Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Misha Brown | Be Your Own Bestie!

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

#948. Kaitlyn sits down with bestselling author, performer, and the internet’s brutally honest best friend, “Your Bestie Misha,” Misha Brown.They get into everything — from his early days performing on cruise ships (and the wild, truly unhinged stories that come with it) to chasing Broadway, getting sober, and completely reinventing his life.They also dive into his new book Be Your Own Bestie, including the S.A.S.S. approach, what confidence actually looks like in real life, and the viral “Lessons in Not Crossing a Gay Man” series.It’s funny, real, and feels a little like getting called out by a best friend… in the way you probably need!If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these AMAZING deals!Boll & Branch: Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping during the Memorial Day Sale at BollAndBranch.com/vine20 with code vine20.Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on your car insurance!Macy’s: Shop in stores or online only at Macys.com!Apartments.com: The place to find a place!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Boland Branch. Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping during the Memorial Day sale at bollandbranch.com slash vine 20 with codevine 20. Progressive, visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Macy's shop in store or online, only at Macy's.com. And Apartments.com, the place to find a place. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Off The Vine. I'm your host. Caitlin Bristow, and today we talk about self-worth, patterns, confidence, and being your own best friend. And today's guest is not here to sugarcoat anything. I love him online. Misha Brown. I always see

his stuff pop up on my for you page. He's one of those guys that I'm like, am I following him? Or is he just that popular online that the algorithm always pumps out his content to me? But I get to sit down with him, bestselling author, performer, and the internet's brutally honest best friend. And I think he goes by your bestie now. He switched his handles a couple of time on Instagram. I believe he's your bestie, Misha, on Instagram, TikTok, all the things. You've probably seen his viral lessons in not crossing a gay man videos, but behind is a very much deeper story. His new book, Be Your Own Bestie, a no nonsense guide to changing the way you treat yourself is exactly what it sounds like. And we're getting into all of it today. And this is going to be one of those episodes where you feel like you're just sitting down with your besties. So let's welcome Misha Brown to the podcast. I saw that you auditioned and did. No, did you do cruise ships? Oh, forever. I can't wait to talk about this because, so cruise ships to me are like my personal hell,

even though I've never been on one. But I also auditioned when I was younger to go on cruise ships to dance. And I swear I would like purposely bomb the auditions. Subconsciously I would because I was so scared of a cruise ship. But I thought it was like my dream. And then my girlfriend, she like made it. And she got on the cruise ship and she was like, it was hell. And I was like, okay, so I want to know your experience on cruise ships because,

yeah, first of all, what cruise line? I did a lot of different ones. You did? I did like the big ones and then like I worked my way up to working on like the Ritz-Carlton of cruise ships. Yeah. A small luxury brand. Oh, that's cool.

It's like 400, 350 passengers. Oh, sheik. Yeah. Okay. So that's a whole different ballgame if you're doing like a little. I saw that four seasons just started doing a cruise ship. And Ritz Carlton. I said them, but they actually have one.

That's so cool. So then how did you get there? Because it was probably like you have to work your way up. Well, I mean, it's not that hard. It's just I was, you know, you audition for a different production. What are you not that hard? I did like 80 auditions and never made it. I mean, working your way up part.

You know, once you're like, you know, you have cruise ship experience that when you go an audition for a different production company, they're like, oh, you know, it's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. But then also like when you're on the smaller ones, the cast does tend to skew a little older. Really? You know, like the big ships like carnival and, you know, celebrity and all of them.

You're like 21 years old. out of college, there to party. And then that one, you're with really rich people. You also have to socialize a lot. So, yeah, we were all, like, in our mid-30s. Do they, like, encourage, like, having a beverage with them? I know you're sober now, but. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And especially on those smaller ones, it's all-inclusive on the ship. There's no payment system. So it's free for you as well. See, that makes me so awkward because if I, like, if I went out partying, like, the last thing I'm going to do is, wake up with that same group of people and be like, hey. There were times because we used to have to host dinners. Yeah.

Like it would be you and then like, you know, four to ten of the guests that accepted your invitation. Whoa. And we would, it would be like a three hour dinner where they just kept topping up your wine the whole time. And there's so, I have so many stories. I could write a whole book on that. Well, tell me the craziest one. So there was this one time that there was this man who clearly did not wish to be having dinner with me. It was his wife who accepted.

invitation. And he was just slamming back old fashions. He was so wasted. And then at one point, out of nowhere, he just goes, work. And I was, you know, I was so, I was also drunk. So I was like, please, explain. And he said all these coffee creamers and MGOs or whatever is turning everyone gay and there's going to be no more babies. Oh, that's some reasonable reaction. And well, Everyone at the table like gasp and I just started busting out laughing. And I was like, sir. Sir is the exact response I would have. Sir.

Are you sure? The coffee creamers? The coffee creamers are turning everybody gay just in case you did. That's like I heard a friend of a friend's husband's parents told them, don't keep your phone in the microwave because blah, blah, blah. And they're like, why the fuck would I keep my phone in the microwave? They're like, the government. Does this?

Like they have all these conspiracy theories where I'm like, I'm all for a, you know, a conspiracy theory where I'm like, I could get on board with that. But the coffee creamers turning people gay and there's going to be no more baby. No more babies. Oh. That's insane. Bless him. Oh.

We had a really good dinner after that. He was for sure gay. For sure gay. Oh my gosh. So then you had to stick around. Did he go to bed? No. So then he ordered dessert and then.

He ordered dessert. He ordered like with the table. He was like, I'll get the stuff. Chocolate suplex. Yeah. Extra sugar in his tank. But then the waiter comes over who knows, you know, we're friends because we're crew members, right?

He tops up my wine, gives me a look. Like, I heard that. Yeah. And then so I was like, by the way, I said, can I also get a coffee black? And he, like, no creamer. Coffee black. And then I looked at the guy. I was like, like me and your son drink.

Oh. I was drunk. And then he got up and left. before he got his... Bye, but then you have to see him in the morning? His wife and his wife just kept apologizing for him, like, wives do. Oh, I hate that for her. I know.

I would be like, sweetie, let's go. I was like, it's okay. I'm not, like, you didn't embarrass me. Wait, and then you have to wake up and did you have to see him the next day? Be like, hey. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's on board for however long the cruise was. Please tell me there's creamer in his coffee. I just like, also like that many old fashions, men I feel like are allergic to brown liquor and get like angry and their real truth comes out gay.

and he's gay. Just so you know, I wasn't trying to be offended. And then, like, I feel like they say things. He probably didn't even remember saying that. Probably not. But I wonder if his wife reminded him, because I sure would. She was so mortified. Yeah.

So I'm sure she did. Oh, my gosh. See, these are the kinds of things that make me go a cruise thing for me. And then what about security? Like, get this guy. You can't just kick somebody out of a ship. I mean, they spent so much money. They have to do some.

There were people that got kicked off the ship. But like typically, no, unless there was a physical altercation or like they were causing a problem for other guests, they pretty much got away. That's kind of causing a problem for other guests saying something so outrageous. But I think even the crews right now that's out there that's like diseased that they're like docking. And I'm like, great, COVID number two, here we go. Like the spreading of the germs, and I'm not even a germaphobe, like I don't wash my hands after I pee. Sorry, I said it. I said it.

I said it. So I'm not a germaphone. But a cruise ship with that many people and a disease spreading and then everyone coming back from another country, that freaks me out. Well, I was actually on a ship when we learned about COVID. And when you're working on a ship, you are in a bubble. You have no idea what's going on in the world. So we just like one day got all of these posters in the crew area being like, hey, everybody, there's this thing happening in the world. All the guests have to get off the ship tomorrow. No. And so all the guests got kicked off the ship. The crew had immediately. and they were like, we're going out to sea for 30 days. There's this thing called the coronavirus. And I was like, not me. And I literally, the only person in the entire fleet, the entire company, I booked my own

plane ticket home. And I was on the last plane from Barbados to America. And then the rest of the ship, they got stuck at sea for like two and a half months. Oh. And I was in my like childhood bedroom just watching Tiger King. Oh, no. Like the rest of her. I got to compete against Carol Baskin on Dancing with the Stars.

Oh my God. And like ever, I just wanted to do a TikTok with her so bad. But of course, she was so shy and like, I think mortified because the world thinks she's a murderer. And I believe Carol Baskin. Anywho, that's crazy. Yeah. What do you, this ship coming in, are we scared or we not? Are we like?

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I can't be on that. I can't even think about it. I feel that. And then I'll chase. Broadway chasing like the New York dream again COVID. So we're like, let's get TikTok famous. Basically. Was that was that actually the plan or did it just happen? No, no, no. It was a total accident. That's, okay. So tell me how that happened because it was your one video that really blew up, right? Or was it? No. Yeah, it was the first one. Yeah. But it was my sister stole my Louis Vuitton

wallet and I didn't know about it. I saw it and I saw in a Facebook photo she posted. And then, like, it was a little drama. I talked about it on, on TikTok. It blew up. But then from there on, it just, like, it was like a never-ending growth in the past, like, six years. And do you think the never-ending growth is due to your consistency? And, like, obviously, you're talented, your humor, your everything that you're saying is important. But I feel like TikTok hates my guts.

I'll post like one thing and I'm like, zero comments. I'm like, it's so humbling to me. No, TikTok hates everybody. I just got verified like last week. I've had and I've had like over three million followers like forever. Yeah, hot damn. You know? But why does it do?

Is it like the Vegas slot machine theory where it's like if you just keep going they're going to like eventually reward you so that you keep going back? Actually I had a contact and they were like, oh, email this support email. Oh really? Not through the app, not through the actual thing because it was just like, I don't know, their AI bot that was just like you're a homosexual. You're not going to verify you. Oh no.

No, not you against. Probably the guy from the cruise ship. I know, probably. He's probably the owner of TikTok. He's like, you have too much coffee cream. We're in your coffee. We're not going to give you that big check. That's so crazy.

So, okay, we'll get back to that. But when you have this new career, do you ever want to use that platform to go back and live out the Broadway dreams and like try and use that? Yeah. You know, it was weird. When I was like around a million followers just on TikTok, like Broadway casting offices and producers were calling me and all of the time. Then I started gaining, you know, popularity across all platforms in media. And then I actually heard from casting at one point. They called me in to do like for an audition for a Broadway musical. And then the casting said, hey, you did a great job today, but we're not going to,

we're not going to further you along in the process because it would look like stunt casting. Right. So I was like, wait, now I have too many followers. Yeah. Yeah. But I wasn't, I am an actor, though. That's so, and people know that about you. But now it's like, you know, now I have like eight and a half million across platforms. And so I feel like now it's getting to the point where maybe it's like enough notoriety. Oh my God. That I'm like back into like, they're like, okay, the stunt casting will work this time. So who knows where I'm at now? It's like all of our high school insecurities are being validated that like the more popular you are, the more you get. Yeah. Well, and here's the other thing though is like I think a lot of my insecurities and my self-doubt

was because of what my career was prior to social media. Yeah. Because I was constantly being told no. and I wasn't being validated in what I wanted. Even though I put in all of the work and was talented enough, there were all of these other things that people didn't like. And so when I finally found this career where people love me and accept me for me, now it's like I don't audition that much anymore because it's just like it's not as important to me. So for me, it's Broadway. If it happens, it happens.

If it doesn't, I'm content. Yeah, you've really built like a supportive online family and community that you have your own Broadway platform. There we go. And I'll just do my own show. And you probably have more people that would have eyeballs on it. Although I do love an intimate Broadway show. What would your Broadway dream debut be? Oh my gosh.

I really would love to originate a role. Oh, yeah? You know, I love the collaborative process. Oh, cool. With directors and cast and trying new things. And I don't know. It has to be, I would love to do a comedy. Yeah, yeah, of course.

And then get to like belt my face off. Oh, my gosh. What's your favorite musical? I don't have one. No. No, I do not have one. I will say, it's so hard. I don't have a favorite color, a favorite book.

Oh, interesting. I just love variety. So it's really hard for me to pinpoint one. I actually love this answer because I feel like people always feel like they have to have a favorite. And that's a really good take. Yeah. I like that hot take. I love variety.

So it's really hard for me to pinpoint. But I will say, I do have like a special place in my heart for a musical, not a people, not like, it's not super mainstream. Yeah. Memphis. Okay. But that's because like I used to like hawk merch and like sling drinks at Broadway shows when I lived here in New York. Oh, funny. And, but the cast would always come downstairs where I was setting up to warm up.

And they would invite me in to, like, do the little warmups. And so it was like, it was inclusive. And it was a lot of community. And so that felt just like, that just felt nice. And so I have like a warm place in my heart for that show specifically. Okay, well, that's very reasonable. Yeah. I'm going to see Chess.

And I'm very excited because, so do you know, do you watch Housewives at all? Or have you ever watched Bachelor World? Yeah. Okay. Do you know Ashley I? No. Okay, so Ashley I, the lore is Ashley I was on the season I was on of The Bachelor. Her and I became really close. I just adore her. I love her. And then I became The Bachelorette. She went on Bachelor in Paradise. One of the guys from my season of Paradise met her on Paradise. She was obsessed with him,

fell in love with him. He was like, I'm still into Caitlin. And I was like, she called me on Paradise. And she goes, what did you do to him? And I was like, oh, no, no, no. I'm engaged. Like, I don't want it. And then he didn't, because nothing had aired yet. So he thought maybe he still had a chance because he heard that like maybe I didn't pick somebody. And then that kind of like cut it off. And then he was like, I need to process this. And then they now are married with two children. Okay.

And they're adorable. They're so cute. I love them. And they're dear friends. And we're all going. Oh, now she's on the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Oh. And so she's coming to New York for some press.

We're going to do a podcast. And then we're going to see chess. Oh, my God. You should sit in between them. What a great idea. I love making things weird. That's a great idea. She'll be like,

Caitlin's fuck off. It's been 10 years, bitch. That's so, yeah, okay, I'm excited because you went, when I said chess. Yeah, I heard good things. So on my ships, we would do a show called an evening with Sir Tim Rice, who's the lyricist of chess. And I met him.

We're like good girls. And so I've sung those songs like three billion times. Really? And I went and saw it the last time I was here with, a friend of mine from college. And yeah, some of those people are singing. Yes. Yeah, really good. Because Ashley has actually seen it before and she was like, I was so impressed with it that I want to take everybody. Yeah. That's, I'm very excited. I, too love comedy. Like, Book of Mormon is just like, have you seen it? Yeah, but also RIP. There was just the fire in the theater. No. It's closed indefinitely. Happened last week. What? Yeah. The roof caught on fire. Oh my God. Is everybody okay? Yeah. Oh, okay. But oh my gosh, so closed indefinitely. No way I did not know this.

Yeah, it just happened. Yeah, I know. I'm going to see Titanic. Oh. Tanique tonight. Yes. Wait, who's in that that I know? Oh, my God.

Jim Parsons, Frankie Grande. Yes. Deborah Cox. Debra Cox. Oh, yeah. Wait, I really want to see that too because I've heard it's a guy that I knew who's also from a reality show who got a Broadway gig from it. Actually, maybe he had one before, but Tommy, he was on Big Brother.

he was in it. I don't know if he still is, but I also want to see that. Yeah, excited. You guys, moving to New York has already been testing me. I mean, just the heat alone, the humidity, not wanting to blast the AC all night, the dogs adjusting. I was also waking up constantly, just uncomfortable. And I kept trying to figure out what it was because obviously, like, at home, I have everything I'm very picky about with my betting. And then it hit me. Anytime I'm not in my bowl and branch sheets, I've gotten so used to. I feel the difference immediately. It is actually really crazy how much of a difference they make. And I've used this brand for years. So when I moot, I did make sure I did order their oak colored duvet set

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more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, potential savings will vary not not available in all states. I do want to talk about in somewhere all of this you got sober. Yeah. When? Christmas Day, 2018. Oh, 2018? Yeah, it's been a while.

Oh, so it was before COVID. I was thinking it was during COVID. So 2018, Christmas Day, what was the thing that made you go? I'm doing this. Well, before that, I was in a secret relationship with a Ukrainian ballet dancer. Okay. For a few years. Okay.

And I went to go see him on a contract, found out he was cheating on me. No. Yeah. And then I was touring with Cirque de Soleil. Sit down, it's not that fancy. Sounds way more fancy than I was, trust me. But I, and I was an alcoholic, but, you know, but I was, no one knew I had a problem because I was super functioning. I was the life of the party.

I wasn't like, you know, mean or, you know, it wasn't getting in the way of things that I, at least outwardly. And so I was on tour in this hotel room by myself and my best friend of all time, her mom had cancer. And so she called me, you know, upset. I did what best friends do. You're like, hey, girl, you got this. You're so strong and resilient. You're going to get through this. And as soon as I hung up, I looked around at all of the empty beer cans in this room and like me feeling so sick.

And, you know, I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror at my puffy face thinking all of the ways that I just hyped her up. And I was like, why can't you be your own friend? Totally. And that was like the little spark. Like I went to bed that night thinking like, hey, I have two options here. I can like keep doing what I'm doing and hope for a mediocre life at best. Or I can try something new. And maybe it won't work out. Maybe it will. Spoiler, it totally did. It totally did. I'm so proud of you. And then so I woke up and yeah, the next day just I.

And you did like by yourself on your own. You were just like, I'm making this decision. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Because I was wondering sometimes, you know, it takes an intervention or people having to say something to you. But that makes sense if you were functioning and you, that is a thought I think all the time of why. And I know because it's survival mode for your brain to protect you. And so you think, you know, doomsday, worst case scenario, intrusive thoughts. But I'm always like, why can't it be on my team? And then I was like, well, that's up to me. And I always think, because I always date myself. I take myself on a date, like, once a month. And I like think of myself as like my own best friend. And that's changed my whole perspective, but it took a long time. Yeah. But so I love that that was the kind of thing that shifted your brain into going into sobriety. I tell people that like there's a whole section.

in my book about, you know, affirmations, affirm the shit out of yourself. People are like, well, what does that mean to you? Because affirmations on social media are very, these glittery, empty platitudes that don't mean very much toxic positivity. Right. It's just like slapping post-it notes on your mirror that are like, Slay Queen, you got this. Exactly. And I don't think that that's what affirmations. I mean, like, that's part of it, but I think it's a practice. I think it's something that you do. And I tell people all the time, my concept is date yourself. Yeah. Oh. Every single day. And then people are like, okay, so like what, slap on a dress and take myself to Benny Hana. Like, it's like, I mean, sure, I guess so, but. Well, sure, but also and.

It's just like it's every single day taking time for yourself. Yes. Some piece of your day that is just for you has no relation to other people, expectations, responsibilities. Yeah. Just something that really feeds your soul and like allows, you know, the idea absorb into the very fabric of who you are that you deserve to be nurtured and you deserve to be cared for in the way that you need. Yeah. And that's changed my whole life. I've dated myself every single day for the last eight and a half years. Okay. Well, that I need to start thinking of it daily instead of I'm like once a month. Like once a month I'm going to take me. Well, but that's your like going out activity.

That's your like. I also do a lot for myself. Like I was just, I could talk about this now because it just came out. I was just filming a show in Dominican Republic and it was about like a wellness center and like a retreat. And it was a bunch of women healing together. And it was like all it was very campy and kooky and I love that. But it was also really like actually we did some pretty serious work on ourselves.

Yeah. And now I forget where my train of thought was going with that. Date yourself every day. Shit. I hate it. I do that too. Oh, I know. I know.

I know. I got it. So I was doing this show and this retreat. And a lot of it was, you know, all these women are moms and doing stuff like they're married and they're moms. And they're very selfless human beings. And there's a moment on the show that we were filming. And I go, they're like. Caitlin, you need to do this for yourself. And I went, I do everything for myself. I'm like, I almost need to like put that aside because I'm, I'm constantly doing things for myself. Lived alone. Like I take care of myself. I give myself, you know, the treatment. I take myself for massages all the time. I go get facials. I do my therapy. I do inner child work. I do like brain mapping. I do like I'm always doing things for myself. And then I realize like I think my work here is to like integrate a.

partner in and not be so closed off. Yeah. I mean, it seems like you've done a, like, that's why you're successful and you're good at conversations and this podcast is like popping off. It's because you've, you've done all the work on yourself. Like, you know, you know, but there's the rest of it, right? Right. Like, you know, also realizing that we can set our boundaries with other people and with ourselves. Yeah. And part of that, you know, I think is like, my last part of my SaaS method is sculpt the life you want. And so much of that for me is like, you know, making sure that I'm giving back. Yeah. My cup is over. flowing because of everything I've done. So like how can I like give back and be selfless and,

you know, create community? Yeah. I really like that because I think that's, that's a good way to look at it. I kept being like, God, I'm so selfish. And I was like, no, I needed to actually pour that all into myself over these last few years. Yeah. To be able to, you know, show up as a better person, partner, friend, all the things. There's so many people getting sober these days. Yeah. Like a very big movement of sobriety. Yeah. What do you think that is? I attribute it to a lot. of the younger generation. You know, the kids growing up, like, with social media, I think that it was a trend. I think it was like, you know, trendy to be sober.

Yeah. Drinking is so cringe to them. Drinking is so cringe to them. But we also, I think there was like a whole generation that didn't really have the same college experience that, you know, we did growing up because of what was going on in the world, COVID. You know, things were shut down and it didn't look the same. And it's like maybe just that little like reset button of just like skipping doing the same

thing over and over and over again, you know, just kind of woke everybody up for a little bit. I also just, I don't know, like we also were, we have so much access to information these days. Yeah. Yeah. That we haven't in the past, you know, our parents, they didn't have the same sort of access to everything that we do that's in our face all the time on our phones. Yeah. And so we're constantly like having to face, you know, our health and our mortality.

Right. And so we think about it more often. Yeah. I mean, I've definitely changed my relationship with alcohol from a health perspective. What is something you replaced for a coping mechanism? Because a lot of times that drinking is, you know, numbing something. It's a coping mechanism. What did you replace? I didn't. That's the hard part. That's why I say in my SaaS method, self-reflection is a bitch. Yeah. We're going to talk about that's your Taylor Swift moment. I'm looking in the mirror and being like, it's me high. I'm a problem. Right? Because like for me, I'll give you an example. I was really good at casting blame on everything else why my life wasn't going the way I wanted it to. Yeah. Right. People were breaking my heart. Casting offices didn't see my worth, you know, and everything chipped away at my self-confidence. But while all of those things are true, how did I allow those things to affect me? Right. Right. Self-sabotage and drinking and, you know, like unhealthy behaviors. So it wasn't until I was like, I need to sit with this and figure out where all of this insecurity is coming from. What's happened along the. the way that's made me shrink. And that's not the, that's not the most fun thing to do to be like,

hey, these are where you stumble. Here's where you have contributed to like your life being a shit show. Well, because it is so easy to blame. I find myself doing it a lot. Well, I grew up like this. And I mean, that is part of it, you know, and I'm sure you went through a lot of shame spiraling with like, you tell me. But like, I don't know your coming out story, but like certain things like that that you bury, that you don't even realize you're burying. Yeah. And I have a hard time, not as of recently because that's my last thing that I've really been working on is accountability.

But like being able to see your side of it, even in like my relationship breakups, it's so easy to just, it's their fault. Look what they did. Look what they did. But I also have a part in that no matter what that looks like. And that's, it really is freeing when you can hold yourself accountable and then realize, oh, well, that wasn't that bad. And now we move forward. Right. As long as you can like get through it in a healthy way where you're saying like, okay, I can take accountability.

I can remember that I'm human, you know, give myself some grace, apologize and take, you know, accountability and ownership when I need to. But realize that like you're not a broken person just because you've made some mistakes along the way. It's just how we're going to move forward. I mean, we're all broken in some ways, you know, but. That's why I don't understand why we can't just all be broken together and understand each other better instead of, you know, being so rude on, well, mostly online. But that's, I mean, it all makes sense. Your book is kind of all about how we treat ourselves. And it's called Be Your Own Bestie. Just right there on the table. Hold it up for everybody to see.

It's very cute. I love it. And it is about kind of confronting ourselves because most of us are not very nice to ourselves either, which is so sad. And kind of like you said about being your own friend when you looked in the mirror and you decided to get sober. If we talk to our friends, the way we talk to ourselves sometimes, like we wouldn't have any friends. Exactly. And so let's talk, you said your SaaS approach in the book. Tell me more about that. So I, when I, I'm, even though I'm a creative, I am very much a type A personality and I like to map and plan. I love Excel spreadsheets. Oh, God, my nightmare. I hate them. I'm so typey. I'm like, I don't even know how to work a spreadsheet. Yeah. So, but like when I sat down that Christmas morning, when I got sober, I literally mapped out my

first year of sobriety and like healing. Cool. And so I was sat in there, I sat there and I was like, well, how am I going to do this? And I was like, I want to reclaim something. And the director I had just worked with for CERC did, we did not get along. Yeah. He hit me. Because I think my perfectionism and my insecurity of not wanting to be seen as a problem, I constantly asked questions. And like, or he would say one day like, hey, you're going to go over here to stage right at this point. And then the next day, he would change his mind. And I'd be like, yesterday you said this. And that's like a big no-no in the theater world. Just roll with the punches. Just roll with the punches. But it was because I didn't want to look like I messed up. Of course. You know, but he thought it was arrogance. Got it. And so he would

call me sassy. But it was not in a cute way. Like it was a full slur. Yeah. There's a full slur. Yeah. And so that was, but that was the most recent thing in my mind. So I was like, I am sassy. Yeah. I'm going to reclaim this word. Yeah. And so I just like made, I took sass and I made it work. Okay. Is it an acronym? Yeah. Okay. So self-reflection is a bitch. Affirm the shit out of yourself. Stand your ground and sculpt the life you want. Love. I love that. I love that. I feel like, how does somebody actually apply that when you're like mid spiral? Because I'm like, that all sounds really great. Right. Exactly. And when I'm like in the in the middle of like a breakdown, how do I how do I do that? In the middle, I don't, I don't, for me it was a long term thing. I got myself out of saying I need to fix everything right now. So the reason like it's four, it's four letters. And I was like for the first three months, for the next 90 days, let's just like sit with our feelings. Let's figure out why. And so it's not like it was an overnight thing or it just. took me three days for three months, you know, if I was feeling overwhelmed, if I was feeling guilty over something that I thought about that I've done in my past, if I was, you know, stressed and like, you know, constantly thinking about drinking and how I wasn't allowed to do it,

I would just go on a really long walk with no headphones, no podcast, no music, and I would just think. That was my form of meditation. And I would just sit in my feelings. And I would just force myself to actually work through it rather than find a way to escape. Which is so hard to do for people in a world where of like scrolling and social media and constantly addicted to our phones. Isn't that so sad that the hardest thing to do these days is just put that down and go walk with your own thoughts? I know. It is. But you know, it's really getting rid of this like idea of instant gratification in our lives because that's what you're saying. When you're spiraling, it's how do I fix this right now? It's like you don't have to

this right now. It's okay to have days where we can only give 2%. Yeah. You know, and if we're having a particularly bad day, do your best to take that five minutes that are for yourself at some point, you know, and then just hopefully like the next day you do the next right thing, rather than self-destructing and self-harming and, you know, letting your inner saboteur come out. But yeah, that's such a good point because you're right, the instant gratification that we have, oh, we're having, how do we fix us? You go to chat GPT. How do we numb this? We scroll. Like anything that makes us uncomfortable, the phone is there to solve that problem in the moment. Get an argument with our partner. You know, whatever, you know, literally, everything. And the best thing we can do for ourselves, I think, same thing that you said,

is just quiet the mind and go, I do that all the time. And that's like, walking my dogs is my form of meditation every day. No headphones. Once in a while, I'll put on headphones if I'm like listening to an audiobook when I walk sometimes. But then I get sad because then I go, oh, my baby, I'm not even paying attention to you. Like, I want to be like affirming them when they walk. Like, you're such a good boy. You're a good walker. But I do. I love, I love doing that because it does, it just clears the brain and nobody has ever felt worse after a silent walk. Yeah. That's the magic. Yeah. It's, it really are these like just simple changes in our choices. And it's a huge impact, right? And then It was somewhere like in month two of me constantly doing this.

And I was having a really hard day at work. I was in England in rehearsals for a cruise ship. I was having to learn this patter song in Spanish. And I was having a really hard time memorizing the words. Do you speak Spanish? No, that's why it was a really rough day at work. Cannot imagine. And I was sitting there and I took a break.

I was like, I need to take a second. And I was daydreaming about what I was going to go to the grocery store and buy to make like a really nice dinner for myself. And then it like dawned on me that my first instinct was to think about a really nice dinner rather than beer or a nice whiskey or like a expensive bottle of champagne. It was literally the first time that alcohol was not my reward system in my brain. And then that was almost like I almost became addicted to the fact that like I felt growth. Yeah.

And you're right. And so there's your there's your replacement. You got addicted to growth. addicted to growth. Which is the dream. That's amazing. Oh, what are you addicted to? Growth. Growth. Bettering myself. They're like, what's your advice? I'm like, oh, a good glass of wine. Being better than my haters. Wow. Good for you. Okay, now that I am living in New York, I get it. There's just something different. I always visited. But now that I'm here, I'm like, am I a New Yorker? Like, there's a New York style in a whole new way. There's just something about it. It's effort. a little bold, a little unexpected, but it still completely is wearable and people just throw things together and somehow it looks so intentional. And I've definitely been in a bit of a

wardrobe shift since being here because you do walk more. That's for sure. You're out more. You're doing a million different things in a day. So you do need pieces that can keep up, but still make you feel like you've got an outfit that's put together. And I feel like I've been chasing that balance of, I want to look styled, but I don't want to overthink it. And I want pieces that feel easy, but then they've still got, you know, some personality, like something that you throw on and then you think, well, this just works, which is why I got really hyped about this new collab at Macy's on 34th and Molly Rogers, because Molly Rogers is the Molly Rogers. She's the Emmy-winning costume designer behind some of the most iconic fashion-forward New York-based TV shows of the last

few decades, like those kinds of shows where the outfits were just as memorable as the storylines and everyone watching wanted to dress like that. That's literally what's so cool about this collection, because she's taken that same eye for style, that attention to detail, the way that she builds outfits that feel very specific and interesting, and then translated it into pieces that you can actually wear in real life through Macy's on 34th line.

And on 34th already has that really wearable city-inspired feel. So it's the perfect mix. It doesn't feel intimidating at all. it feels like pieces that you'll actually reach for, but with those little details that make them stand out a bit. Honestly, that might be my favorite part. Every piece has something a little unexpected, like a fun print or a hidden detail, and then something that just makes it feel different from everything else that you already own, just subtle, but then changes the whole vibe of the outfit.

So I've been realizing since being here that those are the pieces that make the biggest difference, not the ones that you have to, you know, think too hard about, but the ones that just fit into your life and somehow elevate everything. You can wear it during the day, you can go straight to dinner, happy hour, grab a drink, and you still feel good in what you're wearing. That's very much the New York way, just so you know. Also, I feel like there's something really fun about finding pieces that feel just unique. Like, not everyone is going to have them almost feels like you discovered something, perhaps.

And this collection just has that vibe. It kind of gives you that feeling of having your own personal costume designer, but in a way that's actually wearable and not over the top. Like you're pulling inspiration from that fashion world, but then you're making it your own. And I've been trying to be more intentional about that lately. Just building a wardrobe that feels like me, but a slightly elevated version, I like playing around. You know, pieces that I'm excited to wear that make getting dressed easier and not harder. So if you're in that same mindset or you just want to refresh your wardrobe with pieces that feel a little more special, then you should definitely check this out.

Shop the On 34th Molly Rogers Collection Now in store or online at Macy's. Like I say this to women all the time in a world that asks you to be a mom and a wife and a best friend and gorgeous and, you know, like really chill about food and not age. But don't be too pretty, right? Because then you're conceded and you're a bitch. And don't be too smart because then you're aggressive. And don't stand up for yourself. Like, right? There's all of these, like, you need to strive for all of this perfection. But then as soon as you get there, they want to humble you. Always. Right? It's this constant shame spiral. And if you're not going after your dreams and using every minute of your day for the betterment of you and to make money, then like you're wasting your life and you're wasting your life. Oh, and then you get there to the dream and they're like, well, you made it. So how do I take you down? That's what it is. Crazy. And I just feel like, yeah, right? Or how many times has someone said to you to like be the bigger person and walk away and let things roll off your shoulders? And I think that tells us, that affirms to us that like we have

to give. We have to give up our respect. We have to give up all the things that we really, really yearn for in order to keep the peace and all of the... Well, you have a chapter called clapback confidence. Is that have something to do with that about like how we shouldn't just let things rule? Or what is it? Absolutely. Yeah. Like I will read you to filth. Yeah. If you are disrespectful to me or to somebody around me. I mean, obviously like sometimes silence is like the stronger option or safe option. But like, just, just, I've realized a long time ago that bullies are just insecure people themselves. As soon as you confront them, they're like, you know, they don't.

They either double down if they really like have some issues or they are like, they panic. They panic. Or they apologize, which comes after panicking, which is amazing. I always love an apology from a troll because I'm like, growth. I'm happy for them. Like I'm happy that we got somewhere. But you just gave me a thought. What's more dangerous?

drunk texting or sober honesty. Oh. They're the same thing, I think. Oh. Deep. I think they're the same thing. Drunk text or sober thoughts. That's true.

And you just are able to have sober honesty. Yeah, I love that. A clap back to me in a constructive way, if somebody's being disrespectful, so many people tell me to ignore the, and I do a lot of ignoring. Oh, yeah. But to me, I'm like, why would I not stand up for myself? Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it's, but it's ingrained in people. And they're just like, you're just giving them attention. You're just, you're, you're wasting your energy. And it's like, I think you've, I think you're misunderstanding. Me making a 60 second reel on somebody who's left a comment because I have time that day. First of all, I made that, I spent 60 seconds of my day doing this. I'm not thinking about it again. Also, I'm monetized as shit on social media. So I just got paid to clap back at like, right? And they did it for free.

I know. It's, I am totally aligned with you on that. It's called being a business queen. Okay. I love it. It's, it's so funny because I hate calculated people. And then sometimes I find myself being so calculated and loving it.

And I'm like, let me have it. Let me have it. You know, it's, it's not my whole personality. But when it, when it's something that actually feels like,

first of all, I think we're kind of the same in the fact that that's humor to us as well. Yeah, exactly. Like that's fun. It's funny. It is funny. And I like, especially what we're funnier than the person.

Well, you have to be funnier than the person because they're not funny. They're just trying to like, I thought about this today, actually. I'll never forget this. I'll never forget. I honestly can't remember her name. But a girl that I followed on Instagram, her name was Katie something. She had an unbelievable voice. I remember I followed her because I loved her music, but she started dating this guy who I thought she could do better then.

And I, this is before I was ever on TV. so I'm humiliated that I did this. But I was like, tell him to get a new shirt. I said that on her Instagram. And she wrote back and she goes, I like his shirt. K-bye. And everyone was like, Katie responded to you. And I was like, oh, my God.

But I was like, I was a troll. And I got the attention. And I was like, you, I know what that feels like. And sometimes that's all they want. But when you give it to him too much and then, you know, nowadays, this was back before Instagram was as big as it is. Now you got a whole community of people that are going to clap back for you as well. Oh my gosh. I feel so bad.

But like sometimes it goes because I do feel bad sometimes because if it's somebody that's just outwardly being hateful towards me, I'm like, this is great. They're about to learn a really harsh lesson. Uh-huh. Right. Because I, there is a whole like a little army of people on that team. But then also like sometimes it goes too far. I'm like, it's okay if somebody disagrees with me besties. Right. Right. Like if they just say you're wrong or like I don't agree. Like we don't need to attack that. It's okay for them not to like agree with me all the time. Yes. There's so many fine lines. Like gray areas on social media of like when to do what and how to do it. And it's so funny because even on that topic of the clapback confidence, I feel like you come across very confident. Obviously, that doesn't just happen overnight.

I feel like so many things have probably attributed. Can I talk today? That's the right word. That was correct. I said it and I doubt myself because I go, but that makes sense. what did you have to unlearn about yourself to start learning all these things about confidence and helping people on their journey to confidence? For me, I really had to let go of me thinking that everybody's constantly worried about me

and who I am and what I look like and what I sound like and all, you know, and the people that do like screw them. Like that's none of my business. Right. Honestly. I was just so consumed by that for such a long time. that I was like in a costume, right? And I, or I was a chameleon.

People loved that, like, analogy because I was just constantly changing who I was to fit the scenario in order to, like, I don't know, impress people. And then I just gave it up. Yeah. You know, over time. And then, like, once, like, once this part of my life really started, like, like, the social media and all of that, like I said, it was incredible to be recognized and acknowledged just for being myself.

And so it just like that kept It just kept going Yeah Right I was already on that journey Before social media And thankfully Right if I if I randomly became Social media famous

When I was in my 20s And a mess I would have squandered it Totally You know But I felt the power of You know Being seen

You know Realizing I can make something of this And then like the dream shifted And I was like Well I felt this Now I just Now I want to help everybody else feel seen

You know What are we afraid of? Like, why do we keep repeating these patterns? I think humans are really weird. Our brains trick us into thinking that we're protecting ourselves by making these bad habits. Yeah. Right? Like, mine was, I just, I, no matter what someone did to me, no matter the disrespect or how much they hurt me, I never confronted them because my doomsday was the relationship ending.

I was just, I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of being forgotten. I was afraid of not being loved the way that I loved, you know? And my brain tricked me into thinking that like I mattered more just because I was with somebody. You know, I think letting go of things, even if it's the right thing for us, is really scary because it creates a space. It creates this void that was filled by that person or that thing. And like I said, even if it's for the betterment of our lives, just the unknown, terrified. us as humans and we start to spiral second guess ourselves did I make the right decision wait is this

because of me you know what if what if I never love again or have love again and um so I've really had to reframe thinking rather than seeing space there thinking like well what's the opportunity what can I what can I put in that space right and so like what pieces of me did I silently and slowly give up because I was with this person you know it doesn't have to be super negative it's just like that's not something that we enjoy doing together, so I haven't done it in a long time. Right. Let's reintroduce that part of me to me. Yeah. Or what else can I put there that I didn't even know existed, you know, where was a possibility? And I've just learned so much more about me and who I am, and I don't have to manufacture chemistry with other people because I'm super content with myself first.

Okay. So then my question for me is I'm kind of the opposite, which you've gotten to the that place, but I'm there where I go, I'm more afraid to be in a safe relationship than I, I'm feeling alone and being by myself to me feels more secure and more comfortable. For me personally, feeling like in a safe, happy relationship is still scary because I know relationships are still work. And I know that people go through like the seven year itch or the this or the hard times and then involve kids and you lose yourself in a marriage or you lose yourself to being a mom. I'm like, being alone sounds really easy. Yeah, I think it's, I think here's the thing when we talk, when there's these conversations is there's obviously so much nuance. It's hard to have in like, you know, a one podcast episode.

Yeah. Because I think, you're right. I think people are afraid to lose themselves, especially somebody that obviously, like you said, you do so much for yourself. You are so independent and resilient. And because I've lost myself before and I go, we're not doing that again. Exactly. I also think that there's other. there's this other underlying fear in a lot of people that if they are in a series of bad relationships and when those end it's like it's easy to let those go but if you get into a relationship that is healthy and great and that person does deserve you and for some reason it fails that's a real failure totally in your mind right our relationship status isn't immoral anything yeah but that's what it feels like i know so yeah there's i mean even for myself i have a lot of

shame and two failed, failed, um, engagements publicly. But really, I'm like, why? Yeah. Like, there's no, I should have more shame if I stayed and like was uncomfortable and unhappy. The relationships existed. We learned things from them. Totally. You know, so much. Shaped us. Yeah. So good and bad. Yeah, exactly. That's, I mean, a big part for me is, is the benefit of hindsight looking back and going, oh, there's proof in my growth, confidence, and what I learned from these hard things, but how do you believe in the proof if it isn't there yet? Yeah, hard. Right? That, like, for people listening who are maybe going through the hard time right now or, like, don't see light at the end of the tunnel, it's like, how do you go, I've got the confidence, I'll get it back,

and I'll grow even bigger and better and stronger from it. Like, you're in the shit, and I don't think you should be already looking at that, but it's hard to, like, I always just want to hug people and be like, I promise you, you'll be okay. Yeah. Well, it like for me, it's just, I have to remind myself on hard days that like sadness or envy or anger, those are normal emotions to have. Yes. And so it's like I just stop putting so much pressure on myself to always be happy and always have it together. Yeah, you're not supposed, even in 24 hours, like you're supposed to feel a plethora of emotions. Exactly. So. You just give yourself permission, you know?

And it's, for me, you know, the hard thing was not allowing those things to harm me. Right. At some point. Yeah. It's really just fine, like getting a wedge into that moment. Yeah. And I'm sure sobriety helps think a lot clearer as well. Yeah.

People who, you know, who might be, like, when you say you look around at all the beer cans, would you drink like through the day? Or was it just? It was getting to that. It was okay. I was definitely always thinking about alcohol, like with friends, like going out at lunch. It was like, let's not, I don't want to go to McDonald's. I want to go to like a bar.

A place that has, yes. You're right. I want to go to a bar and have like a burger like with drink. Yes. Yes. I used to think I could only podcast if I was drinking. Right. Like that was something I had to check myself and be like, why do I think I can't do it?

But also it's and it's, but it's everybody. Yeah. When you are a sober person, you realize how much our culture is reliant on alcohol. We are not very creative with getting together as adults and doing something that doesn't involve alcohol. No, we're really not. And this is for people who do not have drinking problems. Right. Like, you know, it's like, let's go do this.

And it's like, do you want to go bowling? And then people are like, oh, you're the fun friend now. Yeah. Because I haven't done this in so long. Well, and that's so fun to realize what your definition of fun is. is once you become sober because you probably actually have so much more fun than you thought you did. Exactly. Well, because at the beginning of not drinking, it became really uncomfortable because I was still wanting to like be social.

I've always been a social person. And so being with all of my castmates and like contracts and they're having house parties and I was like, I don't know what to do with my hands. Yeah. You know? And I used to be the life of the party. And then for a little bit, I became a wallflower because I was. so uncomfortable. And then I just realized slowly over time, okay, I can still jump up on a table and shake my ass if I want to. Like there's nothing stopping me. That was me having fun regardless.

Yes. And then two, it is okay for me to leave. Right. I showed up people, it gets to a point. I realize that like drinks are flowing. Conversations have become very self-centered and repetitive. I was going to say, and repetitive. When people start repeating themselves and I always want, I always say to my friends. If I'm ever that person, call me out. If I'm like, they're like, you've already said that. Like, go home. Yeah. Please go to go home. Yeah. And so it's okay to like show up, have your fun and then leave because you're probably not missing much after that moment in time. Exactly. I totally agree. Okay, we all know this feeling when your to do list is so long. You don't even know where to start. Oh, I feel like that right now, actually. Work appointments, catching up with friends, remembering to drink enough water. Life is nonstop. And if you throw a

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literally everything else. So join the millions of happy renters. Find your next home at Apartments.com, the place to find a place. Lessons in not crossing a gay man. Sure. One of your series that I just love so much, which blew up as well. I feel like, is that not where so many people found you was, oh yeah. Okay, it is. Yeah, most, most people. I mean, probably half of my following, yeah. Where did that come from? My very first video. Oh, from the sister with this. God. Because I just randomly said at the very beginning, don't cross a gay man in his designer thing. Yes. What is the number one way people cross you or other gay men? What's the number one thing? Oh, for me, it's easy. I, one, am the sort of person that people feel very, like they would just want to like spill the beans to. Yes.

People talk to me all the time and just tell me. But that comes with the good stuff and the bad stuff. People think they can just talk to me. Yeah. I have the opposite of resting bitch face. Yes. And then, but for me specifically, there is just something about like my aura or the way that I carry myself that people snicker at me all the time. Really?

Yes. One of my most viral videos was I was in Sephora. So I was watching all, I was on TikTok. I was loving makeup content. I was like, you know what? I'm going to go get color matched and I'm going to start playing with me. Yeah. So I went to Sephora and this woman, this old lady was just.

That you were in Sephora? I mean, just staring me down. And I was just like, and I was like, just leave it alone. Yeah. Misha, just leave it alone. But she just wouldn't give up. So I was like, is there something you want to say to me? Yes.

And she was just like, disgusting. thing. I was just like, I said, your face looks like a bag of crinkle-cunt French fries. There's not a product in this store that is going to help you, lady. What did she say? She was like, you have about 14 days left on this earth. I would spend them a little more wisely than worrying about me and who I sleep with. Jesus.

Oh, my God. I love that. See, and as you should, that's where I'm like, why would you be a, what makes you bigger person when you stay silent in those moments. Well, and then, you know, and like I, people are, you know, I say in the books, I tell that story, you know, there was, you know, a young man who had a full face and makeup on that worked there. Yeah. Who was helping me.

Yeah. And for me, in that moment, like, not even just for me, but like, I'm standing up for him, too. Totally. Right? Yeah. I'm letting him know that it's okay for him to have that job and to have his passion and his art and all these things. You know, solidarity.

I, well, I love that. I just can't believe what comes out of people's mouth sometimes. Because, you know, a lot of people say like, oh, they'd never say that to my face. Well, they still give looks. And then once, I'll never forget the, what a lady saying to me, like, she literally went out of her way to come to a meet and greet that I was doing at a mall when I first came off the show. She lined up, stood in line. and when she got to me said, like, how disgusted she was with how I behaved on TV. And I was like, you waited in line to tell me that?

You're obsessed with me. Oh my God, you're a fan. Thank you. You are a fan. It's so I still like, I mean, people probably get sick of me talking about trolls on here because, again, they're probably like, don't get them attention. But I just, this shit that people will say in DMs, even just the other day, I was like, huh? Like, they're so concerned. with other people other than themselves.

Yeah. And it's just they need to be their own bestie. They need to be their own bestie. They are clearly not. And mind your own damn business. Yeah. I'm on your own damn business, lady at Sephora. If I have time, I usually ask my guest to tell me something, an embarrassing story, a

confessional. And I heard you have maybe one for me today. Yeah. Tell me. Okay. So you'll, you understand talking about what we were just talking about parisocial relationships. Yes.

Okay. So my husband and I, moved to Austin like four and a half years ago. And as soon as I got to Austin, I wound up on this algorithm where people were talking about how hard it was to find a primary care physician. Yeah. Like nobody was accepting new patients. So I said, let me try to get on this and find a doctor before I actually need one. Right. Right. Proactive. Yes. And so I call around. I just said y'all. Yalls. And I find this woman, a doctor, she's accepting patients. Get on the books. I go in and reception, normal. I go into a.

exam room. The nurse comes in. She does what nurses do. And then she's like, okay, just wait here. The doctor will be in with you shortly. It was like 45 minutes of me literally sitting in this room by myself. And I am not a patient person. So like somewhere around 23 minutes, I'm like looking around and I see a poster for the NUVA ring. So I like put up the stirrups. No, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. Just to see what it felt like. Well, no. And then the doctor comes in. And she's like, And I was like, I'm here for the NUva ring. She was like, no. And I was like, I'm just joking.

Sorry, you left me in here for too long. I'm just here for a physical. So I thought that that was going to be the most embarrassing part of the appointment. Well, yeah. So we're doing the physical. Everything's going hunky dory. Then it gets to the part where they are looking for testicular cancer. So the woman, she has her hands.

She's groping me. We're fully at second base. Okay. And this is the time where she thought it was the most appropriate to whisper, I love your videos. No. Why do people do this? Hand on my balls.

I get that it's just another Tuesday for her and she deals with balls all day every day. But can you not read the patient? I was like, oh my God. A whisper. And it was whispered. It was so uncomfortable. What did you do? And I was like, so is everything fine then?

And then I made a joke about HIPAA. So how strictly do we adhere to HIPAA? She's not my doctor. The same thing happened to me when I was doing, freezing my eggs. And I was getting an ultrasound, and she puts the wand in after she lubs it up. And she goes, I'm such a huge fan. And I was like, now is the time? Why did they do that?

is it just like that's when they feel the most comfortable? Maybe. I don't know. I was just like, I was bright red probably for the rest of the day. Yeah. I cannot believe that this woman just did that. When they're, I mean, I already feel so, I know they're just doing their job, but I always feel violated, like, uncomfortable and like, like, I'm even like clenching right now

just because I'm uncomfortable. For them to be just so casual and drop something about how they know who you are and, like, watch your videos and whisper? The whisper really makes it. Yeah. Wow. She just thought, wait, was it the same woman that walked in with your feet in the strap? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She probably thought you guys were there. She thought we were best buddies. Yeah. But I was just like, you give off that demeanor of everybody's bestie.

There we go. That's incredible. That is incredible. Thank you so much for coming on the pod today. Tell everybody where they can get your book and follow you. Yeah, you can get my book anywhere. I don't know why I always ask that question. It's literally the same answer every time for people. They're like, anywhere you get books. Literally anywhere you get books. Yeah, but you can find my book or all of my stand-up comedy tour dates on my socials at Your Bestie Misha. Oh my gosh. So how often do you tour? I like most weekends throughout like at least through the summer right now.

What kind of venues do you do? Different ones. Different kind of comedy clubs. Like a city winery like a zanies kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Doing all sorts of kinds of things. I love it.

I love getting to meet the besties in real life. Isn't that fun. Have hugs. They all bring my book even though it's not a book thing anymore. That's adorable. It's so cute. People who are. like genuine sweet, supportive followers are always the kindest people.

Yeah. Like I love meeting people who come to the live podcast because they care. And you're like, I always say this. I'm like, I'd be friends with you. Yeah. You know, I just had a lady in Central Park. Her and her friend were on one of the carriages. Yeah.

Oh, but no, not the carriages. The man with a bite where he's like pulling him. Yeah. And she literally went, stop. And she just like made that man stop. And she got out and she gave me a hug. Oh. pictures.

That's really sweet. Just so adorable. I love that. How long have you and your husband been together, by the way? Five years. Five years. Yeah. That's awesome.

So you believe in love then? Yeah, believe in love. Damn it. Now. That will go away. Just kidding. Just kidding. Thank you so much for being on the pod.

I loved chatting with you and I can't wait to read your book. That's yours. It is? Yeah. Oh, yay. Thank you. I literally, I just finished reading. That's the Theo of Golden.

Have you heard of that book? No. Do you like reading like fiction? Yeah. Oh, okay. You got to read it. Okay. Everybody, um, go read out. Okay, we all know this feeling when your to do list is so long. You don't even know where to start. Oh, I feel like that right now, actually. Work appointments, catching up with friends, remembering to drink enough water. Life is nonstop. And if you throw apartment hunting into the mix, well, forget about it.

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of happy renters, find your next home at Apartments.com, the place to find a place. At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light, and I was transported to another place. Pluto TV! Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live.

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Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never. Hi there. It's Becca Tobin. I am currently the mother of a four-year-old, which means I have been through it. But I still have questions and maybe even a few answers. From surrogacy to toddler chaos, I have learned a lot and also not nearly enough. That's why I decided to launch Baby Gang, a six-part series from the Lady Gang, where I'm getting real about fertility, parenting, and all the stuff nobody actually tells you. I'm bringing in some experts for the tough stuff and some other celeb moms and friends for parenting survival stuff. It's honest, it's messy, it's emotional, and yes, we are definitely laughing through it. Because whether you're in it, thinking about it, or just curious, we've got you. So join the baby gang wherever you get your podcasts.