Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Madison Prewett

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

Former Bachelor contestant, Madison Prewett, comes on the show to finally speak out about her experience on The Bachelor! She tells us all about how she fell for Peter and how she struggled on the show following her values. She explains the pain she felt from his family and what it was like to ultimately walk away from Peter. Later, she spills confessions and answers some questions! GEICO – Go to geico.com, and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance   HUMANN – Get your Super Grape Soft Chews at Supergrapes.com/VINE and get a free 30 day supply with your first purchase. ABC’S THE BACHELOR PRESENTS LISTEN TO YOUR HEART – Mondays at 8/7 Central   BEST FIENDS – Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play TALKSPACE – Use code VINE to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the showSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who's down with OTV? Who's down with OTV? Who's that with OTV? Podcast One presents Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Get ready for lots of laughs. Taboo topics. On filtered advice and wine.

Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. All right. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Brousseau, today on the pod. I'm getting a chance to sit down with someone we all got to know on the most recent season of The Bachelor. She made a huge impression on all of us from her insane basketball skills to her fun-loving personality,

to her unexpected reunion with The Bachelor himself after the season finale. I'm very excited to hear about her experience. She's trusting me, so we're going to make this a good podcast and get to know her beyond what we saw on our TV screens. I'm a big believer in getting to know people. be on an edited TV show that I love dearly. So please welcome to the podcast, Madison Pruitt. Hi, Madison. I'm so happy to be here.

I'm so excited. We're going to have a great time. We are going to have a great time. We're here over Zoom. I wish we could do this in person, but this is life. Where are you quarantining? Quarantine life. I am quarantined in Auburn, Alabama.

Oh, you're home. Okay, that's good. Yeah, I'm home with the family, thankfully. Oh, good. So I have them here because I am an extrovert. so I would be struggling if I was by myself right now. So thank you. Are you really an extrovert?

Oh, my gosh, 100%. Oh, see, that's so interesting because, again, you think you know someone from TV. And I bet you think I'm an extrovert. Yeah. I'm not. Wait, seriously? I mean, I can be. I can adapt.

But like, I think over the years, I've actually switched. I used to be. And now I feel like I'm more of an introvert, which is so crazy. So are you thriving in this quarantine time? Riving. like absolutely thriving i feel like i'm in my happy place i can work from home i get to stay home with jason and the dogs i'm just like sleeping and just stay i'm loving it i'm like okay we're you know a couple months and i'm i'm ready for it to be done but i'm also i'm okay i'm okay um so obviously

we have a lot to get into regarding your season and thank you again for being open to talking to me about it but you really haven't spoken out much since the season i mean usually there's so much press to be done. Obviously, it's different when two people are together and they go do the press together. But usually you're able to speak to someone or some outlets or do something. So can you talk a bit about why you really haven't done any media? Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. I am really excited to be here and just share my heart. And like you said, show a little bit more about me behind, you know, not a TV screen. So yeah. So I would say I I don't know I came off of the finale and a lot went down obviously as you as you got to

see and so I don't know I kind of wanted to just take time and just honestly take time for myself and just focus on me and when I you know decided I wanted to kind of address some things and speak out I wanted to be in a really good place and and just be feeling feeling good and feeling like myself again. And so I would say that was kind of the main reason I didn't just kind of jump the gun and start, you know, with press immediately. I knew that there was just so much that had happened and stuff I just wasn't ready to quite talk about yet. I think it's really important that you take time to yourself and to process all of your emotions because a lot of people watch and think you're a character on TV when you're a real human being trying to navigate the feelings of

love, heartbreak, all things that are really, really hard just as a human being, let alone on national television. So I think it's cool and important that you did that for yourself because if you're anything like me, I totally react with emotion and not logic. And if I give myself the time to process and work through things, I can then speak with logic, which is what people want to hear, although emotion, you know, that's fun and makes for good TV. But it's better to you know, once you've had some time and you can really speak from your heart about all these things that you went through. So I love that you took time to yourself. I'm grateful that you were allowed to take time for yourself because a lot of times, you know, it's like, well, it's in the

contract and this is what you signed up for and that whole thing. So I think it's important. So I have so many questions. Like, how did you even get on the show? Okay. Yeah. This is a great question and a question that I've been excited to address. It's one that I've definitely gotten a lot. And honestly, I mean, I've asked myself that a lot, just, you know, why did you come on the show and all of those things? But, and I don't know that I have, like, the most perfect answer for it all. But I actually, you know, I had a friend who signed me up for the show. I had just recently gotten out of, like, a four-year relationship. She signed me up for the show in, like, December or something like that.

And then I didn't get a call until April. and I had completely forgotten about it. I thought it was a prank call. I had no, I was like, what's happening? And at first, honestly, I was like, no, I'm not doing this. But after really taking time to think about it and talk with my family about it, it was kind of something that I was like, you know what? I'm going to keep, you know, walking through the door as long as it's open.

And until I get to the point where the ball's actually in my court and they ask me to come on the show, like I'm just going to keep you know taking steps forward until I get there and then see you know kind of what I'm feeling at that point and so I really took a long time to think about it and it just was something I felt like I was supposed to do I you know I didn't know what it was going to look like I didn't know how it would go I didn't have it all you know thought through or what it would you know like if I got to this like point or whatever like I kind of just felt like I was supposed to go on the show and that I was supposed to meet Peter um and and I For that reason, I am so grateful that I went and I have, you know, no regrets. And I'm really glad that that I kind of got out of my comfort zone in that way. I think with my life, a lot of people, my whole life have kind of like put me in this box and they're like, this is Maddie. And like, this is how she's supposed to live and what she's supposed to do. And, you know, this is how she's supposed to find the love of her life and all these things.

And I'm someone, I'm a challenger. So I am someone who likes to kind of like transcend like the borders. the limitations and the boxes that people put me in. And I like, I really enjoy getting out of my comfort zone. And so for me, it just, you know, I'm down for love. I'm down for growing. I'm down for adventure. So.

Well, then you went on the right show. Exactly. I was like, this is great. It's perfect. It's true. It's hard when people tell you, you know, how you should do things and they think they know you, but I'm a big believer in risk taking and stepping outside your comfort zone because, again, like you said,

growth it like opens doors you never knew that would open for you and it's just important to do those things and again like just because you're you know you're down for love it doesn't mean it has to work you still experience those feelings of love you still had all these opportunities and and got to do something that you know that i i will put all of my money on that you grew from right oh my gosh no i that's something that i say i say all the time i'm like yeah the the show didn't end you know, the way that I expected to or wanted it to. And, you know, and that's a little, that can be a little sad. But also at the same time, you know, like I said, I have no regrets. And I can genuinely say, like, I'm a better person because of it. I'm stronger because of it. And I have grown so

much. And I feel like I learned so much about myself and about relationships, about love. And so for that, I'm very, very grateful. Of course. Yeah. And I know you said just a few seconds ago that you didn't know what it was going to look like going on the show whenever people say you signed up for this well you don't know what you're signing up for i don't care what these people say no idea no idea no and so i'm guessing like okay you did some research before going on the show you knew who peter was you i don't did you watch him on hannah b season so i i had never watched the show until hannah b season uh when i was going through the process of you know talking with people about going on the show i I, that's when I was like, okay, I should probably watch it and see who, who, like, some of these guys are and who could potentially be The Bachelor.

And so I did watch it. And I, and I loved Peter. And I was, I was hopeful that it was going to be Peter. I just, like, I don't know, I saw something really special in him and just, like, felt that, I don't know, I felt like we were supposed to meet. And I felt like, yeah, so I was excited when I found out of him. Yeah. So my next question then is you knew, let's just say that he was sexually active, open about talking about that part of his life publicly. Was that a concern heading into the season for you? You know, I guess to me, I never saw, I never saw Peter as the windmill guy. And I know a lot of people, I know a lot of people did. And a lot of people kind of, you know, put that on him. And after getting to know, him and after having just so many conversations and heart to hearts with him, I guess to me, it was it was kind of heartbreaking that that was, you know, how a lot of people viewed him and in that way because he is so much more than that. And for me, you know, coming on the show,

for sure, that was something that we were different in. But, and I didn't know, you know, I didn't know if it would work or if we would even click or be able to, you know, work through, you know, some of the differences, but I knew what I saw on him and what I was attracted to. And that was, you know, someone who was a family guy, someone who was ready to settle down, someone who was adventurous, someone who was fun and outgoing and not afraid to wear his emotions on his, you know, on his sleeve. And so for that reason, you know, I was really, really excited to get to know him and to get to go on that adventure with him. Yeah. I think the show likes to you know Colton was the virgin

Peter was the windmill guy I was like slut shamed and it was a controversial thing about that you know like they that's the kind of stuff I guess that get ratings up so I mean you were open on the show about being a virgin it doesn't necessarily mean that you're not you need a guy that's a virgin it's just that's who you are

so it's an important part of your life and you didn't end up sharing this with Peter until pretty far into the season and I think everyone wanted to know why did you decide to wait to share that with him and the decision kind of process behind waiting and still like not fully going there yeah um here here's what i'll say about that you know i'll be the first to admit that i'm not perfect and i was not perfect through the process i didn't handle everything perfectly you know and and you know from being in that environment, you know, you're, you're in an environment like you've never been

emotions, emotions are running high. There's pressure like you've never felt. You know, there's cameras all around. And, you know, it's just a high pressure, high intensity environment. And what I can say is I truly, you know, kind of tried to let my heart lead me in every situation in every moment. You know, I'm someone who I don't, you know, say things or, or, or do things because I feel like I'm like it's what everybody else has done or how it's supposed to go or because people are telling me to or whatever, you know. So for me, I really tried to do the best that I could with the situation I was in and just let my heart lead me in those moments, you know? And opening up about, you know, something like saving myself for marriage and that

gift that I, you know, one day want to want to give to my husband, that is, that's a very intimate and vulnerable thing to open up about it's something i'm extremely proud of and like so you know grateful for in my life but i but it's still something that's intimate you know to talk about and that's something i wasn't just discussing with peter but i was inviting millions of people into that vulnerable place and so you know i wanted to really feel it out and make sure i felt comfortable i felt safe in the environment like it was the right time like it was the right you know moment to really go there. And like I said, I wasn't perfect. And I probably should have shared it. I probably should have shared it sooner. And who knows if it would have made a difference.

You know, of course, I mean, of course he's going to argue that it might have made a difference. But I mean, who knows because that wasn't the situation we were in and that wasn't what happened. But again, you know, I just, I truly tried to just let my heart lead me in all conversations in all moments and, you know, not not having, you know, people in my ear telling me like, you need to say this, just doing what felt right and doing what I felt comfortable with and when I felt comfortable with sharing it. And I know a lot of people were like, why didn't you say it outside of the hangar that night when you totally know that you're not comfortable?

And that's a valid, you know, that's a valid point. And what I will say is we were only out there for five minutes. So like it's not like we were having another one on one day. You know what I mean? It's not like it's a comfortable environment. He had just broken up with someone. that really meant a lot to him. He had just walked away. He had just sent Kelsey home. You know, someone he really cared for deeply. And I could see how much it had affected him and where he

was at in his mind, you know, mind frame. And on top of that, you know, I was, I only had five minutes. And in a conversation, you know, like I'm saving myself for marriage isn't something I wanted to rush or just throw out there and be like, oh, by the way, just so, you know, it was something like I said. I wanted to feel like the environment was right and that it was a good time. And he was in a good headspace and I was in a good head space. And we both felt comfortable in the moment. So that's kind of why I didn't then. But as far as doing it even earlier, like I said, I probably should have.

No. I mean, it actually makes sense. This is why I love being able to podcast because I'm like everything you said makes so much sense. Of course. And what people don't know also or maybe they do because I talk so much about it is that you don't have a lot of time with this person. So it's not like that's the thing you want to just dive into right off the bat. Like you want to build up your real connection and more important things and then bring that in when the time gets closer to these overnight dates that you don't even know if you're going to make it to. Exactly. It's like, well, why would I, you know, like I'm not going to tell you that I'm uncomfortable with it and then tell you, you know, all this stuff.

It's like, I don't even know if I'm going to make it that far. And on top of that, you know, we had the very first one-on-one date. And so that's obviously a conversation that I'm not going to share there. you know, on the very first day when we're like three days into this thing and we're like, don't even know anything about each other, you know, and then I don't know. And then our, you know, our second one-on-one date in Peru, like that was the time where I really opened up about my faith and how important that was to me my expectations for marriage and for relationships. I talked about my family, you know, if he were to come to hometowns with me, what that would look like. And then that's

when he shared with me that he was falling in love with me. And so I just, it wasn't really the time to to get into that kind of a conversation. And so again, you know, I probably should have handled it differently. But looking back at it now, I don't know that if the same situation was presented to me, that I would because I really feel like, again, I let my heart lead me in those moments and go with what felt right for me. That's all you can do. That's literally all you can do. So you can, you know, I mean, don't guilt yourself into feeling like you did something wrong. It's as long as you were leading with your heart literally nobody can fight you on that nobody but people will well of course but they're idiots question for the vinos do you own or rent your home i'm sure you do and i know for a fact

it can be hard work but you know what's easy is bundling policies with geico geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renters insurance along with your auto policy and it's a good thing too because you already have so much to do around your home. Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It's Geicoe easy. Visit guyco.com today. That's guyco.com. Regardless of Peter himself, like, I know you know the format of the show, and it involves

the overnight dates and, of course, with multiple women. So what happened in the process that you lost comfort? Was it just simply the fact that you fell more in love with them than you thought you were going to? man it is it's just like what you said i mean there's no way of knowing what you're getting yourself into and of knowing how it's going to affect you i mean every single day like i was battling something different and i and my feelings were growing stronger and stronger and you know outside of the hangar that night honestly i mean at that point i knew that i was starting to fall for this guy and i know this is selfish and i know what the show is set up to do but i was like you know what

i'm not going to apologize that i don't want the person i want to be with to be with other women like I want I want you to myself I mean I'm like I'm sorry I do like I want you all to myself I know that that's selfish and I know the situation we're in I probably you know are putting you in an uncomfortable position by by sharing that but he did ask us you know at the beginning to just be extremely honest and to share our hearts with anything we were feeling and just you know how important communication is in relationships and so that's all I was trying to do but yeah I mean it definitely and I'm someone who actually I'm extremely analytical and logical so for me the process was so difficult because I'm like constantly in my head all the time and you know I told him on a very

first one-on-one day I'm like dude I take things really slow and I overthink things and I don't rush anything I don't do anything because I feel like I'm supposed to you know when he told me he's falling in love with me I didn't say it back just because he said it to me like I wanted to 100% mean it and feel it and know it and so you know throughout the process that was definitely difficult because I was constantly like you know even for hometowns I was like having to stop myself from thinking about he's visiting three other families you know and so it's like I was constantly in my head with all of that stuff and and just that week I mean fantasy sweet week um was literally the hardest week of my life and I mean there was one time in particular where

I locked myself in the bathroom and was falling crying for like hours because I just was like, I don't know if I can do this. This is the hardest thing ever. And I want to be with this guy, but I'm having to like watch him be with other people. And so, yeah, I mean, like you said, it's just you can't expect, you know, the feelings that come up and how it, how it all plays out. There's just no way. And no matter if like, okay, for example, when I was on The Bachelor, one of my very first one-on-one dates was with Jimmy Kimmel. and Jimmy Kimmel was like,

Caitlin, how are you going to feel when, you know, fantasy sweets come and he's sleeping with your other women? And my answer was, oh, you got a test drive a car before you buy it. But then once it got closer to that time, I was like, no, I don't like this. You're like, no, don't, don't. Yeah, that was just my weird sense of humor.

Like, because your feelings do develop and no matter how much you know the format of the show or no matter how much you understand what's going on or who he is and that he has a past, it still doesn't take away. way difficult feelings that are real feelings as a human being once you fall in love right yeah absolutely and and here's my other thing you had your first one-on-one was literally meeting his family what is the difference what happened between barb then and barb at the finale what the heck like it seemed like it

was like okay well she met madison one that she's in with the family and then all of a sudden i mean we can get to that later but the one-on-one date with with um the vow renewal was it all like was it comfortable was it happy was it really what we saw oh my god and and so much more i mean you only saw a very little bit of it but like that day portion i mean it was literally like the best date ever like the best date i've ever been on um just getting to i mean there were people who were flown in from cuba like his whole entire family and so getting to see i don't know like being a part of such a intimate and personal day for him and for his family and then getting to meet all of the most important people to him like all of his friends

all of his family and then just getting to like i thrive in those kind of environments you know like i'm i'm an extrovert so i walked in and i joked with peter because i was like i felt more comfortable than you totally he was sweating through a shirt and i was like hey everybody let's so um no it was so much fun i mean we danced we we did a lot of like their family traditions and just got to hang out with and meet everybody. And it was, I mean, it was so much fun. And then the night portion, I mean, with the Tenil Arts concert, I mean, it seriously was the best day ever.

I mean, I remember getting back and journaling and being like, I'm screwed. How am I going to do this? I'm like, I feel like I've known this guy and I've been dating this guy, like, for so long. And, like, because, you know, I felt like I went from, like, I'm not just a part of The Bachelor and I'm not just, like, you know, we're not just casually dating. It's like I just met the entire family.

I felt like we'd been dating for a year and I was at the family Christmas Galler. Yeah, you, I was like, oh, she's in. Like, that's it. Like, that's, you are part of the, the Weber family now. Like, that's what I thought from the get-go. And I think a lot of people did see that too, which is so interesting that it was so, you know, happy and incredible and loving and, you know,

fast forward to the finale. So we saw you and Peter on the couch after the final rose. The entire, like, you know, thing with. Barb was really direct and how she felt about you in the relationship. So did you know about these feelings beforehand? And why did you choose to respond how you did in that moment, not apologetically? Yeah. And honestly, if I could go back, that's the one thing that if I could go back in that moment, I wish that I just would have just apologized and just been apologetic in that moment. I think I was so, I was so taken back and I was so hurt by the things that were being said

to me and this time that was so beautiful for me and Peter, like we had just been through this entire season. We had overcome so much to be here and we're trying to fight so hard. We don't know if it's going to work, but we're trying so hard to figure out if it can. And for that opportunity to kind of be taken from the both of us and to not really have a chance to explore that and to figure that out in that moment and for that to be the ending of the season I mean I walked off that stage and I have never cried harder in my life like I just I felt I mean I was I was so upset and I and like you said it's just like it's it's the person that I loves mom and family and so I guess for me it's like in that moment I just wish I would have been able to like I was so taken back I don't

think I could process everything but you know I wish that I would have been able to process it a little bit a little bit faster and just to be able to say, you know what? Like, I am, I am so sorry if there was anything that I did that upset you or offended you or made, made you feel the way that you feel like that was obviously never my intention. Like, I, I loved the Weber family. I mean, the, like you said, that first one-on-one date, I mean, literally every time I saw Peter, and I know a lot of it didn't get shown throughout the show, but every time we were together, I mean, he was talking about how much his family loves me and how much, and I was telling him, like, how much, you know, I loved his family and couldn't wait to see them again. I mean, we were

already talking about when we were going to see the family again. And I think what really upset her was just that time that they sat and waited in the house for while Peter and I were trying to figure our situation out. And honestly, like, all I can say to that is, again, like, I'm sorry. And I can't imagine, you know, flying halfway across the world and you have an expectation of what that week's supposed to look like and going to look like for your son and then you're in the house waiting for three hours. And so I apologize, but what I will say is, you know, I mean, I came into that not knowing if Peter and I were going to make it past that conversation. You know, I knew there was so much we needed to talk about an address.

And really, I mean, to be frank and not to be disrespectful to anyone, but like I wasn't concerned about my family, his family, or anybody else involved at that moment, my only focus was on Peter and I and just figuring out, can we move forward? Is it worth fighting for? You know, can we move past everything that's happened and, you know, figure this out? And so that was the three-hour conversation. And I didn't even realize it was, it's not like I had a clock with me. Like, I had no idea how long it was, you know, we were so locked in the conversation. And, you know, and it was him too. Like, it wasn't just me. It was him too. And it was him needing clarity with things as well and asking me questions and asking me, you know, why did you decide to stay and can

we work this out and how do you feel about me and all of those things that he also, you know, needed clarity in as well. And so, yeah, I mean, I truly don't, I truly, truly don't know, you know, where the big disconnect was. But again, I mean, I don't know. I'm just someone who, like, I'm always going to just like apologize if there's anything like on my end that that I ever did. So, yeah, I mean, I'd say that now, too. Yeah, but it's so crazy because it, like, the fact that you can't pinpoint a disconnect or where that, where something went wrong is wild to me because of how great that first, you know, you literally met all his family and loved his family and they loved you to,

he could be engaged to you and because you made them wait along with Peter. He made them wait as well. that that that would be such an issue you know what confuses me is that it's like okay hannah ann and him it's it was clear to all of us as viewers that his feelings to you were stronger um but that you know it was just easy with her with the family so because things were a little bit challenging and because you were a little bit more real with your feelings and and everything moving forward why was that a problem to them? You know, like, why was it a problem to everybody that you were trying to really take this

seriously and get through this with everybody? I don't understand. Well, and that's the thing. It's like there was an engagement in like three days, you know? It was something that, and I was very, very honest with Peter and with his family. And I told him, like outside, I said, look, like with everything that's happened, I don't know at this point how I feel and if this could work. and if I even want this work, I definitely can't give you an engagement.

And I told him, I know that that's what you came here for. So I don't want to be selfish and to, you know, stay and take that away from you. And he just, I mean, he was fighting so hard to say, like, don't leave. I want you. Like, don't leave, don't leave. And just ask me, you know, to go in there and to be honest with this family and that they would respect that and honor that if I was just honest. And, you know, I don't know.

It's hard because I'm like, I try, I always try to like, to the best that I can, try and see like the other side, you know, and like try and put myself in the other people's shoes. And, and I get it. Like, they saw obviously how different we were. And, um, you know, just, just that I wasn't 100% sure. And I'm sure that's not comforting to any mother, you know, to hear about their son. But I was never trying to be disrespectful in any way, but just honest and exactly where I was at and exactly, you know, how I was feeling. Yeah, I don't know. No, that all makes so much sense. If you're a fan of my show, you know I like to take care of myself. I have a busy schedule, but I stay active by riding my

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Walk me through the next 24 hours. You walk off that stage. You're bawling your eyes out. And was it just like too much for you both to handle it wasn't worth fighting for, which is totally okay because sometimes it's not. But what was that next, you know, 48 hours like for you guys? Oh, man. those next 48 hours were, um, were tough for sure. Um, I walked off that stage completely

blindsided and hurt. And like you said, I mean, I was bawling my eyes out. And we were all blindsided. I was like, what the hell is going on? I can't imagine how you felt. I was, uh, I would say that challenger side came out. I was definitely frustrated. Um, definitely letting those around me know how frustrated I was and how that that did not go as I expected or thought it would. And I would say, you know, I would say the biggest thing, honestly, with all of that, because, you know, everyone's been like, you know, that was the shortest relationship in the history of a bachelor. But, you know, what I would say to that is we came into that evening not together and we left

that evening not together. I mean, we said in that moment, like, I love you and I want to see if this can work. but we never said like we're in a relationship, we're doing this thing. I don't think people realize that. Yeah, and people didn't realize that. And that's the thing is like during that time at live, like that was when I kind of wanted to get some clarity with some things. I still like had to watch everything through that I hadn't seen and, you know, still

needed clarity with things and so did he. And so we were going to take that time to really talk some things out and figure things out, but we didn't get that. And so when we walked off the state, I mean, we were in the same exact place that we were in beforehand. And so really after that, then we were like, okay, well, I guess now we owe it to ourselves just to see, you know, like, could this work, let's be really honest, let's talk through things and, you know, just see where we can go from here.

And we took a couple days, you know, it was a long, a lot of long conversations, a lot of tears, a lot of smiles, a lot of everything. kind of emotion, a lot of back and forth. But we finally got to a place where, you know, we just realized with everything that's happened, you know, this isn't necessarily the best foundation to be starting a relationship. You know, you want to start a relationship with trust. You want to start a relationship where you feel safe and you feel comfortable and you feel, you know, just welcomed by that person, by the people that they care about around them. and I didn't feel that way, you know.

And so that was something that I was just extremely honest with. And, you know, how the finale went definitely played a huge role and why I didn't feel like it could work. And his, you know, his family means so much to him that I would never want to be the reason that there's tension, you know? And he's, you know, the thing about Peter is he is, he is someone who he's going to fight for what he wants, you know, and like he's not going to let. like when he has his eyes on something like he he's not going to let go of it um until literally like

everything is against him until like it's to the point where it's like okay like you have to let up um and he tends to also like have uh like rose colored glasses on and always see kind of like the the prettier side of things where this was kind of where we did balance each other actually out very well because i'm very logical and i see you know just the whole picture and just like I'm very realistic about it. And so, you know, through many conversations, I just, you know, I had to kind of be the one who was, like, being really logical about it. But we both, you know, came to a place where we understood, like, this just, this isn't,

you know, probably the best. And so let's just, you know, choose to walk away from this with nothing but love and respect for each other. And I know that we genuinely gave it everything that we had. and, you know, that's something that I feel like not a lot of people got to see, like, the fullness of everything and how hard we both really did fight and how hard and difficult it was on both ends and just all the things that we walked through. And, like, you know, when I went out to, after Chris Harrison came in my house and I went out to

L.A. to see him, you know, what a lot of people didn't get to see was I didn't go out there to say, like, I want to get back together, let's do this thing. like I went out there with a lot of questions. I'm like, so why did you get engaged? Why did you break off the engagement? Why didn't you come after me after you broke off the engagement? Why are you sitting here in California if you're still in love with me? Like I had I had a lot of questions, you know, and if you knew it was me the whole time, like why did you choose to, you know, treat Fantasy Suite the week, the week that, wow, the way that you did. And so, you know, I had a lot of questions for him.

And we ended that conversation just saying, like, there's no answer. Let's just, you know, take time to think about this. And again, and we went into finale kind of in the same exact place, not really knowing what we were going to do. But yeah, those next 48 hours were all over the place. A lot of highs, a lot of lows. I can't even imagine because, like, what was the process like of when you did leave? Because I feel like we didn't see much of it or, you know, or maybe I'm blanking, but I don't really necessarily remember like seeing the why of you leaving and how and what that process was like for you all of a sudden

it was like oh she's gone i'm going to propose to hannah ann and then like it was such a weird transition so what was that like leaving in your decision man um so i would say first of all like i i when when peter told me the news that he had been intimate with the other women um the reason i didn't choose to leave right then and there was I had realized all in one day, which this is just the craziness of Bachelor world, all in one day, I had had my highest high and my lowest low. In that day, I had realized I loved this guy and I wanted a future with him. And then also at the end of the day, I had realized that the guy that I loved had chosen to be intimate with other women. And you know, after I had expressed to him how that would make me feel and, you know, ultimately

what it might lead to. And so, you know, I think for me, it was, it was an overwhelming sense of emotions and a lot of things to navigate through. And I didn't want to make, you know, a rash decision in that moment. And, you know, when we were standing out there and crying, I know it showed probably like two minutes, but we were out there for probably two hours as he was just like holding me. And I was hysterically crying. He was hysterically crying. He might have been crying harder than me. He had like snot coming out. No, we were definitely very emotional and just, and that was the, that was the hard part. It was like, part of me was so frustrated with him because it was like, you know, you're telling me you knew what you wanted and that it was me, but then you chose to do something else, but then you're asking me to stay and it's putting me in an uncomfortable position, you know?

And so it just, it was like a hard moment where I was like a little frustrated, but I also didn't want to leave his arms. And so it was like, I was so torn with the emotions that I was feeling. And so I wanted to take time to think about it. And I left that night going into the rose ceremony the next day. I wanted to see him before the rose ceremony to talk through things, but time didn't allow. And when the rose ceremony hit, I didn't know what I was going to do. I mean, I truly didn't know if I should accept the rose, if I should move forward, not knowing, you know, how I felt and what I wanted.

to do like if the relationship could work and knowing at that point that there was no way i could get engaged so i kind of was was a little torn but um i don't know i just i saw him and i saw at that rose ceremony he was he was shaking so hard and he couldn't even look me in the eyes like he i remember when he asked me his head was down his heart was i could hear his heart beating was standing there and he asked me to accept the rose and i just was like man i don't know like i love this guy I want to give it everything I have just to see like I just I owe it to us and how far we've come and how we feel for each other you know just to have another conversation and see like could this go further um you know can we make this work and so you know the next time we were able

to talk was at the meet the parents and um outside of meet the parents and so that was when we had that time to talk and I would say because of how that went and just like because of how the finale went um that was one of the biggest reasons that i that i did choose to walk away um and and not just how it was handled and what was said but but also and here's the thing too like i i don't i didn't disagree with barb i didn't disagree with some of the things she was saying like i i saw all of the differences that she was pointing out as well um and and honestly agreed with them and i don't think peter and i were ever saying like no we're completely compatible this makes perfect sense this is great like we totally understood that we had at that point lived two

totally different lives and that we had different perspectives on things but we knew what we felt for each other and we knew how much we loved and cared for each other and so for that we were like oh my gosh let's fight for this let's try and make this work um but after yeah after meet the family and just um i don't know just the way that it kind of went and just you know the things that were said i think I took that night in the next day to just really, really think about it and, and pray about it, honestly, and just see like, okay, they are kind of right a little bit about some of these things. And I know I can't. And I, and I told his dad, too, like, I remember I had actually a really good conversation with his dad and I was crying and I told him, I said, look, like, I love your

son and I want the world for him. Like, he deserves the world. And I want the best for. him and you know he deserves his happy ending and if I can't give that to him then I'm willing to like walk away and break my own heart so that he can find you know what he came there to find and and and so truly me walking away honestly to me I thought was more of a like selfless act of me saying like I love you so much and and I don't know that this can work but you have a sure thing here you know you have someone here who is ready for you who can give you an engagement who does love you so much and is an incredible girl and so and i had said throughout the entire process if peter doesn't end up with me i want him to end up with hannah ann and so she was one of my

friends in the house i i trusted her i loved her and so at that point like i just was like this you know they make more they make more sense they're great together and and i don't know so i kind of that was my thought process as i had walked away um and you know as i as i got home and had time to process that I was like man maybe I should have like you know handled it a little bit differently and maybe like because because the whole time like we're having this conversation as I'm you know breaking up with them I mean he's sitting there saying like but I want you like he's like but like you don't understand I don't need the like run off in the sunset happily ever after like I love you like I want you and and so for that reason you know I wish I would have you know maybe

say to see what what could have happened But again, like I don't know, I'm a firm believer and everything happens for a reason and it worked out exactly how it was supposed to. But yeah, I mean, that was definitely a difficult time. I mean, you could see how affected we both were after, you know, that breakup. And I was bawling in the car for like hours and he was wandering off in the desert with snakes and all these other animals risking his life and all his emotions and feels. And so it definitely was a an an intense moment in a hard day. Speaking of The Bachelor, you love The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and of course, we all love Bachelor in Paradise. And now the next Bachelor chapter begins. The Bachelor presents Listen to Your Heart,

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The Bachelor presents Listen to Your Heart a six-episode event Monday's 8-7 Central only on ABC. After all of that and everything said and done, do you still wish those things for Peter, like the happiness that he deserves it, that he like needs his happily ever after? Do you still feel that way? Oh my gosh, absolutely. Yeah, no, absolutely. You know, when we, when we decided to, to kind of go our separate way, I mean, I, I mean, I spent like an hour and I remember I just,

like, grabbed his face and I just like spent an hour just reminding him of how incredible he is and all like just what like he's just filled with greatness and he's destined to do great things and I just like continue to just like speak life over him and just remind him of how great he is and that he has such a bright future and he is going to make the most incredible husband and yeah I mean I wish I wish the world for him um and yeah well that's amazing I don't know your friendship or what it was with Kelly but how because I'm sure that's all over your you know news feed and all the DMs. And so, um, obviously they're quarantining together. And were you two friends, um, during everything? Um, yeah. So this is when it gets, this is when it gets a little interesting.

Yeah. So we were best friends, actually. Um, we were inseparable throughout the entire process. Everyone joked that we were like the dynamic duo. Um, and yeah, I mean, really leaned on each other through that entire thing. I mean, Yeah. So, I mean, when I, I remember even when I landed from Australia and got home, like, she was one of the first people that I called. She was in group messages with me and my family. I mean, we were really, really close and talked like 24-7. So I guess I was, I was definitely hurt and thrown off by that whole situation. Again, like, I want the best for the both of them. I definitely was thrown off. And I think what was really, I mean, to be honest, what was really confusing to me is that two days before he was spotted in Chicago, he was like calling me and texting me and being like, I miss you.

Let's get back together. And so, I mean, I think that to me was a little confusing. But, I mean, I don't know. I think like when you break up, you know, and like you're going through a breakup and you're going through a heartbreak and you're going through, you know, you just came off a show that was emotionally, physically, and every which way exhausting, everybody handles that differently, you know, and everybody leans on different things and treats it differently. Like, for me, I find it, I find it really

important after a breakup to take time to really, like, invest in myself and make sure my heart's in the best place possible before I'm, like, you know, pursuing any type of relationship because I'm like, you know, the next relationship I get in, I mean, I don't date. to date, I date to marry. And so it's like, I want, they deserve my 100%, you know, hard and I am. And so because of that, you know, I don't know. Like I take time to just like, you know, to pour back into myself, make sure I'm in a really good place and, yeah, and focus on myself. So I think we, we definitely handle, handle breakups very differently. And I'm not saying one's, one's better than the other but uh i mean that situation definitely caught me off guard it was

uh so there's no like phone call or no like hey i'm going to be hanging out with him or like what do you feel no not not not not until it got it got leaked it got like caught he got caught with it and again he had texted me two days before and so when he texted he texted me after it had been out for a couple days and just kind of like sent me this long long text um just kind of like kind of explaining himself but not really um and just kind of like sharing the current situation or whatever and i mean i was very kind back i was like look like this doesn't like affect anything for me like i i mean we went our separate ways like i'm it's not like i lost something here i guess but uh but i guess i and i told him kind of what i'm saying it i guess like what i'm

confused about peter is that two days ago you were like telling me how much you loved me and wanted to get back together and now you're you know with the one person that was like my like my best friend you know and it just feels a little hurtful and and they did that on my birthday on my birthday when all the pictures got leaked and everything went out it was on my birthday and he didn't text me on my birthday she didn't text me on my birthday and so I also threw that in there I was like it kind of felt like it was kind of like a jab at me to do that on my birthday and and to not even, like, reach out or anything. It was a little hurtful.

But, again, like, I mean, and I say this, like, genuinely meaning it. I mean, I saw something special in Kelly. That's why she was my best friend. I saw something special in Peter. That's why I loved him and wanted to fight so hard to make the relationship work. So they're obviously both incredible and special people. And I, you know, I wish nothing but the best for the both of them, no matter what that looks like. you know i i know that peter is not my husband and he's not the the person i'm supposed to spend my

forever with i'm grateful for the chance that we had to get to know each other and to love each other but i know he's not the one for me and so because of that you know i mean i wish him i wish him all the best yeah but so what's your relationship with kelly now because that to me would be the most hurtful part like peter okay fine whatever is having whatever but kelly like so it's Is the friendship obviously not there anymore? No, I haven't spoken to her in a really long time. She, I don't know. I just like, I had heard things and I actually asked Peter about some of the things

that I had kind of been hearing rumors about him and Kelly while we were still trying to figure our thing out and just that there had been hang out, like hangouts and meetups and conversations that had been going. on while he was still with Hannah Ann and while he was also trying to figure things out with me. And I asked him those questions. And, you know, and I think it's like very interesting because his answers and her answers like very much contradict the current situation that's happening right now. But, you know, that is, it is what it is. But, you know, I think like, yeah, to me that was the most hurtful thing because, I mean, she saw like, I mean, we watched them

so much together. And, you know, like that was a friendship that, I thought was going to, like, I thought she was going to be in my wedding, you know. I thought we were going to be best friends for life and just, just, I don't know. And just like the love that we had for each other and the level of the depth of our friendship, it just, I guess, like, really confused me that with just things that we had talked about and things that she had said to me about Peter and about me and Peter and about her and and all that, like, it was really confusing to me when I saw all of that and just that, I don't know, that I didn't receive any kind of like a heads up or any sort of, you know, a text or an explanation

of why. I mean, I'm not saying I necessarily deserve it, but I kind of feel like I do because, like, we were best friends, you know? I think you do. I think you do because of the, if she wasn't one of your close friends, I would say no, but because she was. It's, there's so many things that it's hard to look back on or or expect things from and and everyone will have their reasons as to why and it's hard in those situations you know when you you are feeling like upset about something that one of your friends did you have somebody that you were in love with and now this is happening and it's like a heads up or a call or a text goes such a long way when you know you know somebody's feelings are going to be hurt so that's what i was getting at it's like in your situation and my situation it's like you know that takes five minutes to like send a text just to like make a call you know and and it's like I don't know if the roles were reversed like that would be like the first thought that I would have like you know I want to take it to this person first I want them to hear it from me first and so man I don't know it's it's one of

those things that I'm like I'll never fully understand people but that's okay I mean people probably never even fully understand me so I mean no you'll never fully understand we have to talk about this because it was one of my I died laughing at all these comments about your eyelashes because girl the I said this is how you know you're a loved person on TV when all people can find to like tear you apart about are your gorgeous eyelashes like that's it

that's all people could find they're like God she's so great and she's sweet and she's loving and she's kind and she has good beliefs and morals and values but but her eyelashes man let's rip those apart it's so funny because i so my whole life i've always gotten asked questions about my eyelashes like forever and you know obviously you go on national tv and people just pick you apart for absolutely anything um but i don't know it's so funny because i would i would say like 70 percent of like if you went through my ds right now probably a hundred thousand of them would be asking me what mascara

I use and how I do my eyelashes. And so it's like a lot of people appreciate them. But then obviously there's the flip side where you have people who are like, why your all lashes look like spiders. And I'm like, I don't know. Like I didn't make them. I don't know. I don't know.

God gave them to me. I signed for it. The world keeps on spinning. I just have gorgeous long eyelashes. Like it's so funny because the love usually comes through and, you know, the DMs or behind the scenes, but the hate is very loud. That's so loud. Yeah.

Yeah. Although those jojointed people. And in everything in life, I've learned, like, one of your, like, greatest assets or the greatest thing about you or the greatest, like, strength that you have. Like, there's always going to be people who are going to try and, like, you know, like, who can't appreciate that. And, you know, I don't know. I just try to, like, tune it all out. But I also think it's kind of funny. I'm like, hey, I mean, if you want to, like, you know, compare me to, like, granddaddy long legs and pep a pig, like, that's fine.

It's fine. I think it's kind of funny so honestly it's fine it is funny and you have gorgeous lashes and that's just such a ridiculous thing all right we're going to take a quick break to talk about how we all need a break every now and again but why not keep your brain active while you relax well let me tell you you can and that's exactly why I love the fun puzzle games best fiends I actually had a few people tweet me and say they understand my addiction now it's a super fun game that also keeps your brain active and you can take it with you everywhere you go because it's on your phone when you need some me time best fiends is a fun escape from the every day there are thousands of challenges and tons of cute characters to collect along the way i've been obsessed with best fiends for a while now and the game is constantly changing evolving updating so seriously it never gets boring and it actually just gets more fun as you go along now that i've gotten to some higher levels i find that i really have to work on my actual strategy to get through the game so it's always a

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Google Play. That's Friends Without the R. Best Feens. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, I'm Autumn Calabrese, and I have a question for you. How do you do life? I might be a superstar trainer, but I'm also a boy mom, sister, daughter, friend, and entrepreneur. You might think my life is all working out and cooking healthy, delicious recipes, but trust me, there is so much more to it, and this is it. This is all of those real moments you talk about with your family and friends. Ever wonder what else life has to offer?

Bring your curious appetite and let's do life together. Subscribe now at Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Podcasts1.com. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Okay, so we're done with the serious stuff. I'm really just thankful that you were open and spoke from your heart and just decided to have that conversation with me. So let's have a little fun now before we end this. Let's do it.

I'm just quarantine. Let's have some fun. Yes, girl. I've been sipping wine this whole time. I'm ready for some fun. Everybody knows I do confessions on this podcast. Something embarrassing and embarrassing story. you want to get off your chest that nobody would know about give me your best confession right meow

girl i could i could do we could do a whole podcast with my um just my embarrassing moments and confessions i mean i i am someone it's so funny my like my family can't take me anywhere i mean i embarrass myself all the time and i don't i don't get embarrassed easily so like it's like embarrassing things happen to me but i don't necessarily get embarrassed easily um oh my gosh which one to go with. I, I mean, I have so many. Okay, should I, should I share like a really, really big one that like scarred me when I was like 13 or should I share one that happened more recently? Why don't you do both? Okay, let's see that. Okay. So when I was 13, I was at one of my best friends pool parties and we had like the whole like, I mean, you know 13, it's like that really

awkward stage where you're like super uncomfortable with yourself. You're like, why is my body the way that it is? Why do I look the way? You're trying to figure yourself out. And everything's changing. Literally, everything's changing. Like boobs are starting to grow. You're like, I mean, but they're not boobs. Every other girls were. But that's me. And so I remember I was, I was standing like about to jump in the pool with one of my friends. We were like taking a cute picture. And the whole like football team was behind us. And, And we were about to jump into the pool. And as we go to jump in the pool, I had on a string bikini.

She grabs this, like, she accidentally grabs the strings. And my pants come completely off. And I'm, like, mid-air. And, like, literally the whole, like, football team sees my butt. And I am, like, petersbide. I'm like, everyone just saw my butt. Like, everybody's just talking about it. And it's, like, the most uncomfortable thing.

And not to mention, like, the people that were, the poor people that were in front of me, who also did you say someone was taking a photo at the same time? So like please tell me you have that photo. I know, right? I'm like, I honestly, I need to ask that person.

I'm like, I would love to know if that photo was ever taken. It'll come back like and haunt you now that you've been on like national television. That person's going to be like, I have a picture of her 13 year old. Yeah. That's so funny.

I mean, honestly. But yeah, so that was my horrible story when I was 13. and I was scared to wear string bikinis after that. Of course, I still am. That was that story. A more recent story was, okay, about two years ago, okay, you know like the worst thing ever is when you try and send someone something

and you send it to the wrong person? Yes. Like literally the worst thing ever. Yeah. And I was dating a guy at the time, the guy that was talking about earlier that I dated for four years. I was dating him and, um, So his name started with a certain letter, and this other person's name started with a certain letter. And I sent this, like, long voice memo, just like lovey-dovey, like all this, like, all these sweet things, you know.

And I looked down 10 minutes later, and I had sent it to my pastor. To my pastor. I'm like the one person that I probably shouldn't have sent this to. And I sent it to my pastor, I was, like, cringing for the next, like, week. That was the one time that I was actually very embarrassed. And I texted his wife and I was like, please, please, please know. That was meant to be sent to my boyfriend. That was not me hitting on your husband.

Like, please go delete on off of this phone. I was so embarrassed. That is literally the one person you would not want to send you, like an accidental text to you. At least it wasn't like, at least it wasn't like, like, you know, a little more inappropriate. Like, at least it was like, sweet and loving right it was yeah it was more like mushy gushy but you know i mean definitely stuff you don't want your pastor or no any any adult but especially a pastor hearing about i will never forget one of my best friends in the world i i don't remember how old we were but she went through

a phase and she did something pretty inappropriate and funny and she accidentally pocket dialed her parents while telling me about it that was one then literally a week later something had happened where she was at a bar and her photo was taken and used on like girls gone wild um this is the craziest thing that's ever happened it was used on girls gone wild where she didn't even know that she had signed something to be on it and she was on like it was back in the day when you could to a movie store and like go to like the new releases and girls gone wild was actually in new releases and she was on it and her pastor had to sit her down no because of it yes yeah so horrible okay that one might be that might beat mine oh my gosh awful awful I know I'm trying to think if I have

one for you because I'm like I have to confess every week sometimes twice a week so I'm like do I did I write anything down or do you embarrass yourself easily I don't get embarrassed over. Yeah, see, I don't have anything. I don't get embarrassed. I'm the same way. Like, you can't take me anywhere. I don't easily get embarrassed. I'm trying to think of like anything that I've done in the last few days that I could be like, I'm sure Jason could tell you something embarrassing. But Jason on here. See you're the confession. That's when you know, those are the true confessions when you're like, tell me about me about me. You're like, oh, God. Yeah, but he'd be like, you don't care because you tell everyone everything anyways. Like,

I will talk about anything on this podcast. Anything goes, like, it's, it's so I can't think of anything. If I do, I'll, I'll do a voice note. I'll send it to you, not my pastor. And I'll add it to the podcast. Voice memos are literally my favorite. Like, it's how I communicate with, like, all my friends. But just make sure you send it to the right person because it can get dangerous.

I love them, too. It's like my love language. Okay, we're going to play Plead the Fifth, where I'm going to ask you three questions and you can plead the fifth to only one. So here's questions you get to choose from, okay? Okay. Who would you least likely run, like to run into from the Bachelor Mansion? And or, that's your first question, or you can answer, what was really going through your

mind on that couch when Barb was saying you wouldn't make it with Peter? Oh, God. I'm sweating. Okay. I'll go with the second one. Okay. Because truthfully, I genuinely did love everyone in the house. Obviously, we're all very different.

But I did love all the girls. What was going through my mind? Honestly, I think I was so shook that I just was like, what's happening? What's happening? What do I do? It was like one of those moments that you know, like you kind of feel, it's like this out-of-body experience that you're like looking at the situation and you're like, oh, you're you're in trouble what are you gonna you don't know what you're gonna do so I mean honestly it was and it was

so fast like those things are so fast it was like five minutes long so I mean I didn't have a lot of time to like really process but I mean I turned Peter and I was like Peter yeah because he didn't help you I was like you've been telling me on the phone for the past week how much you love me this is your time to say it right now no he didn't throw you any bones there he was like I think he was as shook as I I mean we were both like That's what I said I try and justify it for everyone

On everyone's side Because I'm like What do you do in that moment You know you're on live TV You're put on the spot You want to react in a mature way Logically not emotionally Like all these things

But you're like What do I do? So you freeze That's just what you do And Chris Chris Harrison looked at me And he was like Did not see that happening I was like Okay yeah

I text Chris after. I was like, what the hell just happened? And he was like, I don't know. He's like, I really don't know. All of us. All a bachelor's. Okay, here's your other two to choose from. If you watch the season back, which scene was the hardest for you to watch?

Or who from the franchise would you most likely go on a date with? Ooh. Hmm. Those are both great questions. I agree. Thank you. I don't know. Okay.

I'll go with the. number two. I don't know because I really am huge on personality. So, you know, it depends on like how our personalities vibe. And again, there's only so much you see on TV. And I've never met like any of them other than Peter. But Hannah Brown had a pretty, a pretty good cast, a pretty good selection. Yes, she did. Okay. I would say one, it's one person. It's one person I have to choose. I mean pick five I don't care I would say okay I would say there's there's three from her season

that I think are really cute and really sweet I don't know that I would ever vibe with them but okay let's see I would say Connor Tyler and Mike are probably the those are three really good ones

that are just like really attractive and really sweet just don't follow Connor on TikTok please have you seen his TikToks no are they bad oh dear lord i don't know what it is will it changed my opinion yeah i think he seems like such a sweetie and a cutie and so nice but i'm like i watch sometimes his tictox come up on like my you know that if i'm just swiping and i'm like waiting for something i'm like that was your tic talk you know that's if that's again that's like me hating on eyelashes if that's the only thing i can really pick out about him that's bad. Hey, but TikTok, it's important. It has become my life during this quarantine. So,

you know, it carries a heavyweight. There you go. Yeah. Just go watch and then we'll see. But Tyler, ooh, good one. And Mike, you haven't talked to either one of them? No, no. I haven't talked to any of, I mean, that whole thing came out with the Connor thing when we literally hadn't even talked. It was just him reaching out after finale, like telling me that I did, done such a good job. And he was just like here if I ever need anything. It just really, really, really sweet, but we never, like, were, like, talking back and forth. So, no, I haven't really talked to any of them, haven't met any of them. But, again, just from what I've seen on TV, they all are cute and seem sweet, but they

they all, well, I know Tyler, and he's very sweet, and the other two seem very nice. So those are good picks. Those are good picks. Okay. Either who is the most famous person who has slid into your DMs, or did you or did you not write genuine and real on your own Instagram post. Oh my God. Okay. Well, okay, no, I will actually answer that because no one will believe me and no one. I will. I'll believe you. It doesn't matter these days if you tell the truth or not because people are going to have their opinions and they're going

to believe what they want to believe. But the truth, the true story is that I did not write that. My friend really did write that. That's happened to me. That's why I believe you. Well, and it's so hard because when you have different accounts, if a notification pops up, like I've had to run like a couple business accounts before. And if a notification pops up, like, and you click on it, it goes to the other account. But what happened was when I was on the show, I had like all these photography accounts, like these different accounts or whatever. And my phone number and address and things like that were on there.

And people were like leaking it and getting a hold of it. And so my mom got one of her friends. to kind of like hack into my Instagram to take that down and delete those pages. And so she had access to like all my accounts and had kind of like helped me like take things down and run things a little bit. And, uh, and so she just was like accidentally on it and commented that. But again, literally, I mean, I honestly wish that it would have been me because I'm like, honestly, I think it's hilarious and I just, I just like want to own it. I'm like, I thought about buying one of Nick Biles shirts and and rubbing it and me like, yeah, yeah, this is, this is, this is my life.

But no, it really, it really truly was my friend. But, uh, but again, no one believes it. And and that's fine too. That's funny because Cleo, my manager and one of my best friends, she has access to my accounts. And that's actually happened with us before where she, um, went to write on one of my pictures. It was just, I, you know, wasn't as relevant as you at the time. So it didn't get picked up. It got picked up literally. Well, I, I remember she called me and she was panicked, like panic. And she was getting black. She was getting so much hate because people are people.

And she like DMs the account that picked it up immediately. And they responded. They were like, LOL, it happens. Like that's so funny. Like no worries. But they didn't take it down.

And so literally every account picked it up. It literally went on every magazine. And I was like, yep, that's great. I mean, honestly, I should start something with genuine,

genuine and real. I'm like, I don't know. It's, yeah, you need to like brand that right that's a great idea it's so funny because i'm like that's such an innocent thing just google my name during my time and see what pops up you'll feel a lot better about everything it's all it's it's it's with all of us it's like everybody like leeches on to something

and everyone has opinions about everything so totally it's the world we live in i get it um okay last one describe peter's basketball skills in one word or who do you think was a least compatible with Peter out of all the girls? Peter's basketball skill. Oh my gosh. I would say, first of all, after that hometown date, like, when it aired, those tweets about his basketball skills were probably my favorite tweets about the whole entire season.

They were iconic. His basketball skills in one word. Oh, man. Honestly, the first thing that comes to my mind is, tragic. I mean, it was just tragic. And it's like, I'm trying to obviously be like the girl, girlfriend or whatever I was, you know, at the time where I'm like, you're doing great, sweetie. And I'm like, these little middle schoolers that I train on a regular basis are doing better than you. But hey, I mean, it wasn't his thing and he'll be the first to admit. And so no,

no hate, no shame. But it was hilarious. That's really funny. All right. So being home so much, especially during a crisis like this, can be a breeding ground for anxiety. Without the stability of our normal daily routine, the mind can fill with the worst case scenarios, what ifs, and worries. You may feel lonely, but you are not alone. For Mental Health Awareness Month, Talkspace Online Therapy is more committed than ever to expanding access to support for anyone who is struggling. I love this.

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deserve support and you don't have to struggle on your own. Your talk space therapist can be your dedicated support system there to help you feel healthier and more empowered, even in the uncertain circumstances. As a listener to this podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on Talkspace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to Talkspace.com or down. download the app. Make sure to use the code Vine to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's vine at talkspace.com. Okay, well, okay, I have, how much time do you have? Do you have five minutes? Yeah, girl, I'm in quarantine life. I got it all night. I know. That's the thing. People don't have excuses anymore. If I'm like, do you have five minutes? You say no, I'd be like,

liar. Liar. You are going to put on sweats and lay in bed and watch Netflix. That's tough. Ooh, what are you watching on Netflix? Okay. I really have, our family has been more into movies lately. We really haven't gotten into a show. My family's been into, God, I forget exactly what it's called. It's like All-American or something. Yeah, I saw that on Netflix. Yeah. So a little bit of that. And then we watch the voice when the voice comes on, listen to your heart just started. I mean, there's a few different shows, but none that I've really gotten into on Netflix, because they've took friends off, which was like the best thing ever, because it's what I watched 24-7. If you'd like, I could reenact every season and every episode for you. I look at the titles and I'm like, I could tell you literally a full-on description on exactly what happens in every single episode. That actually, that would be a good game to be like, okay, this episode and you'd have

to tell me what season and like, which. Wait, can we play that? We need to do that one day. That would be so much. Well, we'll do. When we can actually do a podcast in person, we'll do like a whole friend's trivia game okay um okay so this one i just want to know because it's relationship deal breakers okay so just yes or no deal breaker or not okay first one first he's been engaged before he's been engaged before um no that's not a deal breaker for me okay i mean i'd want i'd ask questions for

sure i'd want to know why he's not i've been engaged before and i'm like what do you want to know yeah yeah it was a TV show okay yeah um you don't get along with his family yeah that's that's that's that's kind of a deal breaker it's totally a deal breaker for me uh he expects you to cook dinner every night i mean i wouldn't i would i would try and negotiate that i'm a really good negotiator i like that but because i i enjoy like eating in but i'm not probably going to be the typical housewife that's just not me so yeah Um, so like, I mean, if that's like a must and like they have to have that typical housewife, then like, eh, that's not me. Like it's not going to work out. Totally. Um, he has a bunch of inappropriate Instagram accounts that he follows. I guess it depends on like why and like what it is. Like naked girls. Oh, yeah. That's probably, there's probably some underlying issues there. I'm going to say that's a deal breaker. It would be for me too. Um, did that? Let's pick a couple good ones.

okay he's a fan of you from the bachelor um well is it like an admirable type thing or is it like i'm obsessed with you type thing that's you're finding a loophole here right because it matters it's like okay if it's like i really loved how you handled yourself like i'm attracted to you i like you okay no um he's so i'm going to go with the route that he's like obsessed and that's creepy so yeah that's a deal breaker yeah it is creepy Okay, and then he has no manners. Oh, no, that's deal breaker. Yeah, me too.

I need a, I need some manners. What about if he's a bad tipper? Tipper? Like at a restaurant. Yeah. I mean, I feel like that that's something that's not that big because I feel like those are conversations that you can have. You know what I mean?

I'd be like, why are you so frugal? Like, why aren't you like, you know? But I feel like that's something you could talk through, whereas kind of the other stuff. That's true. You can train them. Yeah. Yeah, you can train them.

Okay, well, to end this off, why don't you tell us what you learned the most about yourself through all of this and where everybody can find you? Okay. Okay. What I learned the most about my time on the show. I would say, honestly, it's just like something that I've kind of lived on my entire life, but it's definitely something that just like came out, more when I was on the show is like know who you are always stand up for what you believe in

and um yeah and don't and don't be ashamed of that you know and just because there's this pressure or there's these expectations of you um have high standards know what you want and don't settle for anything less than that um don't let other people define you don't let other people tell you what you should or shouldn't do uh know know who you are and know what you deserve and never settle for anything less than that. Oh, yes, honey. I love it. Snaps for you. And before people know where they can find him, I'm sure they already do. But is there anything that we missed that you'd want to touch on that we didn't? Is there anything you want to say to everybody that you just didn't get a chance to? You know, no, I mean, I think we did a good job of covering everything. I really,

I really am appreciative of all of those who have been so supportive and so encouraging during this time. You know, this is something that was really hard to walk through. And like you said, it's hard being in a position where a lot of people don't get to see all of you. They see, you know, what's on the TV screen in a little bit that there is on there. And like you said, like some of it's an edited version. And so it's, you know, they don't get to see the fullness of who you are. And that was really difficult. And so I just, I want to just like thank everyone, honestly, who have just been amazing and kind of rallied around me during this hard time. And I'm really hard on myself. And so it's really encouraging, I think, to hear affirmations from other people and to know

like, oh, I actually encouraged someone and I actually was able to help someone and help, you know, like one of my favorite things was I actually remember after I shared, I think it was the fantasy sweet date with Peter. I remember getting on Twitter. And I had all of these girls tweeting at me saying thank you for just like being unashamed of who you are and your standards like it's completely challenged me and and also one that that tweeted at me and said that she had had a bunch of guys or a few guys Snapchat her and say I'm sorry for the way that I treated you and deserve to be treated better and because like I see that you know there's value in treating women with respect and women who have high standards like you know I apologize

guys for not doing that. So that was like really, really touching and encouraging and just to know that, you know, you go through something hard and to know that you're able to somehow like encourage someone through that is, is really encouraging. So I just would say thank you to those, you know, who have come alongside me. But other than that, you know, I mean, I feel like, you know, I feel like we did a good job on touching on a lot of things. We did a really good job. And I can't believe I didn't bring up the whole time that you hung out with Selena Gomez. that's cool she's great she's amazing i love her she seems great and amazing i just i think she's such a cool role model and like a good um a good person that's out there in that world so that's cool

that you have someone like that she was so and that too was like she really came alongside of me um i mean i hung out i spent time with her right after the breakup so uh she was really an awesome person just to lean on and just had so much wisdom, so much advice, and just did such a good job of loving on me during that time. So, yeah, she's amazing. Just as literally the most incredible human and just as what you would imagine her to be, she is in times to end. So I have heard that. I have heard that through many people who have met her and know her that she is the real deal and very sweet. And she seems that way. So that's, and she's been through her fair share of, you know, media and relationships. So good person to have a lot of advice for me lots of advice i'm sure and then where uh where can everybody find you

and what do you have coming up next um so as soon as this quarantine's over my plans are to move out to l a and uh to kind of start i don't know this new chapter i'm young i'm single i'm like let's uh let's just you know i don't know i'm like i want to be adventurous and try new things and just kind of just put myself out there i've lived in alabama the whole life so i'm like let's do something new let's try something new and so I'm going to go out there I don't know if I'll love it might hate it might end up moving but my love it might say forever so never know you'll find out and uh Instagram TikTok tell me all the good stuff um Instagram at mattie prue uh TikTok at matty prue you can find me catch catch me on TikTok that is where I'm spending pretty much all of

my time during quarantine when I'm bored out of my mind I am scrolling through TikTok and trying to remake these dances 24-7 so it has been my favorite thing honestly during the start it's it's addicting it honestly is addicting i'm like someone needs to take this away for me yeah i know it's literally it's literally all i do and then jason will bust me like trying to like learn the dance it's so funny they we need to do an account like someone needs to do on like the behind the scenes of like failing every tic talk but well thank you so so much for coming on the podcast and sharing your side of the story and I know from personal experience that things can be really difficult and challenging but I mean so much light and so much beauty can come from this

as well and I'm sure you learned a lot along the way so and then maybe just you know when this comes out add a link and swipe up for your mascara right tell the people what they want to know give the people what they want thank you so much And I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?