Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Michelle Young: Life & Love After The Bachelorette (Pt 1)

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

Michelle and KB are reunited and it feels SO good. Nearly two years after her Bachelorette “journey,” Michelle is sharing what life looks like now, from shifting her career to choosing to remain a part of the Bachelor franchise to continuously learning more about herself. The two are getting into Zach’s season of The Bachelor, including what Michelle thinks of the women of his season after meeting several of them and why she feels she lost out during her time on the show. Kaitlyn learns why returning to the classroom was both Michelle’s downfall and saving grace, and why Michelle has decided to share her experience with anxiety and mental health through social media following the show. Plus, they’re talking about the ridiculous notion that women lose value when they’re not part of a relationship, the highlights of their year so far, and dealing with keyboard warriors. Stay tuned this Thursday to hear part two of this convo, where Michelle dives into her new career endeavors and opens up about her breakup. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: PELOTON - You can try Peloton Row risk-free with a 30 Day Home Trial. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial  STARBUCKS READY-TO-DRINK COFFEE - Available now, online or wherever you buy groceries THUMA - Go to Thuma.co/vine to receive a $25 credit towards your purchase of The Bed plus free shipping in the continental U.S. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Get ready to laugh, connect, and feel empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine, lots of wine, and get candid. They say vulnerability creates connection. So save the highlight reel for Instagram, because when we're among vinos, there's no filter. It's time to unwind. Here's your host, Caitlin Bristow. This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Peloton. Peloton workouts are made to work for you,

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And Thuma. Go to Thuma.com slash buying to receive a $25 credit towards your purchase of the bed plus free shipping in the continental U.S. Welcome to Octavine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Hey, remember when I was a quote-unquote mentor on The Bachelorette? Yeah, me either. Just kidding. It actually feels like yesterday. But I cannot believe you guys. It's been almost two years since I met this incredible woman that has joined me on the pod today. The one, the only, Miss Michelle Young. And what a freaking crazy two years it has been. We talk all about it, the ups, the day. the lefts and the rights and how after coming off the show we all live in this weird little world where we hang out with our exes and our exes exes what don't worry i get all the deeds for us she also talks about what it's like watching this season of the bachelor and how she can enjoy getting to know the women from this season because she co-hosts bachelor happy hour podcast and of course

we get a little carried away once we got the chance to catch up so we are breaking this up into two parts okay i was going to apologize but honestly it's just It's just more Michelle for everybody, and who doesn't want that? So I am not sorry. Enjoy part one of my podcast with Michelle. Wait, I'm so excited to talk to you because... I literally wish I could jump across the microphone to hug you. I miss you so much.

I feel like that last time we hung out in L.A. I was like, we need to live in the same city because that was... We just are too much fun together. Really, honestly, we could have our own TV show, truly. we should we should let's okay noted okay make note of that is it that easy i will it's that easy it's that easy it can't be it can be i'll fly it i'll come to you we know people that know people that are in the tv business i guess that we can just see throw it out there see what this is baby no really the whole the whole ticot the whole ticot vibe together it's so fun so fun i'm drinking wine

and just doing TikToks and laughing and then that dinner place we went to. Do you remember what it was called? The cast, was it cast away or was it cast away? Cast away. Up on the hill with, like, it was me or you and is it? And low. Low. I still see.

Oh, my gosh. I love him. I know. He's amazing. That was so romantic. Also, can you believe it's been two years that we filmed your season? Ew. Wait, two.

Two years. No, it's not two. there's no it's one it's one almost two oh wow i feel so old the fuck isn't that crazy it it does feel like it was less than a year ago but also forever ago at the same time is it okay do you feel like that do you feel like you filmed your season like just yesterday or like it was ages ago now are you like thank god or are you like oh i kind of miss it i'm or both um a I miss certain things and certain people, but could I ever do that again? Absolutely not. Even if I was single and they offered me a lot of money, I still could not put myself through that again. But I do miss certain things and certain people. But it's, well, every year feels like a time warp. But especially since I had been on, I mean, that's what like seven years ago now, that was my season. Holy crap. That's crazy. Yeah, where are you at in your journey? Man. No, we don't use. No, I was talking about this. At one point, you really do switch the word journey to something else, whether it's like adventure, whether it's like climb. But then you just go back to journey because you get over the like trigger words that trigger your memory to the show and then you get over it. Because now I say journey and I don't even think about the show. Okay. So when did you start doing that? Was it at year six, year seven? How many more years do I have to go?

Like a few, yeah, like a few days ago. no it is no it's still so fresh for you i feel like where like where are you at in your processing journey of what you all went through are you like you know how there's certain phases of grief where you're like angry and then you're like grateful for certain memories and then you're sad and then you have like trauma and where are you at in your journey of coming out of that whirlwind honestly i feel like my journey as i took that back right it's it's at such a different place because I had such a different experience as far as like traveling goes. And so the things that I'm not a big person who believes in regrets, really,

because you're just spending more time wasting on the past and you can't change it, right? But I really do feel like the whole lacking of like traveling. I really didn't get this whole Bachelorette experience, whether I was a contestant, in a bubble or I had my own season. And as I'm very, very grateful for my experience and the platform it's given me and the opportunities, it's given me like this itch to travel was not scratched during my time there. And so I think that's the thing that kind of like arises more frequently of, you know, you see all these people traveling. You're very happy that they get that experience. And I'm like, damn, I landed in this like perfect amount of time where I,

I was a cast member in a bubble and I was a lead in the bubble and that's what's tricky. Let me make you feel better about that situation because when I was on The Bachelor, we went to Iowa twice and we went to South Dakota and we went to New Mexico. Where did you go overseas though? Where did you go overseas? Okay. At the end, I got to go to Bali. Okay. Okay. Right. So, like, I'm here. They brought me back to my hometown. They're like, we're going in Minnesota.

I would have loved that. I would have loved to go back to my hometown. If I could have gone to Canada, I would have been so happy. And then on my season, we went to, like, New York, Ireland, so whatever, I'm not going to complain. But I will say that when you are a contestant on the show and you travel, you do not get to leave your hotel. So it's not like you go, like, these ladies are going to London this season, but it's not like they get to go, like, explore the city or have their alone time or go to go to. to like good shops and go to restaurants like they kind of like are stuck in this one area and then when you're the lead you're so busy anyways so like now you're out of the show you

can go travel on your own that's truly it that really is truly it go scratch your own itch a damn right I'll scratch my own itch 100% I know you will I know you will it's also like is trauma better in South Dakota or Ireland you know I don't know it really kind of depends friends, right? If you're very homesick, Ireland might seem kind of far away. I mean, my whole everything went down in Ireland, and I don't know if I could ever go back. It's a crazy memory for me. But yeah. Okay, truly, truly. I just feel like you'll, are you the traveling type? Like, you love traveling and exploring. Absolutely. Like, I really do believe that I'm going to have like this, especially like in the future, this next segment of my life where I'm going to

get to travel. And I'm, like you said, I'm going to have control over that travel of where I go, the experiences that I have. I'm going to have a little bit more freedom. And like I said, 100% grateful of all these like different opportunities. You're so well media trained. I'm not even media trained. This is truly just Michelle of like there's no like you can be bitter or it's not even bitter because it's like you're not bitter. I'm not bitter. But it's just like you can acknowledge that you know well there's so many different ways to do this and now I'm gonna take my ass to do that because I didn't get to do it you know there's so many feelings that coexist in like the aftermath of the show where you're like at certain times maybe you are a little bitter about

certain things but you're also grateful but you're also like there's so many feelings that can exist at the same time it's just a lot and it's so normal to like flash back to all those different phases and like acknowledge it and I think even like you talking about it like you said like you acknowledge it as phases and it's okay for us to understand they're like we're human we're gonna have times where we feel like bitter about this or bitter like we didn't get to do that opportunity or we didn't get to do this and it's like it's all part of the experience it really is and then you just take it all and you make it your own and you figure it out and then you look back on it and you go, oh my gosh, I wouldn't have this without this. So you're obviously getting there much

faster than I did. So also, are you watching this season? Yes. I am watching this season, you know, just I am following along with everything, especially, I mean, being on Bachelor Happy Hour 2, we've been able to. Oh yeah, duh. I guess that's part of your job. Yeah, yeah. So I have been watching, surprise. Yeah. You've been interviewing some of the girls. I have been, but I will say this is that the thing that really has kind of, pushed me through this season is that I have really enjoyed speaking with the girls on the mic and off the mic and there are some really, really good people who are on this season and it's it's genuine people. Wow, I don't believe it. Just kidding. I mean, shit, they found, I don't know

where they found them, but they found some. That's cool. That's, obviously, I'm not going to have you name names, but like, that's cool because I just watched it for the first time the other day. And I mean, it was kind of weird because of the whole Zoom thing, but I actually was like, wait, I thought he was going to be boring and he was quite pleasant and like I kind of think he's a dope bachelor. You know, I feel like it's, I'll say this, going through the whole system of The Bachelor, it is easier for the male to be more plain than the Jane to be plain, if you know what I'm saying. Like, it's just play on words there. Yeah, like that. That was good. Yeah.

But I will say that there are definitely sides to Zach that I have come to appreciate. Yeah. And there are definitely situations where he handles things correctly. And as every lead, there are situations where, you know, you struggle through them. Yeah. I guess I can't really speak to all the episodes. I've only seen one. But the poor guy was.

freaking COVID and people are like crying in London that they're not with him but I anyways I'm excited to watch the rest of the season regardless but I will say yeah two years or almost two years after my season I still couldn't watch so it's I know it's part of your job but you know you haven't really I kind of removed myself and like separated myself which was good for me but you don't really have that option because you still get to have like the podcast or it which is incredible yeah I mean I'll be the one thing that I've been trying to just follow more recently is that, I mean, I'm very new to social media still. Like I, like you said, you're two years into this.

I'm two years into social media. Like social media really. That's crazy. Like it, right, it is this just this whole new world that is filled with anxiety. And it's, I'm really trying to come to terms with, I want to be vulnerable and honest with who I am. That's how I am in my everyday life. And it's uncomfortable to do that on social media. And like with the podcast involved, that's something that I just really have had to like stick to that honesty with how this is. And it's like there have been a lot of things. And the franchise will also

acknowledge this as well of that. There's just definitely some changes that need to be made. and that has been where my like draining energy has come from and those are the things that I've worked am trying to work through right of just like really wanting to surround myself with things that are positive and there are a lot of just experiences and opportunities that I've received from this being the bachelorette and but I'm I also want to push for change and I also want to have an impact and I've been able to do that with like having my voice on Bachelor Happy Hour but like it hasn't been easy for sure yeah I can't no I can't even imagine obviously I can't imagine how hard that would be especially

because you probably hadn't like two options you either use your voice or you walk away from that and because both could be empowering it could be empowering to walk away and be like this is too much. I'm emotionally drained and this is not my responsibility. And if they're not willing to make certain changes, why should I stay here? But also, I stay here to use my voice and to be the change and to, you know, be able to have that impact. And that's what you're doing. So I think that's awesome, but it doesn't mean it's easy. And I appreciate that. And I will also acknowledge that both options are correct. If you're right, like if you need to put it down and if you need to walk away, you have every right to do that, and that should be respected.

Yeah. And there's also staying, and that's also respected. Yeah. But it's, you know, everyone has to do what's best for themselves and also choose their own limits with how, you know, how things have gone. I've seen you do that. I always, you know, whether it's to you or to my audience or just to like Jason at dinner, I always commend you for just how strong you've been in so many different situations,

like so many different scenarios that you have to be in and how you have stood up for yourself in so many different ways. And I'm always like, I'm just always in awe of you in everything that you do in your life and how much you handle so many things with grace, but also with so much authenticity where you're not afraid for, like, people to be upset with you because you believe in, like, what you're saying. And just in these two years, I feel like you've made such an impact in the franchise, in, you know, your social media and in your life. Okay, so I do think I could be quite handy. I really do and capable sometimes. But one area that I'm lacking is putting together

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anything I have going on so I love having the Starbucks ready to drink coffee on hand for whenever I need it which usually ends up being a few times a day because it just gives me that I don't know the convenience of having really delicious coffee whenever I need a little energy and they have so many good choices for whatever mood I'm in so I do like to switch it up love options Starbucks coffee ready for right now shop the full lineup online or in store wherever you buy groceries. I know that you went back to teaching right after the show. I mean, one of our podcasts, when you were like, it was like middle of the season.

We were podcasting and you were in your classroom. And I was like, you are such a hero because like to be able to, yeah, your lights shut off in your classroom. And you were just like, I got to go home. I'm like, how are you functioning? But so you went right back to teaching. Yeah. And I know we talked about it at the time, but looking back on that, are you happy you did that? Or was that really challenging and were you pushing down like maybe some of like what you needed to process?

Honestly, it was my saving grace. And it was my downfall at the same time. Wow. It is really easy to become consumed. And just this whole world of things. And it's really easy to lose yourself of what you stand for, who you are, and you have this, like, huge identity before the show. And as the show is taking place, it's really difficult. And especially as a lead, it's really exhausting.

You're getting pulled in so many different directions. There's so many opinions at that time. You're still trying to also, like, cater to, you know, if you do end up with somebody, you're, kind of helping them navigate through that whole world that's very brand new and it's for the first time to them for the most part of like yeah they're a contestant for the first time and so it's a lot and it's a really really large learning curve and teaching teaching specifically allowed me to really like you can't you can be in the classroom you can have a lot going on on the outside you can walk in with all these things that you carry on your shoulders and I commend teachers who do that in and out

every single day. Right. These students that I had, they really did require so much attention. And even if I wanted to sit and focus on, like, myself and what was happening on the internet or what was happening with all the, like, just in the world around me. Yeah. They needed you right then and there. And it was really easy to just be there for them and make them the priority.

So it was my saving grace in that way. on the flip side, it really did push me to burning out fairly quickly where I was already experiencing that, you know, just with COVID and teaching in a pandemic and just the education system in general. And so it really did expedite that or just push me to make, you know, decision to step away from teaching, whether it's temporarily, whether it's permanently, to really like make sure that I was also taking care of myself and with that. So how do you deal with the backlash of people, you know, having their opinions or making you feel shame around leaving teaching when you know what's best for you? How do you deal with that? It's just kind of funny where like I think I go back to this whole, I don't even remember who said it, but this whole quote of if you're not in the boxing ring, you can't be the coach. You're not the one that gets to offer change. You're not the one that gets to offer all this advice or all of the, these opinions on what this person should be doing. And frankly, the people who are the loudest on social media

with talking about, you should be back in the classroom. You were a really good teacher. You failed the children. You failed the children. That's my favorite one. You failed the children. You failed the children by stepping away. And everybody who's saying this is not a teacher.

Nobody is a teacher who's saying this. Because anybody who is a teacher or who was a teacher knows the tears, the hours we put in, the emotional turmoil, just the weight it puts on you, your social life, your family life, your relationships, just your whole mental health in general, there is not one teacher in my inbox that's like, you should be staying in the classroom like us. Nah, it's the people who are speaking out of pocket that have no idea, that have no empathy, and I'm not taking a moment to pause. So essentially, is it annoying?

Yeah, it's like move on. or just like at least deal with it personally but stop commenting on my shit yeah that that's kind of where it comes from like it's like an irritation right but like you're essentially you're a little flyaway here on the head right like you're annoying as hell but you ain't affect you're not affecting how I go about my day so it's like it's a waste your time it is that's what that's the that's the thing you're just annoying and you're wasting your own time like you're wasting your time you're not your one opinion it's like when I was actually it's like when I was actually actually like going through a really hard time and I was 97 pounds and just like not okay and people are

like eat a cheeseburger and I'm like oh like I'm just going to eat one cheeseburger and miraculously like gain the weight you think I should have on my body and not like thinking for a second maybe she's going through something like people just have these stupid one-liners like you you left the children like right exactly and honestly like it's just at the point where it's you kind of either like joke about it to get through it even with like Rachel right yeah anytime Rachel post anytime I post there's always somebody who comments like I hope you're flying like yo what she's just I hope you're in the classroom noted I'm not here's a selfie like what just I'm clear you think they get they would

get a little embarrassed but you know what it's you just got to feel sorry for those people yeah no see i won't even waste energy on that i'm just like you're you're casting judgment whatever yeah like yeah and there's i mean and if it and if it wasn't teaching they'd find something else to you know be all over your you know all over your shit for right and i don't know if this is something that you experienced as well but there is this like huge issue with whether if you, like, leave your profession, that I have less value as a human. Yeah. I have less value as a human if I leave my profession, absolutely not.

In fact, with the path that I'm on, I'm going to set out to make even a larger impact because I'm going to amplify the voices of teachers because you ain't, education system's not listening to teachers right now. Yeah. So now that I have a platform, I'm going to make you listen. You're like, and bitch, my microphone is louder. Tap, tap, is this thing on? Right. It's just like, come on. Or it's the same thing. It's honestly, there's like this huge issue where just God being in the world of social media, content, creation, all of this stuff. Right. It's not that people, I mean, people do sit there and care about like followers, likes, engagement. Like there's all this different stuff, right? Because at the end of the day, it does showcase support in some way. What you support, what you stand for, what you vibe with, what you don't. And what's so funny. And what I was talking.

to somebody recently about is that just an observation of you don't you're not in a functioning relationship oh my value as a woman my value as a person all of a sudden declines because I'm not in a successful relationship from the show right it's like it's just like this huge like you experience this huge thing and and there's someone that asked me a question of like well Michelle like are you like you've lost a lot of followers since the breakup and all these things that happening. And I said, cool. I hope the door doesn't hit them on the way out. Then they weren't supporters in the first place. Because if they think that my value decreases as a human and as a woman after I'm not in a relationship with a man, who I frankly shouldn't be in,

you're like, I'm busy building a community. So if they're not in, they're out by, yeah, see yourself out. Yeah. Absolutely. It's like, it's so crazy. It is, it really is crazy. Because if we were to bring, like say, say we took 10 trolls off the internet and we actually sat them down in a circle with a, they wouldn't, trolls don't sit down. They hide behind their little screens and keyboards. Yeah, and they would never show their faces. Let's say they do. Let's say we pay them, we get them here. Hypothetically, we put 10 trolls in a circle with a licensed therapist And they were able to, like, really dive deep into each one of these people's, like, beings. It would be really sad.

It would be really, really sad. And no one should ever take what they say personally because they are going through so much inner turmoil and have so many demons that it's like, it's actually sad. Like, let's move on from even talking about them. Right. It's really comes down to the fact that, like, When you speak, it's a reflection of you, not the person you're speaking at. It really is. It really is.

And I saw on your Instagram that February has been, for a bunch of F's, February has been family friends, fashion, football, and philanthropy, which is so, that sounds like an ideal month to me. It does, but it hasn't been. Right. Because it's all very like, you know, it's grounding things, but also life-changing things. And when this podcast comes out, it will be a new month. But what has been your February highlights and just your general highlights of 2023 so far? I mean, honestly, I've done so much reflecting and kind of like I spoke about earlier on the podcast of just really coming to terms with like, what do I want out of my life? What do I, like, what is fulfilling to me and what is not fulfilling to me and what is healthy for me and what is not healthy for me. And a part of it is just really whether it comes from sports, whether it comes from the

social media world, like, you know, that whole like living your highlight reel, like all these different things. You want things to be aesthetically pleasing. You want things, you know, your life to be like this perfect thing. And I'm like, I'm not like that whatsoever. I've never been like that. you know i for the most part i'm very like well spoken right like i have pure intentions um but i'm still human and i'm so growing and i really just sat down and had have done a lot of

reflecting the last few months and i've made a lot of changes in the last few months and i think what it really comes down to is the fact of like i want to be myself on social media and off social media and not that I was ever not myself on social media but I want to show that like I don't have it all together yeah there's a lot of times where I am falling apart and you know I I want to be a good person I want to have a really large impact I want to surround myself with people who are going to lift me up and who I can lift them up and there have been a lot of adjustments really and there's been a lot of growing pains and I kind of just came to this realization of I want to show the anxiety side of it. Yeah. I want to show. Welcome to the dark side. It's good to have you. And like

here's the thing is that I like I've already been here. You know, I've already, I've already experienced really, really intense moments of anxiety. I'm not even saying moments because that makes it seem like it's brief. I've had a really difficult battle with anxiety where we were at the point where We were scanning my body at Mayo Clinic to figure out what was going on because nobody could figure it out. And I was dropping weight like you said. And we just looked my parents in my eye, you know, America's sweethearts in the eye, just and we all just that light wasn't there. And it was just like, this is my quality of life now. Yeah.

It wasn't anything where I wanted to take myself out of the game. Right. But it was definitely just like looking, okay, like this is life now. And it ended up being anxiety. And I really had to face that. And that was before I stepped on any season of anything. And so now, this is before. This is before.

Yeah. This happened three years ago or so. And it just really came with, one, eliminating toxic people who are in my life at that time, which still stands now. And as I'm, like, experiencing these just different things, it's really, like, taking time to acknowledge that and go back to that. And, like, what do I want out of this? Right. Like, you know, kind of managing your thoughts and which labeling them, which ones are anxiety, which ones are false, which ones are true, which ones spark a fire that you can work off of, which ones can be used as a trampoline, which ones you need to put down, you know? It's a lot.

It's a lot. But what I realize is there's so many other people that are going through that. And I need to be okay with showcasing those other sides of it. Yeah. And that's what I've started doing with February. And I think people are like, there's a lot of people who are resonating with it. Yeah. But then there's a lot of people who are like, Michelle's this super just upbeat, happy, energetic person.

And I really am that person a lot of the time. But when you're so high energy and when you're so like the vibe creator or the whatever it is, when you're off, it's so much more noticeable than anybody else. Yeah. I feel that's so hard. Because you're a, what is it called? It's not a flower seed. I talked to your psychic, by the way.

Oh, yeah. Wait, I love that you. Isn't she incredible? She's amazing. But she said the first, like, the first thing that she said to me, she was like, you take on the energy of everybody you surround yourself with. And she said, she's like, who referred you? And I said, Caitlin.

And she said that you're, we're, we're all three of us are, what is it called something seed, which not a lot of people are. What is it called? I'm, I have it right here. A star seed. A star seed. seed but there's different kinds of star seeds and i'm yeah oh god enlighten me please i will send you the list because there's um 12 star seed types and i already know which one you are and it's a beautiful

thing it's not a bad thing it's no it's it's so fascinating it's so cool but it's true you i'm i'm what they call an ambivert where like i'm an introverted extrovert and i do the same thing and i just if i around people I like I take on their energy but I also give so much of mine and then my recharging like I need to be alone I need to recharge like with a book and silence and like I don't want my phone and I need to like actually like journal and write things down and kind of what you were saying like when you write down what labeling the feelings okay yeah and knowing that feelings can coexist so I am so excited about this but I'm feeling anxious about this and, like, labeling that and from doing all this inner child

work that I've been doing, now it's like, I go on a whole deeper level where I go, okay, my intellect, my inner child, my spiritual self, and my spirit guide, we all need to sit down and have a conversation with each other. And it gets funny weird, but it helps so much. But yeah, I get so drained and it can really take it out of you. and I feel like that's kind of you're the same way. All right, a quick pause. I am doing a few segments with Hyundai,

and I'd like to welcome you personally to the Hyundai Essential Skills series. And one essential skill that I talk about with Michelle on today's episode is how to move on after a heartbreak. I mean, that is an essential skill, if I've ever heard one. And I'm here for it.

Okay, and so is Hyundai. So I decided to do some intense research and by that I mean I googled stuff to bring you everything you need to know okay not everything but some hot tips some hot takes if you will and I think I have some pretty good tips of my own when it comes to this because I've been heartbroken many many times one time I think I said this on a podcast once it took me five years to move on from somebody that was a while ago now I feel like each heartbreak gets a little bit easier though I don't know maybe that's my advice each heartbreak gets easy maybe that's just all of my therapy talking um so okay back to my extensive research i think

one tip that came up kind of a lot and that i would definitely agree with is to let yourself feel your feelings and not just try and you know push them down or numb them and just get over it and move on uh because i just feel like that's so important in general it's not always easy to let yourself you know feel those negative feelings because they're uncomfortable but you've got to feel them to move through them. And another tip that I saw that I'm also very on board with is to find a lesson from a breakup. I read something on my Insight Timer app, and it said, pleasant experiences make life delightful, painful experiences lead to growth. And I just really feel that.

I feel like, you know how I always say people come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. And I think, you know, that sometimes that's the reason is the growing and the learning. And I have learned so freaking much from breakups. Looking back on it, I'm like, I have actually went through a few significant breakups in my life. But I think all my breakups have really helped me get to where I am today. And this might be my favorite tip out of all them is rediscover and reconnect with yourself. I was just talking to a girlfriend of mine who's going through a breakup and I was like get excited to date yourself like take yourself on dates get to know yourself better I know so many people can get you know really consumed by a relationship and I totally

get it because feeling lonely can really suck but finding your support system and what you love outside of a relationship is just so important so some of the things I suggest to you know my girlfriends who are going through it is go you know move your body go to a workout class find a new hobby, literally anything that can get you out of your head, go on a date with your friend or like I said earlier with yourself. I told my sister actually just write down a bunch of ideas of things that would actually make you happy and it could be something so simple. Like just start writing and see what comes up. I actually love going to eat or do like a movie by myself or staycation with myself. There's just so much you can do to build up that relationship with you

outside of a relationship with another person. And then I think the most helpful tip, I hope the most helpful tip, and I can promise it's true, it won't last forever. It feels like it will in the moment, but it won't. So there you have it. My hot tips for moving on, a skill that is very essential. And the Hyundai Essential Skills series is brought to you by Hyundai. For more information, go to hunde.com.

Hyundai, it's your journey. Okay, Peloton workouts are made to work for you. I know in the past I've definitely tried a few workouts that were not made to work for me, like going to the gym and not knowing what I'm doing, even though I enjoy working out. I just don't know where to start there. Or just taking a class that felt like, you know, it was a foreign language. But with Peloton, they really make everything so convenient and accessible no matter what level you're at. And did you know, Peloton actually makes a rower not just bikes.

You should know, if you've been listening to Off the Vine. and you don't have to be an experienced rower to enjoy the Peloton row. There are intro to rowing classes and beginner boot camps so you can learn as you go at a pace that feels comfortable for you. I love the Peloton row. I feel like it's just like the perfect full body workout. The Peloton row also comes with this really cool feature called Form Assist. So it's your very own partner in progress kind of thing. It actually teaches you how to row by giving you real time correction on your stroke and helps you spot points of improvement making it the ultimate rowing partner.

And as always, with Peloton, no matter where you're starting from, Peloton's expert instructors are there to guide you with their incredible energy and supportive instruction for every level to really take the guesswork out of working out. So you can try Peloton Row risk-free with a 30-day home trial, new members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepellaton.com slash home-dash trial. I would say that I'm incredibly extroverted before any of this, like, whatever we want to call it, overnight fame, public figure. Yeah. This happened, right?

Yeah. And so a big way that I recharge was spending time with other people in social settings. And again, I really, like, have been built to that core of being an extrovert, recharging around people. but with this new role that I've you know chosen but also can't change right that I've gone into I'm really right now re-learning how to recharge yeah because before it was going out to dinner in a public setting or it was going to whether it was a winery or doing an activity or going to play basketball pick up basketball around other people I just I love people I want to connect. I want to be around people. That's how I recharge from whatever I was going through. And it

wasn't like a distraction. It was like it was generally I would leave feeling uplifted, I would lead feeling energized, recharged and all of that. I didn't recharge by reading a book. I didn't recharge by. I love how I'm like, we are the same, right? You're like, so no. We are. And we are. But I would say that we're more similar now because I have had to really and still really relearning how to recharge in a different way because of the role that I'm playing because I can't go sit down at a dinner with a friend and not get interrupted by, you know, somebody coming to say hi. And that's the thing is that I'm always going to take time to have those conversations because one, it's meaningful for them.

But two, like, I appreciate the support. And I want to always showcase that. I'm always going to be respectful. I'm always going to, you know, take the picture unless it's at the gym where it's my mental, it's my mental health safe and I just don't do anything besides focus on myself at the gym and that's like a boundary I've set from day one but it's it's really just like it's so different it's so different and that's okay because everyone no matter what if they are a public figure or they work at the croaker down the street like no matter what people go through such different seasons of their life everyone always think like for example I always thought my love language was words of affirmation. Well, since I've really worked on loving myself and I've been like focusing on that and doing so much work around it, I was like, wait, why is my love language changing? And now I'm more quality time. And that is so important to me where same thing, like you could have been an

extrovert before, but because of situations that you've been through, you have to adjust and now recharge you might look different for you. And I think that can go for just anyone in life, like whether they're going through a change in work or they're working on themselves or like it's good to acknowledge these things and look at them through that lens of okay things change and I can adjust with them and I can grow with them and that's okay change is always so scary to people but if you look at little changes like that it can be really beautiful it really can and I think what's difficult with just even um this situation is the fact that it definitely is a wiring at times right Like I was wired, have been a wired extrovert.

Like you can't just expect an introvert to become an extrovert. And you can't expect an extrovert to become an introvert. So it's definitely a learning process. But I've definitely taken more time to acknowledge the peace, acknowledge the quiet, acknowledge me sitting with my own thoughts. Yeah. Which can also be a scary feat for sure. And yeah, it's been.

And it's been, there's been a lot of growing pains for sure. Yeah. And it's nice that you have people like Rachel who, you know, they know what that feels like to kind of have this happen overnight and then deal with all these new feelings and the public breakups and everything that comes along with it. You guys have been very entertaining on social media, if anything. And like, what is going on with the Clayton thing? Because people went bonkers about Clayton, which it's so funny because you think about

like the situation with Rachel and Gabby and Clayton. And then you see that Gabby was even involved, honestly. I forget so much of this where it's like when it's that moment, like think about, sorry to bring it up, but like your breakup. It seems like it's all that consumes you and it's all that the media cares about it. It's all that people want to talk about. But then you like remove yourself from it for a little while and you look back and you're like, oh my gosh, people move on so fast. And our brains do that with Bachelor World too, where I'm like, Rachel and Clayton, I'm like, why are people freaking out? And I'm like, oh, duh, I forgot.

I feel like, I feel like brains move on fast. But at the same time, I move on. Like, I'm like, let's go. Move on. Honestly, I, sometimes I move on to a fault. Not, I'm not even going to say that. But like, people are like, you know, people are Rachel and Clayton getting back together, all these different things.

I remember seeing this comment that was like, wait, why isn't Michelle? in the mix. Why don't you guys care that like, what if Michelle's rekindling? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, oh, shit. Clayton was on my season. It was just like, right, there we go. And it's like, it's not a, here's the thing. I want to clarify, this is not like a value, I don't value Clayton. Like, Clayton are cool. But what people didn't see is that there was really this segment. I mean, I guess people can see it because if you like go on Hulu or whatever it is, like that little after segment. you know there's like this little bit extended version where like I literally go and give Clayton advice

and in my mind one I'm physically leaving Minnesota to go give this man advice before he starts his own season like in my mind I moved on right let Clayton go I've moved on the chapter's closed right chapters closed and there's a lot of people that move on with me and then there's a lot of people who just will always be stuck on the same things yeah And I'm just like, move on. Yeah. But sometimes it feels like the person you've moved on from isn't moving on when you're like, why are you still dragging me into this shit?

Like, all I got to say is probably it's a slow news day. That's all I got to say. You dragging me back on this shit, it's a small, it's a slow news day. That's the only thing I can come up with. Like, move on. Oh, I just love her. We could talk for hours clearly. Tune in this Thursday for the rest of our conversation.

where we get even deeper. We talk about handling public breakups, making an impact during our time on this floating rock, and trust me, you won't want to miss it. Crazy thought here. To make sure you don't miss it, maybe hit the old follow button. I also wouldn't be mad if you left a review while you're at it. I never really ask you guys to do that, but I'm going to ask, whatever you want to do. I'm just happy you're here. And I'm really good at marketing, okay? Just kidding, if I was, I'd probably ask that you review and rate and all those things every time. But anyways, I'm Caleb Bristow, and I'll see ya this Thursday. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform.

And we'll see you next Tuesday. Hey, Friday Night Lights fans. It's not only football Friday Night Lights and Beyond is an episode-by-episode discussion of the hit TV series Friday Night Lights, host by Your truly Scott Porter, who played Jason Street on the show, and my two wonderful co-hosts. Me, Zach Gelford, aka Matt Saracen. And me, May Whitman, aka someone who wasn't on the show, but really, really loves it a lot. We will also bring on some special guests, answer your questions, and tell you about what's going on in our lives today.

It's not only football. Friday Night Lights and Beyond is available now wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Thank you.