Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Monica Jade Davis | Love is Blind Exclusive Post-Reunion Recap!

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

#786. In this exclusive post-reunion interview, *Love is Blind* Season 7’s Monica Jade Davis is finally answering the burning questions fans have been waiting for. From behind-the-scenes drama with Stephen and uncut moments that didn’t make it to the reunion, to the jaw-dropping discovery of incriminating texts, Monica is here to set the record straight. She shares her thoughts on Stephen’s apology, reveals her new relationship, and opens up about how the show impacted her real life. Plus, Monica reflects on what she’s learned and the regrets she has along the way. Prepare for a candid, unfiltered look behind the scenes—this episode is raw, revealing, and full of truths you won’t hear anywhere else. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Alo Yoga: That’s ALOMOVES.com code VINE for a 30-day free trial, and 20% off an annual membership. Dime Beauty: Go to DIMEBeautyCO.com to unlock your discount! Macy’s: Head to macys.com or pop into the store before November 6th for the Macy’s Winter Stock Up Sale! Oak Essentials: See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with eye gaming ontario this off the vine. Hey everybody welcome to off the vine podcast. I'm your host Caitlin bristow today we have Monica from love is blind a true queen who didn't give us a lot at the reunion so I asked questions about everything what is stephens kinks what were the fetishes that everybody was talking about How much was the Venmo? What is she actually thinking during the reunion? And what did she say that was cut out? We get all of the answers that you could possibly need from Monica. Love is blind. I love Nashville. I was just there for like what, Memorial? No, not Memorial. Labor Day. Labor Day? What did you do? We went to, what's the name of the hotel? My boyfriend, people just like found out. I have a boyfriend, but I've been dating someone all year. And he has the son. And so it was our first time all of us going on vacation together. Fun. And we went because he's nine and like they have an amazing water park hotel what's it called oh the opry yes yes so we stayed

there we had so much fun at the water park it's a great we took him to the grand old opera like we went to a lot of cheesy wait so people just found out you have a boyfriend i post no one knows what his face looks like or anything but yeah i posted a picture yesterday on my instagram of like behind him and i'm like and it's been you've been dating for a year yeah we started dating in january and when did filming end filming ended for me for me like the Halloween party that y'all saw, that Great Gatsby party was Halloween. So like November, early November.

So then you started dating this person in January and are you going to keep it private for now or are you going to share it at some point? So I'm going to share it at some point. The internet's just been so difficult and hard and because of his son. And I have a really great relationship with his ex-wife. That's nice.

I'm just trying to be like. Ooh, sounds healthy. Yeah, right? What is life? Yeah. Do you think, I always think about stuff like this where you go through the most unnatural, out-of-body experience, where it just puts you through the ringer that actually sets you up for so much success because of how far you've been,

like, beaten down and your, like, soul is so exposed and then you... 100%. Yeah. Like, I started dating him when I was 36. I'm 37 now. Yeah. And, like, I've been through the ringer, like, most, you know, I think women today who are dating and single.

And coming off of the show, everything that happened with Stephen, I was like, another cheater. Like this. And then so quickly and easily falling into that relationship, I'm like, this was all meant to be. Yeah. Like it had to happen because this is the best thing that's happened to me romantically. Sometimes that happens for people right away. And then sometimes, you know, you got to be patient with the world and your timing. But sometimes it's just like, oh. And then other times it takes a few years. And you're like, oh. Totally. It's usually been the opposite for me. It's been, you know, touch and go. Cheers. Cheers. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to be here. I am so embarrassed that I just poured this in plastic cups, but at the spade and sparrows, there's no rules. I love it. We just drink wine and we enjoy it. How nice is it feel, though, to, like, have some privacy with a relationship? It feels really good, especially because, for the first time ever in my life, like, nothing feels private.

Right. Even, like, coming here and flying here, like, at the airport, I was, you know, I'm so grateful for everyone who comes up to me and does something nice. But it's just so overwhelming. Yeah. I like to put words in people's mouths. You did a great job taking that one right now. A girl text, not text me, she DM me and she goes, just ask questions and let her talk. I was like, you got it. Please don't do that.

Please. Well, I have a lot of questions, so we will get through a lot of that. But I like that for you. You know, it's for everybody at home with the timeline, it's so different. And for you, you're like, I had to relive it so many times. And then again, for the reunion. What was the man that you were seen? What was his thoughts of all of this, of you going on the show and what you had to go through?

He's been incredibly supportive. Yeah. He was actually in the audience at the reunion. He was. Yeah. Did they show his face? They show his face. But they don't say like Monica's boyfriend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's in there. That's awesome. He's smoking hot. And he's like the sweetest ever, but he's such a babe. And yeah, he's been, but someone wrote yesterday of like, oh, I heard her boyfriend was in. the audience, maybe that's why she didn't come as hard at Stephen, and then other people are like, you were too hard on Stephen, but anyways, he was in the audience, right?

Who said you were too hard on Stephen? You can't, is what I'm realizing. No, you can't. You really can't. And the internet will prove that to you every single day that you try, and that's why you can't try to win. Yep. But it's so frustrating because the noise is probably so loud for you right now, because, again, everyone just saw the reunion the other day. But I thought you were too quiet from my opinion. But also, I know it's an edited show. Did you say more and did they edit it out? Yeah. There's a lot more said, I think. Tell us. I'll tell you everything. Yeah. Everything. What the heck. But all together, that's what's been very frustrating about many of the comments since the reunion came out. Yeah. Like,

it was filmed for five hours. Yeah. And you saw 90 minutes. Right. So I said a lot more. I've, you know, came at him for things. But also it ended with me saying, like, just as a reminder, I do forgive you. Right. Forgive you, Stephen, for what you did. And I did, I forgave you a while ago. But it doesn't mean you didn't hurt me and we're not like, we're going to talk about that. Yeah.

Even like the whole Nick D conversation, which you can talk about. But like, it took us girls a very long time to say what we ended up saying about Nick. We just wanted to sit there and not get in anyone's business. And for two hours, we were just quiet. And there were, you know, there was a moment where it was like, all right, guys. like we took a break and produced people was like what are happening yeah like you know we all have to just the things we've been saying behind the scenes and you know we have to say it we just we have to put it out there so nick d yeah i feel like the whole time people just felt like he was a golden

retriever like he was so lovable and like so sweet and loved his family and everybody was really hard on hannah yeah and then at the reunion it kind of felt like everyone was like f you nick and nobody said anything about the Hannah stuff. Yeah. What was that in real life? How did that situation go down? So I love Nick. Like, he's great.

He's got incredible confidence. He's 10 years younger than me. Like, he was one of the youngest guys on the show. I was the oldest woman. And I, like, dated him more than one day. Like, I talked about age. And he was like, I'm not scared. Like, you know, we didn't date for super long.

But I was like, yeah, he's just very lovable and likable and sweet and great. All that being said, I think of for being. really on. And I still love Nick. Yeah. I love Nick and I love Hannah. The reality of that situation is everyone who the audience got to know, most people, I shouldn't speak for everyone, most people who the audience got to know this season, after filming was done, the years gone on, if we were to have conversations around, you know, people who knew we did the show would say, what was your season like? Who, you know, we wouldn't say it to people we weren't supposed to, but like, who was the villain? We'd all kind of look at each other and be like, the only person who might have a hard time

when the show comes out as Nick D. Really? That was like our real-life experience from the guy's side, the girl's side. It was just like if anyone might have a hard time, it was Nick. Because it came up across a little cocky at first. Well, Ann, we knew about things like the note that Hannah found. And we knew about things like him talking about her looks the whole time. Right.

What none of us really knew was watching it back. Like, I had no idea. Hannah was that hard on Nick. Yeah. I think I watched it a lot differently than many of the views. because I was kind of like, well, some of this makes a little, make sense. Like, he was, you know, not being the kindest to her. And it didn't feel like he was super into it.

And so she was, some of those insecurities are, yes, likely her own. But also, if your person's not making you feel attractive or cared about, then those insecurities come out too. So. I agree. I, sometimes I do get scared for having my opinion because a lot of people will disagree. but I actually saw certain things of where Hannah was coming from. If you're going to get married to someone, first of all, you want to feel like they're attracted

to you. You do want to know if they have like a plan of moving out of their parents' place. You do want to know about their 401k. You do want to know about finances, how you're going to work together through them. Like she, yes, and she admits this, the delivery seems it comes across very harsh and a little passive. Yeah. But all her, the conversation is.

were the right conversations to be had. 100%. I think that when I, as someone who watched all the seasons of Love is Blind as, you know, a fan and a viewer and then did it when I think about like, what's the one thing I didn't understand? It's you're actually in real life walking to an altar in like five weeks. Yeah. And so once you get back to D.C. and you get your phones back, you know, you get text

from your sister and your mom and you have, you know, you're like, hey, the wedding's going to be on this date. Right. What bribes me and dress color do you? Like my sisters who live in L.A. are like, we're going to book flights. We're coming. So that's happening. And if you're having any doubts, there's no room to not bring them up. It's like every, whether someone's talking too much like Steven or like finances, who's going to pay the bills, it's like we are actually going to the altar. And like in a real relationship, maybe I don't have to, you know, kind of like.

No, because you actually get married. You actually get married. And you will actually have to sign divorce papers and go through all that if it doesn't work. I think a lot of people think that's fake. Yeah. No, it's real. A real marriage, you know, truly. Isn't it interesting how people sit at home and they would do the exact same things, maybe worse? Yeah.

But it's so easy to judge because, again, it is an edited show. So we, yeah, we saw a lot of Hannah being hard on Nick. We didn't see him talking poorly about her looks, him not being super attracted to her. They kind of made him out to be this sweet little innocent. innocent one and her because you know they're they're they cast for these purposes so how's Hannah feeling the internet has been very hard on Hannah very hard I mean she's in a good space as good as one could be I saw her last weekend she just like me and you know other women and men from the cast can watch it back and be like I should have said that more you know nicer or

I could have been more pleasant there and so she recognizes all of those things but all also at the same time, I think that I can't imagine being in her shoes where so much of the other side of what people got to see was so perfect. And Nick is amazing and he's lovable. But sure, sure. You know, there was, there's a lot more to the story. So how did that come out at the reunion where it got to a place that you guys were like, no, we got to call him out because he's not perfect either? How did it get there? This was something in terms of like knowing the actual truths of the relationship as it was unfolding between Hannah and Nick.

Yeah. I would have a conversation with my producers, like, knew that this is something that many of us thought, just like, gosh, is he really here for the right reason? Right. Leading up for the reunion, you have conversations to just prepare for logistically, the reunion and all those things. And so you might mention it of like, oh, you know, or they might mention it, things in the past. So when we got there, you know, you film, we film for a couple hours, you take a break,

and then you film for a few more hours. and I think, I will say, the first half, I was like, besides getting to hear about the married couples and a happy art, like, love them and so happy for them. It was kind of like, one of the producers said to me during the break, like, you guys are being really polite, very pageanty. Yeah. It was boring. Yeah. I was like, this is boring. Yeah.

Truly, this is boring. And it just didn't feel right. For me, it wasn't like a, this feels wrong that I'm not saying what I think because, oh, gosh, I need to stand up for Hannah. She's getting it so bad. It was more like, this is. actually what I feel, and I've said it all year. And like, I just have to say it. I have to be honest. Like, this is, this is not who I actually am in real life. Right. So I can't be scared of what the world's going to think or what Nick's going to think. I was like, Nick. Everyone's

going to get over it so fast, too, that you might as well say what you think. Might as well say it. And what's been fascinating since the reunion came out is, I can't believe it. For all of us, women, I think it was who said something, me, Alex, Marissa, and Hannah, kind of, we didn't plan this at all. We didn't, they keep us separate. We don't have a chance to plan out what you're saying. Yeah. And it comes time. And I think Marissa is saying something.

I'm like, I've got to be strong. I'm like, Nick, come on, be honest. And so for us, it was a very hard moment. Like, God, we did it. The world's going to get to just hear the other side of it. Coming back home online, the fans are like, you women are bullies. I can't believe, you know, why would you guys believe Stephen and Ramses who said that Nick said these things? Of course, they're lying.

I actually cannot believe that people think. like, oh, you guys just don't have the right story. I'm like, no, what, what we said would be true. Oh, I was there. You were. Yeah. These are facts. Yeah. So it's so mind-blowing that people are like still not understanding of you guys are fooled. It's perpetuated misogyny at its finest. Yes. It's, I mean, you'll never convince those people otherwise. Yeah. But a lot of, you know, the smart people and the people who have an open mind can see like, hey, that's not cool either. We didn't get to see that. Like, by this time, And we all know how reality TV works. We all know that things are edited out.

So. And can I say one more thing on that, too? It's like, by saying that, it was so hard to say. And so the intent was not like, we're going to say this. And all of a sudden, Nick's going to get so much hate and be villainized. We would never want that. Like, neither one of them deserves it. Right.

50, 50, both have made mistakes just like me and Stephen. Although I would say Stephen and I are like 70, 30. Yeah, yeah. 80, maybe. But that wasn't the point. But it was just more like, you know, there's more to the story. And do you feel like you guys got that across that there was more to the story? Or was there more that we don't know?

I think you guys heard most of what I know. So Stephen was the one that told you. Yeah, because if you think about it, like in real life, we're all dating. We're in Mexico. So we go hang out, we're at a party. We go up to the room. You know, once the cameras leave, Stephen's like, oh, my God, you know. Knicks at this.

And other women were saying, oh, my partner told me this as well. That is so not okay. Yeah. And like, how does he not? first of all, that's just so cruel and not nice, but how does he think that that's not going to get back around? And also, this is, if you weren't feeling it, how come he didn't just stop it there? Or at least, like, even if he was afraid to say it on camera, like, oh, I don't want to get, whatever, his reasons might have been. Now, you have to be honest. Yeah.

That's what was the most disappointing about Nick at the reunion. I mean, he, the reason my fans are still like, oh, everyone's lying about Nick. It's because Nick never said, even, you know, You guys are right. I said it. Right. So, like, you lied. And it, for me, that just go to show, because I know it's true, it's like, you are a great liar. Yeah. I don't like that. Because, I mean, again, people do forget and people will move on, but to have integrity in that moment and just say, I really f***ed up. Yeah. I f*** up. You know, hindsight is always 2020. I should have, like, I wonder if,

because he's coming on the podcast after, so I'm going to, you know, I'm going to ask. Yeah, ask him. Ask him. I'm going to ask him a lot. I think he won't. I don't. I don't. I don't. think he will ever admit, admit it. Being on that stage with him and how... Yeah. Like, he's convinced himself it didn't happen. It took so...

Like, what you all saw of just the Nick and Hannah part was a very large part of filming. Like, it took so long. And, you know, from when I finally was like, well, Stephen said it. Stephen very quickly was like, I did. But then when we, you know, Marissa was like, Ramses, are you going to say something? It took a lot. It was like pebble by pebble.

I don't know if that's your analogy, but like Little by Redmond. breadcrum, breadcrum, whatever it is. And finally, it was like, okay, everyone's saying it. Right. I was still like, I have no clue. I don't know what's going on. I mean, I see through people like that. And I can admit that people can still be lovely people and then sit up there and lie about something because it is embarrassing. It's humiliating that he would say something so awful about another human being that he was supposed to be in love with. Right. That's embarrassing. Yeah. He was probably in panic mode and he probably will stick to that story just because people are believing him. People who are not believing in other someone,

I don't believe shit that comes out of Stephen's mouth. The letter was for sure calculated. A hundred percent. I know people like that. The calculated moves to seem, like you said, he couldn't wait to say that on the reunion that he wrote a letter. It just, how were you containing yourself and also what did we not see that you said? I have millions of questions.

We'll start with that. Yeah. Okay. So first, it's crazy because Stephen and I, our relationship ended in. maybe like October 30th or early November of last year. Christmas comes around Christmas time and he, I get this letter. He'd asked me for my address, I think, and I get a letter. I read it and I think it was a letter to my parents, excuse me.

Yeah, it was a letter to my parents. Okay. Apologies, but I opened it before they did, obviously. And, you know, I showed it to my mom, my dad didn't even want to read about it. I'm like, this is so sweet. It took me a second. I'm like, this doesn't add up to what, like, my breakup with him and how, If you remember, when I caught him cheating, it was like, he looks at the cameras and he's like,

I will pay for this forever. He never, Stephen never fought for me. Yeah. He never, if he really loved me, it's like, and it's for the best, it was a blessing. Of course. I really loved him. And he never was like, hey, can we try? Like, I was like, did you ever really care most guys if I would, if that would have something blown up like that, they would have tried to fight for me.

And I would have hoped I would have said no. I think I would have. I should have said no. Right. But, yeah. So he sends the letter. And I'm like, I read it to Ashley and I are like, from the show, our best friend. So I shared it with her.

And pretty immediately, we were both just like, he is sending this to be able to bring it up at the reunion. Immediately, like, the day. I was like, my mom was like, it's so sweet. I'm like, it doesn't add up to the behavior. Right. So then I was like, maybe I'm wrong. Within the first five minutes of Stephen talking on the reunion stage, when that comes out of his mouth, I'm like, knew it. Knew it.

What? Can you share with the letter setter? would you rather not? I wish I had it with me. I'd read the whole thing. I don't really remember. It was just like I'm really sorry for letting you all down and you guys seem like wonderful people and Monica talked so highly of you and my parents were looking forward to meeting you guys and I, you know, screwed up royally and I'm really sorry. There was one part of it. That was, I do remember one part because it was like, this doesn't really make sense, but he was like, Mrs. Davis, you seem like such a wonderful and amazing person because you're, you're,

Your home decor looks like my mom's home decor. No. And like that part when I read it to Ashley, she was like, that doesn't. Like, this is what I mean? No, he's just like, what? That doesn't make sense. So that's very interesting. Yeah.

And I'm laughing because I'm just like picturing him writing this. When you were sitting there and he was realizing that you were having this conversation with him, like I saw these messages. Like he was so defeated and didn't even. Yeah. Like he knew he was like, I'm embarrassed. I'm going to. look stupid. I'm out of here. Like, that was it. Yeah. Did he say anything else? Like,

so, okay. So what's crazy about that night is people really don't understand this, this part of filming the show, and they're really confused by moments this season that were not caught on camera, right? Me and Steven, the Alex and Tim thing. Like, there's been a lot of feedback about that. There needs to be Big Brother cameras everywhere. Like those types of shows, when there's a camera 24-7, it's, I don't think I'd be bold enough to do that because, like, they can catch you having sex and being physical. But they're not going to, or do they show them? They show, not like, you know, under the covers. Oh, yeah, yeah, that kind of stuff. So once you get back to D.C., the schedule kind of changes and every single couple has their own team. You get two days off of filming a week.

And you're together. And you're together. Yeah. You're living together, but they have to give the crew two days off. Sure. So. I'm surprised they don't separate you guys in those two days. I mean, I guess you need all the time you can together. But so much. So much can happen in two days that doesn't make sense with the storyline. Yeah. It's true. It's now that I've done it. Yeah. Like I was, I don't, I watched reality on TV.

I'm a house by his girl. But it's so interesting that they, too, I'm glad that they let us. But yeah, you miss things. So that day happened to be the first time ever, Stephen and I weren't filming back in D.C. Because we had the day off and I had just gotten back from Mexico, I used that day to like, get my hair done again. Like, I was all over the place getting myself together after. being gone for a few weeks. So I get back home. It's nighttime. We're having so much fun in our apartment. Everything's great. I end up, the whole thing happens where I find the text and I'm happy to

elaborate on that if you want me to. But I'll fast forward to the juicy part that no one really knows yet because I have some people, I feel like I've shared a little bit of that and I will share it again, but I found the text. Yeah. And then when I find them, I am so caught off guard. Right. Shocked. Like, he's in the bathroom and I'm like, scrolling. I step into the bedroom. Yeah. Because I was out in the, and I'm like, Oh, I hate that feeling. Do you? Shogged. Oh, my. I'm so shocked. Then he comes out. We have a conversation. And I remember thinking, I don't, I wasn't even, it's not like when I did the show, producers would say, on those two days off, if something happened, make sure you call me. It wasn't like that.

It was like, just live your life. Prepare for the wedding. It was like a real. But I ended up immediately called. I was like, Stephen, you have three things. One, pack your shit, get the hell out. you can call our producer, I will. Like I gave him, I forgot what the third one was. And he was just roaming around the apartment, like slamming on the walls, just like, he got caught. And he was like, you know. And so I was like, TikTok, call Liz or I will. And so when I called Liz, what's interesting to me about that, thinking back on it is I didn't, I never in a million years thought I was calling Liz and they were going to send camera crews, which they did. And Liz is your producer. Liz is that producer. Thank you. Yeah. I never thought that would happen. I was calling Liz to be

like, you know when you decide to break up with someone and you have, like, to tell your mom or your dad, because you know, then you'll never go back. Yeah. I was like, I don't know if in a second from now he could convince me to be like, here's what happened. Right. It wasn't a big deal. And I would just show up the next day at filming tomorrow and never say anything.

Right. I don't know. I, I, so I called her to just be like, hey, I caught him doing this and I need you to know because we're breaking up. I am not letting him. He betrayed me so deeply. And then, of course, the whole production thing happens, and camera crews come. And so there's, like, some gaps in that.

The reason why I was so shocked and taken it back, and I think a very big part of the reason why Stephen was so quick to be, like, people were like, he looked so defeated. And some people, a very small portion of the population it feels. Most people are like, that was heartbreaking for you, Monica, and we felt for you. But some people were like, well, you were so hard on him. And he was so defeated in that moment because you were so hard on him and he was looking for an out. And I'm like, no, he was so defeated in that moment because he knew you.

Yeah, that's, I've been cheated on so, so many of Stephen and I's conversations in the pods in Mexico was about cheating. Like, that is, that was what I was worried. My story might be. Like, yeah. I talked a lot about how much I'd been through it. And Stephen really promised to protect me. And it was, so I was like, you did, are you kidding me?

I couldn't, I really couldn't believe it. Yeah, because so many people were like, did you not see signs? Were there no red flags? And you're like, no. Polar opposite. Polar opposite. I would have never. I thought that Stephen has his quirks. I have my flaw. You know, he's like a quirky, goofy, nerdy guy. And I was like, I loved so many things about him. And I was like, this is what I've been looking for, you know, for 36 years. It's like he was the good guy. Like other girls who would come back from dating him in the pods later on when we started towards the end talking about who we were with. Other girls would be like, yeah, he's just, like, kind of nerdy eye, but he's, Monica, like, you, no one here deserves love more than you. You've been through so much of the old. He's perfect for you. He's like the dad nerd sweetheart teddy bear angel. Oh, no. So, yeah. So. And then like, freaky fetishes. Who, you know, talks about, he has, he has a weird sense of humor, like the comments around sticking his in mac and cheese and pineapple. Now that things played out the way it did, a lot of people think, like, he was being serious. I, I always thought he was joking. Well, because you could, I mean, I say the most inappropriate humor ever, especially off the record, I say the weirdest shit. But him saying that leading into these fetishes was great editing and great production.

I just want to, like, make sure I'm not missing anything. So when you, he was in the shower, the bathroom or whatever, did like this name come up on the phone? Yeah, so let me, sorry. And you're like. I'll take a sit back and tell you. So basically. that day, all the couples live in the same apartment building together. And so we like, hang out. We all were back at work, workout routine, trying to like, but, you know, we're all in the same

building. And Taylor and Garrett, we set up a fiancé's chat for everyone that you all got to know in Mexico and after. And Taylor and Garrett sent a group text that morning saying, hey guys, they're so cute. Hey, guys, we're going to be baking full goods and treats today. And we want to drop them off to each of your apartments. We'll be by later tonight. So, Stephen and I, are hanging out in the apartment, like literally laughing. I have pictures on my phone of, you know, what we were doing that night. We were having a really fun time. Yeah.

And he's like, oh, babe, I have to go to the bathroom to pee. Yeah. So he goes and he steps, it was crazy timing. He says in the bathroom to pee. His phone's there. And it's text. Yeah. And it says, hey, man, we're coming by in like two minutes, drop off the, or maybe five

minutes or drop off the treats. I don't know what they were. If you guys would be there. So I was like, oh, babe, not even things. thinking anything. Oh, babe, Garrett just texted. I'm going to send him a text back to say, we're here. Come on in. I would do the same thing. And I'm saying it to him as I'm doing it. And I'm like, next thing you know, I'm in his text, truly. And I see a woman's name at the top. And I trusted him so much that I remember for a split second being like,

I don't need to click that. And like, it was divine intervention. I clicked it. And what's crazy is after that, even Garrett told me, Garrett was like, Garrett had never ever, up until that text, sent Stephen a one-on-one text. He was like, I typically, like, we've just never even text it or communicated in that way. But the fact that he did, and I happened to see it, and that's the reason I click, like, there could have been a world in which I would have been standing at the altar with this man. And you would have said, I do. I don't know about that. Okay. I don't know about that. I don't, I don't think I would have said I do. Really? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Table that. Okay. Because I would like to come back.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So. I did love him so much. I really, truly did. Yeah, no, I believe you. I could tell. Even just the way somebody kisses somebody, you can tell if they actually... Yeah. I felt it. I'm glad you did. I did. So much of what viewers got to see in our relationship, which wasn't surprising to me because in reality, we were the first breakup. Yeah. So when I was thinking about how the show might pan out, I was like, I'll get like the shortest amount of air time. People...

Right. But watching it, I was like... And I understood why, because it was more... way more important for people to see all the amazing parts of Taylor and Garrett and Ashley and Tyler. But I felt like a lot of the really wonderful moments between Stephen and I weren't shown. And that's okay. I'm sure everyone feels that way. Because they have to set it up that way. Yeah. But we, so some people have been like, you know, you never liked that guy or like, you guys had nothing in common. I don't get it. I'm like, we, we, that's not the way it was. Yeah. Yeah. Again, we are filming all the time

and you see this. Snip it. So then you see you, you're like, I'm going to click on Yeah. Obviously, you're happy you did because otherwise, who knows how this would have went. And how did you react in the moment? Because I think of myself and I would either go one of two ways, which I think this would be everybody. I would either stay so calm and be such a passive aggressive psycho queen. Or I would be like, what the fuck? Right. Like, what did you do? What did you do? Okay. So you stepped into the other room. Cameras weren't there. And cameras are not there. And you're reading some. some freaky stuff. Some freaky shit, yeah. And it had gone all the way back. It had gone. It was... And a lot of freaky stuff or normal?

Was he talking about like, I'm on love is blind? No, I didn't see that. Oh. I didn't see that. Okay. I think you stayed calm. I was so calm. Yeah.

I was, I was calm. Yeah. Similar to how I was kind of at the reunion. I have attitude. Like, I'm like, get your shit. But very calm. And then in that moment, he's freaking out because he's like, I've been caught. I'm going to look like an absolute idiot on television.

He cared he got caught in this environment. And then you called the producer. So then the camera's set up and we're right into it. Right into it. It was crazy. And he truly, like, no editing there. He truly just was like, yep, you're right. Okay, I'll get out.

Didn't fight for you. Nope. I walked. I couldn't believe it's quick. Like, when he walked down, he's like, I'm going to go. I was like, okay, bye. And then that was. It was so hurtful.

It was super hurtful. Yeah, that's what I think made me so sad for you because I think you were like so strong and in your power and, like, telling him and you were doing everything right. But then when he was gone, you were like, wait, do that hurt. Yeah. I was being so, I was like, I'm very sensitive and emo and, like, we'll cry. I cried on the way here on my flight, watching Real Housewives of Orange County. Oh. Like, I'm very, like, sensitive. Yeah. Watching Real Housewives of Orange County. Truly, like, the most family, I'm like, oh, God, literally tears coming on my cheek. I'd be like, Marley and, like,

Like Orange County. But I was exhausted by the amount of times I've dealt with this. And I don't say it to sound like a victim. But like when you're betrayed in that way, it's traumatizing. It is. And I've cried and I've like, I found myself in situations where I'm so gaslit that all of a sudden I find someone cheating on me. And within, you know, 30 minutes, I'm the one somehow asking the person to stay. Like, I've done all of that. And I was like, are you kidding me? Like, so I refuse to. let him see me cry. I was like he's not going to see me cry. I wonder how he felt. Do you know how he felt watching it back when he didn't watch it? He didn't watch it. Stephen and I believe this. He didn't watch. He stopped watching after the pop after our reveal. Okay. I have two really big questions. One, what was the fetish? What were the kinks that he was talking about? The thing that's really up and sad about that situation is in terms of like my my trauma and what I've been through. is I had that phone. He was in the bathroom.

He wasn't like, I went to the bedroom and I was like reading. Yeah. Reading, reading. Then after a few minutes, I come out and I'm like, hi, you know, your phone. Look you here. Then cameras come and my producer's there and I'm talking and they're trying to get me to be like, what was in the text? Like, what was the girl's name, anything?

And I was like, I don't remember. Yeah. I didn't remember anything. And I read all of it. The only thing I do know for sure that. I read was him saying, I've never, the exact words, I've never been able to find anyone else that satisfies my kinks the way you do. But then there were a lot more. And some of them I've been, I think I know he said something about like jizzing on a girl's back or something. But I'm like,

also am I lying about that. So I shouldn't say it out loud because it wouldn't be being totally honest. But they were very kinky. Wow. Yeah. And like there's, I hate when people try and justify emotional cheating because it didn't actually happen. Did he ever or the internet ever gaslight you into thinking like that wasn't actually cheating? Honestly no. Okay, good, good. It's surprising. No one has done that. And then my other big question is how much did he owe you on Venmo? So, so he owed me. He paid me 400. Okay. He paid me 400. I honestly didn't remember how much he owed me, but he, I blocked him like a week ago because he really pissed me off. And but before that, I'll tell you.

Okay. But before that, he posted a story, something that someone sent me. And I think that this is right. I think he owed me $2.35, actually. And he said in his story, he's like, yeah, I owed her $2.35. But I was like, oh, you can round. I think I remember saying something really bitchy. I was like, you can round up.

Yeah. For my time. I was like, you can round up, make it $250 or something. But he paid me $400. Okay. And I think I said something really mean after that of like, you don't have to, don't go crazy. Like, I don't know if you can afford that. Which is really mean.

But I was very hurt. And, yeah. We all say mean things when we're hurting. It's, there's a line. I don't think he crossed it. Yeah. I don't think I did either. No.

I don't think I did it. I was wondering the whole time I was like, that Venmo moment was so iconic. It was so iconic. Can I tell you why I said it? Please. Because I'm like, I remember after filming telling my sisters and my cousin, my family, I'm like, I think the thing that's crazy is I did ask him to Venmo me. Like I like, I remembered saying something of it when he rounded up to 400, which was crazy.

I'm like, why are you being dramatic? Yeah. You only need $2.50. Let's call it even. Right. But that comment that I said something being like, don't go crazy. I don't know if you can afford that. So I remember doing it and then watching it back, I was like, damn, I was really proud of myself. I had an ex who I lived with. He cheated on me. And when we broke up, we being like the sometimes in relationships that I am, I was like, oh, don't worry. You don't have to pay me back right away. He would me like $1,100. Oh. And he always said he, it was like flight relationships.

So we had to do it within a year. And as, you know, he was like, oh, I'll do it by this day. I'm coming, coming, coming. As it started getting closer, he got annoyed with me because when he was ready to then use the flight and book it and pay me back my, you know, the $1,100 in cash, not flight credits, that he owed me. I was like, hey, I'm on a flight. Like, I'm in Miami. Can I get back to you tomorrow? Right. And he was like, no, I need to do it, you know. And so we got in a little bit of an, we were emailing, a little tiff. And it ended with him saying, you, you can eat the, you can eat it, you know, just so mean, and he never paid me back. So it wasn't like, not that I think anyone thinks this, but in that moment, I wasn't trying to think of something, you know, salacious or

funny to say. I was genuinely like, hey, before you leave, I got to. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're like, wait, I've learned this lesson before. I've learned. Yeah, you might not, you might get mad at me in the future and not pay me back. Your heart right now, where you're at, you're obviously in a relationship and moved on and had to relive it. But where are you at right now? with your feelings towards Stephen? I, what's been hard recently with him is we're not on good terms. Yeah. I, like, we could go, blocked him.

And I think what was very, very frustrating for me is because of all the shit in my past with cheaters, with Stephen, I was upset, but also was hoping to get to a point of forgiveness a lot faster than I have in the past. Because what I've learned in very, you know, more recent years is like the anger that I've held on to you for these betrayals has never. serve me. I found myself being like literally a crazy person, like, you know, stalking their Instagrams, just being like all of the shit that comes, that's normal, but like unhealthy and was unproductive for me. So I was really quickly like how, and I have a great therapist and I have for

four years, it was like, how do we get to the point of forgiveness? Yeah. As fast as possible. It's a tricky one. Yeah, it's tricky. But we got there. Yeah. Nice. But leading up to the reunion, Stephen was very, very in touch. When I say very, you know, I'm in a relationship. It wasn't anything. Yeah. But, but he was trying to, in my opinion, be like, we're really good, right? Yeah. Really good. Really good. He, and one of my girlfriends called me, she's like, I hate the way he is, she said it best. He's chasing you in the comments. Like, you know, the show had been out. Show had been out. Someone wrote something in my comments. I'd be like, oh, thank you so much. And he would kind of comment like, yeah, thank you. On behalf of both of us.

Like, I mean, it was crazy. So then we get to the reunion and I'm like, we're good, but you also hurt me. And we're not best friends. And I get to be allowed to save my peace of how much you hurt me. Right. And you disappointed me. And you put a ring on my finger at the age of 36. And my parents and all these things. And so I found out.

And then after the reunion, we didn't talk before. Even though he was like trying to. I was like, no, because I don't want you to then be like, why are you being so mean to me? We just hug. I gave him a hug. And I was like, we are okay. But like, I am allowed to say my peace. And it's fine.

We're not best friends, but I wish you well. And he had something in his pocket from a note that I wrote him. you know, when we were together, and it was fine. Then shortly after that, I, he, like two, no, last week or the week before I can't remember, I'm best friends with Ashley. Yeah. Ashley's married to Tyler. And Stephen reached out to Tyler randomly and was sending him, saying horrible things about me

because he's mad about my TikToks that I posted. Oh. I think there's nothing mean that I've said about him. Like, you're mad at me? Bro. I've been so nice to you what? Because I'm holding a YSL bag. And that's not even mean towards you.

Are you kidding me? Ashley overheard some of it. And so she's like, oh, my God, Stephen's talking crazy shit about you. And I was just like the audacity. How can the least he can do is just like the videos and move on and not say a word and be like, you know what I messed that up? She can do whatever she does. Whatever you want to do, you can do. You were humiliated on a very big television show by him humiliating himself, has

That girl that he was DMing with reached out to you at all? She hasn't, but he's lucky because based on how he was talking about me, he was shitting on my relationship, like, you know, her boyfriend's going to leave her, like, just really mean things. And I know things about the girl that would be very terrible, very bad to say out loud. Yeah. And I won't. It would never give away who she is or I would never do that.

But there are things there that are pretty wild, but she hasn't reached out to me. I don't even know. I wonder if she, I would imagine she probably knows. I don't know if Stephen had other girls that he was also texting in that way. You know, I don't know. No, I only saw one, but I don't know, you know, you know. Oh, you don't know. Another thing I wanted to say to you, and I said it and you said it, we said something about like, see, I saw something that was so funny.

And I now try and stick to this is, have you ever, like, flicked a nutsack before? Like, guys go down in two seconds. Why are we calling people? We should be calling them Ballsack. That's really good. Yeah. So switch to you to Ballsack. Okay, I'm going to do that.

I'm such a ball sack. Yeah. You were such a ball sack in that moment. So much better. That is so funny. Were there other things that we didn't see from the reunion? Like, other guys, did they say things about their girls that you're like, oh, that's not cool? Like, were there things that didn't make it where you're like, that should have been on TV?

In the reunion, I, the thing, you know, the Nick and Hannah thing went on for a really long time. It did. It went on for a really long time. Yeah. So, like, when we all start speaking, like, and we're getting a very hard time about all of that. Mean girls, bullies, it was like, it went on for a long time. Mean girl bullies. He was the bully.

And then I feel like there was something with Stephen. Oh, I, you know, I tell Stephen, and I do forgive you. Yeah. There was that of forgiveness. My boyfriend actually, Vanessa and Nick asked me if I was in a relationship. And I'm like, yeah. You know, and he's like looking up at me. So she's like, we're going to cut this out.

But what's your name? Yeah. He gets to say his name. And he was sitting by my sister and brother-in-law. But yeah, there was a lot that you guys didn't see. A lot, a lot. But I feel like in terms of like anything that would shock viewers that was cut out or just little things. No.

Yeah. No. Honestly, it was watching it back, I was like, because you're sitting there for so long. Yeah. Have you done anything like that on a stage where it's so cold? It was very cold. I guess because of the equipment, they have to make it like. I mean, I, and I had a cold. I was really sick. Oh, no. I was so uncomfortable. Like, the first

two hours I was like, if you can see me, I'm like laying backwards like this. I'm sitting back the whole time. So watching it back, I was like, oh, this is just, this is, it felt good to me because it was so much more condensed. Yeah, it was very condensed. I wanted more because, like, even when Vanessa was like, you know, you two can, this is getting weird, you two can talk about it off camera. I was like, no, Vanessa, we tune in to see this. Talk about it now. I want to hear all of it. We're already getting an edited down version. I never want to be hard on host because I've been in their position. You have ear pieces in.

People are telling you what to say. You're having to navigate really awkward conversations. You're wanting to call people up, but you don't want to be like, you're really rude. But I was like the jokes, the wrap-it-up joke, I'm like, no. I know people didn't like, I was like, who's in their ear? Tell them to stop. I was like, Rams, I was like, Ramzes was very, I really, I felt. for him during the reunion. I fell for everything. I felt. I actually did too. He was so defeated. I mean, he was like, he went in. And what we watched before the reunion aired, there were two drops left. There were three episodes that no one had seen the world, us. And we get to the hotel the night before. And we watch those three episodes. And in those three are Marissa and Rahmsa's his breakup. Yeah. So he, when I saw him the next day, it was like, I mean, he was, and he was just like, he was really struggling. Yeah. I did feel bad for him. So I think those rapid up comments, I was like, oh, just, I don't know if he's

liking this. Like, I feel bad for them. I did. I did feel bad too. And also, I felt that Marissa literally broke my, she cracked me wide open with that cry of the heartbreak. Heartbreaking. Absolutely. The sounds coming out of her body were. Yes. And anyone who's ever been in that position probably like, it like reopened a wound for them because that kind of heartbreak is so hard. Yeah. But I also wanted her to look at it now as a blessing. And I wanted her mom to be like, you know because I'm like he was just being honest like he didn't see it and it wasn't for him like yes he could have approached it many different ways but we all fuck up when we're trying to like protect our own image while protecting somebody else's feelings while like dancing around like it's not easy to just be full out vulnerable and honest all the time and I did feel a little bit bad I felt for her in again I think viewers see this but real life experience I was when I say I was shocked that they broke up really everyone was shocked yeah We're so soft. Even watching it back and seeing some of their more difficult conversations.

Yeah. That was not. I was like, had no idea. Hi, you can come in and sit down if you want. Hi. Oh, you just walk right in. Come in. You're fine.

Yeah, come. Oh, my gosh. No, you can. Hi, Nick. What's up? Yeah. No. Can I give you a quick?

Please. Are you mad at me? Girl, that's the first thing you got to. say to me, of course not. You see, she actually does like me. I love you. She didn't say that. I know.

She was saying that. She literally sat down here until... I really do. I think you're the most amazing best, you know, just like, I have to be accountable to... I was a bitch at times. You, and no one's perfect.

You had to be a bitch. Thank you. You're just standing up for yourself. Thank you. And thank you. Thank you. People don't really understand how hard it is. Like, all this, all of it.

It is, and it's nice to meet you. So nice to meet you. I am so glad I got you. That, as a fan of the show, that was a really fun little mom. Yeah, you should include that. Well, I'm definitely keeping that in. I hate each other. Or like that we all, I love Nick.

Oh, you're asking me. Oh, the Marissa Ramses. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wrap it up. Yeah, you were surprised that they didn't make it. Shocked. Yeah. And they broke up just a couple days before the wedding.

Yeah. Something that's very important, though, there too, is like, heartbreaking for Marissa. But on the Rams's side, to your point earlier. There's no rules on love is vine. Right. There's no, like, don't talk about your looks in the pods or do. Like, you can, it's free will. Oh, really?

It's like, it's called love is mine. So, like, I wouldn't, you know, but do what you want. Right. And so no one says you have to make it to the altar or, and then say yes or no. But really, you know that, like, at the altar, you can say yes or no. No one tells you that. Right. Like, you could break up before, like, most of us did this thing.

But if Ramses, I think Ramses' love for Marissa is shown by the first. is shown by the fact that he did not do that at the altar. Yeah, yeah. Most people go to the altar and then you just say no. And he, you know, he was not going to do that to her because he knew. And so it's like he, that's something that he deserves to get recognition for, I think. I agree. What do you think about, like, past members coming back to be in the pods?

Oh, at the reunion? Yeah. Listen, for me, as someone who, again, watches all the seasons, loves the show, I'm like, oh my God, Marshall, you're so sweet, AD, you're so beautiful, like, Bliss, Zach. So I loved it. I've seen it online, that they're, what's hard is, there's only so much time. Yeah, I know. But I think the point of the whole show, even thinking of, or the experiment, I will say,

even thinking about me being in a happy relationship now, it's like, I really genuinely took a lot from what I learned as a 36-year-old woman in those paws that, and I brought it with me, brought it with me into this incredible relationship that I'm in. And I was like, kind of like, well, you know, maybe one day in the future if me and my partner end up having kids you wanted to and having a family and they invited me back. I'd be like, this is kind of a full circle moment for me because I get that. I know you said like everyone watching back was like, oh, I should have done that differently. Oh, I didn't. What was your biggest like watching back? What was your biggest regret or something you think you could have done better?

I think a lot of people who know me very well say I'm very funny. Like I have a, I think a pretty good sense of humor. I like to make people laugh. And, some watching it back and reading what was online, I'm like, oh, my, my sense of humor comes off as like a little snooty. Most of it is like, either you get it or you don't. Like, I don't want to Kate's made back. Like, if you don't, I say, are you well? It like rolls off my tongue.

Right. Maybe it comes off a little people are like, why are you know? Yeah. But it's just my humor. It's the way my friends and I talk. But there's a point in Mexico where I already had episode six dropped. It was the last episode of the first drop. And it ends with me telling Stephen.

And, like, you've got to share the space. You're talking a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And then the next – and that week leading up to the next drop was when I first experienced hate and people being like, you're so mean and so nasty. So then the next drop comes. We're still in Mexico.

And one of the first things you see is, like, the fireworks thing, Stephen doesn't come out. And I'm like, you know, you didn't come out with me. And then I'm looking at all the – we're not getting along at that party. There's tension. And I look at the girls. And I'm like, oh, my God, he's so scared to me. Like, I'm so mad at him. And I, watching that, I almost, like, I was, like, petrified of what I knew was going to be online.

This is something so small. But, like, my friends and I, since college, say that. We're, like, when we would be fighting with our appointments at a bar, we'd be like, oh, my God, he's so scared to me. Like, when our dads would be, like, you're mean to me. Be like, oh, he's so scared to me. It was just something said all, like, all of us for years. Nobody ever gets context. No one gets context.

But watching it back, I remember being like, that's actually, I will always say that I don't want a Kate Spade bag. But I don't, like, you're so scared of me. A lot of people online have been like, you were bragging about the fact that he was scared of you. I'm like, no, you guys are right. Like, that did not sound cute. Yeah. Like, I have to get rid of that for my vocabulary.

Or maybe just keep it in your circle. I'm so happy for you that you have like gone through one of the craziest things somebody could go through. Thank you. You've come out the other side. You're in a relationship. You're happy. So happy.

And you guys talk about having kids. Yeah, we do. Wow. Yeah, we really do. You said it early. I didn't say it. I know. You're right.

Yeah, I did. I did. I did say it. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. So you're overall happy. I'm so happy that you did it. I think I'm so happy I did it. I can't believe what comes with it because it's like I am a very, I have a big personality. Like I'm funny. I say weird things. You hear me say on camera like, saving my butt for marriage and like with a straight face. Like that's just who I am. You know, I'm a lot. And you watch it back and then you hear the commentary and you're like, wow, people, people literally think I'm a mean girl. And it's so crazy because like, like, Am I mean sometimes? Sure. But I just, it's like so hard to wrap your head around the extent of the hate. But even with all of that for, I'm really glad I did it. I wouldn't change it a thing. Yeah. Because I promise the hate will die. Like maybe not go away permanently, but that means you're doing something right. That's true. I'm sure it's like the more, you know, in your face you day never goes away. It's never going to go away. Yeah. But the love that you, like those people that stay and are invested in like your future are just. just the best. The best. I'm like, why is my neck itchy? What's happening? Full on tags. Tags. Like, not even like a small tag, like a cardboard box hanging out of my that is, oh, the best, isn't it? Thank you so much for coming on the pod. Thank you so much for having me. This is like, you're just as lovely as I thought you were maybe a little more.

Thank you so. There it goes. Not taking that back. Tell everybody where they can find you. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok, Monica J. Davis. Perfect. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I love you. I'm rooting for your future and I just can't wait to, like, stay in touch and see what happens for you.

Thank you so much. I can't believe it. Thank you. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday. Thank you.