Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Lo Von Rumpf and Jason

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

Lo is back to co-host with Kaitlyn for this week’s episode and they talk about the incredible score she received this week on the show, play a game of Who’s Line Is It: DWTS Judges and paid their respects to Alex Trebeck. Later, the three of them share what they are thankful for, discuss the latest update on a COVID vaccine and Kaitlyn asks Lo some hilarious questions! BIG SKY – Big Sky premieres Tuesday November 17th on ABC GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance BEST FRIENDS – Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play RITUAL – Visit Ritual.com/VINE to get 10% off during your first three months. SKILLSHARE – For a limited time, get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership at Skillshare.com/VINE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who's doing with OTV? Podcast One presents Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Get ready for lots of laughs, tabby topics, on filtered advice, and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, where I am coming to you with a first. fruit a fruit a few bruised ribs i'm tired my brain is clearly not working it is so crazy to dance seven days a week hours and hours of the day then have camera blocking ups and down sunday then monday it's just like a roller coaster of adrenaline and then after be like oh and i still got to get out podcast yeah a couple of week and that's what we're here for that is what we're here for yeah anyways That's huge. Huge win. I cannot believe. I have dreamt about seeing the judges on Dancing with the Stars hold up three tens and that I'm standing there freaking out. Like before I was even asked to go on the show, I've had that vision. And so now I'm like, that happened. That happened tonight. It happened while I was dressed as Britney Spears. it couldn't have been a better moment for you and can I say to see you the morning of in tears just wanting to end it all just wanting to you were in the shower and you said lo to electrocute me now I'm done with this I just can't do it your ribs are hurting your brew I can't even breathe my ribs you have a little raspberry a little plum of a bruise on your knee a little one it's like a black and blue ball golf ball yeah

coming out of my knee all the blisters on the feet you might have to amputate a toe or two nobody said going after your dreams would be easy that's true so to know all of that going into it and then to see you get three tens it's incredible I mean and I was shook at your ass off to the core that AJ was sent home like I thought he was my main competition I thought he was in the finals then it makes you think well who the hell's going home next week because everyone's a good dancer yeah that one kind of threw me off too. Yeah. I thought Nellie was going home, just if I could say it.

Well, because he's not the strongest dancer there, but he's got the strongest personality and clearly has a strong fan base, which I get it, because if I was watching this show and I wasn't on it, I'd be rooting for him. And I will say, once he took his little shirt off, I'm about Nelly, too. I'm into it. You know, you know, Tyra says, and you're going to change your votes through the whole show. You, like, took back all your Caitlin's to 21, 5, 2, 3. You're like,

Nelly, Nelly, Nelly, Nelly, Nelly, Nelly. I'm like, Nelly, Nelly. Nelly. Sorry. Oh, God, Nelly. No, but congrats to you, because that was an incredible performance. It really was, I think this, you know, when they show the highlights of all the greatest performances of Dancing with the Stars, I think this is going to be on that highlight reel. Oh, it has to be.

It was so, it was beautiful. Thank you. It shook a lot of people up. I just, Artem was kind of laughing today because two days ago it was Saturday and he goes Caitlin I'm just I'm not gonna lie I'm concerned at where we're at in this in this dance like I could not get it together in the opening I could not have my balance I kept it was like a frustrating week for Artem because he's like you literally had this dance the first day I showed you

and now you're struggling like I don't get it it should be getting better and I was like but I can't breathe because my ribs hurt and it was this whole thing and then you never know how it's going to go because the pasta do I was like, I'm going to hit it. The judges have asked me to attack. I'm going to do it. I did it. Got a seven.

Wait, Pasadoublee was which dress? Cruella Deville, where I was supposed to be a spicy little sex pot of a, like, vixen, and I looked like an 80-year-old. Golden girls. It was so unfortunate. And I actually didn't even realize it until Artem was like, you know, we got to get you in, like, a good Brittany costume, because the Pazzoble, you're supposed to be like a vixen. He goes, and you just look like a grandma. And I was like, oh, I don't. I did didn't I oh yeah they gave you that nerd outfit too

no I was not happy about that yeah but then she ripped the skirt off and it was like there she is hot girl moment yeah yeah the creolea just didn't work for me but brittany i wonder it okay so tyra told me she reached out to brittany to tell me about the to tell her about the dance wait what yeah well she probably is friends with her i assume yeah so i wonder brittney saw it i wonder yeah they i think they Are you okay Lo? You have a little burp over there. Yeah.

Was it the cookie? It was the cookie I had. Now I think they allow Britney for like 30 minutes of TV time. So in that I hope she was able. I don't know. I just assumed the conservatorship. Right. But I hope she was able to see it.

Free Brittany. That's all I have to say. I'm ready for her to be freed. I want to see. She's been talking about this project Rose that she's been working on. Oh. And I don't, I really don't know what. What it entails yet.

Right. But we were part of it already. It's been coming soon for a few months now, and I'm really... I'm ready for Project Rose. Does my breast smell, Jay? Sometimes after I, like, have a crazy day, I'm like, I don't think I drank any water, and I'm drinking wine, and I don't know if I brush my teeth. I was...

So I didn't get to see your performance. Jay has the live Zoom version of it through Dancing with the Stars, producers. So I like to see that, because I'm getting East Coast time while I'm on the West Coast, and I feel like I have a leg up. just on everybody but I get to see it exclusive rights but I was sitting in traffic

so I didn't get to I missed it but the downfall is one it's a little bit grainy on the Zoom and two Jason is absolutely insane he is nuts to watch the show with if you've seen Jason watch a Buffalo

Bill's game like picture that time's like 10 and add like steroids and just like I'm so glad I'm not You're during that. No, he is vested in. He, I mean, he's amazing to watch it with because he is like, yeah, okay, that.

Like, he is screaming, who and holler. Like, he was giving me the high five and, like, I broke a couple fingers. He's just. I had a 10-minute break in between my first dance and then the dance off for the cha-cha. And so I facetimed J because I just got three tens. I was so excited. I thought, you know, my mom's going to be sad to hear this, but I called Jason first. and his veins were popping out of his forehead

and he was sweating and he was like, yeah! And I was like, oh my God, yes, yes. I know. Like only Jay would turn Dancing with the Stars to like Super Bowl. He probably put a bed on it. He like takes the Vegas odds and goes against me just to like win some money for it.

I'm going for Johnny Weir. You're so funny. Oh, my God. I mean, what a good, you know, when someone in a relationship can root for you, like get as excited as you do for yourself? You're like, this is good. You know, you picked a winner chicken dinner. That's why I put on my bills sweater every Sunday, and I just put money towards them.

I do. I always bet for the bills, even when you're like, no, babe, that's a bad idea with this team. I'm like, nope, I'm going for the bills. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get back to the podcast in 30 seconds. just wanted to ask you if you own or rent your own home because I'm sure you do and I bet it can be hard work

but you know it's easy bundling policies with Geico Geico makes it easy to bundle your home owners or renters insurance along with your auto policy it's a good thing too because you already have so much to do around your home go to Geico.com get a quote and see how much you could save it's Geicoe easy visit geico. Visit geico.com today that's guyco. Anyways low I heard you have a game for us oh yeah I do

Okay, the game is, so you have to guess the line of who said it. Okay. Whose line is it anyway? Oh, so it's kind of a who's line is it anyway situation. And this is with dancing with the stars, judges. Okay. Okay, here we go, true or false. Okay, so here, let me read the little directions below are some quotes from Bruno and

Carrie and this season, which judge said it, and to whom? Okay. Ready? Yeah. Here we go. you are the easiest on the eyes me for sure just kidding yeah yeah you're the easiest on the eyes you have a groove and it's fun to watch that was carri-an for sure and it was to nelly holy shit that was right right yeah well first of all he does have a groove and he is fun to watch and that was a very carry-on

sentence okay oh wow she's done her homework next you are a little you are a little pigeon-toed so everything you do is a little inward. That was also Carrie Ann. Poop, poop, poop. Oh. Wrong answer. Oh. It was actually...

Derek. Bruno. That's what I meant. Bruno. Oh, he said it to Jeannie Mae. Nope. Your sister. Crishell.

Oh. Yeah. She a pigeon-toed queen. Yes, she is. She's the most beautiful pigeon-toed queen. We love their little pigeon in town. She's got to have something wrong with her. Fine.

Be a little pigeon don't. Watch your elbows. Your upper arms seem to have resistance. Oh, this was recently, I feel like. It was Derek. Boop, pooh. It was Carrie Ann. Correct.

And she said it to AJ. Nailed it. Yeah. Wow. Remember that. Okay. True or false statement. Okay.

You're a sexy mountain lion who is about to climb in the mountain to your dreams. That is definitely Bruno. False. Just made it up. Wait, how's that true or false? Oh, sorry. The game's messed up.

So some of them are true or false and some of them are guests who said it. I'm realizing that the email I'm reading is a mixtration of them both. So rolling the dice. Now we're going to true or false. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, sorry. Here we go. Dancing with the Stars presents the revenge of the stripper part one,

The Attack of the Killer Boobes. Has that been said on Dancing with the Stars before? No. It has? It has. What? It was said to Kendra Wilkinson. Oh, oh, like in...

In Dancing with the Stars history. Kendra Wilkinson was on Dancing with the Stars. This game's so messy. And I'm like, sorry, I'm leading you down a path of like, you're never going to win. Because I'm like, that was so bad. Okay, last one. I'm sorry.

Last one, Lo. Last one. Just tell me, I'm right. I need to end on a high note. Okay, okay, I need a good one. Let's do, let's do, okay. I'm going to do, uh, whose line is it anyway? I think you'd do better with those.

Okay. Deliciously bonkers, but it works. That was for sure, Bruno. I remember him saying deliciously bonkers. Um, but. it works um oh that was when they didn't know like if it was um uh this dance or that dance um it was to um deliciously bonkers okay it's not sky it's not you got it right with bruno and it is to just wait no it's too um not nelly i'll give you a hint his chest is quite hairy oh neve there

It is. Nailed it. Hairy chest. There it is. Maybe one more. I'm not impressed. Carry on to me. Got it. Did you see we hugged it out tonight though? Yes. Yeah. I love that. COVID officers were not pleased with us. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're off the show actually. Oh. We also didn't get in trouble. But we were a little worried about it because we're not allowed to even like,

We had to dance in our separate squares with Justina and Sasha. And, like, you have to, like, really stay six feet apart. Of course. Unless you're masked. No, even if you're masked, you still have to stay six feet apart. So then Artem starts dragging me over to carry out. And I was like, put a mask on. Somebody talks about us a mask.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I completely forgot. I was so wrapped up in all of the glitz and glam and lashes that I forgot. There's a pandemic ravaging the United States. Yeah. I, I, too, forgot about.

that um okay but everyone's tested by the way so everyone's tested every day and so i'm not worried about it but that would be quite a shame okay well you know what that was we've had better games on the podcast but it was fun because at first i was like wait you know like on um what's that show where they play the game whose line is it anyway that's the actual game no family feud um no it's like um wow my brain doesn't work and that's okay you know what's really fun though about podcasting on a Monday night well honestly I'm so tired but you know it's fun about it well one the amount the copious amount of spade and sparrows

amazing um two the fact that we can talk about current events because this is going to come out in the morning oh yeah that is nice like first of all, can we just pour one out for Alex Trebek? Oh, I know. Oh, I literally want to pour one out for Alex I'm so, he's like, yeah, just pour it for Alex

Trebek. He's a Canadian. Oh, I didn't know he was Canadian. A Canadian legend. Of course, nobody ever remembers that legends are Canadian. He honestly, I've watched Jeopardy for so long. I always watched it when I wanted to

like convince myself I wasn't a dumb ass. Yeah. Because if I got one ass or right, I'd be like, genius. Good night. And Alex Trebek always just seemed like this kind, humble, well-spoken, smart, sweet soul. And he would always roast nerds, which I loved. Always roasted nerds.

Yeah. And he'd get them. He'd get them. And he'd make people like so, like when, you know, they'd like tell their terrible stories. Like, oh, I heard you once raised your voice in a library. Tell me about that. And they're like, oh, well, you know, in my day. And he goes, oh, all right.

Well, next one. Like, he's just so sweet and funny. I just loved. I can't believe he's gone. I feel like it all happened so fast. Yeah. And I don't even like the fact that on Twitter right now, they're talking about who could replace him.

He's irreplaceable. We could take a knee on Jeopardy. What? Or am I wrong? I could be wrong. I thought he was already replaced. By Ken Jennings? yeah no no or by i don't know people think ken jennings is the perfect choice to take over jeopardy

because he's i don't know he's one of the craziest contestants i think he won as much as you possibly oh right yeah no but i thought okay i can be completely wrong he's the greatest player of all time he was he is but i thought that he was replaced uh because he was already going through the treatments and everything so he had to i just don't think he's like i just think he's like i just think Jeopardy can can it's kind of like who's the guy uh don park oh shit what's his name pat no the white-haired amazing guy from price is right bob barker thank you oh yeah they tried to bring in drew carry no want won't want to it not i love drew though but i don't no i love drew too yeah but bob barker is a legend and the show it was around him right and

The same goes for Alec Trebek. Yeah, I agree. Anyways, Jeopardy for Life. All right, if you are like me, you're always looking for that next great show to get obsessed with. So when I heard that David E. Kelly has a new series coming to ABC, you guys know I'm from Allie McBeal, The Practice and Big Little Eyes, I was all in. Big Sky is one of those edge of your seat, thrill rides, full of twists and turns. You'll never see coming when two sisters go missing under the wide open skies of Montana, private detective. Cassie and Cody team up with Cody's ex-wife Jenny to find them before it's too late.

The girl's disappearance soon reveals an even deeper mystery, one that some will do anything to keep hidden. It just goes to show you that even the most beautiful places can hide the darkest secrets. Ooh, sounds good, right? Big Sky features an incredible cast. Ryan Felipe, anyone? Catherine Winnic, Kyle Bunbury, and John Carroll Lynch. Can't wait to check it out. Big Sky premieres Tuesday, November 17th on ABC. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Okay, so also coming up.

Turkey Day. Thanks. Tofurkey day for me. That's right. I know. Gotta love that tofurkey in my belly. It's not good though. It's disgusting.

It's, nothing will ever taste the same as turkey. When's the last time you had turkey? 97. It actually kind of makes me on a vom a little bit when I think about turkey. Oh, you're salivating. I love it. Think about it. It's a big ass.

Delicious. Raw bird. You plucked the feathers out. Yes. Shaved it down to its skin. Perfect. Ripped its head off. Yeah.

Definitely. Carved out some of the guts, but you'll leave some in to eat later as stuffing. I love them gizzards. Oh. Oh. Oh. I love them, gizzards. Did we lose Jason, by the way?

Jason's over there eating his hot sour soup working. Jason's over there having this gizzard soup and wants nothing to do with us. Oh, he felt left out. Oh, he's working. He's working. Okay, well, on to the low. Restart, reset. Restart, reset.

Going strong. Ew, gizzards. I love them. Do you actually? No, I don't. I don't love gizzards. I'm just spying the pole. You just like shock value.

Okay. A fear factor over here. You just like getting my reaction, what do you say? I love them gizzards. No, I don't. I don't like the gizzards. But I love turkey, white meat only. Sick.

And I love stuffing. My family doesn't stuff the turkey. So you usually take all the innards out and you stuff the turkey. And then you eat the stuffing out of it because it gets all the flavor from the carcass. But I don't go for that. We cook our stuffing separately and it's delicious. You know how all the kids are doing that it's the this for me. Yeah.

And they like, like, okay, if you were doing it with me, it would have to be insults. Like, oh, no, we're not doing that. Oh, good. But it's turned into such a trend on the internet that now some positivity is getting in there. So like for Thanksgiving edition, it could be like, it's the turkey for me. Oh, I can. But let's go the other way. Okay.

Let's keep it negative on this podcast and do the, it's the negative way for me. Let's do Thanksgiving edition. It's the, for me. But wait, I have one quick question, though. Thanksgiving is not celebrated in Canada. Yes, it is. When? October.

Oh, happy Halloween. Thanks. But you don't call it things. So you call it Boxer Day. No, it's Boxing Day, and that's the 26th of December. Oh, shit. So you celebrate Thanksgiving. What do you get?

Do you have turkey, little Tim Snortons? What do you get? All of that. Okay. We do it the same as Americans. We just don't have a reason. Got it. Yeah.

No pilgrims. No pilgrims. Our pilgrims pillaged. Yeah. And we were like, stole their land. We're just Canadian and we like being thankful. That's it.

Yeah. Canadians are the way to do it. So I already had mine. Jason cooked me a really nice Thanksgiving dinner actually. Oh, I love that. For my Canadian Thanksgiving. Yeah.

It's delicious. All the fixing. All the fixing. I, it's one of my favorite holidays next to Christmas. Okay. But then why do so many weird things come along with it, like the drunkles. Oh, yeah.

Let's start it then, shall we? Let's start it, shall we? Our negative Thanksgiving. Okay, it's, this is a little segment called, it's the blank for me, Thanksgiving edition. It's the, do you think you need that third drink, Caitlin, for me? It's the uncle asking if I have a girlfriend for me. Was he drunk? No, actually.

It's even worse. Sober as can be. Yeah, don't have the heart to. tell him I'm gay I'm gay uncle I like dick I can't say it to him not at Thanksgiving but he's a huge off the vino so he's finding out now my microphone okay it's the literally we just talked about this pulling out the insides of the turkey fair gutting the bird for me it's the I don't know if you have this in Canada but it's the jellied can of cranberry for me I love No.

It's one of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Jason can attest to this. I love the canned, jelly cranberry sauce. Really? Yes.

Not my thing. I like fresh cranberry sauce. Sure. Yeah. I don't, I don't not like that, but I like, you know,

anyways, it's the, hey, can I be on your podcast? For me, from a cousin who I haven't spoken to to. Years.

Since last Thanksgiving. Yeah. It's the aunt calling me a dumb-ass liberal. for me. Yeah, guilty. I'm a Democrat, but I got a lot of Republican friends

and family. They just don't happen to love it as much. Don't invite me to your Thanksgiving dinner this year. It's the, I cooked so you clean for me. I hate that. That is shitty. It's my mom making sure the house is sterile and perfectly immaculate for me.

Oh, see, I need that in a Thanksgiving dinner. No, but my mom acts like we're hosting the vanity Fair party. It's very intense. Like it's scrubbed down. Okay, now I do want to come for your Thanksgiving dinner. It's sterile as can be. And it's just, you know, it's a lot of preparation that goes into the Thanksgiving. Well, it's COVID. Yes. No, I mean, she's been doing this for 20 years, but yeah.

Oh, that's sweet. It probably makes her happy. It does. She loves to clean. Okay. Well, it's the turkey toots for me. Oh, the turkey toots. Yeah. Gets you a little gassy, huh? The bird? Well, that's why I don't eat the bird anymore. I quit the bird a few years. Yeah. It's the drunk cousin who tries to make out with me. We have very, very different family Thanksgiving. I know.

We have a huge family. So some of my cousins don't realize we're related and get a little tipsy and they want to have a makeout, Sash. Happens. Happens to the best of them. It's disgusting. It's the Ambrosia salad for me. Okay? Oh, I love Ambrosia salad.

Sick. That's gross, man. It's delicious. No, it's not. It's like apples and marvellous salad. marshmallows and cherries or something. Oh, all delicious things.

Oh, that's disgusting. It's the green bean casserole for me. I love the gine bean. The gine bean. Are you into it? Because it comes from a can and you love a good canned good. I do. I loved canned goods.

If there was ever a pandemic or... You'd thrive. You're thriving now. And I was prepared. I would thrive. I would feel like I was just having some of my faves for dinner every night. Yeah. You haven't had spam.

spam yet. I have not had spam. I have to cook that for you while you're here. But I don't eat meat. It doesn't really count. I think it's a mixture. It is meat, but it's so many different types that I feel like, just you have to try it at least once. It's a little bit of otter, a mixture of horse, perhaps. I don't know what it. It's a lot of different things. That's like hot dogs. It's all like from the pigs asshole. Oh. It is. And pigs are intelligent and they're sweet, sweet. I know we all love bacon, but there are alternatives I like turkey bacon see I should like turkey and I should like because I hate birds so I should like like yeah evil laugh while I eat their carcass but I just

can't get down can't get down with no fair enough yeah but I will eat a fish there you go but I didn't I just find out they have feelings and now it bothers me wait who did you find that out from that they that fish have feelings yeah it's a fun lie that people have been trying to tell us all along that fish don't have feelings. We're going to take a knee here for a second. You've got to admit that sometimes those apps on your phone can be pretty stressful and often not very fun. There are some apps I know I need to check or I even want to check, but they don't really

spark your joy, if you know what I mean. One app on my phone that never, ever fails to make me smile as best fiends. It's endless fun right where your screen is and it's there for you 24-7, Wi-Fi, no Wi-Fi, whenever you need some entertainment. I have pretty much convinced everyone in my family and friends to play the game now. Not that it actually took much convincing, but we're always comparing what level we're on, seeing who can beat their current level, and the fastest. You guys know I'm competitive, and that's definitely still the case when it comes to Best Fiends.

Plus, Best Fiends is free to download. Over 100 million downloads, this five-star rated mobile puzzle game is a must-play. You can come blame me if you end up being obsessed. Download Best Fiends free today on the Apple App Store, or Google Play, that's Friends Without the R, Best Fiends. Do you eat calamari? Not since I saw the movie you told me about. My octopus teacher.

Yeah, they are brilliant creatures. But is it weird that it made me want to eat calimari more? Because I thought, like, I don't know. I can get that in. Like it's a delicacy, like they sacrifice their lives for us. Oh, my God. Did you know? I, okay, I forgot.

Have you ever seen the show? I think it was billions? Billions. No. Blank check? Oh, she. Love that movie. It's a great movie, but no, billions, but there's this bird that people eat. Uh-huh. It's called an Ortolan or an Ortolan, O-R-T-O-L-A-N, I believe.

Could you use it in a sentence? What a tasty Orde-Lan bird I'm feasting on. Okay. And the bones are so soft, and it's illegal, I believe, to cook this bird because they're almost extinct or endangered of some sort. I don't know all the specifics. Don't at me. I'm not an Ortolaan expert. But I know this much.

Rich-ass people will eat them and you have to put a thing over your head to eat it. No. Jason will probably know about this. Oh my God. Alon Gale would know this. And you have to put a thing over your head and you eat it. And you're supposed to eat the bones and all they melt in your mouth. That's so sick.

That's the sickest thing I've ever hurt. Yeah. That's gross. I'll never forget. Jason and I were in Mexico and we went to one of those hibachi like grills where they're like the funny guy. I love a little. Teppaniaki, like a Benny Hana. Yeah, and he's always got to have a good sense of humor, like joking around, makes the same jokes to every family, every night.

And you're like, huh, you just said that to me last night. I was here. But the one guy goes, all right, he's chopping up, you know, Jason's meat. And he hands it to him. And he goes, and here's your monkey. And I was like, and everyone's like, ew. And I'm like, yeah, ew, just kidding. It's freaking cow.

Like, how is that any better? Cow, a big stinky cow. so good though I know yeah I'm such a carnivore I'm sorry I love the meat Are humans supposed to be carnivores A controversial statement

To answer it but I believe to get into that Let's get back to uh I believe so I asked a few vinos for it's the blank for me Oh yeah did they come through Of course they did Yep Katie Kent says it's the aunt

In the corner fast asleep snoring with her mouth open for me okay um that katie billows has a quite popular one it's the everyone asking when i'm getting married for me yeah why do family do that or why are you still single okay Megan Perrin came in hot with my favorite one nervous it's the avoidance of the tin hat wearing uncle for me Weird uncle. Our uncle is always so weird. We all have a weird uncle. I'm for sure going to be the weird aunt to my niece and nephew.

But like the fun one that's like, oh, she's kind of a witch, but she's so fun. Yeah. But she's always drunk, but we love her. She's always drunk and casting spells, but we love her. Hannah Bush says it's the blaming the turkey farts on the dogs for me. Jason and I are victims to blaming the dogs on toots. Now, this is a positive spin. And Ashley Sorensen, why do I know that name?

Oh, it's Steph. My girlfriend said, Ashley says, it's the having an excuse to drink alcohol at 9 a.m. in the family gathering for me. Oh, yeah. Positive spin. I'm not mad at it. Not mad at all at that. Do you have another one?

I feel like you've got one brewing in there. No. My sick brain. No, I'm tapped out when I said I've made out with my cousin. Oh, sick. This is, I'm going to, oh, someone else said it's the green bean casserole for them. I'm going to go ahead and end it with a with a good one it's the post turkey nap for me

oh man I love there is nothing better than the smell of the Thanksgiving cooking you've got friends and family over it's like this nostalgic we're all thankful and you eat and you're like oh I'm having a great time and you're having wine and then you're like and I am shutting down the shop yeah gotta go recharge the bats

perfect and you just go put on your oversized sweats and crawl under a blanket yeah and you can hear like the football game going on in the background but you're like in and out of a nap yeah and you got one of the best feelings it really is do you guys go around the table and I'll say something you're thankful for my mom would not have it any other way oh if we don't okay let's do it okay okay but jason has to be involved for this just for one no no no no you're in for this it's it's the feel good circle it's a feel good circle we're saying what we're thankful for and it's the feel good circle okay and our little pod yeah it's the pod with the whales and it's what we're thankful for so um i'm thankful i'm gonna start because it's my podcast just kidding i just want i just have this

in me that i need to say i'm thankful that i always get to come home to the most supportive little pod with Lowe and Jason and the two dogs. And Jason, I walk in and he goes, the dogs are fed. They've both had solid poops. You know how it is. Lo, he gives the checklist. I love a tardic list. I love the tardic list.

The dogs are fed. Here's a glass of wine. What do you want to eat for dinner? I'll order it from postmates. The dogs have pooped, both solid poops. Solid shit. Which is always a celebration in this house. And Lowe's here.

And then I look over and Lowe is like, here's my COVID test. I'm negative. I did it rapidly just so I could be with you today. Your towels are folded. There's one in the dryer just in case you wanted to take a shower and be warm when you got out. And I'm ready to wrap your little featsies. Remember the night that we all just laid on the couch and my head was on Jason's lap and my feet were on your lap and you gave me a little tutsy rub and Jay gave me a little head rub and it was we were watching Beetlejuice and it was just what dreams were made of. Pure bliss.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm very warm in the heart right now. Okay, Jason, what do you thankful for? Oh, low goes first. Okay, so I'm thankful for the fact that you guys are here in Hollywood up in the sky cage and just separated from the world. But I love that you guys are here and I'm able to spend such incredible quality time.

And I know you're working your ass off and dancing your heart out. We're all working our asses. We're all, sure, yeah. I think yours is more physically and emotionally taxing, just because it's like a lot to be rehearsing. Like, you got to be up in a few hours and so. Yeah. I'll learn a brand new dance.

Yeah. But I will say having the opportunity to spend such quality time with you and get to know and get so close to Jason who's here to. And just have this moment is so nice to have us all together. I just, I love it. And I always feel such joy and comfort in having you. guys here and I feel more at home here than I do even in my own home which is crazy to say but it's true we have really made the sky jail a home yeah we have yeah we have it's become our little

well we're a pot of whales we always like to call ourselves that so this has become our little orca home our little sea world where we're all trapped like shamoo she's our baby whale Because it's sad, but we don't endorse sea world. We are trapped in SeaWorld, just a pot of whales, enjoying what we have because we're family. Exactly. Yeah. And that's all you need. So I feel good with that.

And I just love you guys here so much. It's so nice to have you. Yeah. You are going to have to move to Nashville. I'm actually debating it at this point. And if you're not moving to L.A., which there's no way Jason wants to move to L.A. He's like literally like had to do his runs and like stepped in shit. and like your dogs have eaten so much human fecal matter and it's just been a lot um i think jay's

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Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. All right, so I am thankful for, I think it's been a really, really tough year for a lot of people. I do. Well, you know, there's a million people plus who have died from COVID. At one point this year, 20 million people didn't have jobs. And honestly, I think the tide's turning. I think it's turning. I think it's turning for the best. And today, it was a big announcement, Pfizer had their COVID-19 vaccine come out, and it was 90% effective. I'll never take it. 90%? No way. I'm not an anti-vaxxer, but I'm really nervous that although they're doing these tests for COVID and these vaccines, I want to know long-term effects. I don't want to grow a weird

tail or get some weird answer or something that's never been discovered because they don't know. You got to do long-term trials. So what do you attribute? What do you attribute? What do you attribute It takes up to two years to get a good trial run. The average life expectancy increasing every year over year. What do I think about that? Do you think that has to do with science? What am I supposed to say? Like, it's terrible.

No, it's because of science. Of course, yeah. It's because of science. I think it's a great thing that the life expectancy is longer now. But does that mean shooting myself up with an anti-COVID virus vaccine? I don't know. right now like if i said like when the the flu virus vaccine came out right yeah i don't know if you'd want to get it within like three to six months you want to wait it out a bit right i just want to

wait it out in the bird gauge yeah i mean wait it out here so anyway i think there's light at the end of the tunnel and i think uh 2021 is going to be an awesome year i agree and i am thankful for that you feel good about 2021 i feel great about 2021 You know what, Jason? We all just pumped each other's tires and you took it to COVID. Hit us with a... No. No, I think that's beautifully said.

And you're going to get that vaccine super soon. Yeah. We do need to get our flu shots, though. No, Jason wants to get the COVID vaccine like yesterday. He's... Oh, my God. No, you will not be the sample. No.

You're joking. No, I just, I would love the vaccine. If a vaccine can come out as soon as possible, I would love it. It'd be amazing for everyone. Can, okay, what if the vaccine creates some sort of internal, can you give it to me with your penis? Yeah. Because that's my only concern. Valid.

We don't know. We don't know. Very valid. I mean, gun to your head. And it said, you could get COVID and, you know, have long-term effects or die. Or you could get this vaccine and it's going to save you. But in your mind, you're like, I could grow a tail. Yeah.

What would you do? I'm going to go with, I'll take COVID for 500, please. Because. Too soon. Hmm. Oh, God. Of course, the jeopardy. I know.

I would take the COVID, though. I would take the COVID over the vaccine just right now. And I know maybe that sounds crazy. But I. But you don't know what the long-term effects. effects of COVID are. I know. I don't. But I rather deal with that than someone injecting my body with a vaccine that I don't know the long term effects. I don't know. Both of them suck. Yeah. But I guess I'll take COVID for now. Although I do have a friend of mine who has had COVID

and he didn't have a lot of crazy symptoms from it. Six months later can't taste, which is great. I mean, he's eating like all his vegetables and, you know, he has a very healthy diet because he's I can't taste anything, which is kind of like... Wait, if you lost your taste buds, would you just eat healthy all the time? Yeah, I'd literally live off kale and, I don't know, seaweed and whatever's healthy. Yeah, because I can't taste anything. I'm not going to have a donut. If I can't even taste it, I'm not going to reach...

I'm not going to have spade and sparrows. I'm going to go for some quervo. Yeah, might as well. Don't make me laugh that hard. Oh, my God. sick. Quirovo is like literally. Donkey piss. Ew.

I actually love me some quervo. No, you don't. If I'm in a dark place. You know what sucks is I think Quervo once asked me to do a brand deal and I genuinely was like, no. That's how much I don't like it. Like it's... Can't do it.

But you can, you're a tequila girl. You're not a vodka girl. I am a tequila girl. I love, okay, Artem today is we're talking about like drinks and how we've all grown up and changed and he was like oh i used to drink vodka and we're like well yeah and so we're talking to justina and i'm like oh justina do drink wine because i have wine i would like to give you um that i want to give all the cast and she was like oh yeah love wine and she goes and i love a martini and i was like oh gin or vodka and she was like i like both but i usually do vodka and arum's

like yeah i'm just not the same anywhere he goes i i'll have a drink a night or a glass of wine he goes but I'm just not the same like I can't do it anymore I can't you know I used to just take that was my drink shots of vodka vodka vodka vodka vodka vodka shots shot shot shot shot shot shot we're all like yeah we can't do that either we're not same we do he's like no I just can't do it anymore like that was his thing that's his normal yeah oh my god he would drink vodka like water yeah amazing yeah I love the russians oh I can't do it I'm like that with tequila though I I love tequila, too.

Justino was saying she can't do tequila. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Puerto Ricania. I'm obsessed with Justine. Oh, she's the best. She's a light.

She is funny. She's beautiful. She's hilarious. I really like her. She's very magnetic. Yeah. Good spirit. Today's episode is sponsored by Skillshare.

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slash vine and the first 1,000 people to use our link will get a free trial of Skillshare premium memberships. Receive free access to thousands of classes for a limited time. Be one of the first 1,000 to sign up at Skillshare.com slash vine. We are definitely switching gears because I got to end this with a laugh because I'm just you know what my ribs hurt I'm sore I'm trying to keep tracking on in this journey and I'm just I'm grateful but I'm in pain and I just want to end this with a good good old laugh that'll probably hurt me but I need it okay no what's the weirdest thing you've ever put in your mouth oh wow oh my god you just hit me with a little curve ball because this can go to a really dark place yeah

Weirdest that you've ever put in your mouth. Mine's probably like ramen's tongue. Oh, my God. I didn't put it there, but like it ended up there. And I was like, oh. It could also be human feces. In my mouth? Yeah.

Oh, from pulling it out of his mouth. Yeah. And I know, I know particles got into your mouth. I should probably get blood work done. You should probably get an E. coli test for that. I think the weirdest thing, oh, wow, what an interesting question. the weirdest thing to ever go in my mouth. Oh.

I knew you'd think of something. Pigsblood. Sorry? Get out. Like, you just look at me. Like, why are you still here? Yeah. I had.

You don't any longer have a room here. Yeah, I know. Pigs blood. I didn't even know it was that. I thought it was chorizo and eggs. But I went to a restaurant and they prepared pig's blood. and that one really shocked me to my core. I was disgusted by it, but I ate it.

It was actually not too bad. You eat pigs' but holes, but you can't handle pig's blood. Oh, you meat eaters are sick. Mercy. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. To each their own, I don't judge anyone. That's the same thing with people are like, I'm so sorry.

I didn't rescue my dog. I'm like, I'm an advocate for it, but I'm not going to like shame you for not doing it. I'm just suggesting to stop eating pigs. assholes. Okay, what is the reality show you'd choose to be on? And don't say The Bachelor. No, I don't, I don't even think The Bachelor would have me on because

Because I'm gay. You like needed to take a beat there to like break it to me. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, what? I think you could have told me to sit down for that one. Came out to Caitlin. Live. I think the show I'd want to go on, oh, is naked and afraid. I'd want to go on naked and afraid

Is that? You would think I would thrive on that Because you know I like being naked Yes, you do But I would On national television I have nightmares about that Fair

Today I forgot my choreography In the cha cha for one beat Because I was like Is my top up We didn't tape wardrobe There's no tape there Or my titty showing And I forgot

Naked and afraid Why I just think Well I You just would like Thrive being that vulnerable As an only child, I loved me some alone time, and I also don't mind being naked, and I don't mind being a little afraid, too. And I think I would be able to.

Kind of get off on it. I kind of get off on being fearful. And, yeah, I'd find some local berries and whatever I could forage. And I would just end up having the best time and probably win, because I would be calm throughout it. And everyone else freaks out because they need human interaction. Anyway, that's fair. Do you have your show? Which one? Big Brother.

Oh, big brother. Hands down. Yeah. Okay. What is the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever caught you doing? Porn. Okay. Yeah.

But it was, it came on on my phone and they connected to the Bluetooth in the car and I still had porn hub. And it was like, oh. Like, it was like, it was like the movie guy that like, coming soon. Yeah. I'm coming. Soon. Literally. It was a movie.

Movie trailer. Okay, what is the most outrageous thing you've ever gotten delivered from Postmates? Bag of Cheetos and a smart water. That was ridiculous. And I paid, I think it was like $25 to get it. Like, I needed in 15 minutes. It was something ridiculous like that. It was like two items from a grocery store.

I did that with like, I got tampons and like a toilet brush and blister pads like a week ago. Yeah. So specific. Okay. last one. You ready? Yeah. No,

I got two, actually. Most starstruck you've ever been when meeting someone famous was. Sharon Stone. That one did it for me. That was at the country music awards. Yeah. Then she was just a, she's one of those people that's so famous and everyone just knows that about her.

And she walks in, it's like, that's Sharon F'n Stone. It's like, I don't know. There's certain stars that have that, like, appeal. That power. Yeah, it's like you walk in a room and it's like she was literally where. wearing sweats and stuff. There's like a rehearsal thing and she just was a presence. Do you know who mine was?

I think I do. Who? I want to say it was either Britney Spears. I haven't met her. Oh, you haven't. Oh, I thought you got to meet her, a little meet and greet. Yeah. Whoa.

Weird. I just remember my dream I had last night and it was they were showing funny clips on dancing with stars and it was me dancing beside Taylor Swift. And I was like, yeah, I did do that because I really did. at an award show, billboards. But anyways, that I wasn't even,

I was starstruck when I met Taylor Swift, but like that wasn't my... I know who it was. Who? Kim Kardashian. No. The Kardashians.

No. The Jenner's. No. Damn it. Who. Macy Hensley. Who's that? Um,

what? What's that? Who's Macy Hensley? Macy Gray? No, no, no. Macy Hensley. What? I don't,

oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. She's the seven-year-old girl. From Ellen? Yes. She has extensive knowledge about politics. I find her so fascinating, and I got to meet her at the CMA's Red Carpet, and I fan-girls so hard. I was like, amazing.

She's so cute. Abraham Lincoln really cheated on his wife, and they should always say, like, random facts that nobody knows. And she talks like this, and she, like, hacks up her pants. She's like an old soul. She's an old soul, and I love old souls, and I really did fan girl over her. That's, you're, okay, fair enough. She's very cute.

She really is somebody fan girl. Yeah, she's adorable, and brilliant. Like, she's so smart. The facts that she has, it's like, wow. Okay, are you ready for the last one? Yes. The weirdest thing you'd find in your nightstand. Oh, wow.

The weirdest thing I'd find in my nightstand would have to be, Oh, I'd have to say a taser and a knife. You almost tasered me one time. I did. I almost taser you. I was trying to protect you, Queen. Yeah, I know. But I do keep a taser and a knife next to my bed at all times.

And hopefully a gun soon pending my gun license. No! Bang, bang. Shoot. I'm terrified. Okay? I'm terrified. You are so scared.

I mean, you do live in a. A scary city. It's an intense city here. And I've had crazy situations happen to me. So now I'm just being prepared. I don't want to live in fear. I just want to live in protection just so that nothing happens to me. So I want a gun and I always have my taser on me and a knife.

Just any listeners out there. I mean, I live by myself for a while. I did. I'm saying for a while with nothing but a good old fashioned security system. Yeah. Brink or whatever. called, I don't know. Vivant.

Great. Yeah. But you don't, you don't want to have pepper spray or a knife on you? One of those weirdos that I'm like, nothing bad's going to happen to me. Oh, my gosh. I know. I'm sorry. I'm getting you a taser for Christmas.

Okay. Just to keep in your bag at all times. But what if I, like, accidentally taser Jason when he scares me and like. Amazing content. TikTok. I mean, hopefully don't, but I just think having a, I don't know. I've had, again, in L.A., crazy stuff happens, so I got to be prepared. I mean, I'm in the main streets of the South where my neighbor could come over and ask for a cup of sugar.

Yeah. God, I love Nashville. It's the best. It is the best. Okay, well, I feel like podcasting always goes by so fast when I have. It does. It's so fun when I can have just like a conversation instead of an interview and play games. I love both, but this was nice.

I haven't been here in quite some time. Yeah, it feels nice. It feels right. And thank you for podcasting with me. We definitely lost Jason within the first 10 minutes because we started going on our own little banter. He's like, I could be getting a lot of work done here. He wanted to be productive. He's clowns.

Shark take. I'm out. We lost a whale in our pod. Let's call from Katelyn Bresco. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Offlevine with Caitlin Brisco. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com,

the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?