go like on, like, on like, on the backs of each other. They're having sex. They're fornicadeon.

Phone a caton. Okay. Go on. So anyways, those dragonflies flew by and mom got so scared she bumped her glass of whiskey and orange juice

up against Caitlin's teeth. And mom, you were such a freak about our teeth. Such a freak. Thank you, by the way, for that. But still, I wonder why I'm so paranoid about my teeth. I remember mom going into our room because we had a shared room at the cabin.

And I remember her coming into the room with a flashlight, checking on Caitlin's teeth to make sure they didn't go black. You were so worried that they were going to go black. P.S. they were my baby teeth that would fall out. I was a little paranoid. Yeah, you're right, Haley. It was a big deal. No, she's saying it wasn't a big deal. It was.

It's actually really not. well cup cupcake i need backup on this haley that's so funny i forgot about that story that's i was sitting on mom's lap in like a floaty chair in the water and she was drinking whiskey and two dragonflies were fornicating and she bumped her glass in my teeth and then checked my teeth every hour to make sure my teeth weren't damaged i was so afraid you used to put curlers in her hair and be in a housecoat and if i went to the park and i forgot to brush my teeth she'd run to the park in the housecoat and curlers and be like

I forgot to brush your teeth. Well, you know what? Yes, you would have that, Mom. You can thank me for that because, you know, teeth, to this day. No, those that were baby teeth, they fell out and we got new ones. But if anything happens to anybody, I always say, if you fell and hit your head, I'd say, how your teeth. Yeah, you don't care.

Who cares about the old brain? What? No, yeah. That's how she does with the kids, too. I'm not like that. Did you bump your teeth? Oh, my gosh. Did you bump your teeth?

Who cares about the old brain? How are the jibs? That's funny. Haley, we're already way over time, but I'm so glad you called it. I'm so glad I saw you calling and that you could be a part of this because we love you. Love you. We miss you. I love you guys too.

Okay, talk soon. I have major FOMO. I know. Oh, I know. HachTick FOMO. Love you, Haley. Okay, love you too. We love you.

Bye. Okay. Oh, that was cool. That was a nice little break. Maybe it'll butter you up. for the next what's the next thing true or false

okay true or false I rear-ended somebody in the Audi S-5 convertible oh my god is Rob listening to this probably true or false

it's true it's true oh and gee this is the one I was the one I was the most scared for it was your 60th

surprise birthday and I was working two jobs at a roofing company in a restaurant and I was driving home and mom and Rob lent me there how do you say it Audi Audi Audi S5 convertible I'm driving down and I looked over and I saw somebody I thought I knew and I looked forward and I was like uh-oh and I rear-ended somebody like pretty hard I'm gonna go puke right now okay well excuse me yeah and I was like oh my gosh I've never had an accident. I've never, and so I was so I was like, oh my gosh, what do I'm pulled over. And this guy was pissed. And he was like, could you just come look at my front, um, the front of my truck right now?

Wait, wait, the front? Yeah, just, I'll tell you. And so I looked in his front was smashed in. He goes, my neighbor just backed up into my car yesterday. And now you've rearended me. We go and look, there is zero damage to either car. Zero. I got his information. He got mine, everything. And I looked and I'm like, I don't know how this is possible. And he goes, you hit me pretty hard. and there's zero damage to either vehicle. What about your teeth? Oh, my. They could have hit this very well.

Scary part is I think you're serious. But, okay. I shouldn't care about my teeth. No, Caitlin. And it was your surprise 60th birthday. I was like, I can't go home and tell them. Oh, my gosh. Did you get whiplash?

No, I'm good. Oh, all good, man. Have you told Rob that story? Hell no. Well, you have now. I know. Hi, Rob. Love you.

True or false. false, I've been arrested. Okay, that's false, because I'm sure you could talk your way out of it. Yeah, I've never been arrested. True or false, I put rum and Coke in a water bottle in high school and passed out during a math exam. That's so detailed. Okay, was that with the head? Kind of with a high voice?

Uh-uh. No? True or false. I'm not talking about the teacher. I'm saying, Caitlin, you would have used vodka. Yeah, I used whatever alcohol it was in the house that you didn't use. So rum. You really did that?

Yeah. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea. Me and my girlfriend, Melissa. That's not a proud moment. Hey, Melissa, Ruddy. What's up? Hey, Ruddy. We put rum and Coke in our water bottles and thought it was funny.

And we went to school and I had a math exam. And I passed out. I wouldn't even say passed out. It's not like I was wasted. I just fell asleep on my desk and woke up. And they were like, okay, Caitlin. we're picking up the exams and I just circled C for every answer and I think I passed. Oh my gosh. No, I'm so sorry. So sorry. Hell.

Who are you apologizing to? CHS? What are you even talking about? Oh, okay. True or false. You used to go into the bathroom with your cell phone. Hey, Mom, I want to come home. What? Yes, you did.

Yeah, I hated school, whatever. true or false i got fired from the golf course i worked at for stealing cash and i told you i quit false yeah it's false thank god i didn't even want to let you think that was true for a second oh no no no oh cute um i feel like you've really loosened up in the last 30 minutes thank you okay so we're just going to get to questions then we're done no mom you can't we we got to keep people on their toes what about Sean can i talk about Sean? You already did. I didn't talk about what he calls me. Oh, yeah. That was my whole point. That was the whole point of my first, um, when I was saying, oh, look, I had it written down. I think I

missed a whole. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So after the show, we could do what we could have like Snapchated us eating pie and there would been an article online about it the next day that nobody really reads it's just somebody like even if it was like a blogger like some there would always be an article so we were um out on mom and rob's boat and there was a crazy storm and maybe some of you remember no you're missing well mom we really don't have a lot of time well you're gonna have to edit okay okay so we went to pentictin on the boat with Sean and Caitlin And we went to see Caitlin's aunts and uncles to always forever count there. You don't need.

Just skip that. Okay. So we were partying in the room and we were playing family feud. And we were playing. And we were having a good time. It was like 9 o'clock. It was not late. And we hear this knock on the door.

Oh, sound like that. And I go to the door and he says, we've had a noise complaint. So if you could just keep it down. And I say, thank you. And I close the door. And then I go in and I sing, everybody needs a pooper. That's why we invited you. Party pooper.

Party pooper. And Sean was killing himself laughing. I think I was so hilarious. Like, he just thought, wow, this is funny. So anyhow, and mom feeds off laughter. Mm-hmm. Don't we all both, whatever? So then we go to go back on the boat.

from Pentec to Vernon and we're singing the song all the time and we stop along the way and meet people like even on a boat they pass and they go bean anyways so we're going we're going to Jillian's cabin that's where we're going um and so all of a sudden a storm came up and it was a terrible terrible storm like I've never been so scared on the water it was really scared and there was huge waves coming over and splashing us. So I started crawling on the boat floor to hand out life jackets. You did have a whiskey in one hand, to be fair. No, I did not. No, that was before. So anyways, I'm crawling to make sure everybody has a life jacket because this is very scary. And I'm clearly Snapchatting the whole thing, because if that's how we were going to go, I wanted the people to witness it.

But the thing is, I was feeling very worried and scared. Rob was worried. Was worried. I was worried. scared and he was driving the boat there was our front spotlight blew off like it was actually really scary crazy crazy storm waves we were just like walking side to side we couldn't even like stand up good thing we had a three tune pontoon so anyways they snap show off we get it you have a big boat whoa whatever floats your boat so we're going along and and then here are kately and shan sitting there i'm handing them life jackets but they think i'm being hilarious crawling. But it's because I could not stand up. Because you were drunk. Yes. No. You snuck that in there. No, it was because it was so crazy. I know. But anyways, so Sean and I, you snapped me. And then

that night, it came out on some online something. That nobody reads, by the way. Sean and I are laying here and we hear mom crying. Yes. And I was like, oh my gosh, what happened? So I go and I'm like, Mom, what happened? There's an article saying I was drunk. And I'm like, A, you were. I was not. And B, who cares? No, I cared because I was trying to save lives.

And I said, Mom, if you could imagine every article that's ever been written about me. I know. I've learned. I've learned now. And I mean, okay, anyways, that's Sean's nickname for me because I was being the skipper handing out life jackets, his name for me is P. Skipper. Pooper skipper. Pee for Pooper, skipper. Because you're not a party pooper. I'll give you that. I'm not a part of pooper. If there is anyone who's not a party pooper, it's you. It's me. So that's where

my name came from. Mom, you know how I'm shopping for a car right now? Have you ever heard of true car? Oh, yes, I have. From my podcast, probably. From your podcast. So in order. Sounds awesome. Yes. And in order to feel comfortable that you're getting a fair price you need pricing contacts information that empowers you to feel confident and with true car you'll see what other people in your local market paid for the car you want and from there you can connect with a local true car certified dealer and enjoy a more confident car buying experience so so once you register you'll see real pricing on actual inventory this is competitive pricing offered to you only buy a true car certified dealer for an actual vehicle on their lot it's pricing you'll see before going to a dealership so you can feel confident when you show up. True car users save an average of over $3,000 off MSRP. Wow. Over 3 million cars have been sold to true car users by the 13,000 strong True Car certified dealer network.

When you're ready to buy, visit True Car to enjoy a more confident car buying experience. Some features not available in all states. Well, I would just like to say because I don't know how much time I've got left, but you've planned out this whole podcast that you're like, oh, what do I need to talk about? Okay, what? No, I do want people to know. Like, I'm very proud of all our children and who they are and what they give out to the universe. But Caitlin having this platform where she is encouraging women to support women and not put each other down and to help young women who are going through this social media thing that scares you about your nieces and nephews and our grandchildren to Just be yourself and be strong and know that you're not alone. And you're not weird. And if you're weird, it's okay because so is Caitlin.

And so was I. But we're just so proud of her for doing this. Oh, I knew you're going to cry at one point. Oh, mom. No, I am because you have the ability to reach so many people and to know. Well, because it's affected me so much. I feel like growing up in a dance world, I actually had this on my, in my notes to talk to you about because you grew up and you were a ballerina and you actually were a professional ballerina. And if I'm going to toot your horn, pump your tires, you were one of the original members of Alberta Ballet Company.

And that must have been so hard because I know growing up in dance studio, all I did in the mirror was compare my body to other girls. And I had like an ideal ballerina body because I was so, so tiny. And I would want to be bigger. I always wanted to be bigger. And then the girls who were not big, but bigger than me, wanting to be smaller. I always wanted to be taller. See, and it's just so sad because it's like you want so many things that you're never going to have. So why not appreciate the body you're in?

But we all feel the same way. It's like the grass is always greener. But no, because people with straight hair, one curly hair, people with curly hair, one straight hair. And it's just so sad. But, I mean, I really, I think I'm so passionate about this topic. and about helping people because I've suffered from it. And the raw beauty thing is. Isn't it just a beautiful thing?

Oh, my gosh, my heart. That is awesome. You were telling me earlier that it actually has helped you. Caitlin, like, I'm your mother. I'm your mother, so. Hey, shocker. I'm your mom. Okay.

I'm not your man. I'm your mom. I'm your mom. I'm your mom. So I want Caitlin to know that even, her mother is affected by what positivity you're putting out there to accept yourselves like I've been in some snapchats where I would say no no no you can't no you can't post that no no no no but and I'm like nobody looks at anything and everybody loves your personality and it's about judging and I am hard on

judging myself yeah you're really hard on yourself and that's not a good thing and I love how you promote Don't judge yourself and don't judge others. But I also have to work on that myself. Oh, yeah. We all do. We all do. But I'm all about. But I've learned from you to be more accepting and loving to myself.

And I thank you for that. Oh, you're so cute. I love when you get emotional. Oh, well, it doesn't happen all of 10. Yeah, it does. Happened like 20 minutes ago. No, thank you for saying that. I think it's so you've taught me so much.

So I'm glad I can. Yeah. have some sort of learn we can and i'm still learning we're all still learning but well when you stop learning you're not here anymore yeah yeah exactly well that was nice we've had some laughs we've had some drinks we've shed some tears we've really done it all oh i want to keep going well we will we have a couple questions from the the water world oh yes twat twat what do you do that for i don't like that word Twy? Are you twitting me?

Twatting. Twatting me? Anyways. All right. People, I mean, I put it out there on Snapchat and said, everybody asked mom a question. So here's a few that I picked out, which I'm sure you Google searched my name or put it in Twitter and read all these questions already. It comes up automatically. No, I didn't.

It's one of your favorite pastimes. Hey, I read current affairs on my, on my. Caitlin, did you know? You're pregnant? Oh, no, Mom. I didn't. Thank you. I saw that on the magazine. Yeah. And I'm going, I remember dad just being so confused at the grocery store. Kate. Because he doesn't like keep up with the gossip mags. He's a Kate. Is there something you want to tell me? I'm like, no, dad. Jennifer Aniston's been pregnant 42 times. This is just me once and it's not true. Okay, questions for mom. Dad, wait, by the way. For me to be pregnant? Yeah. Oh, me either. I really can't. I mean, I do have to sacrifice wine for nine months, but I'll do it.

it. Oh, you can do it. I did it. And then I breastfed for 18 months, so I sacrifice lots. Well, to each their own. Emily, I always butcher people's name, so I apologize her off the bat. Kicking it with Lester. Here we go. Emily Chain, what's the funniest thing you can remember from Caitlin's childhood? To anything, you can't embarrass me. You can't. Yes, you can. Okay. When she was two, she said had such a big poop. She had to stand up. It was at a porta potty. No, yeah.

Well, in the cabin. It's not a porta potty. It was the bathroom. Well, it was the bathroom. But in a cabin, it was a smaller thing. And then... I was not two. I was older than two.

No, you were too. She was mortified. And I found it very funny. Because dad came in, like, when you're two, your parents help you. And dad said, whoa, how did that? that thing come out of you and then I and that's when I taught myself how to wipe my own butt I wipe my own ass and did you know there's dude wipes what a random comment it's about wipes anyways thanks for that we went there so that's the funniest thing you remember is me

mortified by a large poop when I was two the funniest thing I mean there's so many funny things one more you're hilarious what about me pulling know my pants or playing the piano naked oh oh here's the thing haley took piano lessons katelyn well both of them played by year haley fooled her teacher that she couldn't read music i mean like thought she could read music but she couldn't and then she played and then they'd have a bath or a shower and kaelan would run down to the piano naked as a j-bird of course because she didn't like having clothes and sat on that naked yeah okay sat on the piano stool with her hair down to her waist and played the same song that her sister had been working on working on working on and she just

got up there and played it I guess you could say I'm the songbird of our generation oh that was good thanks okay Lacey asked what was who's your least favorite guy on my season no Ian because Oh, well, Ian was rude to you. But then he apologized, so I forgive him. Yeah, he did apologize. Thank you for that, Ian. What about my faith? Who's your favorite?

Well, Sean. Duh. And Cupcake. And I love Cupcake. I actually think you might have a little bit of a crush on him. How are my teeth? Okay. What?

K-E-E-L? I mean, I wrote it down. I don't know if that's a typo, but. Oh, no, we already talked about that, so it's okay. I will butcher this name. Sarah Wynner. Wynne. She has the name Wigner.

But it could be Wigner or Wigner. Wigner, that's probably what it is. How do you feel about Rick? I love Rick. Who doesn't love? I love when people try and do the voice and some people just hold the R way too long. They're like, I know. I did pretty good.

Let's hear it. Brick. Oh, no, no, you're better. Oh, that's dead. Ah, well, you know. Well, you know. Oh, I miss Rick. I feel like I haven't done well.

Arlene asked, oh my gosh, she called me Bean. Oh, cute. Oh, that's so cute. What did Bean want to be when she grew up, and what did you actually think she would be? Actually, and this is in all honesty, she wanted to be famous. No, I wanted to be on the radio. Well, that's famous to me. No, it's not.

I honestly... If you're famous, you're on the radio to me, that's like, wow. Actually, that is famous to you. I always dreamt of being a host of something. Right. To me, that's famous. Yeah, not me. I think I always just wanted my name to be known.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And my... Caitlin who? What? And my ideal situation was radio. Because you could be in your pajamas. Yeah, exactly.

Bananas. pajamas that's only like the second song you come up with this i know i've been holding a okay and what did you actually think i would be i actually thought you would be some kind of entertainer i seriously did i didn't know how i think that's what i wanted to be growing up was an an entertainer because you love to make people laugh and you love to laugh at yourself which is the best quality people can have how do you think i get this eight pack Katrina Vigano

Vigano wants to know if you and your mom had a wine off who could drink more wine Oh, we should have asked Haley this

I did after Oh, what was her answer because I know the answer What's your answer? On three, one, two, three You I agree Yeah, yeah

I actually think you could drink me under the table I've seen me I mean my whole life I don't think I've ever seen you Like drunk

No But you drink so much wine, which I respect. Well, it's good for the heart. I agree. Well, one glass is good for the heart. Karen Ho. Oh, see, this is one of those nice hoes I was probably talking about on the last podcast.

Hi, Karen Ho. She wants to know what your mom was like in her 20s. Were you as wild as me? Well, yes. Oh, I don't want to know. No, no, not that. I was married at 21. But I worked with a great bunch of people at a school that we would have.

Oh, it sounds wild. It was, we called it. We'd pass each other in the hall and say, you're going to Poets Day. And parents would look at us and think, oh, that's great. They're studying poetry. But really, it was piss on everything tomorrow, Saturday. Poets Day. Wait, that's funny.

It was great. So we had an awesome time. Look at your whole demeanor. has just changed. You're hunched over. You're cross-legged. You're drinking your mind. I'm sorry, everybody. I was uptight at the beginning because you know what? Like I said, I didn't want to let everybody down because you're not going to. You look at me like, oh, you're hilarious. You're going to let people down if you're uptight. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not anymore, but I mean, I was nervous because expectations.

There's no pressure. I put those on myself. I'm not saying you did. I did. Can I have a tiny bit more wine, please? Sorry, Heather, we're going to. I feel like, gosh, that thing is loud. I don't know. Especially when to put a microphone today. Say it for the people on the back. People in the back row. Okay, here us. That's good. Okay.

But I just wanted to say that you've been a real treat to have on the podcast. I've thought about this day since I started podcast. I'm like, I can't wait down my mom on. I never thought it would happen because I just, because I overthought everything. And I did in bed thinking, okay, if I was on a podcast, I'd say this and that. You really do overthink everything. You got to go with a flow a little more, ma. Well, I'm glad you've learned to do that.

Yeah. Yeah. So, thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you, podcast one. Oh, look at that shout out. Seriously. But no, you are a very funny.

weird vivacious lovely lady you've taught me a lot and I have you to think don't cry I have you to think for where I'm at in my life

mom don't cry I'm saying something nice smile and thank you for being a guest on the podcast this is the first and definitely not the last time we'll hear from Lester

the molester. Oh, see, now you're owning that nickname. Oh, no, I don't like it. Okay, if you guys don't want to miss an episode of Off the Vine, I say it every time, and I'm going to say it again, podcast.1.com, download the podcast one app. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Do anything you can to listen to this podcast and leave your review and leave your ratings, and I still have every desire and plan to have fans.

And I said it on the podcast as a co-host. So that's so cool. I'm going to ask questions from all my podcasts. Can I be there? Can I be there? Nope. But thanks for asking. Okay, cool.

All right. All right. I am Caitlin Bristow. And I will see you next Tuesday. Wee. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Download or listen to new episodes every Tuesday on the Podcast One app or subscribe on Apple podcasts or at podcast1.com. And don't forget to rate, review, and share.

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