Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Liz Moody: How To Level Up & Change Your Life

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Time to level up, Baylins! If you've been wanting to make a change in your life but find yourself stuck in a rut, this episode is your sign to start now. Liz Moody joins Kaitlyn on the pod to... share tips on managing anxiety, boosting confidence, and taking small steps toward a better life. With over a decade of experience in the health and wellness space, Liz has a wealth of knowledge to share – it's no wonder she wrote a book! They dive into topics like the value of healthy envy (and why we all admire Taylor Swift), the origins of confidence (and why you shouldn't wait to build it), and ways to increase your lifespan by 7 years (because aging is a gift). To wrap it up, they share tips for overcoming the dreaded Sunday Scaries and handling social media comparisons. You’ll want to grab a pen and paper for this one to jot down notes or maybe even a few tattoo ideas. Go grab Liz’s book, 100 Ways to Change Your Life, now at lizmoody.com or her convo card decks at healthyconvo.co!  Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: ANGI – Your home for everything home. PROGRESSIVE – Get a quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. SKIMS – The Cotton collection and more are available now at SKIMS.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:32 So if you're ready to level up, she is our gal, sign me up. She has tips for all aspects of your life, from relationships to success. This is your sign to make some changes so that you can live your life to the fullest. I brought you books, and then I brought you my conversation started up. I'm really glad because I will say... I have a sexy one, too, if you want the sexy one. Yeah. Who am I going to use a sexy one with?
Starting point is 00:01:54 I do. It's great with girlfriends. Oh, okay. Like, it's like you can do it with, couples, but also if you just want to have a like raucous night out where you guys are like talking about dicks and like having a good time, it's good for that too. I designed it for like, I pictured Bachelorette parties when I designed it. Yeah. Okay, I'm glad you brought those because when we were doing our prep doc and like preparing for this, I was like, I really hope she
Starting point is 00:02:15 brings me one of her decks. But I'm so glad you did because anything conversation starter like that you can just end cards at the same time. I'm such a fan of playing cards. And if you can pull out a card around a group of girlfriends or, you know, just dinner parties or wherever and just start a conversation. It's the best. Totally agree. I also just feel like everybody is bored of having like the surface level conversations, but people don't know how to like move to the next level and be like, I didn't ask it as the card. Because it kind of starts, all conversations usually start with like surface level and then eventually you get somewhere so you you might as well just pull a card and get there right away.
Starting point is 00:02:49 A hundred percent. Don't waste your time with the shallow bullshit. Yeah. Well, cheers. Thank you for coming. I mean here. You're in L.A. I'm all over. You're all over. Yes. But you live in L.A.? No, I've been living nomatically for three years. Uh-uh. Mm-hmm. Oh, so you mean it when you say you're all over the place. Yeah. I'm not mentally, but physically. Right. And not mentally but physically. Oh, my, and you're in a 500 square foot apartment and we were like, oh, let's go to Colorado for a month and just decompress and see how it is. And then we loved it and we've been doing it ever since. I could do that. If I didn't have dogs, which a lot of people do the dogs, we do with our
Starting point is 00:03:35 cat. You do? Yeah. How do you travel? We travel in our car. You do? But then we rent Airbnb's in the places that we're staying. And that's kind of like our rent money for the month. And we were in New York paying New York rent. So, you know, it's comparable. I like that idea. I might, no, okay. I always get ideas. Never be the one to say no to yourself. Wait, say that again. Never be the one to say no to yourself. Well, I'm just so excited to learn more, like that, even that one little one-liner, that's your...
Starting point is 00:04:01 That's like my life motto. Yeah. I like that because I... But sometimes I say yes to myself too much. Is that a problem too? Okay, what's an example? Like, all of a sudden I want to be a nomad and be like, yes. And then I'll stress myself out because I'm...
Starting point is 00:04:16 I don't know. So I think if you're stressing yourself out, that's not ideal. But I also think that we don't give ourselves enough permission to just like try things and see if we like it. We think everything is a permanent decision. And sometimes we'll spend like two years being like, should I move to this town? Should I not? And if we just moved to the town and tried it out, we would like, we could have known by now whether we liked it or hated it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:37 All through my 20s, I was always scared to, I didn't even want to buy a couch because I was like, that means I'm tied somewhere. Like that means I'm tied down to that. And I would just like, I, couches though are really expensive. We're so expensive. You know what I have them? I lived in a 400 square foot apartment in Vancouver and I didn't even have room for a couch. So I had a chair like this, but it was green. So I put a black sheet over top of it so that it looked black.
Starting point is 00:04:59 I mean, honestly, I feel like it's a great hack. Couches are one of, I'm just like, what are you putting in these things? This couch out here in my living room so overpriced. I got it and I sat on it and I was like, I hate it. It's not even comfortable. And I'm like, this is stupid. Couches are like an investment. Okay, so couches are a decision worth stressing over, but every other decision in
Starting point is 00:05:18 life take a little bit lighter. Okay, fine. I've been talking to my friends and even my producer and everyone about, and my therapist especially, about leveling up in my life. Like, I'm sick of the low vibrations. I'm sick of like certain people, certain things. But I want to like level up my life and get on the high vibration and surround myself with people that inspire me, be like absolutely doing what I love to do. And I've been so stuck. So I'm excited to talk to you because I feel like you obviously are a little ball of knowledge about wellness and you know you have your is it mantras or mantras i do this every time mantra mantra mantra but you know what you can say anything any way you want be like i'm canadian i do that all the time that is my excuse it's pasta i don't know it's pasta i do that for everything
Starting point is 00:06:05 i'll be like um i don't know i'm canadian like that's just my excuse for everything i'm like all the Canadians are like we won't tell yeah we love you kately They're like, stop making it so dumb. Okay, so before we get into all that, I wanted to start with kind of how you got into this space, because it started off tough, am I right? Yes, yes, it did. It started off tough. So I've been a journalist since I was 16.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I pitched a newspaper column when I was a teenager. I, like, walked into my local newspaper office and was like, you should have a column for teenagers, and it should be written by me. That's never be the one to say no to yourself in action, which we can talk more about later. Then when I was in my late 20s, I moved to London with my husband. And he was in graduate school at the time. I was in New York before that I had a really strong community.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I had a great job, all of that. I moved to London, and I was like, I'm going to thrive. I'm going to be amazing. I loved traveling. I traveled by myself in South America for like a year. I traveled all over Europe. I worked in a coffee shop in Amsterdam. Like, I loved all of those types of things.
Starting point is 00:07:03 So I thought I was going to thrive, and I didn't. And I, spoiler alert, did not. Spoiler alert, I did not. My anxiety just got like worse and worse and worse. And I'd had this PTSD instant when I was traveling in South America by myself where I had a seizure by myself on the beach in Brazil after I smoked some weed of questionable origin. And at the time I like was in my party girl phase and I was just like, I'm sure I'm like vitamin deficient. I was having all these panic attacks.
Starting point is 00:07:32 And I had my mom like send me multivitamins. And I was like, I'm sure I'm vitamin deficient. And that's why I'm having these panic attacks and blah, blah. I didn't like put two and two together until I was by myself in London. My husband was going to school for really long hours and my anxiety just like got worse and worse and worse. And I started having panic attacks like here and there and then all of a sudden everywhere. I remember one time I was like doing my makeup. We were going to go to a rugby game and to watch it at a pub.
Starting point is 00:07:57 And I could not get myself to leave the house because I was so scared that I was going to have a panic attack at the pub at the rugby game. And it just my world got like smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. smaller from there. And then I couldn't leave my house. And then I couldn't leave my bed. And then for months, I was just like laying there in bed by myself. I was watching Netflix. I was like on the internet. And I really had convinced myself like this could be a good life. I can watch movies. I can talk to my friends. I can email people, whatever, which makes me so, so, so sad to think about now. Because I'm like, I call myself an experientially ambitious person. I want to live like the biggest life possible. I want to feel the highs. I want to feel the lows. I want to have
Starting point is 00:08:41 adventures. I want to make mistakes. And the fact that I was like, no, bed is fine. Like, bed is comfy, cozy. I will be okay here. Just like breaks my heart. It makes me so, so sad. It's so interesting because you say that. I'm like, bed does sound good. But I will say I go through phases like that where I, you know, I've got like hormonal depression where when it's like five days before my period, I do stay in the bed. And I'm okay with that because I'm like, my body needs this, but I have to really work to not get stuck in that mentality because it is so easy, it is so comfortable, but mentally it just messes you right up because you're not living. You're not doing the things that like actually give you serotonin and like release endorphins
Starting point is 00:09:23 and having conversations with people you might not have before and like getting fresh air. Just so many little things that you don't realize. But there's so many times that I'm like, I want to be like, have you ever seen bad moms where she's like, I just want to be in a tiny little car accident where I just like have to be in the hospital. I'm not really injured, but people just like come and bring me food and take care of me and make sure I'm okay and I just sleep in the bed. I'm like sometimes I get that.
Starting point is 00:09:46 And then that's when I know I'm in like a depressed zone is when I want to do that. Yeah. Well, and I think we trick ourselves also into thinking that like going out and connecting with real people won't feel as satisfying as it actually does because of that hurdle because of how hard it is. And the truth is it is really satisfying. And the truth is that laying in bed and scrolling on social media, like, never really soul satisfies you in the way that you want it to. It's never.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Yeah. So I was laid in bed. I was on my computer. And I started, because I'd been a journalist for so long, I was like, I might as well put these skills to you. So I started emailing all of these people and being like, what causes anxiety? Where in your brain does anxiety come from? What foods can you eat to help with anxiety? What practices?
Starting point is 00:10:30 Like, what is the research show about anxiety? And I emailed all these people who, like, I had no right to. I emailed, like, the head of neuroscience at Stanford. And I was like, hey, live for you here. Never be the one to say no to yourself. I love that. I'm literally going to get that tattooed on myself. But some of the people did write back to me.
Starting point is 00:10:46 A lot of them didn't. But some wrote back. And they were like, oh, well, you could try this. Or here's what this research shows. So I started to cobble together this little bit of a routine for myself. And to your point about those moments when we feel really awful when we're in bed, I do think, or when we're just like having a hard. time getting over a hump in life. I just did a whole podcast episode about how to get out of a
Starting point is 00:11:06 slump. And a huge theme of that is to like make it tiny. Make every single thing you do the tiniest, tiniest thing. So for me, I wasn't like, here's my week long plan. And here's what I'm going to do every single moment of every single day. It was like, I'm going to go downstairs and I'm going to make a green smoothie. And it was that one thing. And it was like, I didn't get my own groceries. My husband got my groceries. He like brought them in the house. Everything was ready. I made my green smoothie. I drank it. I went back to bed. And it's just these, I have this other motto, which this one is not original.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Isaac Newton came up with it first, but it is objects and motions stay in motion and objects at rest stay at rest. And the idea is that momentum or inertia is responsible for a lot of where we end up in life, but we give credit to our actions for those things. So like when you're in bed, inertia is keeping you in bed. It's not your fault as much as it's the fault of inertia. But when you're on a role, momentum is keeping you on a row. roll it's not your actions as much as it is the momentum so all we need to do is do the tiniest thing
Starting point is 00:12:08 to stop the inertia and to put us into a state of momentum so i say when you're like laying in bed when you're feeling stuck when you're in a slump do the teeny tini tiniest thing that can get you out like literally go make a cup of tea go send one email go text one friend and that can start to get the ball rolling it really is i mean it i i know because i've done this so many times where i'm just like just go. And it's so hard because you know doing that one little thing will just be like, okay, I could do it. Like, it's really not that big of deal. But we all think it has to be some big movement or some, like go burn 500 calories at a workout class. We tell ourselves it doesn't count. And like I think that if I could say one thing to everybody, it's like, it does count.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Like it counts. Like the littlest things count because our life is made of the culmination of these little things. So you kind of developed all these tools from doing research and just doing them yourself. So my anxiety tools, I did. And that was like where I started on my wellness journalism. But then I came back to New York City and I worked in the editorial world there for years. And then now I host my own
Starting point is 00:13:13 podcast where I get to interview like any I'm like, let's talk about climate change. And I'm like who's the world's best expert in climate change? And I get to like call them up and talk to them. And it's like amazing. So I've gotten to do that with the world's leading happiness experts, gut health experts, longevity experts. What's your podcast called? It's called the Liz Moody
Starting point is 00:13:29 podcast. Perfect. Easy. people can find it obviously anywhere they find podcasts anywhere they find podcasts yeah that's great yeah so there's really something for everybody if they go well so this is a huge life philosophy of mind as well which is that if we just tackle gut health on its own we just tackle longevity on its own we just tackle relationships on their own we're not going to have solutions that stick because everything is connected so like our microbiome is impacting our mental health every single moment of every single day our mental health is impacting our ability to show up in our relationships our state of our relationships is impacting our ability to succeed and thrive at work. Our ability to succeed and thrive
Starting point is 00:14:05 at work and how stress we are at work is impacting our gut microbiome because stress impacts our gut microbiome. So I'm like, we need to be talking about all of these things. It's why I wrote the book. It's why I talk about everything on the podcast because we're whole people. We're not siloed people. Why do you think it's so easy to create bad habits and not good? Like why his bad habits are fun? I don't know. That's a good answer. Bad habits are fun.
Starting point is 00:14:35 You're right. And also, okay, so I'd say there's a few things. One, bad habits are fun. Two, a lot of people make a lot of money off of us having bad habits. Fair. And a lot of people make a lot of money by keeping us in a state where we feel like our life always needs to be better. That was another hugely important thing to me in writing this book is you literally don't
Starting point is 00:14:52 need to spend any money to do any of the things in it. I so believe that we all have the tools within our. ourselves to live the lives that we want to live and that the people are like, you need to buy this, this and this. They're just like trying to make money off you. And I think there's so much marketing and it is so insidious. And we do not realize like we are taking in hundreds of messages on a daily basis about how we aren't pretty enough. We're not smart enough. We're not successful enough. We're not young enough, which is one of the most insidious ones because none of us can get younger. Like, have you tried? It's like literally impossible. And all of us are going to age. And so marketers
Starting point is 00:15:26 are like, ooh, tasty. That's so true. And I fall for that shit all the time. That's something I've worked on a lot lately is the fear of aging. Because all growing up, you know, my mom was afraid of looking older. And it was like, the older you get the less successful you're going to be. And especially in the world of like influencers and TV and being on camera and you're right. And that's so in people's faces all the time now with Instagram and social media and like, you know, the Kardashians and looking. a certain way and being a certain way, that it is easy for companies to just be like, oh, this product is anti-aging.
Starting point is 00:16:03 I'll be like, say less. Stop selling. You've already sold. I struggle with it a lot, too, because I do think the influencer world is geared towards, like, it's better to be 22 and hot than 35 and have something to say. Right. And I'm like, and people, like, want to watch that. And to each their own, I think there's room for every single person out there who wants to do their
Starting point is 00:16:25 thing on the internet, but two things. One, you add literally 7.5 years to your life if you have positive aging beliefs. Like literally 7.5 years, you will live 7.5 years longer if you have positive aging beliefs, which is insane. Like it is a true fact. It is from Becca Levy at Yale, and she's done a ton of research on this. So I have that fact in the back of my head all the time. Well, now I do. That's amazing. And so, too, I think that once you're aware of that, you become aware of how all over these negative aging messages are. There's like the greeting card that's like, you're over the hill when you're like 30.
Starting point is 00:17:02 You have your girlfriends being like, we can't go do that. We're like wives and moms now, you know? We can't go dancing. We're 38. What are you talking about? And it's like, who says you can't go dancing? Who says you can't wear that outfit?
Starting point is 00:17:12 Who says that your hair has to look? I remember I grew up my whole life with, I was like, mom, you should like grow your hair long because as a kid. And I was like, I wanted my mom to have like long pretty hair. Just like, no, you can't have long hair when you're older. Like, women have to have short hair when they're older. I'm like, who made that rule? Yeah, what silly rule?
Starting point is 00:17:28 That's like, it's just such an insane rule. And I think once you realize the insanity of it, that, like, we are literally all aging every single moment. Yeah. And that the insane amounts of energy we're spending trying to fight an inevitability. Yeah. I just think you just, like, have this little bit of a wake-up moment. But I do still, I struggle with it, too.
Starting point is 00:17:45 There's only so much Botox. I literally have a black nose right now from Botox being poked in my nose. Like, I'm, I'm, but again, I like, I like, I like feeling. young and looking young, but I also need to remind myself, and I said this in an Instagram post once, and it was like, quite profound. And I was like, I don't know if anyone said that before, but I came up with it, and I'm sure it's been said, but I was like, aging isn't scary. The alternative is. Yeah. And I was like, what am I expecting? I have to age. It's, it's, that's life and the alternative is dying. So pick which one you want. And also like, okay, so I think some of
Starting point is 00:18:18 the stuff you said, like, oh, you can't be successful as you get older or whatever. Right. You are there proof points of that in your life? Like, Have you not just gotten more successful, the older that you've gotten? I did a whole Kunalini yoga exercise the other day with this girl, Courtney, who is a godsend to me, and we did like these powerful visualizations and meditations before we did movement. And, you know, I had my hands on my heart and I'm doing this visualization. And it's like, what does your life look like in five or 10 years? Like, when you wake up, what's happening in your room and, like, where do you live?
Starting point is 00:18:47 And what people are you surrounding yourself with and what business are you doing and what impact are you making? And I said everything and she goes, now open your eyes. And she goes, you're doing all of those things right now. She goes, you said you would wake up with two golden retrievers. Like I know, as I'm like, my sweetie. She's like, you want to have important conversations on a platform that's like sharing light to the world that you want to like be learning about business and owning your wine label. Like I was seeing everything that I already have. And yet, and yet it took her taking you out of it, like giving you that.
Starting point is 00:19:20 like giving you that zoom out for you to realize it. And I feel one of my biggest, like, fears is that so many of us are missing our actual lives because we're waiting for a future life that like many components of it we have right now. And it was such a simple realization. Like I was like, well, how did I not think about that? Like, no shit, I'm doing it. Like I just said everything out loud. Because of the messaging, though.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Like literally we are taught want more, want more, want more, want different, want different, want different. And I think that we have to, our brains are going to listen to the messages. that we're given. And so our job is we need to counter those messages to ourselves. Like we cannot control what we can to a certain extent, like closing the phone down, like trying to quiet some of those voices. But we can control the messages we're giving ourselves and the things we're saying to ourselves.
Starting point is 00:20:05 And I see like Instagram as such an illusion and that I see I see so many people just trying to fit into that illusion to like to like get the likes or get. And then I find myself trying to do it. and I completely lose my authenticity from being a part of the illusion and I get mad at other people for doing it, but then I get sucked into it and doing it myself and then I have to like come out of it and it's so trippy. And again, like you said it waste so much of your life and time. And I think we're all experiencing this where we feel like there's a freaking glitch in the matrix where like time is going like that. But it's because we're not present and it's because
Starting point is 00:20:39 we're wanting more and doing everything that you just said. Yeah. I think it's a it's a real wake-up call to be like, oh, I have no time in my life. And then you go check your school. screen time. Yes. Yeah. I've been actually a lot better. I've been more present. What's better for you? I want to know. I'm curious. What's your screen time? Oh, let's look. Oh, screen three hours and 36 minutes. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Honestly, I'm impressed. Yeah. Good for you. What have you been doing instead? Reading a lot. Okay, reading is like my new obsession. I love reading. Did you know that reading activates the same part of your brain as meditating? Does it really? Yeah, so it has a lot of the same effects on your brain because you're essentially bringing your focus back to the words over and over and over and over.
Starting point is 00:21:17 again, and that's essentially what you're doing with a mindfulness meditation practice. You're letting your focus drift away because that's what it'll naturally do and then you're bringing it back. So reading's activating the same part of your brain. Well, that's amazing. You're a little meditator. I'm, I'm such a bit of it because I love meditating already. Amazing. It's so funny. I've found one meditation. It's 38 minutes. And I've never found one that speaks to me. So it's the messaging, everything that it says, I listen to it every single day,
Starting point is 00:21:40 38 minutes. Wait, which one is it? It's here. I'll just pull it up. It's on Insight timer. I love Insight Timer is probably the company I talk. about the most that will never ever pay me because it's like a meditation. Yeah, I know. I'm like, give me paid. But they have sound baths on there that I love to put on. I listen to them when I fly and I'm just like, oh, it's so good. Oh, I love a sound bath. So it's called relax, heal and manifest your dreams. Okay. I'm going to listen to it. I am obsessed with it. And it's like, and I know every word now in it because I've listened to it so many times. And each time I'm like, I don't know. It's, it's, I don't get sick of it. It helps me. I can, I can barely.
Starting point is 00:22:17 get through it at night without falling asleep. Like, it's amazing. I love it. Do you feel like it has helped you relax, heal, or manifest your dreams? Yes. Maybe not manifest my dreams just because I'm like, I already have done that. And now I'm like, my, it's so funny, 11, 11, 5 years ago to me when I saw it on a clock, what I would think of compared to now.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Like, I literally see 1111 and I just close my eyes and I say, I just want to like have inner peace and be happy, which is so crazy because it used to be like, well, I want this and I want this amount of money in my bank and I'm going to do this and I'm going to win this and it's shifted so much and I love that but also I'm like come on dream bigger Caitlin no I feel like so many people get caught in that like hamster wheel of like it's never enough it's never enough so I feel like that's amazing no I like that's where my brain is at it's just like I'm like okay but I mean that's actually was going to be my next yeah my next point is you have advice for so many categories of life so I wanted to hear what you have on success because I I'm kind of stuck in
Starting point is 00:23:12 the hamster wheel I guess right now of what's next and I hate that mentality But I also, I'm like, that's part of who I am is the ambition and the drive and I like to accomplish things and do things and it makes me happy. And I've kind of been able to slow down because I'm home now for a bit and I'm kind of getting into like a groove where I'm still busy, but I'm doing the what's next thing. So if you have any tips of like getting out of feeling stuck with success, I don't know. Yeah. Like I guess it's what what is success to you. Yeah, I think that's a huge thing. I think there's like the nitty, gritty.
Starting point is 00:23:42 A lot of the success tips in the book are like productivity and like, things that are going to help you succeed at work and make the relationships that you need to network and blah blah, blah, like all of those very pragmatic things in life. But I think that it's important to step back and be like, what are my actual goals? I have three tips at the beginning of the book. And I think they're actually really applicable when we're talking about success too. And one is like know what you're going after. Like what being clear on that. Be really clear on what we're going after here and what what do results look like in that space too? Because sometimes I think like I want to be a successful podcaster. What does that mean? Right. How many
Starting point is 00:24:16 Are you looking for a certain amount of downloads? Are you looking for certain guests to come on? Are you looking to be able to support yourself and have that be your income? I think getting really granular about what success looks like on the most microscopic level is so important. And then the other one is to do an end of one experiment. And this applies to all the tips in the book. But that's to actually track what's going on. So you're changing one thing at a time.
Starting point is 00:24:39 And then you're seeing what are the results of those changes? So if you were like, what's a goal for you right now? I would love to create a show or some sort of movement around like keep like the Barbie movie movement. Like I want to keep that going. I don't want to go backwards. I want to like do something that keeps that going, keeps the conversation going, inspires other people to feel like not only women empowerment, but like it doesn't matter where you're at in life, whether you're 22 or 52 or like still being able to like have like strong female friendships and support each other and lift one another up and like be successful and room at the table for. everybody and like show those 22 year olds that I was at one point and never had something to look up to like that. Yeah, I think that's amazing. And so I think you have this idea of like a
Starting point is 00:25:26 feeling that you want to create and like an energy that you want to create. So I think the next step would be what does that look like on a really pragmatic level? Is that bringing your podcast on a tour to a live show so people can gather in person and they can wear fun outfits and they can bring that Barbie movie energy into real life? We're doing that on my tour. We're doing like dressing in pink, orange and yellow and like friendship bracelets and all of that. And I think that, and I think that, that can be really fun does that look like some sort of like online connector group or whatever but once you know what it is then you say like how am i measuring this how am i measuring the success of that and that's an end of one experiment so the end of one experiment is essentially we have all of our like
Starting point is 00:25:59 double blind our big research backed experiments and those can be so so helpful but often you'll hear from people be like oh the research shows this probiotic works so well but i don't feel any effects or on the other side like the research shows this diet makes you feel so good but or makes you feel terrible but like I feel really good on it and like that's because we're all bio individual human beings and so different things are going to work for all of us so we need to track and measure our own success so that's the end of one experiment and then the third one of my favorites applies to every tip in the book and it applies to this too which is think about your death well you came in with like your little you know your black
Starting point is 00:26:38 fish nuts we had to talk about death at some point I am mad at my dad today we are going Gothic. But I find thinking about your death to be one of the most helpful tools to living a good life that we have and we don't do it enough because we're scared of death on a societal level. We shove it off away to where
Starting point is 00:26:57 we don't have to see it where we don't have to think about it. It's another reason I think we're so afraid of aging is because we have not made our peace at all with death. Yeah. So I think that zooming out, thinking about your dad, thinking about when you were 85 years old, like old Caitlin, what she's going to be like, I don't know why I wish I had done more of this? Now, she's going to be a vibe.
Starting point is 00:27:16 I tell you what, that, that 85-year-old woman is going to be like, you slayed, bitch. And we get such powerful information from our older selves, both in terms of what we should be doing more of. Yes, that's a dream that I definitely am going to want to have gone after. That's a risk I'm definitely going to wish that I had taken. But also, like, the shit that doesn't matter at all. That we're just, like, sitting in, dwelling in every single day. And, like, old you is like, what the fuck? Like, why the fuck were you thinking about the size of your thighs when you were out at dinner with your girlfriends?
Starting point is 00:27:49 I know. You know what? That is a powerful thing to do. And that's something when I was talking about earlier with Courtney and the Kunalini yoga and the visualizations. A big part of all the visualizations I do is my 90-year-old self. And it changes everything. Everything. And also, I have an app called We Croke. Have you heard of it? It reminds you of your death every day. What? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's got like a quote about death. Oh, my God, I love that. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. No, I absolutely love it. But also, like, would 90-year-old you be like, you should have tried to prevent aging more? Would she be like, wow, you were fucking hot then.
Starting point is 00:28:26 You should have appreciated that every single second. Both. She's going to be like, thank you for all the Botox you did. It was very preventative, but also you were hot and you should own. I just think every time I've ever looked at a picture that I didn't think was hot from like two years ago, I'm just like, you were glorious. Like, you look so good. And I try to tell myself that now because I'm like, in two years, you're going to love this picture. You're going to love it.
Starting point is 00:28:50 So just love it now. It's so true. It's so true. And, you know, we talk about our 90 older cells. But, like, what about our inner child and being 10? Because I came across one of your TikTok videos where you were talking about, like, ask yourself two questions in life to figure out your dream life. What did you do for fun at the age of 10? Inner child work has, like, been very big for me recently.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Yeah. Yeah. Like I feel like I just did this podcast episode about it's with Dr. Russell Kennedy and it's about how you can actually heal anxiety. Like he doesn't believe you can just like cope with it. All these things. I'm like, well, what about this? What about this? What about this? And he's like, those are coping methods. Those are nice. But you can heal it at a root level. And so he thinks one of the ways you do that is you give your inner child, like what your inner child didn't get. So for me, I grew up in sort of like a little bit of a traumatic situation. And so I always felt like I had to be the adult and I had to be problem solving. And I was always like trying to think my way. out of situations and the little inner child in me, and it pains me to even think about it, but she just wanted somebody to hold her and be like, it's okay. So when I'm in a stressful situation, I'm like, what's all the logic?
Starting point is 00:29:56 Like, what's all the information? I'm like, Googling, Googling, Googling. And really, I just need to like sit there and be like, I trust myself, I will be okay. You know, I've worked with my husband on that in couples therapy too, that like sometimes will, he'll be trying to solve all these problems And the most helpful thing he can do is, like, hold me and be like, you're safe.
Starting point is 00:30:14 And I'm here for you no matter what. Wow. That's beautiful. Yeah. It's really nice. That's really nice. I love that. The more busy, I guess.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Sometimes I come home and I'm like, can you just hold me like a baby? Aw, sweetness and he does it. Like, not like a baby. I just picture I'm like cradling you, like singing a lullaby. That sounds honestly so nice. That is nice. Is that like a kink of some sort? It might be a kink, but I'm kind of into it.
Starting point is 00:30:39 I might have that same kink. I'm tired of being a girona. It's true, though. You learn so much about your inner child. If you think about it, that's literally how you've been programmed through what you, that's all you knew as a child. That's how you were raised. That's like that's programming. I know. And also your other question was who do you envy envy. I thought about that today because that to me sounded like a negative thing, but it's not. It's really powerful information, I think. So I envy Taylor Swift, which is so funny because I was like. No, I did too. She's literally. I. I did a podcast with somebody where the expert was trying to help me work on my envy of Taylor Swift. Really? Yeah. I, but, so I think that the thing you have to come back to is what is Taylor Swift doing that your envy said? Because sometimes I think we're like, oh, I envy her.
Starting point is 00:31:25 I'm never going to have her life. Like, this is stupid. This is just make me feel bad. I envy her because I'm like, she is successful from being quirky. She's not like a Carrie Underwood voice. She's really worked on her voice. And like she used to be pitchy and not even that. But she's a good.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Back in her like, I'm talking like 15-year-old Taylor, 15-year-old Taylor. She's not anymore. She's perfect. She's self-deprecating. She's honest. She is the girl next door. She's down to earth. She's humble, but she's, like, so famous and, like, stays true to who she is.
Starting point is 00:31:58 And, like, is a businesswoman without people realizing she's a business woman. But you're, like, aware right now, right? That you just described yourself. Yes. Okay. That's what. Like, that is a self. But you helped me when I was doing my research for you, you helped me realize that because
Starting point is 00:32:14 that's why at first I thought envy was a bad thing, but I was like, no, I actually look up to her because I see myself and her and want to be like that. And I like that she's successful off being herself. And like she's a bunch of little things that I like to be. Well, and for me, it was the idea of being able to bring people together in this communal environment for these incredible experiences. That just feels like the most powerful thing in the world to be able to do. So I think the key to having envy work for you in your life is not just be like, I'm so jealous of that girl. Like I'm never going to have what she has, but be like, well, what does she have that you specifically want? I also think it's really powerful for jealousy to be like, unless you would
Starting point is 00:32:54 switch lives with every single part of their life, you don't get to be just wanting one part of their life. You know what I mean? I remind myself of that all the time. Yeah, like I actually don't think I'd want everyone in the world to know who I am. I think I would. stress me out to the like I don't know if I'd sleep at night so so much like I get like like go to a football game and they make the whole NFL about you I'd be like you guys are scaring me yeah I think people already feel like that with the Taylor yeah they're like they're like okay NFL you're too big for this like chill out a little bit take a knee NFL it's a lot although I you know I'm a Chiefs fan now so it worked it worked but uh Travis Kelsey
Starting point is 00:33:31 Go go go telly yeah I just I didn't the thing that I brought my attention into is like the brother story. And I just thought that was like the cutest thing. So cute. But I think that diving into what are the qualities I want, getting as specific and granular as possible. Maybe they have. And then also being like this is a proof point that these things can happen. If there's somebody that and then finding, I think it's really nice. You're like, you see this proof point that's like a hundred degrees away. If it's Taylor Swift. Can we bring it back? Can we find a proof point that's got similar qualities but then 50 degrees away? Can we find a proof point that's got similar qualities that's 20 degrees away, that five degrees away, one degree way? Can you call up
Starting point is 00:34:06 the person who's one degree away and ask them like how did you get to where you are where did these qualities come from and then you have the information that you need to start on that path yeah that i just was trying to absorb all everything you just said i'm like yes yes that's it's so true do you have you met taylor yes and she's amazing okay does she just radiate uh yes and i have a photo with her and she was she was excited to meet me because she watched the bachelorette and so it was right after that. So this was like eight years ago. Well, and speaking of all of those qualities, like I feel like you were a revelation as a
Starting point is 00:34:42 bachelor's because of those qualities because like bachelor's before you, all of them so wonderful, whatever, but just had very different personality types, you know. Yeah, yeah. Maybe Taylor still thinks about me. I bet she does. I bet she wrote a song about me once. We should try to figure out which one it is. I knew you were trouble when you walked in.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Nailed it. Nailed it. You also talk about confidence, which I think is something that Taylor has to. Like she's got this, like you said radiating. Like she's just got that thing when she walks into a room because I've been in the same room with her so I can say that. But do you have tips for confidence? Because I go through phases in my life where I'm like the most confident. I feel so good about where I'm at and who I am and the, you know, like even last night at the book club.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Like it wasn't like I had thousands of people in this book club. It was like a hundred and I don't know how many people in this book club. And it felt so important to me to have this tiny little community like talking about a book at the same time. And I felt confident in that moment. Like what are your tips for finding confidence? Because I think I could have been like, well, that was a fail. I should have had more people in that book club. But I felt really confident in like bringing those people together because it was such a unique group of women talking about this particular subject.
Starting point is 00:35:57 And I loved it. A hundred percent. I think my biggest tip about confidence is that we should, it's going to sound. contrary to what I'm going to say, but stay with me for a second. But it's that we should care about confidence less. I think that we hype it up too much. I think we're like, I need to build my confidence. What can I do to build my confidence? And in fact, we should just be putting confidence to the side entirely and saying, what actions do I want to take? Why do I feel like I need to be confident to take these actions? In general, in life, confidence is going to come from taking the actions
Starting point is 00:36:25 that we want to take to live our lives. And we sit around and wait to have the confidence to take those actions. So I would say, what would you do if you had that confidence? Do it anyway. Every single person I know who's successful is taking the steps that they want to take and they're doing it, shit scared. Like they're pee their pants scared all the time. That's what I tend to do. And I think, and I think that's literally the difference between successful people and not successful people is that not successful people sit around and they wait to feel the way that they want to feel, to feel inspired to go do the things that they dream about. But the successful people just go do it anyway. It's totally freaking out the whole time.
Starting point is 00:37:01 That's such a good point. I mean, that's, oh, anyone who listens to the podcast knows I say, do it scared. Do it scared. Constantly. 100%. And the thing is, so many people have imposter syndrome. Like, if you're not going to do it scared, somebody else is going to do it scared. They're going to feel like just as much of an imposter, but they're just going to, like, take your place.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Do you think Taylor has imposter syndrome? I absolutely do. Yeah, I think so, too. Everyone does. I think I have not met. You've met a lot of successful people. I've met a lot of successful people. I don't think I've met one who, every single successful person I've met,
Starting point is 00:37:30 sometimes feels a lack of confidence, sometimes feels imposter syndrome. I just think that that's... They just do it anyways. They just do it anyways, yeah. And by doing it, you're building those proof points for yourself that you can do it scared
Starting point is 00:37:42 and that you're resilient and that you're successful when you do it. If you, quote unquote, fail, you actually learn so much from it and the next time you've done it differently and in a better way. Well, this is never be the one to say to yourself again,
Starting point is 00:37:54 which is that sometimes the world's going to tell you no. Like, if you're like, I want to write a book, you go out to 58, agents and all of the agents say no, okay, that's good information to have. It's a huge bummer. But more than likely, one of those agents is going to tell you, yes, a thousand times more likely to happen than if you don't send it to any agents. And you have not told yourself no. Like you have said, I believe in myself. And I think that giving yourself that messaging,
Starting point is 00:38:19 to the point we're talking about earlier, we're getting so much awful messaging all of the time from the world. The simplest and best thing we can do is give ourselves the best messaging we can, I believe in you. Like, you can do this. I believe in you. That's why I think it's important for people to have like a picture of their child. Their little child, though. Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:38 In the mirror of something to be like, you know, we're talking to her too. And you could do it because what would you say to your own daughter or like somebody that, and that's you. Or your best friend. Yeah. I think, I mean, there's literal psychology and a ton of research around the idea of distancing. And just like we are too close to ourselves. So the zoom out perspective of thinking about your older self, thinking about your younger self, thinking about your best friend. Just not being inside of yourself so that you can get the distance that you need to make decisions.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Also, this is my favorite research in the book. This is from Dan Pink. I'm like pointing. I'm like, this is some of my favorite research in the book. It's from Dan Pink. He did this incredible study of tens of thousands of people about the things that they regretted the most at the end of their lives. Yes. And one of the core findings of that research was that by and large, if we take a risk, we won't regret it.
Starting point is 00:39:27 And if we take a risk and it fails, we still will regret it less than if we don't take the risk at all. That is a fact. And I think that's because we are, again, we're saying yes to ourselves. Even if the world is saying no to you, it just feels so much better to say yes to yourself. Every time I talk to somebody like you, I just like my brain goes, new tattoo. That's a new tattoo. And yet, my tattoos are so dumb. I have some really profound ones and some really dumb-ass ones.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Like, it's a mixed bag on my body. Yeah. And then I will also say, I just want to like, I've shared my never be the one to say no to yourself motto on social media. And I have gotten so many messages from people who have gotten raises they didn't think they were qualified for who are married because they asked somebody out that they thought was out of their league. The amount of success that people have found by not saying know yourself. So like sometimes you'll fail. All of the most successful people that I know fail all the time. The more times you fail, the more percentage-wise. chances you're having to actually hit success. But also sometimes the world's going to say yes. And then you're going to have rewards that you never even dreamt of. Yes. I love big dreams. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Oh, I do too. And I love little dreams. I love all dreams. Yeah, I love all dreams too. You're right. Yeah. I do too. You have a large following in the wellness space, but do you feel responsibility ever with
Starting point is 00:40:46 that or pressure towards your audience? Because sometimes I do where I think I've actually lost a bit of myself, which I want to get back, which was my humor. and I'm too scared to offend people now where before I didn't give a fuck and I am working on getting that back I'll show you a video that I did this morning that people are going to,
Starting point is 00:41:07 they're going to jump to conclusions about this one part of it but the meaning to me is something different and instead of going, oh people are going to think this, I'm going, I know what that means to me, so fuck it. Yeah, like and I want to get that back. Do you ever feel like a responsibility to like really live out everything you're saying and, you know, I just feel like having a platform
Starting point is 00:41:23 is a big responsibility. It is. So I have a few things. I would say I do feel a responsibility in terms of accuracy of information that I'm sharing. There's so much misinformation in the wellness world online. And so I am pretty meticulous about only. Everybody's an expert. Yeah. And so if I'm saying something like this with gut health or this with longevity, I'm citing somebody
Starting point is 00:41:43 who is a qualified expert and I'm citing their research. The book is meticulously cited. I just don't believe in sharing misinformation and I'm pretty anal about that. But to the other point, I don't feel out of pressure because my philosophy on wellness is that it includes cookies and it includes days where you're not working out. I love it. One of my things that I always say to my audience and to myself is that wellness is a tool. It's not an end unto itself. And the second that wellness is making your life worse, it's no longer wellness.
Starting point is 00:42:16 So if you are skipping dinners with your girlfriends because you don't want to eat out at a restaurant, if you are. not resting and relaxing because you're trying to get through all these like healthy habits on your to-do list, that's not, well, if you're waking about 5.30 in the morning because you're like, I'm healthy and you feel like crap and tired all day, probably you're fighting your natural circadian rhythm and you should be getting up later. But also that's not wellness. Like if wellness is making you feel worse, it's no longer wellness. This wellness has become such a buzzword. Yeah, a hundred percent. You know, so many buzzwords out there that people are, that's so true. There's a tip in the book that's like above all suffer less. And it's about how much wellness has become.
Starting point is 00:42:52 synonymous with suffering. Like we think that healthy food has to take like taste like garbage. And in fact, like some of the healthiest foods on the planet just make foods taste better like spices and herbs and healthy fats. And I love vegetables, which I never thought I would say because I didn't eat a vegetable until I was 20. Really? Oh my God, I love vegetables. I always have. Until I was like 20. Like beats were my favorite food as a kid. I know it's bizarre. Yeah. Did you grow up in like a household that had like grains and containers, storage containers in the pantry? Yeah. I did. It's niche.
Starting point is 00:43:23 I've got it in mine, too. Yes. We were that family. Yeah, we were not that family. We were like, I ate, like, I'd whip up my own whipped cream and then I'd add sprinkles to it and eat it with a boiled hot dog for dinner. And look at me now. So, like, the decisions you're stressing over don't matter that much.
Starting point is 00:43:39 So true. Oh, my gosh. I know everybody trying to get in all the food groups. Yeah. And I just feel like, again, if you're stressing so much that it's making your life worse, it's not wellness, zero in on how do you actually want to feel and what are the tools that you need to get you there. It's also one of the reasons I wrote the book in this format is like you don't need to read the whole thing straight through. You can flip to the section that applies to the
Starting point is 00:44:00 things that you want to tackle in your life right now. Like you're like, I want my friendships to be better. Flip to that section. You'll get five to 10 minute little sections. You can read it. That's genius. Action it. You get the science. Then you get the action tip and they can make your life better. It's like it's not meant to be consumed all at once. It's not overwhelming. It's literally just like like, like as they say user friendly, like so easy and like digestible. Well, I feel like I'm always looking for something to do in the interstitial moments of that's not scrolling on my phone. Like when you're pasta water and your pasta water.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Pasta water. When you just have like five minutes, ten minutes, and I really don't want to scroll because I just never feel better after. And so I designed the book to be used in those scenarios and you don't feel like you're, you feel like you get a whole experience in that time. Totally.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Yeah. What do you think is the most significant lesson you've learned in the wellness space? It's probably something you've already said, but if you could pick one. So I think it changes so much based on my needs. I think right now it's probably like the recent stuff that I was saying about giving my childhood self what it needs. I think sometimes we try to do all these like bows and whistles with wellness.
Starting point is 00:45:05 We're like, oh, what do I need this fancy supplement? Like you're trying to optimize that like last 5%. And I'd say, and I think this goes with the childhood self thing. But like, until you have your foundation in place, all the little bullshit you're trying to optimize for, like, doesn't matter like you're kind of wasting your time until you are like doing some sort of relaxation practice until you're sleeping well until you're eating some sort of vegetable at most of your meals you're wasting your time by me like oh well like what about this supplement versus this supplement and like should I meditate for seven minutes or nine you know what I mean I think
Starting point is 00:45:40 sometimes we get really caught in the details and for me one of the details was like I was doing all of these things to try to heal from my anxiety over the years because it's just been my constant struggle in life because from that day where I got out of bed and made a smoothie, it wasn't just like, oh, I'm cured. It was like I've taken steps every single day and built this toolkit to be in a place where I can even sit and have this conversation with you. And I still struggle with anxiety all the time. And I think it was kind of a wake up call for me to be like, it's not aschwaganda. It's not the new type of meditation. It's not even like things like Hoffman are on site, which are so incredible, although those do get at your childhood.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Yeah. But it's not all these fancy things. it's just going back to that little baby me and being like, what did you need that you didn't get? And how can I give that to you? And that's as simple. It's just like literally like holding myself a little bit. And that feels almost silly and trite in this world where we're told we need all these bells and whistles. But I think sometimes going back to the basics. Yeah. It's the back to the basics for so many things. Like even out of the wellness space, it's like going back to basics for so many things can make bigger changes. Like it can be so beneficial. Yeah. And the people who don't want you to do that are trying to sell you things.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Not to sell me. No, you're right. It's just true. That's just a fact. So you have podcasts, your new book, the card game. I love, because everybody who knows me knows a card game. I don't care what it is if it involves cards I'm in. Do you like getting to know you card games, though?
Starting point is 00:47:06 Are you like a settlers of Catan girly? Both, literally anything. Okay. Anything that if it comes on cardboard, you're into it. Yes. Okay. Anything that's like given to me on a card that's a game, I love it. I love Monopoly.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I love Menoply. I always cheat. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, I put two 500s under the board and I win every time. See, I, I, but I would say that that's how people get head in real life. So I'm really just like bringing it into the board. I'm being smart. That's funny. So anyways, I tried to find some convos from your cards, but I only found one so people
Starting point is 00:47:39 have to get the deck because it's not Googlable. If you could relive any year of your life, no changes, just living. what age would you choose and why that's a good question which i came up with yeah you did it's in the it's in the cards honestly this one i feel like i am loving life right now yeah i would have said sometime when i was a kid just for like a moment because i do i'd like to feel like taking care of and just i don't know no pressure and responsibility for a second but i feel like i've struck a really nice balance of like i have some pressure i have some responsibility but I'm also like enjoying it so, so much.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Like I'm like, I can get on a plane today and like fly to Berlin if I wanted to. I'm probably not going to, but I could. And that's just an insane thing to say. I have, you know, friends that I love, that I'm putting a lot of energy into those relationships and getting a lot of energy back. I feel like I'm getting to achieve my dreams. I just, I feel like this year's, this is the year I put a lot more emphasis on fun in my life. perfect and I'm loving that that's amazing yeah what about you or should we pull a fresh one let's
Starting point is 00:48:47 pull a fresh one let's pull a fresh one I will say 30 I remember thinking 30 was like one of my favorite years but every year I feel like gets better yeah that's an interesting proof point for not being afraid of aging isn't it yeah just gets better all the proof shows that it's just gotten better it really has and where can people find these decks and healthy convo dot CO healthy convoy dot CO you can find your books there no so that this is separate company that I run with my husband and somehow we've managed to stay together through that. Yeah, that's hard. But you can find my book at Liz Moody.
Starting point is 00:49:21 The book's at 100 Ways to Change Your Life.com and then everything else is Liz Moody.com. And the podcast is Liz Moody Podcast and I'm Liz Moody on social. I love it. Share a story about how a celebrity or someone important to you impacted your self image growing up. Oh shit. Good or bad?
Starting point is 00:49:36 Good or bad. Yeah. There's a question in the book about like share a story about something like your parents taught you about love? Like, what did you learn about love from your parents or something? And people are always like, my parents got divorced. And I'm like, my parents got divorced when I was three. I learned so much about love from their relationship. I learned so much about love from my parents' relationship. I actually give them a lot of kudos for being divorced and the kind of love that they showed and shared. But a celebrity that, like, impacted me on looks. That's anything you want. That is a very interesting
Starting point is 00:50:04 question that you pulled for me personally. I would say, Pamela Anderson, which is so interesting. Yeah. It's so, I mean, her moment right now I'm loving. Her moment, I'm obsessed. So, you know, that was the girl on every guy that I had a crush on on their wall with the big fake boobs and the perfect tan type body and no cellulite and blonde hair and big lips and all the things. And I always thought you had to be like super sexy and sexual and like that to be desired. And that that's what all guys like, which is so interesting now because she is now how old. I'm not sure, but she is going to Paris Fashion Week without an ounce of makeup on and she is living her truth and I watched a documentary on her where before like when I was all insecure in my teens I probably would have just watched that with pure jealousy and been like I'm not anything that, that's not me at all
Starting point is 00:51:00 and now I watch her documentaries with so much respect for her of what she's gone through and the pressures she had on herself and now she's how she's living her truth now and she's actually inspiring the shit out of me now. Yeah, I completely agree. I love what she's doing right. now. And isn't it so interesting? I watch her documentary too. It is so interesting that all of the people that we pedestalize on a societal level are like really struggling with the exact things
Starting point is 00:51:23 that we're pedestalizing them about. Yeah. Like she was struggling with her appearance so much because everybody else was pinning so much of their own thoughts and perceptions and desires and hopes on her appearance. Yeah. And that's what they were making her feel like that was her self-worth for her appearance. Oh my gosh. That's that is something that I feel better about with aging. is that because I was always, like, I think I'm attractive, but I was never, like, my looks are my only thing. My parents growing up, I don't think they told me that I was cute or, like, good looking one time. It was always like, you're smart, you're funny, whatever, which gave me a little bit of a complex later because I was like, am I? Am I good-looking?
Starting point is 00:52:02 Wait a minute. But I do think that if you put everything into your looks, and I've seen this with models and actresses and things like that as they get older, it's really scary. to see your looks change, especially because as a society, we are not as good as we should be yet at celebrating looks of all different ages. And I love what Pamela Anderson is doing for that right now. It's, I mean, it's giving me life. And it's inspiring the hell out of me. I love it so much. I love that you pick that card for me. But I mean, that's the coolest part is you can, you know, you can bring that to dinner. You can go out to dinner. You can bring it to parties. You can bring into bachelorette parties. You have different categories for each, like we have a
Starting point is 00:52:38 ranchier together deck, which is for bachelette parties. We have a working together deck, which is for genius don't switch them don't screw those up the the bachelor at one has like a giraffe doing a pole dance on the front cover so you can't you can't really screw that up mix them up yeah I love that so much I requested that
Starting point is 00:52:56 specifically I was like I need a blink and winking and I need a giraffe on a stripper pole and my defender's like okay you're like I've got a vision don't question me don't question me okay quick game to finish the podcast it's called Ways to Lighten the Moody Yes. Yes. Alicia, we did it. We got a laugh. It's a belly laugh, too. Okay, I have a list of common situational moods I've had, and I think others can probably relate to, and you can give a wellness tip for each one. Okay. Okay, so a stressful commute. Oh. Commute. Okay, so.
Starting point is 00:53:32 I read it commute, and then I was like, it's commute. She's Canadian. Alicia. That's how they say it up north. Mantra. I literally think. picked up a llama and I was like, look, the lamba. Oh, my God. Okay. So I will say first that research shows that one of these single best ways to spend your money is to shorten your commute. To make your commute into a walking or biking commute is one of the best things that you can do with your money. We think, like, buy the car, buy the big house, whatever, but in fact, putting our home closer to our office massively impacts our happiness level. So that's the first thing that I would say. The second thing that I would say is it's sort of a version of temptation
Starting point is 00:54:08 bundling, which is a tip in the book from Dr. Katie Milkman. She's at Wharton. And it's basically to put something that you hate with something that you really, really enjoy. And then it makes you more likely to do the thing that you hate. So I use it for working out, which I despise. But I save my very favorite podcast for when I'm working out so that I can only listen to them when I work out and then I'm more likely to work out because I don't want to miss out on my favorite podcast. I love that thought. Oh, it works for anything that you like dread that you procrastinate on that you don't want to do. So temptation bundle those things.
Starting point is 00:54:39 So I would say temptation bundle your commute. Save some of your favorite podcasts, your favorite songs, the stuff that you really, really like, save it for your commute so you can start to like build those happy memory associations. I love that. Yeah. Ooh, I love that a lot. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:53 The Sunday Scaries. Oh, the Sunday Scaries are, I've been, I want to do a podcast on the Sunday Scaries because I do think they impact all of us. So I would say give yourself a little treat on Sunday, like something that. How about this? I think a nice thing to do on Sunday is to look ahead at your week, get some plans in place so that you aren't overwhelmed. I think a lot of the unknowiness is what overwhelms us for the week.
Starting point is 00:55:17 So like what's coming up, what's on the schedule, how can I prepare for it the best that I can? And then I would give yourself a little treat both on Sunday and then a treat in the form of a social interaction on Monday. So whether it's like a walk with a friend or even like sometimes I do workouts with my friends where we will work out to get like we'll put the phones up. and we'll do a little virtual workouts together or something like that. But I'd have some sort of social interaction to look forward to on Monday
Starting point is 00:55:42 because there's so much research that shows that one of the top things that impacts our happiness levels is our community and our social interactions and our relationships. But we act like they're the last thing that we should do. Like they're the thing that we earn after we go through our entire to-do list. They're the thing that like gets the short end of the stick every single time. Same with Monday. Poor Monday gets such a bad rep.
Starting point is 00:56:03 It really does. Add a treat in there. Yeah. And also, like, it's a fresh week. So there's a tip in the book called the Fresh Start Effect, which I absolutely love. And it's the idea that we view ourselves in this, like, narrative form. And every time you have a fresh start, you're sort of turning the page, you're starting a new chapter, and you're kind of a new person. So you're more likely to be able to stick to new habits.
Starting point is 00:56:24 So like a New Year's Eve is a fresh start. And that's one of the reasons we all make goals and resolutions. And it's kind of like a bullshit thing. But also, you're literally more likely to stick to your goals if you start them on New Year's Eve than if you start them any of. other day because you view yourself as a different person on the new year than you were the day before the new year so on a Monday you view yourself as a different person than you were the previous week so you can view it as a new opportunity that's actually a great way thank you for taking me to this welcome that's a great way to beat the sunday scurries is to be like the person
Starting point is 00:56:56 i was last week is no longer i can be whoever i want this week and it's just like bright and shiny new opportunity you can have whatever habits you want to have you can have whatever mindset you want to have, you can be the version of yourself that you want to be this week because you have a fresh, new, shiny week to kick it off with. I like it. Yeah. I like it a lot. What about when you're stressing and depressy while I'm PMS-y?
Starting point is 00:57:17 Okay. So first of all, I would encourage you, are you working with a hormone doctor? Yes. Okay. I have. I'm not in this moment, but I have, and it has helped. Okay. So I will say a lot of women, because we are taught that our suffering doesn't matter on a societal
Starting point is 00:57:31 level are pretty dismissive of actually getting medical help for things that do have real medical treatments for. So I would encourage anybody who is having PMS should not be a life-ruining thing and for a lot of women and it unfortunately is and there are treatments and help for that. So I'd say number one, go find a hormone doctor, get your hormone levels tested and work with professional on that. Do a really simple one is eat carbs, eating carbs before your period. I did ask the doctor with a hormone doctor on my podcast. It's called Ask the Doctor, hormone addition. And one of the things she says is if you eat carbs before your period, it helps alleviate the symptoms of PMS. It actually helps release serotonin in your body.
Starting point is 00:58:09 I love carbs. I really do. I mean, also, like your body's telling you eat carbs, right? Like when you're PMS. I can't survive without carbs. I mean, I just, yeah. You literally. Yeah. I don't know why. Carbs in Monday. They get a bad rap. Yeah. No. Carbs do not have a bad rap in my book. Yeah. I love carbs. Also, if you have cramps, magnesium glycinate, the best thing in the world. Really? Yeah, I love it. I get crippling cramps. Oh, it helps so much. Like I almost throw up sometimes from the pain. Like use under the care of a doctor, like talk to your doctor about anything, whatever, but like it helps so much. Okay. Also migraines. Okay. Last one, scrolling and comparing. Ruthlessly, ruthlessly clean up your feet. I think sometimes we are like, that person's inspiring me.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Like, I see them and I want their body. I want their life. I'm getting some sort of inspiration from this. It's like, no, they're not. Like literally, you can find somebody else who is actually inspiring. you. Get them off your feed immediately. Also, focus on the people in your real life. I just think the more that we are online in our real lives and offline in our social media lives, the better that we feel generally. And then third, I would say, do something for somebody else. Whether it's giving them advice, whether it is helping them out with a favor, doing stuff for other people reminds us of our own qualities that matter and that are important in the world. And I think they can be a really great way to build our own self-esteem, like a very pragmatic way to build our self-esteem. It's to be like, I'm going to do something for somebody. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:59:37 you're so right. I do. I've done it and it feels good. Yeah. At one time, I did something nice for somebody. This one time I did that and you're right. It did feel good. I should probably do that more. Oh my God. I love this conversation so much. I honestly, like, this has been just one of my favorite conversations just because I know my listeners and I know there are so many of them are like me, and they'll take away so much from this conversation. So thank you for coming here. Thank you so much for having me. And for sharing all of your little tidbits of knowledge with us. And there's a couple like aha moments for me in there. So thank you. Tattooes. Oh, tattoos. I thought you said cashews. I'm like, sure. I'm a little
Starting point is 01:00:14 hungry. I try to get like a few tattoos an episode, you know. Yes, you did. I think I've got five. Okay, great. Wonderful. So we're good there. Thank you so much. And we'll put on in the notes and stuff where people can find all of your stuff. And then obviously we said it in the podcast as well. Perfect. Thank you. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday. Investigate crimes with Dateline 24-7 and Unsolved Mysteries. With thousands of free crime movies and TV shows, Pluto TV is the true home of crime.
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