Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Lo Part 1

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

Kaitlyn welcomes the one and only Lo Von Rumpf back on the pod with a salmon dinner and a toaster fire! Lo shares with Kaitlyn some of the troubles he faced with other kids in school for dressing differently, hanging out in the teacher’s lounge and becoming the school’s first “conflict manager” during recess. Later, they compare AIM screen names, discuss Ellen DeGeneres drama and share confessions!     GEICO - Go to geico.com, and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance COORS LITE – Reach for the one beer that’s made to chill. EXPRESS – Text VINE to 397-737 to receive $25 off your purchase SHIPSTATION – Try ShipStation FREE for 60 days when you use offer code VINE at ShipStation.com  HOME DEPOT – You can save even more on the styles you love when you use code OFFTHEVINE10 at checkoutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Grab a coffee and discover non-stop action with Bud MGM Casino.

Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of one with Multi-Drop. Once even more options, play our wide variety of table games. Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills only available at BetMGM. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with eye gaming ontario this week's off the vine is sponsored by geico go to guyco dot com and in 15 minutes you could be saving 15 percent or more on car insurance extra money in your pocket it just may be the most rewarding to do you do today coors these days everything's go go go go nonstop hustle has taken over it's kind of a lot if the pace of things is wearing you down take a moment pause refresh yourself and when you choose to turn off, reach for the one beer that's made to chill. Express. Express is all new and all about you with a fresh assortment of casual, versatile, and super comfortable styles.

Express is a brand that encourages people to dream big and dress accordingly by providing a curated edit of high quality pieces for your day, night, and everything in between. Text Vine to 397-7 to receive $25 off your first purchase. Ship Station, it's the number one choice of online sellers. you'll ship more and less time with the best rates available. And right now, off the Vine listeners can try ShipStation free for 60 days when you use offer code Vine. Just visit ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in Vine. Shipstation.com, make ship happen. And the Home Depot.

Shop today and you'll get free and flexible delivery with easy returns. Plus, for a limited time, you can save even more on the styles that you love when you use code off the Vine 10 at checkout. Find exactly what you're looking for and more at homedepo.com slash decor. Valid on select items online only. Free delivery on select items, $45 or more. Visit home depot.com for more information. Who's that with OTV? Who's that with OTV?

Who's that with OTV? Podcast One presents off The Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Get ready for long. Lots of last, taboo topics, on filtered advice, and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin.

We're recording. We don't have headphones. It smells like fire. It does. It smells like, it smells like, um, like a, like a burnt paper. That's what it is. That's what it is. Um, Lowe's very impressed with me right now.

By the way, special treat for the Vino's, Lowe's on the podcast again. I don't even need to introduce you anymore. They just hear, like, your voice. They go, hey. And they're like, Lowe. Cheers, Lowe. Cheers to us, to you being in L.A., you queen, you star on the dance floor. Dancing with the washed-up star.

Dancing with beautiful queens. That Spade and Sparrow hits the spot. Every time. Spadensparos.com. Swipe up. Get yours today. Um, it truly does smell like we burnt something in here, but I love that. I love the smell of burnt anything. Why don't you tell everybody what I burnt tonight, starting with the salmon? Oh, okay. So you prepared a delicious miso salmon in the oven. Yeah. Nice and blackened. Oh. Oh.

The toaster The toaster just pumped We'll tell you what So it smelled like burnt salmon in here Which I enjoy that It was delicious by the way You did that with quino I feel like it was a true miso

flavoring that was just You know like You know when like something is stuck on the bottom It's called like glazing the pan or something Yeah Yeah that's what I was doing Oh yeah perfect A miso glaze

A miso chard glaze glaze, chim churry sauce, if you will. And then you, oh, so it smells like salmon in here. Your hair smells like salmon. Yeah, it does. The whole place smells. I finally washed my hair after 86 years. And then I, it now smells like salmon.

But I continued the burning trend. I wanted candles as did Caitlin. And I thought it was so crazy because you don't have any matches or lighter in here. Yeah. And you go, I'm going to make fire happen. And I looked at you like you were nuts. I didn't believe that you did it. And you didn't believe.

Well, I thought you'd light your whole place on fire. I almost did. You did. Hey, it's not my place. So she stuck a paper towel into the toaster. Yeah. Lit it on fire. Lit it up.

And then took that paper flaming paper towel, put it right onto the candle. Lavender vanilla. And now we're sitting nice with a delicious Myers target candle. But really, it doesn't smell like candle. in here at all because all it smells like is burning paper towel like I'm waiting for the fire um what is that thing called fire alarm alarm to go off yeah yeah anyways it smells wonderful hey quick question for you quick cue did you know that right now guyco is offering an extra 15% credit on car motorcycle and RV policies that's 15% on top of the money guyco could already save you so what are you waiting for

your dog to make you breakfast in bed with belgium waffles and a fresh fruit compost As nice as that sounds, that's probably never going to happen. But at least there's never been a better time to switch to Geico. Save an extra 15% when you switch by October 7th. Visit geico.com to learn more. I think, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I got you into Big Brother tonight. You did. I've never seen an episode, although I did interview a couple people with you in the past.

Yeah, you were with me. You interviewed Tommy. Tommy, who is everything. Love him. So sad. He's not on All-Stars. And Holly, Holly is just so lovely and down earth and who knows what happened, but they broke up. Did you know that?

No. I'm shocked. Spoiler. Truly shook to the core. We thought they would last. Forever and never. Damn. Day 112 halls is what he would always say.

Anyways, for people who don't watch Big Brother, they are like shutting this podcast off. I didn't watch it either. And there's been like 50 seasons. But tonight I watched 30 minutes and I thoroughly, or an hour. and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Was it because I was screaming at the top of my lungs? You were so into it that it was fun, which made me want to get into it.

I mean, I can't believe Nicole A went home. Oh, my God. It's shocking. Her poor glasses are fogging up. Don't make me cry. The innocence. She literally was put on.

I want to go on that show. Jason and I literally got so teary-eyed because when Nicole went into the house, she was like, she's always known as like the dork, but really she's just a sweet angel who just is really she's just different in like the best unique way ever I just love her I'm such a fan and she had her glasses on in her mask and she went to talk to Julie Chen she's actually about to tear up right now and her glasses fogged and it made me so sad she took off her glasses because she's like they're fogging in the blind interview

it made me sad oh my god anyways really kills me. I wanted to do a podcast diving into a little bit more about who Lowe truly is. Oh, Lord. Because we really, like, we know, we know and love Lowe. Am I a little bit buzzed? Maybe. Just a tad. Just like the perfect amount. Yeah. That's like the classy amount of buzz. Yeah, like not fucked up, but like. You could still give a wedding speech, but you shouldn't drive home. Wow. That is the kind of drunk I always want to be. I could give a good wedding speech, but I wouldn't drive home. Amen, sister.

Did you just think of that? The you need to be a stand-up comedian. No, God, no. You do. The delivery, the timing, everything is just so perfect. Anyways, I'm in L.A. I went to COVID Island today. Oh, yeah.

What was that? Long Beach. There's a lot of COVID cases happening in Long Beach. That's so shitty. I mean, I'm not going to. I was really impressed with people wearing masks at the beach today. Yeah. But I just took ramen for a few swims.

Oh, he actually went into the water. Oh, yeah. He lives for the water. How cute is that? Do you go in with him? Yeah, because I had to pee. Oh, wow. What?

You never peed in the ocean before? No, I'm down to, I pooped in the ocean, too. Damn it all. But I just, the water's, I don't know. It was glorious. Was it? Yeah. I just think of, okay, I think of all the semen and like.

Think of how much water is in that, that ocean. Everything is. I just think oceans are so nasty. A swimming pool is way more nasty than an ocean. I don't believe that because chlorine kills all of the germs. I've got a fact for you, my friend. You know what? It's not even fair, though, for me to say it because I just watched this documentary on

Trash Island. Have you seen that? What? Oh my God. There's an island made of trash. out there, you guys. It's freaking disgusting. Is that for real?

Yeah. It's huge. It's a giant, all of the trash in the world goes to this big, freaking island. And they make a trash island. People go to it? I mean, no. No one wants to go to that. But it's out there.

You can see it on a map. It's pretty insane. And they just show how polluted our waters are and stuff. But anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed your swim. While I was part of the pollution. Okay, but here's a fun fact. Chlorine doesn't kill urine. Oh, it doesn't.

NBC medical correspondent Dr. John Torres told Rosson that chlorine smell that you get in the pool. It's actually urine mixed with the chlorine you're getting the smell from. So experts say there's only one way to get rid of it. Empty all the water out and refill the pool. How many times do you think pools do that? Oh, yeah. Never. Yeah.

The ocean is constantly just, I mean it's huge you dump one little nut in their semen and it's gone and she gone yeah no it's okay it's okay but I did take a little dip I truly had to pee and I was like

everybody knows I'm doing it everybody I was in there you know my pants were wet and I was throwing the ball and then I was like you know what took my pants off had bathing seat bottoms off you started to pee your pants they were wet from your own no no no they were wet from the waves splashing and then I and then I went and took all my pants I had bathing seat bottoms under and then I just casually went in just up to my belly button yeah and then I was

done yeah pee away pee away pee away pee away I love enia so much does anyone know the lyrics Such a beautiful song. Every time I hold crystals, I sing that song. Oh, yeah. It's good stuff. Anyways, I want to know more about Lowe. Well, I mean, is it both of our childhoods? Yeah, let's like dive into childhoods.

Okay, because I want to hear a little about yours, a little bit, hear a little bit about yours too. Yeah. Are you just saying that so that. Just trying to be nice. So that this podcast isn't all about you because I wanted to be all about you. Okay. You can be. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, let's do it. Just tell us in like a few words, what kind of kid was low? Okay, so, well, I'm an only child. Okay. I'll start off with that. What does that mean? Like, I mean, I know it means your dengue siblings, but does it mean something due to your character?

Well, I will say that there's a pre-disposition that people have about only children being selfish. They can't share. They usually are narcissistic and all of those are true. Guilty. Guilty-ass charge. No, I always say that even though those are the stereotypes about only children, I don't have those things. Just because I grew up with so many cousins, a ton. I have a huge family.

Yeah, you do have a big family. Yeah. So my dad's one of 17. Oh, pardon? Yeah. Did I know this? No, I didn't. I don't think so.

Well, surprise. We're like rabbit. 17 big ass family so where i need yeah all of those uh children of 17 had at least four to five seven eight kids there's just a lot i think there's like 60 are they all in your area uh actually because it's a military family they're all over the world okay uh but there are a lot here too wow because your dad's originally from germany right uh no my dad grew up here my dad grew up in orange county my grandparents My grandpa came from Germany.

Okay. And my mom is, both my parents were born here. So I'm just about second generation. Okay. I can't get over that. One of 17, imagine having 16 siblings. Sick. Gross.

It's a lot. You would get no attention either. They were so poor. You can't grow up wealthy with 17 kids. No. It was tough. How do you also feel like, okay. Okay, wait, that's crazy.

Your dad was one of 17, and then he had an only child. Intentionally. Yeah. It was done with all the kids. He couldn't handle. He was like, I'm good. And then you get to grow up with enough cousins, so you still get your, yeah. The time that I had individually with my parents was like awesome.

Yeah. Oh, man, because I felt like I was always sharing my parents with everybody. Totally. Because everyone else had a ton of siblings. So my mom and dad were like, oh, drop them off with my parent, Lawrence and Sally. And they'll take care of all of the misfit kids. Oh, my gosh. Wait, I can't admit.

I'm still stuck on the one of 17. When my podcast eventually does come out, you can't, like, I can't wait for you to hear my dad's episode. He talks about how he grew up. It's insane. It was like, terrible. Oh, my God. Well, I can't even imagine.

I did actually a secret podcast with my dad, which I don't think I'm going to air because I just really wanted to like interview him and know more about him. And it was. Oh, how nice that you have that saved. Honestly, I cried today. because I was going to delete some files and I just was like listening to each one and my dad

I'm going to cry right now oh my guy loves him so much he literally said oh can I record this too why does that make me want to cry because it's like the sweetest your dad's so he's like unassuming about it you just wants to have that memory too

so when I'd ask him a question he knew I was like going to interview him so he had notes oh I can't I'm going to cry I'm going to cry I love my dad so much. Okay. Anyways, my dad was, my dad was one of six and I thought that was crazy. Yeah. I mean, that's big too. 17 is, I mean, they're Roman Catholic. Don't believe obviously in contraceptives. They're like rabbits. Yeah. No sets of twins. They're all individual. I think 11 boys, six girls, something like that. Wow, wow, wow. Big ass family. So God bless his mother. I know. She was that shit crazy. But, hey, who wouldn't be?

That's it crazy with a wide set vagina. Oh, right? Sorry. Like my grandma. I'm sorry. Your grandma has a white set vagina. The only reason I said that is because it's a line from mean girls. Yeah, by number 13, they're just falling out of her.

Yeah, twirling a cane on the way out. Just one comes out. Eye kicks. Yeah, I kicks. Somersault. But seriously, God bless that woman. Anyways, okay, so you still, you grew up feeling like you had siblings because you had so much family. So I just, I always like to get that out of the, like, yeah, like, because they're, because of all the, but, but you know what?

Good for those only children too. Sure. Yeah. All right. Let's take a break. We all know that summer looks a bit different this year. We're not doing everything we typically do during the summertime, you know, the music festivals, weddings, brunch. But just because our summer plans have changed doesn't mean summer's canceled.

summer is still out there we just have to work a little bit harder to make our summer moments happen and coer's light wants to be right there with you by making it easier to chill this summer starting with its new summer can featuring sunglasses that turn blue when the beer is cold and ready to drink seriously i'm obsessed with those cans they're so cool oh that's a bad joke coors light is the perfect beverage to grab when you want to enjoy your summer and chill out even when social distancing is a thing it's made for the moments you choose choose to turn off and relax, which is super important to do even when life looks a little different. Actually, especially when life looks a little different.

Coorslight is brewed with a three-step cold process, cold loggered, cold filtered, and cold packaged, so it's actually made to chill. I love grabbing a Coors Light on the weekends just during my downtime when I have some time to spend outside by the pool. It's a great way to kick back and relax and enjoy summer, even if you plan to summer differently. That's why Coors Light is the one I choose when I need a moment of chill. So when you want to reset this summer, reach for the beer that's made to chill. You can have Coorslight delivered by going to get.coorslight.com and finding local delivery options near you.

Celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Were you shy? Were you outgoing? Were you funny? Came out wanting to perform. Born a stock. Samezies. I was like. Such a ham.

Oh, I was such a happy. Okay. Now, were you like that just with family or with everyone in life? Everybody. I was not shy. Although I did get bullied severely as a kid. No. I dealt with that, which...

Why? I always felt like I never... Actually, even today, like, as I'm 30, I still feel that. I've felt in my whole life. But I, especially as a kid, I felt so ostracized because I felt like I was so, like, the odd ball. I never related to the kids. And I know why I'm extremely close to my parents.

Like, I've always been very, very close. close with both of them. But as an only child, yeah, I had a ton of cousins, but the core time that I had was with my parents. I was listening to The Carpenters. I was listening to the Bee Gees, Earth went in fire, lots of Michael Jackson. And the references that I always wanted to be older than I was. So when I was like, I don't know, 10 years old, I was wanting to, you know, have a martini

and pretend I was like, you know, a grown adult. So you were just ahead of your time. Way too ahead of my time. So much so that the kids. like you're weird you're okay but now don't you wish you could go tell your younger self that you're not weird you're unique and ahead of your time and you're like a classic boogie bitch yeah I wish I know God because how great is it to be different I know I know I love being like a whack a doodle like I am weird it's yeah but you've always embraced

it you didn't feel like you didn't get bullied as a kid for being a little weird um I I always got bullied for everyone thought I was like two years old when I was like 10 because I was so small. I always got bullied for being like so tiny. Got it. Yeah. And they're always like like like guys would always be like, ooh, we would date Caitlin, but she's like too little. A little preemie. So stupid.

There's always something. People are going to feel bullied for growing up. Like you're either to this, to that, not enough this, not enough that. Actually, that lasts your whole life. Yeah. But I feel like everybody is so unique. So whether you're like super shy, you're going to be like, oh, I wish I was outgoing. And when you're super outgoing, you're like, oh, people wish I was this.

Like you have to just like cherish who you are as a human being and be like, there's no other me in the world. Yeah. You're your own. Yeah. Human. And weird or not, who cares? I love the weird.

The weird or the better. Yeah. That's what I always say. just set it for the first time right now. I remember I went to kindergarten. My mom always sells me this story. And I vaguely remember, but she has it, of course, down. But she said that, she let me pick out my outfit.

We didn't have uniforms in kindergarten. And I so badly, I mean, I think I had watched like something with like a Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. And mixed with blossom. Yeah. So I had, basically I had this crazy, like, loud pink shirt. And I had like overall. in like two different colored shoes

and I really wanted to carry a purse. Oh my God, I die. Why does that make me want to cry? And I... You were just being yourself. I was so excited for my school outfit. I thought it was the coolest outfit ever. The kids didn't think so.

I remember for anyone that has kids out there, like it is such... It could be a really brutal world for kids, right? Especially, I mean, if it was hard then, I think it's even more difficult now. Of course. Anyway, they didn't like my purse. they know what he liked

I was I remember the kids being like that's for girls and it all I started hearing that already and I was like what and I was like celebrated at home like look at you Mr. Style

and then I went to school and they're like oh I was like oh this is a rude awakening low I would hurt a child if I heard them call

another human being that word and any kind of nasty word like a something that was trying to be like, like that is not okay. I got, but I will say the bullying that I had as a kid, I had real tough skin.

So it's almost was a blessing. Yeah. Because I did get like so bullied that. Oh, and it didn't help that like I was always the teacher's pet. Like it got so bad. You were actually thriving and living your best life, but nobody else could understand that.

No, they did not at all. The girls, see, Because I wasn't a girl, so I couldn't fit in with the girls, even though, like, of course, they would have loved me if they gave me a chance. Yeah, bitches. And I definitely couldn't fit in with the guys. So I hung out with the teachers.

It got so bad with the bullying that my teachers would have me eat in the teachers' lounge with them. Wait, that makes me want to cry. And I would love, no, I mean. It shaped you. I loved it. I mean, I got real close with my teachers. We'd like have, I was having my little knee swat salad. I was, you know.

I was living. And I'm like, I'm not eating lunchebles with those common, commoners, those common kids. You were having a tuna nisla salad with the teachers while the kids were eating their peanut butter and jelly. Yeah. Oh, and I love. So I remember this was like fifth grade and the bullying just kept on. And I remember it was so bad at school. But then I'd go home and I actually loved it.

I would always perform and put on shows with my cousins. Of course, I always made them backup dancers. Yeah. Yeah, you're the show. Only one Beyonce up in this family. My cousin still resents me. She was like, why couldn't I ever be Mariah? Like, you always made me be the backup sailor dancer.

You were Beyonce. Everyone else was Destiny's Child. Yeah, not even a Kelly. You're a Michelle today. Oh. So, oh. To bounce. So I love being home and then at school, but I remember this teacher was like

at a parent teacher conference. which was like, he's getting bullied and stuff. So they came up with this amazing idea, the worst, actually. I knew it. They said, we're going to create a position for Little Lowe on our campus, and because he's getting bullied. Little Lowe, I love him so much. We're going to create something special for him, a special role so that he can be on

the playground with the other kids, and he's not bullied. We're going to make him a conflict manager, and it's a new position in his role is to go around to all the different kids and if he sees a conflict he'll have a clipboard and he's going to ask them questions and if they resolve it they'll get a star and then the teachers whoever has the most stars at the end of the week a conflict cowboy uh get your ass kicked cowboy is what that was because i'd go up to kids and i'd be like it seems like you guys might have a problem they hated it so much these kids were like get out of here you're they made me basically like a little teacher and what kid wants to play with that like if I was

ostracized before that just sealed the deal I mean I had kids that were just like you're the worst we hate you I mean they hated me because no no one wanted to seems like Solve problem. Y'all not from around here, are you? They were not feeling it at all. This reminds me when, like, if they, if you came up and said that and you were like, seems like, y'all got a problem here. And you were like, had your little clipboard and your little purr.

And they were like, you thought you were going to get this like role of, you know, you're feeling empowered. Like you were going to help. And they were just these assholes. Yeah, they wanted nothing to do with me at all. They were, it actually made the bullying worse. So that was my adolescence, but I did such. Her hair and she comes in that one scene, you know, that she looks at the town people, and she says,

you, you get out of here. Kristen, wave, Will Ferrell. Yep. Such a good. That's what I picture, you walking up with your little clipboard and all the kids going, me, you get out of here. We should do that skit right now. I would love it.

So anyways, you have to copy what I'm saying. Oh. So anyways. No, not yet. It's tough. You have to, we're telling a story together. It's so tough. It's two Beyonce is trying to do it, but let's try.

Okay. So we were on the podcast. playground and these fucking kids came up and they said get your

clipboard out of my face you get out of me get out of me get out hey two Beyonce's

not working no we were both we tried we were both trying to lead it. Yeah, that's the problem. And you know what? That's going to be my problem on dancing with the stars.

I can't even imagine. Whoever my partner is going to be like, you get out here. And then at the same time, I'll be like, yeah, I say it first. Caitlin, I feel better leading. So just follow my steps. I can't breathe. This is why I always have the best time podcasting with you because I feel like I'm high. Like, I feel like I just podcasting.

opt into edible and that I'm just like high on life. We should do a podcast after taking an edible. That would be a really interesting one. People would worry about me. That's true. They'd go, this isn't funny. This is sad. Because I would just be doing this all time.

Well, who knows? Maybe we'd have like some crazy, deep philosophical question. I genuinely just choked. All right. Let's talk about Express. Express is all new and all about you with a fresh assortment casual, versatile, and super comfortable styles. Express is a brand that encourages people to dream big and dress accordingly by providing a curated edit of high quality pieces for day, night,

and everything in between. Feeling confident and comfortable in your clothes is a must for me. I know that when I'm not feeling my best or I'm just not loving my outfit, that tends to affect everything around me. And when I'm feeling good in my clothes, I'm able to focus on what I need to get done. I love that Express is super comfortable and their clothes, are also really high quality. They're also really versatile, so you can get a few different pieces to dress up or down,

depending on the occasion. Express has expanded beyond their occasion ready dresses and suits to now include more casual looks, which includes casual styles and trending pieces that are classic and wearable for all different body types and lifestyles. A lot of their pieces are trendy yet classic, so you don't have to worry about things going out of style.

They also have lots of different fabrics, design, details, and prints to choose from. I'm personally a big fan of a bold print to add to some more neutral pieces to change things up. Express also has an ongoing fundraiser initiative powered by GoFundMe called the Dream Big Project. It's a really amazing mission to empower people to go for their dreams. Right now, Express is supporting GoFundMe's Small Business Relief Fund to help those impacted by COVID-19. I love how they stand for empowerment and going after your goals. It's really cool.

And you can follow Express on Instagram at Express for Style Inspiration, tips, and so much more. Right now, you can text Vine to 397-737 to receive $25 off your purchase. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Have you ever heard that? I can't. Oh, wait. Which one?

Okay. My sister and I, when we were younger, we used to, like, we used to have giggle attacks, and I would always, okay, you know, did your parents ever have, like, the fluffy cover on the toilet seat? Like, it was, like, a rug on top of the toilet seat. My grandma had it. Yeah. I loved it.

Okay. My sister and I used to always take it off, and we'd sit on it with bare, butt cheeks and toot and it would sound like a duck anyways and we would laugh so hard and then we'd have these like sleepovers where we like literally couldn't stop laughing

but anyways I found this TikTok and I sent it to my sister I was like this was us because it literally says slumber parties circa 2008 and everyone's like trying not to laugh and the parents come in going like you be quiet and they say something stupid and you just can't

stop laughing Abund de la caca Abund de la caca I can't. That's so accurate for people that had siblings. I made that joke with myself. Just throwing salt in the wound. Don't you remember having a sibling and laughing?

My sister and I just laughed so hard because we have sleepovers every night because we were sisters. I'm still super close. Oh my God. My stomach has a stitch from laughing. Okay. So what was your favorite cereal? But for real. 90s breakfast food in general or favorite cereal growing up.

I mean, I do love me. First of all, let me just go back and just say that I love you so much more for the story. You just told me about who you were as a child. Thank you. It makes me genuinely love you so much more. I didn't think I could love you more, but I really do. Oh, that makes my heart feel so good. Because you were just you.

You were just you. And that's all you needed to be. Yeah. Yeah. I think I, I kind of kept that until today. Like, I feel like that kind of made me, I kept that philosophy going because I was, you know, until I got into adulthood. Because now you're like, I make a fucking career off being me now. Yeah.

And picking out purses. You. Wow. Full circle moment. A little circle moment. Yeah. We both just got more comfortable in our chair. No, yeah, but who would have thought being my weird self and, and loving.

fashion in purses and stuff would end up turning into a career. Yeah. Follow your dreams, kids. You followed your little black soul. Yeah, I really did. Yeah. But yeah, but I mean, I don't want it to seem like my childhood was terrible because I was great. No, it sounded lovely.

It just sounded like the other kids at school were assholes and that you lived your best life. Yeah. Sorry. Salmon and white wine. We'll get you. Okay. Oh, are we favorite foods? Right.

90s? Like cereal, would you eat before school? So I didn't grow up with like, some people grew up with like a super like organic, healthy house. My mom like loved a good lunchable. Yeah. I love spam. Like the ham in a can?

Sure. I don't even know if it's ham. It could be, it's I think a mixture of like horse, pig, goat. I don't know. Perhaps a little seal. I don't know what's in. No. I have no idea what's in spam.

I hope they're not a sponsor. Sorry, spam And now's a great time To take a minute To enjoy some spam I don't even know how to promote that one Craving salt Craving salt

Maybe shit in your pants Try spam I Okay, so If you have any Filipino listeners Or Filipino listeners Because spam's popular In certain cultures

And so yeah Spam fried rice is freaking bomb I'm gonna make I shouldn't act above it Because I feel like I'd love it I'm going to make it for you. I used to love bologna. I'm not into bologna.

Rolled up bologna. Oh, sick. I never liked bologna, but spams pretty nasty. It has like the jelly on the outside. Oh, that's sick. When you pop the can open. That's sick. I don't know when it expires.

I think it takes up to 12 to 15 years, maybe. So super fresh. Shelflifes everlasting. But I don't want to put that as one of my favorite foods, but I did love it as a kid. Really? Pop-Tarts. Oh, pop-tarts. Low?

I just bought pop-tarts like a week ago, and it was the best thing of life. What flavor? Strawberry, always classic. Classic strawberry. They now have Pop-Tart bites where you can just pop one-timers. I always cut the crust off. The f***. I want no crust.

I want pure frosting. You just want frosting and jelly. That's it. No, I need a little ratio of crust in there. Otherwise, I feel too guilty. Like, one of my eating. candy for breakfast actually yes I am

love Pop Tarts also good old Cap and Crunch Extra berries I want to cut up the roof Yeah I was gonna say did you see my post the other day When I was eating Captain Crunch I said because who needs the roof of your mouth anyways Captain Crunch just shreds up the roof of your mouth Sure does worth it

Yeah worth every damn shred I was all about the egos Nobody Legos my egos Oh Not relatable No, they were good They were amazing Were they?

Yes People who liked Eggos probably loved Bagel bites too Did not Never been a big bagel bite guy Are you a pizza roll girl? No

Oh I love pizza rolls Too much dough Too much dough That's like folding your pizza Yeah No Put in that little A little pocket of

Amazing No no no no That's putting too much You don't like the crust of pop tarts, but you want to double up the pizza folded so that your one bite is full of crust. Completely different. Not different.

In fact, very similar. The crust of a pop tart is very similar to like, I don't know, cement the crust of a pizza roll. It's flavorful because you get all that souse and the cheese and that, ooh, I'm, oh my God, I'm looking at my chops, just thinking about it. I'm getting all hot and bother. What? No. There's too much.

The ratio is unfair. It's too much bread. You're unfair. You don't understand. You are a pizza folder? No, I'm not a pizza folder. Oh, that's what I'm saying. No, but I am a pizza roll eater over bagel bites any day.

Do you dip? My pizza? Yeah. Yeah, in buffalo sauce or ranch or whatever sauce is available. I'll dip. What about blue cheese? Get the hell out of here with your blue cheese. You get out of it.

I hate blue cheese. Okay, I don't. So much. I, if I hated blue cheese, I wouldn't be in the relationship I'm in right now. Oh, Jason lives. Oh, man. He would lick blue cheese. What?

Off a chicken wing is what I was going to say. Well, that was going to go downhill fast. He, he would, my love for ketchup, I would sip ketchup out of a straw. He would do that with blue cheese. Wow. Now, here's a question. Do you call it blue cheese or blue cheese dip? Blue cheese.

blue cheese dressing okay it's a dressing for salads or crumbles for oh that is sickos sociopaths anyone from buffalo right now hates me yeah is that a big thing in buffalo yeah blue cheese yeah oh my gosh I'm a ranch girl I'm a ranch girl too I love ranch um I just found a ranch in my purse today yeah yeah hidden valley all the way HVR have you ever had have you Cucumber Ranch is so good. Yeah, it's called creamy cucumber. It's a Canada's like ranch is creamy cucumber. Oh, delicious.

Yeah. I just know that Black Angus, they have the best ranch this side of the Mississippi. Have you ever been to a Black Angus before? No. Oh, it's like a one notch above sizzler. Delicious. What's sizzler? Oh, shit.

Okay, well. Canada. Yep. You have, I don't know what you had there. not sizzler we had Boston pizza delicious

my favorite skit on SNL is Melissa McCarthy doing a ranch tasting trying to come up with a slogan this is going to be good

there's a hidden rally ranch party in my mouth a hidden valley ranch party in my mouth there's a hidden ranch party in my mouth

there's a hidden valley ranch party in my mouth there's a hidden valley ranch party 40 in my mouth. You're going to write that to my mouth? You want to write that down to the campaign? Probably not going to write that down. It's my favorite S&L skit.

And then she starts chugging ranch going, HVR. Anyways, you like ranch? Big ranch guy. Love it. Okay. Can't get enough of the ranch. But buffalo sauce as well. Mix the two together.

What a treat. I call that 74 sauce. Sure. Let's take a minute as we continue to adapt to this changing world. We're also going to be buying more stuff online than ever before. And trust me, I've always been an online shopper, and it's not stopping anytime soon. If you're an e-commerce seller, are you ready to meet the demands of our new delivery culture? You can be ready with ship station.

When you're selling online, getting a lot of orders out fast, it can be tough. How do you keep track of who gets what? Which shipping carrier should you use? And are you getting the best rates? That's why you need shipstation.com. It's the fastest, easiest, and most affordable way to manage and ship your orders. Shipstation has actually been so helpful for me, and many people actually I know who use it now or have used it in the past to get their orders out quickly and to save money on shipping costs. Now, I personally love that ShipStation brings all of your orders conveniently into one simple interface, which makes it really, really easy to manage getting your stuff shipped out.

Even from your phone, which is great when you're on the go, they can help you no matter. where you're selling, whether it's your own website or sites like Amazon and Etsy. Shipstation works with all of the major carriers, including USPS, FedEx, UPS, even Amazon fulfillment, so you can compare and choose the best shipping solution for you and your customer. They even offer big discounts on shipping costs. Now any business can access the same postage discounts that are usually reserved for large fortune 500 companies. You'll always know that you're getting the best deal. So it's no wonder ship station is the number one choice. of online sellers. You'll ship more in less time with the best rates available.

And right now, off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow listeners can try ShipStation free for 60 days when you use Offer Code Vine. Make sure your business is ready to meet the demands of the delivery culture. Get started at ShipStation.com today. Click on the microphone at the top of the home page. Type in Vine. That's Shipstation.com. Enter code Vine. Shipstation.com. Make shiphip happen. Do you remember what your aim screen name was? Chaco Taco Taco 21. Stop it. That's it.

Chaco Taco 21. That was it. What was 21? I just wanted people to think I was older just in case I went into sex chat rooms. Just in case I found older men. Just in case I saw someone that was older. Don't worry. It's safe.

Don't worry. I'm 21. Send the dick picks. Daddy. I'd die. Mine was candy kiss. Candy kiss. That's cute.

I was so pumped because no one else had candy kiss. I didn't have to be Candy Kiss 21. Yeah, you lucked out with that one. I was like, share. Seal. Madonna. Candy kiss. Oh, yeah, there is a seal.

Yeah, the singer. So I'm at an airport a couple years ago. He's amazing. He is underrated celebrity. So underrated. He sang at Jaden Tanner's wedding for bachelor um a bachelor wedding and then he was standing outside the airport and i was like standing there with him and he commented on my dog and i was like you feel yeah and i just said hey you sang at my

friend's wedding so casual yeah and he was like who's your friends you're friends with Oprah and i was like jaden tanner from the bachelor he goes oh that's a crazy world that he goes were you on that show i said yeah i was a bachelor he goes get out and he just started asking questions like is it real what do they pay you? you. Yeah. I love Seal. I love Seal, too.

He's lovely. Anyways, what was my question? I don't remember what your question. Oh, your in-screen name. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah. Chaco-Tocco 21. That was it.

And have you ever had a Chaco Taco? What's that? I thought it was a L. Oh, no. A-L-O-E-Som. No, so there's these things, Chaco-Tacos. All right, all my Latinos out there in the community. You guys have Chaco-Tac-Tacos.

It's basically a taco, but the shell of the taco is made of waffle cone filled with, uh. I just did a pelvis thrust at the same time. Fill that waffle shell with vanilla ice cream. Yeah. Top it with the chocolate fudge and then dip that in a shell chocolate and a little bit of peanuts on top. It's basically like a drumstick for Hispanics. No. Appealing to the Hispanic community.

my family was like oh we'll take 20 boxes like we loved them it was like the girl guide cookies of your generation totally I don't know what those are but yeah what the hell girl guy cookies girl girl guide girl guide cookies you mean like girls scout yeah I think girl guide is Canadian girl guides how cute like little see and I dogs you guys were very helpful for the blind community we called them girl scouts here at thin mince yeah yeah tag alongs or whatever does so girl guides I learned things all the time about like

what's Canadian and what's American that's so cute but it's the same thing right I was a brownie oh yeah I think we call them brownies here too I was a brownie and then into a girl guide I was a brownie with my best friend Lindsay and we were so proud yeah I actually okay I'm not going to get dark

but she was my best friend who passed away in a car accident Oh, fuck's sake, Caitlin. Well, going into dancing with the stars, you kind of relive, like, your whole life. And they're like, let's start at, like, at the beginning where you were born, like, what's happened in your life? Who are you as a person? And I, like, got into that, and I was like, yeah. Oh, wow. Anyways, I'm not going to, she means everything to me, and she was everything to me.

And I have a tattoo for her. Yeah. Oh, that's so traumatic. Very traumatic. Everyone that knows, Bree, who listens to the, you know, Bree. Yeah. It was our best friend. It's a whole.

whole thing but I'll talk about that in another time because it's it's a heavy story it's heavy and it's so meaningful and we're talking about freaking goger and pop tarts and like pizza rolls and by the way goger love really incredible treat I'm gonna steal I'm gonna be a comedy thief here and for anyone who knows what I'm doing tweet me and tell me you know don't Google it but goger really we're we're so inconvenienced by yogurt these days everybody's on the go you need to go When's the last time you sat down and someone called you go to the movies and you're like, I can't. I just opened up a yogurt.

That's how that's how on the go we are these days. We need gogerts. Do you know who that is? Chris DeLea. Touchy name in Hollywood right now, but Ellen DeGeneres. I'm rooting for her. I am too. I know she's mean.

I know she's like a- But she kind of has a right to be a little mean. like as long as she's not being like racist abusive like who cares if she wants people to put gum in their mouth when they come in so they don't have bad breath like she's earned that kind of like Oprah you cannot chew gum in front of Oprah like not even nobody's shitting on Oprah but I think she had a healthier atmosphere maybe they were saying it was like toxic at the Ellen show knew how toxic her environment she did oh I think she was fully aware of her producers were probably complete assholes and she was just like okay they're a-holes like that's fine like it is what

it is like she lets them run the show they're doing successful seasons everything's great in her world she probably wasn't giving it much thought to be honest but i think she was fully aware i couldn't imagine her having her name up on that studio and not knowing what the hell's going on but at that level don't you just come in and be like i'm here to do my job and then i'm out yeah to an extent once she and you're in the gravy period of it like super successful but like they're they're talking about this has been going on since like hi welcome to the ellen show welcome to hell but then i've talked to so many people that are like we love it like everyone seems so happy sure Hollywood's a scary place for rumors too yeah you know you just never know i'm not a big on council culture though like even though ellen could be a complete nightmare i still love her show i think she still does great things for the world yeah Look, would you rather be... She just needs to clean up the act at the studio.

Would you rather her be someone who's maybe a bit of an asshole to people when she doesn't have time for them and gives back and changes the world? Or would you rather her not do anything for the world and be the nicest person out there? I think, well, I'll go with option A because we want some charity work. Yeah. However, I do think that. You could set the bar a little bit higher and you could do awesome charity work and not be an asshole to the staff or or I think also complacency is also guilt. Fair. You know, but look.

She's letting it go, turning a blind eye perhaps. Ellen is my hall pass. So I always have her back with Portia or just Ellen. No, I don't I don't do three sums. Okay. Sorry. I mean, I only do hall passes. Celebrity cheating

Got it No I would never But if I could Yeah If there's a gun in my head I'd sleep with Ellen okay Fair enough Okay

No I but I still Again I love the show And it's a bummer It is a bummer But you never know the truth Yeah I think some of it is also People kind of dogpiling a little bit

Yeah of course Things get twisted But She'll bounce back The thing is the new cycle Is so quick right now Like I'm already like Ellen's a monster on Monday.

Then I'm like Hurricane Rita hit Thirst. You know, right now there's so many crazy things going on that like Ellen being a monster is like, okay, moving on. So true. It sucks, but like.

Like aliens are waiting. So Ellen. Yeah. Alien invasion next week. Yeah. Ellen's laughing because aliens are next up. I saw this video on TikTok and it was like somebody saying basically, you know what's really funny is the lack of like,

surprise in 2020 somebody could somebody could say trees are alive and they actually want to kill you and we go okay okay I wonder if that's in my city yeah probably that's what I say yeah I'll wait for it probably started in LA yeah yeah it's true isn't it yeah nothing that's how messed up it is yeah nothing really even like hearing stuff that's like so crazy like that let's say Trump will say I'm so unfazed by anything yeah they're like Donald Trump you know peed on a prostitute and then beheaded her and you're like again uh yeah really Donald yeah I thought that's only on Wednesdays right I'm just so numb to which is not a good thing I'm not happy that I'm numb to so many things no it's actually quite depressing let's end on a high note go gerts go gerts go gerts

are delicious they're delicious I love I love a good, I don't, I love a good, creamy go-gurt. Okay, we're going to take a little break because there's more to explore at the Home Depot. From furniture and home decor to bedding and more, Home Depot.com has endless options for every space. With the Home Depot, decorating your home is now easier than ever before. Start by heading to Home Depot.com where you can shop everything for every room. Browse thousands of furniture pieces and decorative accents to fit any style. Explore bedding and bath linens, kitchenware and small appliances, all at the right prices.

Whether you're going for a brand new look, a seasonal little refresh, or simply a few finishing touches, the Home Depot has all of the pieces you need. And the best part, shop today and you'll get a free and flexible delivery with easy returns. For a limited time, you can save even more on the styles you love when you use code Off the Vine 10 at checkout. Find exactly what you're looking for and more at Home Depot.com slash decor. Free delivery on select items $45 or more. Visit Home Depot.com for more information.

We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Don't Miss Spencer and Heidi recap Laguna Beach on the Spidey podcast. nice girl, but she wasn't that sweet. Even growing up in L.A. I'd always heard about the Laguna Bubble and how everyone hooks up with everyone. That was like a known thing of Laguna Beach. I mean, there's never been a show

like this before. You've seen Kristen in like her jacuzzi laying out. Like, who even lives like this? Get new episodes of the Spidey Podcast on Apple Podcasts. Podcasts. Podcast 1 and Spotify. Now back to Off the Vine with

Caitlin Bristow. We're going to end this podcast with a couple confessions. Now look, everybody doesn't need to get sad because we're going to make this a two-parter because we still have a lot of questions to answer from listeners. So this is going to be our Tuesdays off the vine. Stay tuned for grape therapy where we answer your questions and probably have eight more laugh attacks. But let's end this one with a good old confession. A confession. Because you have the most, oh God, I never say this word, E-P-I-C confessions. I don't know why that word bothers me.

Epic. I don't like it. I'm trying to think because I was like, let's do, you know, we're talking about us's children. Yes. Confessions. So I'm trying to think of things that I did. And I'm like, man, I was such a weird child. I have so many confessions.

Like. Yeah. I don't even know where to start. I don't, God. I mean. I'm trying to think of one from my childhood. I have one that happened recently. Give it to me.

But I'm sure it probably started in my childhood. Give it. Give it. It could be a full circle. Give it a full circle moment. It's not. Well, here's the thing too, because I've given so many confessions on off the vine, great therapy.

Let it all hang out on this podcast. Yeah. That's what it's for. But I feel like I have to keep upping the ante. so I feel like I have to keep this podcast just keeps me being a shitty person so no it keeps the audience laughing I'm glad they're part of the journey yeah uh okay well so all right I'll get so excited my knees are like bouncing this one's not well it's okay it's okay so I recently went to Target okay well let me give Backstore. You guys know that I've been staying with my parents. Yeah. Um, for quarantine. I split up my time. I do a few days on with them. Then I go back to my place to have some alone time. Yeah. I can masturbate at home. I can't do that at my parents. Feel that. It's like uncomfortable for me. Yeah. Um, so back to being back at home with my parents. My mom and I went to Target. Yeah. Did a little Target run. Of course. And I decided to treat myself to a new pillow. Target has some great pillows. Great pillows. There was one with.

a cooling technology, cooling face technology, whatever, temprietic, it was 40 something dollar, like 40 bucks. Yeah. They're basically giving it away.

Yeah. I guess $40 isn't that much for a pillow. No, that's a lot. It is a lot for a pillow. Yes. Okay.

Because I thought so too. I mean, I think. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really buy pillows all the time. So I don't know.

I don't remember last time I bought a pillow. But in my head, I was like, I'm going to, because I saw at Target, it's like a $15 pillow and that just feels like a sack filled with,

Plastic poop. Yeah. Plastic poop. And then there's another one that it just feels like those like popcorn things you get in the mail like. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was not comfortable. So as you need to splurge on pillows and comforters and mattresses.

You know what? I'm going to drop 80 bucks plus tax and I'm going to get myself two new pillows for my bed at my parents place. So anyway, we did our target run. We have, I put the pillows on the bottom area of the cart. Okay. Where you can, like, you know, loads, like waters and shit can go there. Okay. And then we go to check out, they didn't ring up the pillows.

They didn't ring them up. I didn't realize they didn't ring them up, though. Okay. Or did I? No, I didn't. No. No. My mom is so by the book.

Yeah. My mom's the type that, like, I mean, if the wrong change is given, she'll correct it even if it's going to short her, whatever. Yeah. She's very. she doesn't break rules Right You know Even though she's a little chola

She's not when it comes to break What does that mean? They break rules? I mean my mom's from the hood She's a chola So like my mom's like from the streets If you will So breaking rules tagging streets

Like my mom would like tag buildings and stuff Early on Yeah my mom Oh sure She didn't have like the painted eyebrows You know But like she could f*** up some girls You know

Yeah She's from the streets Ghanal So anyway Oh so they didn't charge for the pillows But my mom's like a What's the word? A reformed chola

Now my mom's like a successful business woman She's put her chola pass behind her Yeah So we're walking out And I go mom They didn't charge for the pillows She's like oh my God I go don't you dare

She goes I could keep on going I waited till we were happy Start the car I waited to her halfway to the car so that it would be, like, awkward if we went back. Yeah. And I kept, like, pulling the car. Like, come on.

Like, we're going. I'm pushing her forward to the car. Put those pillows in the car. I stole them, essentially. The alarms didn't go off. There were no tags on the pillows. Can I tell you, Caitlin, though? I've never felt better about myself.

And I feel like once I stole those pillows, I felt alive again. Really? Like, you were kind of in the 2020 dumps, and that just brought you back to life. Sure. Yeah. That's a little jolt I needed. You know what? Could be worse.

I slept on those pillows and I was like, I've never slept better with these free pillows. Okay. So then. Oh, there's more. Well, I'm living a life of crime now. Right. That's karma. No, there's no karma in this story.

The next thing happened. You got more free pillows. No. Oh, we go to Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. Did a pickup order. They forgot to charge you. No, that would have been awesome.

No, but... Extra cheesecake. Jesus. I get it now. Well, so many listeners tell me I interrupt everybody. Oh, God. Okay, anyways. So they, they, uh, went, I went to pay and I paid for my...

Double. Okay. Literally? Cows on. They gave me extra food. They gave me extra food. They gave me an extra appetizer, an extra, you nailed it, Caitlin, you got it. They gave me an extra, she's so happy that she knew already.

Extra cheesecake, extra plate that we didn't order. And the girl goes, oh, after she showed me all my food, and then she saw one other, like, thing of food. And there was, like, someone else's order. There were buffalo bites, delicious, cheesecake, and Thai lettuce wraps. I just know because you could remember. when it's free anyway they threw and she goes oh i forgot to add these and i go oh yes you did sarah stop i know it's like your um you're manifesting free shit now and thievery i don't feel

bad about it at all if it was a small restaurant i would have said something if it was like a family own but i'm like cheesecake factory oh i would never yeah cheesecake factory it's a factory yeah many factories around the world probably freaking child labor who knows like I don't know oh trying to make myself feel like I'm not bad by saying cheesecake factory is the worst but they're incredible no they've got like a little bit of a budget for you know some giveaways yeah well I did feel bad about it a little bit after truth be told I called cheesecake factory the next day my mom guilt churped me she's like this is probably someone's food this is probably they probably saved up to get this. I'm like, well, even if it was, they'll just make more food for them.

Right. If I took someone's meal. Yeah, there's more where that came from. It's not like I got the last lettuce cups. Right. In the restaurant. 25 cents for one of those. Right. For a whole thing of lettuce. Yeah. They just upcharge you. They do. Yeah. See, I already feel better about it. You're welcome. So I called Cheesecake Factory and I said once the food, so I told her what happened. I confessed. I said my friend Caitlin accidentally took some. And I'm so pissed that she did it. And she said once it leaves the door of Cheesecake Factory, we can no longer see it, take it back. And the thing is, when I got the food, I went to the car and I was like, oh, my God, Mom, like we hit the jackpot.

I was like, dinner's on me, babe. You think like I don't have the money to buy a meal. I'm good, you know, like I could afford it. Yeah, but there's something about a free meal. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. So, but the waitress.

or the host whoever picked up the phone was like once it leaves the facility it can no longer come back. Well, at least you can fall asleep at night on your free pillows knowing that you called Cheese Factory to make it right. Exactly. So then...

Oh! I know. The last part is, and I'm still, I don't know what to do about this. Okay, so AirPods are $250, right? So you stole them. Okay. No, okay.

that's just yeah they're that but they're free 99 if you're low i okay so i ordered them through my wireless carrier i'm not even going to say who my wireless carriers i'm so nervous tell us oh that's canadian no team mobile oh no anyway sprint i'm not going to say it so it's sprint for sure definitely not sprint no no okay Verizon I ordered on the website and they charged it to my bill they sent me I paid 250 plus tax whatever got the AirPod pros by the way if anyone out there is wondering like should I spend they are worth you can get I think the normal ones are like I don't know like 200 or one something spend the extra noise cancelling it's a great feature fits your ears fits your ears yeah the other ones don't fit my ear holes oh yeah you have an abnormal earhole go on So, yeah, they sent me two. I paid for one. Stop it.

I don't know how it happened. I don't know. And I got two separate boxes. First box came in, second box, and they only charged my bill one. I called my phone carrier and said, I just wanted to make sure, was I, was I charge for the AirPods? They said, yep. I said just one AirPods, right? They said, okay.

I don't know how it happened. What do I do? Do I turn it in? Would you turn it in? You know what it is? it's little clipboard colton coming in from your past trying to make things right you're trying to make things right back in your day and karma is just you know good karma you're saying karma doesn't have a timeline yes and it's coming back to you now should I return the AirPods no you put in your you put in your dues yeah my ass kicked yeah years yes and Now you get your AirPods. I get my iPods now.

Sell that second one. I'm selling them. So I'll do a swipe up on my stories, guys. Bidding starts at 250s. Yeah. Anyway, it's three things. But you would have done the same? I'm curious.

And if anyone is out there, would you have stolen the pillows, taking the cheesker factory? Okay. Oh, freaking judgmental Judy over here. You wouldn't have done it. You would have went back to Target and said, can you charge? me for these pillows please i would have and that don't make you bad people it's just that i am a crazy person for karma but i think this is your karma in a good way maybe yeah i felt very out of

character doing it but now i'm living a life of crime so it's the new me right and you're sleeping well at night so like a baby on my freaking free pillows i die sorry not sorry so so sorry i That was my long-winded confession. I can't even handle that I'm standing sitting here while Britney Spears is on the background of the TV. I am wondering what the hell is going. Oh, my God. I literally was like, I was like looking past you, just being like totally. And Britney Spears is just on the screen behind you.

She's ready. And she wants free Britney. Free Britney. That's how we're ending this podcast. Okay. Yeah. Let her go. Let her go.

let her be she did i okay i just read that she filed uh and said that she wants to change it from her dad being the conservator to someone else yeah there's literally parades and marches going on for her free brittany yeah should we do that absolutely tomorrow we can try and go free her in calabasas it's like 45 minutes from here done i know what we're doing tomorrow um i love you thank you for being on the podcast. Everybody needs to stay, no, not stay tuned.

I mean, just tune back in on Thursday because we're about to answer some of your burning questions. If I'm even here, like by then I'm like, I stole a car,

like off the rails. Like, don't let me into your, like, Caitlin's like making sure, like taking inventory of everything. Like, I'm Winona Ryder. Sticky fingers. Remember when she stole it,

Sacks? Do you remember that story? Yeah. That's the thing. She was well off. I mean, she's doing fine. She's stealing from Sex with Avenue. That reminds me of Home Alone when they're the sticky bandits.

I'm Caitlin Bristow. And I'll see you next Tuesday. Get out of here. Thanks for listening to Awesome. Revine with Caitlin Brisco. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?